Chapter Text
Chapter 1: Welcome Back.
“So…”
“So what?” Clarke asks, raising an eyebrow questioningly.
“Are you ready to go back to Polis? Back to where it all began?”
Clarke sighs, taking a seat at the foot of her bed. She lowers her head, giving herself a minute to really think about the question, her gaze dropping to her hands settled in her lap.
Is she ready to go back home? Can she still call it home when she’s been away for more than five years? Is she prepared for the possible changes that may have occurred while she’s been away? Would those she left behind even remember her? Would she remember her? Forgive her?
For a little over five years,
‘Five years, seven months, two days and 5 hours to be exact, minutes, seconds and milliseconds don’t matter,’ Clarke thinks to herself, she has been away from her hometown. She spent the time finishing her medical degree at one of the best Universities in the country, before making a name for herself, as one of the best, sort after, Medical Examiners at The Ark Police Department. It’s been more than five years since she’s been home. Since she’s seen her parents. Since she’s seen her friends. Since she’s seen her.
‘Do I even have the right to consider them my friends? Not once did I make the effort to write or call any of them…especially her.’
Clarke bites her bottom lip as she allows her mind to briefly drift towards her. She remembers the bright smile that seems to light up the room when she’s happy. She remembers the way her hair falls down the middle of her back in loose curls. The way she scrunches her face just so when she’s deep in thought or concentrating. The blonde shakes her head, putting an end to her thoughts, her head finally lifting to meet the worried gaze of her best friend of five years.
“Honestly O? I really don’t know,” Clarke, replies as her shoulders drop in defeat before falling back onto her bed, a light ‘whoosh’ is heard as her body hits the mattress beneath her. The blonde, is staring at the ceiling she’s spent the last couple of years in, wondering whether she’s making the right decision or not. She feels the bed move as Octavia plops down right next to her.
“Look Clarke, I’m pretty sure if you call Jaha right now, he’ll be more than happy to give you your old job back. You know that I’ll support whatever decision you’re going to make Princess. However, it has been years since you’ve been back home and shit. I’ve put up with enough of your bitching and moaning about not seeing your parents to know that you really miss them. I’m sure both of them are dying to you. Besides, don’t you wanna go show off your mad skills? You’re the best Medical Examiner out there and it sounds like your hometown is desperate. You need to let them know that the Griff is going to be the best they’ll ever have,” Octavia says not bothering to look at Clarke.
“What if I’m making a mistake? That going back home is going to make me realise that I left a perfectly good life here, to end up throwing it all away? I feel like people aren’t going to be welcoming me home with open arms. Fuck, even my parents might not even want me there. They didn’t even visit me up here when I sent them those plane tickets for my graduation,” the blonde replies, closing her eyes. There’s a slight tightness in her chest as her mind wanders to her parents. To her hometown and the people she grew up with before her thoughts move to uncharted territory. To those piercing green eyes that have been etched into her memory. The same green eyes that conveyed so much emotion, so much hurt, so much pain. The same green eyes she had walked away from without turning back, all those years ago.
“Is it the people you’re afraid of? Or someone? Don’t you think that maybe it’s time you two kiss and made up? If not, at least have some angry make-up sex, it might make you less bitchy, Lord knows it’s been a while,” Octavia states simply, her voice interrupting Clarke’s train of thought. The brunette knows about her history. About her story and why she left Polis. Of course she can see past Clarke and her bullshit excuses.
“Octavia! You know it’s not like that!” Clarke scolds, slapping her friend lightly on the arm. Octavia simply rolls her eyes before continuing.
“Whatever Princess, besides, your parents love you Clarke, even if they didn’t come visit you, I know for a fact that they’re proud of what you’ve accomplished. Moving back home and taking this job is going to give you the opportunity to ask your parents that question in person. That way they won’t chicken shit out and hang up on you. Also, don’t you think your parents deserve to meet me? I mean, I’m fucking awesome Clarke and the fact that you have yet to take me to visit them wounds me,” Octavia says propping herself up on her right arm so she can look down at the blonde.
“Ugh. You’re so dramatic sometimes,” Clarke says, looking up at her friend, a small grin tugging at the corner of her lips.
“And so fucking full of yourself,” she adds sitting up. This earns her a punch on the arm from Octavia, causing her to chuckle before standing and making her way over to her closet. She eyes the open suitcase lying on the floor next to her bed.
“I guess you’re right, O. It has been years and I do miss home. Besides, how can I deny Polis my mad skills?” she says turning back to her closet, grabbing an armful of clothes and throwing them on the bed.
“And you say I’m the one that’s full of themselves? You’re such a hypocrite Griffin,” Octavia says a grin playing on her lips.
“Oh shut up and help me pack! I still can’t believe you’re coming with me. Maybe I should retract my offer. I’m surprised they even allowed you to transfer jobs,” Clarke teases, throwing a pair of pants at Octavia.
