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Chapter Text

Keep

It doesn't look promising at all. 

Velvette of the Vees is typing on her phone, paying no attention to anyone else. Valentino is flirting with the assistant who brought the drinks and is supposed to be taking notes, trying to convince her to come to his studio for an ‘audition’. As for Vox, he keeps looking at the monitors on the other side of the room.

The fact that Keep herself is deeply hungover doesn’t help at all.

« Remind me again why you're here? » asks the CEO of Vox Industries, without bothering to look at her. 

Keep barely suppresses a wince of pain. Everything here assaults her: the garish colors, the bright neon lights, Vox's voice... even the sound of Velvette’s manicured nails typing on her phone. 

In retrospect, she probably shouldn't have had so much beelzejuice last night. Or better yet, not gone to the party at all. But, come on, it was The hot event in Pride to celebrate the launch of Verosika's new album. And how many opportunities does a mere Sinner have to see Hell's most (in)famous popstar and the Deadly Sin of Gluttony at the same time, eh?

She takes a sip of water and smiles, even though nobody is looking at her. 

« Actually, I came here to pitch you a new show. Something that has never been done before! »

« Miss… » declares Vox of the Vees with a perfunctory smile that doesn't reach his eyes, still fixed on the monitors. 

« Poughkeepsie », Keep helpfully clarifies. « But everyone calls me… »

« … you have to know that dozens of people try to pitch me stuff every day », he continues, as if she hadn't said anything. « And every one of them is convinced they've come up with the revolutionary idea that's going to change the game. »

« They usually make me want to claw my eyes out. Or, you know, someone else’s », Velvette adds, without looking up from her phone.

So the female Overlord is paying attention, after all. Keep doesn't know if it's good news or bad.

These Vees Overlords are a bit scary, to be honest. And she lived in the Cannibal District for years before moving to the outskirts of Imp City.

« Okay, but I'm here, so you could at least listen to me », she says, which is probably tempting fate, but it's too late to back out now. 

Vox and Velvette look at her. They don't seem at all convinced. 

« You have two minutes », says the squared-faced Overlord. 

« The show would be about a bunch of imps who decide to go against the established order by founding their own company and traveling to Earth to kill humans in the name of the Sinners. »

The idea came to her a few weeks ago, when she was in a bar with her girlfriend. One of the patrons, drunk of his ass, was talking about how he wouldn't have been executed in the chair if someone had murdered the Girl Scout who had testified against him at his trial. He said he was willing to pay good money to see her dead even now.

« I’ll give it to you that it's different from what everyone has presented to me », says Vox, and that doesn't sound like a compliment.

« It's just as pathetic and lame as the others », adds Velvette, confirming that she's not convinced, in case her bored expression wasn’t conveying the message clearly enough. « Who wants to watch a show about a bunch of imps, anyway? »

Despite the fact that her head is pounding, Keep had expected this argument and prepared a response. So she gives the Overlord influencer the same answer she practiced with her girlfriend yesterday morning in bed:

« Actually... I think a lot of Sinners would. You know, they're always complaining that working conditions in Hell are insane, that they should go on strike, and blah blah blah? Imagine if there was a show that said, ‘See? These imps played the game and found a way out. They didn't succeed, far from it, but they did manage to make something of their lives. And they’re just imps. Imagine what you could do if you put your mind to it.’ »

« Uh... maybe », says Vox after a few seconds, giving her a thoughtful look. « What would happen to these imps? » 

That’s the part Keep knows by heart. She repeated her idea over, and over again, so she got this to the T.

« Well... the boss... the show would be called Helluva Boss and would center on him, by the way... he's that lambda imp, okay? He's not particularly attractive, he's got large burn scars on his face and hands, no hair, pretty eyes, but that's about it…’

« Uh... looks like you've got someone special in mind », Velvette comments, raising an eyebrow.

« As a matter of fact, yeah, I do. I saw this imp in a community theater the other day. He was pretty good. And he had that kind of infectious energy, I think he'd be perfect for the part… »

« Didn't ask for the details. Go on! » Velvette says, with a twirl of her hand. 

« Anyway, that imp boss, he’s got game, so he managed to screw some rich, sexy guy and steal some kind of magical artifact that allows him and his crew to go to Earth and kill humans. And the best part is, instead of killing him for the theft, the rich, sexy guy asks for more. »

Vox and Velvette exchange a look.

« Sorry to break it to you, sister, but nobody's going to believe some hideous imp managed to bang a rich hottie », says the female Overlord with a wry smile.

« They will if the actor playing the rich hottie is convincing enough. Plus, it would reinforce the message. It would be like saying to viewers, 'Hey, if that guy can bang that bombshell, you've totally got a chance with him.' You’d be selling them the dream. That's a rare commodity in Hell. »

« Um... Maybe I could talk to Stolas about it », Vox says thoughtfully. « I heard he just got out of rehab and his agent is looking for something discreet to keep him out of Hellywood until he finishes the program, or something. And you know Stolas, he could sell a luxury ticket for a cruise in Envy to a Sinner! »

Keep opens her eyes wide. Not only is Stolas Goetia a total hottie (even she finds him attractive and she's as gay as can be), he's also the Sinners' number one darling. His action movies aren't always top quality, but they make a lot of money, because his fans are willing to watch any movie he's in. With him, the series would be a total success. 

« Stolas? Who cares about that fucking OWL BITCH? » suddenly screams Valentino as he throws his coffee cup at the wall, where it explodes into a ton of tiny splinters. 

« Good job. Looks like you've managed to break your boy toy again… » says Velvette, with a cutting smile at Vox. 

The square-faced Overlord sighs heavily. Putting a smile on his face, he stands up and walks over to his partner, who has crossed his arms and looks furious. It would seem that the rumors about the messy situation between Vox and Valentino after the former’s brief affair with Stolas Goetia weren't rumors after all…

« Val, Val, Val », Vox says coaxingly, taking the other Overlord's head in his hands. « You know I don't care about that guy. It was just a one-night stand. But you have to admit, he's extremely bankable. Imagine all the money we could make in advertising! Not to mention the extra influence it would give us. »

« I don't care », grumbles the moth Overlord, looking away with a sulky expression on his face.

« Besides... in case you didn't hear, he'd be forced to play the lovesick fool for some ugly imp nobody. »

A reluctant smile appears on Valentino's lips.

« Fine », he says. « But if you invite him to dinner, I'm out of here! »

« I won't. I promise I won't. So... anything else to say about your show? »

Keep takes a few seconds to realize he's talking to her again. She wracks her brain, almost dead from alcohol poisoning, and gives him the first idea that comes to mind:

« Well... we want to make it as immersive as possible, not only for the viewer, but also for the actors. So we're going to use their real names and incorporate real-life details into the show. »

As the words leave her mouth, she realizes how stupid this is. Velvette grimaces and even Vox gives her a nonplussed look.

Valentino, on the other hand, seems delighted.

« Which means Mister Look-at-me-Im-so-pretty Goetia would play himself courting an imp. Oh, I love that! »

« Well... I'll call his agent tomorrow to see if he's available for a tryout. I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you, but who knows ? » declares Vox with a shrug. « I’ll give you two weeks to come back with a test episode. We'll make our final decision on that basis. Do you think you're capable of pulling that off? »

Keep knows a trap when she sees one. And at the same time, this may be her only chance to succeed in the business. So she gives Vox of the Vees her most professional smile and declares:

« Absolutely! »

Chapter Text

Blitz

The Sinner lady told Blitz to try on the costume they left him, a black suit with red buttons, a burgundy turtleneck, black pants and black boots edged in red. It's a little too snug for his taste, but at least it'll be easier for him to get into character. Fizz always says that putting on the costume is half the job. And since his best friend is a Hell-famous performer, he certainly knows what he's talking about. What's more, the skull brooch Blitz's mom gave him for good luck completes the ensemble perfectly.

Blitz still doesn't know why he was offered a role in the pilot of this new series. He's not an actor at all. He just does improv at the community theater twice a month, because his mom and twin sister said it would help him socialize more and build his self-confidence. Apparently, that's where the Sinner lady saw him. He must have made a good impression, because she told him he was exactly what she was looking for. Which makes no sense to him, to be honest. But she promised he'd be paid, whether the series ends up greenlit, and the sum she offered him for what shouldn't be more than a day's work is three times what he earns at the library in a month . 

With that kind of money, he could be the one taking Mama, Barbie and Fizz out to a nice restaurant, for a change. He could also buy those cool, neon-colored weights for the crossfit classes Barbie teaches. And the pretty violet taffeta Mama wanted to make a new dress. He might even have enough money to buy the super fancy drawing paper and colored pencils he's been wanting to buy for months but never did, because they're way too expensive and it's not like he really needs them anyway. 

He's been waiting for half an hour, and still hasn't seen anyone else. To keep himself busy, he rereads for the tenth time the script he's been given. There’s a typo in his name; they’ve added an o at the end. Blitz doesn't really know why, but he supposes it will help differentiate this Blitzo character from himself.

(It feels a bit disturbing that the character and him are supposed to have the same first name, to be honest. Especially as he’s never met another Blitz before. But he imagines that’s because most imps don’t grow up in a circus.)

Since he's all alone and he knows the text by heart by now, he decides to practice the first bit, some sort of ad, to get a better impression of that Blitzo character.

« Hello, I am Blitzø », he declares, with a bit of flair as he's seen demons in commercials doing, before realizing he's pronounced his name, not the one on the paper, and adding, on a whim: « The o is silent. And I’m the founder of I.M.P. Are you a piece of shit that got yourself sent to Hell, or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?! »

Little by little, the character begins to take shape in his mind. It's clear that this Blitzø with the silent o is a bit of a drama queen who makes a lot of unnecessary gestures while talking. Okay, Blitz is probably going a little overboard with it but he'll tone it down once he's in front of the cam…

« It's perfect! Absolutely perfect! Don't change a thing! »

Startled, he realizes that the Sinner lady is back, along with two other imps, a pretty female with a slight gap between her teeth and a small freckled man with a standoffish expression. There's also a young female hellhound, who gives him a shy smile. 

« Blitz, let me introduce you to the rest of the gang. This is Millie. »

« Heya! » says the female imp in a strong Wrathian accent, shaking his hand with great enthusiasm.

« This is Maxxie… »

« Actually », replies the freckled little imp in a posh accent, lips pursed in disapproval, « my name is Moxxie . I'm a stage actor. I took Duke Buné's classes. »

Blitzø has no idea who this Duke is supposed to be, but if he's a nobleman, he's bound to be a Goetia, which means that Moxxie probably specializes in those classical tragedies that high society loves, but which he himself has always found a little dry. 

As the other imp seems to be waiting for a reaction and Blitz doesn't want to hurt his feelings, he grimaces a smile.

« Oh. Hmm... That's impressive », he says with his most awed expression, although Millie's small smirk suggests that he isn’t very convincing.

« And finally, this is Loona. »

« Hello », says the hellhound girl with a smile. « I’m really glad to be here and I hope we have a lot of fun! »

« Me too! », exclaims Millie, with a big smile.

Blitz decides he likes these two. It shouldn't be such a bad day after all. 

As it turns out, the Sinner lady, whose name is Keep and who is the show's director, wants Blitz’s character to be even more extra. At one point, she asks Blitz to put his hand in the middle of Moxxie's face and push him away. Unfortunately, he pushes a bit too much and the poor man falls to the ground. Blitz apologizes profusely while helping him up. 

