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So Summon on the Pearl Rosary

Summary:

It began the day Elder Price emerged from his bedroom moaning and groaning about having a headache, claiming that he couldn’t bear to do any chores in such excruciating pain.
Elder McKinley was sympathetic, of course, but knew Elder Price well enough to know he had a penchant for the dramatics, and was ready to tell him to get out into the garden and get to work. Until one of the other elders whispered something along the lines of “I heard once that sexual intercourse makes headaches go away.” and promptly ruined Connor McKinley’s life.

 

or, Elder Price has very loudly and proudly discovered the wonders of masturbation and Elder McKinley isn't handling it very well

Notes:

hey book of mormon fans I'm only, what, *checks calendar* 13 years late
title from Moment's Silence (Common Tongue) by Hozier because I had to use the religious imagery blowjob song for a fic with religious imagery and blowjobs

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

It began the day Elder Price emerged from his bedroom moaning and groaning about having a headache, claiming he couldn’t bear to do any chores in such excruciating pain.

Elder McKinley was sympathetic, of course, but knew Elder Price well enough to know he had a penchant for the dramatics, and was ready to tell him to get out into the garden and get to work. Until one of the other elders whispered something along the lines of “I heard once that sexual intercourse makes headaches go away.” and promptly ruined Connor McKinley’s life.

For a young man who had been tirelessly and very proudly crossing off every single rule he could possibly break on the endless list of rules they abode by, Elder Price was the worst possible audience for that statement.

Connor saw the cogs turning in his head; the realisation that this was a temptation he had yet to give in to. Elder Price grinned.

And so began the most skin-rending four months of abstinence Connor had ever faced.

Kevin had snuck off to his room that morning without a word, then moments later came into the common room to shamelessly announce that while it hadn’t completely cured his headache, masturbation felt great.

19 years of pent-up desire meant Elder Price was excusing himself to his room halfway through chores at least 3 days in a row every week, leaving the rest of the elders in awkward silence as each of them visibly had an intrusive little fantasy before getting back to work. Arnold had been nothing less than mortified when it all began, but had slowly come to terms with it, going so far as to say he was adding ‘masturbation is cool now’ to the Book of Arnold.

The walls weren’t thick, but Elder Price seemingly had the wherewithal to keep himself quiet, and Connor thanked God for that – but Price suddenly doing his laundry twice a week rather than the regular once a week was sign enough of what was going on. And it was none of Connor’s business. Absolutely none. He didn’t lie awake at night, fingertips barely dipping below the hem of his garments, imagining in excruciating detail what might be going on behind the door down the hall.

Connor was certainly no stranger to sexual fantasies – there was one he had often liked to revisit when he was younger, before quickly turning it right off. You don’t want to have another Hell dream, do you? As if he didn’t already get them every single night. But the Hell dreams had been lessening as their new little family drifted further and further away from the Mormon Church, and Connor began to allow himself to play his fantasies out in full.

Typically, it was him and Elder Price (who would tell him in a rough drawl to “call me Kevin.”) somewhere secluded and out of sight of the rest of the elders, which usually spanned either the utility closet in the house, or in a luxury space cruiser where Kevin was space royalty and Connor was his doting regent. It would start normal (they were forced to play 7 Minutes in Heaven or the Queen of Planet Roxnar was assassinated and the Kevin needed something to take his mind off it) where Kevin and Connor are sat close to each other, barely touching, until Kevin takes initiative and kisses Connor in a way he doubts real Kevin has the experience for. After that it’s a lot of skin-on-skin – hands squeezing fat, mouths on necks, hands down … certain articles of clothing. But it rarely went any further than just touching, attributed to Connor’s overall lack of knowledge in anything sex related.

He'd had a bout of teenage rebellion once that led him to hesitantly Googling ‘boys kissing’ on the family computer, all the while swivelling his head in all directions like a criminal setting a bomb. Then he closed the tab almost immediately and prayed for about ten minutes, before googling it again the next day.

So it was to images of Kevin licking down Connor’s chest to his hips that he slipped his fingers under his garments and put his hand around himself for the first time. Gosh, was Kevin right.