“Please. You wouldn’t be able to survive without me and if this is your way of telling me that you want me to get into your pants, I don’t want it,” the brunette says tossing the item onto the growing pile of clothes on the bed. Clarke smiles at her friend’s antics, shaking her head, wondering for the umpteenth time how she managed to get so lucky with a friend like Octavia.
“In your dreams Blake.”
Slamming the door to her Chief’s office, Lexa makes her way to her desk, throwing her empty coffee cup into the trash angrily. This causes a few heads to turn in her direction as she throws herself into her desk chair.
“Fucking son-of-a-bitch!” she hisses, falling back into her chair, pinching the bridge of her nose. She can feel a headache starting as she clenches her jaw, wanting more than anything to punch something…or someone.
“Something wrong?” A voice to the left of her asks.
“Fuck off Anya, you know exactly what happened. Don’t act like you didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?!” the brunette says turning her head to glare at her partner.
“You let your personal problems get into this case Lexa. Chief and I both agree that you need to step back and let someone else take the reigns on this one.”
“Seriously?! We’re the best he has and you know it!” Lexa hisses back. She has a feeling this has something to do with the night she almost lost it after seeing a blonde victim that reminded her too much of a certain blonde that she tried so hard to forget. That she thought had forgotten about.
“Don’t you think I know that? But this case is getting to you. You haven’t slept in two days and that’s not healthy. I may be your partner now but I’ll forever be your mentor and I say you need to go home and rest.”
“You should have consulted me first! I’m your fucking partner! I don’t even have any issues with this case. I was getting close to solving it.”
Deep down, Lexa knows this is a lie and so does Anya. They spent three weeks on the case and they had been going somewhere until the events of what happened two nights ago hit too close to home with Lexa. It didn’t help that the victim, about the same age as her, reminded the brunette of a past, which she’s spent years trying to bury.
‘Why is it still so hard after all these years? Why is it that the walls I’ve built so solidly around my heart chip away at the mere thought of her? Of anything that reminds me of her?’ Lexa thinks to herself.
‘Oh I don’t know, maybe because you know you can’t? Dammit Woods, you’re still kicking it with her parents for God’s sake!’
The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupts the debate Lexa’s having with herself. She almost groans, remembering that she’s in a conversation with Anya.
“Tell me right now that you’ll have no problem looking over the body that’s lying on that autopsy table downstairs. If we were to go down to Nyko’s right now, would you be able to listen to his findings? If she has blue eyes, would you not falter?” the blonde says rising from her chair and making her way over to Lexa’s desk. She props herself on the edge of Lexa’s desk, her eyes challenging the brunette to give her an answer.
Lexa knows she’s been back into a corner. Anya knew how to do that and it irked her at times. She hates feeling vulnerable and she hates that Anya knows which buttons to press. She also knows that Anya’s right and it pisses her off even more. Being one to never back down from a challenge, the brunette narrows her eyes.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t you think I know that she’s not her? It was just a momentary lapse in judgement that night. It won’t happen again,” she says pushing her chair back and standing abruptly.
“Then you’ll have no problem having someone else take the case. Ryder and Luna will do just fine. I’m taking you out drinking later on tonight since it’s Nyko’s last night and we need to celebrate. The new M.E. starts Monday and if we don’t have any bodies turn up this weekend, we’ll have a free weekend. Now go grab your shit and let’s go,” her partner says already moving towards her desk to grab her things.
“Fine,” Lexa huffs snatching her duffle bag from where she had thrown it unceremoniously under her desk earlier. “But you’re buy me my first drink. I’m going to the gym.”
Lexa doesn’t miss Anya’s eye roll as she passes the blonde.
“I saw that!” she yells over her shoulder as she makes a hasty exit. Just as she reaches the elevator, her phone chimes in the back pocket of her jeans.
“Woods,” she says not bothering to check on who’s calling.
“What’s up your ass?”
“Reyes, always a pleasure,” Lexa replies rolling her eyes at her best friend as she steps into the elevator.
“Anya told me you’re going to the gym, rough morning?”
Of course Anya’s already told her. Sometimes Lexa wishes cell phones had never been invented. Nothing seems to be a secret anymore. She loves Anya and Raven but sometimes, a girl could do with a little peace and quiet, before being hassled by her friends. Deep down she knows her friends mean well and Raven’s probably half way changed into her gym gear, ready to join her in letting out her frustrations.
“It’s fine Rae, I’m fine,” she replies as the elevator doors slide open and she exits, making her way out of the precinct, into the car park and towards her car. Tossing her duffle bag in the passenger seat, she slides into the driver seat and slips the key into the ignition.
“Sometimes I hate it when Anya pulls the ‘I’m your mentor’ card every time she wants to get the upper hand on a disagreement. I’m assuming you’re coming with me?”
