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Atsushi didn't think he had ever felt this awkward.
He was already terrified enough just walking into the Port Mafia headquarters like it was nothing, but having to mingle with them and not say anything stupid enough to get him killed was near enough impossible.
The first man he saw greeted them (if you could call it that) at the door, and that was who he believed to be Port Mafia Executive Chuuya Nakahara. Dazai had told endless stories about how Chuuya couldn't hold his drink, that he was an alcoholic, something else about him being a "horny drunk".
Atsushi wasn't experienced enough in drinking to have pinpointed what kind of drunk he was, but he really hoped it wasn't that. He also had a slight suspicion that Dazai may have been lying just to drag Chuuya's name through the mud.
To Dazai's credit, however, Chuuya was definitely intoxicated when he met the Armed Detective Agency at the door. With a half empty bottle in hand, he swayed on his feet as he welcomed everyone to the building. A Port Mafia executive being that friendly to them was already foreign enough, let alone on their own territory.
"Here, everyone have a sip!" He slurred, laughing at himself as he held out the bottle which was thrusted with so much vigour that a little bit of liquid spilled over the top. Nobody moved an inch, until Yosano leaned forward and took the bottle from his hand.
"Ah, fuck it. I'll start." She sighed before putting the bottle to her lips and gulping a large amount down all in one go. Atsushi watched in bewilderment, sometimes he forgot that she was more familiar with these kinds of places than he was.
"Are you insane?! God knows what they could've laced that with-" Kunikida exclaimed, snatching the bottle from Yosano's hands to examine the contents and ingredients. It was quickly taken from him by Dazai, who held it above his head, out of Chuuya's reach.
"Ah, the slug is too stupid to lace this." He began, sloshing the bottle around as Chuuya shouted things Atsushi couldn't understand between all the swearing. "Here, Atsushi, drink the rest of this. Chuuya won't mind."
Atsushi felt that maybe Chuuya would mind.
He reluctantly grabbed the bottle of alcohol that was offered to him, all too experienced with having nothing to deny things that he was given. There wasn't much left, and Dazai watched him expectantly.
"Don't drink it, Atsushi." Kunikida warned.
"It's good, Atsushi, just have some." Yosano encouraged, against the better judgement of a doctor.
"It's my drink!" Chuuya yelled.
"You offered it to us." Ranpo responded sarcastically, leaning far too closely into Chuuya's personal space than was safe or sane.
"Come on, slug. Let's go find one of your expensive bottles!" Dazai practically sang, as he skipped down the hallways he knew all too well, as Chuuya followed suit, still shouting about something to do with mackerels.
Two down already, huh?
Atsushi took a swig before anybody else could give their input. It made Kunikida gasp and Yosano patted him on the back. He believed that Ranpo was just waiting for them to reach the buffet.
So that was what they set out for. Tanizaki and Naomi were running late due to things Atsushi had pleaded not to hear about, so they'd entrusted Dazai or Yosano to go and pick them up when they arrived. Only a madman would walk these halls alone.
Atsushi could hear music faintly in the distance, and some loud chatter. Luckily for him, his tiger senses gave him a much better idea of where to take them to reach the main room. They entered a lobby of sorts, with a grand staircase. While discussing what path to take next, someone ran around the corner of the corridor upstairs, and began to tread carefully down the stairs as fast as she could.
"...Uhh, hi." Atsushi smiled. He knew this woman, Higuchi. He and Kunikida had helped her hunt down Akutagawa's sister, but she looked much different this time. Her hair was down and she was wearing a little black dress and some matching heels. As he noticed them, Yosano leaned over and whispered in his ear.
"Red bottoms, huh?" She tutted disapprovingly, "Someone's got money." Atsushi only briefly knew what she was talking about, he'd seen Yosano online shopping for red bottoms before, then sighing in defeat and closing the lid of her laptop.
Atsushi's greeting made Higuchi jump and squeal, having to grab onto the stair rail for support.
"Oh, hey!" She replied awkwardly, sounding out of breath somehow. "I, uh, I can show you the way to go if you'd like." She stepped down to the bottom of the grand staircase and stood in front of them, hands shyly clasped together in front of her.
"That would be nice, thank you." Kunikida replied, bowing. Polite as ever, even somewhere like this.
