Chapter Text
Everything is enveloped in warmth, here. You don't really know where here is, but you don't really care. At the moment, all you know is the comforting pocket of space you’re nuzzled into.
At some point, you realize that you are not alone. Something else occupies the space closely, and as time goes on, it grows larger, taking up more and more space until you are intertwined with it. The overlapping of beings is too soothing for you to put up much of a fight.
Your other half is gone. The warmth is carefully leached out of you, until you are suddenly very, very cold and dry. The absence of comfort comes with an onslaught of new sensations, the least interesting one being the sound of a high-pitched wailing. You have the overwhelming urge to hide away from everything. You only manage to grasp whatever is pressed into the palm of your hand.
~~~
“What a delightful surprise!”
“...We didn’t plan to have a second kid–”
“What do we do?”
“Well, I’d think you ought to name him, first!”
“It’s a boy?”
“He looks just like you–”
“I picked Megumi, how about you name this one.”
“Hmm.. how about Takao?”
“No.”
“Wha– Why not? It’s similar to your name!”
“Don’t like it.”
“Ugh, you’re no fun.”
~~~
You later learn that your name is Mitsuo. The only one who actually calls you that is Dad, though. Everyone else calls you Mio. That is, except for the occasional whispered mentions of your name. Nobody else seems to care, though, and you haven't figured out how to turn your own head to see what’s going on, so you ignore it for now.
You eventually come to the realization that your other half, from before, isn’t actually gone. You often drift asleep against the familiar comforting warmth of what is apparently your twin brother, Megumi. You crave the same tight embrace you held from before, but you haven't learned how to move, yet. This will have to do.
You and Megumi are ten months old—which you only know due to the diligent tracking of Mom—when Megumi utters his first word. To the surprise of both parents, it’s not ‘Mama’ or ‘Dada’, but rather “Mio”.
You watch carefully as Dad scoops your twin up into his arms. “You little traitor.” He states, deadpan.
You don't so much as squeak when the floor drops from under you and you’re brought up to rest on Mom’s hip, though your eyes do widen a tiny bit. “I think it’s sweet!” Mom exclaims. She reaches her unoccupied hand up to pinch your cheek. “Maybe you’ll start speaking soon, too,” she smiles.
It doesn’t take words for Megumi to understand you. When you stop placing blocks atop your ever-growing tower, distracted by the distant mumblings that no one else seems to hear, Megumi stops tracing the patterns in his picture book and looks up at you. “Mio?”
You blink slowly, and look up at your twin. Megumi reaches for the block you had grasped in your tiny chubby hand, which you easily relinquish. Megumi places the block on top of the tower, then looks at you again. You clap delightedly, a half-toothless smile on your face.
Megumi huffs and returns to his earlier task of using his finger to outline the pictures in his book.
It’s on their first birthday that you overhear a conversation from the kitchen, all the way from the play pen that you and your twin are situated in.
“He’s just so quiet, I’m getting worried…”
“He’s only a year old.”
“But Megumi is already saying a few words, Mio hardly even cries, Toji.”
You turn to Megumi at the mention of his name, but he looks none the wiser, scribbling away in his new coloring book. The conversation grows quieter, and you go back to pushing your new toy train around the playmats. You pay no mind to the faint echoes of “worried…too quiet. . . help?. . brother…not alone” that fill your ears.
“Gumi?” you prompt, hand outstretched as you offer him one of your crackers. Megumi had already finished all of his snacks, and you were feeling generous, for once.
Megumi’s head snaps up to look at you, eyes wide. You wave your hand around, insistent. Megumi leans closer, eyes trained on your face as he reaches for the cracker. You push the snack into your twin’s hand, smiling triumphantly over the acceptance of your gift.
“...Thank you.” Megumi mumbles.
———————————
A few months after the twins’ first birthday, the Fushiguro family goes on an outing. With the newly learned skill of walking, you and Megumi both have backpack leashes attaching you to Toji to avoid getting lost. The zoo is bustling with rowdy groups of people, with kids running around while their tired parents chase after them.
Megumi’s leash is really only a formality, out of the sake of fairness. It’s only because of you that both of you have to wear the safety precautions in the first place. Because of your quiet, unassuming nature, you have a habit of disappearing off to random places without anyone noticing, and the Fushiguros can’t afford to lose track of you today.
