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As the saying goes, “all storms come to pass.” And it certainly did, horribly so. No one seems to mention the remnants of the storm, the way the damage doesn’t quite leave completely. The land still marked with scars that will only get better with time, not disappear.
The one of many remnants being the deaths of people closest to Megumi. Gojo, Tsumiki, and the others who had to sacrifice themselves to a cause greater than them.
Regrettably, Megumi was also one of those remnants. A remnant that wouldn’t even disappear if he died. He would continue to exist in the Jujutsu world of sorcerers. Fushiguro Megumi, will continue the rest of his life and death, walking in an unmovable shadow.
He can never, will never, see past what ‘he’ did. Yes, it was Sukuna who did it through his body, using him as a vessel, but it doesn’t mean that his hands were the one who so shamelessly let it happen. He just could never forg—
“Hey Megs, you alright?” a familiar kind voice breaks through his thoughts.
He remembers where he is, in the present, alive and next to Yuuji on a couch too brand new to be comfortable. And with that realization he snaps himself back to reality, not the endless void in his mind.
He clears his throat awkwardly before he speaks to the person close to him, literally and figuratively.
“Yeah, I’m alright Yuuji,” he reassured.
After the battle, going through so much with each other, using given names only felt right. Megumi was still getting used to it, while Yuuji seemed to adjust easily. Although, Yuuji had resorted to giving Megumi a nickname. It didn’t bother him in the slightest though, if anything it made him feel.. safe? No, that wasn’t the right word.. More like l—
“It’s just.. you keep staring daggers at the coffee table like a staring contest.” Yuuji added softly, seemingly unaware of the countless thoughts running through Megumi’s mind.
“Oh.” Because he certainly had been staring quite hard at the coffee table in front of both of them.
It was still morning, sun gleaming ever so softly through the windows. Light rain begins to patter against the windows then stop, as if the rain was also trying to wash away what it could.
“Sorry about that, Yuuji.” He added after what he was sure was too long of a pause, but Yuuji of course, didn’t mind.
“Nah it’s alright Megs. You’re still waking up sleepyhead.” Yuuji replies brightly with a soft chuckle.
An arrangement that had also been made per request of both of them, was to live in one of the two bedroom apartments on campus. It was usually for faculty so asking for one had taken some time. They didn’t have anyone close to them other than each other, and after all that transpired they didn’t want to be apart. Something invisible pulling and tugging at both of them to keep them close, like the gravitational force of a magnet.
Then when faculty had finally accepted their request two weeks later, they were ecstatic. Okay, well maybe an over exaggeration, but they were certainly happy.
The apartment was very obviously freshly new. The smell alone when you stepped inside was enough to determine that. It had an aroma that you could only best describe as plastic or opening a gift.
It had a decently sized cozy living area, a kitchen with appliances and an island to sit at, two bedrooms, and a bathroom that was at the end of the small hall. It was what you would call perfect for the both of them.
Living together had come naturally, like it was always meant to happen. And in that short time Megumi had actually learned more about Yuuji. He indeed knew how to cook despite Nobara making insistent jokes that he couldn’t. Megumi supposed it was because of living on his own. He wasn’t a night owl, in fact it’s like his body would shut down around 8:30 and would be working on autopilot. Yuuji had a specific type of toothpaste and wouldn’t use any others (honestly troublesome for Megumi to look for when shopping). He would shower every night, and rinse off in the morning. And so much more that is subconsciously stored in Megumi’s mind.
His favorite thing, though, was learning that Yuuji is an acts of service guy. He honestly didn’t even know how he didn’t realize before. Yuuji would make both of them breakfast each morning, a cup of coffee perfectly accustomed to Megumi’s taste, and put on a show to absentmindedly run in the background.
This was one of those mornings. A quietly serene one, one where Megumi was still getting used to waking up early again. He lo—likes, how domestic it feels like with Yuuji, platonically of course.
“Do we have any training to do today?”
Megumi finally speaks up, caffeine slowly working its way into his system.
“Nope! At least I don’t think so? Ehh, they didn’t mention anything about it last training,” Yuuji added, obviously more awake than Megumi currently.
“Mm. So then.. anything you wanna do today?”
He turns over to look at Yuuji as he asks, hoping for a yes. Because if there’s anyone who can get him out of his head for a few hours, it’s Itadori Yuuji.
Yuuji’s eyes meet his for a second before they down turn, gaze looking elsewhere like he’s thinking.
“Well I still have some boxes to unpack in my room actually..”
“Oh okay,” disappointment evident in his voice, but calmly spoken.
Then Yuuji is scrambling around waving his hands,
“But after we could play some video games.. if you want of course?”