“She may be your mentor, but you know you’re the Commander. Everyone can see that she gives you the reigns. It’s only when she deems it necessary, to steer that ass of yours in the right direction, that she pulls that card and yes I’m coming to the gym. Gotta have someone there to keep an eye out.”
“I don’t need a babysitter Raven and you know I hate it when you guys call me that.”
“I know that Commander, it’s why we continue to call you that, besides it’s not you that I’m keeping an eye on, it’s the other people in the gym that I’m worried about,” the woman teases.
“Fuck you, Reyes,” Lexa says.
“I love you too Woods, I’ll see you soon.”
With a muttered ‘whatever,’ Lexa ends the call and finally starts her car. As she backs out of her parking space, she catches a glimpse of blonde hair, which quickly disappears into the passenger side of a blue Toyota Corolla with tinted windows. Lexa stops and her body goes rigid as her eyes follow the car. As it passes, she can only make out the face of the driver. Her passenger currently occupied with looking for something, her blonde hair shielding her face. Lexa’s grip on her steering wheel tightens enough for her knuckles to turn white. The sound of a horn being tooted behind her snaps her back to reality.
“Fuck!” she curses, quickly manoeuvring her car into gear and pulling out of the precinct.
‘Ugh. I’m seeing things. Maybe Anya’s right, I need a break. There’s no way that that was her. Just because she has blonde hair, doesn’t mean it’s her. It’s been more than five years. Get your shit together Woods!’
Fiddling nervously with the hem of her top, Clarke can’t help but let her eyes wander around the room. It’s been three days since she’s been in Polis and this is the first time since she’s arrived that she’s finally been out in public. Three days and she has yet to let her parents know.
‘I’ll call them after this,’ she tells herself.
The Polis police station is surprisingly quiet for a Friday morning and it still amazes her how much has changed since she’d last been there. Today’s weather isn’t the best and there is a slight chill in the air but the warmth that fills the building does little to calm Clarke’s nerves. For the hundredth time, she glances down at her watch.
“Well if it isn’t little Miss Clarke Griffin?” a voice booms, startling the blonde a little. Glancing towards the source of the voice, Clarke can’t help the smile that crosses her lips, as she recognises the giant of a man making his way toward her.
“Chief Gustus,” she finally replies, standing from her seat and wiping her sweaty palms along her jeans before making her way over to the bearded man.
“It’s great to see you again, sir,” she adds sticking out her hand for him to shake.
“Nonsense, you haven’t started yet so it’s Gustus, I haven’t seen you in years and you’re offering me a handshake?” Gustus says pushing away her offered hand and pulling the smaller woman into a tight bear hug. Clarke can’t help but melt into the man’s arms. Gustus always did give great hugs. The nervousness the blonde felt earlier melts away as she pulls back from the hug to study the man in front of her.
Five years have been good to Gustus. Apart from the longer beard, higher status, rounder belly and the new tattoo on his face, Gustus still looks like the same man that used to watch over her as she played with her best friend as a child. With a menacing physique, he could scare anyone into telling the truth, but anyone who knows the man knows that he is the worlds biggest teddy bear. Clarke finds herself feeling guilty for being away for so long.
“Sorry Gus,” the blonde says her eyes falling to the floor.
“Don’t you apologize Griffin, you did what was best for you and from what I see, you’ve really managed to do quite well for yourself, haven’t you?”
“You’ve always been way too nice to me Gus.”
“I’m not being nice Clarke, it’s the truth. Just because you’ve been away, doesn’t mean I still can’t keep an eye on you. Now come on, lets go get this paper work out of the way and have your life signed away before you decide to change your mind shall we?”
Clarke can only nod as she follows Gustus down the long hall, finally taking a right at the last door at the end of the hallway. As she enters the room, she is greeted by a handful of detectives who pause for only a second to watch them enter before continuing on with their day. Not wanting to keep Gustus waiting, she drops her head and briskly follows behind the taller man until they make it into his office.
“Please take a seat,” Gustus says gesturing to the chair opposite his desk. Papers shuffle around his desk as he rifles through his things, looking for something, while Clarke scans the room. It’s not a very large office, but it’s also not small either.
From the large windows located behind Gustus to the pristine furniture that occupy the office, everything about his office doesn’t seem to fit him. There are only a handful of paintings, which occupy his walls, and there is only one framed picture placed atop his desk near his oak wood name placard with his name engraved on it. Clarke wonders for a brief moment what the small five by seven picture frame held within its confines.
“Ah ha! Found them,” Gustus says after a few moments. Clarke watches him straighten a few papers before placing them gently in front of her. It’s her contract.