The shoot progresses fairly quickly and Blitz is having a lot more fun than expected, when Keep says:

« And now, to the scene where you interact with your Goetic lover. »

Blitz blinks in astonishment. The only thing written on the script was the letter S and he understood from the context that the lover was rich, but he assumed he was some kind of successful Greedish businessman, or perhaps a lesser Overlord. 

Not a ducking Goetia!

(His character may say the f-word a lot, but Tilla Buckzo raised her son better than that.)

« Did you hire real Goetia to play the lover and his wife? » Blitz asks for clarification, as he's still having a little trouble getting his head around the idea. 

It's not that there aren't any Goetic actors. After all, the Royals aren't the only avian demons, and apart from the 72 noblemen from the High Council and their wives, there are a couple hundred lesser Goetia who have to work for a living. But they're still very high up in the Hellish hierarchy, which means they're expensive. 

« The wife and her friends will be played by Sinners. We'll put some fake feathers and makeup on them so that they look more Goetic, and add some CGI for good measure. But the lover will be played by Stolas himself », declares Keep with a smirk.

Blitz frowns. 

It can't be that Stolas. No way. The gorgeous owl is a ducking Prince, even if he has turned his back on his Royal family for almost a decade now. He's Hellywood-famous, so the chances of him appearing in an obscure little show whose main characters are imps are as high as Blitz winning Mammon's lottery.

(Which won’t happen, because he's not stupid enough to play.)

« Okay », he says, before sitting down at his desk and taking the prop phone in his hand.

« Of course, Stolas didn't come in person because his time is precious, but he recorded his lines », Keep explains with a shrug.

She presses a button, and on the screen to the side of the set appears the gorgeous, eminently recognizable actor Blitz has had a crush on for years now, half-naked in a big, luxurious bed. 

« No, not that one, that's the scene where you're supposed to run out of the room with the book », declares Keep with a frown, pressing another button to make the film go faster. « We'll have you play in front of a green screen and mix the two during the editing. There it is; that's his dialogue with you. »

Blitz needs a few minutes to wrap his head around the idea that he's supposed to play opposite Stolas ducking Goetia himself, and his voice is still shaky as he says his first few lines.

Then his celebrity crush starts describing the extremely graphic things his character wants to do to Blitz’s, and his brain stops working altogether. 

***************

Stolas

2 days earlier …

« What the fuck are ya readin’? » asks Angie, after taking a long drag from his cigarette.

It’s been months since the two of them decided they worked a lot better as friends than as lovers, even the no-strings-attached type - which is the only kind of lovers they both ever take, to be fair, but King Baal decided to grace his estranged son with a phone call this afternoon, explaining in excruciatingly painful detail how much of a disgrace Stolas is to the Goetia name and how he dearly regrets the day his only son was born. 

What was Stolas supposed to do after that? Since he’s forbidden to take any kind of drug or alcohol because of the fucking rehab program, there’s only so many things he can do to take the edge off. 

Angie is always good to go. And he’s amazing in bed. Especially when he’s not in front of the camera. 

« Some script Wally sent me this morning », replies Stolas without raising his head. « Apparently, Vox wants me to give it a try as a personal favor. Honestly, I don’t know why. These lines look like they come straight out of a porn. »

« Let me have a look », asks his friend, taking the script out of his hands. « I resent that, Stolly. I work in the porn industry, in case you forgot, and those lines are awful . »

« Can’t argue with that », Stolas replies with a shrug, « but I sort of owe Vox one. »

« You know what would be fun? » asks Angie in a too-sweet voice, a wicked smile on his lips.

Stolas knows that smile all too well. The last time he saw it, the two of them got banned from that fancy place in the Magne District forever. Angel still maintains it’s their own Lucifer-damn fault for keeping live shrimps in a tank.

« No », he replies, taking his script back. 

‘ I want you to bend me over your desk, big daddy ’, seriously? Who says that kind of stuff? Stolas certainly hasn’t in his entire life, and three of his movies count as softcore porn.

« Oh, come on, at least listen to my idea », pouts Angel, resting his head on Stolas’ shoulder and batting his mascara-coated eyelashes at him. 

The owl’s eyelashes are naturally long. According to the last poll in Vague Magne-azine, his eyes are in the top three of his fans’ favorite things about him. The others being his legs and, of course, the chest fluff that made him famous.

(Well, the chest fluff and the fact that he was a fucking Goetia who decided to turn his back on a life of privileges - and blatant homophobia, but that’s not as glamorous - to become an underwear model, before raising the ranks all the way to action star.)

« Fine », he sighs. « What’s your idea? »

« Why wouldn’t ya make your own lines? » suggests Angel, waggling his eyebrows. « I could totes film ya! »

That sounds like a receipt for disaster, if Stolas is honest. And he’s supposed to be a good boy and do what he’s told, rather than let his celebrity friends rope him into their harebrained schemes. Between Angie’s and Ver’s ideas, he’s been banned from almost every upper-scale place in the Pride Ring. Which honestly isn’t that much of a bother, as far as he’s concerned, but makes organizing galas and awards ceremonies a bit tricky.

The problem is that he’s never been very good at doing what he’s told. Which proved a tremendous asset when King Baal told him to suck it and marry one of Duke Vual’s daughters - Stolas doesn’t even remember which, as they all tend to look alike, but costed him the role of a lifetime three months ago, that fucking Striker, of all people, was too happy to take from him.

At the same time, it’s just some second-rate show with imps. It’s not as if anything interesting will ever come of it. 

« Fine », he says, with a roll of his eyes. 

Angel lets out a delighted squeal and claps his hands.

« Yes!!! And I dare ya to make up something really filthy involving teeth… »

Stolas can already tell he’s going to regret this.

***************

Keep

Keep hadn’t expected to be called back so soon. It’s only been three days since she dropped the tape at the V Tower, after spending countless nights shaping the raw footage she had in her hands into something watchable. She can count herself lucky that her girlfriend is a tech engineer and helped her navigate through the various specialized programs she has on her fancy work computer, which means that the special effects are bad, rather than terrible.

The actors hired to play the other Goetia look like Sinners in drags - which, fair enough they are, the Sinner kid disguised as a human seems a bit monstrous and, in some frames, Blitz’s face is weirdly deformed, but she’s still pretty happy with the final product. 

At least, today, she’s dead sober to deal with the Vees. Well, two of them as Valentino hasn’t joined the meeting. 

« So, we’ve seen your little pilot and presented it to a test audience and the results are… not terrible », declares Velvette with the same bored expression she wore the entire time at their last meeting. 

« We’re willing to finance a seven-episodes first season, provided you agree to redo the first episode to allow some key changes », declares Vox, with a suspiciously pleasant smile.

Keep’s heart starts beating faster in her chest, but she does her best not to show it, as she knows it would put her in a position of weakness. 

In her human life, she was an insurance expert and specialized in finding the loopholes allowing insurances not to pay the claim.

She wasn’t exactly surprised when she arrived in Hell, even though it didn’t look at all like what she’d have expected. 

« What kind of changes? » she asks, in the most neutral voice she can muster.

« We’ll be in charge of the special effects. Yours were so fucking disgusting I almost gouged out the eyes of my assistant! » exclaims Velvette.

It’s a fair criticism, especially as Keep herself thought the same. She knows better than to admit it to the female Overlord’s face, though.

« Sure, as long as I get the say-so on the final product », she replies casually. « What else? »

« Well… our test audience didn’t like to see Stolas as the villain. The show would be a lot more successful if he was the hero », says Vox in a reasonable tone.

Keep can’t contradict him on this one either, as the actor’s fanbase is still going strong despite all his recents mishaps.

The problem is that the gorgeous Goetia has been cast as a hero in countless flicks and sure, his presence would attract a large audience, but the show would blend together with all the stuff he did before.

Plus, it’s not the story she wants to tell. 

« That’s not what the show is all about », she protests, pursing her lips.

« Well, if you want to start going full-on diva on us and waste our valuable time… » starts Velvette, leveling her with a death glare that makes a shiver of dread run along Keep’s spine.

« What if I made Stolas the love interest instead? » the Sinner suggests on a whim.

The two Overlords look at each other for a long moment. Then Velvette shrugs and Vox turns towards Keep with a smile that reminds her of a shark.

« Tell us more about that… »

Chapter Text

Blitz

Blitz is in a bit of a pickle.

The problem is, not once has he imagined that Miss Keep, the Sinner lady, would recontact him about her show.

In fact, Blitz was so convinced this would be a one-time only experience that he didn’t even mention it to Barbie, Fizz or Mama. He would have been so embarrassed otherwise. They know him too well, they would have seen right through him, maybe even learned about his secret crush on Stolas Goetia.

(Even though, to be honest, after the whole dirty monologue, Blitz is not entirely sure he’s still attracted to the gorgeous actor anymore. Those lines weren’t sexy or arousing. They were unsettling and bizarre, that’s what they were.)

So, when Miss Keep called him back this morning to tell him the ‘good’ news, he politely thanked her for the offer but told her he was no longer available. 

She didn’t take the news very well. 

Not that she was mean, or anything. She was perfectly nice, actually. She told him she understood, wished him a good day and hung up. He thought that was over.

Then, less than one hour later, she showed up at the library. Turns out, she didn’t understand, after all.

It’s been ninety minutes and Keep hasn’t left. She’s tried to convince Blitz by appealing to his professionalism, then to entice him with more money for seven episodes than he would make in ten years. He could offer Mama a luxury cruise in Envy for her 50th birthday. And buy Barbie that sophisticated steel trap she's been saving up for for months.

(She pretends it’s called a weight-lifting machine and that it’s only designed to build-up muscles, but Blitz is no fool.)

He could even offer Fizz a VIP ticket for the latest concert of his favorite band, Fuck You Dad.

And finally buy the fancy drawing paper and colored pencils he’s been dreaming about. 

(Truth is, he has the money for those, but he preferred to put it away, in case of emergency.)

But he’s not entirely sure he’s capable of delivering what Miss Keep is expecting from him. 

He’s not an actor. And it’s one thing to play pretend in a small studio with half a dozen other people, it’s another altogether to have a whole team looking at him behind the cameras. What if he froze in the middle of a line and wasted their valuable time? 

(Plus, he’s pretty sure Stolas will pull the dirty monologue trick again and he knows for a fact he’s going to lose it!)

« Listen », he says, as he stashes the new arrivals in the shelves, « I really appreciate the opportunity. I do. And it was… it was pretty fun, to be honest. But I’m not an actor, I’m just a librarian, that’s all! »

What he won’t add is that he’s a shy, socially awkward one. One who won’t do well with public scrutiny. 

« You could have fooled me », deadpans Miss Keep. « But even if that wasn’t the case, where would be the problem? You said you had fun while filming the pilot, right? And it looked to me like you were getting along with the other actors… »

« Yes, but if I was to act in that show, people would see me ! » he exclaims, the stress making his tail lash behind him.

« That’s the idea, yeah », says Miss Keep, leaning against one of the shelves, arms crossed, raising a quizzical eyebrow. « Surely, you’re used to that. I’ve seen you in your improv group. You looked perfectly fine flirting with that little imp with the straight horns… »

« It’s… it’s not the same », Blitz mutters. « And if you were there, you’ve seen that there aren’t many people in the audience… »

It’s different with his improv group, because there are rarely more than a dozen people in the room. And the other members of his troupe, Lin, Pringles, Sallie May and Kiki are his friends. Or at least that’s how he’s come to consider them over the past few months. In any case, he feels comfortable in their company and knows they won’t judge him. 

But they’re in Hell. Worse, in Pride. If the show airs on Vox One at prime time, tens of thousands of Hellborns and Sinners will see his face. His friends and family too.

