Chapter Text
The twins found out before I had a chance to tell them, of course. Small-town gossip spreads quickly. Sam had told his mom, and then Jodi told Caroline, Robin, and Marnie. Soon enough, the whole town was buzzing with the same question: “Was Vivian dating Sam?” Of course, the answer was no; we were not dating. However, since we were attending the Flower Dance together, that all but sealed the fate of the rumor mill.
“Aw, our little Vivi went and got herself a boyfriend.” Gabriel wiped a fake tear from his eye. “She’s all grown up.”
Andres often paid little attention to Gabe’s jests, but today was different. A tight, smug smile crawled across his lips as he dryly joined in on the teasing. “Now, young lady, what do you think Mom’s gonna say?”
“For the last time, Sam and I aren’t dating!” I groaned, exasperated beyond belief at the relentless pestering I’d been enduring all morning. “It’s just a dance, there’s nothing else to it. I just didn’t want to turn him down, that’s all.”
“Right…” Gabriel dragged out the word, brandishing that stupid grin I couldn’t stand.
“I’m serious.” I rolled my eyes.
When would the torment end? I was far too busy and preoccupied to pay much mind to the twins today. I rid myself of their presence, announcing that I was headed to the Saloon.
Attending the Flower Dance required two necessary evils: a date and a dress. I had managed to secure one of the pair, but the frilly white dress still eluded me. I had a little less than two weeks until the event, and no time to spare for a full-day trip into the city to buy one. Last night, I brainstormed another option, and the crystals on my windowsill caught my eye. Of course! It was a shot in the dark, but for now, it was my best hope.
Emily was working today. I wouldn’t have to spend half the day tracking her down since I knew exactly where to find her. I arrived early, around 3:30 PM, so I wouldn’t have to compete with other patrons vying for her attention. As I stepped into the Stardrop, Gus turned a sly look toward me, eyes twinkling with glee. I smiled politely, praying to Yoba that he wouldn’t mention Sam. I was not in the mood. Of course, Yoba was probably chuckling at me.
“So, Vivian. You and Mitchell, huh?” he said, only half looking at me, polishing glasses as he tended to do when fishing for gossip. “I’ve gotta say, kid, you surprised me with that one. And I am not easily surprised!” Gus let out a hearty chuckle, amused by his own remark.
I gave a strained half-smile, quickly scanning for Emily, who was just coming out from the back room. “Yeah, super surprising, I know.” I muttered under my breath, signaling to wave down Emily. The sooner I left, the better. I jogged over to her, leaving Gus to his own jovial devices, where he was inevitably coming to a myriad of incorrect conclusions.
Emily’s eyes widened when she saw me, and I realized that she had never seen me in the Saloon on any day besides Friday. “Viv! What are you doing here?” she asked, pushing her choppy blue bangs out of her face with the back of her hand. “You know, I had a strong gut feeling that something unexpected was going to happen today. And would you look at that, here you are!”
I chuckled, almost relieved at how her strange energy always helped me forget my daily worries.
“You know, I actually came here because I had a favor to ask,” I said. It wouldn’t take much to request her help. If she had the time, I knew she would help me. I guess you could call that a strong gut feeling. She nodded, eager for me to continue. “As you probably heard by now, I’m going to the Flower Dance with Sam-”
“I heard about that!” Emily cut me off excitedly. “I can’t wait to see your Flower Dance outfit. I already know you’re going to be gorgeous. I can see it now, maybe some wine reds or-”
Before she finished, I quickly interrupted, “Yes! But that’s exactly what I was hoping you’d help with. See, I don’t actually have a single white dress in my wardrobe right now.”
Emily grabbed my shoulders and shook me lightly. “Are you asking me to help make you a dress? Please say yes!”
“Yes.”
Emily clapped her hands together, eyes already filling with the telltale sign of inspiration and ideas pouring in. “Are you available tomorrow morning to come over? The sooner I get your measurements and ideas, the better.”
I checked my phone for the rest of my schedule. “Robin’s coming by tomorrow to start roof repairs, but I shouldn’t have to be home for that.”
“Then it’s decided!” Emily hugged me briefly before rushing off to continue her work. As she fluttered away, she called back over her shoulder, “I can’t wait for you to meet my little sis!”
I left the Saloon with a light sense of satisfaction, knowing the two evils were taken care of. For better or worse, I had no excuses now. I was curious to see what all this Flower Dance hype was about.
When I got home from the Saloon, Gabriel was lazily watching television in the living room. On a day like today, when I had nothing else planned, I felt inclined to join him. It was a beautiful afternoon out, so I opened all the windows on the main level to allow a fresh breeze to circulate throughout the cottage. Clear sunlight filtered into the room, making it hard to believe that this was the same drafty old room I had first set foot in two months ago.
Standing at the large windows that looked out into the side yard from the living room, it struck me just how overgrown the garden and yard had become. I recalled how Abigail had mentioned that her dad had received a new shipment of summer seeds. I had never been the kind of woman to work outside with my hands, but something in the sweet smell of the wind must have been calling to me because visions of me planting fresh melons and rows of sunflowers began filling my head. Maybe I could even buy a couple of chicks from Marnie if I got my grandfather’s old chicken coop fixed up. Eventually, I could have fresh eggs for breakfast raised in my own backyard. That would be ridiculous, right?
