Chapter Text
Rolf woke slowly with the sun, the light filtering through his eyelids was dim but definitely lit with some sunlight. Normally his dad would be awake and bustling to get searching by now, but hadn't they driven somewhere last night?
Rolf yawned and blinked his eyes open. Bright green eyes loomed inches in front of his face. He jolted in surprise and sat up, only to slam his forehead straight into the forehead above him.
He cried out in pain, clutching his face just as Harry did the same. Wait, Harry?
Rolf raised his hands away from his eyes and squinted through the pain to see Harry sitting in front of him clutching painfully at his face.
Pain forgotten, he launched himself forward to wrap his arms around the other boy. They both went tumbling backwards off the bed and hit the ground with a loud thump.
“Ow!” Harry whined. “Why is your hello so painful?”
“Harry!” Rolf wailed, tears coming to his eyes. He completely ignored Harry's grumbling and squeezed onto him tightly, burying his face in Harry's shoulder.
“Hey, it's okay, I'm okay,” Harry said, reaching around to hug Rolf back as Rolf began to cry. Harry sounded so bewildered that Rolf couldn't help but chuckle wetly. “Ow! Don't hit me too!”
“You were gone for days!” Rolf wailed, continuing to hit Harry despite his protests. “You didn't go to the rock! I thought you were dead!”
“Ow! Stop! I got lost! Ow! Rolf!” Harry tried wriggling away, but Rolf stopped hitting him to cling on. They rolled roughly around the floor, Harry trying to escape and push Rolf off while Rolf was having none of it. One of them kicked the bedside table, knocking the candelabra standing on it to the floor with a crash. Luckily the candles hadn't been lit but their wax bodies shattered on the floor.
The mess did nothing to stop the wrestling as they rolled around.
“Boys,” His dad rasped gruffly from the bed, his voice was hoarse with disuse. His dad had struggled through enough to say a few things to Rolf the last few days, but the sound still surprised Rolf. “What are you doing?”
Rolf was hoisted off of Harry by the back of his nightgown while Harry was lifted to his feet by his arm. Rolf started crying again, while Harry just looked up at their dad in alarm.
Xanthus slid down to the floor and pulled them both into his chest in a tight hug. Rolf grabbed tightly onto his dad's shirt and cried into his chest as both Harry and his dad hugged him. He could almost feel them exchanging looks, so he punched Harry one more time for good measure.
His dad chuckled as Harry protested the hit, but Rolf didn't hit him again.
His dad fell asleep sitting on the floor while Rolf cried himself out. His dad had gotten barely any sleep at all, constantly going out and searching for Harry. Trying to communicate with no-maj drivers. Driving up and down the roads leading to the tower.
Now he sat with his head tipped back onto the bed, mouth hung open, snoring lightly. His arm had slid weakly down Rolf's back so that his hug was light but not gone.
Harry looked up curiously at Xanthus, his hand reached up to poke him but Rolf caught it before he could. He shook his head minutely at Harry and they both carefully slipped out of Xanthus' arms and into the hall. Rolf closed the door quietly and they made their way into the kitchen.
Harry puttered around finding some old bread and jam to eat. He didn't look much worse for wear. His clothes were the same as he wore when they separated, torn up some but not too dirty. His hair was even messier than usual and it certainly didn't seem freshly washed but it wasn't multiple days dirty either.
“Mmmmm, bread,” Harry hummed between mouthfuls of his untoasted bread and jam.
Rolf nibbled at his bread. His head hurt from hitting Harry and also the floor. His shoulder hurt from falling off the bed. His shin hurt from kicking something, perhaps meaning it was his fault for knocking the table. His eyes hurt from crying so much and his face felt puffy and gross.
He was happy. So happy Harry was here.
But he still felt scared.
There was this unease at the base of his spine that wasn't there before and hadn't gone away even though Harry was back.
His dad roused rather suddenly, stumbling loudly into the hallway and looking around wildly until he spotted them. He slumped in relief before he made his way in. He hugged Rolf tightly and then Harry. He cleared his throat a few times before trying to talk.
