Chapter Text
FANFICTION
MONK #1: hi
MONK #2: 'sup?
MONK #1: you've seen tv right
and movies
read books
that kind of thing?
MONK #2: oh yeah
MONK #1: well
what comes next
i mean
what do you do then
MONK #2: secret stories
write them for free
only show them to the internet
MONK #1: k
any general focus?
MONK #2: mostly kissing
and oh
almost forgot
make sure you feel irrationally strongly
MONK #1: about?
MONK #2: everything
for fun
SLASH
MONK #1: when someone writes a story
what's a thing it can be about
MONK #2: DUDES IN LOVE
all the dudes
in love
MONK #1: huh
even the--
MONK #2: ALL OF THEM
A/B/O
MONK #1: so when you're writing about dudes in love
what's the story like
MONK #2: well
you want everyone to be wolf-like
MONK #1: wolf-like?
MONK #2: yeah
with wolf roles
and wolf relationships
and wolf sexytimes
MONK #1: okay
anything else?
MONK #2: weird penises
weirder the better
MONK #1: k
MONK #2: oh and do you have a lunar calendar?
MPREG
MONK #1: hey the people with uteruses
who are they again?
MONK #2: women?
MONK #1: yeah
they're the baby-having ones
right?
MONK #2: ehh
SLASH, TAKE TWO
MONK #1: so what's the thing that women do, then?
MONK #2: ah
right
forgot to mention
be in love with other ladies
def make a note of that
SEX POLLEN
MONK #1: what was that one way
to get people to hook up
the logical one
MONK #2: oh that
plants
very sexy plants
ALIENS MAKE THEM DO IT
MONK #1: any others I should know about?
MONK #2: well it's kind of the same thing
but with outer space
MONK #1: go on
MONK #2: and people who aren't from around here
with kinda sketchy motivation
COFFEE SHOP A/U
MONK #1: say you want to mix things up
MONK #2: okay
MONK #1: put everyone in some kind of alternate universe
more creative
where the stakes are higher
MONK #2: ah I get where you're going with this
you want to inject some caffeine into the situation
MONK #1: yeah
so to speak
MONK #2: coffee shops
are definitely what you need
MONK #1: like...?
MONK #2: everyone works in a coffee shop
or goes to a coffee shop
vampires
superheroes
vulcans
whatevs
now in a coffee shop
it'll blow people's minds
WINGFIC
MONK #1: what are those things with wings again?
MONK #2: planes?
MONK #1: no the
the feather type wings
birds?
MONK #2: oh
no
people
MONK #1: are you sure it's not birds?
MONK #2: mosdef
the big feathery sexy kind?
definitely people
trust me
I think I know something about wings
RPF
MONK #1: hey so people in bands
MONK #2: yeah
MONK #1: what do they do again
i feel like it was something with music or ... ?
MONK #2: kissing actually
well mostly kissing
sometimes nudity
not sure about the music thing sry
MARY SUE AND GARY STU
MONK #1: people's eyes
what color are they
generally speaking
MONK #2: violet
mostly
MAYBE sparkling green
definitely hiding the pain of a tragic past
MONK #1: okay
and they're for seeing?
MONK #2: yeah i guess they do that too
but primarily it's a making-people-fall-in-love-with-you thing
MONK #1: gotcha
GENDER SWAP
MONK #2: oh hey btw
you can ignore the smaller canon details
MONK #1: oh cool...
like what?
MONK #2: idk
genitals and pronouns
stuff like that
HARRY POTTER FANDOM
MONK #1: that kid with the facial deformity
and the special stick
out of all the people he's ever met
which ones go together?
sexually speaking
MONK #2: oh all of them
any combo
don't forget the house elves
or the giant squid