Chapter Text
Walking into the room should be harder, knowing what awaited him inside, but Ye Xiu only paused to take a single deep breath before turning the handle and entering the conference room where he knew his replacement was waiting.
He hadn’t been inside for even 20 seconds before Liu Hao was spouting off more of his usual nonsense. Ye Xiu took the words in and dismissed them like the irrelevancy they were, knowing Mucheng was doing the same behind him.
Ye Xiu’s focus was on Cui Li, his eyes drifting past the almost gleeful man for only a moment to take in his replacement’s intentionally relaxed pose that screamed of posturing. Ye Xiu felt a flash of resentment and then dismissed it immediately. The kid himself didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. It was always going to be someone.
Cui Li’s smile was poisonous as he said the words he and Mucheng had known were coming.
“The club has decided that Sun Xiang will take over as captain and controller of One Autumn Leaf.”
No amount of mental preparation was enough to go through this unfeelingly, but Ye Xiu was too controlled to let his resignation show. He settled a hand on Mucheng’s shoulder as she stepped forward, not restraining but reminding her of her own situation, that there was no use in protestation. But the following command to hand over One Autumn Leaf still stung, despite his foreknowledge.
The bitterness rose up, momentary but sharp as he stepped forward. Cui Li said it like the demand was nothing, was something routine rather than the relinquishing of something he’d poured his life into. One Autumn Leaf was mired deep in memories and partnerships and rivalries that this smirking kid in front of him couldn’t know and wouldn’t understand even if he did.
But Ye Xiu had already pushed his bitterness down by the time he stood there in front of the blond-haired, eager-eyed prodigy his club had brought in to replace him.
His fucking hand was shaking as he held out the card.
And, of course, the kid had something to say about it. Not like it mattered. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d let trash talk affect him.
Sun Xiang crowed, saying he’d bring the Battle God to prominence again, and Ye Xiu’s hand steadied, his thoughts wry. The Battle God never left prominence, even with the club’s standings, but sure, hold onto that fire, kid.
Then Sun Xiang reached out to grab the card, and in his exuberance, bumped his fingers against Ye Xiu’s.
Warmth pooled in Ye Xiu’s right hand, a buttery, golden glow visibly spreading over his skin, and he heard a loud oh shit that echoed his own thoughts but that he somehow knew didn’t come from him. A quick glance up and around proved that no one else was reacting like they’d heard the curse, and that was the last confirmation he needed to know.
Soulmate.
Oh shit.
Ye Xiu’s eyes widened as the subtle heat in his fingers quickly built in intensity, beginning to burn. It couldn’t have been more than a second, and it now felt like a roaring fire as the sensation raced up his arm and tore through his veins until it reached his heart.
Alright, that’s not how I remember grandfather describing the feel of a First Touch, Ye Xiu scoffed internally, ignoring the touch of hysteria that accompanied the thought. Soft warmth, my ass.
No kidding, what in the fuck was that?
It startled him. Ye Xiu knew it shouldn’t have, as it was beyond clear what was happening. Even though some type of empathic or telepathic connection was typical between soulmates, he could never have expected to have a mental connection this strong.
But he could feel every ounce of Sun Xiang’s confusion-bewilderment-excitement-fear-frustration, and he had a subconscious awareness of the multiple half-formed thoughts that were part sensation, part memory in Sun Xiang’s mind that hadn’t been converted into words yet.
Ye Xiu was an unwitting spectator to Sun Xiang trying to reconcile Ye Qiu (–had a fucking poster of One Autumn Lead superimposed over his silhouette–declining, washed up god, and he’s looking at ME with judgement?–shorter than I thought he’d be) with the amorphous figure of his soulmate (a blond woman stroking a child’s hair and saying that a soulmate comes before all things–"there’s no greater treasure than a soulmate, my son"), specifically his own soulmate (a man who looks similar to Sun Xiang but older, smiling condescendingly while saying, “Don’t feel bad, not everyone’s meant to meet their soulmate, didi”).
Ye Xiu intuitively understood that everything he’d just gleaned from Sun Xiang’s mind were his unconscious thoughts. That amount of transference would already be crazy enough, except he had just heard a fully-thought out sentence that felt different than the other nebulous background thoughts. A sentence that had responded to his, meaning that Sun Xiang had to have heard a full, complete thought from him too. They were conversing. Mentally.
