Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

With the agent eliminated, it was easy to pretend that the death toll doesn’t affect you. That the blood on your hands weighs as much as the water you flick off after washing your hands. At least, that’s what Candlelight says to herself. After all, it’s too late to beg for forgiveness. Not when the agent’s body’s been cold for hours already. 

Not when there was another lamb to slaughter. Some of them were young, oh so young. Candlelight may just be a quarter of a century old, give or take, but some of these agents are far younger than her. She knows. Some are driven by desperation, others by idealism. Maybe some are backed into the corner like her. 

And there’s no one to carry their memory. Not when the machine takes them and chews them up, burying their existence in papers and protocols. Maybe that was why she likes paperwork. There are multiple reasons but it changes depending on the day. It was just the self-gaslighting that made her feel better. Whatever eases the guilt. 

“Please don’t cry.” Candlelight laughed, wiping away the tears as she flicked the match against the striker and lit up another candle. It’s always that. Trying to find a nice reminder, something good to delude yourself with as you tried to find something, anything, to move forward with. She ended up spying on an EOD funeral once. 

It was an unfortunate situation, really. Someone in the same department as her ended up dying in an accident and Daniel Sans told someone to handle it. She got the unlucky draw and got volunteered for it. She didn’t want to come there, the empty halls and somber atmosphere was suffocating: it was like several of the ghosts of those whose lives she’d taken were all looking at her. 

Funny how many people go to ceremonies to remember whom they lost but can’t seem to stop the machines that kill them in the first place. The irony is not lost on her. It just can’t seem to leave her mind.

She’s still in her office, staring at the flames as it flickered like the dying breaths of the agent it was meant to represent. Her words got caught in her throat as she held back her apology, knowing it was futile. There was no one to forgive her, no one to absolve her of the guilt. And she’ll do it again. Why bother saying sorry when it’s just lip service? It would only cheapen the meaning over time. 

Zoraxis and the machine already took so much away from her. Why would she allow them to take this too? 

 Both sides are a mess, not really something to be proud of. Maybe the agency is slightly better. But why would they want to allow someone tainted with their agents’ blood to be among them? She’s not like the other defectors—she doesn’t think she has much to offer. 

At least, not much that wouldn’t be a reason Zoraxis would fight harder to keep her in with them. The agency could fall back any time. It’s been the case with intelligence agencies: the agents get dropped. The loose leaves are forced to fall and suffer while the main branches still thrive.

The smell of lavender did very little to calm her down, the thought of what her latest projects have done still remaining in her mind. The screams, the realization that the agency would likely only grab a body—a corpse—, the silence that followed. She just watched passively as she timed the agent’s capture to the agent’s last breath. 

Despite that, it wasn’t enough. Zoraxis may want better. No, they will. A trap that kills instantaneously, one that gives agents no time to react so the agency has no idea how to counter it. This amount of cruelty is only… acceptable for them. After all, not many of the higher ups see the bodies—not counting Zor’s inner circle, that is. 

As much as Candlelight wanted to pretend that the board doesn’t see it, it’s all a cold comfort. They know. And it’s hard, maybe impossible, to make someone pretending to be asleep wake up. Zoraxis takes and takes, only giving back as bait to get something bigger in the near future.

How could she forget that? It’s been an example of history. She heard stories of exploitation sitting at her grandma’s feet, talking of the horrors others can do. It was the topic of her elementary days. Something that can’t just be forgotten. 

She has to go back to work, serve the machine. The candles flickered behind her like a bunch of eyes all over again. But it’s not a good enough punishment. However, that much is what she can handle. Only that much.

She turned to the earpiece and lighter she grabbed from the body, gloved hands trembling as she tried to decode the frequency. Even if the agency may not take her, she needs assurance. A backup. 

With no allies in this world, she has to do everything she can to survive this nightmare.

Chapter Text

“Sir, this is by far one of the worst places to be on a mission,” Phoenix said while frowning at the narrow path available. “The smell here is… well, it’s bad.” They held back the urge to cough as they looked at the narrow walkway they were given. Their feet wobbled  “Are you sure this is a good place to sneak into?”

“Oh, Agent. I’m quite sure this is the safest path to take.” Reginald answered as they walked down the path. “I say, it’s better off than risking it. The priority is stealth here. We can’t risk you accidentally burning those files.”

“Those are my own files and it was just one time.” Phoenix huffed, minimizing the amount of air they breathe. “I can bet I will probably run away from this mess by the end of it. What do you say? 2 bucks?”

“You’re on.” Reginald chuckles, only to pause when they hear a scuffle not long after. “Agent, I think those voices are familiar. Tread carefully.”

“You’ve got a lot of nerve to dredge up all my fears.” Their contact was nearly snarling as they seemed to be speaking to someone from the corner. Maybe even arguing. Phoenix pressed down on their lips to listen to the scuffle. 

“Oh? And you’re going to let another of our coworkers take the fall for your shenanigans? Hm? Take accountability. I am disgusted at what you’re doing. It’s one thing to point out the truth to save your own hide, and another thing entirely to make someone else the mole all because you don’t want to fall to whatever Zoraxis has in store for people like you.” The vitriol in the other person’s voice was unmistakable as there was soon the sound of fighting followed with a thud.

Phoenix covered their mouth as they snuck closer, eyes closing as they pressed their body to the wall so they wouldn’t trip down the narrow path. They opened their eyes, trying to get a closer view on the two people in the darkened section of the sewer. 

Their contact was pinned on the ground, a fellow agent under the grasp of a Zoraxis operative. The assailant was wearing something dark, hair covered to look like a threatening silhouette that hovers like the grim reaper. 

The pipes and valves were tightened, no loose objects to grab with their telekinesis to cause a distraction with. The room itself was dark, which didn’t help with the visibility problem. The flashlight in the EOD agent’s hand soon fell on the ground with a clack and a thud, barely clinging to its light.

The operative seemed to whisper something in their fellow agent’s ear, causing the latter to freeze in place. They laid there, limp as the operative turned to Phoenix with a cruel smirk. “Well, if it isn’t the great Agent Phoenix. I’m surprised you took this route. I suppose the anonymous tip I received was right.”

“Agent, they got compromised. Who managed to breach our network?!” Reginald exclaimed as he tried to hack into more cameras. “The entrance got sealed, agent. Be careful!” His hands were trembling as he tried to look into overriding the commands. 

Agent Phoenix clenched their fist as they stared at the surroundings more, only to pause when they noticed a new item amongst the pipes: a wrench. They couldn’t be sure if they missed it the first time but there was a presence of blonde hair tips from the corner of their eye. They received a chill as their telekinesis made contact with the cold metal. Swinging it towards someone would only spell disaster—there was too tight a space and they could hit their fellow instead.

They looked around, trying to find something to change. They looked up, maybe something  bit more loose. But that could mean intel could get muddied.

“Agent, do it. We can restore the intel even if it gets soiled. We have to prioritize our agents’ lives.” Reginald’s voice was calm and controlled, soon grounding Phoenix into a state of calm as they raised the wrench up to switch the valve.

“How dare you!” The operative shrieked as the dirty sewage enveloped them and their fellow agent, who managed to grab the dropped flashlight to smack them in the face with it. 

The agent managed to get up, staggering towards them as Phoenix supported their escape, occasionally stopping to let out a shot on corners. when they heard footsteps approaching.

“Agent, are you alright?” Reginald spoke gently as they made it to the evacuation vehicle, winching slightly as the agent in question coughed violently. 

“Sorry, Sir. I wasn’t careful enough.”

Phoenix frowned at the response as they sat in their seat, choosing to feel the wheels bump in the road. 

“Don’t be sorry, agent. At least we managed to save your life.” Reginald patted their back as his agent closed their eyes, wondering who is the operative that interfered today.

Chapter Text

“You look like you have a lot on your mind.” Agent Phoenix turned towards their neighbor as the latter sat beside them on the bench between their residences. “Something about your work?”

“... Yeah. Some kind of angel saved my hide earlier in the day,” they said, looking at the stars above them. “Well, our hide. Some people are quite vicious, I have to admit. And quite scary too.”

Their neighbor just sighed, also looking at the lonely starry night. “You’re just learning that now? Why’s that? You’ve been lucky to get someone in your corner?” The accusation wasn’t even hidden anymore as the silence between them stretched. “I saw your visitors. You aren’t that neighborly for being that noisy past 1 in the morning.”

Agent Phoenix flinched, scooting slightly to the side closer to their house. “Sorry. But I was just glad I had someone come over, you know? It gets pretty lonely.”

“I suggest you don’t say things like that. After all, you don’t know who else is listening. Don’t be an idiot.” Stone eyes stared at them with undisguised irritation. “You never know who can take advantage of that fact about you.”

“Why? Will you use what I told you against me?” Phoenix turned to their neighbor. “Will you take advantage of what I trusted you with? I thought we’re friends?”

“Why would I be friends with you? After all, you’re just trouble. Have a goodnight.” Angry steps seemed to echo from the pathway as the door seemed to close violently with little care for those resting at night.

Phoenix was clenching their fist on their pants as they took in a deep breath. “I was just being neighborly. Did I push it too far?” 

 They looked up at the stars before turning towards their neighbor’s door. Even with the curtains, there was a subtle orange, maybe golden glow from the windows. It was a mystery for them for a few weeks, only to realize they lit an almost obscene amount of candles at night. Something about its brightness transfixed Phoenix, and not just because of the fire. There was something about it that rubbed them the wrong way.

Unfortunately, it seems like they went about it the wrong way once more, leaving them to isolate even deeper. They messed up and they know it. 

“I’m sorry.” Phoenix muttered, getting up from the bench and walking back to their home. It was a lonely place, but loneliness had always been a close companion to them. Their childhood was filled with the similar sight of tables and shelves swept too cleanly and easily since there were far fewer trinkets to keep track of.

It was all a sterile set piece, a functional shelter, and an empty home. That was all there was to it. Nothing more. It wasn’t a home. It was never a home, not for them. And they know that if they were to feel what a family is really like, it would be something they formed—practically an impossibility given their career—or something they found. 

It wasn’t fair. All they wanted to do is connect with someone. It was always like this. Trying to make people laugh but only ending up being told off for distracting the class, with their words described as careless and uncaring.

Even when they found classmates to laugh with, they weren’t friends. They never were. Always a wall between them and others, watching as they faded into the background once the laughter died down. 

Phoenix looked at their empty living room and plopped onto the couch to stifle the self-condemning scream. There has to be something wrong with them. They keep blowing it, unable to connect to others. 

Maybe they’re destined to be isolated from everyone. They can’t connect with anyone in this place and they’re not even sure if their handler likes them outside of the job. Sure, they get along fine but there’s always that lingering fear. 

Perhaps it would be a productive exercise to just cry it out like a coward. That’s all what they’re good for, right? The couch seemed to prick at their back when they looked up at the ceiling, tears soon pooling at the corner of their eyes. They’re an adult, dang it. Why does it feel like they’re struggling to even control something elementary as emotions anyway?

Their home is mostly empty, looking more like a safehouse than something lived in. Then again, it’s not like they stay here often enough. They’re always off on whatever missions they get assigned to. It’s the bare minimum, just like how much interactions they have with other people nowadays. Just enough to get by but nothing deeper.  

The thought of calling their handler came to them but it’s probably not a good idea. Why would they disturb him over something as stupid and simple as emotional distress? They were taught to compartmentalize, to set aside emotions for a later date, to control them before they spiral. 

Why are they forgetting such a simple task right now? It was just a neighbor telling them they aren’t friends. It wasn’t personal. Maybe they came on too strong.

Chapter Text

After inputting the time and the log number in a hidden notebook, Candlelight began writing on the paper, in which she felt like drinking would have been the best choice at the moment. Something about not reflecting on the events that just transpired. The nausea was still fresh, but it wasn’t like the first time it had happened. 

She knows working for Zoraxis numbed her conscience and it’s become apparent when she’s no longer throwing up at the sight she’d just seen. Some people just don't listen. And it’s not her fault.

The warmth of the lit candles behind her as she remained hunched in her office, the rough scratches from the ballpoint pen echoing all over. Something about desolate her office had only exacerbated the isolation she feels internal. 

“After the KBOOM experiments,” Candlelight started muttering as she fought her ragged breath. “I took the opportunity to test the limits of project BRIM…” The lines of ink seemed to blur under her care as she fought the darkening visual. “... and successfully managed to create an area in which telekinesis had been greatly reduced. To the point the sphere of influence of an agent’s telekinesis only extended up to their fingertips.” And the consequences of that stunt were costly. Her mind supplied more as she tried to make sense of her writing once more. 

The haze returned, prompting Candlelight to lock the journal and open the fake compartment to hide her pretty much unauthorized experiments as she lowered her head on the desk to fight the darkening of her vision. Seems like she had way too much to drink tonight.

“Don’t be scared, I’ve done this before,” she said, while remaining in the shadow, glass of the control room separating them. The agent’s been panicking at the sudden lack of their telekinetic abilities.

“Who are you?! Show yourself!” The agent was panicking as they tried to hit the walls with their body. The room was empty, only pallets in the room remained. There is a vent high up, yet even that is too small to fit in. There was a laser that opened up in the ceiling as it was powering up. “Where are you?!”

Candlelight sighed, looking at her voice changer that remained turned on. “If you don’t trust me within the next moments, you’re going to die. Trust me and you’ll live. If not, so be it. You’re dead.”

“Why should I trust someone I have never even seen?” The agent yelled, trying to grab the pallets to hide behind. “Show yourself!”

“And let myself be seen and punished? I’m not stupid. I’m not even obligated to help you. This is the most I can do with the risk I still consider acceptable. I’m not doing anything more to help you. I didn’t hurt you and I did my best to try.”

“You didn’t try anything!”

