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Nichols
Josh looked down at the tux, and his heart sank. He felt nauseous and wanted nothing more than to skip this whole damn function. But of course this is the one time he couldn’t. He tried calling Oliver, no answer. His heart sank lower. Logically, Wolf had something going on. Though if there was why couldn’t he talk to Josh? He thought they were past that, another thing that hurt. But Josh couldn’t help but feel some of this distance was because of what he’d said to Oliver. This was exactly why Josh avoided relationships, you open yourself up, you be vulnerable, and it bites you in the ass. Tears stung his eyes. He took a few calming breaths, he still had this ridiculous function to do with or without his…boyfriend? Were they still even together? Oliver seemed ready to leave Bronx General…Josh tried calming breaths again. He’d just have to talk to Wolf later and hope his vulnerability didn’t cost him another relationship.
He turned from Wolf’s office nearly bumping into Dr. Dang.
“Oh sorry. Hey how’s Doc Wolf? Must be hard finding out your dads not dead and all, right?”
Nichols stopped, stunned. “What?”
“You….don’t know?” She looked as shocked as he felt.
“Clearly I’m not in the loop. Must have missed the announcement. Now if you’ll excuse me.” He felt a panic attack coming on and needed to get out of this damn hospital.
Something was clearly going on with Oliver, Josh just wasn’t…well wasn’t something. Did he not trust him? Did he think Josh would run? How the hell is he supposed to go to that damn function now. He made it outside trying to calm himself down in the cool air. This hurt. This definitely hurt. But Josh knows Wolf doesn’t always know how to let people in that he should. He tried not to take it too personally, though he was only human. This had to be hard for Wolf, Oliver. He told him his dad died when he was 14, nearly 30 years thinking he was dead. That’s…well that’s shit. Even if he and Wolf are…shaky because of what he said he still wants him in his life, wants to be his friend. And whether he realizes it or not right now, Wolf will need friends.
“Fuck the function…” he muttered more to himself and the universe than anyone in particular. He was essentially alone, no one paying him mind among the busy area that was Bronx general. He decided he’d find Oliver. The problem was he had no idea where to look…maybe he should have put the find my phone app on his new phone after all…
Wolf
“You waited until you needed me, thirty years of nothing, waited until you had a problem you think only I can fix!? Then you decide I need to know the truth?!”
“Ollie…it’s not like that-”
“Then what is it like!” Oliver was trying not to shout. He couldn’t wrap his head around all of this. They both really thought he was better off thinking his father was dead? How long had he been better, on meds that worked?
“Ollie, your mother and I never wanted to hurt you. And I had already hurt you so much. If I had stayed all you’d have done is worry about me, want to take care of me. But that wasn’t your job.”
“You’re my father! How is my life better without you in it!? I still spent my whole life trying to fix you if you ask mom or Carol! So what good did this whole lie actually do!?”
“I’m sorry, I really am.”
“Would you…would you have come back if you didn’t need my help?” His voice was almost a whisper now, afraid to ask the question.
“I…I’m not sure. I missed you, every day.”
Tears fell, hot down Oliver’s cheeks. “You have no idea what thinking you were dead did to me. You don’t even…” he paused when he felt his phone vibrate. It was Josh. A text. Where are you? Are you ok? His function, he totally forgot. Though the way he’s treated Josh the past couple days he’s unsure if he’d even be welcome. He’s been nothing but kind, loving, supportive, even risking his life so Oliver could find a patients dog.
He’s lived in the past for so long and he has a potential future finally in front of him and he’s doing everything to apparently push it away. He told his patient just today to rely on others for support, to be open, and he’s been none of those things with his boyfriend.
“I need to go. I have…someone I need to apologize to before it’s too late.”
“Ollie-”
“Not right now. If you want my help, you can come by the hospital. But do not come back to my home.”
He grabbed his helmet and ran for his bike. He may have broken a few laws trying to get to the function on time, he wasn’t but he tried. He stepped inside but saw no sign of Josh. He asked someone in the back and they told him he was a no show. Wolf felt a lump in his throat. He didn’t show. He grabbed his phone to try and text but saw the device was dead. Great. He checked Nichols office just to be sure but there was no sign of him. He left the hospital unsure what to do. He thought maybe he’d gone home so a quick drive past his home was his first stop. His jeep wasn’t there. Wolf had no idea where he might go aside from a bar and that’s like a needle in a needle stack to pick the right one.
Wolf decided to just go home and call him from his landline, maybe charge the damn cell phone. He pulled up to his house and saw Josh’s familiar jeep. And Josh sitting on his porch. He threw his helmet off, tears freshly painting his face , as he ran to his surgeon. Nichols met him for the hug Wolf was clearly aiming for.
“Josh! You’re here?”
“I…yeah. I heard about your dad and I…well I’m sorry, Wolf.”
He laughed, “Yeah nothing like your parents lying to you for thirty years. Look, Josh, I’m sorry too. I pushed you away and it wasn’t fair. I should be letting you in not keeping you out. I’ve been so stuck in my trauma, my past, I forgot what living in the moment, for the future was like. But I want that. I do. I want that with you. I was talking to my dad tonight and when you texted me it hit me that I if I keep living in the past I’ll never have a future. I can’t promise this epiphany will be an easy road but….I don’t want to lose you Josh. I think I’m falling for you too.”
Nichols looked at Wolf, searching his eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He kissed Josh, softly, bringing his hands to cup his jaw. “And I’m sorry, I really am. I tried to make it to your function, was still a little late, but was told you didn’t show. I…admit I got worried.”
“I didn’t show because I was worried about you. It..hurt you didn’t tell me what was going on. But I still wanted to be there for you, Oliver. No function, award or not, is going to be more important than that.” He paused, Wolf saw uncertainty and fear in his eyes. It made Wolf’s heart ache. “Are we ok? Maybe that’s unfair to ask I just-”
“No, I mean, no it’s not unfair. And yes, at least I hope so. I haven’t been the best boyfriend the last couple days…but if you’ll still have me?” He smiled hoping a little humor might ease some of the unease in his surgeons eyes.
“Oliver, I’m sitting on your doorstep in a tux in the cold. Of course I’ll still have you. I was more worried you wouldn’t still have…me.”
Oliver kissed his cheek where tears had stained them. “You are the present and the future I want. I know letting people in isn’t my strong suit but I’m glad your as stubborn as I am.”
“Required for being a surgeon, high stubbornness, it’s in the handbook and everything.” He laughed as more tears fell. But Oliver noted his shoulders relaxed. He laughed with him.
“I wouldn’t mind if we went inside and just…crawled in bed and didn’t leave for as long as humanly possible?”
“I’d…I’d love that.”
“And maybe pretend I have two normal parents who don’t lie to their son for three decades.”
“My offer still stands. I’ll talk to your mom, I can be very intimidating, remember?”
Oliver laughed, smiling for the first time since this whole mess started, “I might just take you up on that.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“If I said after we sleep? I feel so exhausted, I’m falling asleep just hugging you. But…I would like to talk.”
“Okay. Nap first. And…I’ll make you my famous breakfast and then if you want to talk…we can.”
Oliver nodded.
“So…we going inside? Tux’s aren’t very insulated you know. I’d like to get out of it.”
“Now there’s an idea.”
“ I thought you weren’t putting out?”
“It’s been a rough couple days, can’t a guy change his mind?” He smiled, his arm around Josh’s waist. His life may be turned all kinds of upside down but at least he has someone that offers stability when everything else is chaos. He finds a comfort in Josh he never knew was possible, someone he wants to fight for even when it’s hard.