She nodded in response and lead the way, avoiding starting a conversation. Yosano walked ahead and caught up to her while the rest of them, the men, stayed behind awkwardly. "You look hot. Is everyone else dressed up this nice?" Yosano asked so easily, like it was nothing, but it clearly caught Higuchi off guard, who erupted into embarrassment laughter. Kunikida was trying his best to avert his eyes and look at the vintage architecture, while Atsushi just felt out of place. He didn't think he looked as good as Higuchi did, but he wasn't a woman wearing a nice, probably expensive dress. He was wearing a hawaiian shirt and his nicest jeans, since Dazai had told him people wore hawaiian shirts to parties. Probably not a Port Mafia party, though.
"Thanks, I- uh, I'm...well, it's kind of complicated, I'm actually-"
"You're dressing up for Akutagawa, right?" Yosano cut her off, smirking. Higuchi stopped in her tracks, and Atsushi felt fight or flight kick in. This might be the end of all of them. Kunikida was reaching for his notebook, but Ranpo laid a hand gently over Kunikida's arm to make him wait.
"...Yes," She sighed, blushing and hiding her face in her hands. Yosano gave her a comforting pat, whispering something that clearly wasn't for the men to hear. Atsushi and Kunikida both got the hint to stay out of it, but Ranpo seemed to miss that one.
"You haven't figured it out yet?" He asked, and it might've been an accident, but it sounded a little condescending. Higuchi turned around and furrowed her nicely plucked eyebrows, waiting for Ranpo to continue.
"Seriously?" He raised his own eyebrows, sucking on a little red sweet in his mouth.
"Just tell me!" She replied, obviously frustrated.
Not one, not two, but all three of them except Atsushi responded all at once. Yosano, Ranpo, and even Kunikida all had the same answer.
"He's gay."
Atsushi had considered it, sure. Sometimes the way Akutagawa conducted himself just made bells ring in Atsushi's mind. He knew straight guys, a lot of them, and none of them dressed like Akutagawa, either.
He'd never thought of it as so obvious that everyone just knew. Was it something he was open about? Surely not. He wasn't open about anything, and Atsushi was sure that if he was open about anything at all, it wouldn't be who he was fucking on the down-low.
Or who was fucking him, but Atsushi wasn't thinking about it.
Higuchi looked dumbfounded. She tucked her hair behind her ears and took a deep breath, smiling proudly.
"You don't know that. I know him a lot more than any of you do." She said triumphantly, turning back around to continue walking, clearly pleased with herself. Or she was in denial.
"Sure, he hasn't told me," Ranpo shrugged, crunching the sweet between his teeth, "But I am a master detective, you know? It's kinda my whole thing." He spoke with his mouth full, as usual. Atsushi could've sworn he saw Higuchi's full body twitch.
"We're here, it's in this room." Seemingly having accepted defeat, Higuchi entered the room without holding it open for the rest of them. Seems like that's a bridge very quickly burned.
Atsushi had been so distracted that he hadn't even realised how loud the music was now. Kunikida was the one to take the first step, opening the door to let everybody in.
When Atsushi stepped in, he was kind of overwhelmed immediately, there was multicoloured lights all around the room and booming music, and more alcohol in one place than his eyes had ever seen.
He scanned around for people he recognised. He knew Koyo, from that encounter with Kyoka. The last he had heard about that was the Koyo wasn't going to bother him as long as he kept Kyoka safe, which he was happily doing. She was also the newly elected boss of the Port Mafia, replacing Mori and his reign of terror.
The man juggling lemons could have only been the one he and Yosano fought on the train that day. Kaji Motojiro, what a strange guy. Yosano seemed to think so too, as she pulled a disgusted face at the sight of him.
A small group formed around the lemon juggling man, and it was made up of Akutagawa's sister, Gin, who he definitely wouldn't forget after that incident. Stood next to her, clearly having more fun than she was, was her coworker in the Black Lizards, Tachihara. He had his arm around her waist, and she was chuckling at the antics of Kaji.
They seemed somehow the least threatening so far. Atsushi decided that Kaji, Gin and Tachihara were definitely his safest bet.
The decision was made after laying eyes on the final group he recognised, which consisted of Hirotsu, the scary old man who was always smoking, and Akutagawa, sitting next to him, who really shouldn't have been inhaling the smoke.
