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Raphinha watches the younger players jumping up and down and celebrating the victory. Their fourth consecutive victory over Real Madrid.
It's at moments like these that he realizes that his younger years are starting to fade away.
Sure, he celebrated today's victory effusively and still feels elated. But he definitely doesn't have the energy inside himself to keep jumping up and down like the younger players are doing now.
Lamine, Balde, Ansu and Hector simply seem tireless when it comes to celebrating victories like this.
He watches them from his bench, smiling as he feels the fatigue of the game seeping into his bones. In fact, at this point in the season, he feels the fatigue of each game weighing down on him, piling up like piles of concrete.
All he wants now is to go to recovery and take a long, hot shower afterwards.
He looks at the group in the locker room. Robert and Tek are chatting quietly amidst the chaos. Marc, Frenkie and Andreas smile at the group of boys in the middle of the room jumping and singing.
He sees Pedri talking to one of the technical staff in a corner, probably discussing things they need to improve in the future.
All of them are in good spirits, even if they show it in different ways.
Or maybe not all of them.
Raphinha sees Fermin sitting in his seat. He’s not usually as effusive as the other younger boys, but Raphinha thinks he certainly shouldn’t look that way after this win.
He watches him as the Spaniard watches the younger players, just as several of them are doing. He sees Fermín smiling, just as the others are doing too. But Raphinha sees that his smile doesn't seem to reach his eyes.
He sees when Gavi comes up to him, singing loudly and messing up his hair, Fermín smiles and lets him play along, like he always does, but when his best friend from childhood walks away to tease someone else, Raphinha sees his smile fade.
Raphinha has noticed for a while now that the younger boy seems to have a certain soft spot for him. He doesn't understand why.
But even though Raphinha squeezes and teases him almost 24/7, he still comes to stay by Raphinha's side during every single training. He sees how much the Spaniard always seems willing to receive his hugs and affection.
Fermín himself always seems to be waiting for an opportunity to snuggle up to Raphinha, hugging him, jumping into his arms and wrapping his legs around Raphinha's waist, even when he’s a shy boy.
Raphinha has noticed how he always seems to prolong his hugs, always pressing his head against Raphinha's chest. He's always playing with Raphinha's hair, touching him and shyly asking about his tattoos when they're in the locker room. Raphinha can't find a bone in himself to deny how much he adores him.
He doesn't think that what Fermín feels for him amounts to a crush, but it could be close to it.
So, Raphinha feels his heart ache a little for him. It must have been very hard for him to have a disallowed goal like the one he scored was.
Fermín has been one of his best friends here since he arrived. Raphinha knows him and knows when he's struggling with something, and this season he's seen how the criticism about his performance has been hard for him. Especially with the team's performance improving.
Raphinha knows that he's probably trying his best to prove himself, especially when he's always on the bench. Raphinha knows that his self-criticism is probably eating away at him now, even though the team still came away with the win.
He understands it, because he knows the feeling. Especially when he feels like his hard work has been invalidated by someone else, when this was a great chance to prove his worth.
He knows that in moments like these, even if they come out on top, the pressure on himself must be consuming him.
He decides not to interfere for now. He knows that sometimes things are better heard when said after the turbulence.
-
Raphinha waits for him in the stadium's private parking lot.
He saw how throughout the recovery, the youngest, known for being a walking sunshine, was a little apathetic.
He doesn't know if the others noticed.
Fermín maintains a good relationship with the entire team, he is naturally a person everyone likes. But Raphinha knows that his best friend is Gavi, and in days like these, Gavi wouldn't be the most perceptive person for the task.
Raphinha misses João at this moment. The three of them were very close when the Portuguese was at the club, but since he left, Raphinha feels a little like they have lost a piece of the puzzle of their friendship.
He's never been known for being the most sensitive person in the world. Especially in a cast as full of young people as theirs, he feels a bit out of place to start certain types of conversation without sounding overly paternalistic.
When João was here, Raphinha didn't feel the age difference between the three of them was so big and like a wall.
It's not that he doesn't feel close to Fermín anymore. It's just an openness thing about certain topics of conversation. He doesn't want to pressure Fermín into telling him anything he doesn't want to just because Raphinha is older.
(Because the good-hearted boy would certainly do it, just to not displease Raphinha, he knows that.)
When Fermín leaves, he's alone. He's wearing a cap, his face partially obscured. He doesn't notice the Brazilian until Raphinha calls out to him.
"Rapha. I didn't see you there," he says, stopping at the door of his car.
"Yeah, I was waiting for you."
Fermín looks almost scared, but he smiles to cover it up.
"For me?" he lowers his gaze.