“Sorry for sleeping so long,” he said. It was much more than Rolf was used to hearing and his dad seemed relieved that he could talk. Like it surprised him. “Do you want breakfast?”
“Yes please!” Harry said. “I’m sick of jam.”
“You? Sick of food? Are you sure you're my Harry?” His dad teased, his voice thick but somehow still light. “Not an imposter right?”
Harry just stuck out his tongue.
They ate a huge breakfast before getting on the road again. His dad briefly went to talk to some people while Rolf and Harry waited, then they were off.
It felt startlingly normal sitting in the cab, between the window and Harry, watching the world roll by. It felt like he missed something.
Harry told him to run. Then his dad found him and told him to hide. Then he'd come back all beat up and bloodied. Then they knew where Harry was and drove there. Then Harry wasn't there. His dad barely said a word. They drove back and forth, checking the rock over and over. Stopping along the freeway to see if anyone had seen any hitchhiking kids. Back and forth. No sign of Harry. Then he went to sleep last night cuddled into his dad who had passed out from having basically not slept at all and when he woke up this morning they were in an entirely different place and Harry was in his bed.
His dad and Harry weren't talking about it at all.
They just sat there, as if it was any other road trip, but it wasn't. Rolf didn't know what had happened or why it had happened or if it would happen again.
None of it made sense.
He was scared.
He slumped against the window, pressing his cheek to it and tried not to cry. He didn't want to seem like a baby. He'd already cried a lot and the boys in his class said only babies and girls cried. He didn't want Harry to think he was a baby.
So he just watched as the trees turned to grasslands. The mountains gave way to rolling hills and flat plains. They drove until the sun was low in the sky behind them and suddenly they were at Bear’s Lodge again; the rock spire standing stark in the sky.
Rolf didn't want to be here. He didn't want to look at it again. He avoided it as he got out of the cab and ran to the back of the truck. He skipped dinner and went straight to bed, pulling the covers up over his head.
He could hear the clicking of dinner being cooked and eaten and the murmur of mostly Harry talking, but also his dad a bit.
He couldn't actually sleep though.
His door opened and he braced for Harry to come cuddle up with him, but he didn't. The door closed and no one came. His heart sank.
It took four days till they stopped driving. Rolf tried to enjoy them. They stopped off at rivers and watering holes. One place they could jump off a bridge into the water. Harry seemed determined to cheer him up so Rolf did his best to be cheered.
The swimming was fun and the driving was familiar. It was like last summer and felt as if nothing was wrong.
Something was wrong though.
Rolf just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. He felt like he was always looking over his shoulder. He noticed that his dad was very vigilant. That he always walked around putting up wards and always kept an eye out. In retrospect he'd always done that, now it felt ominous, meaningful.
At night Rolf felt especially jittery and unsafe, but he refused to sneak into his dad or Harry's room. He knew he'd feel better if he did but he didn't want to come off as needy. He didn't want to seem scared to them.
They weren't scared.
Vigilant sure.
Maybe a little melancholy.
But not scared.
Rolf had known that Harry was in danger. That he couldn't tell his mom that Harry was here. That his dad had lied for a whole year so that no one would know where Harry was. He had been told that but he'd never felt it before.
Now he did.
He was still mad too. They hadn't told him anything. They hadn't told him what happened, who attacked them, why Harry went missing, how he'd come back. He felt like he deserved to know but they hadn't told him anything.
He pretended like nothing was wrong.
When they got to their destination it was Grandma Tina and Grandpa Newts. The place he'd first met Harry. After two years, he didn't even realize that's where they were at first. It wasn't until Grandma Tina came walking out of the house as they parked next to the barn that Rolf recognized the barn at all.
It was late enough to be dark out. Harry was asleep in the middle seat. His head slumped into their dad's lap. He roused, blinking as Xanthus opened the door. Rolf watched as first recognition, then excitement and then worry flushed Harry's face.