While still being intimidating, Atsushi couldn't deny, Akutagawa did look gay. He'd never seen him outside of work clothes, but a silk black shirt, black cargos and big, heavy-looking boots were definitely doing Akutagawa some favours.
He shouldn't think that way. Akutagawa looked normal and professional and Atsushi was unfazed by his annoyingly perfect body shape.
As if by telepathy, Akutagawa's head snapped in Atsushi's direction, and he glared. Trying to avoid confrontation, Atsushi turned to speak to one of his friends, but they had all dispersed. Yosano was stood with Higuchi, who looked heartbroken. Ranpo was eating alone at the table, seemingly content. Finally, Kunikida was speaking with Koyo, writing things down in his notebook, no doubt asking her for tips on being the leader of an organisation.
Atsushi was a deer in the headlights, being stared down like prey as Akutagawa spoke to Hirotsu, never once looking away from Atsushi. He dreaded what might be being said. Was his fly undone? Was his hair messed up? There was an endless array of things Akutagawa could make fun of him for.
And yet Atsushi couldn't look away.
At this realisation, however, he forced himself to. He poured himself a drink of the first thing he could see and it was unfortunately stronger than he anticipated. Due to his lack of drinking experience, he felt a rush almost immediately. Wonderful, another embarrassing thing he'll be teased for.
When he looked up from his glass, Akutagawa was in front of him. Atsushi hated it when he did that, could the guy just be normal?
"If you want to stare at me, do it in secret so I don't have to see you. You're off-putting." Akutagawa spoke confidently and with venom, but his cheeks were pinker than usual and he looked just a tad unsteady.
Against his better judgment, Atsushi couldn't help but argue back. "Did you have to talk to me? You're ruining my Akutagawa-free alone time." He rolled his eyes and took another sip, which was another bad idea.
"I live here." Akutagawa snapped. "You're the one coming to my party and staring me down like you've never seen a real human being before." Akutagawa was in his face now, grabbing a pre-filled wine glass from the table.
Atsushi couldn't think of a good comeback right now. He just went for the only thing that came to mind.
"It's...not your party. It's a party to celebrate Koyo's new position. How self-centred are you?" He questioned patronisingly. Akutagawa gripped his glass hard enough to smash it, before he was grabbed by his bicep and dragged away by Gin, who had appeared out of nowhere. She was an assassin, so Atsushi shouldn't have been shocked.
He watched as Akutagawa was told off, and as he downed the entire glass he had in his hand, then grabbed another and pulled the same trick. What was he playing at? Was he trying to one-up Atsushi by being more drunk?
Not going to happen.
Atsushi picked up a brightly coloured, almost neon bottle with a skull on it, and put it straight to his lips like the heathen he was choosing to be for the night.
At some point, Tanizaki and Naomi must've turned up because he felt a familiar hand on his back, so he put the bottle down.
"Hey, man, are you okay? I've never seen you drink like this before." Tanizaki's voice was concerned, but Atsushi's head was spinning. He nodded in response to the question, but kept his eyes fixated on Akutagawa, who had mingled over to Chuuya, who had managed to get rid of Dazai. Chuuya was clearly falling over his own feet, showing off a bottle of wine that must've cost him a fortune, if his loud exclamation of "THIRTEEN THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS" was anything to go by.
"I'm great. I'm gonna win, so I'm great." He laughed, giving Tanizaki a dopey smile, who just nodded and walked away with Naomi, clearly not wanting to get involved.
A few seconds of peace passed Atsushi by, before he felt the undeniable presence of Dazai next to him.
"I heard Akutagawa got a bit rowdy." He chucked, raising one eyebrow at Atsushi, who just tutted.
"You could say that, yeah." A moment of silence passed between them.
"The slug must've given him that quality, poor boy." Dazai sighed, slapping his own forehead. "From what I remember, Akutagawa was always a quiet drunk...unlike some." Dazai rolled his eyes in the direction of Chuuya, who was now popping the cork off his very expensive bottle.
"Quiet, huh? It didn't seem that way at all." Atsushi just tried to make conversation as to not seem rude, really he was usually too afraid to delve deeper into Dazai's mafia days.