It comes out more of a question, unsure if Megumi would want to even though he’s the one who asked to spend time together.
“I actually just got this new video game, super sick rpg y’know? and like..”
Yuuji continues to ramble on about whatever game and Megumi is just taking in his features. How there's scars that decorate his face like a messy stained glass mosaic. Not really creating an image, but holding it together instead. Like the image before shattered, and to mend it it desperately uses the scars. His lip chapped from where the scar is placed. An even bigger scar plastered across his nose that stretches towards his cheek, almost engulfing it. How his eyes, ones that used to hold the sun are flickering and are clinging to be bright. How his smile lines are painstakingly less defined. When he smiles, its more of a ghost of an image. The curves of his lips don’t reach high enough, and there isn’t that scrunch of Yuuji’s nose when he laughs. And it takes everything in Megumi to not to reach over, cross the distance, and hold Yuuji’s face in his palms.
“…So, wha’cha think? It sounds pretty interesting right? We can play after— Fushiguro?”
The name change makes Megumi finally respond. Of course there are still moments when Yuuji resorts to calling him Fushiguro out of habit, but hearing how Megumi sounds on his tongue makes Megumi not want to hear it anymore.
“Huh— Uh yea, sounds good,” his reply is obviously a bit rushed and awkward.
“Alright.. cool cool cool! I’m gonna go get to that then,” a cheerful reply while he points finger guns.
Then Yuuji is off, getting up slowly and making his way around the table to the hall on the left. Finally walking into his room and shutting the door with a click. And Megumi, well Megumi is just left there, obviously not awake enough and too much into his thoughts to focus on the now.
Unsure of what to do with his spare time, he reaches over to the table, picks up one of his many books, and flips to the sticky noted page. Now burying his head in a book, and not his thoughts that threaten to consume him.
—•••••••••••—
Yuuji opens the door with one of those fake mustache stickers,
“Welcome~ to my humble abode sir.”
He says it with an accent that’s english mocking, making his words sound upturned. Megumi would successfully not laugh but a smile still escapes his lips.
“Why are you speaking like that idiot,” and now Megumi really can’t help but let out a chuckle as he walks past Yuuji and makes his way to his bed.
“Aw c’mon man, you can’t say that my accent wasn’t a-mazing,” Yuuji brings out the ‘a’ sound.
“Yeah, yeah whatever. So where’s the game you wanted to play?”
It must be around 3pm now, but Megumi honestly couldn’t mind. If he got even 1 minute with Yuuji he’d still be content.
As he sits down on Yuuji’s bed and Yuuji loads in the disc to play Megumi can’t help but take in his space. Yuuji definitely wasn’t known for being organized and his room certainly wasn’t at all but it looked organized in a Itadori Yuuji way. There’s photo cards, polaroids, and posters that adorn his walls in a unique way. His room is jumbled in colors, Megumi swears there must be at least 20 different shades of red in Yuuji’s room.
There’s one photo specifically that catches his attention. One with just him and Yuuji, in the photo Megumi obviously wasn’t even trying to take one but Yuuji had his arm pulling him into the frame and his cheek smashed against Megumi’s cheek. The frame itself is decorated to its heart's content; blue and red stickers around the border in thought out places. It must’ve been a holiday since Megumi is dislikes taking any pictures during those times.
“Alright then!”
And Megumi doesn’t have time to react before Yuuji is throwing himself on the bed, clearly not thinking if he’ll hurt Megumi (like he’d ever). Luckily though, Yuuji only hits his shoulder and side as he lands. Then he adjusts himself next to Megumi and hands him a controller.
“You could’ve given me a warning beforehand y’know Itadori,” his tone is teasing and he says it with a grin in his voice.
“It’s not like I hurt you Megs!” as he pouts.
“Anyways, I got snacks too,” Yuuji pulls out the snacks from god knows where, he swears Yuuji was a magician in his past life or something. And Megumi doesn’t bother to question it.
“Okay, sooo what’s the objective here?”
“So basically you have to complete a series of puzzles and then..”
—•••—
3 hours have passed, and the game is long forgotten. Snack bowl halfway full and occasionally depleted of a handful. There’s a movie in the background that’s not being watched by either of them.
Yuuji’s laughing at a memory Megumi recalled. He’s laughing so hard it makes him release small tears of joy from his eyes, Megumi doesn’t even think it was that funny. But he couldn’t care less because Yuuji’s laugh is intoxicating.
His smile lines are there and evident and Megumi hates to admit how much he missed them. His nose is scrunched up from his wide smiling laughter. And all Megumi can do is be utterly devastated.
