Chapter Text
It is the same old morning in London
Cold wind breezes through the street accompanied with light rain. The sound of people's footsteps and chit-chat while they are trying to find shelters or get to their places and the sound of the traffic are constantly heard. London seemed like a grim place to live when it is covered with showering rain and dim atmosphere from dark grey clouds overshadowing the sun.
Brett is smoking in his room,jamming David Bowie's Quicksand with his acoustic guitar. He remembers listening to this song with his best friend,Bernard.
Actually,nobody does it better than Bernard, when it comes to playing guitar. The man can play acoustic and electric guitar like god. Brett and the rest of the band are very surprised when they first hear Bernard playing during the audition.
Brett still remembers the first time when they both meet vividly,Bernard's messy hair,his denim jacket,jean, and that thousand splendid sunshine smile too. Bernard always looks like an ordinary kind of guy ,however, serious atmosphere and passion are there when that cherry-red Gibson or another ombre acoustic guitar got pick up. At that time,Bernard is the most passionate and the best among them all. The fact that Bernard might outgrow the rest of the band pushes Brett and other members to strive harder and to be a better band. They rehearse together more and get serious with making music to form a rock band
In the early days,they mostly just perform some gigs together at the pub,playing random covers of popular songs. Bernard is very helpful with the band,running around trying to book various pubs and make sure everybody is doing alright. He is a bit bossy and dominant sometimes,but everyone,even Brett, understands that he cares a lot about the band.
Sometimes,Brett even think that Bernard got his line packed up everytime they meet since Bernard always asks him those same old questions (and,yeah,complaint too.)
"Are you alright,Brett?"
"Are you okay with what we are doing? ...Hhmm.. I mean how we play the music together."
"You seem a little bit tired.Better get some rest,eh?"
"Don't smoke too much alright? It will damage your vocal cord"
"You need to drink more water ,Brett. Your voice is cracking up in the middle of the song!"
And many many many more. It goes on and on and on. Brett even wonders whether Bernard ever get tired of asking about him and caring about other people.
Funny,when he thinks back about it,he originally thinks that Bernard is trying too hard to get along with the band. Brett thinks the new member is faking it at some point,but those warm and caring sound is oddly satisfying to him. He really does not care about Bernard being bossy as long as those words are warm and caring. It is one of the greatest feelings in the whole world to be taken care of and to be considered important by someone and Brett feels like he lacks that feeling all along. He does not feel belong for ages and it is such an oddly satisfying feeling that Bernard makes him whole again. Those words run through him like a comforting river. He yearns for more, for love and caring from Bernard.
The feeling gets even stronger when Brett's girlfriend, Justine,left him. Brett remembers that it is kind of bittersweet. He is sad,but there is also a slight relief that the tension is over. That night Bernard accompanies him to the local pub where he drinks and smokes a lot. Bernard seems concerned,but listens and tries to comfort him as usual.
Brett ends up so drunk,barely conscious about what he says or does and almost throws up every five minute. Bernard takes him home and makes sure that Brett is safely rested.
In the morning,Brett wakes up with dizziness and slight self-embarrassment. Bernard must have taken him home. He feels embarrassed to let Bernard see how childish he is. Brett just can't even control himself. He just feels like he needs to drink and it goes too far for last night. He is lying awake as hangover slightly built up ,then Bernard comes check him out.
"Brett,how are you feeling?" Bernard ,holding a glass of water,comes sit near him by the bed .
"I feel like dogshit." He looks at Bernard and smiles a little
" Here take the hangover pill. You will feel better." Bernard gives him a pill and a glass of water. Brett pops the pill into his mouth,following with the water. He clears his throat before hands the glass back.
"I will be in the living room. If you need anything,just call. Alright?" Brett nods. Bernard takes the glass back,walking straight to the door until the raspy voice of his friend interrupt his movement.
"Hey...... I...ah....thank you. And..,ah........ If I said something stupid last night,just forget it.Please"
Bernard turns around with his signature sunshine smile before heading back to the living room. Brett feels as if his heart skips a beat and it beats faster and faster. He goes back to sleep,trying to calm himself down. He knows how embarrass this is,but it is also one of the most precious feeling in the world that ,at least,someone cares about him. Despite he hates the fact that Bernard might overly protect him and treat him like a baby,Brett still loves the feeling of being protected and cared. He wishes this feeling could last forever,just wishes to wake up every morning and see that thousands sunshine smile. At this point,Brett is sure that he is falling for Bernard,hard and fast.
Later when they get closer together,it is more than word,a touch. There is a pat on the back and sometimes on the shoulder which Brett found himself wanting for more. He feels as if he is addicted to Bernard's tenderness. Everytime there is a pat whether on the back or the shoulder,Brett is left with a warmth,numbness and slightly tingling,but comforting feeling. At the end of the day,he just wishes he had more,more than just a touch.
Brett knows by heart that he is drowning himself in his own fantasy. Maybe Bernard is just being Bernard and there is no more than that,but he cannot pull himself out of that special feeling he has for Bernard. If they were in proper relationship, it would seem very unfair since it seems like Bernard is the only one who cares about him,while Brett is not doing much. He knows that he is too afraid to make any move since Bernard can get it wrong and it will all ruin their good relationship. Brett is afraid of his own feeling,but he just cannot stop falling harder for Bernard. He knows this and does not know how to stop.
He just wishes they could last forever. In this lifetime,Brett just wants to sing his heart out alongsided with Bernard jamming on guitar and keeping those beautiful blue eyes locked on Brett alone.
'Yeah....I guess that is how my ideal life will be.
To spend my time with you and music
Sing and dance to the crowd
Lose ourselves
Only you and me
Only the two of us'