This is certainly not the kind of attention he wants. 

His own mama will see him behaving all rude and crass!

« What if I promised to keep the technical team to a minimum? Me, my assistant, a cameraman, a costume and makeup artist and some bulky guy to move the props and set the decors? »

It’s the first time someone who’s not a member of Blitz’s family is willing to put so much effort into making him comfortable. Which makes saying no all the more difficult. And yet… « It’s really nice of you, but I’m sure you won’t have any trouble finding another imp to play the role. You certainly don’t need me. It’s not like I’m anything special… » he declares with a grimace, while putting the new book by An Dee, ‘My Feathered Lover’ in the gay erotica shelf, with all his others.

(Blitz might be the reason why Imp City’s public library has so many gay erotica in general, and from Miss Dee in particular. And at the same time, they get borrowed pretty much all the time. The guy is a genius when it comes to describing love and lust between Goetia and other classes of Hellborns, or even Sinners. Judging by the cover, this particular novel is between a Goetia and an imp. Two weeks ago, Blitz might have started reading it the moment he opened the box containing the arrivals of the week. And he would most definitely have imagined Stolas in the main role, even though he wouldn’t have admitted it under torture.

But not anymore. That creepy line with the teeth kind of ruined it for him.

He’ll still read it later, because he’s a sucker for romance, but he will picture someone else. Or nobody at all.)

« Actually, it’s not true », replies Miss Keep with a frown. « I do need you. I’ve told you before; you have exactly what I’m searching for. »

« What is that? » replies Blitz, frowning. 

« Can I be frank with you? »

« Of course. »

« You have the two main qualities I’m searching for in this role: raw charisma and… we’ll go with unusual looks . What I mean is, you’re neither cute nor ruggedly handsome, you have burn scars all over your face and arms and you’re an imp, the lowest of the low. Plus, your character is rude and uneducated. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you », she adds with a sheepish expression, probably in reaction to Blitz’s stunned silence. 

« I… um… it’s okay », mutters Blitz, even though her words sting a little. 

And it’s not like he’s under any kind of illusion about what he looks like. He has a mirror. Had one for years, actually. And there’s a reason there isn’t anybody special in his life.

(Well, his twin sister and best friend insists that his shyness and lack of confidence are the real cause of his prolonged celibacy, as Barb is practically his carbon copy and has never had any problem finding sexual partners, but it’s not entirely true. Sure, the twins have the same features, more or less. But Barb is a lot more jacked than Blitz is, with all the crossfit she teaches. Plus, she has no burn scars, but those cool tattoos on her arms instead, which certainly explains why so many of her students ask her out and beg her to break them in half.

Which by the way is a lot more than what Blitz would have wanted to know about his own sister, but Barb has a tendency to overshare. As does Fizz.

What he won’t say to either of them, what he’s barely willing to admit to himself, is that he doesn’t even remember when he last was physically attracted to anyone. Not even Stolas himself.)

« That’s my point! Nobody would believe someone like me could attract someone like him ! »

Miss Keep looks him up and down with a thoughtful pout.

« Someone like you, maybe not, as you seem to be a very sweet guy, and from what I’ve heard, Stolas Goetia doesn’t do sweet. Word on the Hellvine is, he’s more into the bad boy stuff, which would explain why he’s dated both Vox of the Vees and Striker. »

Blitz is not a big fan of the hybrid actor, who has a mean attitude and is rumored to be super rude with the staff every time he’s working on a movie, but he’s in love with his horse. Bombproof is the most gorgeous stallion he’s ever seen. It’s for him that Blitz drags Fizz and Barbie to see every movie Striker has filmed in Wrath.

(He also has two artbooks full of sketches of the magnificent beast hidden under his mattress.)

« Exactly! So why would… »

« But », Miss Keep cuts him, « in Helluva Boss, you’re not you, you’re him. Blitzø with the silent o. And Stolas Goetia is not himself either. »

« Unless he’s secretly some kind of pervy bird », Blitz grumbles, crossing his arms as his tail starts lashing again. 

« Who knows? », she says with a grin. « Listen, finding another actor to replace you wouldn’t be too complicated, especially since the pilot we’ve filmed won’t be aired. But I don’t think it would be a good idea. Actually, I’m convinced nobody would be half as good as you in the role. You say you’re not an actor; I disagree. I think you’re a born one. And you have amazing chemistry with your co-stars already. Which isn’t that easy. I can’t promise the show will be a hit, but I’m almost certain it won’t be without you. If you don’t do it for yourself, then do it for them. »

Blitz’s resistance to emotional blackmail is extremely low, a fact his twin sister and best friend know full well and have abundantly exploited in the past. 

He lets out a heavy sigh. 

« Fine », he says, « but we’ll have to work around my job schedule at the library. Also, promise me I won’t have to do all that public stuff! »

« I doubt I can keep you completely out of the press tour, especially since you’re the lead, but I’ll see what I can do », she replies, taking a little business card out of her pocket and holding it to him. « Come by my office tomorrow at ten, I’ll have a contract drafted by then. We’ll discuss schedules and other practical stuff. »

Blitz really doesn’t want to do that. But it looks like he’s going to anyway.

« Sure. I’ll be there. »

***************

Stolas

Stolas is still in bed at 2 pm, when he’s awoken by the ringtone of his agent. The sound isn’t loud, especially as the phone seems to be at the other end of his massive bedroom, but it still makes him wince in pain, having a massive hangover.

He totally blames Ver on that one, because she showed up at the front of his apartment yesterday night with a broken heart and a bottle of vintage absinthe. What was he supposed to do? Turn her away? She might be even bitchier than Angie, and her taste in sexual partners is almost as bad as his, but she’s still his friend.

As Stolas doesn’t trust himself not to vomit the entire content of his stomach on the tiles the moment he gets up, he uses his powers to levitate the phone right into his hand.

« Hi Wally! » he declares with fake cheerfulness, because the last thing he needs is yet another lecture on his inability to stay sober more than a few weeks.

Or in this case, days. But it was an emergency. 

« I say, I say, I have good news! » replies his agent with way too much enthusiasm for Stolas’ current state of mind.

« Oh? » he mutters noncommittally, because whether he wants to hear the news in question or not is of no consequence. 

He knows exactly how this is going to play out. Wally Wackford has been his agent for all of a decade now, and he wasn’t exactly unpredictable to begin with. 

« Well I say, Vox personally called me this morning about the show he had you do a tryout for two weeks ago. »

Stolas rolls his eyes, all four of them. Which wasn’t the smartest idea, because it makes him even more nauseous. But Wackford is always trying new catchphrases, and ‘I say’ might be his worst to date. 

Then the information worms its way into his brain and he frowns.

« What tryout? »

« Um… I say it’s a tv show called Helluva Boss? »

« Sorry, doesn’t ring a bell. »

« Something to do with imps? »

That, Stolas vaguely remembers.

« The one where they wanted me to act like a thirsty bitch? »

He went completely overboard with it, but in his defense, he never expected a follow-up. 

« I say, I say it’s the one. »

« And? »

« The role is yours. »

« I didn’t even know I wanted it », says Stolas with another grimace.

« I say, it would be something easy to get back into the saddle, sort of speak. You’re not ready for Hellywood yet, not after what happened at the last Lucifer Awards. »

« Striker started it », groans Stolas with a pout. 

« I say you and Angel Dust finished it », says Wackfored, and Stolas can hear the undercurrent weariness in his voice.

His agent might be an over the top buffoon, but he’s a good man and works his ass off for him. 

« Fine », Stolas says with a sigh. « What does dear old Vox offer? » 

« I say, I say, a role in the seven-episode first season of an upcoming show, filming in Pentagram City, standard press cover, plenty of benefits. »

« Well I say I’ll do five, I want my own room in the nearby five-star hotel with that fancy crystal water they bottle up in the Magne district, and whatever he intends to pay me, he should add another zero and a bouquet of black roses. »

Stolas is willing to make an effort to please his agent, but he’s still a Hellywood star and intends to be treated like such. Especially by Vox, who’s a two-faced bitch and a bad lay. 

« I say I’ll do my best », replies Wackford with a sigh. 

« Good man. Bye », declares Stolas and he hangs up, puts his phone on silent mode and burrows back under the covers.

2 pm is a totally undemonly hour to wake up anyway… 

Chapter Text

Blitz

Miss Keep asked Blitz to come at the end of his work day, but the class of third-graders visiting the library with their teachers were so enthusiastic and had so many questions that he closes the library twenty minutes later than usual. 

So he runs like King Lucifer himself is after him, all the way to the studio. 

At least it's not far from his work. The address Miss Keep gave him is that of an old building in the middle of Imp City, so decrepit he thought it was condemned. Blitz is about to enter when he spots a billboard on top of the nearest building. On the left, he can see his own smiling face, with the lovely hellhound girl Loona behind him. On the right is what looks like an advertisement, but atrociously misspelled, which, as a librarian, he finds extremely offensive. The text reads:

Goat an asshole in the living worlds!? Come to I Am Pee!!??! Make sure you put this sign up on the rite side. Don't fuck this up. Also payment may take a couple of weeks because it cums in the mail. –Speech to text- -Blitzo .

After one last offended look, Blitz resumes his running to the entrance of the building. The door is unlocked, and at the bottom of the stairs he finds a cardboard sign reading ‘Helluva Boss - 2d floor’. Since there's no elevator (and to be honest, even if there was, he probably wouldn't have taken the risk, given the general state of the place), he climbs the stairs and soon finds himself in front of a door marked ‘ I M P headquarters ’, painted with what looks suspiciously like dried blood. A sheet of paper obviously torn from a notebook, with a little smiley and the words ‘ meetins in progress ’ in the same handwriting as the sign at the bottom of the stairs, has been taped up with clear adhesive tape.

He knocks. 

The door opens almost immediately on an incubus with legs as long and lean as the rest of his species, but an extremely muscular torso. He has shiny white hair, pierced ears and all-black horns and wings. In each of his beefy arms, he carries a tree almost as tall as himself.

« Hi there », he says, an easy smile on his lips. « Blitz, right? »

A little taken aback, Blitz can only nod.

The incubus puts one of the trees down and holds out his hand. 

« Name’s Trevor. I'm in charge of the sets. Basically, if you need anything moved or transported, I'm your man! » he says with a wink. « You’re just on time! They're finishing up the human scenes, and then it's your turn to shine! »

« Hu... human? » asks Blitz, frowning. 

Of course, he knows that IMP are supposed to go to Earth to kill humans on behalf of Sinners. He even thought it was a really creative and innovative idea. But, come on… only King Asmodeus' tempting demons have the ability to go into the human world, using those portal crystals. Blitz really doubts that the Sin of Lust would be willing to give one to a film crew, even if the Vees asked him personally. 

(In fact, knowing how adamant Asmodeus is about consent, and how Valentino is rumored to treat some of the people who work for him, Blitz is pretty sure the King would refuse any form of favor the Vees might ask of him.)

« Of course, they're not real humans. The adults are Sinners and the kids are imps… I guess because there aren't that many kid Sinners in Hell, you know? »

« Oh, they’re wearing masks », says Blitz, trying to suppress a grimace of disgust.

He remembers the rubbery mask worn by the guy hired to play the boy in the pilot, and he certainly looked terrifying, but probably not in the way he was intended to… 

Trevor shakes his head. 