“I bet your handler’s just as helpful.” Candlelight’s remark remained flat, unaffected at the loss facing the agent on the other side of the screen. “The process in this room is automatic. I did not press any button. If anything, the one who brought this on you is your own body for not seeing the trap. If you die, I did everything I could, Agent.” Her grey eyes looked at the lowering iron rod with stoic indifference as she spun around to stop looking at the scene. “I’m just as helpful as your handler in this regard. If you’re listening to this, tell the rest of the EOD that they really shouldn’t be sending agents in this facility if they care about their agents.” 

She looked up and saw the height of the iron rod before getting up from her seat to leave the room. She located the landline to the custodian’s number; turning off the voice changer, she spoke in the handset. “Hey. Facility 3C here. Yeah. Get to the testing chamber within the hour. Another one got in. Got it.”

The choice to keep her eyes closed as the screams pierced her ears in the background was on purpose. She can’t release them even if she wanted to. Aside from it being tracked to her, the room itself was designed to be inescapable without telekinesis. They just needed to dodge it by redirection. She wasn’t even aiming to disable it—it wasn’t even an allowed test. She chose the least crowded room for this exact reason. 

She looked at the device she turned on and put it in the inner pocket of her lab coat. They’re not supposed to know. They could never know about this. Not when its initial test showed how lethal it can be—how much more if it was on purpose.

Zoraxis is a meat grinder, not just for EOD agents but for their own numbers. And she does not trust that she won’t be among those people Zoraxis will turn against. It’s only a matter of time before it’s her.

Chapter Text

“Agent Phoenix, it’s three in the morning. Is there something wrong?” Reginald sighed, rubbing his eyes as he put on his headset to answer the call from his agent’s earpiece. He set aside the hotdog shaped pillow as he sat towards the couch to be at least more aware of what they’re about to say. 

“You know how I failed the assessment on one of the new trainings, Sir?” His agent’s voice was shaky, unbalanced as they tried to control their breathing. “Yeah. I had a nightmare about it.” 

Reginald raised a brow as he heard the distinct sound of scratching from his agent’s end. “What am I hearing, Agent?”

“Dream journal. I’m trying to recall it. I’m still—” The particular click of plastic hitting the floor echoed in the quiet room as they tried to control their sobs. “Sorry. I dropped it. I’m—” His agent sucked in a deep breath as they muttered under their breath. “My panic’s at the ceiling but I’m face down on the carpet.” The wheezing laugh only did little to dissuade their fear.

“Agent. Can you follow my instructions?” Reginald kept his voice even, grounding. Part of him ached at how they seemed despondent earlier in the day when they discovered they failed. They didn’t even flinch—only giving him a pained grin as they took in a deep breath, stating something about getting distracted.

“My hands, the bed, a messy blanket, a dresser, and the turned off lamp.” Agent Phoenix muttered, following his instructions as they tried to control their breathing more. “A-am I doing it right?”

“You are, Agent. Now, four things you can touch.” He kept his voice even as he gripped the headset close to his ears. 4 items—the floor, the carpet, the bedding, and the bedside lamp were given. What followed was the sound of their own breathing, his voice, and the ambient sound of the neighbors. They were still sniffling as they tried to control their shivering, tears and snot blocking their airways.

“I can’t smell anything and I can’t taste anything either.” Their voice was as quiet as a mouse as they tried to look up to the ceiling as they tried to stop the shaking. “Sorry. I just… Being in a classroom is a bad thing for me. I don’t know if it’s a phobia or if it’s just trauma but a classroom is not good for my own health.”

“Mind enlightening me on why that is, agent?”

They sighed, staring at the tiny sketch they put in the journal, staring at the rows of seats, the humid classroom, the loudness of it all. The way one can peek inside through the windows and you can’t do much since they wouldn’t allow curtains—the way people seemed to be squeezed together so you don’t get scalded by the freaking sun?

Their throat closed up as they took in the deep breath. They stared at their hands like it wasn’t theirs and hugged themselves to calm down. The blanket was pulled to wrap around them as they tried to stop the tears.

“I wasn’t… School wasn’t the best time for me, Sir. I… was—I was a lonely kid. The majority of tests were in English but a lot of my classmates spoke a second language. I tried to learn. I really did. It’s just that—” They clenched their fists as they tried to control their breath. “No one bothered to tell me how.” The pained chuckle only echoed in the room as they breathed out and got rid of the snot. “I guess being in a classroom made me remember those days like it didn’t destroy me further. The house was already bad enough. Funny how you can be lonely despite the amount of people, huh?” The sketchbook-journal was going to look wonky in the bright light but it was not meant for the night.

Not when it documented nightmares that get buried at the first sight of daylight. Not when it was meant for late nights that soon melt into early mornings. It’s a weakness they don’t want Zoraxis to know. It’s such a stupid thing to fear, right?

Reginald took in a breath. “Agent, would you rather sleep or would you rather stay up tonight?” He looked at the ceiling. The things he does for his agents.

“I’d rather stay up, Sir.”

“Do you still have the handbook and syllabus?” 

There was shuffling from their end as they opened a cabinet and then a bag. “It seems like I did bring it with me.” 

“Good. I want you to head to headquarters tonight. I’ll be heading over there. Since neither of us can sleep, we might as well start early. I believe someone set up a bed in the break rooms for this exact reason.”

“Why would I sleep at headquarters, Sir?”

“Well, you do have a history of sleeping in your office. But there is another reason why I want you there.” He took in a breath. “It’s because you need to learn it since Zoraxis seemed to be able to cancel out telekinesis. And you need to learn how to hack some things before it kills you during a mission, Agent.”

Chapter Text

“So, is anyone going to tell me how Agent Phoenix escaped?” Daniel Sans looked at his employees as everyone seemed to shrink under his intense gaze. Candlelight was amongst the crowd, face blank as she dug her fingernails on her gloved palm. She’s so glad her gloves are dark, just in case any blood seems in from how hard she was pressing it—thankfully, it hasn’t gotten that bad that she needs new bandages—yet.

Her back was to the wall, breath ragged as it felt more like she was pinned under her superior’s gaze. But it was just her imagination. It just had to be. But then again, if Weaved had something to do with this, it’s not that different from being caught in a net. That thorn had always been leaving scars on their sides on its way to dig up moles.

“Agent Phoenix had medical restraints on them. Who was it? Who was the one who didn’t make sure they did not have a lockpick on them? Also, who was the one behind the rumors that Zoraxis has anti-telekinetic abilities? Who made that device? Was it you?!” 

Candlelight gave her coworker a look of absolute hate that matched the rest of the room despite the fact that it was her creation. That she was the reason why the agency likely escalated its training. But it’s better off no one knows it was her. People will question it and her little “habit” will be known. 

“Operative Candlelight. What do you have to say for yourself? Aren’t you the one who called the custodian over to clean up the mess?”

“I was wearing ear protection when the screaming started. I walked over and saw the mess. Quite unfortunate to be the one cleaning up that mess but I wasn’t the one with that job, aren’t I? Why are you asking me?” She narrowed her eyes at him before turning away. “Do you seriously believe that the agency, the one who seemed to have spent their entire budgets on bar carts and martinis to actually care about their agents to expedite a lesson plan to get them to not be killed that quickly? With all due respect, do you really think Zoraxis is that passive now that several of Dr. Zor’s plans are foiled by a single lone agent?”

The glare she received in the reply only caused her to dig her heels in further as she remained impassive at the looming threat. No way she’d give away the bluff. 

“You actually have the courage to go against me? I suppose you do have a point. But I don’t appreciate that talk-back. You’ll be in monitor duty. That blasted agent is still in the building. If you can find them, I’ll let today’s slight off.”

“Of course.” She tried to stop the sigh forming on her lips as the crowd dispersed, leaving her to grab the hat to cover her head from the searing heat of the sun. Just like that blond agent who tried to be chummy with her the other day. It’s better to grab it now than be caught off guard by how it seems to shine under the sunlight.

The words “No grave can hold my body down” honestly feels like something they would say to her, after all. How many times did they cheat death? More than three. And the first one is her doing. 

She clenched her fists as their stupid grin grated on her nerves. Best not to think about something like that. The more it sticks in her mind, the more likely it is to spill through her lips. That Phoenix is nothing but an insensitive, arrogant, piece of—

She has a runaway bird escapee and it’s best to find them before they make a full on escape out of the facility. And it’s best before they reconnect with their handler. The door in her hands was violently opened as she demanded to see the footage.

“Are you serious? How come none of you know how to look at footage to find someone? Step aside!” Her tone was clipped as she not-so-gently shoved another operative to take over the seat. “Daniel Sans is quite angry at our incompetence and you’re all what? Relaxing like it doesn’t bother you?” 

The notepad she always brings in her lab coat was brought out, along with a pencil as she wrote down a few notes. “Unbelievable. Be glad there are civilians in this building or else I would have gassed you all.”

Tension filled the air as she checked a few things over and used the control panel to lock a few doors. “There. Now, they will be stuck and the only exit they’ll get is the employee only elevator. The only active elevator that this floor will go down is the civilian elevator. Several Zoraxis operatives will be alerted to that floor and the vent had the traps activated. Don’t mess with anything else. Anything with more moving parts than this will result in things getting foiled. I’ll interfere with them there. All we can do for now is stop them from sending the files and possibly getting benched depending on what we can do. Don’t record the audio. I’d know if you did.”

Her narrowed eyes gave them an unspoken warning as she headed outside hurriedly. She has an agent to stop and it wouldn’t be a clean scene.

Chapter Text

“Agent, that was a close call.” Reginald spoke in their earpiece as his agent was breathing hard. “It seems like some operatives carry a signal jammer. Are you alright? Tell me that you’re okay, and I’m fine.”

The elevator always gives bad memories and they can’t help trembling as the sensation of wind entering their ears as the sparks flew around them returned once again. Something about the stopping and starting makes them tempted to cling to the nearest wall or rail. 

They were barely able to sign back as they tried to control their breathing. It was too soon. They really should have stayed at home and refused the mission after being rattled by the classroom. But this facility already killed an agent within the week. The new rumored project Zoraxis has was concerning. And the fact that they had to extract one of their moles the other day was also looking to be the first cracks of the walls. 

Upon stopping, the elevator revealed a woman wearing a hat, a shadow covering her face as she pressed the button for the lowest floor. Something about her stiff posture ground at his gears but he can’t put what. 

“You know, you’re stupid enough to use the elevator. How did you even escape containment?” The voice was cold, distant and— The elevator came to halt and darkness enveloped them both. 

A painful static echoed in their ears as they tried to touch their earpiece. Offline. They aren’t supposed to lose signal here. But—

“Quit hyperventilating. You’re going to suffocate us both.” Her voice pierced the air as yank on their collar forced them to stand upright. The entire place was pitch dark, not even an emergency light to show anything else. “What? Experiencing a flashback or something?” The disdain in her voice was unmasked as something solid in her sleeve when she approached and touched them—enough cold that it made them suck in a deep breath to calm down.

“You… You work for Zoraxis. I mean, there was never any indication that you were an actual operative. I didn’t think you’d actually know about this side of your company.” Phoenix was clenching their fist as they focused on looking down on the ground. Even with the darkness, they can still see the look of hatred in her face—the mask of fury she seemed to have worn the last time they spoke. They are still unaware why she went off on them that night. And it wasn’t like they had the opportunity to talk to her, she avoided them not long after that. (Like it wasn’t difficult, they also had a busy schedule.) “I thought you’re just burnt out from their demands.”

A mocking laugh slipped from her lips as she stepped closer to him. “Maraming namamatay sa maling akala. Or should I say many die from a false belief, ‘friend’,” The whisper close to their ear sent shivers down their back as she soon pressed close to them. “You shouldn’t have trusted me, and yet, here we are. You're an idiot.”

“You aren’t hurting me. How much trust I put in you isn’t—”

“It is an indication of your rotten judgment, ‘Agent’. You shouldn’t trust someone just because you see them every day. But I suppose I should applaud you for making me somewhat fond of you. It’s quite grating.” She clenched her teeth as she pressed the cold metal of a pen close to their throat. “But spilling blood would get messy.”

Phoenix tried moving their hand to their service weapon in their coat, only to feel a hand over their own. “Let go.” They hissed, only to inhale sharply when they felt a hand digging nails on their wrist.

“And let you shoot? Hah. Nice try. You either shoot down and stop the locks that prevent us from falling down the shaft,” she grinned, holding their wrist tightly, “shoot up and you damage the rope, or shoot sideways that could injure us and probably bring down the control panel. I never fell down an elevator shaft before and I don’t want the experience, especially with someone like you. Do you know why some people never liked you back then? Why you’re so alone during lunch? It’s because you’re annoying.”

Agent Phoenix stopped squirming as their hand fell limp on their side as they tried to control their breathing. They barely just managed to grip their gun as they tried to stop the tears from beading up. “You… You knew we went to the same school. But—”

“We’re from different sections. I didn’t really care. I have to admit you’re smart but you are the most stupid person I’ve ever met. You never shut up. I never asked for your business and your thoughtless questions really could have killed people and gotten multiple innocents in trouble. Why would anyone confide in a tattletale like you?”

“I-I wasn’t! I wasn’t going to break anyone’s trust.”

“You looked like someone who wouldn’t understand the line until you see the fallout. And that is something you’d never know until after people get hurt.” The lights soon turned on, the elevator finally moving. “That’s one of the multiple things people saw as wrong with you at the time. It’s still there.”

Chapter Text

As the words from the Zoraxis operative sunk in, the earpiece activated with alarm, blaring in Phoenix’s ears with enough volume to the point their ear throbbed in pain. Their breathing was ragged as they tightened their grip on their gun to stop it from dropping. None of the countdowns or breathing was helping, their vision was swimming in darkness as a sudden click finally forced them to come back to reality. 

“Agent!” Reginald’s voice echoed in their ear once again, causing them to come back, only for the sight to bring them into deeper despair. “Agent, are you there? What is— this is going to be a problem.”

