Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

It was pure and complete nonsense, honestly. Something worthy of an April fools prank. 

People getting sick because of a flower that targeted those who were loved? 

What kind of flower did that?! 

A spiteful flower apparently, made with the kindest intent. According to Venti— or rather, Lord Barbatos. Jean explained the flower was made as a gift for the romantically struggling, as they do not tend to receive flowers. It was impossible to mistake this flower for any other, due to how unique the appearance is. The petals are clear, so thin that light manages to shine through them, and the flower leaves shimmery dust when shaken. So, it was meant to be a flower for them, making those who had partners pick something else. A kind thought, truly. 

Until the stupid flower mutated and now decided to punish any person who was loved, period. Whether that was by a lover, friend, family, or even self love. That made things especially difficult now, as there wasn’t a single person unloved enough to be able to aid in this flower situation. 

Except for Cavalry Captain Kaeya Alberich. One of the extremely few people who lacked family, had only superficial relationships, and couldn’t even bother to love himself. 

After hearing about the flower, he knew he had to be the one to do something about it! It was his duty as a Captain, no? 

A part of his heart still ached though, thinking about it. Maybe he wished this wasn’t a duty he had to do, as being unloved was a hurtful thing, even if one was used to it. 

Still, duty was duty, and there was no place for emotion in duty. 

“You Knights of Favonius really need to do something about those stupid flowers.” 

Kaeya turned around from where he was sitting at the bar, looking at the frustrated and tired woman. 

“You’re just sitting here and drinking, meanwhile people are getting sick. My daughter is sick and in bed right now, and you’re just drinking without a care in the world.” 

“I’m sorry about your daughter ma’am.” Kaeya replied sincerely. “We are working on a solution, I promise. I’m actually here to meet with someone regarding the issue. I wish a swift recovery for your daughter.” He smiled. 

“…Alright then. Just please, it’s annoying how many people have gotten sick. I know it’s relatively harmless but it’s still concerning.” 

“I promise you, we will figure something out as soon as possible.” 

Kaeya took another sip as soon as she left, which promptly received a scoff from Master Diluc. 

“Meeting someone? You’re just drinking.” 

“I just need to think… Besides, you’re here. I’m talking to you, so that counts as meeting someone, doesn’t it?” He replied, taking another sip.

“No it doesn’t. I can’t help at all with this situation, and I don’t know what drinking is going to help you with. I believe you’re just giving a poor display of conduct and carelessness, Sir Kaeya.” He chastised, leaving a deep aching feeling in Kaeya’s chest. 

Kaeya couldn’t really tell anyone about the solution that was really in his head, or they’d feel bad and tell him he was loved and that he was wrong. He also couldn’t tell anyone he was drinking to soothe his heart for tomorrow, where he would receive physical proof that nobody loved him. 

It truly wasn’t as complicated a thing as he was making it out to be. He was just going to do his job, even if that job was bittersweet. 

“A poor display? My apologies, I didn’t know it seemed that way.” He said spitefully. “Nevertheless, I believe we will come to a solution soon enough.” 

“There needs to be action for a solution, Sir Kaeya. Doing nothing won’t solve anything.” 

What was he implying? Was he indirectly telling Kaeya to go and pull out the flowers? 

How mean… Diluc didn’t need to tell him so bluntly that he was unloved. 

“Fortunately, I think we are on the same train of thought, Master Diluc.” Kaeya said, giving a fake smile. He finished his drink and placed some mora on the table. 

“Well, I’ll see you around later. Hopefully by then this whole flower issue will be solved.” 

 “Hopefully.” Diluc replied, cutting deeper than ever into Kaeya’s heart. 

Kaeya sat at his desk at home, planning out what he would do tomorrow. 

The flowers left a sparkly, glitter-like residue, which could be valuable for research. Maybe Albedo would be able to find an antidote, or something to plant to prevent further growth of the flower. 

There were no thorns, so gloves were unnecessary. Besides, they didn’t serve as a protective barrier for the people pulling out the flowers, as the Knights had found unfortunately at the expense of poor Swan. 

He just needed to pull them out, and put them in a box to discard, or possibly burn. 

He could use a match, or maybe, Diluc would be satisfied enough with Kaeya’s performance that he’d help burn them. 

But what if the fumes were poisonous? Then Diluc would fall ill and that would be no good. Kaeya would probably have to be the one to burn them. 

He sighed, scratching out Diluc’s name from the scrambled plans he was making. He needed to document this in advance, but it was hard to decide upon something cohesive. 

Finally, after enough scratching and unscrambling his thoughts, he smiled. Finally, he could go to bed! He finished! 

Waking up early in the morning, Kaeya went to his office. He needed to set out early enough that nobody would notice him and stop him. 

But first, he needed to preemptively finish the report. He probably wouldn’t be in the mood to do anything after, knowing himself. He’d probably just want to lie around, depressed, after everything. 

