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The next few days Draco spends his time moping. He misses Harry like he misses a limb and even though the hurt is excruciating, Draco keeps telling himself that he’s doing the right thing. It might not feel like it for either of them now that Harry apparently loves him, which is all Draco’s fault since he was too late. He should’ve done something earlier and now he’s hurting Harry even more all because he couldn’t let go. He was clinging to Harry like a cancer that had to be cut away and now that he cut himself from Harry it feels like he’s slowly drying up, curling into himself like he’ll disappear if he tries hard enough. Everything reminds him of Harry and the misery he’s feeling festers and aches until it’s all he can think about. If he wasn’t sharing a dormitory with several others, he would stay here until he’s indistinguishable from the mattress he’s laying on, as a gross snot-teary lump. Instead his friends drag him out of bed to classes on Monday and make him eat food that he doesn’t want to eat. They don’t try to ask him what happend again, which Draco appreciates.
They tried when he came back to their room after it happend, crying and taking shallow breaths, bordering on another panic attack. Vincent was on his feet in an instant. The “What happend?” goes unanswered as Draco flings himself into Vincent’s arms. “Did you tell him?” Vincent whispers softly so only he can hear but Draco just shakes his head and tries to block out the world in Vincent’s robes. His friends are all visibly worried about him but he can’t pretend that his world isn’t falling apart right now. That no matter how much it hurts, he’s hurting Harry as well and nothing can make that right.
Draco kind of just wants to run away from everything, go to the Manor so he can curl up into a ball on his bed, burrowed in his duvet and hiding behind his thick black-out curtains. Maybe only to resurface when everything’s all been done with. Though that’s obviously impossible. He would miss a lot of schoolwork for one and secondly his parents would never leave him alone if he suddenly took a break from school in the middle of the year without an explanation. So instead of escaping Hogwarts, Draco stays and tries to pretend that everything’s okay. Pretends that he didn’t die inside by sort-of-not-really breaking up with Harry.
Each time he shares a class with Harry, sees him in the Great Hall eating dinner or crosses paths with him in one of the many corridors of Hogwarts, Draco freezes and closes his eyes, shutting out his reality like not seeing might make reality different. It doesn’t, so he looks down and away from Harry until so much time passes that Harry’s moved on. Internally he’s screaming at himself to move. To take a step forward, to look up, to run to Harry and apologise. He knows he can’t though. He’s doing this for Harry. Harry deserves not to be shackled to Draco. He deserves to be in a relationship with someone he can trust. Not some liar like Draco. Someone who’s won’t betray him simply out of selfishness.
Time passes slowly and painfully until it’s finally June and time for the Third Task. Just a little while until Draco can stop pretending to be okay. He can fall apart after Harry’s done batteling Voldemort and returns victorious. Until then he’ll be fine so Harry doesn’t worry about him. He blinks to focus his attention back to his surrounding and avoids Vincent’s worried gaze from besides him.
The excited energy in the Quidditch stands should be invigorating if looking at all of the smiling people everywhere but for Draco it just worsens his now almost constant thrum of anxiety. The chattering and various voices shouting louder each time to be heard, are penetrating his head, worsening his headache while the music makes his stomach churn simultaneously. Voldemort is waiting right on the other side of the Triwizard Cup and Draco knows that Harry is the best choice to battle him but that doesn’t make it okay. That doesn’t make him stop worrying about Harry and wishing there was something Draco could do, anything he could do instead of sitting here stock still in this writhing mass of excitement, all the while feeling like he’s standing at the edge of a cliff.
The cannon goes off and Harry shoots off into the maze just as fast. One by one the champions take off into the maze until they’re all inside while the audience collectively holds their breath, waiting for the first thing to happen. Magical sparks and coloured lights fly up from inside the maze which means that the first champion has encountered danger. The broadcaster keeps up a constant stream of chatter, talking about the maze changing constantly, vines trying to pull the champions underneath the damp earth and throwing out facts on all the possible creatures the champions could encounter. Draco barely hears any of it as he’s focusing on the maze as though he can see through the foliage and thick fog. He can’t but he also can’t make himself stop looking for Harry. Every time he sees magic in some part of the maze he hopes it’s not him and if it is, that he’s winning. At the same time he hopes that something would knock Harry out cold and then leave him somewhere safe so that he doesn’t make it to the Cup to battle Voldemort.
After a few hours most of the audience has clearly lost it’s nervousness and is chattering, speculating and even making bets about what could be happening in the maze and which champion will be victorious. Friends and family of the champions are a bit more on edge and Draco feels like he’s vibrating out of his seat. He’s still waiting for the confrontation but he can’t do anything, isn’t allowed to storm into the maze and follow Harry to do something, anything, even if it’s throwing himself bodily in between Voldemort and Harry. That said, he might just freeze at the sight of Voldemort like the coward he is and becomes a liability to Harry when he should be focused on staying alive.