“I-i…” 

In the last few seconds of their inattention led to them pointing at another person at gunpoint. Right in front of a public lobby. They took a few glances to see any witnesses before dragging her outside of the area onto somewhere more private. 

Her face was covered in tears as she tried to pry off their hand away from her, even occasionally trying to bite them to get them to loosen their grip. “Let me go. Don’t you think you’ve done enough damage?”

“And let you frame me more? I already got stuck with your sabotage.” They hissed, watching as she tried to pry herself more but they squeezed her closer as they brought the gun close to her. Their other hand cupped their mouth to stop her cries. Her moment of hesitation was enough for them to reach a less crowded exit.

Phoenix was catching their breath, only to smell the scent of iron in the air, and a trace of red was leading to them. There was nothing that stings from them, only the familiar ache of rejection. Their eyes turned to her, weakly holding a small blade with a pen as a handle and—-

Their heart skipped a beat as she was pressing onto her self-inflicted wound on her arm as they bit back a curse. “Why would you—?” They yanked at her, pressing also on the wound as they hurried to a more remote corner with no cameras to take a closer look at the wound. “You’re reckless.”

“Aren’t you scared this is a trick? Why are you still helping me despite all of this?” She hissed, eyes closing as the pricks traveled up from their skin. “You could have just dropped me and be done with it.”

“Because you could have stabbed me back in the elevator. The pen had a knife, right? I don’t want an outstanding debt more than I already had.”

Her eyes watered slightly as she took in a breath to shake off the pain. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. I just didn’t want to be guilty of a killing blow that up close and personal.” 

“Or you just didn’t want to see me dead, not after—” Her good arm shot up as she cupped their mouth and dug in her nails on their cheek. “P-point taken.” They strained and had to gently take a few steps back to watch catch their breath. 

“What did you see? I’m something out of a horror story. Why are you treating me like a person? I’m not one. Not anymore. I’m a monster.” Her good arm was clenching her fist as she tried to support the injured arm.

“The extraction team is about to come over, Agent. What are you doing?” Reginald’s voice echoed in Phoenix’s ear as they stared at her with a complicated expression. His voice was tense, practically demanding an answer as they refused to give him a reply.

“Let me go and I will make sure to go easy on you. Let’s admit it and acknowledge that I can overpower you in this quiet corner.” Phoenix pressed onto the wound and took in a deep breath once they noticed it wasn’t bleeding as heavily. “It seems like you didn’t cut that deep. That’s good.”

The operative turned away as she shed a layer to get a closer look at her injury. Her eyes narrowed at the damage as she tried to fight the groan. “I calculated wrong.”

The sudden click cut through the room as Phoenix pointed the gun at her. Their eyes were blank as they focused their aim at her. Their finger was on the trigger while they soon let go of one hand.

“What are you doing?” She looked at them, only to hold a breath and reveal their blade right at them. Distant footfalls echoed in the corner, coming closer.

“Unlike some jokes, the agency actually treats people as humans. What you said was uncalled for and horrific. I’m not annoying. And it’s only because of the fact we’re neighbors that I’m sparing you.” 

The shot rang out, bullet aimed at her feet, causing her to dodge and felt the tightness of the rope they grabbed with their telekinesis and tied them up tightly. She fell to the ground with a thud. She was trying to cut the ropes around her when they ran away from the other operatives chasing after them.

Chapter Text

“Agent? How are you feeling?” Reginald walked to them as they sat on the floor of the vehicle, blanket wrapped around them as they looked at their arm. Bloody bandages covered it as they sighed. The van was steadily moving while someone else drove them to headquarters.

“Terrible.” Agent Phoenix took in a breath as they leaned on the walls of the vehicle, eyes soon closing with a knot on their forehead. “I’m sure you didn’t hear a word but what she said to me is… have you ever gotten someone to tell you your worst fears are true and that there’s still something so fundamentally wrong with you? Yeah. It’s that. Quite frankly, I’m not okay. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I thought I was just being nice but she just snapped at me.” Their hands were thrown up, only for them to flinch at the sudden movement. “Who knew she could bite down hard enough to draw blood, huh?” The wry grin on their face turned into a wince of pain when the van ran over a speed bump.

Reginald looked away before putting a hand on their cheek, causing them to stumble back as if scalded. They were shaking, either from shock or pain—maybe both. Their eyes seemed to be trembling at the sudden thud from when they hit the wall of the van. They seemed apologetic before they tried to control their breaths. 

“Sorry. Bad memory.” They hissed before handing him the cotton ball filled with disinfectant. “She dug her nail in quite deeply and I can’t see where it is.” 

“Well, it doesn’t look like she damaged anything. But I’ll apply it just in case. Hold still—” He was interrupted when they grabbed his arm. “Agent?”

“I… can I hold you instead? I mean… I’m sure one or two spots will sting but I don’t want to be restrained. Sorry. I… I know I shouldn’t be coming undone with just a single mission. It’s not alright.” 

“We’ll make it alright to come undone.” He put a hand on their shoulder before gently dapping the cotton ball. His composure won over their slight flinch on the searing pain of the disinfectant hitting their skin. 

“Sir… I’m sorry. It’s just not my week it seems.” Their voice was low, meek as they took a deep breath. “Please don’t bench me.”

“Unfortunately, it seems we may have to. You seemed to be limping when you got in the van.”

“I don’t know? I don’t remember hitting anything on my way there. All I could do at the time was think of a way to escape.” They looked away, taking a deep breath before rolling up their pants. Their face instantly seemed to freeze as they gently caressed a spot with a finger. They bit back a hiss. “Oh. It’s bruised.”

“It seems to have come from a kick or something, Agent. The location seems to fit that guess.” Reginald barely held the reins of his concern as he watched as his agent frowned and put a salve over the spot that made them hiss. “Unfortunately, we don’t have ice on hand and you’ll have to wait for that.”

“It’s fine, Sir. It’s just a bruise. I’m used to this on missions. And I’m sure you had to tough out something worse.” They gave him a wry grin before sinking deeper into themselves on the floor. “I just—she’s quite the vicious one. I mean, I know I wasn’t that liked but sheesh. Way to bring me back to when I was this lost kid who can’t connect with anyone, right?”

They were gripping their pants as they looked up at the ceiling of the van, as if trying to sear their eyes from the light. “I know I shouldn’t be falling apart but I can’t believe she did that. Just—”

“Did what, Agent?”

“... I can’t talk about it but she’s cruel. Maybe she just gets a sick satisfaction building someone up and then tearing them down like this. I thought… I guess being nice isn’t enough for people to treat you like a person. Learned that back in high school but seems like I never really learned that fact.” 

“That’s not true, Agent. How they treat you is not in any way a reflection of who you are as a person. It’s theirs. I hope you understand that.”

“It feels like I’m the only common denominator, Sir.” They gave him a wry smile before closing their eyes to rest. “I find your words hard to believe. And I’m sorry. I don’t think I can believe that anymore. But I do, it’s not now.”

“Agent… It’s not your fault. It’s theirs. You have to believe me on this one. You’d only destroy yourself if you keep thinking like this.”

His agent merely looked at him with a blank expression before sighing. “But at least I have some control over things work out if I do that.”

Chapter Text

The agent opened their eyes, groaning as they woke up in an unfamiliar bed, yet the distinct smell of a citrus like plant caused them to quietly take a deeper breath. The place feels familiar but they don’t know why. Their body felt heavy, ice seemingly burning down their fingertips. The room itself was covered in darkness, as if left there on purpose just in case it burned their eyes.

Footsteps echoed in their ears as someone entered the room. Blond hair entered their vision as the light was turned on. It was their neighbor. They went into the wrong house, it seems.

“Glad to see you’re awake. I suppose you can’t move yet. Your body is probably really heavy to you. Expected since you lost a lot of blood. I made do with what I had on hand. Recover yourself.” 

“What… What happened?” Their voice croaked as they groaned from the pain. They hissed, eyes closing violently as they moved their fingers to slowly get used to flexing them before slowly trying to bite back the pain as they tried to sit up. 

She didn’t even help them, only watching from the distance as she placed down a cup of water. “I won’t ask questions on why you walked in bloody in my house but I find it quite rude of you to impose. Consider yourself fortunate that I was home.” She huffed, trying to fight back the sigh. “I had to take care of the trail you left behind. Just be glad I was well aware of how to wipe off blood stains due to my very troublesome body.”

“... I didn’t mean to barge into your home. And I believed I knocked on your door.” They hissed, pausing once again on their task to sit up on the seat. “You… saved me and I don’t know how I can repay you for this.”

“You made sure I entered my own door safely at night. And I’m sure the neighborhood would ask questions if you ended up dead. I won’t hear a word about this, you hear? It won’t be a good look for either of us.”

“Why did you save me? Is it just being neighborly?” They asked, taking a deep breath to steady themself on the backrest of the bed to sit upright. Their arm was trembling as they reached for the glass of water.

“No. I have my own selfishness. I don’t want to deal with the police. They’re annoying and I hate talking to authority figures. The usual. Having someone like you nearly die at my door is not and will never be a good look for someone like me. So shut up before I think about sewing your lips shut.” 

“... Noted.” They turned away, placing the cup of water on their lips as they took a sip, only to cough violently. “Wrong pipe.”

She looked on with indifference as she left the room and grabbed the medical supplies in her personal office. The rush of hurrying to clean up the evidence and trace left her feeling winded and wondering if she took it too far. 

“You’ve changed the nature of your relationship forever. There’s nothing you can ever say, nothing you can ever do. What’s done is done. You can’t reverse it even if you wanted to.” The thought gritted at her as she looked at the small locked box inside the kit and took it aside to hide it under her desk. She’d hide it . She took in a deep breath before walking inside where her neighbor—an agent from the EOD of all places—laid in her bed. And she can only play ignorant for so long. What luck.

Their eyes were glazed over in pain when they tried to move their body more but it was clear that it was already pushed to its limits already. She knew she might as well have committed a taboo because of what she did. It’s not simple but she’s not sure if it counts as not getting consent but she just assumed they wanted to live. She kept them alive without their consent, especially with methods they clearly didn’t know the stakes of. They were dying anyway. “Might as well get data to see if it would work” or so she says to herself to make things sound better.

And she judges Zoraxis for being cruel to those agents when she treated her own stupid neighbor as a disposable lab rat. But they’re alive, right? They’re there, breathing and in pain, sure. But they’re not dead. She could have found a different agent. But it’s not something anyone is supposed to know. After all, it’s her exit plan in case things go downhill for her in this deep pit. 

She knows she’s too much of a coward to do anything else, to take her own risks. And using someone else to test—she’s not that different from Zoraxis, isn’t she? She’s a monster like them… and she knows it.

Chapter Text

Candlelight held the bandage tightly as she fought the wince from securing it properly on her leg. Getting rid of the red from the white would be annoying if she let it stain her lab coat. While it wouldn’t be hard, she’d rather not treat anything for the time being. Not when she finds it hard to move her arm. 

One would think her leg injury was caused by her confrontation with Agent Phoenix, but no. It was from a blunt injury when a machine exploded close to her as she was forced to check the quality of her coworker’s work. (Even if it wasn’t her job. But what can she do? Not like anyone would actually trust her with something else than paperwork. Those idiots don’t even know half of the steps to file things properly.) 

The only ones that do are often the—she shook her head, once again feeling the nausea climb up her throat. Her eyes watered at the thought of hurting someone like that again. Daniel Sans and Operative Weaved once put her back to the wall and forced her to reveal a mole and ended up killing two of them. There were more but she’s not really that caring about stuff like that. She has a life and she doesn’t want her intertwined with anyone else’s. It’s already this messy with a single agent, how much more if there were more she got entangled with? Just them existing in the same office was already cruel enough anyway.

She was fighting her own breaths as she looked at the ceiling, tears in her eyes as she looked up at the ceiling of her own home. The memory evaded her. All she knew was that she was scooped up by a friendly coworker (that she can somewhat trust) and soon taken home. There was an uneasy look in his eyes but she probably said something about wanting to go home despite it not in her best interest to do so. But he knows better than actually stopping her. Might as well leave her where they know what she’s up to and where.

It’s probably a bad idea to lay on your work clothes on your bed but she’s too exhausted, remembering watching the execution. Of the one she ratted out to get screamed at being a traitor. Of the sudden and vulnerable feeling of getting exposed. Of the forced reveal. 

And neither of the two scientists would know it was a setup. It was just routine documents. Procedural cruelty. Just business.

It should go without saying that Candlelight outright loathes Weaved. 

“Can you get through all the pain inside you?” The radio she put on seemed to mock her as she stared at the bandaged cut on her arm. It was on the other side of the room, yet the way its voice booms seemed to engulf her entire brain. A lot of the rhetorical questions of “self-help” self-condemnation  to better one’s self. 

She just sighed, unwilling to even take a step away from where she is in case her skin tears a bit more. She can’t let anyone see this. It’s going to be a weakness again. And it’s not like Zoraxis isn’t gunning for her. She already triggered Weaved’s ire for some reason even if she doesn’t know why. 

The scars are something she can’t even show. Not when people ask. They will and if she’s honest, people will just look at her. Maybe look at her with either disgust or pity. Maybe they’ll tell her to be careful. Worse case scenario, tell her to just swallow it down and avoid making a scene.

It’s been like that. It’s always been like that. Always swallowing and lowering her head. Pretending that what is going on isn’t wrong. Isn’t just another link in the long chain of pain that’s been dragged by her hands and feet and by those who came before her. Like it isn’t some kind of terrifying source of trauma. 

She tried to control the way she stood up, careful not to wince at the stinging pain when the cloth hit her wound. Her breathing was ragged as she tried to fight the tears once more. She ruined everything. 

“Study hard, and you’ll get a good job.” Yeah, right. What about this place is good anyway? The pay? Maybe. She won’t lie that it wasn’t that good. But what’s the point when her soul’s turned into something monstrous? It’s not worth it. 