“Yo, earth to Viv! Our show’s on.” Gabriel was patting the spot on the couch next to him, impatiently waving at the television with the remote in his other hand. “You always zone out, it’s so funny. I always try to guess what you’re thinking about.”
“Everyone in this house zones out.” I huffed as I plopped down onto the couch beside him. “It’s the only thing we all have in common.”
Gabe snorted, arms crossed lazily across his chest, “That and mommy issues.”
“I do not have mommy issues.” I indignantly slapped his arm, “Just because we have differences doesn’t mean we have problems.”
Gabriel turned to face me fully, his brows knit together in an abnormally serious expression. “You can’t be serious, right?” Gabe ran a hand down his face when I only gave him a perplexed look. I was being serious.
Yes, Mother and I had not always agreed on everything, and sometimes she made me feel sad with the things she said, but at the end of the day, she only wanted what was best for me. If I had a problem with that, then that was on me. I decided to tell Gabe as much, but he was not having any of it. He had gotten up from the couch now, pacing back and forth, the show entirely forgotten in the background of our disagreement.
“Viv, man, she doesn’t actually want what’s best for you. She wants to be you, can’t you see that?” Gabriel was wringing his hands nervously, clearly not accustomed to these sorts of discussions. “She pushes you to be perfect because she wants to be perfect or whatever. She doesn’t want you here in the valley because she hates the valley.”
“What’s so wrong with that?” I threw my hands in the air. “So she wants me to be happy. She wants me to succeed. Why are you so against her all of a sudden?”
“She doesn’t want you happy. That’s the problem; She’ll never be satisfied.”
I felt a lump forming in my throat as I narrowed my eyes. “You’re wrong.”
Gabe shook his head. “Don’t act stupid, you know better.”
I wasn’t used to him speaking this way, nor was he. He let out a sharp sigh as if he had been holding his breath since we started talking. “If you don’t believe me, call her yourself. Ask her if you can stay, hell, ask if we all can stay. You’ll see, she’ll never let you be happy, but she’ll cut us boys loose in a second.” Gabriel turned his attention to the television to shut it off. “She doesn’t like us any more than she likes you.” He grumbled this last part before bounding out of the room.
He was probably right. No, he couldn’t be right. He was probably jealous. Mother never expected anything from the boys; she didn’t see greatness in them the way she saw it in me.
I went to my room, trying not to overthink it, trying in vain to brush the conversation from my mind. But Gabriel’s words nagged at me till I couldn’t ignore them any longer. Finally, I broke, I picked up my phone, and called my mother. I don’t know what I planned to ask her. But I could think of that when she answered.
“Hello? Why are you calling me, dear?” My mother’s voice came through almost immediately, “Are you calling to inform me of the house being on the market?”
I winced, “No ma’am. I-” I hesitated, something I knew she hated. I scrambled for the words, and Robin’s face popped into my mind. “I honestly was calling to request more time.” I regretted the words as they left my lips.
A long, heavy silence weighed on the other end before my mother finally spoke up again, “You really are a selfish girl, Vivian. Do you not realize that?”
I did not speak at first. I couldn’t do it; it would betray so much. It would betray the way my throat was closing with tears stinging my eyes. I stood motionless, white knuckles around the phone.
“And you have nothing to say to me now? You call me unexpectedly in the middle of the day, stumbling over your words to make a selfish request, and now you have absolutely nothing to say for yourself.”
“Do you ever want me to be happy?” My voice broke shamefully, and a few tears rolled down my cheeks, betraying my will. I had become unrecognizable to the girl I had been when I first left the city.
“You are asking nonsensical questions, dear. Of course, I want you to be happy. You will be happy once you come home and continue your studies.” My mother was angry; I could tell by the way she forced her voice to sound breathy and sweet when she spoke again. She was trying to sound gentle, “You sound so unhappy now, my dear, that horrid place is making you unhappy.”
My heart beat hard in my ribcage. It would be so easy right now, just to say yes, ma’am, and give up. Go home.
When I stopped to think of home, I thought of Emily leaning on the bar, a sparkling stone in her fingers. I thought of Robin’s strong callused hands wrapped around a warm mug of coffee. I thought of stealing glances at Sebastian from across the room, hoping he won’t notice. I could see Sam winking at me as he finally lands that riff, or Abigail wrapping her arms around me, off of what I can only assume is the kind of liveliness that comes from too many energy drinks or sugar.
And then I thought of the cold apartment in Zuzu. My mother’s clacking heels on the tile, the clamour of traffic down below, the empty night sky above. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’m happy here.” It came out as almost a whisper, but the words still left my mouth—everything I couldn’t say burning at the back of my throat.
My mother fell silent again, and when she spoke, her voice dropped to a low tone. One single word left her lips, “What?”