Red sparks fly up into the air and Draco’s heart stops. Is it Harry? Is he injured? Is- A house elf apparates with an injured, barely-conscious Krum and Draco breathes a sigh of relief before tensing again. Krum being here means nothing. It means that Harry could either be completely fine or so much worse but there is still no way of knowing. Healers and Mediwizards rush forward to treat Krum and after a while the audience is reassured of his recovery and goes back to chattering. The same thing happens to Fleur so it’s only Diggory and Harry left, just like last time, until suddenly they appear in the clearing at the entrance of the maze, holding the Cup. Harry’s dirty and bloody and looks ready to continue fighting but he’s alive and Draco’s on his feet and running down the stands in an instant. He dodges people trying to do the same until he’s right in front of Harry, holding his face in Draco’s hands and peering into startled green eyes. “Are you okay?” He asks, checking Harry’s wounds but they all seem to be on the surface of his skin. “Are you hurt?” He asks again while a dazed Harry slowly shakes his head no, adrenaline leaving his body. “Is he back?” Draco almost whispers because he doesn’t really want to know the answer but at the same time he has to know.
The question seems to snap Harry back into reality and he grips Draco’s biceps and squeezes. “No.” He says and gently lays his forehead against Draco’s. “We’re okay.” He suddenly pulls back and his eyebrows knit together. “At least I think so, nothing happend.” “Nothing? What do you mean?” Draco asks, confusion mirroring Harry’s. “I mean that one second I was trying to shove Cedric out of the way to reach the cup first and to protect him but the next we’re here. It didn’t take us to the graveyard.” He whispers before lifting his right hand, still holding the Cup and they both stare at it like it’s going to take Harry away at any time. Harry drops it on the ground and they both breathe a sigh of relief when it just hits the ground and nothing happens. “You’re okay and Cedric-” Draco looks down, expecting Diggory’s corpse but instead he has to adjust his gaze until he sees a smiling, elated, alive boy looking back at them. “We did it! We’ve won Harry!” He says, wrapping an arm around Harry’s shoulders. Harry, still confused but mouth turning up into a smile says: “Yeah I guess we did.” Which earns him a hair ruffle from Diggory and a sly smirk before he says on a low volume: “I’ll leave you two lovebird to celebrate.” With a wink and suddenly reality crashes down around Draco. He’s standing in the middle of a clearing, in the middle of thousands pairs of eyes all looking at them, holding Harry’s hand like he’s his boyfriend when he should be so far away from him. A blush involuntarily creeps up on his face and he feels his eyes widen as he looks into Harry’s equally shocked ones. Fuck.
Also, his brain helpfully reminds him, he just blurted out that he knew about Harry’s confrontation with Voldemort which implies that he knows the future which Harry clearly hasn’t realised yet. Probably because they just outed themselves in front of the entire wizarding community. He feels his hands start to shake and his breath is getting more shallow each time he tries to get in more oxygen and he also might pass out if he doesn’t get out of here right now. He starts making his way through the crowd to get away and he’s trying not to make eye-contact with anyone while pushing his way through. Eventually the crowd thins and he can breathe more easily, move more readily so he just starts running. No destination in mind, just away from here.
Draco stops running and catches his breath by leaning on some big tree, supporting his head with his arm. He fucked up so badly. Not only did he out himself and Harry so that Voldemort and his followers know exactly who to hurt to get to the other, he also indirectly told Harry that he’s from the future and as soon as Harry recognises that, he’ll never want to see Draco again. “Fuck, fuck, Fuck!” He shouts into the tree bark in front of him. “You can say that again.” Someone says casually from behind him and Draco whirls around, almost smacking his arm against Harry’s face from where he’s standing so close behind him. “What-? How-? What are you doing here?” Draco manages to ask and Harry holds up their still intertwined hands in answer. Draco tries to let go but Harry just tightens his grip on Draco’s hand. “I’m not letting you go again.” He says and Draco wants to cry because he still hasn’t realised.