Why? Because he shouldn’t have these feelings in his stomach. The way it feels like his heart is running a mile a minute, gymnastics on full play in his stomach. It makes him feel funny things, tingly and weird things. And he should really stop it because this is his best friend, and he certainly shouldn’t be feeling these things for him.
But Megumi truly can’t help it because his worries have all fled and Yuuji’s happiness is his lifeline now. So once a smile leaves his lips he can’t help but let it show. Then he’s in a giggling fit just like Yuuji.
Much to his dismay though, Yuuji stops laughing.
“Y-you.. You laughed Fushiguro!” Yuuji is practically jumping out of his skin like he won the lottery.
Megumi stops his fit of giggles and now a light blush adorns his face, and a smart-ass reply,
“Of course I laugh, I’m not a robot Itadori.”
“Nonono, you laughed like.. with me.”
Yuuji has a spark in his eyes that Megumi can’t quite name, not yet anyways. He doesn’t know what Yuuji’s talking about at first, until it hits him that he’s never let himself fully laugh in a fit like just now. He always has his guard up, so most of his laughs come out as a small chuckle and nothing more. He also mostly laughs at people, not with them.
“Can you laugh again for me?”
It’s a plead, Yuuji already knows the answer but still asks for it.
“Wha- Why? It's just me laughing. You can hear it again some other time.”
“No, I want to hear it right now.”
The sentence leaves Yuuji’s lips more demanding than his last.
“Well, I guess you have to mak—“
And Megumi doesn’t get much farther into saying his snarky challenge, because Yuuji is already taking that challenge wholeheartedly and tackling him.
Yuuji lunges forward at Megumi and begins to tickle his sides, a desperate attempt to make him laugh again, and Megumi almost does.
He tries, really tries, to push Yuuji off of him, but raw power has always been in favor of Yuuji. His push just wasn’t enough because Yuuji blocks each one and he climbs onto Megumi, straddling him to hold him in place.
Tickle attacks come from Yuuji fast, desperately trying to figure out just where Megumi is ticklish. He tries his stomach, sides, arms, all while Megumi is struggling to stifle a laugh.
Yuuji reaches the upper area of Megumi’s sides and Megumi successfully succumbs to his laughter.
“Haha! Got’cha Fushiguro!”
“St— S-stop Itadori!” But his laughter has already filled the atmosphere.
His laughs are silly and out of breath at first from holding them back. But as he laughs more they become as clear as spring water. Cute giggles— wait can giggles even be cute? Whatever, because they singlehandedly stop Yuuji from his quest immediately. Laughter slowly disappears as he admires Megumi under him who is still regaining his breath.
Yuuji can’t help but think he’s been given a blessing because the boy under him looks really, godawfully pretty when his face is full of remnants of laughter. Green-blue eyes slowly open back up, lips slightly apart, and cheeks a shade of pink that compliments his complexion too good to be fair.
They’re breaths are mingling, both just sharing and living in the moment.
Yuuji realizes where his position is in said moment and so does Megumi. A bit too late though, because a deep blush is covering Yuuji’s face already.
“Ah!! Sorry Megs! I-I didn’t mean to do all of that!”
He’s screaming (not literally) his apology as he scrambles off of Megumi in a hurry.
“It’s okay Yuuji..” He’s close to a whisper but he doesn’t know why, perhaps not to break the moment that feels like fragile glass, or he simply doesn’t have the strength to make his voice louder.
The silence feels the atmosphere for a few seconds. Then of course, Yuuji can’t stop his rambling mouth and thoughts.
“Your laugh is really pretty Fushiguro..” it’s a whisper of a confession, only loud enough for Megumi to hear alone.
They’re both sitting on opposite sides of the bed at this point. Staring awkwardly at the TV and anywhere but at each other.
Megumi doesn’t respond to that, because how do you? But his breath still hitches, like what Yuuji said hit homebase inside of him.
The silence goes on for 1, maybe 2 minutes, and someone has to break it because it’s getting more awkward than it already is. Luckily that someone is Yuuji.
“Um, I’m gonna go put these snacks away. Be right back!”
Megumi doesn’t get the chance to respond, but he wouldn’t have anyway. Yuuji is already flying out the door, closing it behind him.
Megumi takes a moment to gather what happened, and he slaps his hands over his face because his heart must be going 10 miles a minute now. He really needs to get this checked out, he can’t be feeling like he’s about to have a heart attack each time he’s around Yuuji, his best friend.
—••—
Yuuji quickly runs out the door, because he is most certainly internally freaking out.
No way. No. Freaking. Way. He just climbed onto Megumi, tickle attacked him, then proceeded to stare at his face longingly. All the while definitely awake and aware of his big fat ass crush on Megumi.