Though, Megumi could probably find you fairly quickly, you think. The two of you have a strange knack for finding each other when you’re apart.
“Alright, boys,” Mom crouches down closer to your eye-level. “Where should we head first?” she asks, a smile stretching across her cheeks.
Megumi turns to look at your face, carefully analyzing the nondescript look you give him. Gumi turns back to give a shy smile to their mom. “Elephants.” Mom turns to gauge your reaction. You nod.
She hums, rising back to her full height. “Elephants it is!” She points forwards, past you and Megumi. You follow the line of movement to look further into the zoo along one of the diverting paths, dutifully ignoring the whispers that steadily grow in volume. You reach your hand out to point in the same direction, then turn your head to look at Mom again.
She beams. “Onwards!” she announces, beginning to march in the direction her finger was still pointing towards. You hear a tiny sigh to your right and turn to witness Gumi rolling his eyes. You giggle soundlessly and reach to grasp his hand in yours. You tune out Dad’s grumbling complaints as you drag Megumi to catch up to Mom.
To your surprise, the elephants are actually pretty quiet. Amidst the silently admiring gazes of the crowd, only you are having a hard time focusing on the spectacularly large animals before you. You’re too distracted by the errant, overly-anxious whispers filling your ears. You crease your eyebrows as you carefully track the newly born baby elephant’s movements.
A tiny hand catches yours. You startle a little, but when the hand gently squeezes yours, you turn to see that it was just Gumi. You release a huff of air at the vaguely concerned look he gives you. He shakes his head patronizingly and returns his gaze to the elephant that was stealing bits of food from the others while they weren’t looking.
The ground drops from under you as you’re pulled up into Mom’s arms. “Look Mio, that one’s swimming!” She exclaims, pointing towards the distant pool of water. You squint, straining to see a grey form splashing around in the pond. You can hear it better than you can see it, but you think it might be chasing a ball as it moves across the water’s surface.
Eventually, the Fushiguros move on along the designated path, Mom pointing at each animal excitedly, and you and Megumi both shrugging and disinterested. That is, until the four of you reach the panda enclosure.
You watch two pandas as they roll around and eat wayward bits of bamboo. The distant sounds of Dad’s grumbling distracts you. “What kind of. . .—doesn’t like pandas?...” a now-familiar whispering speaks directly in your ears. You shake off the distraction, eagerly returning your attention to the playful bears in front of you.
You notice a larger panda, off to the side, curled up and napping. You raise your tiny hand to point at it, turning to face Megumi, who looks equally as aloof as he did upon seeing all of the previous animals. “Dad,” you wobble your finger around pointedly.
Megumi’s eyebrows scrunch together in that way that tells you he’s confused. “It’s Dad,” you say with a solemn nod.
Gumi turns to look at the napping panda with a vaguely amused look on his face. Your face quirks into a tiny smile as Mom bursts out laughing. Dad stares unamusedly at the panda. “It does kind of look like you, Toji” Mom attempts in between quiet giggles.
You pretend not to notice Dad’s slight uptick in the corners of his mouth as he complains about your perception of him. After you all take a moment to laugh—really, it’s just Mom, you and Megumi both sport vaguely entertained expressions— Dad drags the three of you along to the next exhibit.
The day is filled with tiny smiles and excited gasps, with a brief break in the middle to eat the lunches Mom had packed for you all. From an outside perspective Megumi might have seemed rather disinterested, but you knew better. He liked the amphibians and reptiles the most. You quite liked the bats.
A very successful outing, according to Mom’s whispered conversation with Dad as you walk closer to the exit. Maybe just a bit tiring, you think as a wide yawn escapes you from your position curled up in Dad’s arms. Leaning into Dad’s chest, you decide you’ll just rest your eyes for a moment. Not even the click of being strapped into your car seat wakes you up from your accidental nap.
———————————
You have an older sister now. Her name is Tsumiki. Apparently, according to Dad, you have a new mom too. You’re not sure when your old one is coming back. Megumi says not to worry about it.
Tsumiki is nice, at least. She reads Gumi’s favorite books to both of you while you all wait for your parents to get back. She says it’s good practice, since she just started learning kanji in primary school. She’s only a year older than you and Megumi, but she acts much older.
Sometimes, when neither Dad or Mom are home by dinnertime, she helps make dinner. You’re usually the one who washes the rice and veggies. Megumi likes stirring the food while it cooks, and Tsumiki does all the chopping because she doesn’t want you or Gumi to hurt yourselves.