How stupid. He already knew the truth, but when the time came to feel it in his own hands, he was upset. 

But… that was irrelevant. His feelings were irrelevant. He had a job to do. 

Grabbing a blank report sheet, Kaeya began jotting down the details. Very tedious specifics, like how he was going to pull out the flowers, contain them, all of that stuff. 

He chuckled a little. Without an actual Cavalry, it seemed like being a Cavalry Captain encompassed being a gardener as well. 

He signed his signature, stamping it and leaving it on his desk, with a little note. 

“Hey Jean, I left to handle the flower situation myself. It should be taken care of by evening. I expect a few words of praise when I return.” He scribbled, adding a wonky smiley face after the words. 

He grabbed the florist box he bought from Donna— good grief it was awkward hearing her mumbling about Diluc— before setting off. 

He avoided whoever he could on the way, preferring to not be caught going to handle poisonous flowers, and eventually made it to Windrise. 

His eye caught upon a small patch of the flowers, and he lugged the box over, placing it on the ground and ignoring how his back ached at bending over. 

He had been spending too much time at his desk recently hadn’t he? 

…

Choosing not to think about his unhealthy work ethic, Kaeya decided to focus on the flowers in front of him. They were truly beautiful, weren’t they? 

The sparkle was eye-catching, and Kaeya couldn’t help but tap the flower, entranced by the way the sparkly dust spread and shimmered. He rubbed some of it between his fingers. 

If it weren’t poisonous, it would honestly work pretty well as makeup. Or even a mix in for drinks. 

‘Wow… a sparkly drink sure sounds nice right about now…’ Kaeya mused to himself, noticing how dry his throat felt. 

Maybe it would be compensation, for how truly upset he was internally. He had felt no effect so far, meaning that it was ever so likely that he was unloved. 

He knew this. He knew it before he had even dared to come. 

So he had no right to get upset about it. Seriously, he had absolutely no right. 

So why was he so upset? 

He scoffed, ripping out one flower by the roots. He waited for a good minute, before sighing deeply, a helpless smile drawing upon his face. 

Absolutely nothing happened.

But yeah. He had been expecting that. 

He didn’t know what he had been trying to disprove when he knew everything all along. 

Maybe it was out of frustration, and a desire to hole himself in his room, he clenched his fist, beginning to ruthlessly rip out the flowers and toss them into the box. He didn’t want to waste any more time behind stupid, ugly love flowers or whatever they were. 

He sighed again. He needed to calm down. He was far too upset about such a trivial matter… it was starting to feel hot from how angry he was. 

He wasn’t even a pyro user, so he shouldn’t have been heating up in the first place out of anger.

He took a deep breath, leaning over to pluck another flower from the ground. 

The last one. 

He sighed again, wiping a bead of sweat from his brow. 

Seriously, it was so hot. It was spring, but surely the weather wasn’t meant to be this hot? 

He tossed his fur coat to the side, relishing in the temporary relief it provided. 

‘A glass of water would be really nice right about now,’ he thought, grabbing the last flower in this patch. The dust rippled into the air and Kaeya coughed. 

He must have breathed some dust in. Even if the poison didn’t affect him, the fact that it was pollen still did. Breathing it in directly probably wasn’t the smartest idea. He needed to be careful. 

And why the hell was it so hot?! 

Kaeya wiped more sweat from his forehead. A cold Death After Noon sounded heavenly. He could even make some ice to put into it. And then a nice long nap. 

That sounded nice. He didn’t really have much else to do. 

Just as soon as he finished up with these flowers. 

That would maybe be in about an hour, right? 

He tossed three more into the box, before standing up. There were no more flowers in arms reach, but he could see another patch just a few steps away. 

He took a step. 

Why were his legs so shaky? 

He took another step. 

Why was the world spinning? 

Before he could take another step, he felt his head hit the ground with a soft thump.

Huh? 

Why did everything have a weird dark haze over it? And why was it suddenly so hard to keep his eyes open? 

Kaeya coughed weakly. 

He reached out to pick another flower, just a few inches out of his grasp. He had a job to do. 

He failed. 

All Kaeya could register as his eyes slowly opened was the sheer heat engulfing him. 

Why was it so damn hot? 

He blinked slowly, dully, struggling to make out what was going on behind the dark haze swarming him and his half lidded eye struggling to stay open. 

Someone was carrying him…? It seemed like that. 

Red hair… suit… excessively warm… 

“Dil—Diluc?” He asked weakly, coughing. 

“Shut up and go to sleep.” The angered response came. 

Why was he mad at him? 

“Are— you.. mad— at me?” He asked, head lolling forwards before it was adjusted back into Diluc’s chest. 

“Beyond words.” Was the reply, harsh as ever. However… something was different? 