‘great going Yuuji you idiot!’ ‘Wow he totally doesn’t think you’re weird now!’ ‘Really? dropping a compliment then dashing out the door?’ His council of voices in his head are very much mocking him.
Yuuji has been aware of his not-so-friendly longing for Megumi a few weeks after they moved in. And it really didn’t surprise him that he likes a guy like that. He had been questioning his sexuality pretty much the whole time, he supposed that all it took was the right guy.
One that has that edgy-super-cool-but-also-a-loving-guy demeanor, green-blue eyes that felt like the ocean but also a bath at home, lean and fit body, super smart (and a smart ass), pretty face, super cu— anddd you get the point.
He takes the time to mentally rebuild the clockwork in his brain as he leans over the counter like he just heard the most devastating news. Now, don’t get him wrong, Yuuji is a super straightforward guy, always a speak-your-mind person, especially about feelings because if there’s one thing he hates it’s miscommunication. So when he says that he wants to tell Fushiguro, he really, truly, with-all-his-heart means it, but he can’t help but let guilt get in the way.
Megumi was and is still hurting, still dealing with the aftermath of everything that transpired. He can tell just by how Fushiguro is stuck in his thoughts, and he pretends not to notice because he knows he’ll open up on his own time. But it doesn’t mean that each time he sees Fushiguro hurt in a way that he can’t help, or heal, he feels his own heart break more. He just can’t bring himself to have the courage to so selfishly put his feelings upfront, in front of another person—someone he loves—that is hurting from something that should be entirely his fault. He doesn’t even know why he’s able to look Megumi in the eyes still and not see any hate, resentment, or betrayal in them.
He doesn’t know when or if he’ll ever get the chance to actually say his feelings, but what he does know is that he wants to be there with Megumi in every way he can, even if it’s without words. Because actions speak louder than words, right? And he can only hope that his actions are enough.
—••—
Megumi hears the door click open after five excruciatingly long minutes. Yuuji looks like he just speed ran the 5 stages of grief.
“I think I’m gonna wash up and rest. Feeling pretty tired now..” is the first thing to come out of Yuuji’s mouth.
Megumi would hate to end the night on a note like this but he can tell that Yuuji was clearly tired, it was considerably long past his bedtime.
“Okay, I think I’m gonna do the same and go to sleep now too..”
He whispers calmly as he passes Yuuji on his way to the door. The situation is clearly awkward and he wants to leave so it can be forgotten.
“Night Yuuji,” he doesn’t wait for a response, instead he walks out the door and closes it shut. Then proceeds to his door.
“Goodnight Megumi..”
But he says it entirely too late.
The first time he’s said Fushiguro’s given name in full, but fallen on only the ears of the room, not the person meant to hear.
—••••••—
It’s 10:53, and Megumi still hasn’t fallen asleep. He hasn’t actually got any sleep in a while, he only ever reaches N2 of the REM cycle, his body never turning off his fight or flight.
He makes a desperate attempt to fall asleep again but the sounds of footsteps bring it to a halt.
As much as they said that these walls are ‘guaranteed’ soundproof, it wasn’t true. He could hear Yuuji in his room getting up and standing with a creak of the floorboards. He’s actually noticed it a few times, often when Yuuji gets up to use the bathroom. However, this time is inherently different.
He hears the careful pacing of footsteps from one side of the room to the other. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, until Megumi just can’t take it anymore.
He climbs out of the comfort of his bed that really wasn’t providing comfort and makes his way out his door across to Yuuji’s. That’s when the pacing stops, Megumi guessed it was because Yuuji had heard him get up now.
He knocks once, twice,
“Yuuji?”
No answer.
“I could hear you pacing back and forth in there idiot..”
Though the insult is lighthearted and meant to be affectionate.
Footsteps, then a soft click and the door opens, revealing disheveled pink hair, and eyes that are red rimmed and wet from tears that were obviously wiped away before opening the door.
“Sorry Megs.. I didn’t mean to wake you, I.. I just couldn’t sleep, that's all. No need to worry.”
He smiles a half assed smile and it makes Megumi annoyed that Yuuji would think that he can’t be vulnerable around him.
“Stop lying you idiot,” his eyes fall to the floor before looking back up at the shocked eyes that meet his own.
And before Yuuji denies it, because Megumi knows he will, he crosses the distance and wraps his arms around Yuuji’s body in a tight embrace. Yuuji is taken aback and suddenly doesn’t know what to do with his arms.
Then he’s whispering into the crook of Yuuji’s neck near his ear, so he makes sure it doesn’t fall on deaf ears,
“You don’t have to lie to me Yuuji, especially not me. We’ve both been through a lot, too much in too little time. It’s okay to not be okay. You’re here, I’m here, we’re both here, we went through it together and we’ll get through it together. But only if you let me help you.”
