Chapter Text
Olivia pushed through the door to the restaurant and glanced around, then she saw one of her friends rise from her chair in the corner and wave to attract her attention. Angela was a few inches shorter than Olivia, with short dark hair and stunning hazel eyes. Her dark skin was complemented by an emerald green dress and she smiled affectionately at Olivia as she moved toward the table.
Two friends facing away from her also stood eagerly as they saw Angela rise to greet their old friend, Marisha's super-defined coils looked gorgeous with her sleek black suit, and Grace's simple floral dress matched her classic English style and new loose curls.
“Girl, you look amazing!” Angela greeted her with a hug moments before Grace and Marisha also wrapped their arms around her.
Olivia laughed happily and felt her whole body relax into the warmth of her friends’ company. "You all look amazing, as always," she said as they moved to their seats.
They sat down and Grace poured her a glass of red wine from one of four open bottles in the middle of the table, after taking a sip Olivia nodded towards the bottles and lifted an eyebrow in silent query.
“We’re starting this evening with purpose,” Angela replied firmly and everyone laughed. “This night is ours, we can worry about our heads in the morning.”
Olivia sighed and nodded. “It has been too long, ladies.”
“And that was Angela’s wedding,” Marisha observed, “…so not nearly enough quality time together.”
“Well, Noah’s with friends and I'm not on call, so let’s order, then I want to hear everything,” Olivia told them happily. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to be here with you all.”
Everyone cheered quietly and lifted their glasses before focusing on inspecting the menu.
Three hours later, and conversation had flown as smoothly as the wine, along with the joy and laughter of old friends reunited.
They caught up about work and life, Angela and Olivia shared news about their children, and Marisha told them all about her amazing one-month-long trip to Europe. Being together again after such a long time felt like a cleansing glow had washed over them all.
“Okay, so it’s been over a year since the big day,” Olivia turned to Angela with a smile and an arched eyebrow, “…tell us all about how you’re settling into married life again.”
Angela laughed, rested her elbow on the table, chin in the palm of her hand and then grinned at her friends. “Life is really good ladies,” she assured them with a twinkle in her eyes.
“So you’re really happy?” Grace asked.
Angela had been married for twenty years, but then less than a year after their second son had left for college her husband Kelvin had announced that he’d met someone new and they were over. Suddenly the quieter future that Angela had talked about looking forward to sharing with her partner had imploded and she'd found herself living alone for the first time in her life.
Four years had passed, then almost two years ago the friends had met up and Angela had surprised them all by announcing that she was going to remarry. She’d met Jayden through work, they’d slowly become friends, then after about two years had finally admitted that they wanted more.
“I’m…” Angela’s smile broke into a broad grin, “…I’m so much more than happy. Life isn’t perfect, but life is so good. I have a real partner and I live every day of my life with my best friend.”
The friends were pleasantly surprised. Angela and Kelvin had been hot and heavy, their early twenties had been punctuated by the drama of their on-off relationship - the tears, the arguments, the break-ups, the reunions - before they had finally ‘settled down’ and had their sons Daniel and Christopher.
By comparison, her relationship with Jayden had seemed fast and carefree, almost too easy. So much so that each of the friends had silently worried that Angela had rushed into the relationship in an attempt to recreate what she had lost when her marriage had broken down.
Seeming to pick up on some remaining doubt Angela laughed good-naturedly, she understood that her friends were only concerned for her happiness and that they barely knew her husband.
“Can I let you all into a secret?” She asked conspiratorially.
“Always…” Olivia encouraged with an affectionate smile.
“I spent my twenties convincing myself that what Kelvin and I had was everything love should be. The passion, the jealousy…I thought that conflict was a huge part of what stoked the fire and kept our love alive.” She explained and rolled her eyes. “Into our thirties, as the kids grew, I told myself that my jealousy was confirmation that I cared and that his possessive nature was Kelvin’s way of showing his love.”
“You weren’t happy?” Olivia asked with genuine concern.
“We had our moments,” Angela assured her, “…good years and bad years, like everyone, but I always felt on edge and I reassured myself that the anxiety I felt was a side effect of not wanting to lose that passion.”
“What are you saying?” Marisha asked.
“I’m trying to say that it’s all different now. I wake up every morning and feel Jayden’s arms wrapped around me. I don’t feel insecure, I don’t feel on edge. I’ve not one single doubt that my man is exactly where he wants to be. I married my best friend, my partner, that brings an amazing feeling of safety.”
“Safety?” Grace asked and looked unsure.
“Doesn’t sound like he brings that fire,” Marisha teased lightly.
Angela laughed, “I learned something else in my fifties,” she grinned, “…safe is sexy. That safety means that I can give myself completely. Don’t get me wrong Kelvin and I had our fun, but…”
All the women looked surprised now, the one thing they felt sure about was that Angela and Kelvin had an amazing sex life.