 

***

 

Elder Price was now very vocal about the ‘wonders of masturbation’, which often resulted in some pretty awkward dinner table conversations and left Connor gripping his seat like a crazy person. Sinning was almost a new form of proselytising for Elder Price – every morning Connor woke up drowsy, Price would make a quiet comment about how he could very easily fix that with one little drink, but Connor still wasn’t entirely sold on coffee. It did make Elder Price smell nice, though, so he had to admit it wasn’t all bad.

But based on the laundry load, either the other boys were better at cleaning up after themselves, or it was only Kevin and Connor who had given in to sin, which made Connor think some very dirty things that sounded vaguely like Butual Basturbation.

But he ignored it.

Elder Price was allowed to have his private time to himself, and so was Connor.

Until the night Connor was laying on his stomach, hand cupping his groin, grinding into the bed as quietly as he could, and someone knocked on the bedroom door. It had only been about an hour before Connor had quote-unquote gone to sleep, which meant it likely wasn’t an emergency. Elder Thomas didn’t stir, which unhelpfully made Connor think to himself that he could be a bit louder if he really wanted to.

Another knock.

Connor wriggled out of bed, smoothing his garments down as well as he could and grimacing at the very clear arousal tenting his pants. He opened the door with a quiet creak, shuffled behind it to shield himself, and was met with his worst nightmare and greatest fantasy.

Kevin Price was standing awkwardly before him, dressed only in a towel wrapped around his hips.

Connor could barely keep eye contact.

“Elder! What do you need?” Connor smiled.

Elder Price only managed to look more awkward. “Um, I was about to have a shower but there isn’t any water coming out and Arnold sleeps like a rock so I couldn’t wake him up, and besides, I doubt he would be any help other than to suggest hitting the tap with a hammer, so I was wondering if you knew what to do. Sorry for waking you up, also.”

Connor eyed the portrait hung above the front door. Jesus Christ indeed.

“Don’t apologise, Elder, I was barely sleeping anyway,” he said, forcing his friendly District Leader tone. “And it’s an easy fix – happens all the time.”

Price visibly relaxed. “Oh, great!”

They stood in the doorway for a moment longer as Connor was finally struck with the realisation that he would have to move out from behind the door to get to the bathroom. “Let me, uh, let me get some clothes on first.”

He swore rapidly under his breath (crap, fudge, fudging idiot, and the like) as he shoved his trousers on, knowing full well it did very little to hide the boner that had only come back stronger than ever seeing Kevin half-naked.

He just hoped the night was dark enough to keep it hidden as he joined Kevin and closed the door behind him.

“Are you hard?”

Fudging idiot, fudging idiot, fudging idiot.

Kevin was looking at him with a strange expression – a mix of genuine curiosity, slight embarrassment, and something darker that absolutely did not help the situation.

“What?” Connor hummed, pushing past him, and ignoring his tantalising scent of coffee and sweat. He even managed to make sweat smell good.

Kevin jogged to catch up, tilting his head slightly both to look Connor in the eye and to show off his perfect puppy dog eyes. Connor was barely shorter than Kevin but he secretly liked how those two inches of difference made him feel. “I asked if you were hard. Sorry if that made you uncomfortable,” Kevin said. “I don’t always have a great filter.”

“It’s alright.”

“I get hard in awkward situations all the time, if that’s any consolation.”

“I’d prefer not to talk about it.”

“Right! Sorry.”

Connor opened the door to the bathroom, which could hardly be called a bathroom – a shower and a sink crammed in next to each other with the toilet in a separate small room. Brushing teeth in the morning was nothing short of a cramped nightmare. He grabbed the box of tools sat under the sink for this specific purpose, and got to work taking the shower handles off while Price perched on the sink. “So, what causes it?” he asked, swinging his legs.

“No clue. But we ran into the issue in the first week we got here and I just fiddled around with stuff until I got it working. The other elders were too scared there would be snakes hiding in the pipes, so I had to take Leader initiative and do it myself.” He pulled a small piece of plastic from the inside of the handle, and pushed down until it clicked. Then, he pushed it back where it belonged and was instantly hit with a spray of cold water.