That's all it takes for Yuuji’s walls to come crashing down, he returns the hug, holding Megumi like a lifeline as the tears form and fall and continue to fall. He tries to bury his head deeper into Megumi’s shoulder to hide the sobs, and to hide from the rest of the world, and Megumi lets him.
They stay like that, just their own little bubble, in the door frame at 11:02pm, and only they exist in this moment.
“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry Megumi. I shouldn’t be breaking down like this I’m so—“
“Did you not just hear what I said idiot?”
Megumi pulls back from the embrace only far enough to see Yuuji’s soaked face and hold it in his hands like he’s been desiring to. Brushing soft strokes against his cheeks to wipe the tears and show he cares.
“I told you, it’s okay to not be okay. You’re allowed to be vulnerable with me. I.. I know I’m not vulnerable with you yet, I know that, but that doesn’t mean you have to act strong for me. Yuuji.. You’re hurting too.”
It’s not an accusation but a 100% true statement that leaves Yuuji speechless, and more tears fall like an avalanche without warning.
Megumi is still holding the fragile vase that threatens to crack in his hands, softly and tenderly. He’s brushing away all the tears that meet his thumbs and Yuuji is leaning into each touch and cracking under each one.
Once the tears finally settle into melancholy, Yuuji asks because he really needs this right now,
“Can you sleep here tonight, with me, please?”
The voice that hits Megumi’s ears is soft and so so broken, a chord of hurt strumming his heartstrings.
“Yes, of course I can..” still unconsciously rubbing gentle slow circles on the other boy's cheeks that he holds so dearly.
Yuuji relinquishes from the hug that he desperately doesn’t want to and slowly makes his way to his bed as Megumi follows. He scoots all the way to the wall to give Megumi room to lay down.
They’ve never done this, never been so close like this to sleep in the comfort of each other’s arms but it doesn’t feel all too nerve wracking in the moment.
Megumi lifts his arm up, a silent invitation for him to hold Yuuji. He accepts that invitation as quickly as it comes, leaving the cold wall behind to snuggle against warmth that’s too kind for him.
He settles against Megumi and the dark haired boy lets out a content sigh as he wraps his arms around Yuuji and lets his hand stroke his back soothingly as the other free hand combs through cotton candy locks. Yuuji can hear Megumi’s heartbeat, feel the steady rise and fall, and smell him. It brings a feeling of peace so strong, to know that he’s alive and right here.
Yuuji finds himself drifting off to somewhere safe, much like the arms he lays in as he hears the final thing Megumi whispers to him before he does,
“You matter, Yuuji.”
And sleep takes him earnestly, not frighteningly this time.
—••••••••••—
The sun is blaring through the windows of Yuuji’s room, unfortunately right on Megumi’s face. The light does no kind approach to slowly wake Megumi up, instead it shines brightly making Megumi scrunch his eyes tighter, attempting to stay asleep longer.
He finally gives up and slowly blinks his eyes awake, and when he tries to get up a weight atop him keeps him there. The sight is a beauty to behold and his anger of being waken up has long dissipated, he even silently thanks the sun for this.
His eyes marvel at how relaxed Yuuji’s face is, even tear stained eyes don’t make him any less beautiful. Each feature of his face is being defined perfectly by casted shadows. A slight snore comes from him but can only be heard if you were this close. Lips apart with a perfect shade of pink, much darker than his hair and drool that is most definitely dripping onto his shirt. Megumi can feel more than see the steady rise and fall of Yuuji’s chest.
He can’t help himself when it comes to seeing Yuuji like this, and his hand on his side reaches up to comb through slightly nappy hair. He admires him more and more and Megumi knows more than realizes that he’s in love with Itadori Yuuji, always has been. He thinks— no, knows, that he’s been trying to deny it because he can’t hurt himself more or worse, hurt Yuuji. But now, being in this moment, Megumi can’t help but want to wake up like this everyday. Not only did he sleep well, but he gets to see Yuuji like this to start his day off really fucking great.
The stirring beneath his hand makes him quickly reel in his hand as Yuuji slowly wakes. He doesn’t know why though, it’s not like Yuuji would mind, right?
Yuuji’s head slowly lifts from Megumi’s chest, blinking away sleepiness and yawning, Megumi is really star struck at the sight.
“Mm. Megumi? How long’ve you been up?”
Yuuji’s words are slurred from drowsiness and Megumi is falling in love even more than he already is.
“Only a few minutes.. Why?”
