Chapter Text
Blitz
Blitz isn't panicking. Nope, not at all. He left panic behind him a good two hours ago. Now he's about to collapse on his side, wrap his tail around his body and curl up in the recovery position.
(An old Slothian nurse came to the library a few months ago to teach the staff first aid in case of an emergency, and he's almost certain he still remembers the correct position to adopt in the event of a panic attack.)
« I can't do this », he whispers, looking at Miss Keep with pleading eyes. « I really can't. I already told you. »
« I’m sorry », she replies with a (mostly) sympathetic grimace, « but the producers insisted. And at the end of the day, they're the ones paying our salaries, you know… »
Blitz understands her point of view... but at the same time, he doesn't care.
He's not being difficult on purpose. He just really can't do it. An interview for Vox One seems stressful enough on its own, but Katie Killjoy and her co-host will be the ones conducting it, which is ten thousand times worse. They're supposed to come to the set today, watch the reshooting of a few key scenes, and then interview Stolas and him, since they're the stars of the show. Well, on paper, Blitz is supposed to be the central character, but he's under no illusions: Stolas is the only real star here, and if the show ends up having any kind of success, it will be thanks to him.
(To be honest, he would be more than happy to let the gorgeous owl take the spotlight, but apparently the CEO of Voxnet insisted that they both be interviewed, which Miss Keep sprung on him as soon as he arrived at the studio. He's been hyperventilating ever since.)
Ms. Killjoy is reputed to be one of the most vicious Sinners in Pentagram City. Blitz has seen powerful Overlords lose their cool in front of the woman. Heaven, the Princess of Hell herself seemed a little overwhelmed during their last interview. How could someone as insignificant as Blitz not make a fool of himself in such circumstances?
« Come on, Blitz », Kiki interjects with her usual friendly grin. « You're going to be great. You're a wonderful guy, and really funny when you relax a little. They're going to love you! »
His friend plays one of the succubi in Miss Mayday's entourage. She's a pure invention of the show, as the pop star doesn't seem to have any. She didn't even come with a bodyguard.
(Although, to be fair, Vortex is certainly imposing and intimidating enough to protect both Stolas and her if things go wrong.)
Kiki arrived early today to spend some time with Blitz, as he missed the last two sessions of their improv club. Sadly, between his new acting career, two other birthdays and a ‘book night’ at the library, not to mention quality time spent with his family, Blitz has been too busy these past few weeks to do improv on top of everything else.
(What he didn't tell her, or anyone else for that matter, is that acting in itself is already taking a heavy toll on him, and the idea of spending more time acting in front of strangers is just too stressful. )
Loona nods enthusiastically. She is the only one not yet in costume, wearing a glittery tank top, a short ruffled skirt, and pretty ballet flats, all in what seems to be her favorite color : bright pink. Millie smiles and gives him a thumbs up, as does Dennis. As for Moxxie, he declares with his usual pinched expression and posh accent:
« There's no need to fret. You're a witty man, Mr. Blitz. I'm sure you can handle people of Miss Killjoy's ilk. »
Blitz appreciates everyone's moral support (though he's not entirely sure concerning Moxxie's), but they don't seem to understand. He's not good at dealing with strangers or stressful situations. That's why Mama and Barbie surprised him by enrolling him in the local improv club for his 29th birthday, after all.
(They also offered him cheese, hot sauce, and horse paraphernalia, because they know his tastes and aren't mean. At least, Mama isn't. In fact, she's the kindest person ever. When it comes to Barbie, however, the jury is still out.)
He knows that, apart from Kiki, the others barely know him. And even Kiki has only known him for a few months. But come on, they've seen how easily he blushes, how intimidated he was by Stolas...
As if just thinking about him was enough to make him appear, the gorgeous owl enters the room, followed by his colossal bodyguard. Today, Stolas is wearing a cream-colored silk blouse open at the front to show off his chest feathers and black shorts that reveal most of his endless legs.
(Despite his state of panic, Blitz notices that Trevor is looking appreciatively at the muscular hellhound. Judging by his smile, he seems to like what he sees.)
« Hello, everyone! » Stolas exclaims with his usual cheerfulness and sweet smile, before focusing his gaze on him. « Hello, Blitz. »
The imp blinks. It might be the first time he called him by his name. Since they met, Stolas seemed to take great delight in using the ridiculous nickname his alter ego gave to his lover in the show.
« Hi Stolas », he says, with a little wave. « Hi, Vortex. »
The hellhound gives him a little nod and a tiny smile.