« Nah. No masks. Just a bit of makeup. »

« So how are we supposed to tell the difference between humans and imps? »

« I have no idea », replies Trevor with a grin. « You’ll have to ask the director. Or her assistant. That guy does a lot of stuff for her. But don’t let me detain you. Plus I have all those trees to put in the garden set on floor three. See you later Blitz! »

And he lifts the tree like it weighs nothing, before climbing up the stairs. Blitz looks at him, a little impressed, before he remembers people are actually waiting for him and enters the studio. 

A female Sinner with big antlers, puffy purple hair that falls almost all the way to her knees and missing an eye is posing with two implings, a boy and a girl. The three of them are covered in strange little green dots. 

« What are these for? » Blitz asks aloud. 

« Those are captors », declares a deep voice right next to him. « They will help the CGI experts at VoxTech to transform that lovely lady and those cute kids into horrid humans. »

The voice belongs to a tall imp hybrid, with curly yellow hair, a little soul patch and horns curving downwards.

« Um… Hi. I’m… »

« Blitz », says the guy with a friendly smile. « I know. I’ve seen the pilot. You were amazing! »

« Er… um… thank you? » mutters Blitz, rubbing the back of his neck a little awkwardly. « And you are… »

He’s not used to strangers complimenting him and it feels a little unsettling, to be honest. 

« I’m Keep’s assistant. And I was about to go on a coffee run, as a matter of fact. What can I getcha? »

« Oh… It’s really nice of you to offer, but I don’t want to be a bother… »

« It’s no problem at all », assures Keep’s assistant with an even bigger grin. « I’m bringing back drinks for everyone here. So, what’s your beverage of choice, Blitz? »

People being super nice to him is something he’s even less accustomed to, which makes him a bit emotional. He takes a few seconds before timidly replying: 

« Um… Ice coffee with lots of sugar. Thank you. »

« Noted. See you in a few! »

And with a friendly wave, the assistant is gone before Blitz realizes that he doesn’t actually know his name. 

« Take a sec, guys! » exclaims Miss Keep to the Sinner lady, the kids and the cameraman, a butch imp with thick eyebrows and a thicker mustache.

She leaves her seat and walks to Blitz. Today, she’s wearing her caramel-brown tentacle hair (that reminds him a bit of Envy’s giant octopi) down, which looks good on her.

« I’m sorry for being late », Blitz says with a sheepish look.

« It’s okay. You’re here now. Go into the changing room to put on your costume. That… just won’t do », she says, gesturing at his grey cardigan and cargo pants with a disapproving shake of her head. « And ask Randy to put some makeup on you, while you’re at it. »

« Um… Of course. Where is the… » he says, but she’s already back in her seat. 

Luckily, Millie (who’s as friendly and enthusiastic as when they first met) is there in an instant to show him the changing room and where he can store his personal items. The costume is basically the same suit as the one he wore during the pilot, except the fabric looks to be of better quality. 

(It itches a lot less too, which Blitz is grateful for.)

Randy, the makeup artist, turns out to be a tiny, aging imp with well-groomed hair and mustache and a white patch around the left eye. He’s a little snobbish and doesn’t talk much, but he’s really good at his job; Blitz’s face hasn’t looked that good since before the accident. 

The next scene is between him and Mrs. Mayberry, the first person to hire IMP in the show. Her name is Maggie, but apparently they won’t use it for the episode. She’s a pink-skinned Sinner with red eyes and lavender hooves and she seems incredibly nice.

Until Miss Keep exclaims « Hire IMP: take 1 » and Mrs Mayberry suddenly turns to a seething harpy. It makes it easier for Blitz to get into character. And in his opinion Blitzø with the silent o has become even more unpleasant since the pilot. 

« I mean, was she hotter? » he asks with a vicious grin, after she explains her reason to hire a team of assassins to get rid of her nemesis. « I’m just saying, I had a hard time understanding the unprompted melodrama you just spat at me, tits. »

Mrs. Mayberry’s expression turns into pure hatred and she’s suddenly surrounded by a red aura. Blitz had no idea Sinners could do such a thing and finds it so impressive he almost breaks character. 

« Anyway, I don't think you quite understand how we're operating down here. See, we take revenge out on the living, and it sounds like the core cast of your sitcom of death… frankly are all probably down here in Hell with you. »

Mrs. Mayberry seems so furious that, on a whim, Blitz boops her on the nose, going so far as making the sound. 

She blinks a few times, then starts laughing. He can hear giggles on the side coming from Millie (who gives him a thumbs-up) and Loona, who grins widely. 

Moxxie doesn’t seem the least bit amused. 

« Loved it! » declares Miss Keep. « Let’s start again from ‘Anyway, I don’t think…’! Ready? Hire IMP, take two! »

They need three more takes to finally get the scene right, and move on to the next one, which is supposed to take place in IMP’s meeting room, the office having been reorganized since the pilot. The meeting room and Blitzø’s office are supposed to be two separate areas, but are in fact parts of the same set, with a dummy door between the two. A door he has to open more than a dozen times in a row for the comedic effect of surprising Moxxie enough to trigger his crossbow to be considered effective.

At some point, the trigger of the crossbow malfunctions and the arrow bounds off every single wall and even the fake ceiling, before it flies straight to Mrs. Mayberry’s face. Blitzo catches it with one hand.

There’s absolute silence for a very long moment, then Millie claps loudly.

« That was amazing ! » exclaims Loona with a big grin, her tail wagging in excitement.

Moxxie himself seems impressed, although he’s more busy apologizing profusely to Mrs. Mayberry.

« That was great!!! » declares Miss Keep. « How did you manage that? »

« I… um… grew up in a circus? » 

« How about that! Joe, do you have the whole scene on tape? »

The cameraman lets out an approving little grunt and Miss Keep smiles widely.

« Perfect. We’ll go straight to the final scene of the episode and then go outside for the scenes with Mrs. Mayberry leaving and the opening of the portal to the human world. »

The scenes in question go without a hitch and with very few takes, even though Blitz has to eat two full slices of strawberry cake, which is a flavor he really dislikes. He doesn’t complain, especially as poor Moxxie gets Blitz’s hand on his face twice and is even pushed on the ground, as apparently the test audience really liked that scene from the pilot. 

Then they move to the ‘Earth’ garden set and Blitz is faced with his most difficult ordeal yet.

Because once again, he has to interact with that thirsty Stolas character… 

***************

Stolas

« Come on, Stolas, I say this time, you have to be there in person! » 

Wackford sounds almost desperate. Stolas feels a bit guilty for putting the poor guy through so much, but not enough to actually comply. Not only does he know how much his agent earns on each of his contracts, but he’s still a little annoyed that Vox basically tricked him into accepting a role in some obscure little show that people will forget quicker than what they had for lunch. He should have known that money would never be an issue for the Vees and asked for something truly outrageous instead. These guys are the richest demons in all the Rings, Mammon excepted, after all. 

This whole situation reminds him of a discussion he had with Ver not long after he broke things off with Vox, as a matter of fact. 

It all started when the overlord invited Stolas to dinner to discuss a potential role in an upcoming film. After the meal, Vox suggested they come back to his hotel room. Had he even implied it was mandatory to get the part, Stolas would have thrown his absinthe into his square face and left. But the overlord was being very charming and kept making subtle innuendos about how talented he was in bed and, well, Stolas had nothing better to do at the time. Plus, he always wondered if the Vees lived in as much luxury as Angie always pretended they did. And since Velvette has always been totally unattractive to him, both as a potential friend and lover and he wouldn’t have approached Valentino with a ten-foot pole if his life depended on it, Vox was his only chance. 

Unfortunately, the overlord largely overestimated his bedroom skills, whether his partners never dared telling him the truth or because they were just as lousy as he is, Stolas isn’t sure. But in any case, he didn’t enjoy his time with the squared-face man at all. He nonetheless slept with him three more times over a period of two weeks, essentially because he really liked his bathtub and half-imp half-incubus butler, then realized he didn’t need to put up with his shit at all, broke things up relatively amicably, ordered his own bathtub and didn’t think about Vox after that. 

Except, when he told Ver about the whole thing, she said:

« You should have pretended a bit more. You’re a great actor, Stolas. He would have bought it if you only tried. Those rich, powerful men, they’re all the same. They need their fragile little egos stroked regularly to be happy. And you don’t want to make an enemy of the Vees, gorgeous . »

« If Vox did actually take the time to stroke some parts of my body properly, I might have been more tempted to stroke his ego in return. I know I’m just another bed notch to these people. They love to boast that they ‘had the Stolas Goetia’. The least they can do in return is offer me a good time », he replied sulkily. 

Ver shrugged and they went on with their conversation.

But suddenly, he wonders if the break-up was as amicable as he initially thought and if this little show isn’t some kind of payback, after all. Maybe he could have simulated at least one orgasm. But he really didn’t feel like it at the time. Vox was too rough in bed, and not even in the fun way. 

Besides, it might have nothing to do with sex. Maybe it’s just Vox getting revenge because Stolas bought out his butler from under him. 

« Do I? » he replies in his sweetest tone. 

« I say! Vox gave you everything you’ve asked for. Money, a private suite in Imp City’s best hotel and two dozen blood roses. »

Fair point. The problem is, Stolas doesn’t like blood roses that much. He much prefers moon blooms or demon-eating plants. Blood roses look beautiful but they wane within a few days, letting out a disgusting rotten smell. They just happen to be insanely expensive. And Stolas will do everything in his power to throw a wrench in Vox’s gear. Well, everything without actually breaching his contract. Vox might only try to annoy him, but Stolas knows the Vees’ lawyers wouldn’t hesitate to chew him alive if he gave them the opportunity. Unfortunately for them, he is really good with contracts and knows exactly how far he can go. 

« He did, but I don’t feel like moving right now. Plus, I only have a phone dialogue with the main character, Blitzy. I’ve already recorded my lines. From my bath. I’m pretty sure my half naked and wet body will do fantastically in the promotional trailer. Don’t you think? »

He used his magic to levitate the phone to take him under his best angle and asked Ver to say Blitzy’s lines, as Angel’s voice and attitude didn’t exactly match the role. 

Stolas grins at Wackford’s dejected sigh.

« I say, I’ll see what I can do. »

Perfect. 

Maybe Stolas can manage to avoid the filming studio altogether, after all? 

***************

Blitz

It's Thursday night and their little family is gathered around the table in Blitz and Mama's apartment for their weekly dinner. As usual, Tilla told Fizzies that his partner was welcome and, as usual, Fizz told her that Oz was too busy to visit. At this point, Blitz would probably start to wonder if his best friend isn’t ashamed of them, but they are regularly invited to his boyfriend's club and treated like VIPs by the entire staff and like family by Oz himself. 

(Blitz’s theory is that his best friend enjoys this little bubble of freedom where no one sees him as an incredibly famous performer, but just as good old Fizzies. Which might no longer be the case if his even more famous boyfriend joined them. So famous in fact that Blitz has to somehow dissociate Oz’s private persona from his public one in his mind to deal with the entire situation. 

Plus, Mama would probably show tons of pictures of them as kids and his best friend might not be ready for his partner to see him in his cute duckling onesies.)

« Would anyone like a second helping of lasagna? »

The three of them are about to reply positively, because Mama’s bell pepper lasagna is simply delicious, when Fizz's phone suddenly rings. Fizz gives Mama a sheepish look, as it's an unspoken rule that all phones are supposed to be switched off when they're all together. Blitz doesn't mind the least, since most of his text messages are either sent or received by someone in this room, but it's much harder for his sister and especially Fizz.

Those two more or less live wrapped around their phones.

« I’m sorry. It’s Oz. Maybe it’s important? »

Barbie rolls her eyes, but Mama nods with a gentle smile. 