Suddenly the words spill from his lips like a waterfall that can’t be contained any longer. “Didn’t you hear what I said?” He asks while Harry’s brows knit together in confusion. “Hear what?” “About Voldemort.” Draco continues barely audible and he closes his eyes so he can’t watch Harry’s reaction to the words. “What are you talking about Draco, we’re okay, he’s-” Harry stops but Draco just squeezes his eyes closed tighter, waiting for the blade to fall. “Well who knows where he is or what he’s planning but for now we’re okay.” Harry finishes and squeezes Draco’s hand again. “Open your eyes for me sweetheart?” He says as he softly traces Draco’s cheekbone with his thumb. Draco feels tears gather behind his closed eyelids at the pet name and opens his eyes, making the tears spill over and roll down his cheeks. “Why are you this upset baby? I’m okay, Cedric’s okay, the wizarding world might know we’re dating now but we’ll deal with it. Together.” How has he not understood? “Darling how are you this thick?” Draco says on a laugh that’s bordering on a sob. The pet name slipping out as if it knows it’s his last chance to say it. “Talk to me.” Harry says with a confused expression, looking into Draco’s eyes.
“I’m from the future.” Draco finally manages to blurt out as tears fill his vision to block Harry’s disgust and his knees buckle so he can slide down the tree bark onto the ground. It’s like his body knows that saying those four words took all of his energy. Harry let go of his hand and Draco feels him pull away, not just physically but emotionally because now Harry’s realising all of the things that Draco has done in the future and he isn’t the Draco that Harry fell in love with, just a pretender. Draco sobs at the loss when Harry suddenly drops down to the ground as well and pulls Draco into a hug. “It’s okay sweetheart. It’s okay.” Harry keeps saying as he’s rubbing Draco’s back. “I had no idea this is what you were worried about or I would’ve said something sooner and I’m so sorry I didn’t. I know Draco. I know that you’re from the future.” Harry rambles and all of Draco’s thought screeches to a halt. “What?” Comes out of his mouth as he tries to detach himself from Harry’s grip. Harry’s smiling at him through tears of his own and Draco’s never been more confused in his entire life. Harry knows? And he’s still smiling and comforting Draco? Why? “Have you been Imperio’d?” Draco asks in genuine confusion while Harry just laughs. “No you idiot, I love you.” No he doesn’t mean that. “I love you, Draco.” Harry says again. “Why?” It appears that his brain and mouth are on the same page for once.
“I fell in love with the person you’ve become despite all of the things that happend, all the things you’ve been through. I love the person you are now.” “The person I am now is an illusion, a fake, a liar.” “Draco no, you’re a good person. You changed your beliefs and acted on them.” Harry says, still tracing his thumb up and down Draco’s cheekbone, wiping away the tears that fall. “I’m in awe of the way you continue to help the people around you even though you’ve struggled through a war, a psychopath living at your house and so much more. Instead of giving up you rose from the ashes like a phoenix and you adjusted so well to being thrown into the past that it makes me want to do better as well.” “What?” That can’t be true.
“No, you can’t seriously believe that Harry. I killed Dumbledore, Severus, Vincent!” The tears fall too quickly for Harry to wipe them away now. “Greg wouldn’t talk anymore, my parents were husks of the people they were before.” Draco takes a shaky breath. “I delivered you to Voldemort on a silver platter, I became a Death Eater for fuck sake. How could you love me?” Draco shouts in desperation. Why doesn’t Harry understand? He can’t love Draco, nobody can. “Draco first of all that wasn’t your fault and second of all, you’re not that person anymore.” “I’ve said so many bad things Harry, done so many bad things…” “So have I.” Draco looks up in shock. “I tortured you on the floor of a bloody fucking bathroom remember? I’ve made mistakes, I’ve gotten people killed.” The anger melts off his face as Harry trails off before refocusing on Draco’s face with determination. “Does that make me a bad person?” “No, of course not. You had no idea what that spell would do to me or that those people were going to die. You did the best you could.” Harry looks triumphant at Draco’s words and he knows what he’s going to say before Harry even opens his mouth. “See? You did the best you could with the circumstances you had Draco. Yes you’ve made mistakes and done things wrong but so have I. You’re a good person now and that’s who I fell in love with. That’s not just pretending, that’s who you are.”
He takes a moment to let the words sink in. “I want to believe you.” Draco eventually says, wiping the snot and tears on his robe sleeve in an abysmal gesture to worry about later. “We’ll work on it.” Harry says, cupping his face again and kissing Draco’s forehead. They settle underneath the tree side by side and stare out into the forest surrounding them and just breathe together. “What happens now?” Draco asks softly and Harry shrugs. “We’ll figure it out together.” “I’d like that.” Draco answers as he intertwines their fingers again. “I love you too, by the way.” He looks up into Harry’s pretty green eyes as he says it and sees a beautiful smile take over Harry’s surprised face. “Idiot.” Harry says but the insult doesn’t sting since Harry’s still grinning like a loon. Draco rolls his eyes to hide his own smile. “You love me.” He says before cupping Harry’s cheek and bringing their faces closer together so that he can kiss Harry senseless, conveniently preventing another retort.