Yuuji hums an answer in response. Feeling bold, he reaches up towards Yuuji’s cheek, caressing it before moving his hand through his hair again. Yuuji only leans into the touch, and Megumi doesn’t know whether it’s because he’s still sleepy or he likes it, he hopes it's the latter.
He keeps gently repeating his motion as Yuuji still fights sleep to wake up.
“Did you sleep well Megumi?”
3 times now. 3 times Yuuji has said Megumi’s full given name, and each time it sounds like its own melody.
“I really like the way you say my name,” he decides to whisper and ignore his question, as he goes back to holding Yuuji’s right cheek in his hand.
The blush that adorns Yuuji’s face is cute and pretty simultaneously, and the sleepy smile he gives along with it is undeniably gorgeous. Megumi definitely wants to see more of this smile.
“You really think so? I thought you hated hearing it,” Yuuji is whispering back just as low.
“Not if it’s from you,” He gives an affectionate rub to his cheek and adds on,
“Only if it’s you.”
Yuuji looks a little shocked at first but then a curtain of love and a chuckle decorates his face.
This morning is so perfect and Megumi feels so rejuvenated, as does Yuuji. This was definitely something they both needed, and the universe was kind enough to let them have it.
A grumble of Yuuji’s stomach breaks the comfortable morning air and silence. Megumi can’t help but chuckle at the slightly embarrassed face Yuuji’s makes.
“Breakfast?”
“Yes please, I think my stomach is begging for it right now.”
They both giggle and Yuuji has to restrain himself from closing off the sounds of giggles and smiles from Megumi with his own lips. He ultimately decides against it and lets himself up off of Megumi.
They both get up in comfortable silence and make their way to their kitchen to make breakfast together. And if anyone asks what they are, well they don’t know yet either.
—•••••••••••••—
They both spend the day together in each other’s presence. They make pancakes together and make quite the mess because they were busy flinging the batter on each other's faces (Yuuji started it). Laughter and everything good fills the air and they do eventually finish making breakfast and eat in comfortable silence.
The pair talks with each other about miscellaneous things and though it's really only Yuuji doing the talking, Megumi still enjoys the time.
Yuuji is an acts of service guy, and Megumi is a quality time person. Both of their love languages do go hand in hand very well, especially when you live together. One other love language that they wouldn’t dare say or admit is physical touch, because they both do really love physical affection of any kind.
They take the time to watch movies that Yuuji has been dying to watch because Yuuji’s attempt at reading one of Megumi’s books was a failure. So they both do their own thing, but together which makes it feel all the more special. Megumi will occasionally glance at the TV and ask what’s going on; Yuuji will occasionally ask what page of his book Megumi is on.
They do chores around the house and when Megumi passes by to organize the spice cabinet Yuuji splashes water onto his face. The action starts a whole circus of wetting each other and the dishes don’t get done until half an hour later.
At the end of it all, the hours pass by unexpectedly, they don’t mind, because they didn’t feel like hours, they felt like mere minutes with each other.
—••••••••••••••••—
Tonight Megumi lays in his own bed and actually falls asleep this time. However, the dream state does not spare him any mercy because nightmares, or more like real memories are replaying.
Every plaguing memory that he tried to repress is showing up in his sleep. The way he watched everyone around him die and he couldn’t do anything. Nothing. Absolutely useless. He was there and he couldn’t do anything. Why was he even a Jujutsu sorcerer? He couldn’t even fight to protect the people he loves. Useless. How could he even think about saving others from their fate when he couldn’t save himself? Useless.
The memories begin to blur and become faded. He feels someone shaking him awake. Who is it? Why can’t he wake up?
“Fushiguro! Wake up! You have to wake up! You’re having a bad dream!”
The voice of Yuuji brings him to his senses and his eyes shoot open, waking up in a cold sweat. His eyes are watery and tears are overflowing his vision. Is Yuuji actually there or is it just his imagination?
His sleep ridden questions come to a halt when he feels warm callused hands wiping away his tears. Ah. There he is, so Yuuji is right here. And he’s crying in front of him.
He smacks Yuuji’s hands away with his own harsher than he means to and desperately wipes away tears that just won’t stop flowing. Its like the dam within him finally broke after months of holding it up.
He makes a stupid attempt of trying to lie,
“I’m fine Yuuji, you can go back to sleep,” but his voice comes out more messed up than he imagined, and he hates it.
“No, you’re not fine. You were screaming in your sleep and crying, please don’t lie to me Fushiguro.”
He was screaming? He doesn’t remember that. All he remembered was everything he failed to do, all his mistakes. Over and over and over.
“It’s okay I promise, I’m fine,” he’s lying through his teeth and he doesn’t know why.
Yuuji is finally seeing him break down without any walls and he hasn’t left yet, he doesn’t even show any plans on leaving. But he still feels the need to rebuild the walls around him, because what if he does leave.