Connor did not shriek, despite what Elder Price would say later on, but he did let out somewhat of a manly exclamation, wiping his face with his equally wet hands. His clothes were soaked now too, including his socks, which was a feeling he did not want to feel for any longer than he had to.

Miserable and dripping as he quickly rolled off his socks, he glanced up at Elder Price, who looked slightly concerned, but mostly amused. He seemed to be choking back a laugh. “Oh gosh, are you alright?”

A short glare sufficed a response.

“You look like a drowned cat.”

“I feel like one,” Conner grunted, shaking his head aggressively to dry off his hair. All he had wanted to do was jack off tonight, and now he was cold and damp and still dressed, and the very pretty object of his attractions was laughing at him. At least the cold water had helped with his hard-on.

He repeated his actions with the second handle, making sure to stay out of the way of the short burst of hot water. He could feel Kevin’s eyes on his back the entire time he screwed everything back to together, and was fighting the itch off his skin.

When he turned to leave in a flurry like a mortified maiden, he caught Kevin staring shamelessly at his chest, which had been partially revealed under his now soaked white garments. Kevin’s eyes were dark, darker than usual, and almost hungry. Gosh.

Dear Heavenly Father, I am incredibly grateful for this beautiful, beautiful temptation you have bestowed upon me. I ask thee to bless our conference so that we may end the night with hot homosexual sex. I say in the name of thy son, Jesus Christ, Amen.

“Do you want a towel?” Kevin asked, slightly apprehensive.

“Oh, yes, I’ll go grab one–”

Kevin’s hand dropped to the towel around his waist and Connor couldn’t control the squeak he let out.

“Take this one.”

He was talking slowly, carefully, like he was testing the waters and willing to turn around and tell him it was all a prank.

But his interest was clear. And slow voice meant deep voice, which delighted Connor severely.

God knows why he would want Connor McKinley, but Connor wasn’t arguing – instead, he hesitantly reached up and curled his hand around Kevin’s, the two of them untucking the towel and exposing him under the soft orange glow of the incandescent light.

Then they were kissing.

Kevin had hopped off the sink and placed one hand on the small of Connor’s back with a gentle press that made Connor’s knees weak, the other holding his neck. Connor pushed into it with a hunger. It was no doubt ten times worse than any of the imaginary scenarios Connor spent his day entertaining, but it was real, and it was Kevin, and that made it a hundred times better.

They broke apart just as Connor figured out where to put his hands, and his face felt hot in a way that only suggested he was red as a stoplight. Kevin grinned as he said, “You don’t know how many times I imagined that happening.”

An outraged gasp. “You? I have an entire porn film in my brain 24/7!”

Kevin laughed, that one laugh that made his eyes squint and his eyebrows scrunch. “God. I knew that boner had something to do with me.”

“You – yeah, sure,” Connor muttered, flushing hotter. Kevin's ego never failed to astound him, but it seemed to be working in Connor's favour currently. “Laugh it up.”

“Did my recommendation strike a chord?”

Connor swiped his shoulder. “I’ll have you know I’ve been interested in masturbation since I was old enough to think boys are pretty. I just never … acted on it.”

“Do you wanna act on it now?” Kevin breathed, eyebrows raised.

He was putting on a brave face, but Connor could tell he was nervous, deep down.

This would be a first for both of them.

But that also meant if Connor was horrible, Kevin would have no point of reference to say so.

He dragged Kevin in for another kiss, sucking on the boy’s bottom lip (he’d learned that one from his time on Google). Kevin made a soft, breathy noise, and spun them around so Connor was pressing him against the bathroom wall.

Good Christ that was something he could get behind.

He ran his hands up and down Kevin’s hips, getting a solid handful of his softer stomach, before finally doing what he had wished he could do since he first laid eyes on this god of a boy – his hands slid from Kevin’s hips to his lower back, spreading his fingers as he edged lower, then gripping a handful of Kevin’s ass.