“Harry!” Grandma Tina said as she came to the door. “Thank Merlin you were found. Oh Rolf, it's been too long. Come on then kiddos, I've got dinner and pie inside.”
Rolf watched as his grandma pulled his dad down into a tight hug before Rolf opened his door to get out. Harry slid out behind him slowly, looking around like he wanted to memorize every inch of the place.
The night was warm and the buzz of bugs and frogs filled the air as they made their way inside.
They'd almost reached the kitchen when his dad stopped suddenly. Rolf barely stopped himself from walking into him, but Harry, who was busy looking around the living room, didn't notice and smashed into Rolf, who tripped into Xanthus. His dad stumbled but didn't fall, even as Rolf and Harry went clattering to the ground.
“Ooof, sorry,” Harry groaned as he rolled off of him. Rolf just rubbed his knees and glared at Harry's sheepish look.
Harry got up and pulled Rolf to his feet. He looked around and found his dad looking rather defensive, having stepped forward to put himself between Harry and the kitchen table.
Sitting at the kitchen table was a very old man that Rolf didn't know. He was even older than Grandpa Newt, with a long white beard and long white hair. He wore his wizards cap, even though they were inside and his robes were a rich velvety purple with a smattering of stars that actually glowed around his sleeves and hem. He had half moon glasses and he was smiling kindly at the three of them, even as his dad frowned back.
“Ah, excellent, it's good to see you again Xanthus. Harry.” The man said, tipping his head to each of them. “And who is this I haven't met yet?”
“Er, Rolf, sir,” Rolf said as it seemed like his dad wasn't going to answer.
“Come on Xanthus, don't just sit there, come eat,” Grandma Tina said, indicating to the table. It had been expanded out to accommodate more people. Grandpa Newt was sitting at the table sipping at some tea, looking perfectly comfortable, clearly having already finished dinner.
Xanthus sat stiffly while Rolf and Harry followed curiously. Grandma Tina served them roast and potatoes and sat.
The silence was growing distinctly uncomfortable before the old man chuckled lightly and broke it.
“No need to be so concerned, Xanthus, I'm not here to get you in trouble,” the man said, then after a considering look at the three of them added. “Or take Harry from you.”
His dad seemed to relax at the admission.
“What are you here for then?” He asked softly.
“An account of what happened and any help I can give for keeping it from happening again,” the man said. “Nothing more than that, unless there is more I can offer you?”
“Which can all wait till after dinner,” Grandma Tina said pointedly. “And just because Albus isn't going to scold you, don't think I won’t.”
“Ah, Tina, I don't think that's necessary,” The man, Albus, chuckled. She just glowered sternly at him in response. He held up his hands in surrender.
They ate as Albus and Grandpa Newt made small talk, discussing people Rolf had never heard of and what they were up to. It wasn't very interesting except that Rolf had hardly ever heard his Grandpa speak so much at once. Especially about anything other than magical creatures. Not that there wasn't any magical creature discussion, because there was plenty of that as well.
They each got a small plate of pie that they took to eat in the living room. Harry opted to sit on the floor instead of the couches so Rolf sat next to him, feeling a bit out of place.
Harry didn't look like he recognized the man at all, but his dad's uneasiness put them both on guard.
“So, Xanthus, I hope you don't mind. I read the letter you sent Tina on how Harry was lost, but I'm quite curious how Harry was found again after being missing for so long?” The man began after they'd all settled.
“Jack found him,” Xanthus said gruffly. “Don't know how.”
“Perhaps Harry knows then, would you mind telling me how you found Xanthus again Harry?” Ablus asked, turning to Harry.
“Who are you?” Harry asked instead, glaring boldly at the man. Rolf felt a bit startled by his directness but the man just chuckled some more.
“Oh, I'm sorry, I haven't introduced myself,” Albus said. “I am Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts and many other pretentious titles-” Grandma Tina choked on her drink as he said this, making the man wink merrily at her. “I met you a few times as a baby but I can hardly expect you to remember that. Apologies for my rudeness.”