It isn’t worth it to hide herself, to swallow the anger and resentment like it doesn’t affect her. Like it doesn’t matter how they treat her. It hurt. And no one seems to care. For what? 

The tears were violently rubbed away from her cheeks as she made her way to the radio and turned it off. There’s no improving on someone of her station. Zoraxis made sure of that fact. And she knows it.

Chapter Text

Candlelight just walked down the halls, eyes glazed over as she tried to pretend that the piece of paper she was holding wasn’t a consequence of her own actions. Her mind felt hazy as the mild fever raged in her body. But she has a job to do, dang it.

The hospital was a suffocating sight, the winding halls all looked the same. And unlike the past, she never really had anyone to accompany her. But that wasn’t the only reason she’s in this cursed place. 

“Hey.” A hand clasped her shoulder, nearly causing her to hit them in the face with her bag. “... Okay, I had that coming.”

It’s that annoying agent. Again.

“What are you doing here? And why are you approaching me?” Her displeased expression was suppressed when she stepped closer when a cart passed right between them. Her fists were clenched as she counted down in her mind so she doesn’t end up punching someone in public. 

“One, I’m here to visit someone. Two, I’m here to ask some questions about paperwork. You once let it slip that you hate admins, right? So you know how paperwork is done, right?”

“Why would I help you? We hurt each other. And I prefer we never speak to each other ever again.” She huffed, only to realize they’d been walking down a floor. “... You sly dog. I didn’t even notice.”

“Listen, I’d let you go if you cooperate. There are a lot of people from the agency here. It’s not an agency-funded location, just in case you’re worried about that. It’s… It’s just that we know that this place has a less likely chance of getting a leak in case of things being too… short notice, you know?” 

“You’re being merciful to someone who wounded you and deliberately poked at your sore spot. Aren’t you a bit too naive to be a field agent?” She huffed, only to pause when she noticed the lit candles right in front of her. Her feet planted firmly on the ground, like wax melted beneath her feet to plant her in the ground. 

They were taller than her, the orange lights covering their face, as the corner of their lips rose. “I’m sorry I have to do this at a chapel. But, you know, I have to make sure you’d cooperate. You love candles, right?” 

She coughed, eyes watering as she internally stamped the scream from escaping her lips. Her eyes seemed to burn like the wicks as she took in a deep breath and smiled at them. “I don’t.” She shoved them so she could sit at the pew furthest away from the cross in front of them. The candlelight filled the room with the sweltering warmth as she lowered her head away from it. “Talk. I don’t like what my gut is telling me.”

“Fine, you got me.” Their voice was low by the time they sat down beside her, eyes looking at the cross right in front of them. The glow of the flames seemed to make their eyes appear orange just like Weaved did when she showed her the execution. “I need to know. Did you do something or know anyone who did do something related to how paperwork is processed in this hospital?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. All I did, aside from getting my health checked—none of your business by the way—is making sure some forms made it on time. I was told to do that within the day and I’d just finished that when you came and bothered me.”

Their hand was placed over hers as they gave her a quiet smile that didn’t quite reach their eyes. “Do you want to know what the exact forms you gave them are?”

“I don’t see the point in revealing such confidential matters, especially to you. We’re on different sides.” She huffed, looking away. “Your effort does deserve recognition but—” She yanked her hand away, face turning away to stare at the door instead. “—it’ll be for nothing. The agency won’t care about you. Just like Zoraxis does to me. You’re only setting yourself up for failure later on.” 

Agent Phoenix only gave her a complicated smile as the chaos erupted from outside, code blue getting echoed in the halls. Their face was a mask of innocence as they took in a deep breath. “This is what you did. You withheld medical treatment from someone. And that someone is going under cardiac arrest.” 

“I was just doing my job. How was I supposed to know those pieces of paper actually mean someone could lose their life?” She snarled, hands now going to her pants as she gripped the fabric tightly. “And how are you sure it’s someone you know?”

They only gave her a wry smile as she tried to stop the urge to punch them. “It’s because you’re not the only one who managed to do your job. By the time we realized the change, it was too late. The damage has been done. They’re not going to make it. You killed them as well, you know?”

Chapter Text

Agent Phoenix doesn’t like to speak to old agents, especially retired ones. It always felt like there’s something missing from them, taken away by something unseen. And they have a feeling what could break agents down—and it’s not just the deaths.

“Agent Phoenix, you made it here? That’s… It’s definitely been a while.” The older man opened the door, glasses framing his face as grey eyes had bits of brown around the edges. “Come in. I have a feeling this isn’t just like any social visit.” His eyes were dulled over as a pained smile on his face as Phoenix entered the place, shoes taken off on instinct. “You have that look. It’s been a while since a youngster gave me that.”

“I… I have a problem and I don’t know how to deal with it. I didn’t want to tell anyone, especially my handler. It’s… really bad. It turns out my neighbor was my schoolmate. Until now, I don’t know her name.” The bitterness still hasn’t taken the edge off as they took a seat and looked around the mostly empty home. There were dustless frames but it was clear that there weren't any new pictures taken in recent memory.

The retired agent looked younger in one of them, along with his wife and three children. The most recent picture was of a young brunette woman in a toga—his youngest—with two other young people. There was a small smile on their face but it wasn’t like the smile when his oldest—a young man who now works for the government—graduated elementary. 

There were far fewer photos as the children grew older, occasionally looking distant—not even the middle child’s wedding ever made up for the gap between them. 

“And you didn’t want to push it since you did say she lives alone. Now it’s too awkward to ask for it?” The older man smiled wryly as he took in a deep breath. He placed two cups of tea between them. “I’d say you aren’t too late but I don’t know if that’s the truth anymore.”

“I know. I don’t get it either. She hurt me but I don’t know. I think I see her as someone trapped in a similar situation as I am. She can’t leave Zoraxis. And she once saved my life so I still feel a bit indebted to her.” They held the handle of the cup, feeling its familiar heat and taking in the familiar smell.

A small badge pinned to a chain filled Agent Phoenix’s vision, causing them to lean slightly back as they looked at the details. It was rusted over at some places, faded metal in others with a few dents and scratches on the surface.

“That’s the insignia of the agency prior to the one you’re used to. I was forced to retire before Dr. Prism got the implants working. You’d think for all the years I worked for them, I’d be getting something good out of my life. I didn’t. My kids resent me for this. I can’t blame them. I wasn’t there for them. I do sometimes made it in the room but I wasn’t there if you get what I was saying.”

Agent Phoenix took in a deep breath, noting how many pictures were of solo shots, taken from hidden angles. From what seemed to be a valedictorian’s speech, to a small conference, they were there, but there was no photo of a family anywhere.

“I’m not a good parent; I’m a bad one. And I know what I did wasn’t enough. It would never be enough. I could’ve quit this life but I didn’t. I didn’t want to stop. How dull is it to pause, to make an end, to rust unburnished. I just didn’t want to lose my skills as a spy, forgetting what it meant to be a father. In one sense, I ran from my responsibilities despite being there to provide for them. I was a provider, not a father.”

“You’re not that bad of a parent. At least to me. You did a wonderful job guiding me.” They looked at him, eyes kind as they took in a deep breath. “You know your stuff and I’m really fortunate you took me under your wing.”

The pained smile only caused Agent Phoenix to bristle upon the eye contact. The hoarse chuckle only added to the swirling pain in the air. “I know you didn’t mean it but it can come across as you saying that I can be a good father to everyone else except my own children. I know you enough to know you didn’t mean that. But anyone who doesn’t know you that well might assume otherwise.” 

Agent Phoenix took a sip of the tea, remembering the stickiness of the leaf juice as they took in a deep breath. “I know. And I hate myself for it.”

“It’s not your fault. You didn’t know about that, you know?”

Chapter Text

Medical leave is always followed by the growing dislike of her own room. Candlelight sighed, looking at the empty ceiling, wondering if she should add something new to stare at instead of the overwhelming white that contained the emptiness of her life. The candles can’t mask the smell of rot in her mind despite its sweet smell.

She knew it was her fault for pushing past her limits, for ignoring her illness. From a mild fever, it spiralled into something where she can’t even lift her head for a few hours. But alas, not much she can do other than sleep it off and hope she has enough strength to grab a snack. Staying hungry would only make things worse for her.

Like she hasn’t dug a grave far enough. Heh. Grave. 

… How many agents ended up in body bags because of her? It’s at least four too many. Probably more. That was only this month. 2 from the mole incident with Weaved, another from a machine, and the last one—

Her fingers trembled as she gripped the bed sheet, pink and fluffy that contrasted with her blue PJs that only contrasted the red she occasionally sees in her view, the blood always sticking to the walls as the sensation of how warm and sticky it can be remaining in the back of her mind. The fever is making the guilt worse, a stuffy nose making her forget to breathe and her mind recalling the scent of rusty moss instead of the lack of smell.

Her room wasn’t showing anything of interest aside from the melted candles in the corner of her room, furthest away from the windows with a fire extinguisher nearby. At least it wasn’t behind her like the ones in her office, feeling like a bunch of eyes that judge her every move. Was it masochistic? Maybe. But it’s not like the vast majority of Zoraxis operatives are exactly considerate of their own physical and mental state. 

“In the end, it’s worthwhile.” That was the sentiment she heard as she had to work hard to get where she is—to compete with countless faceless drones in the college that only led to places like these. Until what end? Was it worth all the sacrifice? The tears? Blood? It doesn’t even feel worthwhile as Zoraxis takes and takes and takes and—

The dryness in her eyes only added to the temptation to cry, wondering if what she had to work hard for was just a joke. That meritocracy was a lie. That everything was just… propaganda. That what she worked hard for was only adding to the worse state of everything—things that would’ve improved life for countless others only led to benefits for those who were already benefiting from the current state of things. Maybe change is impossible at this rate. 

There’s no one to take care of her. She’s alone, she knows. And anyone who could have taken care of her? She wounded without regard—tossing them away as their eyes dulled from getting cut off.

It’s not like Agent Phoenix would really understand her state. Not when things are set up against her. They won’t understand. They will never understand. How dare they. They were part of the problem. And their ignorance of what was going on? 

Aside from smiling like nothing is wrong when it feels like the world is destroying itself, it’s because of that—

Rubbing her eyes is by far one of the most stupid things she could’ve done but it’s better than throwing her pillow. She pressed it on her face and started to scream. 

How dare they. How dare they?! 

Her pillow was damp by the time she put it beside her, the spot darker on the pillowcase as her shoulders shook. 

“It’s not fair. Why do they get along more with my own pa than I do?” Her fingernails dug onto the pillow and blankets as she tried to gather her own composure. 

It’s a stupid and cruel joke. An old joke. They won’t ever break the cycle, not when everything seemed to be built to perpetuate it. 

Hah. Maybe the fever’s getting her to think about how futile everything is. How alone they are, with no one to care for them. There wouldn’t be a field agent going to her, knocking on her door to check if she’s alright. There wouldn’t be anyone with scars and wounds to check up on her—because almost everyone who interacted with her is too ruined and too dead to have scars or even a single wound. 

There are no caretakers, not even a wounded one. And she knew it was because of her own choices. She could have just stayed in the shadows but she decided to light the spark that blew up her own relationship. But for what? Anger? Pettiness? Or was it because she’d been avoiding the truth?

It’s not like there’s anything worth redeeming about her. Not when the wax covered her desks to the point she had been called Candlelight due to the copious amount of candles on her desk—there were just so many deaths she can’t even see the wood anymore. 

Medical leave just sucks.

Chapter Text

“Well, I can say for certain that this isn’t going to be a pleasant mission, agent. I’m going to be holding this package for us.” Reginald gave his agent a forced grin, keeping the box close to him, subtly using his grip to hide the spot of blood on the packaging that was slowly spreading. He just entered the briefing room, seeing his agent stand up as soon as he entered the room.

Agent Phoenix raised a brow, looking at the package with a critical eye. “What’s inside that package, Sir?” Their hand was gripping their pants and they stared at their handler with a skeptical look. “I don’t suppose that is good news.” Their feet planted on the ground, unmoving as they stared straight at their handler. Their shoulders seemed to slump but were too tense to even move to something relaxed.

“I’m sending this to our analysts. The sender didn’t put any traps but I don’t like the contents from a quick glance. It’s best you don’t look at this, agent. It would only distract you from this rescue mission. It seems like Weaved managed to find another link to one of our other agents.” His face was harsh, eyes slightly blazing as he gripped onto the package another bit tighter. 

“What’s in there, sir? At least tell me.” Phoenix took a step closer, only to pause when they saw his severe look. “I’d be bothered either way.”

“We got confirmation that they managed to blow some of our agents’ covers. That’s all I’m going to say. You’re still benched from your minor injuries but mostly because you’re still not as sharp as you should be in the field. As much as I want to work with you in this case, I believe keeping you mentally stable is more important. Not when you could seriously hurt yourself.” 

“So, I’m a liability, that’s it?” Phoenix shook as they tried to take in a deep breath. “I want to help. So you can’t just bench me like this!” 

“Not when one of our agent’s lives is in danger. As much as I want to believe in you, the fact you seemed to pause when dealing with that operative is enough for me to bench you. There is a time and place for your emotions and dealing with those in the field like what you’d done is far from the appropriate circumstance. What if you freeze up and waste moments that could save their life? I have to think about those, Agent. The reason I’m not allowing you on the field is that. If you want to help, please stay out of their way and file the relevant forms instead.”

They were clenching their fist as they stared at him head on. “So, you’re just putting me on the sidelines because I was too troublesome? Am I just a bother to you?” They took a step closer to him, eyes blazing as the gap between them lessened. 

“Agent, it’s not like that. I was just worried about you. You wouldn’t like this. And you’ve suffered blow after blow in recent memory. I trust you but I don’t trust the future of your reaction.” Reginald sighed, slowly walking toward the table and placing the package to unwrap it. The tiny gap he ripped open revealed its contents. “As you wish. This was sent in the mail and Zoraxis has little qualms sending body parts.” He sighed, standing still to give his agent the chance to choose to see it.