“Megumi, could you come stir this?” Tsumiki calls out, head still facing the stovetop.
Gumi sets his picture book down and climbs to his feet. He’d been practicing the words Tsumiki taught you both last week. You watch him pace over to the kitchen and step up onto the stool Tsumiki was using and take the spoon from her hands. You already helped get the rice washed and cooking in the rice cooker, so all that needed to be done was to cook the curry.
You turn back to your unfinished page in Megumi’s coloring book. Reaching for the red crayon, you get back to work on your flowers. Once you finish coloring in the petals, you reach for a black crayon and add dark shadows below the flowers, outside of the lines the book had designated. The vague presence in the back of your head mumbles out disjointed praises.
“Mitsuo, come help me set the table!” Tsumiki exclaims, drawing your attention away from the picture. You shove all the crayons into a small pile before closing the book and standing.
“Just Mio.” you murmur a reminder as you meet Tsumiki at the table. As respectful as she is, she sometimes forgets not to use your full given name.
“Right, sorry Mio,” she says as you grab the stack of plates. You carefully set them out in your designated spots, leaving the spot at the head of the table and the one to the left of it empty. That’s where Mom and Dad usually sit, but they’re not here. Again.
Megumi carefully brings the pot of curry over to the table, setting it atop a small mat to prevent the table from burning. Not that it was a nice table or anything, but it would be a shame to leave more marks on it.
Tsumiki brings the pot of rice and paddle over to the table, setting it beside the curry. She takes Gumi’s plate and puts a scoop of rice on it before handing it back to him. He eagerly fills the plate with curry while Tsumiki deposits rice onto your plate. Megumi hands you the curry spoon, and you put a respectable amount onto your plate, passing the spoon to Tsumiki afterwards.
With everyone’s plates full, the three of you pay your respects and then dig in. For having been cooked by a bunch of kids, it’s pretty good, you think.
———————————
Tsumiki wakes you and Megumi up early today. It’s the first day of school, and she doesn’t want to be late. You’re not super excited. Not that you don’t want to go, it’s nice to get out of the house. You’re just not looking forward to how loud it will be.
Megumi isn’t supremely excited, either. He would rather stay home and practice reading there. You think he probably needs to be around other kids his age. You and Tsumiki can only bother him so much, after all.
“Do I have to go?” Megumi grumbles as Tsumiki adjusts his uniform.
“Yes, Megumi, you have to go to school. Don’t you want to learn how to read all of your books?” She finishes adjusting his shirt collar with a nod of satisfaction before moving on to fix yours.
You give Gumi a blank look. “See? Even Mio doesn’t want to go,” he gestures to you. You draw your face into an unimpressed expression as Tsumiki pulls away.
“Don’t use your brother as an excuse, Megumi.” She scolds him halfheartedly. The whispered voices mumble in agreement to no one in particular. Megumi glares at Tsumiki. She sighs. “Please be on your best behavior today, alright?” She leans in to whisper in your ear: “Keep an eye on him?”
You nod determinedly, though not entirely sure of what it is she’s worried will happen. She smiles, satisfied. She turns and rushes into the kitchen, coming back with the bentos that the three of you had prepared the night before. She stuffs them into your backpacks, then hands the bags off to each of you.
“Okay! Let’s go,” she beams, opening the front door and ushering you and Megumi outside. She locks the door, then takes you and Megumi’s hands in hers as the trio begins the journey to school.
~~~
You were right in thinking it would be loud. How does nobody else notice the sheer volume of their combined voices? Or are they all just better at ignoring it? Your new classmates are all so eager to be the center of attention, and yet here you are clinging to the back of Gumi’s shirt while trying to hide from the rest of the class.
At least Megumi understands. Or at least, he tries his best to. He steps in the way of anyone who tries to introduce themself to you, glaring at them until they’ve left the two of you alone. This whole ‘school’ thing will definitely take some getting used to.
Miss Inoue is pretty nice, as far as adults go. She doesn’t badger you into joining your classmates during recess, instead letting you and Gumi sit in the grass off to the side. No one is trying to speak with you, so you’re taking the moment to relax and adjust.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath. You can hear the echoing laughter of the other kids playing on the playground. The teachers quietly conversing on the opposite side of the area. The leaves rustling in the light wind. Megumi’s quiet breathing.