The words were angry, yet the hands carrying him squeezed comfortably and held carefully, lovingly.

What was this like..? Kaeya had experienced it before…

Kaeya didn’t know. His brain felt like it was melting too much to think.

A sigh. Not from Kaeya. 

“Just go back to sleep.” A tired, but not angry anymore voice said. “You need to rest so the poison wears off. We will talk later.” 

Kaeya wanted nothing more than to sleep, so he didn’t even consider arguing with those words, and he closed his eyes. 

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Chapter Text

When Kaeya opened his eyes again, he was lying in the most blissfully soft bed, with an amazing cold wet cloth lying on his forehead. 

He turned to the side, coughing weakly. 

He felt sweaty and warm, and it was hard to even move a muscle. It was like he had been welded to the bed. 

Just like… No, wait, exactly like— 

He was sick. 

He was sick? 

He fell ill?

The flowers made him sick? 

He coughed again, though the coughs came with some laughter. 

He had gotten sick! He really had! 

Kaeya didn’t think he could have ever been so happy to be sick in his life! 

Or so he though, until he burst into another coughing fit, and the door opened. 

“Drink this, young master.” A kind, gentle voice spoke, placing a glass of water at his lips and slightly lifting his head up. 

A tender hand that was refreshingly cold touched his forehead. 

“Ah, he’s still feverish!” She called out to someone standing in the doorway.

“Adelinde?” He asked, his voice crackling raspily. 

“Master Kaeya, do you know where you are?” She asked. 

“W—winery?” He questioned. 

She nodded, carefully replacing the cloth on his head. 

“He seems lucid enough, just sick, like the doctor said.” Adelinde stated. “You worry too much, Master Diluc. You didn’t even need to fetch the doctor in such a frenzy.” 

“The idiot pulled out multiple of those flowers by the roots, and I found him collapsed next to a whole bunch of them. Most of the reports were of people who simply dared to touch one of them— so I didn’t know what would happen to someone foolish enough to play gardener with poisonous fucking flowers—!” 

“Enough, Master Diluc!” Adelinde glared. “…I understand you may be frustrated because you were worried, but please talk respectfully to Master Kaeya. It’s enough punishment that he’s lying here ill as he is, he doesn’t need a tongue lashing on top of it.” 

Diluc went silent, walking up to the bed. He looked at Kaeya, who looked at him blearily, and sighed tiredly, pulling up a chair next to him. 

“…Okay.” He mumbled, carefully placing a hand on Kaeya’s head and stroking his hair carefully. “I’m sorry, I was too harsh.” 

Kaeya looked at Diluc in shock, while Adelinde left the room with a smile on her face. 

“I just— Kaeya, what the hell were you doing? What were you even thinking— I don’t— I don’t understand.” 

Kaeya didn’t say anything, just watching Diluc who looked extremely conflicted. 

“Did you think that you could just try to pull as many out as you could and deal with the consequences later? Is that what your ‘plan’ was?” 

Kaeya shook his head. 

Diluc took a deep breath, hesitating to speak further. It seemed like he didn't want to say what was on his mind— he didn’t want to believe in the alternative possibility. 

“…Did you think you were immune to the flower’s poison?” 

Kaeya nodded, looking away from Diluc slightly shamefully. 

“Is— is it because of your origins? Is that why you thought you were immune?” He asked, grasping for a last straw to avoid the last possible reason as to why Kaeya would do something so reckless. 

Kaeya could have let him have it, but he shook his head again, tears brimming in his eyes. 

“…Then, is it because you think nobody loves you?” Diluc asked, the question sitting heavy in the air. 

A few tears slipped from his eyes, and he turned around, refusing to face Diluc. He wiped the tears from his face frantically, trying to stop more from spilling out. 

This was so embarrassing! Why in front of the person who was least likely to love him?! 

“Obviously…” Kaeya eventually managed to choke out. “You already knew that.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?!” Diluc asked, worry and confusion churning deeply in his heart. 

“Weren’t you the one telling me to take action? What else were you asking from me?” He questioned. 

It took a second for Diluc to register what Kaeya was saying, and to remember the exact words he said. 

“Oh my— Kaeya?! I obviously didn’t mean that you should go pick poisonous flowers!” Diluc exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Where is your common sense?!” He yelled. 

“My common sense?!” Kaeya scoffed bitterly, shoving himself up on his elbows, barely stopping them from giving out. “I’ve been operating on nothing but common sense since last night!” He shouted. “It was common sense that I needed to do my job, and it was my common sense that made me go and even try to come up with a solution!” He continued. “Nothing but common sense was able to make me even try to pick those flowers, not when hurt so bad—!” His voice cut off, quivering. 

“What? Your ‘common sense’ that told you that nobody loves you? Is that what made you go?!” Diluc snapped back. 

