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They sit together (but well enough apart) on a dusty plateau, high above the wreckage they’d made and miles away from any other living person on the planet. A gentle breeze allows the sweat on their faces to cool.
“Did it hurt for you, too?”
Vegeta flinches at the question itself - well aware of its meaning, despite having been given only vaguest contours. “I don’t know what you’re asking,” he says anyway. “Be more specific.”
“When you broke for the first time," Goku breathes, settling his hands in his lap, "and your body transformed without you. It hurt for me.”
“What a strange way to describe it…”
“Didn’t you feel like something snapped inside of you?”
“It was more like a levee that couldn’t hold any longer.”
“So a sort of break.”
“I guess,” Vegeta huffs. “What’s got you dredging up ancient history?”
“It wasn’t that long ago. I’m just feeling a little nostalgic. It felt amazing when I… broke through!” Goku snaps his fingers and smiles. “That’s more what I mean. Breaking through, not just breaking.”
“I feel like you may have meant exactly what you said in the first place.”
“What do you mean?”
“What did you mean? You said your body transformed without you.”
“Huh? Oh. I guess I don’t know what I mean. I’m pretty hungry now, though, so maybe I’m not thinking clearly.”
“…Right.”
“You didn’t really answer me, by the way.”
“What?”
“Did it hurt when you first transformed?”
“I… can’t remember. No, I don’t think it did.”
“You’re such a liar! I can tell you’re lying. It’s okay to admit that you feel pain, Vegeta.”
“I can’t remember if it hurt, or how much it hurt, or whatever. That sort of thing doesn’t matter. It passes.”
“I felt like I was being swallowed by uncontrollable flames. My skin was burning off,” Goku says solemnly, rolling a pebble against the ground with his fingers. “I guess the circumstances matter. I was fighting Frieza, after all - I’d already taken a pretty awful beating.”
“I… guess I had that happen, too. Sort of. It felt like my blood was turning to steam in my veins.”
“ I think it’s funny how you did it.”
“What’s funny about it?” Vegeta stiffens.
“Well, for me… it had to happen. I don’t know for Trunks - er… the first Trunks we met, anyway, because I wasn’t there, but I think he said he was taught.”
“Your son taught him, didn’t he? Your older son, obviously.”
“That sounds right.”
“So what’s funny?”
“It’s not really even funny, it’s just so you it sounds made up. From how I’ve heard you talk about it, it seems like you got so frustrated about not having done it yet that you just… did it, with no particular threat at hand serving as a trigger. That’s way more impressive than my reflexive transformation, really.”
“I still don’t know what pushed me over the edge. You said it was the same for you. It wasn't difficult, it just happened. It didn't hurt.”
“You’re lying again! You need to learn to be a little more humble. It’ll make people like you better.”
“I'm not lying. What does it matter to you?”
“You’re a bit like a gate that’s rusted shut.”
“Leave me alone.”
Goku gives a good-natured smile and stands. He spots a patch of earth in the path of the setting sun. “Find me when you get bored of sulking,” he says, limbering up a bit before setting off in the vague direction. His sparring partner follows immediately, unwilling to grant even a moment’s head start, but it’s easy enough for Goku to shake him. He looks back and gives a smirk before vanishing.
“…I’ll be damned,” Vegeta breathes. “You actually left me alone.”
—
Like a gate that’s rusted shut.
As he scans for his counterpart, the words echo in his mind. Soon enough, he spots Goku kneeling by a fledgeling campfire at the edge of a forest, and makes his way quickly towards him. He surprises him a little by landing rather gently in a patch of grass now cloaked in the evening shadows of the canopy above.
“Hey! Didn’t take you long, did it?”
“Are you setting up camp?”
“Yeah, I guess. You wanna go find something I can cook?”
“What? Do it yourself.”
“I’m getting a fire started. You wouldn’t want to be the one standing here poking kindling with a stick, would you?”
“Fine, whatever. I’ll be back.”
Goku nods, and Vegeta sets off again. The younger Saiyan hums a tune and pokes at the fire, watching it flicker and twist as his stomach growls. He feels plenty of simple comfort in moments like this, and finds himself reminiscing fondly about days long gone. He swears he feels a twitch at the end of his phantom tail as he recalls having dipped it in shimmering lakes to tease fish on nights just like this one.