« Hey Oz! » says Fizz in a voice that’s probably supposed to be a whisper, but discretion has never been his strong suit and the rest of them can hear every word. « You know I’m not supposed to… »

Blitz can’t make out what Oz says on his end, but Fizz suddenly turns to look at him with an astonished expression. 

« Are you sure? No, of course, I… Yeah. Right. Let me check. Mama Tilla? » he asks, still frowning. « Is it ok if I turn the TV on? Oz just told me about something really weird and I need to check. »

« Will this spoil our appetite? » Barb asks with a pout. « Because Blitz made his chocolate soufflé. »

Her brother grins at her, happy that she likes his specialty dessert so much. 

(The secret ingredient is a few drops of red lava pepper extract. It gives the soufflé an extra kick that makes it all the more delicious.)

« Of course, my jumping sprite », Mama replies, using the nickname she’s been using since kid Fizzies and the twins became such good friends that he was practically living at their house. 

He picks up the remote control and turns on the TV.

Later, Blitz will certainly wonder how he didn’t see this coming from miles away but, at this very instant, he simply drinks a sip of water.

Which nearly goes through the wrong pipe when he suddenly hears Stolas saying, in a flirty voice: 

« Then, let me keep it simple: once a month, on the full moon, you return the book to me, followed by a night of …paaassionate fornication… aaand you get to keep it all the rest of the time, hmm? Sounds fair, my little im p ? »

He makes the last letter pop. 

Another voice, which Blitz knows to be his own even if it doesn’t sound at all like what he hears when he talks replies, in an annoyed tone:

« Fine! Whatever! »

Horrified, he puts a hand across his mouth, then his eyes, because he knows exactly what’s coming right after. And indeed, Stolas exclaims in a creepily eager voice: 

« Ohhh, Blitzø! I'm so excited! I cannot wait to feel your slimy *bleep* inside of my *bleep*. »

Blitz had every intention to tell his family about the show. Tonight. That’s one of the reasons he made his famous soufflé, actually. He thought that, once they had their bellies full of chocolatey goodness, they would be less inclined to be mad at him for not telling them sooner. 

He guesses he can be grateful that Miss Keep decided to bleep Stolas’ insanely dirty talk, even if it’s for comedic effect, rather than protecting their audience’s ears. 

And he’s lucky she chose that excerpt instead of the one with the jelly sandwiches. He hasn’t recovered from that one yet. 

(He knows it’s only a matter of time, though. There’s no way everyone he knows won’t watch the show now.)

Even if he’s still hiding behind his hand, Blitz can feel three shocked pairs of eyes laser-focused on him.

Clearing his throat, he tries to smile and says:

« So… Funny story, actually… »

***************

Stolas

As his agent called earlier to tell him that Vox One would be releasing trailers for the first episode of the series tonight, Stolas invited his two best friends to commiserate with him. He asked his butler to prepare their favorite snacks and whip up various mocktails, as Stolas is actually trying to stay sober this time, if only because he wouldn't be in this situation right now if he had.

The snacks and drinks look delicious, as usual. His butler is a gem, so Stolas fakes ignorance at the fact both Ver and Angie have slept with the man several times. He isn’t really Stolas’ type and, even if it were, the owl wouldn't make the mistake of sleeping with someone who works for him. It would be in bad taste. But since his butler's casual fucks with his best friends don't prevent him from remaining very professional when they come to visit, Stolas couldn't care less. 

When the trailer starts, he takes a sip of virgin absinthe, which tastes almost the same as the real thing - his butler really is a magician of flavors - and munches on a rat kebab. Ver has a cosmockpolitan in one hand and the other arm around his shoulders. As for Angie, he's leaning against the couch, feet up on the coffee table, one pair of arms crossed behind his neck, the other holding a large bucket of cheesy popcorn.

« Let's rip the band-aid off, shall we? » declares Stolas, pressing the ‘on’ button. 

On the screen, an imp is leaning against a tree, hands over his mouth, while a dark figure walks behind him in the distance, threatening him in a sing-song voice. The imp has no hair but large, curved horns, and his eyes are among the most beautiful Stolas has ever seen. His somewhat tacky suit hints at a slender body, with a slim waist and proportionately broad shoulders.

In theory, Stolas isn’t really attracted to imps. Sure, he's slept with a few in the past, when he left the family palace to try and make a living on his own, but that was his slutty phase. Back then, he was ready to fuck every type of demon at least once. 

That said, there's something different about this imp in particular. He definitely stands out from the rest. 

The dark figure seems to move away and the imp sighs in relief, just before a loud scream is heard. The man pulls a yellow cell phone from his pocket and it flies into the air. 

« Dammit! » he exclaims, reaching for the phone and finally bringing it to his ear. « Stolas! This is a really bad time! »

It's then that Stolas realizes he's looking at the famous Blitzy.

« Wait… » says Ver, raising an eyebrow, as Stolas appears on screen, in his bathtub. « That's your partner? I thought he was supposed to be ugly, or something. He looks pretty cute to me. »

« Yeah, I would totes tap that ass », concurs Angie. 

Stolas can only nod, a little bemused, as the scene keeps going on screen, revealing that the imp is not only pleasant to look at and listen to, but is also a very good actor, with undeniable charisma. When he read the script, Stolas certainly wasn't expecting someone so attractive. He feels a little cheated, to be honest. 

« You know... Maybe I'll go to the studio in person, next time » he murmurs, pretending not to notice the exchange of knowing glances between his friends. 

Chapter Text

Blitz

Today, as there were no users at the library at closing time, Blitz is perfectly punctual at the studio. 

What he didn't expect was to find only Miss Keep's assistant working on what looks like a model of a pretty palace.

« Um... Hello », says Blitzø with a little wave. « Where are the others? »

The assistant looks up and gives him a friendly smile. 

« Hey Blitz. They're on the fourth floor, shooting some scenes from the beginning of the episode. »

« Oh. I see. May I ask what you're working on? »

« Sure », says the assistant, setting the tool down on a small table nearby. « This is the model of Stolas and Stella's palace, for the establishing shots. Stella plays Stolas' wife. »

Blitz nods, vaguely remembering the Sinner lady who played the wife in the pilot. She didn't talk to anyone and left as soon as her role was finished. 

He's about to ask if they're waiting for him, or if he's supposed to be waiting for them, when the assistant suddenly leaves, then immediately returns with a thermos from StarBees and a small plastic container. He hands both to Blitz. 

« What's this? » 

« Oh, since I went early for coffee break today, I didn't want you to feel left out, so I took your iced coffee in a thermos to make sure it's still fresh when you come back, and put two doughnuts aside for you. Since I didn't think to ask you for your favorite flavors, I chose one plain and one with sprinkles », explains the guy with a smile. 

It's so kind and thoughtful that Blitz blinks several times to keep from bursting into tears. Until now, only his mama had had this kind of sweet little gestures for him. 

(It's not that Barbie and Fizz don't show him their love, but they have their own ways of doing it. Barbie nags him to go to the pool twice a week and brings him greasy food whenever he's feeling down. Which, for a fit nut like her, means a lot. As for Fizzies, he's taken Blitz to every concert he's been to and bought him the T-shirt and CD each time. That's why, although Blitz’s own clothing preferences would be cardigans and jeans or khakis, he still has an impressive collection of metal and classical rock band tees. In fact, he's wearing one right now under his favorite charcoal-gray cardigan. It’s the one from the Howl to the Moon concert of the Bad Pups.) 

Impulsively, Blitz gives the guy a hug. He can feel him stiffen and worries he crossed some kind of line, but the assistant hugs him back.

« Thank you », says Blitz. « It was really nice of you. I appreciate it so much… I’m sorry, I’m afraid I still don’t know your name? »

« It’s Dennis », replies the assistant with a grin. « And it’s literally my job to make sure everything runs smoothly and everyone is happy, so don’t sweat, okay? In fact, if there’s anything else you’d need to feel more comfortable, never hesitate to ask. Helping you guys feel relaxed and happy so that you’re at the best of your acting abilities is what I’m here for. »

Blitz might be a bit of a hermit and feels more comfortable around books than people, but his sister and best friend have forced him to get out into the Ring of Pride often enough that he knows how these things work. And he can tell that Dennis is an exceptionally nice guy. So he promises himself to never take advantage of him. 

« Thank you very much, Dennis », he says, smiling back. « Do you know if I should go over there or wait here? »

« I’m not sure. I think they’re done with the flashback scenes and are currently discussing some others, but you can always go and check for yourself. »

« I will do that. And thanks again for these! » replies Blitz, pointing to the thermos and doughnuts.

He's nervous enough already, he should probably avoid coffee and he feels too queasy to eat, but the intention is still extremely touching to him. 

« No probs » Dennis replies with a wink, before returning to his model. 

Blitz sets everything down on a nearby work surface and heads out of the studio towards the stairs. 

When he reaches the fourth floor, he's a little surprised to see a one-eyed, heavily-muscled hellhound guarding one of the doors, fleshy arms crossed, a menacing expression on his face. 

« Um... Hello », Blitz says to the hellhound, who growls in response. « I’m… um... supposed to be here, I think? »

The hellhound raises an eyebrow. 

« You think ? » 

« Well... If that's where they're shooting Helluva Boss, I am. Dennis told me it would be on this floor? »

« And you are? » asks the hellhound.

« I’m Blitz. I’m… the main character in the show? »

He's aware that all his sentences end up sounding like questions, but he didn't expect to have to deal with a bouncer inside the studio. Especially not one this impressive. 

« Blitz, yeah, you're on the list », the hellhound declares, his expression relaxing a little. « Sorry for the ‘menacing bodyguard’ bit, but it's my job. Please, come in. »

Blitz grimaces a smile and enters the room. 

He's clearly in for a surprise, because the first person he sees inside is Stolas Goetia himself, towering over half a dozen people, including Keep, Millie, Moxxie and Loona, who all seem to be hanging on his every word. 

What takes Blitz even more by surprise is Stolas pulling away from his captivated audience and striding towards him with an almost hypnotic sway and the coy smile that made him famous during his modeling years. The Goetia wears a pristine white shirt without a single wrinkle that opens at the front, a fitted indigo bolero and skin-tight ripped jeans. He leans towards Blitz so that their heads are level and says, in a soft, sweet voice:

« Hello Blitzy. It's such a pleasure to finally meet you in person. »

Blitz freezes in place. His tail slowly curls around his body and legs in an instinctive gesture of protection. It takes everything in him to keep his gaze focused on the Goetia’s glowing, cherry-red eyes and not hide his face in his own cardigan. 

He knew that he and Stolas were from different worlds (of course he knew that), but seeing him in person makes him realize just how much. The Goetia is so pretty, so elegant, so graceful he might as well be in Heaven, while Blitz himself would be deep in the Sea of Envy.

« Are you okay, my dear? » asks the bird with a frown. 

Blitz’s tongue is so tied, he can’t articulate a single word, only nod. 

The fact that the feathers on the other man's chest are so alluring makes him suddenly want to touch them, to see if they're as soft as they look. Since he's not a pervert, he puts both hands behind his back.

He can feel that this shooting is going to be a lot more complicated than the previous ones. 

***************

Stolas

This day just keeps getting better and better.

To be honest, Stolas was a little worried about having to act opposite a child, as it had never happened to him before. Fortunately, Pheli, who was hired to play the role of his daughter in the flashback, is a little ray of sunshine. Sure, she's a bit much, with her boundless energy and hundreds of questions, but she's also very polite and so enthusiastic that Stolas did his best to respond, posed for a few pics and signed the two posters she'd brought with her, as her mother told him they never missed any of his films.