"Yes." Raphinha says. He waits for Fermín to look at him again before continuing. "I wanted to invite you over. Play some video games." He tries to sound as natural and casual as he can.
He knows Fermín can be like a skittish animal sometimes.
"Oh, I don't know..." he runs his hand through the short hair at the back of his neck.
Raphinha knows he has to insist. "I bought your favorite brand of candy." Raphinha waggles his eyebrows.
Fermín smiles, his typical embarrassed smile, the one that always brings out Raphinha's cute aggression. He pinches the younger's cheeks, just because. Raphinha knows he gets embarrassed when his sweet tooth is brought up. Iñi always makes fun of him for it.
"I..." he tries to say, Raphinha tightens his grip on his cute cheeks. "Okay. I'll go! My cheek hurts!" he says adorably and it takes everything in Raphinha not to sink his teeth into his cheeks.
"Okay. That's how I prefer it." He smiles at the younger one, who smiles a more genuine smile.
He pulls Fermín into a short hug, the younger one automatically wrapping his arms around Raphinha's waist, before letting go and ruffling his hair. Fermín whimpers adorably.
"I don't know why I'm still your friend. You're my worst bully," he says without any real malice.
Raphinha smiles. "Because you love me." He smiles, to which the younger one half blushes half smiles. "Shall we go? Are you going in your car?"
"Yeah, I have to fill up before I go there."
"Okay, I'll go first then."
Fermín nods.
Raphinha heads to his own car. He is thankful that his youngest son will have to make the stop, because he didn't buy any candy. That way he will have enough time to buy a new package at the store near his house.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. Fermín doesn't need to know that.
-
When Raphinha hears the car pull up to his house, he has already set up the game and there are several packages of snacks on the coffee table. Not that they would eat them all, but more so that they have options to choose from. Fermín's favorite candy is among them.
The sun is almost setting on the horizon when he opens the door for Fermín. The boy seems a little less downcast than he had in the locker room, and Raphinha already feels better for him.
"Come on, I bought you a bunch of sweets since you're an ant disguised as a human." he says, Fermín coming in.
He smiles embarrassedly at Raphinha. His smile is as sweet or sweeter than the candies he loves to eat so much. "You don't go easy on me for a minute, do you?"
Raphinha smiles. "No. I took it upon myself to be the one who will always teases you at every opportunity. It was in my contract, tío." He makes the gesture that shows his helplessness.
Fermín laughs blessedly. He is adorable.
"I guess I should be getting extra pay for hazard pay then?" he says, sitting down on the couch.
"Hazard pay? Isn't that a bit much?"
Raphinha goes to the kitchen, bringing two bottles of orange juice with his on the way back. He sits next to the younger boy.
Fermín takes off his white sneakers to cross his legs on the couch.
"Too much? I'm squeezed, manhandled, my cheeks hurt from how much they're abused during training. My ears are growing bigger from how much you pull and mess with them. I guess that should count as something, right? I'm almost a potential victim of harassment at work."
Raphinha watches him with amusement as he lists his daily sufferings.
"Anything else?" he asks.
"I didn't even mention that I might end up with premature baldness because you won't stop messing with my hair." he finishes.
Raphinha laughs helplessly and fondly.
Fermín whines, but ends up laughing with him too. He pushes Raphinha's shoulder to show his indignation.
"When did you become so dramatic?"
Raphinha sets the game.
"I think I spent too much time with these kids."
Raphinha looks at him. "You are a kid too?"
"No... I mean, not like them."
"Oh, so you're a grown man now?"
"Yes." he says.
Raphinha smiles. "Okay." He passes the bag of sweets to Fermín. "Take your sweets, grown man."
"Hijo de puta," he smiles, saying quietly.
"What did you say?" He pulls the younger man by the shoulders, playfully putting him in an armlock. "What did you say??? Who's teaching you these things?"
Fermín laughs uncontrollably as he makes a minimal effort to try to escape. "I won't tell, not even under threat of death!" he gasps under his laughter.
"Tell me, or you'll suffer the consequences! Who's corrupting my boy?"
Fermín writhes like a worm, laughing. "I won't tell!"
"You asked for it." Raphinha bites his neck then. Right where it was available in front of his face, basically asking to be bitten.
Fermín screams. He goes limp in Raphinha's loose grip for a moment. Raphinha lets go and bursts into laughter.
"You..." he pulls away, his face bright pink, looking at Raphinha in disbelief. "You did it again!"
Raphinha remembers for a moment doing that to him once, he thinks it was last year. Fermín walking away from him with flushed cheeks on the training field. He remembers the curious look on Marc's face watching them that day.
The Brazilian leans back on the couch laughing at him. "I told you you'd be punished."