Phoenix’s eyes widened upon the red patch of the base of a finger revealed itself in the light. “They took it too far.” A grimace formed on their face as they shook their hand slightly to get rid of the shock. 

“They have.” He sighed, eyes examining the sender’s information. Something about it was off, with a small smudge on the corner. “Excuse me, Agent. I have something to look into. Can you examine the package itself?”

“Y-yes.” They took in a deep breath as they gingerly used their telekinesis to move the finger away after a few seconds of examining it. Their face was stoic as they put it back in its place and headed outside the room. “I’ll grab some ice.”

He nodded, looking over the paper when he noticed the smudged part had a misalignment. He took in a deep breath before grabbing a pair of tweezers to pull the layer apart. It was a frequency. 

It took several minutes before he put it on the radio, only to grab the nearest dial. His breathing was ragged as the sound of squirming and suppressed yelling from the other end. He was not new to the sounds of torture but the distance of it makes it seem like wherever this was transporting from was more of a third party watching.

Without even a visual, he can imagine the blood pooling at the bottom of the chair, the tears staining their shirt as their torturer loomed over them. 

“You won’t say who else is involved? I mean, one of you ratted the others out, right? Hm? What’s wrong?” A woman’s voice echoed in the transmission, shrill and sadistic. “Does it hurt too much?”

“I’m not telling you anything.” The agent in question was snarling before another suppressed scream followed a crack of electricity.

“So, they actually did it while I’m sick, huh? Weaved is such a terrible person, huh? Do you agree with me?” The voice that interrupted the scene was calm and distant like the scene of cruelty isn’t being transmitted. But there was an edge of roughness and scratchiness from illness.

“You’re—”

“No one can hear us in this line. The radio in that end isn’t equipped with a speaker. But I can’t do too much. I’m not even at the base. You better be sending a rescue team right about now because if you delay, they’d most likely kill that agent.” There was a sip from the other end as the sound of glass was placed on the table.

“You can take a break, if you just tell me that it hurts.” Weaved’s voice echoed in the line—it didn’t take a strong imagination to see a hand gently caressing the agent’s face before it turned into a slap. 

“I won’t ever.”

“Oh, well. Someone, turn up the voltage!”

The click that echoed in the line only caused the other woman to sigh. “Well, they’re dead. I hope you’re ready for a funeral.”

“What funeral?” Phoenix was standing at the doorway, holding an icebox with a slightly damp face. “What…. No—”

“Accept it, idiot. They’re dead and the rescue operation failed. You were too late.” Her voice was cold before she started turning off the transmission from their end. “I’m not surprised it ended this way. If anything, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to at least delay it for another day.”

“Turns out, you can apologize.” Phoenix’s voice was hoarse as they gently placed the finger in the icebox as they heaved a breath. “I never thought you could do that. I thought you’d never do that at all.”

Chapter Text

This is the worst thing. Well, it might not be but a reminder of one of the worst times of their life. The rough texture of the yellow Manila paper, the scratching of permanent marker—the heat burning on their skin.

“Agent?” Reginald looked at his agent, brow raised as they looked dazed while holding a bunch of the materials. They were standing up and looking at the yellow pages yet it doesn’t seem like they were seeing anything at the time. “Are you doing alright?”

“Sir, can we not do the brief materials on Manila paper of all things?” They frowned, hand trembling quietly as they handed the folded piece to him. “I’m not picky. It’s just that texture… isn’t exactly…” They trailed off, looking away as they took in a deep breath. “I’m probably just exaggerating. Sorry about that.” They gave him a small smile before using their telekinesis to hand the materials over from the table nearby. 

“Well, this is the exact diagram given to us by one of the local operatives, agent. As much as I would like to get a copy of the diagram, I would like it if we can get this briefing done as fast as we can. It’s best we get going immediately.”

It’s not like either of them can complain about staying at this safehouse. Having a projector here would only raise brows, so one has to make do with what they have. Paper stands seem too weird to bring when the place is tiny. If any outsider tries to explore this and sees it, it would not be great. So, Manila paper it is.

“They’re dead, aren’t they?” Their voice cut in the air as the silence grew. It was just them and Reginald in the room, a small place of 4 walls and taped up Manila paper sheets in front of them. There were no windows, unlike the classic room with windows and bars on the sides. There was only a small table and a chair right in front of them. 

The light was closer to the center, a straight bar ahead of them as it buzzed softly above them. They tried to fight the shiver, unsure if it was the quiet fan in the corner or the humming. Or it could be the dread that they failed to save someone. 

“We aren’t sure for certain, agent. But the chances of them living is quite low. It sounds like they used a really high voltage. However, I don’t find myself losing hope that quickly. Even so, we’d rather get confirmation. It’s… not right we just leave their bodies just… Let’s talk about something else, Agent. This won’t help either of us if we think about it too hard.” He placed a hand on their shoulder, causing them to flinch slightly. 

They took a deep breath to look at him, pushing down the disorientation they’d been feeling since this started, only to feel worse when they saw the familiar strokes of permanent marker. 

They’re back in that classroom again.

“Ag—”

Standing in front of the class is nerve wracking. How much more when your own classmates don’t seem to care. 

They were just standing there, wishing for everyone else to remain quiet, albeit they were failing to raise their voice. Unlike discussions and lectures where they can joke like a class clown that they’d been slotted as, standing in front while you’re alone and the teacher standing in front of you just slots you into two categories: pass or fail. 

The afternoon sun was still coming down from its high in the noon, burning up half the classroom, forcing the eyes to gather together closer, whispers can travel closer without anyone overhearing. 

They turned away, feeling the cap of the permanent marker as they stared at that piece of Manila paper in front of them. Their fingers were trembling as they felt the eyes staring at their back. The room was arid, burning the air as the hum of the electric fan filled their ears. 

They can’t afford to mess this up. They just can’t. Even though they weren’t supposed to be in front. They already did their part.

They—

“Agent!” 

Two hands shook them gently in their place as they slowly came back to reality. The room wasn’t yellow-tinged from the sun, just white from the light ahead of them. There wasn’t painted concrete of the classroom, or even a board. It was just the two of them. There aren’t any judging eyes in front of them. 

“Sorry. I’ve had the rug pulled beneath my feet.” They gave Reginald a wry grin before taking a break. “I think I’ll forever associate Manila paper and permanent marker with something else. Let’s get this briefing over and done with.”

“Don’t apologize, agent. But we really need to address the fact you’re fraying at the edges. You’re already benched from active fieldwork. And I know you don’t want to go on vacation because of the last time you went to one.”

“I’m sorry I became a liability to you and everyone, Sir.”

Chapter Text

“A shame they managed to survive. Quite interesting that the agency managed to get them. Either we underestimated their intel gathering or someone managed to slip by us. Physically or loyalty.” Daniel Sans’ voice echoed in the office halls while Candlelight was still filing some forms, catching up on work she left behind while she was still struggling with a fever.

“Well, the mole is still alive, that means we can potentially track them if the agency is doing their best to keep them alive. After all, we already managed to kill someone using paperwork.”

The pen Candlelight held suspended in midair as she tried her best not to drop it. That death was her fault. But did they really—she shook her head, better not to think about that before she does something impulsive once again and revisit the past. 

It’s hard to recover from a cardiac arrest. Even if they managed to survive, anything related to fieldwork will likely be severely limited. They’d still be dead in the life of espionage anyway.

“We aren’t sure. Last I heard, that agent’s been in a coma. And the latest mole is likely suffering from severe internal bleeding. You’re quite vicious in that regard, Weaved. Kicking someone with heels and then electrocuting someone until they’re almost fried. It’s a miracle they managed to survive that. Then again, we do have a troublesome agent. It’s fortunate we managed to find a way to bench them for the most part. I don’t know what Candlelight said, but it has to be quite effective.”

Candlelight closed her eyes, trying to shut off every other sense to focus on what they’re saying. It’s bad enough that her breaths were picking up as the flames seemed to lick her back as she pushed down the guilt of being used to kill someone. She knew she was merely a borrowed knife but having it confirmed only twisted it further in her body.

Zoraxis is a monster through and through and she, as her labor is part of the products being sold, is not that different from being one of its spawn. A lot of people will yell at her for not choosing ‘better’, for sticking to a place like this.

Like it was entirely the victim’s fault. That the cage was something they built. People tend to ask why they don’t run away, not realizing that the wings that people use to move were something that’d been broken for a long time. 

There’s no redemption for her. Not when she chooses to make the worse off choices. She’s not like the rest, who have been tangled up in lies—she made the conscious choice to dive deeper in the lie to avoid the warm sensation on her back. She’d rather drown in the ocean of deceit than face the fire of getting burnt for what she considered right.

The warm air behind her led to the orange light behind her as the room just felt a touch hotter. The ink on her hand smudged, despite switching hands—she’ll be forever marked. The blood on her hand is far from negligible; it would forever be on her hands, with nothing to wash it off since she would forever refuse the water.

“Tell me there’s a hope for me.” The taste of ink followed soon after she said those careless words, eyes soon darting to the work she left unfinished. Her stomach threatened to gag but she swallowed despite the burning sensation in her eyes. She doesn’t deserve to hope. There shouldn’t be any hope for people like her.

Her place is to remain here and suffer the consequences. Why does she get to change when others can’t? 

It’s unfair. Then again, she knew everything was unfair, even back then. She knows things were handed to her, and she didn’t deserve any of it. Maybe the price of it was losing her pa to the monsters that caused him to get distant from them. There won’t be anything that fixes it—things are unmendable now. She locked herself in a cage, her siblings are living their own lives away from each other, and her parents are struggling with an empty nest. Trying to reconcile now makes it seem like there is an ulterior motive to it; that there is a selfish reason behind reaching out. 

She can’t play a move. Is there even a point in trying to redeem anything in this game? It’s all a joke. And no one finds it funny. No one will ever find this funny.

Daniel Sans and Weaved are still talking about the forms and papers to pass, often inspecting work on the way there. They’ll enter her office soon and see her in this state. That won’t do. 

Take a few breaths, calm down. Imagine that everything is fine. It’s not your right to air anyone’s dirty laundry, not even your own. When everything is a potential weapon against you, never flinch or else you’ll tip off that there is a weapon that can definitely hurt you.

Chapter Text

“Meeting me here is a bad idea. Why are you still here?” Candlelight looked at her neighbor as they sat beside her on the bench between their homes. “I thought we parted on worse off terms.”

“They won’t get it. I’m not approaching you as a neighbor or a friend. But as someone who grew up in the same country.” Agent Phoenix didn’t meet her in the eye as they stared at the stars above them as quiet settled between them. “You must’ve heard the news. It’s bad enough that it's being told internationally.”

They handed her an unopened glass bottle and an unopened bag of straws and plastic bags, which she took with suspicion before opening the bottle with the bottle opener they handed over. She poured the soft drink in the bag and placed a straw inside.

“I had a feeling you’d find that nostalgic.” They huffed, making one of their own. “So I take it we can talk right now?”

“Just imagine we’re strangers at a sari-sari store.” Candlelight sighed, passing a few coins between them as the silence grew between them. “So, what’s on your mind?”

“It’s the… flood. And other disasters. Seeing those ruins—”

“Why do you act so surprised? That’s how the world is over there. It’s not right but a lot of people are stupid and they keep voting the wrong people. Part of the system, you know? We’re trapped like this to the point just leaving is a very tempting offer. Why’d you think I left the country?”

“So, you just left? Just like that?”

“It’s more stable anyway. And I didn’t have to look anyone in the eye. After all, people would turn on me once you exposed the dark side of Zoraxis. That’s one thing you don’t seem to have registered. After all, you’re not exposed to this side of the road. People assumed I knew what was happening and agreed to it. Like I’m not trying to survive as well.” The huff was followed by a sip from the straw as she looked up at the stars, which was covered by the growing clouds between them. 

“That sounds terrible. I heard rumors but—”

“But nothing. That place was a nightmare to live in. You’re often expected to put yourself only after they take everything from you. You aren’t a person to them but an extension to the family. You had the fortune of parents who didn’t care what you did. I had the misfortune to have relatives who cared too much and parents who didn’t do anything to help me and my siblings. I don’t hold much hope that the place I was born in would rise from the ashes. Not like this. Not when ruins are being formed almost every single typhoon season, not when earthquakes happen so often that I have to pretend to panic slightly when the building shakes because it’s not normal here. Why would I go back to that nightmare when—”

The hands over her own managed to cut off her words as it helped secure the plastic bag. “Do you really hate your home that much?” A pair of eyes managed to look at her grey ones; the cold sensation from the plastic bags managed to bring her out of that stare after a few seconds.

“There’s not really a home for me there. Not when the ruins haven’t been rebuilt. I’m safe here. I’m not like those who drowned in the flood, who suffocated in the rubble. I’m not hurt or injured. But I can’t. I just don’t think I can survive a country that would harm its own people by skimping on the very things that help protect them from the environment. They never cared about us and it’s just a stupid cycle. There is no escaping it unless you leave.”

“And you just gave up on them that easily?” They tried to keep a hold on her hand but she only pulled away, clenching her fists to yank the plastic bag away without spilling anything.

“Do I have something to fight for there? There was no one to hold my hand, to close my eyes as the world caves in. Things have changed. And I can’t even remember the world everyone else was talking about. I was old enough to be born but not old enough to remember. Yet, I can feel the ghosts. I know you do too. You’re a spy. Why do you act like this is a shock to you?”

“I didn’t think someone like you would be more jaded than me. Our homela—”

“It’s not yours. It was never yours. Stop pretending you fit in when you never did.” The hatred in her voice made them pause. “We’re both sheltered from the worst of it. But I am awake to the fact that I was privileged enough to not see the rot. Wake up. We both know you’re still asleep. Zoraxis is only part of the problem. Not when people would choose their own selves more than their own homeland. You can’t fault Zoraxis for using and modifying the machine when no one’s dismantling the machine in the first place. I know so many would try to weaponize that.”