He really hopes that this was hyperbole, or that Pheli had only seen the abridged version of some of his early ones, as the films in question are definitely not kid-friendly.

As Pheli is a swan-like Goetia, the makeup artist had to dye her white feathers. Although she was very cooperative and remained in her chair without moving, the operation took a couple of hours, but the artist did a splendid job: you'd swear it is her natural color.

It turns out that, despite her young age and lack of experience - she's only shot a few commercials before - Pheli is extremely talented and professional. In fact, she's far more professional than many of the well-known actors he knows, including him on a bad day. So, despite the fact that he's essentially come to meet his co-star and see if the guy would be down to fuck, Stolas decides to be at his best and make the scene in which little Via has had a nightmare and he comforts her with a lullaby as good as possible. He even uses his powers to levitate the so-called magic Grimoire - this is honestly the most ridiculous idea he's ever heard, as if Goetic magic needed some kind of conduit! - and create illusions of planets and stars around them. In the end, they only needed three takes, mainly because Pheli was too fascinated by the levitation and illusions at first to act as sleepy as her character was supposed to be. 

When Keep, the director, decided that the third take was the right one, everyone applauded, from the gruff cameraman to Pheli herself, and Stolas broke into a smile, realizing that he was actually having fun acting, for the first time in years. 

Funnily enough, Stella, the actress who plays his wife, is Pheli's real mother. Even if they didn't look so much alike, Stolas would have guessed the kinship, for they have the same solar energy, although Stella's is softer, more maternal. She's also an extraordinary actress, playing the part of the harpy to perfection.

The rest of the cast is friendly, and although most of them were obviously a little impressed, they really tried to include him in lunchtime conversations, something Stolas had never done before, as he usually retreated to his trailer or hotel room between scenes. Here, he ditched his slutty red robe for his usual, slightly less slutty clothes, and told them a few amusing anecdotes about the shooting of his latest film, doing his best to keep them suitable for all ages, as Pheli listened with great interest.

And now, finally, the man he'd come to see – the handsome, sexy imp he'd been thinking about, late at night, as he played with himself, imagining what Blitzy looked like naked, how he'd touch his body, how he'd feel inside him – is here.

And he's nothing like what Stolas would have expected. 

For one thing, he's shy . 

And it’s not because he’s star-struck. Or at least, it's not just that. Stolas has attended several Hell Cons, not to mention launch parties, whether for one of his films, one of Angie’s, or Ver’s new album, and he's used to seeing people star-struck around him. Usually, they look him up and down, but are unable to utter a single word. Blitzy isn't like that. He looks Stolas straight in the eye - and his are even more beautiful in person - and seems to be on the verge of bolting through the door. 

It’s adorable . 

Suddenly, Stolas regrets he wasn’t there to see his reaction to all of his dirty talk during the previous episodes. Angie and Ver told him he was a bit unhinged when they helped him record his lines, and they're not easy to shock. So it couldn’t have been easy for the cute little imp. At the same time, Stolas is really impressed by Blitzy's acting talent. He bought the bad boy attitude without ever thinking it was just good acting.

But now he's a little curious about how far he can upset the poor, sweet thing. 

So he changes the phrase « he's the only one who can guard this body » to « he's the only one who can fuck me » and is delighted by the cute imp's reaction.

He's never seen anyone blush so much. Which is probably why the very first sentence he says to him over the prop phone is:

« Well, hello, my big-dicked Blitzy! »

He’s going to have so much fun!

***************

Blitz

When Blitz gets home at almost 11 pm, he doesn't expect Mama to be waiting for him in her robe, reading a book on the couch.

« Mama? Why are you still awake? »

He sent her a text when they finished their takes for the day, to let her know he was going out for a few drinks with the rest of the cast and crew, and that he didn't know when he'd be back. He hadn't expected it to take so long, but he had a great time with the others, especially since Pringles was cast as Stolas' butler and Stella is not only as bubbly as Millie, but she also loves An Dee's novels, which means that they ended up gushing about them for a very long time. Miss Dee's first book, My Sweet Thespian , is Blitz's favorite, while Stella prefers Adelante, baby .

« I wanted to know how it went with your new colleagues », replies Mama with her sweet smile. « And how it was, acting with Stolas Goetia. »

For a moment, Blitz's heart stops beating, wondering if she knows about his stupid crush.

But no, he must be paranoid, because Mama looks at him with her usual gentle smile, without giving the slightest hint of knowing the truth.

The problem is, he doesn't really know how to reply to her question. His own feelings are too complex to be put into words. And at the same time, Mama is waiting for an answer, so he grimaces a smile and says, choosing his words carefully:

« He's larger than life. He's got a big personality and a wicked sense of humor, but he's also very nice and he really helped me with a difficult scene. I think... I think it's going to be okay, Mama. »

« I’m glad you feel that way, my little lava pepper », she replies, kissing him on the cheek.

What Blitz doesn't tell her is that the gorgeous actor has flirted with him relentlessly the whole time. He isn't naive: he knows it's either because Stolas wants to stay in character, or because he's realized how easy it is to make Blitz blush and has decided to have a little fun with him. Either way, he’s convinced it wasn't malicious. Stolas was way too flirtatious for his own comfort, but he never came off as creepy or mean.

What's more, he was very nice, and not just to Blitz, but to everyone.

Which is a problem, because Blitz fears his crush has come back with a vengeance. 

***************

Stolas

Stolas isn't surprised to find Ver and Angie waiting for him in his living room. He'd made his interest too obvious and these two weren't about to let such a great opportunity go to waste.

He just hopes they didn’t have a threesome with his butler on his favorite couch. 

« So, how did it go? » Ver asks with a knowing smile.

As usual, Angie is more direct:

« Was the cute imp as good in bed as he looks? »

Stolas rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but sits between them, accepting the glass Ver hands him.

« It went surprisingly well. I had a lot of fun, actually. And no, not because I slept with Blitz », he clarifies when he sees them exchanging a knowing smirk. 

It turns out that Blitzy is the nickname the Stolas in the show gives his lover. The actor’s real name is Blitz. Stolas might still have called him Blitzy a few times, just for kicks. 

« So he was bad? » Ver asks with a disappointed pout.

« I don't know. I didn't sleep with him at all. »

« What? » asks Angie, his eyes round.

« How? » adds Ver.

« Actually, Blitz is a very good actor. In real life, he's a cute, shy, sweet little nerd. »

Angie lets out a disappointed sigh.

« I take it that you won't sleep with him? » Ver asks, taking a sip of her own drink.

« Are you kidding? » replies Stolas matter-of-factly. « I’m going to gobble that adorable imp up like birdseed and fuck him eight ways to Sunday. »

Chapter Text

Stolas

« Oh, by the way, I’ve got a part in your show, Stol », declares Ver as she’s applying a second layer of dark pink polish on Angie’s fingernails. 

It takes a few seconds for Stolas to realize she’s talking to him. And a few more to understand what she’s saying. 

« Come again? » 

She doesn’t look his way, but a barely there smirk lets him know that not only did she hear him, but this is exactly the kind of reaction she was aiming for.

« Ver… » he says in a menacing tone, « What the fuck have you done? »

« What? » she replies, batting her long eyelashes with her most innocent expression, which has never been very convincing to begin with. « Honestly, Stol, you should have seen it coming. »

« What do you mean? » he asks, a bit puzzled.

« Babe... you said that you found that hot piece of imp ass cute . And you haven't even slept with him! That is completely unlike you. You've never been interested in cute before. And I've never seen you chasing a guy either. You have less patience than Angie's hell piglet… »

« Keep my baby Nuggs out of it! » protests their friend with a pout.

« It's just a manner of speaking, sweets », retorts Verosika, patting his hand, before her gaze zeroes once again on Stolas. « What I mean is... I have seen you skip professional appointments because you couldn't be bothered to wait for a cab. Usually, when you're interested in a guy and he's not available, you just go for the next one. »

She has a point, Stolas has to admit. 

He himself couldn't say what attracts him to the adorable Blitz. It's not the fact that the imp is an excellent actor, although he certainly is. Stolas has appeared in sixteen films so far, and he's slept with many of his on-screen partners, but ever since he made the colossal mistake of hooking up with that asshole Striker, he's vowed never to get in bed with his co-star again, although he's more than willing to make an exception for the sweet little Blitz. But that's not the most disturbing part. No, that would be the fact that the imp is clearly inexperienced. For a start, he could barely hold his gaze when they first met. Stolas wouldn't be at all surprised if Blitz turned out to be a virgin, and he's willing to bet his right arm that the guy's a bottom. He slept with a few bottoms right after his coming out, but moved on very quickly. He doesn't like to top. Power bottom is his game, so much so that he's been called the Prince of Power Bottoms more than once. 

The first time the nickname appeared on TV, he had a very fun conversation with his father about it. Despite the fact that Stolas left the family palace eleven years ago, when he was barely an adult, his father still feels entitled to criticize his attitude. If he remembers correctly, the words ‘disgrace’ and ‘embarrassment’ were both used more than once during that particular conversation.

Besides, Stolas has never slept with a virgin. He'd rather hook up with a guy who knows what he's doing. 

And yet...

Every time he thinks of those big, innocent, golden and red eyes, lined with lashes as long as his own, that adorable blush and that beautifully fit body, he wants to devour the imp whole. He's absolutely ready to top Blitz and make him see stars. In more ways than one. 

Verosika smirks. He knows she can't really hear his thoughts; it's just her succubus powers that allow her to taste his desires. But at the same time, she knows him so well that she could have followed his train of thought regardless. 

« I’m not chasing him », he growls. « As for the cute part... maybe I just feel like changing the menu. Ever thought about that? »

And as far as he knows, there's nothing more to it. Maybe he's just tired of the broad, muscular, domineering incubi and sinners he's used to sleeping with and wants to try something new. Something with a pretty little blushing face and a sweet, gentle nature. He'll be back to his usual type soon enough. 

« Now... What exactly did you do, Ver? »

« Next to nothing, really. I called dear Wally a few days ago and told him I wanted a part in your show. After all, if he could afford a cameo, surely he could negotiate a small role for me… »

Stolas rolls his eyes. He knew it was a bad idea to share his agent's number with her. But the guy she was working with at the time, a crocodile-like Greedish demon, was ripping her off..

« I didn't realize Wackford was in the show », comments Angie with a frown.

« Oh, it was his usual cameo. He negotiates it with every single one of my contracts. Never saw him in one of my movies before? »

Angie frowns, and shrugs.

« I guess I was too busy looking at yar hot bod », he says, wagging his eyebrows.

Stolas chuckles and shakes his head fondly. 

« Flattery will lead you everywhere, my dear. »

« Oh I know », retorts Angie with a mischievous grin. « So, Ver, did ya get a cameo? »

« Please! Who do you think I am? I've got a whole episode focused on my character. Plus, I'll be singing my latest single exclusively. You should be grateful, Stol. It has a good chance to boost your show's ratings. »

She’s probably right. He and Ver have a good core of fans in common, but there are plenty of people who are attracted to the sexy succubus and not to him... and vice versa. What he dreads more and more is another unpleasant discussion with his father, especially so soon after the last one. He suspects that King Baal won't be too keen on having his only son simping after an imp in front of everyone, even if he’s only acting. Stolas shudders to think how often he'll hear the word ‘disgrace’ this time around.

« Does that mean I can come too? » asks Angie with a shit-eating grin.

« Absolutely not », replies Stolas, glaring at him. 