“Oh,” Harry said. He looked up at Xanthus to check it was okay to talk. Xanthus nodded his head slightly.
“Well,” Harry said sheepishly. “I was attacked in town and I led them away from the no-maj into the woods and then- then- er… well I lost them but then I got lost.” He paused here as if thinking about something. “I got really lost. Then I found a wizard who was also lost, but he needed to go to where Jack and Daciana go, so we went there together. That's it really. A nice woman helped us and we drove with someone she knew most of the rest of the way.”
Even Rolf could tell Harry was leaving something out. He never got lost in the woods around town and that didn't explain why he thought he could make it to the spire without magic.
“That's it really,” Harry said.
“Who was the wizard?” Grandma Tina asked in slight alarm. “Did you give him your name?”
“Er, his name was Remus Lupin,” Harry said. “He was British. I didn't tell him my name.”
“Remus, really?” Albus asked.
“Do you know the man, Albus?” Grandma Tina asked seriously.
“Albus knows every British wizard,” Grandpa Newt chuckled but Tina shut him up with a glare.
“No need for alarm,” Albus smiled, “in fact I cannot think of a safer wizard for Harry to have run into. I didn't know he was in America, I haven't checked up on him in a while. He was best friends with Harry's dad and I'm sure he would do anything he could for Harry if he knew. As is, he is a kind wizard with an unfortunate affliction and it doesn't surprise me in the slightest that he'd help a child in need. I certainly can't see him leaving a lost kid and not helping.”
“Yeah, he didn't like that I was lost,” Harry mumbled. Rolf looked over at him and found Harry looking rather melancholy. “Uh, was my mom's name Lily?”
“Yes,” Albus said simply. “Lily and James, were you not told?”
“I think I forgot,” Harry said. “I also forgot the wizard I have to fight’s name too. Which is embarrassing, but it was kinda long and complicated sounding.”
“Voldemort,” Xanthus said as Albus blinked in surprise.
“What do you mean, have to fight?” Albus asked seriously.
“Oh, er, is it okay if he knows?” Harry asked, looking up at their dad.
“I suspect he already does,” Xanthus said. He sounded… mad? Which was weird. Rolf looked at him curiously.
“Caught red handed, I suppose,” Albus said. “I'm curious how you know though. I thought it was a well kept secret.”
“A magical creature told us,” his dad said sitfly.
“Really?” Grandpa Newt perked up. “A centaur?”
“Later dad,” Xanthus said, shaking his head.
“Right, well, I'm glad you're safe,” Albus said kindly. “It's quite late, I don't want to keep you boys up.”
His dad almost jumped to his feet to usher them outside.
“Won't you sleep here?” Albus asked curiously as they reached the door.
“Safer this way,” his dad responded but didn't stop as they made their way to the truck.
The old man stayed for a few more days, and things became less tense when he was around pretty quickly. He seemed to be an old friend of his grandparents and they reminisced happily through tea most days. He kept pulling his dad aside to have serious conversations that Rolf and Harry weren't privy to, but his dad didn't seem so tense anymore. Just thoughtful.
Harry threw himself into the reserve. Whenever Grandpa Newt wasn't talking to the old man, Harry was following him around as he took care of the creatures there. Rolf felt a bit abandoned by Harry, but he still refused to seek him out.
After his third day of wandering around bored and lonely and still crawling with that lingering fear that they just weren't safe. He'd had enough. The feelings all built on each other. He felt angry and scared and ashamed all at the same time and he'd felt that way for days. He just couldn't do it anymore.
He walked back to the house, feeling a growing determination and dread filling him with each step. Tears came to his eyes even as he tried not to cry. He heard voices as he walked upto the house.
“It still suffers from the same problem as the community,” his dad was saying to the old man. “If he leaves, he's vulnerable. He's a fearless child, it'll be hard for him to stay in bounds.”