Again, he feels warm callused hands pulling his own from his face. He’s finally looking Yuuji in the eyes as the walls break to nothing. More tears fall than ever onto his face.
“Please, let me help you like you helped me,” Yuuji whispers because Megumi is like a scared animal, and if he says it any louder he’ll surely run away.
Megumi doesn’t offer an answer so Yuuji takes that as his sign to move. He slowly moves closer and wraps his arms around him, cradling his head close. He feels each and every tear that falls onto his shoulder.
He slowly moves to lay them both down on the bed, if he moves faster the hurt animal will run away. Luckily, Megumi complies by moving with him.
He lets Megumi cry and cry, each one is strangled from holding them in so long and Yuuji squeezes him harder each time he hears them because he can feel the pain. He offers affectionate circles to his back, and fingers through his hair, just like he did for him.
Slowly, so slowly, Megumi pulls away from the hug and cups Yuuji’s face. His green-blue eyes are darting constellations over his face like he’s looking for something. Looking for any sign that Yuuji will leave him.
Yuuji moves his hand over Megumi’s left and rubs the back of Megumi’s hand. Then, he moves it gently to his lips and places a soft lingering kiss to his palm as he closes his eyes. He moves it back to his cheek with one swift slow motion. Finally he whispers,
“I’m here. I’m right here Megumi, it’s okay. I’m not going to leave you. I’ll stay with you for as long as you want me to.”
Yuuji doesn’t expect a sudden response, but it comes a few moments later,
“Then stay with me forever.. Please..” It’s a selfish request, Megumi knows that, and he still chooses to say it.
Megumi’s voice is absolutely wrecked but it seems Yuuji couldn’t care less.
“I will. Only for you Megumi,” and he wipes the tears that are still falling on his face.
Yuuji places his forehead against Megumi’s and rests it there. He’s doing breathing exercises because the shallow breaths that Megumi is currently letting out are definitely not good. It takes a while but Megumi’s breathing eventually returns in full and he’s softly breathing against Yuuji’s face.
Yuuji lets his eyes close for a few minutes and when he reopens them, he finds that the tears have all but stopped. Megumi’s eyes are closed and his expression is fully relaxed. So, Yuuji slowly lifts his head to place another soft lingering kiss on his forehead. Then, he adjusts Megumi against his chest so he can hear the beating of his heart, to let him know that he’s still here and he’ll fight to stay here.
He wraps his arms around the dark haired boy tightly, places a third soft lingering kiss to his hair and lets sleep take him too.
Another night wherein they sleep in each other’s embrace that they need so badly. One that confirms they won’t be able to sleep again separately at all.
—••••••••••••••••—
Megumi is the first to wake again, the only difference being that their positions are reversed now. Megumi is weighing Yuuji down this time and Yuuji has one arm loosely around him, Megumi is resting atop his chest.
He’s absolutely, fully, convinced that Yuuji looks handsome from any angle, even with drool dripping down the side of his mouth.
Megumi quietly chuckles as he gets up slowly to lean over Yuuji’s face, just admiring his features once again. Then he uses his hand to cradle his jaw and his thumb to wipe away the drool.
The motion makes Yuuji stir and he begins to wake up, but Megumi leaves his hand to linger this time.
Yuuji is blinking awake and closes his lips together to lick them from the dryness. Finally awake, he sees Megumi over him smiling affectionately.
“Hey how come you keep waking up first,” he’s pouting because he would really like to see Megumi’s sleeping face in the sunlight.
“Mm, maybe ‘cause you sleep like a rock idiot,” his tone is playful and affectionate when he says it.
“I do not!”
“Do too.”
Yuuji is making an upset face before ultimately breaking into a smile and Megumi can’t help but chuckle.
They stay like that for a few moments, Megumi unconsciously rubbing circles on Yuuji’s cheek. The silence is loud but not awkward, no, it’s settled into something sweet and it means everything.
“Hey, can I try something Megumi?”
Yuuji’s question sounds mumbled and it comes out in a low hushed tone, the same whispering tone but it sounds curious this time. Megumi has a feeling about what it is but he doesn’t want to get his hopes up,
“Sure..” his voice is low and hushed too.
Yuuji moves his arms to prop himself up on them and now he’s closer to Megumi’s face. Their noses are barely brushing,
“Is this okay..?”
He wants to make sure before he does anything reckless, because there’s no U-turn after this. Although, he’s pretty sure they’ve long passed the line of ‘best friends’.
Megumi swallows thickly before he answers, aware of what’s about to happen,
“Yes.. this is okay..”