“Yes, Diluc! That’s exactly it! I know it might not seem so, but my self pride isn’t great enough to make me affected by that flower— I’m actually rather insecure.” Kaeya stated, not exactly sure what he was arguing nor why his tightly knit filter was unraveling. “And as I’m pretty sure you were thinking, I also thought nobody else loved me, so that’s why it just— that’s why I went!” 

“I have never once thought that way! And I don’t understand how you could think that!”

“Because it’s my life, Diluc! I live it every single day! So forgive me for making a reasonable judgement based on my past experience!” He slammed his fist on the bed, ignoring how the force made his head spin. “It’s hard to believe that I’m loved when I’m constantly being called irritating, slacker, liar, whore—!” 

“Who the hell called you a whore?!” Diluc shouted, in shock and protective fury.

“None of your business, right, Master Diluc?” Kaeya retorted tearfully. 

“Why isn’t this my business?! Kaeya, you went and did something that would make you sick on purpose! I can’t ignore this!” He argued back. 

“I told you I didn’t know I would get sick! God forbid that I don’t know about some random person who loves me just enough to prevent me from being immune! Hell, for all I know it could have been Donna thinking I’m attractive that made me ill! That doesn’t mean—!” 

“Why are you so insistent upon the fact that just one person loves you, and that too barely enough! Do you seriously think everyone you know doesn’t give a damn about you?!” 

“You certainly don’t!” Kaeya shouted.

“I beg your pardon?!” 

“Oh please, stop trying to act like you care.” Kaeya scoffed. “The truth is that I was just “in your way,” right? As always.” 

Diluc’s mind went back to when he uttered those words on the bridge. 

“What—? No, Kaeya! I didn’t mean—!” 

“Yeah, you did. You can’t tell me that I’m ‘in the way’ all the time, or that I’m a waste of space and my breathing is a waste of air, and expect me to believe in this act of yours.” 

“What?! When did I ever say you were a waste of space and air?!” Diluc’s eyes widened, completely shocked. 

“You didn’t say it, but you made me feel like that, Master Diluc.” Kaeya remarked, a sniffle escaping him. He rubbed his eyes, burying his face in his hands. 

Diluc reached out his hand, placing it on the younger man’s shoulder. Kaeya didn’t react.

“I feel like I’m trash, everyday, Diluc.” His voice warbled, tears slipping out from his cupped hands onto Diluc’s glove.

“Kaeya—“ he tried to get his attention again.

But Kaeya refused to answer him anymore.

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In Kaeya’s defense, he was sick, exhausted, and sad. That combined with having to deal with Diluc was too much for his heart to handle— so he cried. A lot. 

In Diluc’s defense, he had been startled at first, but he had tried after that. 

Kaeya, however, had been inconsolable. Nothing Diluc said really went in his head. 

So now they were simply sitting in silence. Diluc was holding Kaeya in an embrace, and Kaeya was falling asleep. 

Kaeya was honestly far too sick for a proper conversation, Diluc realized far too late. He shouldn’t have tried to get an explanation from him at that moment. 

He looked around, seeing how the room had darkened as the sun had set. His eyes turned to the pitcher of water, along with the tray of soup that had now gone cold. 

He hadn’t considered that Kaeya hadn’t eaten, or how weak he must feel. He hadn’t considered how Kaeya, who needed rest more than anything right now, had ended up exhausting himself with emotions. 

The realization dawned upon him. 

‘I’m an awful brother.’ 

No wonder Kaeya hadn’t even considered that Diluc loved him. It had made him angry that Kaeya had been going around in circles, refusing to acknowledge the fact that Diluc loved him— but as he looked at the reddened, wet face that was slumped asleep on his shoulder, he realized he had not once told Kaeya that he loved him. 

He hadn’t shown it either. Not in the past, and not even now. 

“…I love you, Kaeya.” He said softly, hesitantly. “You deserve to know that.” 

Kaeya didn’t say anything, more unconscious with exhaustion than asleep

Diluc carefully leaned Kaeya from his shoulder onto the bed. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t done a good job showing you. I promise I’ll do better.” He said, brushing the bangs off of Kaeya’s forehead. “I’ll treat you better and make sure you’re receiving the love I try to show.”

“Just give me a chance, okay?” 

Kaeya didn’t say anything, but his brows that had been furrowed and tight in his sleep, relaxed. Diluc hoped that meant he heard him. 

He smiled slightly, taking the (now dry) wet cloth off of Kaeya’s head and dipping it in the water. He placed the cold cloth on Kaeya’s forehead, tapping it slightly.

“…Looks like I’ll have to spend the next week taking care of you. You lovely little idiot of a brother.” 

Kaeya stirred, ever so slightly opening his eye. “…Hm?” 

“…Nothing, Kaeya. Go back to sleep.”

Kaeya’s eye closed again, and his chest began to rise and fall with sleep. 

“…Sleep well, Kaeya.” 

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The end.