Chapter Text
Prologue
Over the commotion of everyone else in the courtyard, his low voice called to me. He had always anchored me, brought me back to earth. I shook my head vehemently, but he was instantly by my side, his hands cradling my tear-stained face. I saw the flicker of recognition. He knew it was me.
"You don't have to be Clarke, if you don't want to," he said softly, his brow creased in confusion.
"I'm not," I whispered, my voice breaking in unison with my heart. "I'm not her."
It didn’t really matter though. Even without Cage’s order to tell him who I was, without my mouth betraying me, spilling the words I tried to hold back, he already knew. And even worse, he defended me to Cage despite my lies.
"Ask her then, why she is here, unmarried and obviously living in squalor, dressed like a common maiden," Cage snarled, baiting him.
He turned to me, his brown eyes wide. "You're not married?” He asked. “Why did you lie to me?"
"Please don't make me answer that question," I begged, anticipating what words would follow, and the piercing pain in my head and my chest that would make me want to destroy the thing I treasured most.
He frowned, more confused with every exchange, "I’d never make you do something you don’t want to, you know that.”
There had been so many things in my life that I hadn't wanted to do. I became the person I needed to be to survive. But if I did what Cage had ordered me to do, it wouldn't be survival anymore. Killing the man I loved would kill me too.
The rest of them stood and watched our strange display. Only half understood my babbling and nobody realized Cage's end game. Nobody saw the dagger that he had placed in my left hand.
I could do this. I could push him away again, this time for good. Forever.
"If you value your life," I said coldly, "you'll leave without any more questions, Bellamy." My voice broke again at his name.
His knights stepped in, suggested they should heed my request. He only shook them off. I begged them to leave. Cage spewed out more orders.
"Clarke, even if that letter was a farce, did you never love me? Tell me, did you love me?"
An order. I obediently replied.
"I did," I whispered. "I do."