Ye Xiu looked Sun Xiang in the face for the first time today and saw that flat-out panic in his eyes, very blue wow, that he’d bet could be found on his own features and tried to compartmentalize even as the rush of Sun Xiang’s surprise-pleasure clued him into exactly how much was coming through (everything, jesus). Ye Xiu pushed his chagrin to the side and considered how to get them out of this moment, happening in front of a handful of very unwelcome eyes.
Fortunately, the Excellent Era players were too busy twittering around and congratulating each other on never having to put up with Brother Ye again–it’s mutual disdain-amusement–and Cui Li was too busy grinning like a cartoon villain distraction-disapproval bitter much? although that is a lot of teeth for any of them to have noticed the soft golden glow emanating from where the knuckles of Ye Xiu and Sun Xiang’s middle fingers had touched.
Alternatively, Su Mucheng, who hadn’t for a moment taken her eyes away from the awful sight of Ye Xiu giving up one of the last few possessions that connected them both to her beloved brother confusion-curiosity, had seen it immediately.
Ye Xiu saw her wobble slightly as she stood there before she seemed to blink hard and steel herself as the glow between their hands faded.
Yes, well, if Su Mucheng was shocked, Ye Xiu and Sun Xiang were stupified. However, what Ye Xiu hadn’t realized until now is that stupefaction is not silent, it is loud.
Neither of their mouths were moving, but Ye Xiu already had a headache from trying to wade through Sun Xiang’s anxieties. The kid was an uncomfortable mix of angry and thrilled about their bond while being pissed about the timing and nervous about everyone’s reactions because telling the team and the bosses is going to be so uncomfortable. It made it difficult for Ye Xiu to think his own thoughts, and he intrinsically knew Sun Xiang was having to wade through a similar (yet slightly different? unclear) unceasing tide from Ye Xiu’s mind in return.
Christ, do not say anything to management or the members about this. What!? Why? I cannot think of a worse idea right now, and shit, we still have to finish this fucking song and dance. Alright, just go with it and try not to react to what happens after. Hold on, no, explain. No time.
They couldn’t be silent any longer or someone would finally realize this wasn’t just an intense stare off between predecessor and successor.
“Do you love this game?” Ye Xiu said, bringing them back into the present.
Sun Xiang blinked back at him. “What?”
The confusion-frustration echoing from his soulmate was eating at Ye Xiu’s normally-legendary composure. Ye Xiu reminded himself that even before the whole soulmates debacle, there was an entirely different clusterfuck Sun Xiang had been unwittingly dropped into. bewilderment-confusion-distress-anger. Kid, we just gotta get through the next few minutes, okay? Take a breath. And, for the love of god, go with it. resentment-acceptance.
“If you love it,” Ye Xiu continued, “then treat everything as glory and not boasting.”
“How dare you?!” Ye Xiu couldn’t tell if Sun Xiang was playing along or actually offended, and from his emotions, it seemed like Sun Xiang wasn’t sure either.
Still, Ye Xiu was finally speaking to his soulmate aloud rather than in their minds, and it felt comforting to return to something normal offense-hurt even as a part of him already felt restricted communicating in a way other people could hear reassurance-pleasure-surprise.
“Treat it well,” he finished, finally letting go of the card. The pain of releasing One Autumn Leaf into other hands had dulled after everything else that had just happened, but even still, it was an ache that lingered, would likely linger for a while.
Ye Xiu paused for a second as he felt the surge of pity and flash of remorse that Sun Xiang immediately felt sheepish about sending through and confused about feeling at all. Ye Xiu ignored it, shoving down his displeasure at being pitied by his replacement, and turned around, ready to deal with Cui Li.
If he thought he had the makings of a headache before, Ye Xiu was now on the way to a debilitating migraine. He felt like he could barely see straight as he exited the building that had been his home for the better part of a decade.
Navigating the contract discussion and subsequent retirement with Cui Li while trying to comfort Mucheng and keep his own emotions steady would have been difficult enough without the conflicting waves of panicked, confused anger and smug pride that Sun Xiang had been radiating throughout. Add in the borderline frantic way the kid was even now mentally demanding to know what was happening and just where Ye Xiu was going when we need to talk!, and Ye Xiu felt like his eyes were vibrating from the pressure in his mind.
Su Mucheng, observant as ever, guided him to a nearby bench outside and practically forced him down onto it, not letting him walk off into the night the way he’d intended. Ye Xiu could tell she had questions, but he was grateful, so, so grateful that she held them in and waited.
Sun Xiang was much less patient.
No one said you’d be retiring immediately, Ye Qiu! Ye Xiu ignored the vague memories of Sun Xiang’s conversations with his agent, meetings with EE management, the former smug anticipation now overlaid with confusion-outrage, just that you’d finish out the season as an alternate until a different arrangement could be worked out in the summer.