Fermín, basically red as a tomato, leans back on the couch in embarrassment. He has nowhere to run now. Raphinha thinks he is simply the most adorable person who has ever existed on this planet.
"You are unbelievable." He takes one of the sweets and puts it in his mouth, still pink.
"I can't have my little boy being so rude."
"Your little boy?"
"Yes."
Raphinha pulls him into a half hug and hands him one of the controllers.
Fermín leans against him while Raphinha selects the teams that will play.
It's good to have him like this. The smell of candy fills Raphinha's lungs, he holds him against his chest. A sweet boy indeed.
"Want one?"
"Give me one."
"You're really something else, Rapha." He takes a candy and puts it in Raphinha's mouth, who takes it with his mouth, his lips brushing the younger's fingertips.
"You licked me!" Raphinha smiles. "What's happening to you today?"
"It's just saliva. You have it, I have it, we have it. I'm a clean person. Don't you think I am?"
Fermín looks at him, cheeks flushed. "That's it... Let's play already." He gives up arguing with Raphinha, who laughs.
Raphinha presses play and they play.
Raphinha is happy that the younger boy came over. He knows that if Fermín had gone home, where he lives alone, he would be depressed for the next two or three days, tormenting himself over what happened in the game.
He doesn't know if the youngest heard about the rumors of leaving, so it would just be more nonsense to fill his head.
They play for almost the entire afternoon, Raphinha winning most of the games. He teases Fermín at each game over announcement, him always asking for one more game to prove his worth in the video game.
When Fermín finally wins, he jumps off the couch, jumping around the living room and doing an awkward victory dance. Raphinha smiles fondly.
It's already dark outside, only the light from the kitchen and the television illuminating the two in the living room with countless empty snack packages on the floor.
When he feels satisfied, Fermín slumps down next to Raphinha, the Brazilian making an oof under his weight.
"Do you want to kill me?" he says, but pulls Fermín towards him so they can lean together against the soft backrest.
Fermín sighs after a moment. "I guess the game's fatigue caught up with me now," he laughs, sounding tired. "Beating your ass off was tiring."
Raphinha pats his head, feeling exhausted from the day.
The game's theme song continues to play on repeat as they lie there, their bodies pressed together from their knees to their shoulders, their heads inches apart.
Raphinha closes his eyes and sighs.
They lie there, drowsy and full of each other's company.
After a few minutes of silence, in which Raphinha was already starting to feel sleep pulling him down, he feels warm fingers take one of his hands.
He allows it, even presses back a little so Fermín knows he recognizes him.
He feels the younger one caress his fingers almost shyly. "Thank you." he hears him say softly.
Raphinha turns his head to him and slowly opens his eyes. He sighs and then smiles softly. Fermín smiles his sweet smile, the one that makes Raphinha want to squeeze him like a baby.
"My baby," he says softly.
Fermín looks away, his ears completely red.
He seems to struggle with the affection for a few moments before meeting Raphinha's eyes again.
Raphinha finds him so beautiful , the purest soul he has ever met. Raphinha doesn't know what makes Fermín look at him like this, like he does now. As if Raphinha were the one who hung the moon and the sun in the sky. When he is the very manifestation of the ethereal between the two.
He doesn't understand, but he doesn't want to be ungrateful, he doesn't want to be indifferent to the affection of someone as good as Fermín is.
He sees the younger boy's eyes shine when Raphinha gets a little closer. He sees the emotions swirling in his eyes, the perception. He stays there then, waiting for Raphinha to get closer.
Raphinha holds his face tenderly. "My baby. My beautiful baby ," he whispers. Fermín closes his eyes, his eyelids fluttering.
Raphinha kisses his lips.
He feels Fermín sigh. He moves his lips gently and carefully. He lets Fermín tug at the front of his shirt eagerly, and moves their heads so that they fit together perfectly.
Fermín tastes like the sweets he ate, strawberry and caramel. Somehow, Raphinha thinks he would still taste sweet even without them.
They kiss, long and slow, hot, wet tongues dancing together. Raphinha hears the younger sigh and sigh, before pulling away to breathe some fresh air. He pecks his lips a few more times before laying his head back on the couch.
Fermín keeps his eyes closed, his face and neck all flushed. When he opens his eyes, he looks like an angel waking up from a deep sleep of hundreds of years. He looks at the Brazilian, who looks back at him. Then he comes to lean against Raphinha's chest, his head resting right over the older man's heart.
He wraps his arms around the smaller body, pulling him closer.
They stay there, the tiredness of the day along with the infinity and peace of the moment lulling them to sleep.
The last thing that passes through Raphinha's consciousness before he finally falls asleep is that he really is lucky to have a boy like Fermín in his life.
The end.