“I know.”

Chapter Text

Candlelight looked over the paperwork once again, wondering why the papers for admin got stuck with her again but what can she do? It’s not like she’s willing to get a promotion. It’s just another cage painted in gold. 

She looked over the numbers and started sorting it. She knows she’ll be out in a field for the next few days to test the new weapons Zoraxis has been developing. But it is more of a headache. Not when it feels more like people aren’t treating her like a scientist like everyone else. But not much she can do but bear it. 

At least she’s not a living weapon, like— she sighed, stopping that thought. Nearly every agent with the telekinetic implant are living weapons anyway. They have handlers and they… are often saddled with work. And the fact nearly all of them could be discarded with a specialized bomb would linger in their heads for a long time. 

“I really shouldn’t think about contingencies that I have no stake in. It’ll just be annoying and nosy. Not like I have much energy to devote to that. I’m barely living enough as it is.” She muttered, feeling the heat from her candlelight once more. 

Not when she knows she’s reducing the operatives from her own side into sheets and numbers. Scary how a single decimal point can spell life and death for someone—and she should be prepared that the next one it takes is hers. She’s not naive, not really. Not when there’s a blatant reminder some days.

She turned away from her work, grabbing the blue notepad from her pocket and scribbling a list of things she needed to pack. “You’re on your own, lost in the wild” is the mode she was working in; after all, the testing field is not something that she can come in and out of as she pleases. So everything she has either has to be given by Zoraxis—not counting on that, if she can help it—or has to be brought by herself. 

Not to mention the patrol. She’s a scientist, dang it. She doesn’t need to do this but she knows some of the people would order her to do so. Like usual. It’s not like she’s even a person in their eyes. Then again, it wouldn’t be a surprise; not when so many factors are stacked against her. No matter how hard she tries to hide it, even going so far as to lighten her hair to blend in better, it won’t ever change how she’s treated. 

At least it won’t be as bad as a generation or two ago. But that stigma will still remain. Not when hundreds of years of contempt made people in her place lose faith in themselves, and in their value as human beings. Funny how those in power talk about that kind of faith and obedience when no one seems to know about knowing your own rights and doing something about it when the authorities aren’t respecting it.

Then again, it seems like it’s deliberate by design. 

Time jumped quickly, to the point she only realized she arrived at the testing site when she finally took a sip of coffee. The tremble in her fingers was subtle but it was enough to ground her. The red cups only added to the weight of it. 

After this was another stupid conference. Another few days of pretending that Zoraxis is changing, that there was nothing to do with the past rumors. That there are no living weapons laying around. That her screams are escaping her mouth every time she works on a new device that can be used to kill people.

She looked out the observation deck and saw another weapon launch, feeling the shockwave as it displaced a few strands of her hair. Her grey eyes widened at the crater formed by the blast, her hands clenching the pen as she can imagine how quickly it can burn away the wicks of life. 

She doesn’t know if she’ll have enough candles by the time this weapon launches. It’s not like she can tamper with it. The list contained her name; if anything goes wrong, it’ll be her head that’ll roll. 

Footsteps made her turn to the side, face impassive as the operative walked along the halls and checked the room she was in. Her other hand was holding the notepad as she took down the launch angle and the amount of damage. Like a handler.

“Not good enough. You’re not accounting the wind in your launches.” She kept her voice monotone as she looked at the operative below. “Do it again. Follow my directions. If you can’t, we’ll ask another to do it. Am I clear?”

“Yes, ma’am!” The operative seemed to shake, taking a deep breath to focus on the weapon launch. They paused when they made eye contact with her. 

She can’t seem to stop it.

Chapter Text

Candlelight looked at the drinks she’d been offered, wondering if she was underdressed. This feels more like an event for board members, not the typical employee she tries to be. But maybe it’s her ‘reward’ for incapacitating the great Agent Phoenix. She bit back a sigh as she stared at the lights above, twinkling like stars but it felt hollow, an imitation of what it looked like during her debut as a woman.

She wasn’t a stranger to fancy events, not really. It comes with the territory, with who she used to be before she cut off her family. But the idea of dressing up and peacocking to flatter people she only vaguely recognizes sends shivers down her spine. She’ll only add to the problem. 

It’s not like she can turn in her resignation. The damage has been done and talking about it wouldn’t help. Rumor has it that those who quit Zoraxis and tried to get jobs elsewhere had a harder time getting jobs. After all, why hire someone with a connection to such a terrible company. Like people didn’t wish to be in their position months prior to that. Funny how the wind blows and destroys everything.

“Operative Candlelight.” An older woman approached her, eyes neutral yet something about her raised the goosebumps in her skin. “Come with me. You’ll only embarrass the company if you continue to look like that.”

“Ma’am, I’m just a mere employee. I don’t—” Candlelight’s voice was cut off when the aged hand was placed over her blazer around the shoulder area.

“Nonsense. Come with me. You’re chosen to represent the company and I will never tolerate looking sloppy. Don’t you want to climb the ranks and prove those who said you fell from grace wrong?” The hand soon travelled down from her shoulder to her lower back, gently tracing her spine before settling down the hip. “Don’t dally, hija. You’ll only embarrass yourself if you look like that.” 

“... Of course.” She raised the corners of her mouth as she carefully kept in step with this woman—Dark brown eyes were framed on the woman’s light red hair, with some whiter strands poking out occasionally. The outfit was understated but dominating in the face of her own blazer, simple white blouse, and black slacks. She was thinking she was one of the support staff but not someone who will appear with those pressed suits or beautiful blouses—and there is no way in all of the EOD would she wear her sister’s hand-me-downs no matter how beautiful they all are and no matter if her sister got it adjusted for her own size. Something bought off the rack suited her more. Anything more customized would only lead to more eyes on her.

She was gently harshly and intimidated into getting escorted by the older operative in a more private room. The windows were in front of her as the awareness of the door behind her crawled in her mind as she looked into the shorter woman’s eyes. “Ma’am—”

“Miss Sayi is fine, Brantley.” The kind smile only added to the knives pointing at her as the evening sky started getting darker, the light being close to the window only adding to the shadow covering her face with the pinpoints of reflected light only adding to the menace.

Irmellia Sayi. Operative Weaver. The fact she knew her last name is already sending alarms in her head, telling her to leave. But if she were to leave the room, it would only add to the suspicion on her.

“Yes, Miss Sayi. Why did you call me to the side?” She clung to her pant leg as she tried to control her breath to avoid her voice coming out like a squeak. 

“I may look scary but I can assure you that I take good care of those I take under my wing. I heard that you feel alone and usually, it’s those employees that carry symptoms of wanting to quit. You have potential, dear. Let me help you thrive.” 

“I heard Weaved is someone you’re trying to grow. I don’t want to take anything from anyone, Miss Sayi.” She closed her eyes and bared her teeth quietly. “I don’t deserve it. Weaved is—”

“I think we have a difference in methods. That foolish woman likes to show the rod. But I promise I won’t let her wrong you if you stay in this company and work under me. You’re clearly smarter than you let on.” There was frost in Weaver’s tone when talking about the woman who lived in her nightmares with that sadistic smile. There was a gentle hand on Candlelight’s cheek as Weaver inspected her face closely with an eyeing look. “And more beautiful if you know how to dress up. Hm… That’s new. Did you dye your hair? It seems like your roots are showing a different color.”

  “I’m flattered, miss. But I can assure you that I don’t see myself quitting any time soon.” Candlelight’s fingernails are becoming more and more white the tighter her hold on her palm became. It seems like Weaved isn’t going to remain with a backer for long. The rumors do hold some weight.

“That’s good. But you still need to look more presentable.”

“I’ll just have to bother you for a changing room. I came prepared with my own set. While I didn’t expect this, I came prepared. Like you said, I represent the company. And I’d like to thank you for reminding me of such matters.”

If Candlelight can help it, she’d rather not owe anything to this woman. Take a single fingertip and your arm will be grabbed. If she’s showing the symptoms of an employee who wants to quit, Weaver’s showing the symptoms of a boss who wants to control by sweet poison. But outright rejecting her assistance would cause more trouble down the line—the rumors from those who tried not to play the patronage game ended up either framed or sidelined—worst case? Dead.

“Good.” The pleased smile from Weaver was enough to mollify the heightened emotions: Candlelight’s unease and Weaver’s anger. “Don’t take too long, dear. I can’t wait to see you look beautiful like the candlelight in a dark night. You’ll be the beautiful light you’re named after.”

“May you excuse me so I can look the part? I’ll likely be back in… a few minutes if that’s alright?” She made a show of messing her hair a bit before turning slightly towards the door. 

“Alright. Be back soon. You didn’t even get to sit down. Feel free to rest here if you feel overwhelmed at the event, alright?”

“I can handle this event, Miss Sayi. I won’t get overwhelmed that easily.” After all, this place is way worse than the tens, maybe hundred, eyes in public. The room is too intimate, too closed. “I’ll be off now.” She smiled, taking steps to leave the room and quietly closing the door as her fingers twitched while holding the doorknob.

There wasn’t a single threat in those words. At least, any said ones. Dang it. She was trying to remain unseen for this exact reason. The moment she makes herself seen, she’ll be on multiple people’s boards. And she just trapped herself in it. 

She’d rather work for the Fabricator than Weaver. Not when the latter is obviously someone she can’t catch up to in terms of experience—that woman is a veteran of manipulation that she knows she already showed a card or two accidentally. 

If that’s the case, she’d rather take the temperamental designer with a murder streak than the venomous procurer with no sense of boundaries. 

Chapter Text

Candlelight hissed at the pain in her hand as she tried to catch her breathing. Landing on it after the device exploded harshly enough that she was thrown back wasn’t the ideal but, then again, the fact she can still stand despite the ringing in her ears is a win in her book. Her lack of incapacitation was probably due to her paranoia of accidentally blowing her ears out, leading to her wearing ear protection. Her good hand removed the protection so she can hear what other dangers still remain and hopefully take those who are incapacitated to safety.

Her handkerchief was soon wrapped around her fingers as she tried to stop her tears from falling due to the pain. This incident will be covered up, no questions asked. And besides, not like anyone would want to talk about this—Zoraxis either chose the people who wouldn’t or actively broke people who would.

The makeshift split doesn’t help much but there is help. She was straining her non-dominant hand to get up, barely getting into a kneeling position when a familiar redhead entered the area. Amber eyes met her grey ones and there was a foreboding sense of dread that rose up her throat. 

“Candlelight. Report. What happened to the facility under your care? Because I need to report this to Daniel Sans.” Weaved came close to her, bending down slightly to meet her in the eyes like there was nothing wrong. 

“I can file my own incident report, Weaved. I’m the one in-charge and I don’t think it’s right to leave that to someone else. Let me gather the facts and—” 

“I’m surprised you’re still standing, operative.” A familiar voice caused her to look up, only for fear to take over even more. The Fabricator arrived, the clicks of her heels announcing her foreboding arrival. She was still wearing her usual hat that Candlelight can’t name due to her lack of background in fashion.

“Ma’am.” Candlelight lowered her head, trying to get up further but wincing when she tripped over and fell on her injured hand even more. Deep breaths soon escaped her lips as she tried to dry her tears. 

“Do you have any idea what happened? That was one of my inventions. I demand answers, Operative.”

“I suspect an internal error. I was careful to do a preliminary inspection on the external parts and there was a loose wire. I looked at the prints and I managed to put it back. However, I should’ve noticed that there was a deeper problem. I sent a notice but there wasn’t a timely response and we were already running late.” Despite the neutral tone, there was a side glance at Weaved that managed to slip away from her own facial control. “I apologize for not being able to give you a proper welcome but I have to make sure no one else is in the danger zone.” 

Thankfully, there wasn’t any fire but the loud bang managed to incapacitate the 3 other operatives that were in the testing chamber with her. 

A hand managed to pause her attempt at getting up. “We have other teams here for a reason. I expect an answer and a proper report after you get yourself checked. Anyone who managed to notice the sabotage and attempted to do something about it despite other factors should be looked into further.”

The rest was a blur from the pain and Candlelight found herself in a medical cot with a few broken fingers in her left hand. Her eyes were glazed over when she saw the cast on her hand, covering her fingers.

“Sold my soul, broke my bones.” She muttered under her breath as she looked at the ceiling and wondered how they cleaned it. Her eyes soon closed as the painkillers did their thing. It’s best not to think about it at the moment. Better sleep while the painkillers can do their thing. 

The room was bare, yet it felt crowded as multiple operatives were crammed into the room. So many others had it worse than her, only her own paranoia protected her. That explosion only caused so much trouble and she’ll be liable for the damages if she can’t prove that she did everything she could. 

No one will stick their head out for her. After all, it’s pretty much a dog eat dog world. Pretty sure this shouldn’t be normal in the real world. No one is that awful in real life, right? Then again, Zoraxis has a chokehold on a lot of things outside.

She clenched her right fist as she tried to stifle the scream that had been attempting to slip out for a long, long time. Just how deep is she in this place? How much of her fragile mind now belongs to this awful company?

She doesn’t know and she’d rather not find that out. 

Chapter Text

“First mission back on the field after being benched and this is what we get?” Agent Phoenix sighed as they fixed their necktie when it started getting loose. “We’re getting hunted for sport here.” They stayed under the cover of a corner wall while recounting the bullets. 

“Well, things always get needlessly complicated when you’re involved, agent. You just need to find a way to leave the facility while getting shot at, unfortunately. Follow my directions and we’ll be alright, Agent.” 

“I sure hope so.” Phoenix sighed, leaning on the wall to wait until the other person ran out of bullets. “Can’t believe they’re out of range.” They huffed, looking for another way out. The corner they’re on also had another sharp turn. They could—

“Agent, grenade.”