“Yes, but he can just walk back in,” Albus said in return. “I understand you want him to have freedom, Xanthus, but there are always going to be trade offs here.”
“Is that what you called leaving him with those people?” Grandma Tina snapped, Rolf peered through the door to see the three of them standing conspiratorially together.
“A mistake, perhaps,” Albus said. “I still fear for the magics lost, but I concede that some risk is worth it and I was too focused on safety. Perhaps I still am, but this doesn't seem so bad, does it?”
“Er, dad?” Rolf interrupted. They all fell silent as he approached.
“Hey kiddo,” his dad said softly, coming over to pick him up. “What's the matter?”
“Wanna go home,” Rolf murmured, clutching at his dad's robes.
Xanthus rubbed Rolfs back softly as he carried them out towards the truck.
“What do you need?” His dad asked as they made their way into the familiar hallway.
“Wanna go home,” Rolf said again, crying harder as he said it. It felt horrible to say. He wasn't really sure he wanted to go home, he just felt unsafe and left out and he didn't know how to fix it. He just wanted to feel normal again.
“We are home?” His dad said, sounding confused.
“I… I wanna go home… to mom,” Rolf sobbed.
“Oh,” his dad said, stopping in his tracks, his hand stilling on Rolf's back. He just stood there for a moment. “Are… are you sure?”
Rolf nodded into his robes.
“Oh, well, yes,” his dad mumbled. “I mean, of course you can, uh, you can go back early if you want but, uh, is there anything I can do to change your mind?”
Rolf hesitated and then shook his no.
“Right,” his dad said and Rolf realized suddenly his dad was very upset. Guilt twisted in his gut, but it just made him want to go home more. “Can it wait till tomorrow? So we can have a last dinner together?”
Rolf hesitated, thinking of another awkward dinner and shook his head no.
His dad didn't say anything for a while after that, just held Rolf into him tightly.
Eventually he loosened his grip and put Rolf down.
“Can you wait here, while I, uh, arrange that?” His dad asked. Rolf nodded. His dad hesitated longer, running his hands up and down Rolf's arms before turning to leave. Rolf didn't watch him exit. Instead he ran into his room and threw himself on the bed to cry.
A little while later his door slammed open and Harry came storming in.
“What do you mean, you're leaving?” Harry demanded.
Rolf didn't respond, rolling over so that he faced away from Harry and pulling a pillow into his face.
“You have two whole weeks left,” Harry continued to protest, grabbing Rolf's shoulder and trying to pull him over. Rolf shook him off roughly and clutched tighter to his pillow. “Rolf! What's wrong? Why are you doing this?”
“Go away,” Rolf murmured into his pillow. Finally having Harry's attention, he found it just made him madder. He could have given him attention before now, but only now that Rolf was leaving did he care.
Rolf heard Harry storm out of the room.
A bit later Grandma Tina came into the room, sitting softly on the bed.
“Hey Rolf,” She said softly, patting gently on his shoulder. “Everything is arranged, but I have to be the bad guy here and make sure of a few things.”
Rolf sat up and rubbed his face, looking at her curiously.
“You can tell your mom that one of your friends went missing and came back, but you still can't tell her about Harry. You haven't, have you?”
He shook his head no.
“Good,” she said. “You promise not to tell her still?”
He nodded, looking at his hands instead of your face.
“I'm sorry to ask this of you, especially when you're so upset,” she said, although she didn't sound very sorry. “But it's for your safety, which surely you see now?”
He nodded.
“Right, well, time to go then,” she said.
When his father apparated him home, he ran to his room, ignoring his mom as he closed his door and hid in his bed. It felt good to be in the comfort of his room, but he could hear the murmurs of argument between his parents outside. It made his gut churn worse.
The sound died down. His mom knocked lightly on the door before entering and sitting on the bed.
“Hello love,” she said softly, running her fingers through his hair. “I've missed you.”
She bent down and kissed his head, then continued running her fingers through his hair. He fell asleep to her gentle humming, finally feeling safe again, even as guilt twisted in his gut.