Ye Xiu was certain his bitter amusement at management’s thin lies came through when he felt Sun Xiang’s flash of resentment-fury in response.
Why did you–you could have just paid the cancellation! I can feel how much you didn’t want to retire, even if you should. Rude, but whatever, the kid’s nineteen. I have no doubts that Cui Li will explain it if you ask, he’s the type to monologue if you get him started. Fuck, you saying he’s some kind of cartoon villain? Maybe he just wants to see Excellent Era succeed again, huh. ready to be rid of the dead weight.
Ye Xiu took a deep breath and tried to collect himself as best he could, ignoring the frustration that doing so was taking actual effort when normally it was automatic. The situation was bordering on untenable, and he was the elder here, so it fell to him to determine how they’d walk forward.
Look, Sun Xiang, I get that you have a lot of questions right now and that a lot has just happened, but neither of us actually have time for this at the moment.
Outrage-hurt-disappointment.
Ye Xiu sighed, shaking his head at Mucheng when she looked over at him, eyebrows raised in question.
Not how I meant it, kid. Seriously. Think about it. Are you able to dip out of meeting with management and the team and getting settled into your room and all the other requisite steps of your transfer? Hesitance-doubt. Exactly.
I would be if I told them why, Sun Xiang snapped back, petulance in every word.
Ye Xiu’s skepticism prompted a follow up before he even needed to think at Sun Xiang in full sentences.
No, I see it, everyone here is being weird as fuck about you. I don’t have nearly enough of an idea why yet, but I get the demand not to tell them now.
Ye Xiu kindly ignored Sun Xiang’s background thought of not wanting to be dragged down by association with him when he was trying to make a good impression on his new team.
Good, thank you. Let’s try and give ourselves the night, yeah? You’ve got to get settled in, I have to find a place to live, wait, what?! distress–skepticism-worry. Look, don’t worry about it. That’s an impossible ask; My soulmate just said he’s homeless. I have a plan. I just can’t go implement it yet because this is so distracting. anger-frustration.
I don’t know how to shut it off, okay? Me neither, Ye Xiu reminded him. I wasn’t accusing you, kid. Ye Xiu couldn’t stop himself from picturing a bristling hedgehog with blond spikes, and he almost felt bad about it when the outrage-fury hit him. Almost.
Sorry, sorry, look, I’m just suggesting we try and focus on other shit, do our best to not get distracted by what the other is doing or saying.
Ye Xiu was a little impressed to see some actual emotional regulation from the kid when the irritation-annoyance he had been sending through receded. I’m probably not going to be super successful at it, but I’ll try. Yeah, I have my doubts about my own ability to do it too, but same. I guess we just try and ignore each other’s emotional responses to stuff? Like, I can’t help how I react, and it’s not like I want you to know how I feel about everything anyways, I’d keep it back if I could, so . . . That’s fair. Happy to agree to ignoring emotional reactions as best we can until we figure out how to shield some of this. Relief-hesitation-gratitude.
Alright, good luck settling in. Sheepishness-excitement-haughtiness-remorse. Thanks. And sorry. Ye Xiu ran a hand over his face and took a breath before thinking back determinedly, Don’t be. Not your fault. You’re just caught up in the storm. Relief-sadness-appreciation that shifted into hesitation-courage. Will you tell me when you find a place to stay? Ye Xiu swallowed at the fragile hope that overlaid his soulmate’s request, marveling a bit at the depth of care for him he felt swelling in Sun Xiang’s mind (or rather, for his soulmate, since Ye Xiu could tell Sun Xiang still hadn’t reconciled the two to be the same yet).
Yeah, if you don’t hear it secondhand yourself, I’ll make sure to tell you. relief-pleasure-gratitude.
Ye Xiu mentally felt Sun Xiang begin to focus back on Cui Li, so he turned to Su Mucheng, determined to react as little as possible when Sun Xiang inevitably said something derogatory about him and tried to gather additional information on his situation from the manager.
“Thank you, Mucheng,” he said, breaking the comfortable silence she’d allowed.
Her smile, soft and teary as it was, still managed to be a balm after everything tonight. “No need. No need,” she said, patting him on the knee.
“Can I ask about it?”
“Would a ‘no’ really stop you?”
She giggled, eyes flashing with mischief as she agreed, “Nope!”
“Then sure, you can ask about it.”