You open your eyes and turn to face Megumi. He blinks. “You okay now?”
You nod. “I’m good.”
He huffs. “That’s good. Want to go play on the swings?”
You grin and nod eagerly.
———————————
Dad hasn’t been home in a long time, now. Mom doesn’t spend a whole lot of time here either, but when she is here, she’s always crying in her room. You’re not that surprised that she hasn’t noticed the giant dog that roams about the apartment yet.
You were a little hesitant at first. Where did it even come from? When it first appeared, you and Megumi hadn’t been able to fall asleep, so you suggested a game of shadow puppets. Gumi was in the middle of miming a wolf howling at the moon when a big black dog appeared out of nowhere. It hardly ever leaves your twin’s side now.
You don’t really have any complaints, though. Its fur is super fluffy and makes for a great pillow. Tsumiki complains about the fur she keeps finding everywhere, but you don’t mind it. The dog is very friendly, and he seems to understand you without need for words.
For example, right now. You’re trying to get it to steal a piece of tofu off of Megumi’s plate. He had taken the last piece, and you’re feeling salty. Its mouth is inches away from the stray bit of food when Megumi notices its presence.
“Hey! That’s mine!” he waves his chopsticks around at the dog until it dissipates into the shadows. He turns to glare at you across the table. You snicker.
“Boys, behave.” Tsumiki interrupts the staring contest.
You stick your tongue out at Megumi and shove a piece of tofu in your mouth. “So close. . . get… next time. . .” a distant amalgamation of voices mumble inspiring words.
Megumi may have a giant cuddle buddy of a dog, but you have voices that whisper secrets to you.
———————————
“How come you can’t talk?” one of your classmates prompts. You think her name is Mina… something. Maybe Minato?
You sigh. “I can talk. I just don’t have a lot to say,” You explain to the very bewildered girl standing over where you’re sitting in the grass. Megumi starts to climb to his feet beside you, but you’re more focused on the other girl who’s rapidly approaching the three of you.
“Minako!” Ah, that’s her name. “You shouldn’t talk to them,” the girl rushes to Minako’s side, pulling her backwards by the shoulder.
Minako robotically turns her head to the other girl and points at you. “He spoke!”
Megumi steps slightly in front of you. “Come on Minako, let’s go play somewhere else!” the other girl yanks on Minako’s arm.
She looks at you, wide-eyed as she’s dragged away. “I didn’t know he could talk!” Minako babbles to the other girl.
Megumi releases a huff of air, then plops down onto the grass beside you. You listen in on the girls long after they leave hearing range. “No one knew, cause we don’t talk to the twins. They’re scary.” The other girl supplies. You suppress a giggle.
“Well yeah, Megumi is a little scary and mean, but Mitsuo seemed okay?” Minako wonders aloud. You look up at Megumi. Scary? No way.
“They’re never apart. If one of them is there, then so is the other. It’s not possible to talk to Mitsuo without Megumi being there,” the other girl states matter-of-factly.
You stop listening after falling into a puddle of laughter. Megumi looks at you with a confused but fond face.
———————————
The money that Mom had left the three of you with before leaving is starting to run out. Not that it was a whole lot in the first place, but Tsumiki had worked to make that pitiful amount stretch as long as possible.
It’s been almost a month now, and getting groceries was becoming difficult to afford, even with the sales and coupons. More often than not, you all go to school without bentos.
Other than the lack of food and money, not a whole lot has changed with the disappearance of Mom. You washed the rice, Tsumiki cut the vegetables, and Megumistirred the pan.
Tsumiki still reads to the two of you when you get bored. You still steal Megumi’s coloring books and fill in the pages. You still clean up the fur of Gumi’s shadow dog, and you still hear muted whispers in the back of your head.
Tsumiki insists that we can’t miss school, even if we’re hungry. So now not only are dinners less filling, but they’re followed by trying to work through the small packets of homework that Miss Inoue gave to you and Megumi. Tsumiki is trying to helpfully explain how to solve this math problem, but is interrupted by a knock at the door.
The three of you exchange wary glances, and Megumi stands to go answer it. None of you can reach the peephole anyways. He opens the door just wide enough that you can peek through the opening at whoever was knocking.
You’re greeted by a set of very blue, very wide eyes. “Ah. There’s three of you?”