The sound he made at that – Connor thought he might blow his load right then and there.

He ground their hips together, wet fabric against Kevin’s exposed cock, and a disgruntled Price quickly fumbled to undo his trousers and yank them down (with resistance; wet pants are a nightmare.) and pulled his garments off with them.

Connor groaned when Kevin thrust their naked cocks together.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I’ve been fantasising about this,” Kevin puffed, eyes squeezing shut in a face of pure bliss as they moved together. “You’re like an angel.”

Me?”

“God, yes. Every time I look in your eyes I think ‘that must be what the sky looks like in Heaven’.”

“Oh,” Connor said, voice wobbly. “Really?”

Kevin nodded, and - without warning - dropped to his knees. He placed wet kisses on Connor’s stomach and hips, squeezing his love handles appreciatively in a way that quickly nipped any insecurity in the bud.

“Can I blow you?”

Connor jolted. “What?”

Kevin looked up at him. “Can I suck your dick?”

“Surely the ground isn’t very comfortable–”

Elder McKinley.”

“Yes please.”

Kevin smirked the way he always did when he was about to do something sinful, and by gosh was the slick heat of him licking at the head of Connor’s dick sinful. Kevin had always had a quick mouth, but he was really showing his skillset now.

Connor had to reach out and balance himself with one arm against the wall, while placing the other in Kevin’s hair. “Oh gosh, oh gosh,” he was babbling. “Oh dear Heavenly Father.”

This was not in any of the pictures he saw on Google.

“Kevin. Oh, please.”

Kevin hummed, and Connor’s knees buckled, so quick hands came up to grip onto his hips and hold him steady. Kevin was taking him deeper now, soaking his dick with saliva in a way that Connor would find somewhat disgusting later, but only made him want to thrust deeper into that hot mouth. Kevin looked equally blissed out. His eyes were squeezed shut like he was mid-prayer, clutching onto Connor’s hips like a lifeline. He was making noises around his cock that didn’t make any sense, but sounded fairly appreciative.

Losing himself in the sensations already, Connor’s hand gripped onto Kevin’s hair and used it as leverage to thrust deeper into the back of his mouth – which quickly made Kevin splutter and pull off.

“Oh, gosh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean–”

Kevin shook his head, clearing his throat. “It’s alright. Too much, though.” Instead, he placed a hand on the base of Connor’s dick and sucked on the rest, squeezing him tight.

“Oh, Lord, that’s even better, Christ.”

Kevin pulled off again, and before Connor could worry about what he’d done this time, Kevin said, “You’re taking the Lord’s name in vain an awful lot tonight.”

“Shut up.”

Price shrugged and got back to work. It took an embarrassingly short time for Connor to reach his peak, gently tugging on Kevin’s hair and whispering a string of thoughtless compliments that made Kevin shake where he sat.

He came with a heavy huff of breath, forgetting any sensibility and not warning Kevin, lightly thrusting his hips through the overpowering pleasure, as Kevin hummed an exclamation and sucked him dry. Kevin pulled off and quickly gasped for breath as Connor reckoned with the fact that his life would never be the same after this moment.

“Ow!” Connor yelped as Kevin pinched him on the thigh, making direct eye contact. “Wh–”

Kevin opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue, flattening it and flaunting Connor’s come, mixed in with his saliva. He made a show of closing his mouth and swallowing it.

“Oh dear Lord.”

“And there you go again.”

Connor practically collapsed onto the ground in front of Kevin, staring at him wordlessly before leaning in for soft kiss.

“Thank you,” he whispered when he pulled away. “For, um, that.”

Dark eyes shone back at him, accompanied by a pleased grin. “You’re welcome.”

“You’re really good at that.”

Kevin’s eyelashes fluttered. “Yeah?”

Connor leaned in to kiss his neck, which was now sweaty with exertion. “Yeah.” His hand slid down Kevin’s torso and hovered over his dick and pretended this wasn’t a dream come true. “Can I?”