“What did it feel like?” She asked, surprising Ye Xiu with the direction of her question.
He frowned slightly, clenching his right hand into a fist as he remembered. “It burned, like my veins were full of fire. But it was quick. It felt like time was suspended, but it was finished in an instant.”
“Oh, wow. That’s nothing like what I’d heard.” Ye Xiu smiled at the sight of Mucheng’s eyes widening with wonder.
He hadn’t had a chance to take in the thrill of it yet. It had all happened at one of the worst possible moments, but Mucheng’s excitement gave Ye Xiu the push to let it register now that he was away from all the judgmental eyes.
He had met his soulmate tonight.
Fucking hell, he thought, half-joyful and half-irritated. (He respectfully ignored the surge of relief-agreement-pleasure-irritation)
He had never thought, never dreamed–not many people meet their soulmates, especially not people as reclusive as Ye Xiu. Although, he should have known he’d meet them through Glory if Ye Xiu were to find his.
He had been so sure that if his soulmate hadn’t been Su Muqiu then it wouldn’t be anyone. Being wrong about that was overwhelming and incredible and incomprehensible, and it couldn’t have happened at a worse time. (There were worse people for it to have happened with, but not that many). Regardless, Ye Xiu had met his soulmate tonight, so for one short moment, Ye Xiu let himself feel uncomplicatedly happy about it.
Watching his soon-to-be boss’s reaction to his name, Ye Xiu kept hidden the amusement he felt as he took his ID back. He bet the face she’d make if she realized the guy she just reprimanded for pulling out a cigarette was actually Ye Qiu would be beyond hilarious.
Your name is what now? Ye Xiu chuckled under his breath. Of course Sun Xiang caught that. Don’t worry about it. Not important right now. Focus on not spilling your soup. Uhm, no, absolutely not. This is not a thing we can just skip over! Are you fucking serious right now? Ye Xiu sighed, both at Sun Xiang’s stubbornness and the conversation reminding him he’d given away his primary avatar.
Ye Xiu and Sun Xiang both ignored the flash of smugness-pity that echoed through their bond, and Sun Xiang pushed through to continue his point.
Sorry, you’d rather I, your soulmate, call you by the wrong name for the rest of our lives? Ye Xiu paused in transferring over Lord Grim’s account to the 10th server, politely not responding to the indecision-shyness-irritation-hope that curled around the mention of their future lives together.
For a moment, Ye Xiu lost himself in the idea of the two of them curled together on a couch, an older Sun Xiang grinning as Ye Xiu pressed his face into the hollow between the younger man’s neck and shoulder. The Sun Xiang in his imagination pressed a kiss into his hair and called him Ye Qiu, and Ye Xiu felt a wave of repulsion sweep through him at the idea of hearing his soulmate say his brother’s name in that tone rather than his.
Your brother’s name?! Ye Xiu sent through the mental equivalent of a hand wave and thought, Shhh, but yes, okay, you’re right. Definitely call me Ye Xiu. How the hell did you end up using your brother’s name as your stage name? That is such a long story that we absolutely do not have time for right now. anger-helplessness-resignation. Are you ever going to think it’s the right time for us to talk? It's not like you have much to do anymore.
Cue Sun Xiang’s shame at being rude to his soulmate followed by the frustration that his soulmate was Ye Qiu. They hadn’t been bonded for more than an hour or two and it was already becoming a pattern. Ye Xiu considered braving Chen Guo’s wrath and lighting up a cigarette anyway to deal with it but just sighed and went without.
When I’m not on trial shift for a job, not trying to figure out what kind of food this woman wants, or the 10th server isn’t about to open sounds like a pretty good start, Ye Xiu thought, shoving down his own ire and anxiousness as he finished his meal so that all that remained was calm.
Uhm, I know it’s not my place, while also actually sorta being my place now, but repressing all your emotions to keep yourself calm like this seems extremely unhealthy for your mental wellbeing. Ye Xiu sighed for the umpteenth time tonight. I will process later, when my emergent needs, like raising a new character, surprise-bewilderment-irritation are less emergent. As in, when I’m not racing the masses.
Will you though? Also, you’re doing what now? I can tell you don’t mean an account for casual play, so what the fuck are you thinking. You couldn’t manage the first one and now you want to raise another?
Ye Xiu knew his slight smile was wry as he taunted, This is a true 180 of care from the guy who laughingly said he was taking my place–the place I’ve held for 8 years, literally my entire adult life–at the club I was a main component in building while demanding I hand over the account card I raised. shock-indignation-guilt. So you can keep your unnecessary concern, and may I suggest considering a little more compassion in your interactions, since it was obviously missing earlier? hurt-doubt-embarrassment-anger.