He stands and begins to set up a simple spit over the flames. Well-practiced in basic survivalism by now, it does not take him long at all to assemble the materials and define the structure. The earth around the fire pit has grown warm to the touch, and he gives a contented sigh as he closes his eyes and rests his back against it. He pretends to sense neither the footsteps approaching nor the scent of freshwater.
“Are you asleep?”
Goku opens his eyes and beams. “It’s taller than you! Probably heavier, too.”
“Ha-ha.”
“Give it here,” he says, moving to stand. “I’ll get it going. Good work, thank you.”
“Good work?” Vegeta bristles, his face twisting into a scowl. “Did you expect me to come back with nothing at all?”
“You’re so funny! I knew you could handle it. I’m just trying to be friendly.”
“Then don’t be so patronizing,” he spits. “Good work. Like I’m a student, or one of your incompetent friends…!”
“Jeeze, calm down! You didn’t get much positive reinforcement as a kid, did you…?”
Vegeta snarls and looks away, tossing the fish at Goku’s feet. “That’s none of your business. Psychoanalyzing me…”
“Psycho-huh? I’m not psycho-anything. It just seems like the idea of anyone being nice to you is still pretty novel. I didn’t mean any offense,” he says calmly, picking the fish up from the ground, dusting it off, and situating it above the fire. “It’s pretty easy to see, and it’s a shame. Makes me kinda sad. I can’t imagine how I’d have turned out without some compassion from time to…”
“Spare me your pity,” Vegeta says venomously. The blades of grass at their feet begin to flicker, and Goku’s eyes widen as he senses a sudden spike in energy. The force emanating from the Saiyan prince causes the rudimentary cooking equipment to fall to the ground almost immediately, the wooden pieces thrown askew.
“Stop it!“ Goku shouts, scrambling to catch the fish. “Look what you did, you knocked over the spit…” He frowns and moves to prop it back up. “Guess I’m just glad this isn’t too hot yet. I’d have burned my hands trying to save it from the fire.”
“Idiot.”
“I’m cooking you dinner! Have some manners! What kind of a prince were you supposed to be, anyway? I thought royal-types were supposed to act all… proper. You’re anything but.”
Vegeta makes no reply and crosses his arms against his chest, which rises and falls along with his ragged breath. He finds his center, and exhales deeply.
…….
They stand quietly around the fire for a while, and once again, Goku takes up the burden of breaking the silence.
“It stopped hurting after a while, but it took a few tries.”
“Yeah.”
“And it’s not like I can talk about it with anyone, really… I’m supposed to be bulletproof. You know what I mean.”
“…Yeah.”
“So I guess I just wanted to bring it up earlier, because you’d understand.”
“Look. Don’t… talk to me like this. It’s uncomfortable.”
“Hah. It’s just like I said.”
”What?”
”You’re a gate that’s rusted shut!”
“How so?!”
“Nobody bothered to open you for too long, so now whenever anyone tries…”
“Open me. What the hell are you talking about?”
“I thought it was pretty straightforward!”
“You don’t know anything about my life before I met you. Stop messing with my head!”
“I’m just trying to…”
“Trying to what, Kakarrot? Make me feel like I’m fucking defective?“
“What? No!” Goku exclaims, falling, defeated, to lie in the grass. “I just want to get to know you better. I didn’t realize this was such a sore spot…” He covers his eyes with his hands and groans.
“It’s the same thing, too. Everything comes so naturally to you.”
There’s a sort of shocking vulnerability in this admission and, seemingly realizing it himself, the smaller Saiyan tenses up visibly.
“Hey… It’s alright. Come sit down.”
“I’ll stand,” Vegeta hisses.
“That’s fine, I guess,” Goku sighs. “Can you try to flip that? It’s almost done.”
To his own surprise as well as Goku’s, the prince does as he’s told without a fight. “There. Let me know when to take it off.”
“Uh… right,” Goku starts, bewildered by the immediacy of Vegeta’s calm. He shifts a bit awkwardly on the ground, unsure of where to look. “I want to talk to you, but I’m afraid anything I’ll say is gonna make you want to bite my head off.”
“Then don’t speak,” Vegeta says simply.
Goku stifles a laugh, then stiffens and looks away.