His friend flutters his eyelashes. And since Stolas knows that look - it means the fucker is going to do exactly what he's just forbidden him to - he adds, with a vicious grin:

« Otherwise, I'll make sure dear Emberlynn gets her little paws on your new phone number. »

This is the worst threat he could have made. The sinner girl is obsessed with the both of them, so much so that she created a joined fanclub, of which she’s the president. She also wrote countless stories on that website, Archives of our Hell, about the two of them having sex, in a way that both proves she has a filthy mind - she managed to shock Angie himself with some of the acts she described - and no knowledge of how sex works between two male demons. She’s so unhinged that Angie was forced to change his phone number three times to avoid her countless fan texts, even though he's supposed to be extra private. So far, Emberlynn hasn't managed to get his latest number, and the pink spider would prefer it remains that way. 

« Fine, I won't go to the set of yar stupid show », Angie growls, crossing both sets of arms. 

Ver gives Stolas a reproachful look, but there's no way in Heaven the owl is going to let his two best friends barge into his new workplace. Not only does he not trust them not to embarrass him in front of the rest of the cast and crew, but he's fairly certain they'd try to seduce sweet little Blitz or scare him away. 

He's not entirely sure Ver won't, to be honest. In theory, they have a non-compete pact, which means that if one of them is interested in a guy, the other two will back off, but it's also implicitly understood that if the first one strikes out, the target is open game for the others.

Except that Blitz is his . Stolas won't share him. He’ll take the time necessary to get him in his bed and peel those ugly cardigans off him to reveal the 'hot bod' he knows is hiding underneath. His suit on set might be tacky, but he looks good in it.

He does look adorable in that ugly cardigan, though. 

« Promise you won't try to sleep with him? » he asks to Ver. 

Her smile gets a lot more gentle. 

« Of course, babe. I just want to see him in person, that's all. »

***************

Blitz

Blitz is the first surprised by this, but he's really starting to enjoy working on the set.

Not only does he like just about everyone, especially Dennis, who has to be the nicest person he's ever met, Loona, who's really kind and enthusiastic, and Millie, who's just as bubbly and energetic as her character, but today the latter brought along her son, an adorable little hybrid boy. It wasn't supposed to happen, but Millie had no choice, as her partner apparently left without warning just before she was due on set. Miss Keep wasn't too happy, but Millie promised that her son would not disturb the crew or actors. And so far, he's behaved remarkably well. Blitz is used to seeing children in the library - in fact, it's one of his favorite aspects of his job - and very few of them are as calm and gentle as little Oliver.

« Want to see something fun? » he asks the little boy. 

He's so happy that Fizz decided to learn sign language a few years ago to impress a deaf man he had a big crush on. Since he needed some practice, he roped in Blitz. The fling didn't last long (they rarely did before he met Oz), but Blitz and his best friend have been practicing sign language regularly ever since.

« Yes, please! » signs Oliver in return, with a happy grin.

Blitz suspects the little boy's father of being a Greedish demon, as Oliver’s skin has a green hue and his hair is much fluffier than most implings, not to mention he only has half horns. But the little hybrid definitely inherited his mother’s sunny disposition and lovely eyes. 

Smiling in turn, Blitz pulls a balloon out of his pocket (fittingly, one of the library's most frequent and enthusiastic patrons asked her parents to celebrate her ninth birthday there, and the parents asked Blitz in turn if he'd be willing to prepare something to entertain her and her friends, which he gladly did) and starts making a balloon horse.

« My, my, darling, you have many hidden talents », purrs a very familiar voice behind his back.

He's so surprised that he presses his claws into the balloon, making it explode. Surprised by the sight, if not the sound, Oliver stares at him with wide, astonished eyes. Blitz gives him an apologetic smile.

But the last thing he expected was to see Stolas on set, as the gorgeous owl was not supposed to feature in today's episode. What's more, Verosika Mayday (yes, that Verosika Mayday) is apparently part of the cast now. Blitz can't say he's a big fan of her songs, which are a little too explicit for his taste, but he knows Barb has a crush on the gorgeous succubus.

Would it be in bad taste to ask her to sign an autograph for his twin?

(Probably, but at the same time, when Barb watches the episode, she'll be super pissed if he didn't manage to get her at least an autograph from Miss Mayday. And nobody wants a pissed-off Barb, that's for sure).

« Um... Hello Stolas. Hello... M-miss Mayday. »

The pink succubus gives him a beautiful smile and says:

« Please don't mind us. I'm sure this little boy can't wait to have his balloon pet. »

Oliver must know how to read lips, because he nods eagerly. With his heart beating a little too fast in his chest, Blitz takes another balloon from his pocket and tries to shape it properly, but it explodes again. In the end, not only does it take him three more tries to produce the horse, but he forgot to give it legs. Unfortunately, by the time he realizes his mistake, it's too late, as Oliver has already grabbed it with one hand, signing « thank you » with the other.

« Well, heh. It was a horse, but then it ate too much sugar and its legs stopped working so he had to amputate. Now, it's a gross worm horse », declares Blitz with a lot more confidence than he feels, forcing a smile to his lips.

Oliver's smile widens even more as he giggles. 

« It’s called laminitis », helpfully provides Stolas. 

Blitz gives him a stunned look. This was certainly unexpected.

« I know it's hard to believe, but I had an education at some point », declares Stolas, in a slightly cold voice. « I haven't forgotten everything, as you can see. »

« Oh. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to... » Blitz replies hastily.

« Don't mind him, he's always a little bitch when he hasn't had his beauty sleep », Miss Mayday interjects, with the same easy smile, before extending her hand to Blitz. « My name is Verosika. It's a pleasure to meet you, Blitz. I've heard so much about you already. »

She smirks at Stolas, who glares at her in return.

He’s probably not very happy with the ‘bitch’ comment. As Blitz doesn’t really know how to defuse the situation, he's more than grateful when Dennis brings him his iced coffee and hands Oliver a purple drink. Both thank him warmly.

« Can I get you anything to eat or drink? » he asks Stolas and Verosika. 

« No, thank you. Just pretend I'm not here », replies the owl. 

« No, that's very kind of you. To be honest, I can't wait to start filming », says the pink succubus.

« Well, we have a little problem with that », declares Dennis with a grimace. « The hellhound who was supposed to play your bodyguard has just come down with Heavenpox, and I have to try to find someone to replace him at a moment's notice. »

« Actually, I might be able to help with that », declares Stolas.

He leaves, only to return a minute later with the very muscular hellhound who was guarding the door last time. At least, today, he has an impassive attitude, rather than a menacing one.

« Everyone, this is Tex. Tex, would you be willing to play a small role in today's episode? » 

« What part? » replies the hellhound calmly.

« What you’re doing for me on a regular basis. »

« Sure. »

A few minutes later, they start filming, but not before Millie has placed her son in front of a table with a few sheets of paper, a dozen pencils and, above all, his back to the set. Which is certainly the right decision, because Blitzø with the silent o is as crude as ever. It turns out that Verosika Mayday is supposed to play his old girlfriend - because apparently Blitzø with the silent o is a player who easily sleeps with gorgeous people, for some reason - and there's a lot of animosity between them. The script was already vulgar enough, but Stolas spends his time suggesting even worse insults, which Miss Keep makes Blitz repeat. Judging by his gleeful expression, the owl is having a lot of fun, although Blitz can't quite work out whether it's at his expense or Miss Mayday's.

He's both exhausted and relieved when the filming comes to an end. He declines Miss Mayday's invitation to have a drink with her and the rest of the crew, but manages to get an autograph. She even kisses the paper, leaving the imprint of her bubblegum pink lipstick. Barbie should be thrilled. 

He also gets a hug from Oliver, which is unexpected but very nice.

And at least he won't have to see Stolas for at least a week. 

As far as he’s concerned, that's the best part.

***************

Stolas

« What’s wrong with you? » asks Ver the moment they leave the studio. 

« Nothing is wrong with me! »

« Not even all those creative insults you threw at my face earlier? »

He might have gone a little overboard, indeed.

« Sorry. I thought it would make the show funnier », he says sheepishly.

« Probably did », she says with a shrug. « And I don’t mind. But you made him extremely uncomfortable. »

« Oh, so he and you are so close now? It would explain why he was looking at you that way… » retorts Stolas, crossing his arms, and he hates how defensive he sounds. 

But seeing Blitz visibly awestruck with his best friend touched a nerve, for some reason.

« Oh please ! » she retorts, rolling her eyes. « Everybody behaves like that when they meet one of us for the first time. You should know it better than anyone. And in any case, he wasn’t attracted to me at all. »

A happy little hoot escapes Stolas’ beak. 

« Really? » 

« Don’t gloat, babe. He wasn’t attracted to you, either », she retorts with a smirk. 

« You are just saying that because he didn’t like you! »

« Nope. I’m willing to swear on my favorite pair of Lulubutin that I didn’t feel any kind of sexual attraction coming from him. And I’m not surprised. I know you’re not used to being the one hitting on someone else, babe, but that’s not the right type of process to go under. When you weren’t laying it thicker than your sweet butler’s nether regions, you were almost mean. Honestly, if you don’t change your attitude soon, he’ll end up resenting you. And he doesn’t strike me as the type to go for hate sex. »

Stolas dummies up as he summons a portal. Once they’re both back to his estate, he turns to her and asks, hesitantly:

« Then, what do I do? »

« Be nice. Give him space. Keep the flirting to a minimum. You might be surprised at the results…. »

Chapter Text

Blitz

Blitz isn't panicking. Nope, not at all. He left panic behind him a good two hours ago. Now he's about to collapse on his side, wrap his tail around his body and curl up in the recovery position. 

(An old Slothian nurse came to the library a few months ago to teach the staff first aid in case of an emergency, and he's almost certain he still remembers the correct position to adopt in the event of a panic attack.)

« I can't do this », he whispers, looking at Miss Keep with pleading eyes. « I really can't. I already told you. »

« I’m sorry », she replies with a (mostly) sympathetic grimace, « but the producers insisted. And at the end of the day, they're the ones paying our salaries, you know… »

Blitz understands her point of view... but at the same time, he doesn't care. 

He's not being difficult on purpose. He just really can't do it. An interview for Vox One seems stressful enough on its own, but Katie Killjoy and her co-host will be the ones conducting it, which is ten thousand times worse. They're supposed to come to the set today, watch the reshooting of a few key scenes, and then interview Stolas and him, since they're the stars of the show. Well, on paper, Blitz is supposed to be the central character, but he's under no illusions: Stolas is the only real star here, and if the show ends up having any kind of success, it will be thanks to him.

(To be honest, he would be more than happy to let the gorgeous owl take the spotlight, but apparently the CEO of Voxnet insisted that they both be interviewed, which Miss Keep sprung on him as soon as he arrived at the studio. He's been hyperventilating ever since.)

Ms. Killjoy is reputed to be one of the most vicious Sinners in Pentagram City. Blitz has seen powerful Overlords lose their cool in front of the woman. Heaven, the Princess of Hell herself seemed a little overwhelmed during their last interview. How could someone as insignificant as Blitz not make a fool of himself in such circumstances? 

« Come on, Blitz », Kiki interjects with her usual friendly grin. « You're going to be great. You're a wonderful guy, and really funny when you relax a little. They're going to love you! » 

His friend plays one of the succubi in Miss Mayday's entourage. She's a pure invention of the show, as the pop star doesn't seem to have any. She didn't even come with a bodyguard.

(Although, to be fair, Vortex is certainly imposing and intimidating enough to protect both Stolas and her if things go wrong.)