It was too late to turn back now. “Please forgive me, but I don’t want to leave. Not yet. I’m sorry.”
“We are not having this conversation, Vivian. I am very disappointed in you. You have fallen for the corrupting influence of that awful place, and I will not allow it.” Mother’s voice turned eerily soft, “You are so close, Vivian, so close to perfection, and you would rather throw all of our hard work away.” Her voice hardened once more, and the bitter cold cut deeply into my mind. “You selfish, disgusting girl.”
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what else to say. What was there to say? Gabriel had been right.
“Are you? I do not believe you are.” She seemed almost amused at the thought, “Well, I will call you again in two weeks. When you answer the phone, you had better be answering me from the bus. Goodbye, dear.”
Before I had the chance to respond, she hung up.
I stood in my room for a very long time, staring out the window, almost apathetic to the conversation I had just had. I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me, a fish out of water. It wasn’t until I finally willed myself to move, making my way to Gabriel’s room, that I began to feel the deep, unsettling pain of confirming my worst fears. I had become a disgusting, pathetic, selfish girl. I had become a disappointment. How could I ever be perfect now?
Gabe opened his door almost immediately when I knocked. Upon seeing my face, he wrapped his arms around me. It was an unexpected and rare gesture; I could count on my two hands how many times I had been hugged by all my family members combined. I didn’t have time to think about that, however, as upon his arms closing around me, I began to cry ugly, warm tears that rolled down my face in streams.
When I finally had the chance to catch my breath, Gabriel made dinner while I told him about my phone call. When I was done talking, he was beaming, yet a deep sorrow hid behind his eyes.
“I am so proud of you!” His eyes crinkled as he threw his arms up, subsequently splattering some salad on the wall from the tongs he had in his hand. “Oops, sorry. But really, I am proud. Little Vivi finally stood up for herself.”
I suppose I felt a little proud, but more than that, I felt sick. Nauseated. “I still gave in, she still expects me back in two weeks.” I shook my head, tapping my foot rapidly below the dining table. “I disappointed her. What do I do?”
Gabe chewed on his thumbnail, deep in thought, before passing me a plate of spaghetti and salad on the side, something I did not have the appetite for at the moment. “Don’t worry about that right now. You have enough shit to think about with the dance coming up and all that.”
I nodded in agreement, “No kidding. I haven’t been this overwhelmed since high school.”
After dinner, I tried to relax. I tried reading one of my favorite books, Frankenstein, but I couldn’t ignore the gnawing in my gut. After only a few minutes, I found that I had completely zoned out again, staring out my window, rolling the jade between my fingers as I chewed the inside of my cheek. When Gabriel knocked on my door, it made me jump, letting out a yelp of surprise.
Gabe sheepishly poked his head through the door, a sly grin on his face. He only made those faces when he had done something mischievous that he was proud of. However, this time, the look was tinged by a strange melancholy that was so abnormal on him—today had been so weird already.
“What did you do now?” I half huffed, raising my eyebrows as I anticipated his answer.
“I might have called mom.”
“What? Gabe, no, you didn’t! Say you’re lying!” I panicked. What had he told her? How angry was she going to be? “What did you say? What did she say? Why would you do that?” I was frantic, but he only stood there grinning, proud and somehow ashamed at the same time.
“Look, Viv, chill. It doesn’t matter what I said or what she said. All that’s important is we’re staying for the foreseeable future.” He shrugged, arms crossed over his chest. “I more or less told her that we’re not going anywhere.”
“Why?” I couldn’t understand what I was feeling. I was anxious, yet somehow also relieved.
Gabe simply shrugged again as if the answer were so simple, “We all deserve to be happy, right? And anyway, I was just starting to like this place, don’t you?”
“I- you didn’t have to do that.” He could have stayed out of it; Mother would have never cared. Now she would be angry at him, maybe forever or at least until he groveled enough.
“I know. You’re welcome.” His usual playful grin began to return as he lazily stretched and turned for my door. “I’m gonna go play some video games and enjoy the rest of my day off. I think you should try to do the same.”
I nodded, still shell-shocked from everything that had happened in the last twenty-four hours. “Thank you.”
“Anytime, that’s what family’s for, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I tried to relax and avoid the impulse to call my mother back and apologize for everything. Very little time passed before I gave in, but the call rang through to voicemail. Her calls never rang through to voicemail. She was ignoring me. Well, there was nothing to do now, I suppose.
I stared at my screen for a while, scrolling absentmindedly through my contacts before I stopped, my thumb hovering over one name. I needed a friendly voice right now, and if there was one person in this valley who always knew how to distract me, it was Sam.
The call rang three times before he picked up. “Viv? Are you okay?” He sounded genuinely worried, and I immediately felt bad for calling him with no warning
“Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just bored right now and wanted to talk to someone. Are you available?”
His voice was giddy on the other end of the line as he almost laughed in disbelief at the question, “Of course I’m available to talk to you. I’m so glad you called.”
I giggled at his sweet response, “I’m so glad that I called, too.”
“Hell yeah! So, who’s your favorite superhero? I like Spiderman.”