“Fuck yeah.” Kevin pulled him back into his neck, where Connor licked up his sweat and wrapped his hand around Kevin’s cock. Kevin took even shorter to come, burying his face in Connor’s shoulder and begging for praise – which Connor was in no position to deny.

“So good, so good for me,” he murmured as Kevin thrust into his hand, spilling with a not-so-quiet gasp when Connor said, “Good boy.”

They sat together, hugged by the heat and scent of sex, both of them sticky with Kevin’s come. Connor began to feel everything at once: the uncomfortable bathroom floor; the heat of Kevin’s sweaty body pressed against his; the tickling sensations of guilt and shame – but he shook it off. If Kevin could disavow the Church’s teachings so easily, then so could Connor. He would much rather spend his latter days in Hell if it meant getting to see the squinty smile Kevin gave him when he leaned in for one more kiss.

“Do you want to shower together?” Kevin asked, standing up on wobbly legs and pulling Connor up with him.

Connor stared at him. “That shower can barely fit one person, let alone two.”

“I know, I was being optimistic. Do you want to sit and look pretty while I shower?”

“I can’t promise pretty but I am sitting,” Connor sighed, dropping back onto the floor and slumping against the wall.

Kevin tutted. “That was a trick question, you’re always pretty.”

Connor flushed, and stared unashamed at Kevin’s butt as he stepped into the shower. The floor gave him a pretty good angle.

Kevin turned the water on, before shooting Connor a look. “I did that because I like you. Just so you know. I’m not going around having sex with everyone.”

Connor laughed. “I would hope not.” Then the reality of his words sank in, despite the fact that they’d been eating each other’s faces off for the past half hour. “You like me?”

“Duh,” Kevin snorted, and Connor was momentarily very distracted by Kevin’s hands running over his own body.

“Oh. Gosh, well, I like you too. A lot. If that wasn’t clear.”

Then, ouch, he was temporarily blinded by Kevin’s smile. “Isn’t that lucky.”

“I think we did this in the wrong order.”

“Mm,” Kevin hummed. “Sex before we even confessed. Though we could always just go on a date and then have sex again?”

Yes. Definitely. One hundred percent.

“I think that’s a good idea.”

Another blinding smile. “Isn’t letting go of the Church just so freeing? I never realised how suffocated I was when I was following all their rules. It’s like letting go of a weight on your shoulders you couldn’t even see.”

As much as the little voice in his head that sounded an awful lot like his father told him he was damned, Connor had to agree. Like a frog in a pot, the Church had practically squeezed the life out of him without him even noticing. He'd never known anything better, so who was he to say that his life was horrible, when he had all he could ever want in the form of rigorous routine and rules galore. Though, admittedly, despite his disconnection from the Church, his faith in Heavenly Father hadn’t been entirely broken – as much as he was beginning to doubt the scripture, he wasn’t yet a proper atheist like Kevin. And they hadn’t been struck down by lightning yet, so he had to assume that maybe He was a little more accepting than previously thought.

“Connor?” Kevin said over the rush of the shower.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted to be boyfriends.”

Connor’s giddy heart squealed at the word, and he very quickly found himself on his feet with his arms around Kevin’s neck, kissing him like crazy. He didn't even care that he was getting wet again.

Boyfriends.

 

***

 

The next morning each elder filed out of their rooms with wary glances towards Connor – who always aimed to be the first awake and was sat on the couch with a cup of tea and a sudoku book – as they made their breakfast.

It wasn’t until Kevin emerged, hair mussed with sleep, and slumped onto the couch beside Connor, that he realised why the other elders were looking at him so strangely. It seemed not everyone was asleep during their little … escapade, last night – aside from a completely oblivious Arnold, who left his room and immediately cuddled up next to Kevin (Connor would have to come to terms with the fact that his boyfriend – boyfriend – came as a package deal).

Eventually Elder Neeley decided to be the one to speak up, “Can you guys please at least wait until you’re alone next time?”

 

 

Notes:

while this technically isn't the first fic I've ever written, it is the first I've posted! which is exciting! I hope all 7 book of mormon fans enjoyed this

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