Blitz didn't expect to see the gorgeous owl so soon, because his character doesn't appear at all in the episode they're currently re-shooting. To be honest, it annoys Blitz a little, because he's already stressed enough as it is. But maybe Stolas is just there to support Miss Mayday, with whom he clearly has a close bond. Except that the pink popstar doesn't seem to be there yet.
« I brought the big guy », declares Stolas with a grin, pointing at the muscular hellhound.
Blitz suddenly remembers that Stolas volunteered him to play Miss Mayday’s bodyguard and feels a little stupid, as Vortex is indeed supposed to be in a few of the reshoots, starting with the one when Verosika and Blitzø with the silent o see each other again.
(He's also very glad he didn't ask why Stolas was there. That would have been so embarrassing. Of course, the man wasn't going to stay without a bodyguard when he was supposed to come to the studio anyway!)
« Is Miss Mayday… » he mumbles, avoiding his gaze.
« She'll be here in a few. She got ambushed by fans outside the building and is signing some autographs. Is something wrong? » Stolas asks, tilting his head to the side with a curious chirp.
Blitz's tail, which is swishing rapidly behind him, must betray his nervousness.
« I… n-n-nothing », he lies, not wanting to give him any more reason to mock him.
« Blitz is nervous about the interview with Katie Killjoy », Millie explains with a sympathetic smile. « We're trying to tell him it's no big deal. »
A little hurt by this betrayal, Blitz braces himself for the teasing that is sure to follow, but he is more than surprised when the gorgeous owl takes his hands in his. Blitz can't help but look up into his beautiful glowing red eyes.
« I understand », Stolas says in a soft, sympathetic voice. « I still remember how nervous I was during my first interview. »
« You... you were? » Blitz asks, breathless.
« Of course. It was my very first movie, and I had no idea what I was doing most of the time! I'd spent three years undressing in front of a camera, but acting requires a whole different set of skills that I didn't have at all. »
« It was A Walk Among the Hellhound s, wasn't it? »
Stolas smiles and nods.
« Yes. The experience was fun, but I wasn't very good at it back then. And Killjoy is a raging bitch. She tried to tear me to pieces. »
« I thought you were great in that movie! » Blitz exclaims eagerly, before looking away and blushing.
Granted, the gorgeous owl wasn't very experienced, and it showed, but his natural talent, charisma, grace, and beauty were undeniable. Blitz went to the cinema three times to see him: once with Barbie, once with Fizz, and once on his own. His crush probably started then.
« Thank you. I’m not sure I agree, but I like to think I've come a long way since then. Anyway, why don't you let me handle the interview? »
« You'd do that? » asks Blitz, his tail coming to a complete standstill.
Once again, he’s reminded that, for all his flirting, Stolas is mostly a decent, very nice guy.
(As well as an incredibly, almost eerily pretty one.)
« Sure. I have more than a hundred under my belt, I could do this in my sleep », replies Stolas with a wink. « You’ll be a lot more comfortable after your first ten, you’ll see. »
« I don’t see how someone like me would get more than one or two interviews », scoffs Blitz, shaking his head.
Stolas leans forward and strokes his scarred cheek with the tip of a talon before he declares, in a voice that’s almost a purr:
« Darling, I’m afraid you’ll have to get used to it. You’re way too talented and lovely to remain in the shadows. »
***************
Stolas
For the past two hours, Stolas has been dealing with a feeling he rarely experiences, and one that is quite unnerving, to say the least. He has tried to follow Ver's advice and tone the flirting down to a minimum. But there's only so much he can do when his Blitz looks so adorably flustered and blushes so cutely. Even now, as he plays the role of the rude, loud, charismatic imp to perfection, he apologizes profusely to Ver between takes, which is the cutest thing Stolas has ever seen. He doesn't seem to be the only one, because every time, Ver gives the adorable imp the same fond smile she has for him and Angie when she finds them cute.
(Which doesn't happen very often, because cute is not a quality either of them possess in abundance, and even less so when they're together. In fact, Ver has given Blitz that smile three times more often in the last hour than she has her two best friends since she’s met them.)
Being so strongly attracted to the shy imp that he wants to lick him from head to hooves may be new to Stolas - usually, when he imagines himself getting dirty with another demon, he's the one getting licked - but it doesn't bother him in the least. Right now, the shy, flushed imp certainly looks like dessert. No, what bothers Stolas are the other feelings that accompany this one.
Killjoy and Trent arrived at the studio half an hour ago. The owl gave them a little nod and stood as far away from them as possible. The imp assistant - Stolas isn't quite sure of his name, but he thinks it starts with a T... or is it a D? - immediately approached them with his usual friendly smile and offered them refreshments, then a tour of the set, which they thankfully accepted. Unfortunately, they've been back for fifteen minutes and the bitch has already made some very nasty comments about Blitz. At least the cute imp seems too focused on the scene to hear them, but Stolas does and it pisses him off.