They chuckled the grenade in question back to the Zoraxis operatives with telekinesis and took in a sharp breath as it exploded. “Sir, which way am I going?” 

“Take the corner behind you and follow my directions. You’re all clear following that explosion.” Reginald refused to acknowledge the damage as that fallout can be processed later when they’re not getting shot at. It’s them or his agent, after all.

 Footsteps and gunshots echoed down the halls as Zoraxis operatives gave chase after them, the sound echoing loudly as Phoenix’s heartbeat elevated. Their breathing didn’t stop being ragged even after the other operatives ran straight when they hid in a niche inside one of the halls. Their gloved hands covered their lips as they tried to stop any sound from escaping until their pursuers’ voices and footsteps faded in the distance. 

“That was a close one, agent.” Reginald transmitted to their earpiece, relieved that they listened to him this once. “Let’s go find the nearest exit, shall we?”

Phoenix nodded, eyes slowly gaining a shine when their heart calmed down with less beats. They changed their stride to make it seem like they belonged in the area. The facility doesn’t have a lot of exterior facing windows, most faced indoors to few several testing chambers and observation decks. It took several minutes of a leisurely walk for them to find a window that leads outside the facility. 

Their approach was paused when a stapler barely managed to hit their head. They slowly turned around, trying not to wince at the thud reminding them of several times they flinched when something was tossed onto the table when they were a student.

“You chose the worst place to come back to, Phoenix.” A familiar voice walked out of a room that smelled of medicine and herbs. “What? Are you really a glutton for punishment? Or is there something about that tie that acts more like a collar based on how loyal you are to the agency, hm?” Blonde hair and grey eyes planted Phoenix’s shoes to the ground, with their back turned to the window. 

“What do you know, operative? At least I’m trying to do something good in the world. Not like Zoraxis. I know they’re only part of the problem but you’re actively part of the problem.” Phoenix hissed, slowly drawing their gun to point at her, eyes hardening. Their finger was already on the trigger as they tried to control their breathing. 

She may not have a gun or any weapons nearby, and based on her clothing, there’s not really anything she can carry with her. But one of the pockets on her laboratory coat had a pen. “I know. But at least I’m not a self-sacrificial idiot like you. I’m not like Ollie. Out of all the battles I want to win, nothing matters but giving in. Maybe if things were different, I would agree with you. But I don’t see the point in being loyal to an agency that takes and takes until there is nothing left of them.”

Phoenix only watched as she took out the pen from her pocket with her right hand. Her left hand was put in a cast but everything else was taken out of context when there was a hollow metal tube that echoed in the halls and a knife was found in her non-dominant hand. 

The operative managed to cut the distance between them by half in the few seconds that they were distracted. “Another step and I’ll shoot.”

“You never shot at me. Not at the elevator, and not here. You wouldn’t. You never intended to before. And I doubt you ever will.” 

Phoenix gritted their teeth, slowly lowering their gun as Reginald demanded for answers. “Let me go. There’s no cameras here and it’s just the two of us. You and I both know you have a habit.” 

Candlelight took in a deep breath before turning away. “Shoot over my shoulder. Make sure to dodge.” Her eyes were closed as she prepared to throw her knife. “Before we get seen. Quickly.”

They took in a deep breath. Aimed. And pulled the trigger.

Chapter Text

It’s typically a bad sign of a company’s culture when “How’d I get to this place?” is the first thing that comes to mind upon waking up a medical cot with the expectation of coming to on the ground of the place they last remember passing out in. Even worse when the second thought is if it will affect their quality of life at work and the cost.

Candlelight’s hand was still throbbing, with one of her ears still hurting as the gunshot from when Phoenix escaped remained in its echo. Her left hand is her dominant hand, after all. She could write with her right hand but it isn’t the same. Not to mention, it’ll look like chicken scratch.

She groaned, looking at the ceiling. At least she wasn’t like the few who were in the ICU, following the grenade explosion. Some choked on poison gas to the point they had to be intubated. But that luck might need to be replenished some time soon. Another stupid incident report. It was bad enough that two days ago, Weaver approached her to be her patron, and the day after that was the explosion. Wait. How long had she been out?

Well, if her ear is throbbing, it would either mean not that long or long enough for the painkillers to be processed, both of which would only lead to pain down the line.

It was likely Weaved that caused the sabotage and then once Fabricator left, the agency decided to send in their top operative, meaning there is likely a mole here. Either that or there is a security risk based on internal operations… That is not her problem anymore. Her main job is to make sure the weapons are tested well. And given how poorly it worked against Phoenix, the project will be scrapped some time soon. 

Her hand traveled down her throat, wondering what a tube would feel like in there, only for shivers to go up her back when her palm wrapped around her throat like it wanted to choke her. Her eyes glistened in pain as she refused to put any weight on either of her hands just to sit up.

Given the smoke and poison gas that lingered in Phoenix’s smell, there will be some who might be let go following treatment. And it’ll be another round of proving that she deserves to remain in her place following her “negligence”, even if everyone ‘knows’ it was an active act of sabotage. 

It’s another stupid day at Zoraxis, the pain in her hand blooming as it seemed to beat. Her entire hand was under a cast and the itch was unbearable. 

There was no use in being ungrateful, at least her life isn’t connected to a machine just anyone can pull away in an instant. Even like this, it can feel like she could be killed in a single moment of carelessness. She was paranoid but not paranoid enough. That stupid agent is causing her to become softer to the point she believes there can be human decency in this way of life.

She’d been naive lately, she knows.

There was a stiffness in her shoulder that wasn’t there before, prompting her to feel it, only for a bandage to feel rough against her skin. The memory of Agent Phoenix aiming at her shoulder instead of above it returned with a vengeance. At least she isn’t dead, at the very least. If there was a bullet, at least she was too unconscious to even register its removal.

She looked to her side, noticing another operative wearing a gas mask and several bandages. Nothing too deep but maybe they would do well if they have their privacy curtains put up. Oh well, not much they can do about it. She’s in too much pain to care and too discouraged to act. 

She tried to feel for a remote or any device without getting up, causing her a wince or two. This led to her giving up and closing her eyes for a nap once more. She can wait for a nurse to make their rounds before she can complain. 

“Ah, you’re awake. That must’ve been a dangerous gang you came across. You made it out mostly unscathed but…”

“I take it that most who came with me are either in terrible shape or dead.” Her forearm was covering her eyes as she said her lie. There was no gang violence, only between the agency and Zoraxis. Then again, it wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary to have people taking ‘matters into their own hands’ as a form of revenge.

The silence that followed confirmed enough of the details. It was followed by a check of the vitals and other things that she couldn’t be bothered to remember. But it could be the pain hazing the memories from even entering her mind.

Chapter Text

It’s not often that Ambrose chooses to follow the noise, but then again it’s not often that someone cries in the aftermath of an award ceremony. The fact that it was the more unknown spot in the school, the backdoor of the 5th floor library, was already implying that whoever wanted to cry in peace didn’t want to be found.

“Hey.” 

“Go away!” The voice was shrill, yet strained following the cry. “I don’t want to see you. Or anyone at all. It’s not like anyone else will look for me. It’s just the stupid intramurals anyway. Of course he wouldn’t care. And besides, it’s not like I have someone looking for me. I already told them that things will end late. Give me a few minutes of peace.”

Ambrose just sighed, taking a few steps downward to stay on the middle platform between the floors. “I will. But that is my spot to hide in for a few hours. I claimed dibs on that place earlier than you.”

 Silence bloomed between both, leaving an awkward air as they both tried to control their emotions. Whoever that girl was clearly didn’t want to be heard, so the crying soon lost its volume. Ambrose only clenched a fist in frustration at not being able to help any more. Based on the few footsteps, she was likely sitting on the floor while approaching the stairs. 

“I must confess that I feel like a monster.” Her tone was soft, hoarse, and defeated all at the same time. “I know I should be grateful I can still study. Because we both know not everyone has the privilege of that. But I don’t want anyone to make promises they can’t keep. At least you didn’t have to wonder if someone’s coming since it’s clear no one will come for you. Is it monstrous to hate your own father, Ambrose?”

“What about your mother?” 

“I told her not to come because I wanted my pa to be there instead. There was only ever one spot. Since there are a lot of people. Why did I give space for someone who can’t even be bothered to show up? I should’ve asked my mom to go. At least someone could walk with me on stage and pick me up. What’s the point of getting a certificate for winning first place anyway?”

“Brantley? From the other section?” Ambrose looked up at the stairs and saw the brunette girl leaning on the wall and staring back. “I don’t think I ever saw him.”

“I never saw yours either. I don’t know. It felt like he came back… wrong. He used to be so warm and nice. He used to make time for me. But it feels like he’s slowly transforming into a man I no longer recognize. He used to not run away like this. But it feels like a burn that hurts little by little.” She got up and dusted her skirt before heading down to sit closer. “It’s a painful transformation from the man who would have cradled me to wipe my tears into the man who can’t even give me an hour of time despite telling him at least two weeks in advance.”

“I’m told you barely talk in class. You keep to yourself.”

“And I’ve been told you’re really noisy. But we switched roles this evening, didn’t we?” She chuckled, trying to hold back the tears. “You’re lucky that I can still think in English. Andami kong hinanakit. Ang sakit na.” The laughter soon dissolved into sobs as the damsel trembled while grabbing her skirt. “Do you think my pa developed amnesia from how many times he’s forgotten I exist?”

“I feel like my own parents have amnesia. It doesn’t really feel like I have them as well. But what can I do? It’s not like they even paid attention to me since I was born. I don’t have any hope they’ll ever be there for me.”

“I guess I’m worse for hoping they will be there for me. I think I should just give up on them. Not like they’d actually appear. I mean, if they aren’t here for the ‘small’ things… they’re big for me. Who’s to tell them what’s big to me other than me?”

There was silence between the two students as the stars started to shine a bit brighter under the darkening sky. Their hair was disheveled, following the events earlier in the day. It was another school event where Brantley shone in the academic portion of the competition by taking first place.

“If it helps, I think you were cool back there. You know how to think fast and you know what to do to make you win. You make yourself hard to catch up to.” Ambrose made sure their eyes didn't meet under the darkened lights. “If your parents don’t know that, then that’s their loss.”

“What, you’re going to punch my dad when you first meet or something?” The sardonic tone pulled something that made it remain set in memory. 

And Phoenix knew well that they didn’t do that—they met Brantley’s father with a handshake and civility.

Chapter Text

“Have you earned your stripes?” Weaver’s tone was flat, unfeeling as she picked up the phone, dark brown eyes steeled as she controlled her breaths. “I don’t recall ever agreeing to protect you.” The tone was quiet, unfeeling, yet spiteful in the same breath. 

Candlelight held back a sigh before choosing to exit the office. Curse her luck but getting the attention of the higher ups was not in her goal for this exact reason: it only leads to a further decline of one’s belief in humanity. After all, seeing the absolute dismissal of leadership would only make her mental health worse long term. 

She already lost a lot of faith, thank you very much. Best not to lose any more unless she wants to give up entirely and take the more… permanent ‘solution’. She’s not going to risk it, no matter how miserable she is at the moment.

Many people lose faith in the institutions when the safety nets get removed and the ‘investments’ for the future never bear any fruit. It’s an unfortunate truth but those in the margins are the ones least protected, despite the fact they do need it more. Just like the Zoraxis operatives in the line at the moment.

“I don’t see the point in helping you. You never helped Zoraxis aside from what’s asked. We already did what we could, there is no point in giving you more than what you earned. You didn’t give the result that’s equal to the support Zoraxis gave to you.” Weaver’s tone was still heavy despite the fact Candlelight was standing out the door, keeping watch and making sure no one interrupted the harsh words. 

Speaking out would only provide a target on her back, and having Weaver and Weaved agree on a single target would be tantamount to utterly destroying her already depleting shield. Stupid patronage. 

“We’re on a collision course to an agency jet. Are you literally just letting us die like this?!” The voice was yelling, causing Candlelight to lower her head and grit her teeth, pretending to be blind to this.

“At least I’m not saying your name and making you take the fall for your own failure. You still have your dignity to face your family. And you can still make sure that those after you get compensation. Don’t you remember what happened to John Juniper? Surely, you wouldn’t be foolish enough to forget.”

The air went stiff, Candlelight giving a side glance at the door, trying to keep up her stoic expression despite the fact her skirt fabric’s already wrinkled from how hard she was gripping it. It’ll get even worse if it has bloodstains so she tried to loosen the grip, yet the tension only traveled to her mouth where her lips now tasted of blood. 

Can’t even leave in more civilian channels, can’t even—everyone’s trapped in this cage and the gold is now flaking off to reveal the iron that burns away any magic left in the world. Candlelight took a few breaths, taking note of the concrete walls ahead, the color red looking like an accent wall. There wasn’t even any indication that there was a death, despite her knowing full well the last exchange with Phoenix already claimed at least one life, with more to come in the coming days.

It wasn’t like the agency is any better, at least, that’s what she lies to herself to make things a bit more palatable. Even if the smell of flowers that change occasionally do appear on them when they look down with tears in their eyes on certain days. EOD agents are remembered, and it was from those memories that she figured out that the floral scent appear whenever she killed an agent.

“It’s quite horrific how death can come for us all. No matter how saintly we are. It was so quick. Part of me doesn’t want to be attached but who will remember them? I mean, I don’t think anyone back home would have noticed if I didn’t turn up after graduation. I don’t think anyone would care.”

“They would notice your absence.” She sipped on her soft drink bag as they both looked up at the stars. “Blonde hair is rare where we came from, much more naturally blonde. People would notice if you vanish.”

“But no one will care that I’m gone. They’d notice but no one will care about me. And I don’t want anyone to feel the same way.”

“Trying to remember someone will not save them. And even then, at times, they’re not really worth it. It’s too risky and not everyone can reciprocate what you did. They’re just going to be a burden, why save them? They’re not worthy of it.”