With that confirmation, Yuuji leans in closer, breathing in the moment. Throughout his movements he hasn’t once looked away from Megumi’s green-blue eyes. His golden-brown has been locked on the ocean for as long as he can remember.
Finally, once he’s sure of what he’s about to do he lets his eyes flutter close as his dry lips meet soft ones. It’s only for a second too short because he backs away, giving no time to let Megumi return the kiss.
Megumi doesn’t let him get too far though, he’s been slipping away too long already. So he follows Yuuji’s lips and brings his own back to them.
That action singlehandedly killed any hesitation in his heart. And he kisses Megumi back just as reverently.
Each kiss is soft and quiet, no pressure between each one. Until Megumi decides he can’t hold back and is kissing Yuuji with a force that is filled with deep longing. Yuuji doesn’t leave him hanging because he applies the same force back.
Everything they held back to say is being said here, at this moment. Because, while some were speakable words, some were also unspeakable feelings.
Megumi wastes no time climbing into Yuuji’s lap to get a better angle at kissing him. He feels Yuuji tense from the sudden movement so he pulls back. Worried that he did something unwanted, he speaks up,
“Sorry, is this okay? I should’ve aske—“
“It’s more than okay, you just caught me off guard Megumi,” he’s smiling as he says it, still close to Megumi’s face.
Yuuji closes the distance this time, and kissing Megumi feels a lot better than a dream. He’s definitely on cloud nine right about now.
His hands instinctively reach up to hold Megumi’s waist but ghost there so he can ask,
“Is it okay if I hold you like this..?”
Their voices are still whispering, and it only serves to make the moment more secluded.
“Of course.”
And Yuuji wastes no time to dive back into kissing Megumi. Now every kiss feels like more and more than the last. Every kiss is brimming with their love for each other more than anything.
Eventually, they have to part for air but Megumi decides that he needs to kiss the face he loves everywhere. He kisses Yuuji’s forehead first, making his way to his temple, his cheek, the corner of his lips, his jaw, his nose and circling back to his forehead.
When he pulls back he sees a flushed face, not from lack of air anymore but from Megumi’s sudden affection. Megumi can’t help but giggle at the sight and marvel at how he was the one to put this look on his face.
The next words are completely unexpected though,
“I love you, Fushiguro Megumi.”
Megumi stops giggling to look at Yuuji’s face in utter shock. He didn’t expect that, and the words make him shed a few tears. Because he knows that Yuuji means it, and it makes him so happy.
“Woah, wait— Why are you crying Megumi? Did I say something wrong?! I— I’m really sorry, it just felt right to say it right now—“
Megumi cuts his rambling off with a soft kiss, then breaks the kiss,
“What you said is perfect Yuuji, it just makes me so happy.. to know that you love me..”
Yuuji pauses to take in what he said, understanding that Megumi deemed himself unlovable, and he needs to reassure him that he isn’t.
“Of course I love you Megumi.. Why wouldn’t I? You’re the best things to ever happen to me,” as he brings one hand to cup his cheek.
“Without you, I honestly don’t know where I’d be right now.. And if I didn’t get to know you.. I think I’d feel like something was always missing in my life.”
Megumi’s breath hitches and tears begin to form again. He places his hand over Yuuji’s and leans into the touch because he knows that this is real.
“I love you, Itadori Yuuji, so much. I always have, and I always will.”
Now Yuuji feels the tears forming in his own eyes, and he doesn’t bother to hold them back. Instead, he lets them spill out and smiles through them.
“You make me feel everything good, Yuuji, so good that I don’t think I deserve it.. I feel every weight lifted off of me when I’m with you and I think that’s what drew me to you. I’ve never had to hide from you, and when I do, you always see right through me..”
Yuuji’s very much full-blown crying now, and Megumi holds his face again like he’s everything and more. They’re both crying happy tears though, ones that have been much needed.
Megumi leans in again to kiss Yuuji, and he returns to kiss. Their tears begin to dry and the smiling through their kisses causes clacks of their teeth. So they pull away and look at each other’s faces, still smiling.
“So, does this mean we’re dating now?”
“No, Yuuji, it doesn’t,” Megumi’s seeing how far he can tease Yuuji.
And he watches as Yuuji’s mouth forms a frown and a confused look,
“Of course we are idiot..” but he makes sure to add on, “Only if you want to.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to? I want nothing more than you Megumi.”
His breath hitches again when he hears the answer, and he leans in to kiss Yuuji again. When they part this time, they settle into each other’s presence. And they whisper one last time,
“I love you, Yuuji.”
“I love you, Megumi.”
The morning air of change wraps around them and they enjoy their moment. The moment when everything that was scattered finally settled into its right place, for as long as they live.