Kiki arrived early today to spend some time with Blitz, as he missed the last two sessions of their improv club. Sadly, between his new acting career, two other birthdays and a ‘book night’ at the library, not to mention quality time spent with his family, Blitz has been too busy these past few weeks to do improv on top of everything else.

(What he didn't tell her, or anyone else for that matter, is that acting in itself is already taking a heavy toll on him, and the idea of spending more time acting in front of strangers is just too stressful. )

Loona nods enthusiastically. She is the only one not yet in costume, wearing a glittery tank top, a short ruffled skirt, and pretty ballet flats, all in what seems to be her favorite color : bright pink. Millie smiles and gives him a thumbs up, as does Dennis. As for Moxxie, he declares with his usual pinched expression and posh accent: 

« There's no need to fret. You're a witty man, Mr. Blitz. I'm sure you can handle people of Miss Killjoy's ilk. » 

Blitz appreciates everyone's moral support (though he's not entirely sure concerning Moxxie's), but they don't seem to understand. He's not good at dealing with strangers or stressful situations. That's why Mama and Barbie surprised him by enrolling him in the local improv club for his 29th birthday, after all. 

(They also offered him cheese, hot sauce, and horse paraphernalia, because they know his tastes and aren't mean. At least, Mama isn't. In fact, she's the kindest person ever. When it comes to Barbie, however, the jury is still out.)

He knows that, apart from Kiki, the others barely know him. And even Kiki has only known him for a few months. But come on, they've seen how easily he blushes, how intimidated he was by Stolas... 

As if just thinking about him was enough to make him appear, the gorgeous owl enters the room, followed by his colossal bodyguard. Today, Stolas is wearing a cream-colored silk blouse open at the front to show off his chest feathers and black shorts that reveal most of his endless legs. 

(Despite his state of panic, Blitz notices that Trevor is looking appreciatively at the muscular hellhound. Judging by his smile, he seems to like what he sees.) 

« Hello, everyone! » Stolas exclaims with his usual cheerfulness and sweet smile, before focusing his gaze on him. « Hello, Blitz. »

The imp blinks. It might be the first time he called him by his name. Since they met, Stolas seemed to take great delight in using the ridiculous nickname his alter ego gave to his lover in the show.

« Hi Stolas », he says, with a little wave. « Hi, Vortex. »

The hellhound gives him a little nod and a tiny smile. 

Blitz didn't expect to see the gorgeous owl so soon, because his character doesn't appear at all in the episode they're currently re-shooting. To be honest, it annoys Blitz a little, because he's already stressed enough as it is. But maybe Stolas is just there to support Miss Mayday, with whom he clearly has a close bond. Except that the pink popstar doesn't seem to be there yet.

« I brought the big guy », declares Stolas with a grin, pointing at the muscular hellhound.

Blitz suddenly remembers that Stolas volunteered him to play Miss Mayday’s bodyguard and feels a little stupid, as Vortex is indeed supposed to be in a few of the reshoots, starting with the one when Verosika and Blitzø with the silent o see each other again.

(He's also very glad he didn't ask why Stolas was there. That would have been so embarrassing. Of course, the man wasn't going to stay without a bodyguard when he was supposed to come to the studio anyway!)

« Is Miss Mayday… » he mumbles, avoiding his gaze. 

« She'll be here in a few. She got ambushed by fans outside the building and is signing some autographs. Is something wrong? » Stolas asks, tilting his head to the side with a curious chirp.

Blitz's tail, which is swishing rapidly behind him, must betray his nervousness.

« I… n-n-nothing », he lies, not wanting to give him any more reason to mock him.

« Blitz is nervous about the interview with Katie Killjoy », Millie explains with a sympathetic smile. « We're trying to tell him it's no big deal. »

A little hurt by this betrayal, Blitz braces himself for the teasing that is sure to follow, but he is more than surprised when the gorgeous owl takes his hands in his. Blitz can't help but look up into his beautiful glowing red eyes.

« I understand », Stolas says in a soft, sympathetic voice. « I still remember how nervous I was during my first interview. »

« You... you were? » Blitz asks, breathless.

« Of course. It was my very first movie, and I had no idea what I was doing most of the time! I'd spent three years undressing in front of a camera, but acting requires a whole different set of skills that I didn't have at all. »

« It was A Walk Among the Hellhound s, wasn't it? »

Stolas smiles and nods.

« Yes. The experience was fun, but I wasn't very good at it back then. And Killjoy is a raging bitch. She tried to tear me to pieces. »

« I thought you were great in that movie! » Blitz exclaims eagerly, before looking away and blushing.

Granted, the gorgeous owl wasn't very experienced, and it showed, but his natural talent, charisma, grace, and beauty were undeniable. Blitz went to the cinema three times to see him: once with Barbie, once with Fizz, and once on his own. His crush probably started then. 

« Thank you. I’m not sure I agree, but I like to think I've come a long way since then. Anyway, why don't you let me handle the interview? »

« You'd do that? » asks Blitz, his tail coming to a complete standstill.

Once again, he’s reminded that, for all his flirting, Stolas is mostly a decent, very nice guy.

(As well as an incredibly, almost eerily pretty one.)

« Sure. I have more than a hundred under my belt, I could do this in my sleep », replies Stolas with a wink. « You’ll be a lot more comfortable after your first ten, you’ll see. »

« I don’t see how someone like me would get more than one or two interviews », scoffs Blitz, shaking his head.

Stolas leans forward and strokes his scarred cheek with the tip of a talon before he declares, in a voice that’s almost a purr: 

« Darling, I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to it. You’re way too talented and lovely to remain in the shadows. »

***************

Stolas

For the past two hours, Stolas has been dealing with a feeling he rarely experiences, and one that is quite unnerving, to say the least.  He has tried to follow Ver's advice and tone the flirting down to a minimum. But there's only so much he can do when his Blitz looks so adorably flustered and blushes so cutely. Even now, as he plays the role of the rude, loud, charismatic imp to perfection, he apologizes profusely to Ver between takes, which is the cutest thing Stolas has ever seen. He doesn't seem to be the only one, because every time, Ver gives the adorable imp the same fond smile she has for him and Angie when she finds them cute.

(Which doesn't happen very often, because cute is not a quality either of them possess in abundance, and even less so when they're together. In fact, Ver has given Blitz that smile three times more often in the last hour than she has her two best friends since she’s met them.)

Being so strongly attracted to the shy imp that he wants to lick him from head to hooves may be new to Stolas - usually, when he imagines himself getting dirty with another demon, he's the one getting licked - but it doesn't bother him in the least. Right now, the shy, flushed imp certainly looks like dessert. No, what bothers Stolas are the other feelings that accompany this one.

Killjoy and Trent arrived at the studio half an hour ago. The owl gave them a little nod and stood as far away from them as possible. The imp assistant - Stolas isn't quite sure of his name, but he thinks it starts with a T... or is it a D? - immediately approached them with his usual friendly smile and offered them refreshments, then a tour of the set, which they thankfully accepted. Unfortunately, they've been back for fifteen minutes and the bitch has already made some very nasty comments about Blitz. At least the cute imp seems too focused on the scene to hear them, but Stolas does and it pisses him off.

How dare that sinner bitch insult his Blitz ?

And that's what upsets him. He'll reluctantly admit that he often forms strong and lasting opinions fairly quickly, either instantly liking or disliking new people - usually the latter. That was the case with Ver and Angie, so it's not entirely surprising that he feels the same way about his co-star. After all, Blitz is very likable. Very lickable too, but that's beside the point. Even his protective instinct was predictable, as Stolas tends to look out for those close to him, even though he does his best to play the casual, indifferent demon rather than admit that he cares.

That’s a lesson he learned from King Baal the hard way. 

What he can't get over is the fierce possessiveness he feels for the imp. Stolas isn't a possessive man. He never has been. So he has no idea where the fuck it comes from. And it disturbs him to no end.

He's still thinking about it half an hour later, when filming is finally over and the director sits Blitz and him down in front of Vox One’s anchors. Since they didn't bring their own cameraman with them, it's the set cameraman - a muscular imp with a big mustache whose voice Stolas has yet to hear, because he seems to only communicate in grunts – who’ll be filming the interview.

« Hello, I'm Katie Killjoy », says the bitch with her usual self-centered attitude.

« And I’m… » begins her co-host.

« Nobody gives a fuck who you are, Tom », she says nastily, pushing him out of the frame, before adding without even pausing: « Today we're on the set of Helluva Boss , Vox One's upcoming show about imps, which, if you ask me, is a ridiculous idea. »

Stolas is too well trained to let his pleasant smile fade from his face. He wonders, and not for the first time, if Killjoy also had an affair with Vox. That would explain why she's still an anchor, because she's not particularly likable or even good at her job.

« I’m afraid I’ll have to disagree with you », he says in a sugary voice. « I think it’s a wonderful and very original idea. » 

« Are we to believe that someone like you could be interested in a fire toad , especially one that looks like that ? » she retorts with a sneer, pointing to his Blitz.

The imp tenses up at the slur, and Stolas can’t help but glare at the bitch, nor can he keep his eldritch powers under check, which envelop him in a cloud of black and red smoke, as the lights begin to flicker and a thousand lost souls scream in rage.

After all, he is still a Prince of Hell, even though he renounced everything pertaining to his title more than ten years ago. 

Everyone around him tenses up. Blitz stares at him with his round, unblinking eyes, whether out of awe or fear, he cannot tell. The cameraman grunts. As for Killjoy, she lets out a very satisfying shriek of terror. 

Stolas immediately controls his powers and smiles benevolently at her.

« Once again, I’ll have to disagree with you. I think Blitzy », he says, lowering his voice until it comes out as hoarse, seductive, letting a talon wander over the imp’s shoulder, then his neck, then his cheek, trying not to linger too long on his warm skin, « is incredibly talented, charismatic, and funny. Some of us certainly can't claim to have any of those qualities… »

The jab is quite obvious, and he can see the bitch's eyes narrow with rage, but Stolas purposefully maintains a sweet attitude.

What's more, he was raised among the nobility: insulting someone to their face while remaining perfectly pleasant is an art he has mastered since the age of ten.

He hears Ver snorting in the background. 

« Um... Thank you, Prince Stolas », Tom Trench interjects, taking back control of the interview while his co-host foams at the mouth with rage. « So, Mr. Blitz, tell me, how does it feel to play alongside such a talented and renowned actor? »

Stolas gently pats the imp on the shoulder and gives him an encouraging smile. Their eyes meet for a moment, and the owl could swear something passes between them, before Blitz turns his attention back to the sinner and answers his question with a bit of crudeness and an obscene joke. Clearly, he's decided to adopt his character's persona for the interview, which is a pretty smart idea. 

Most of Trent's questions are relatively uncreative, while Killjoy's are downright nasty. Stolas does his best to shield Blitz from the worst of it, but to be honest, his adorable imp is handling it like a pro. You wouldn't realize how shy and scared he is unless you paid attention to his thumping tail and shaking hands.

If he had his way, Stolas would do Hell itself a favor and tear that bitch to pieces for insulting his Blitz, but unfortunately, that's how show business works, and he'd probably end up with Wackford's death on his conscience, because his agent would have a heart attack at the thought of the PR disaster that would ensue. 

He may still have one because of the eldritch incident, but Stolas knows Vox. The man may be terrible in bed and a narcissistic asshole with an overinflated ego, but he is extremely good at his job.

Stolas would bet one of his favorite plants that the Overlord will use the footing to his advantage and turn them into a publicity stunt.

Besides, modesty aside, even with his eldritch powers, Stolas looks terrific .