Ye Xiu regretted that last thought immediately and was irritated with his own brain for not censoring some of that, since he meant to be cutting but not that fucking nasty to his own soulmate. He then paused in reading over the guide he was scanning because it occurred to him that being mad at himself for not censoring his thoughts in his own mind was insane and yeah, okay, Sun Xiang might have a point, damnit.
Fine, fuck you, shouldn’t have tried to give a shit, I guess.
Ye Xiu nodded to himself, grateful that at least it had put an end to the questions on his mental health and then groaned into his hands at the indignant wait, what the fuck, that was an intentional misdirection?!
Goddamnit. indignation-irritation-smugness.
His air of mystery and quiet shamelessness only worked on those who don’t see behind the curtain, Mucheng being a prime example of someone knowing him too well to be driven to distraction by his–some would say antics, but those who realized would say calculated aggravations–trash talking.
Old Han was really the only other pro player still around who knew him well enough to know what he was up to, although the other tacticians understood to a degree. At least the three of them were still susceptible to falling for it, unlike Han Wenqing, that bastard. And now Sun Xiang, who was going to see right through him until he figured out some kind of mental shield.
It struck Ye Xiu again how insane their level of connection was. The amount of transference they were experiencing was like the shit from movies and classic novels and other accounts of legendary soulbonds.
They were e-sports players, for fuck’s sake. amusement-agreement-frustration. Huang Shaotian and Yu Wenzhou were two of the most well-matched people Ye Xiu had ever seen, a soulmate pair that was as beautiful to witness as they were annoying to be around. And their connection consisted of middling-strength empathy with the very occasional ability to push a vague thought through telepathically if they concentrated really hard surprise-interest-smugness, according to Shaotian.
The fact that, an hour or so later, Ye Xiu knew Sun Xiang was finally in his room and unpacking his things before he got ready for bed, despite no actual words being said to tell him so, was insane. As was being able to feel Sun Xiang’s sheepish agreement and mental exhaustion while hearing a running checklist of tasks the younger man wanted to complete before he slept. The amount of mental input they were both receiving didn’t match with the time needed to mentally process it. Ye Xiu could tell they would both burn out if they didn’t figure out shielding soon. Hopefully the alternate sleep cycles they were about to start realization-wariness-relief would help in the interim.
Sun Xiang was finished with his unpacking and his nighttime routine by the time Ye Xiu finished the beginner’s quests. Ye Xiu was pleased to discover that as Sun Xiang got sleepier, his thoughts stopped their whirlwind press in Ye Xiu’s mind. With the relief in intensity, it was much easier to feel fond rather than overwhelmingly frustrated about the soft whispers of thoughts and emotions his soulmate was sending through.
Sun Xiang’s clear curiosity-surprise-worry in response to the Myriad Manifestation Umbrella and the heavy grief that Ye Xiu felt upon seeing it was a difficulty in and of itself, as a flash of betrayal and shame washed over Ye Xiu. He wasn’t sure exactly who he considered the betrayed in this scenario, but he resolved to work through that one when Sun Xiang was asleep and he had some privacy to unravel it. Hypocritical of him after what happened earlier, but honest. The soft flutter of what Ye Xiu could only call poutiness from Sun Xiang had him huffing a laugh despite himself.
Kid, I have no idea how to keep you out either, so trust me, you’ll see what the weapon is soon. And as for the other bit, well, I’ll tell you about that eventually too.
frustration-bitterness-sadness-agreement. Alight, I’m going to bed. Try not to run yourself ragged. worry-care. Goodnight, Ye Xiu.
Ye Xiu shook his head, smiling as the rush of Sun Xiang’s embarrassment flooded the bond. They’d both been able to tell how genuine Sun Xiang had been just now, and Ye Xiu was still a bit stunned that the abrasive rookie he’d met last year, the brash, condescending kid from earlier tonight was ceding to the softer, genuine man he was learning so much (too much, I’m sorry) about who held soulbonds in such high regard.
Aish, this kid. Okay, little Sun. Sleep well. Shock-pleasure-happiness.
Somehow, Sun Xiang managed to fade into unconsciousness almost immediately, and Ye Xiu was both impressed and jealous, because that was a skill to envy.
He also finally had the privacy to bemoan his own goodbye to his soulmate on top of all his other fuckups in their interactions tonight.
Christ, what an absolute mess. And even worse, I think I like him.