How dare that sinner bitch insult his Blitz ?
And that's what upsets him. He'll reluctantly admit that he often forms strong and lasting opinions fairly quickly, either instantly liking or disliking new people - usually the latter. That was the case with Ver and Angie, so it's not entirely surprising that he feels the same way about his co-star. After all, Blitz is very likable. Very lickable too, but that's beside the point. Even his protective instinct was predictable, as Stolas tends to look out for those close to him, even though he does his best to play the casual, indifferent demon rather than admit that he cares.
That’s a lesson he learned from King Baal the hard way.
What he can't get over is the fierce possessiveness he feels for the imp. Stolas isn't a possessive man. He never has been. So he has no idea where the fuck it comes from. And it disturbs him to no end.
He's still thinking about it half an hour later, when filming is finally over and the director sits Blitz and him down in front of Vox One’s anchors. Since they didn't bring their own cameraman with them, it's the set cameraman - a muscular imp with a big mustache whose voice Stolas has yet to hear, because he seems to only communicate in grunts – who’ll be filming the interview.
« Hello, I'm Katie Killjoy », says the bitch with her usual self-centered attitude.
« And I’m… » begins her co-host.
« Nobody gives a fuck who you are, Tom », she says nastily, pushing him out of the frame, before adding without even pausing: « Today we're on the set of Helluva Boss , Vox One's upcoming show about imps, which, if you ask me, is a ridiculous idea. »
Stolas is too well trained to let his pleasant smile fade from his face. He wonders, and not for the first time, if Killjoy also had an affair with Vox. That would explain why she's still an anchor, because she's not particularly likable or even good at her job.
« I’m afraid I’ll have to disagree with you », he says in a sugary voice. « I think it’s a wonderful and very original idea. »
« Are we to believe that someone like you could be interested in a fire toad , especially one that looks like that ? » she retorts with a sneer, pointing to his Blitz.
The imp tenses up at the slur, and Stolas can’t help but glare at the bitch, nor can he keep his eldritch powers under check, which envelop him in a cloud of black and red smoke, as the lights begin to flicker and a thousand lost souls scream in rage.
After all, he is still a Prince of Hell, even though he renounced everything pertaining to his title more than ten years ago.
Everyone around him tenses up. Blitz stares at him with his round, unblinking eyes, whether out of awe or fear, he cannot tell. The cameraman grunts. As for Killjoy, she lets out a very satisfying shriek of terror.
Stolas immediately controls his powers and smiles benevolently at her.
« Once again, I’ll have to disagree with you. I think Blitzy », he says, lowering his voice until it comes out as hoarse, seductive, letting a talon wander over the imp’s shoulder, then his neck, then his cheek, trying not to linger too long on his warm skin, « is incredibly talented, charismatic, and funny. Some of us certainly can't claim to have any of those qualities… »
The jab is quite obvious, and he can see the bitch's eyes narrow with rage, but Stolas purposefully maintains a sweet attitude.
What's more, he was raised among the nobility: insulting someone to their face while remaining perfectly pleasant is an art he has mastered since the age of ten.
He hears Ver snorting in the background.
« Um... Thank you, Prince Stolas », Tom Trench interjects, taking back control of the interview while his co-host foams at the mouth with rage. « So, Mr. Blitz, tell me, how does it feel to play alongside such a talented and renowned actor? »
Stolas gently pats the imp on the shoulder and gives him an encouraging smile. Their eyes meet for a moment, and the owl could swear something passes between them, before Blitz turns his attention back to the sinner and answers his question with a bit of crudeness and an obscene joke. Clearly, he's decided to adopt his character's persona for the interview, which is a pretty smart idea.
Most of Trent's questions are relatively uncreative, while Killjoy's are downright nasty. Stolas does his best to shield Blitz from the worst of it, but to be honest, his adorable imp is handling it like a pro. You wouldn't realize how shy and scared he is unless you paid attention to his thumping tail and shaking hands.
If he had his way, Stolas would do Hell itself a favor and tear that bitch to pieces for insulting his Blitz, but unfortunately, that's how show business works, and he'd probably end up with Wackford's death on his conscience, because his agent would have a heart attack at the thought of the PR disaster that would ensue.
He may still have one because of the eldritch incident, but Stolas knows Vox. The man may be terrible in bed and a narcissistic asshole with an overinflated ego, but he is extremely good at his job.
Stolas would bet one of his favorite plants that the Overlord will use the footing to his advantage and turn them into a publicity stunt.
Besides, modesty aside, even with his eldritch powers, Stolas looks terrific .