“That deep connection with Jayden, the trust, the communication. I give myself over to him entirely, he is completely mine. It’s a passion and a connection unlike I've ever felt in my life. The family I had with Kelvin was amazing, you guys know that Daniel and Christopher are my life, but what I’ve found with Jayden makes me happy in a way that I didn’t even know was possible.”
Olivia smiled broadly, “You really love him don’t you?”
“Girl, he’s my other half. Kelvin and I had fireworks, and I’ll always love him as the father of our boys, but Jayden makes me feel seven feet tall. When I see myself through his eyes…Liv, it’s almost like falling in love with him has allowed me to fall in love with myself again.”
Now Olivia’s eyes swam with tears.
“Plus, he makes me laugh,” Angela added happily, “…and we talk, we talk for hours, we talk about silly superficial stuff, and all the shit I haven’t told anyone. He’s my person, a locked vault. I want to tell him everything and I can’t imagine reaching a point in our lives when I’m not fascinated to hear the next words out of his mouth.”
“He sounds like Mr Perfect,” Marisha teased happily.
“Oh, we argue,” Angela confirmed, “…and the man can drive me crazy. I’m not trying to suggest we have a quixotic relationship, but we’re locked in, we talk, we compromise, and we always become stronger.”
“You did marry your best friend, didn’t you?” Olivia observed.
“I think we’re conditioned by fiction to believe that love comes with drama and pining, but I believe the truth is that it shouldn’t be that hard. Haven’t y’all ever been with someone that just fits? Who fits into your life like they should’ve always been there, like they fit perfectly with your soul…” Angela linked her fingers. “Because I’m here to tell you that someone who brings you peace, that person could also have the power to rock your world.” She grinned and waggled her eyebrows.
Olivia’s breath caught loudly and she swallowed hard.
“Wait a minute! What aren’t you telling us?” Angela suddenly locked in on her friend’s expression and leaned in.
“Nothing,” Olivia protested weakly.
“Don’t try to brush me off with ‘nothing’. I know that look, you’ve met someone!” Angela’s eyes glowed with excitement and her eagerness to know more only increased as she watched her friend squirm. “No, tell us everything,” she insisted fascinated that her words had triggered something in her friend.
“It’s nothing, really,” Olivia tried to maintain.
“No, Liv, I can see it in your eyes! What Angela’s saying made you think about a guy!” Grace joined in and was delighted when she saw that Olivia’s cheeks had started to flush.
“No, I haven’t met anyone! I’m just happy to hear about Angela and Jayden,” Olivia tried to put them off the scent again.
Angela’s eyes narrowed, she didn’t think that Olivia was lying, but she was trying to deflect and hide something, or someone. “So…this is someone you’ve known for a while?” She easily read between the lines.
Olivia shifted in her seat, Angela was an excellent lawyer, but she also knew her too well…lying was not going to work.
“It’s nothing, really…silly, honestly…can we just leave it?” She asked with a slightly pleading tone. None other friends could remember seeing her look this flustered about a guy, even when they were younger. Olivia could jump in fast but she rarely allowed herself to lose her head.
Angela wasn’t about to let it go that easily. “Someone you’ve known a while? A friend? You’re always with Noah… So I’m guessing a colleague? A colleague who you’ve become closer to, but not a cop…” Angela thought through her options, she specialised in corporate law so saw less of Olivia than she would have liked, but they did have a few friends in common and they still talked often on the phone.
A friend, someone she’d become closer to…
Angela peered at Olivia as though trying to read her mind and the detective suddenly started to feel like she was doing just that. For Olivia, being the focus of her friend's sharp investigative mind was surprisingly alarming and she couldn’t help but wonder if she had this effect on others.
Thinking carefully about her friend Angela turned to the other two, as though looking for backup. “We looking for someone with a strong moral compass, a shared need for justice, confident but not too cocky, at least not outside of work…some vulnerability, he’d need to be good with Noah…and we all know that it isn’t easy to push your way into our girl’s heart.”
Olivia saw the moment that one name suddenly came to Angela’s mind.
He’d come up in conversation often since they’d begun working together, but suddenly Angela realised she’d rarely spoken to Olivia over the last couple of years without Rafael Barba being mentioned!
Angela had met Barba briefly when he’d worked in Brooklyn and they had a couple of friends in common. She knew he was smart, probably the best lawyer in the DA’s office, certainly not to be messed with. However, one of her colleagues had taken a class with him at Harvard, so she knew one more important fact - Rafael Barba was one of the good guys.
“Rafael Barba!” Angela said with a revelatory smile.
“What? No!” Olivia protested with a scarcely credible effort that made Marisha choke on her wine.