“Now Clarke, before you sign your life away, I want to be sure that you’re ready to take this job. Nyko has been our Medical Examiner here for almost 20 years and he’s one of the best but he’s retiring and I want to be sure that I picked the right person to replace him. I can’t make any promises that everyone here will be entirely welcoming to a new M.E. but I can assure you that I’ll do what I can on my end to keep everyone in line,” he says eyeing her carefully.
Clarke takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. She had a feeling this might be the case but she’s determined not to back down. Not when she’s packed up her other life in favour of returning back home, to start on a clean slate and to hopefully make amends for her past mistakes. Offering Gustus a small smile, she straightens in the chair and looks him in the eye.
“I’m sure, Gus. I didn’t just take this job for an excuse to come back home. I love my job and I love helping people. I’m good at it. I enjoyed my time at the Ark but I never felt like I genuinely belonged there.”
“I hope you know that the way we do things around here are a little…different?” Gustus says hesitantly. Clarke nods.
“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” she adds smiling. The older man seems pleased by her answer.
“Excellent. Now, if you’ll please sign on the dotted lines,” he says gesturing to the papers in front of her and handing her a pen. Clarke leans forward and takes the pen from Gus before signing her name on the bottom of the page. Once everything is signed, Gustus takes the papers and files them away in a cabinet directly behind him.
“Welcome to Polis Police Department Dr. Griffin. I’m sure it won’t take you too long to fit right in. I’ve arranged to have Lincoln show you around the precinct and to help you get settled in.”
“Linc works here now?”
“Yes, he’s an excellent officer and I’m very proud of my nephew. He’s bee—”
Three sharp knocks on the office door, followed by the sound of it opening stops Gustus mid sentence. Turning towards the door, Clarke can feel all the blood drain from her face and her fingers grow numb as her eyes land on the face of someone all too familiar.
“Chief, I was wondering if maybe I cou—”
The woman stops her midsentence as her eyes land on Clarke. For a moment no one says anything. Anya is frozen with her hand still grasping the door handle and her eyes are glued to Clarke. For that one second, Clarke almost wishes the floor would swallow her whole. As quickly as the blonde thinks that, Anya rights herself and fixes Clarke with a cold hard stare. She grits her teeth and narrows her eyes at Clarke.
“Sir, may I have a word please?” she asks with a cold edge to her voice, her eyes never leaving Clarke.
“Detective Fisher, whatever it is that you wish to discuss, you may do so in front of Dr. Griffin,” Gustus says seeming unfazed by the change of atmosphere. Clarke slinks back in her seat fighting back a groan.
‘Of all the fucking days! Just my luck! Of course Anya works here too…’
“Dr. Griffin?” Anya asks slowly, a hint of surprise barely audible in her voice. Had Clarke not been listening, she may have missed it.
“Yes. Clarke here is going to be replacing Nyko. She’s one of the b—”
“No.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said no. I don’t want her working here nor do I trust Griffin. She’ll only be here for a year and then leave.”
Although Clarke has been preparing herself for situations like this, it still hurt. Anya had been one of her friends. Or that’s what she liked think. Anya was always in the cool crowd and Clarke had always admired her. However, now, things were different. Clarke had turned her back on her old friends and she knew it was only inevitable, that she might bump into someone. She just wasn’t counting on it being today.
“Anya,” Gustus warns.
“She’s not welcome here! I will never welcome her here. She could never replace Nyko,” Anya says. Something in Clarke snaps. She sets her jaw and stands from her seat, making her way to Anya with her head held high, stopping directly in front of the other woman.
“I didn’t come here to feel welcome, Anya and I sure as hell didn’t come here to replace anyone, let alone Nyko. But I’m here to do a job, a job that I love and that I’m fucking good at. If you have a problem with that, then that’s hardly my problem,” Clarke dares through gritted teeth, her fists clenched tightly at her sides. Anya says nothing. It dawns on Clarke that at this distance, Anya could probably punch her in the face, but she’s never been one to back down from a fight.
“Ladies. This is hardly the time or place. Detective, whether you like it or not, Dr. Griffin is now a part of our department. Whatever it is that you wish to discuss, we can do so first thing Monday morning, right now, I suggest you go home,” Gustus says breaking the silence. His voice does nothing to break the tension in the room or the staring contest between the two women.
“Detective Fisher,” Gustus warns from behind them, finally breaking their eye contact. Anya lets out a growl but backs off. Clarke releases the breath she didn’t realise she’d been holding but stands alert, just in case.
“Fine,” she breathes. “You better stay out of my way Griffin. This is me being nice compared to what you’ll be receiving when Lexa finds out we’ll be working together,” Anya adds, a dangerous grin on her face, before turning on her heel and making an exit, slamming the door behind her. Clarke’s brain takes a minute to catch on to what Anya just said and when it does, she starts to panic.
‘W-what? Did she just say Lexa? Lexa works here too? Fuck! Fuck fuck fuckity fuck! What in the hell am I getting myself into?!’