"Well, sure, unless you've got something he wants." Dazai shrugged nonchalantly. That was mysterious.
"...What does that mean?" Atsushi asked suspiciously, he could never quite understand Dazai's true intentions.
"Whatever you want it to mean, my little tigerboy." He smirked as he walked away, no doubt to go and harass Chuuya again.
This left Atsushi in a pit of slightly drunk confusion.
He walked precariously over to the nearest fancy red sofa and sat down at the edge, resting his elbow on the arm ledge and holding his head up with his fist.
What did Dazai mean?
No time to think about that, not before a surprisingly stumble-y Akutagawa took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa.
"Really?" Atsushi asked in annoyance. This guy hates him so much yet goes out of his way to be in his space. He'd never understand Akutagawa.
"Hirotsu and Gin told me to apologise to you." He sneered, squinting his eyes to try and show Atsushi just how mad he was.
"Well, you're not doing a very good jo-"
"But I don't want to." Akutagawa cut him off, pointing in Atsushi's face. "You think you can just walk in here and party." He continued, the remarks clearly getting lazier as his brain function slowed from the alcohol.
"Well, you can't." Akutagawa's body followed his pointing finger, and he pretty much fell into the middle of the couch.
"Yeah? And why's that?" Atsushi provoked, not a care in the world for what Akutagawa might do to him. He cocked his head to the side, like some kind of stray dog in a street fight.
Akutagawa took another sip of his glass, and Atsushi picked one up from the side table, not knowing who it belonged to, but drank out of it anyway.
"Because," Akutagawa began, his hand drooping in a way that splashed a bit of wine on Atsushi's shirt. "I don't want you here. I want you to leave." Akutagawa was inches away from him now, and his breath smelled like booze. It would usually make Atsushi turn up his nose, but his brain pushed him even closer, mixing his own hot, probably gross breath with Akutagawa's.
"I'm staying."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try and stop me." Atsushi had his hand on the back of Akutagawa's collar, and Akutagawa's hands were caging him to the corner of the couch. In the back of Atsushi's mind, there were worries that he was being watched. In the front of his mind, however, was being able to see down Akutagawa's shirt, and the overwhelming urge to shut him up for once.
So he did.
He'll regret it after, he was sure of it. Whatever came of this, Atsushi knew damn well that Akutagawa would never let him live down the fact that Atsushi came onto him. The glass in Akutagawa's hand was forgotten, spilling warm wine between them and staining both of them red, and Akutagawa seemed to just melt. Maybe a kiss was all it took to soften him up a little.
Atsushi wasn't sure how well he was kissing considering how dizzy he was, and the fact that he was kissing Akutagawa of all people, so he needed to prove how good he was.
But it may have just been the hottest thing that had ever happened to him.
Akutagawa was all over him, like a dam had finally broken and all the water behind it was spilling over Atsushi and drowning him. There were hands everywhere, sometimes it felt like so much that he wondered if Akutagawa was using Rashomon to caress him.
Somewhere in the distance he heard a wolf whistle, so at least one person had noticed. Not that it mattered anymore though, not when he was hiking Akutagawa's thigh up his waist and pushing him down to lay on his back.
"I hate you." Akutagawa mumbled, as though it would grant him more power than he currently had. There was no way Atsushi was giving up whatever he could hold over Akutagawa's head right now.
"I hate you too." Atsushi panted over Akutagawa's face and leaned down to bite the man's bottom lip. If it was the last thing he ever did, it was definitely worth it for the look in Akutagawa's eyes.
Atsushi was definitely coming to Port Mafia parties more often.
- "Should we tell 'em?" Chuuya chuckled, arms crossed as he casually watched the scene before him.
"Nah, leave it. It'll be a funnier story in the morning." Yosano replied, and Dazai hummed in agreement.
"Can't wait to see the bloodbath when they wake up in the same bed tomorrow." Ranpo joined in with a mouth full of chocolate that he'd obtained to fight off the alcohol.
"All of you, stop, this isn't funny at all!" Kunikida sighed in disappointment, watching as Atsushi practically undressed Akutagawa in the middle of the party room.
"Are you going to go up and separate them, Kunikida?" Dazai asked inquisitively, raising an eyebrow at Kunikida.
Everyone looked at him for a response.
"...No."