“And who is Rafael Barba?” She asked, her investment now dialled up to critical.
Olivia glared at Marisha without genuine anger. “Rafael is a colleague …” she paused and then clarified, “…a close friend. I don’t know why everyone is suddenly so interested in him.”
Grace now also leaned in, suddenly fascinated. “Maybe because we know you, one mention of his name and you can barely sit still!”
“It’s not like that,” Olivia tried to convince them. “He’s a friend, probably my closest friend. We’ve been through so much together and Noah thinks the world of him. He’s…” She was horrified to feel tears start to well in her eyes as her words dried up.
“Hey,” Angela cut in, “…we didn’t mean to upset you, just say the word if you don’t want to talk about this.” She moved her chair closer and grabbed Olivia’s hand. “Sweetheart, please…”
Olivia smiled tearfully and shook her head. “Sorry, I’m being stupid.”
“You are not,” Marisha assured her forcefully.
“We were pushing you…” Grace assured her apologetically.
“You weren’t,” Olivia smiled and then corrected, “…well okay, you were a bit…but with good intentions.”
“Seriously, do you want to talk about this? Or move on?” Angela asked directly.
Olivia was quiet for a moment and then finally smiled. “I guess when Angela was talking…” she sighed, “…I couldn’t help but think about my friendship with Rafa.”
“You’ve…slept together?” Grace asked cautiously.
“No…” Olivia said and inexplicably felt her emotions begin to overwhelm her again. “God, what’s wrong with me?”
Angela smiled, “You heard me talking about my amazing sex life and decided that you want yours?” She tried to tease her old friend.
Olivia laughed tearfully and dropped her face into her hands.
“He’s hot, right?” Angela added. “It’s been a few years, but I do remember him…”
“Rafael is a wonderful man and I mean this with complete respect for our friendship, but sometimes I wonder how I keep my hands to myself.” Following the tension, Olivia had said this with such dry honesty that all of her friends howled with laughter.
As they settled down Marisha refilled their drinks.
“What if he’s the only chance I have to find what Angela has with Jayden?” Olivia asked.
“How would that be a bad thing?” Grace said pointedly. “That means you’ve found it! I would love to meet a woman who I could connect with like that.”
Olivia looked up toward the ceiling and smiled sadly. Finally, she looked at them all and asked the question she didn’t want to face. “What if he doesn’t want me?”
“Not even possible,” Marisha grinned.
Olivia smiled sadly and rolled her eyes. “Be serious, Rish, I’m not talking about whether some guy at the bar wants me, I’m talking about whether wanting more from one of the most important people in my life could destroy our whole relationship.”
“Rafael, he’s your closest friend?” Angela asked.
Olivia nodded.
“You trust him?” She continued.
Olivia nodded again. “With my life.”.
“Cops, always so dramatic,” Marisha smirked teasingly and made Olivia laugh.
“I think you need to trust him enough to be honest with him,” Angela suggested.
“We know you, Liv,” Grace added softly, “…you don’t open your heart easily, so if you love this man then you have to trust him enough to let him see that.”
Olivia nodded slowly for a moment. “I think I need to go…” she announced and suddenly pushed her chair back.
“Wait, are you thinking about going to see him now?” Angela asked, glancing pointedly at all the empty bottles on their table.
“I’m not drunk, Angela,” Olivia insisted. “I loved him yesterday, I feel like I’ve loved him every day for as long as I can remember, that isn’t going to change in the morning…but maybe I’ll lose my nerve.”
Grace also looked unsure.
“I’m not going to regret this…” Olivia asserted firmly, “…well, unless he turns me down!” She laughed nervously at this, then continued, “If he wants me then I think we could be amazing, and if he doesn’t want me…” she stood decisively and pulled on her jacket, “…well, then I just have to trust that we can work through it together.” She turned with purpose, stumbled a little and then walked confidently toward the exit.
“Call us!” Angela shouted after her friend and then looked around the table nervously.
“Should we have let her go?” Grace asked.
“She’s not drunk, there are plenty of cabs outside,” Marisha said reassuringly.
“No, I mean should we have let her go talk to him? What if it blows up in her face?” Grace looked at her cell. “It’s almost midnight!”
“Maybe we should have stopped her…” Angela groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose, she could feel a headache coming on already.
“You’re sure he’s a good guy?” Marisha asked.
Angela nodded, “The way Liv talks about him, he adores her…and my friend went to college with him, she said he was ‘sweet’, he can be an asshole in the courtroom but he can’t have changed all that much.”
“And what if he doesn’t want her?” Marisha added.
“Then…well, then he’s an idiot,” Grace concluded.
Angela nodded thoughtfully, she was almost certain that Rafael Barba wasn’t an idiot.
tbc…