“I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think anyone needs to prove they’re worthy of being saved. I mean, maybe it is risky and not everyone can take that. But every item in a pawn shop is redeemable, even if not everyone could pay for it.”

“That’s a stupid analogy.”

Candlelight only took in a sharp breath as she tossed that conversation away from her mind. Doing so would only get her killed. She can’t take that risk, and even then, it would never be worth it in her eyes. Not at all.

Chapter Text

“I can’t believe this.” Candlelight sighed, lighting up a candle in her living room as her neighbor sat on the floor, wearing socks and leaving the slippers at the front door. “Why can’t you walk a couple of blocks down and buy candles? Better yet, just take candles from me and leave?”

“It’s cheaper that way. And I don’t want to go there. I heard the last owner of my place died. So that place is quite haunted, so I’d rather not stay there.” Phoenix looked around, noticing how bare the room is aside from pillows. There weren’t any photos but the way it’s arranged reminded him of a certain retiree. 

“We don’t have to stay under the same roof. Besides, I keep cutting you off, why do you want to spend a lot of your time with me? Don’t you think that’s unhealthy? I know I am a terrible person to be around, so if I’m hypocritical, so be it. Also, you’re putting me in danger because more and more people are slowly knowing your face.”

“What if that’s my intention? I know I’m trouble and I want to inconvenience you as well. How about that?” Phoenix shrugged, staring at the flame as it seemed to shine in their eyes. 

Candlelight only narrowed her eyes as she handed them a plastic water bottle as she brought out a snack and a pack of cards. “Either that or you know I’m the only one you know that knows what to do during a power outage. Do you know what’s going on there?” She took the cards out of the box and began shuffling. 

“Go ask your employers about that.” Phoenix sighed, looking over the cards and arranging them. “Pusoy dos or poker?”

“Pusoy dos. Pass on poker. There’s no poker in this house if I can help it.” She shivered, recalling the mess that is Zoraxis’ casino. “Loser gets dotted with this.” She brought out a bottle of baby powder on the desk. “Deal?”

“Marking the loser? You can be quite vicious. But then again, I know what I’m walking into. I’d rather trust you with my life than whatever is going on outside. I heard of some rumors. I think you already know, don’t ya?”

Candlelight only sighed. “Just drop the three of clubs already. I can’t play if you don’t drop the cards. And fine. I do know why the power’s out. I can’t say much other than that. What?” 

“I’m… more used to poker. Look, I wasn’t always invited to card games back then, okay? I was trying to be a good kid since cards weren’t allowed due to gambling concerns. And no one seemed to bother telling me the rules.”

The air between them grew colder as they dropped the single card. The drawn curtains fluttered as the air outside blew gently. The candlelight only added to the dim lighting. Yet the air lingered with a nostalgic gaze as both their glasses reflected the light that filled the center of their vision.

“... Wait. Are you clinging to me because you’re so used to being overlooked that you feel a sense of safety when I shrug you off? All because it’s familiar?” Candlelight merely looked at the agent in front of her as she made sure the candlelight hit her glasses a certain way. 

Agent Phoenix refused to look at them and organized their cards. Their shoulders were hunched as they looked at the coffee table between them. 

“You’re relapsing. Was what I said back at the elevator the one that caused this? Or was it the neighbor comment?” Candlelight’s eyes carried little warmth as she made sure her sigh does not put out the candle.

“Nothing like a relapse to rehash the kid who was scared.” Agent Phoenix shrugged, trying to focus on the cards before turning to the water bottle to check for the satisfactory click. “At least it isn’t raining or storming.”

“... Your parents are terrible. Were you twelve when the typhoon that caused a power outage hit?!”

“It wasn’t even raining in the morning. It was just a lack of power. I took the time to catch up on the language.” Phoenix tried to smile, only for their face to falter. “You got me. I’m only here because I don’t want to be alone like this. They were in the house but they complained the whole time so I just stayed in my corner.”

“Well, at least you had space to hide in. I couldn’t avoid my siblings if I tried. Been told there was a ghost in the house so I avoided dark spots. Can’t waste candles indiscriminately so if you want to have light, you have to spend time with everyone else. I wanted to make a backup generator but I wasn’t allowed if my dad wasn't supervising. Electrocution risk, you know? So, that never happened.”

“... I think our parents failed us.”

“Think? They already did.”

Chapter Text

“Well, agent. What did we learn tonight?” Reginald looked at his agent who was laying on the hospital bed, clearly sulking at the fact they had to get an X-Ray.

“Don’t do something really stupid in the middle of the night?” They shrugged, avoiding eye contact as they tried to stop the pout from forming. “In my defense, I was only trying to help.” Agent Phoenix looked at the ceiling, refusing to acknowledge their not-as-functional leg. “I didn’t want to deal with the power outage anymore.”

“But that didn’t mean ‘break into the power plant’. Who even was your accomplice? You weren’t caught but the fact you twisted your ankle is quite concerning.” Reginald sighed, taking note of the bandaged foot. “So, who is it?”

“Just someone from the same country who is done with power outages just as I am.” They huffed, fiddling with nails as they avoided his sharp gaze. “I don’t trust the government to get that fixed in time. No offense but it’s personal experience talking.”

Reginald just handed them a cup of tea in response. “Well, I’m just glad you didn’t cause an incident. How did you manage to not get caught?”

“I guess I managed to find a good enough accomplice.” They grinned, internally screaming because she would definitely snitch on them due to their stupidity. “I doubt you’d be able to—”

“Getting in and out was the easy part, it’s the getting away that tripped them up.” A calm voice walked in, accent slightly appearing in the form of some syllables getting unnecessary stress and the f in find sounding a bit more like a p. She walked in, blonde hair in a wavy style and brown eyes framed in more rectangular glasses than the circular ones Phoenix knows. 

“Who might you be?” 

“Ask them.” She shrugged, looking at Phoenix with a pointed look. “Took a while to know where they ended up. Name’s Floriana Brantley.”

“Now where have I heard that name before?” Reginald held out a hand to meet her, noticing how she seemed to flinch under his touch. “It’s nice to meet you, Floriana… You seem really familiar.”

“It might be my resemblance to my father.” She gave him a smile, her gloved hands looking slightly thicker than the norm. “But my sister resembles him the most. I heard he used to be a former member of the agency before he retired.” 

Phoenix kept looking at her, the pieces finally clicking as they tried to control their breath. They clenched the sheets under the palm. They lowered their head back enough to cover their eyes as the pair made small talk, each topic hammering a nail in the coffin of words they can’t say. 

They don’t know how they did it but she managed to get their handler to leave them, following so many verifiable facts. Their words got caught in their throat, making them unable to tell him to not leave them alone with Floriana. 

Her smile soon fell once the door closed, her avoiding their eyes. “I don’t see the point in lying and I’m here because you ditched me. Glad to know you’re injured, not a jerk. So, how’s the old man?”

“I was complaining about you.” Phoenix turned away, the floor looking more interesting to them than meeting her in the eye. “Is that why you hate the agency so much? It was personal?”

“In one way, it is.” She turned to them, only to take a few steps closer as she caught their hair to look at a scar in their head. “I’m assuming this is the scar of where your implant is? Hard to spot, honestly.” 

“It is. But you… there’s no—you used your second given name in Zoraxis records? I should have known you’d be that cunning.” They followed her motion, letting her take the lead as they took in a breath. 

“I have to be to survive that place. I have to admit, I have wanted to quit several times. Would you even want me, looking like a zombie? I’m already dead inside and a lot of messed up things are normalized to me. I’d never be normal. And neither will you. We can’t live outside of this life. And you know what kind of fate awaits turncoats.”

“You’re already a turncoat. So you were the one who—” Their words, cut off by her finger, soon continued, “I should have known. Is… you were the one who helped me from that sewer. And then I… said you were an angel. I… I definitely hit a sore spot that night, didn’t I?”

“I’m not a saint. So I don’t deserve to be called an angel. We… I have to admit you and I did well when we were fixing those wires in the power plant. But I don’t think it will happen ever again.”

“Yeah, it won’t.”

Chapter Text

“Yarn? Really?” Candlelight looked at her neighbor and then at her wrists, red lines covering it. “I know you’re unconventional but this is just ridiculous.” She huffed, letting them have their way. “So, why did you kidnap me?”

“Your house is literally right there. And I know you have your pen-knife so you can get out if you want to. But I know you already saw that I’m up to something and you want to know what that is.” Agent Phoenix huffed, looking away as they made a point to bring the electric kettle on the table and the tea tin on the table as they set out the mugs. 

“I could always see straight through you. I don’t know why but that seems to be something I could do even back then. Then again, it’s not like you were hiding it back then. You weren’t a spy and you were so… open. Even now, you want to be open.” Candlelight sighed, following the cup’s rim. “But we both know what the price for that openness is. I hurt you. And in a way, I backstabbed you. After all, you gave me that information in confidence.” 

The dining room snapped when Phoenix flicked on the switch of the electric kettle between them. They closed their eyes as they took a deep breath. “I know. But I’m glad I chose that vulnerability. I already told many lies about myself. I just wanted to feel like I’m not… a fake. You probably don’t know how that felt.” 

She looked at them, watching as the light in the glasses shone from reflected light. “Maybe I do. After all, there are multiple reasons why I didn’t keep my brown hair. And you know that I also stood out for the mere fact I had it.” She glanced at her blonde hair, brown eyes (sans the grey contact lenses) looking conflicted at the sight.

Their wallpaper was a calming blue, unlike what she thought someone with that energy in the field would get. But maybe someone does need to calm down eventually.

“What you did to me is hurtful. And parts of me don’t forgive you.” The words were more of a whisper, voice warbling as they closed their eyes, hands covering their face. “What you said several times dug up some feelings I thought I moved on from. You left me in tears and reduced me to rubble.” Phoenix was clenching their fists on their hair as the water boiled. “But I can’t hate you even if I could. Despite it all, I know it was you who saved my life multiple times. And, you helped—”

“How many times do I have to tell you I wasn’t helping anyone?! I only did what any person raised in my circumstances would do. I’m not a decent person nor an angel. So stop it. It’s not going to change the fact I let so many others die. I played the arbitrator of life and death per person I save. So, stop saying that I helped.” She struggled against the yarn around her wrists, feeling the itch as the fibers rubbed against her skin. “I didn’t do anything worthy of that word!”

“Then what are you doing, then? Shut up and accept that you’re worthy to be rescued like so many others.” Phoenix slammed their hand on the table, only for the kettle to scream between both of them. “You made bad choices, but you can change.” They walked closer, grabbing a knife with their TK and using it to untie the knot and putting the knife back.

“I chose this. And I forfeited the right to be called your friend when I said we’re just neighbors. I chose this fate and I will end up choosing it again and again. There’s no redemption for someone who doesn’t even want it! Why do you care about me? I’m just one person out of many. Just a lone star that isn’t even part of your constellation. You shouldn’t have paid attention to me.” She was inhaling deeply to brush off the cold spot in her vision as she lowered her head. Her cheeks were damp, ears ringing when the kettle continued screaming at them.

“That’s because I can’t stop it.” They unplugged the kettle and sighed. “There’s something about you that I can’t help but notice. We are both wounded in similar ways and we both know it. When we were in that power plant, I saw it. We could’ve had something beautiful between us and I don’t know why we ended up like this.”

“We were never meant to be, Ambrose. We lived so different lives. The window of when we could’ve had something has long since passed.” She took in a deep breath, wiping her tears like it wasn’t causing her cheeks to ache at all. “I don’t know why but that’s the truth. Accept that.”

“Then what was it? What broke us apart? It could’ve been great. You saw it. I saw it. We both saw it.” 

“I didn’t, Phoenix. Stop trying to convince me that we could’ve had something.”

Chapter Text

Despite wearing gloves over them, Candlelight still feels the pang of fear that her bandages would be exposed in front of the one person she doesn’t want to show any vulnerability to.

Weaved is right in the  observation room with her, a smile on her face as she watches the other Zoraxis operatives deal with the EOD agents who managed to sneak into the facility. They were standing in front of the control panel, buttons labeled by tape with words on it and by blinking lights.

“Candlelight, how are your fingers? That was quite a nasty injury.” Amber eyes focused on the blonde beside her. 

The right hand who was writing down the notes paused, pencil remaining hovered slightly over the paper. “They’re recovering. It’s not that bad. How about the rest of the operatives that the Phoenix dispatched not long ago? I had to be stuck in desk work with the Fabricator not long after I got discharged.” 

“Why should I care about them? You know why I’m here, Candlelight. Tell me, what did you do for my patron to notice someone like you?” Venom laced Weaved’s tone, yet there doesn’t seem to be any effect on the target.

“Believe me, I’m just doing my job. If I were you, I won’t be such a gossip and focus on doing your job. Honestly, if I didn’t know any better, I’d assume your only purpose is to spy on everyone else and report them.” 

Candlelight’s collar felt constricted in Weaved’s grasp, the air slowly getting cut off as hot tears started to form in her eyes. 

“Don’t ever imply that’s all I’m good at, Candlelight. You’re lucky that Weaver got an eye on you because I want you dead.” Weaved pulled her down, uncaring if the woman before her chokes or faints. 

Spots were forming in Candlelight’s vision, her breathing ragged. The sudden sharp movement caused the glove to hit the bandaged cut, leading to a sharp hiss. “Th-that only proves my point. Let me go.” Her left hand was still healing and her right hand stings from the cut from the broken dishes last night.

Their pained look when she slapped the table and broke their saucer was still something she wishes she can forget. They knew it was an accident but it probably hurt them to see someone callously break their mugs. 

Emotions ran high that night, another argument that wasn’t able to see any resolution. She tried to pick it up but her less-used right hand only led to cuts and another injury. 

They just gently pulled her away and made her sit in the living room while they cleaned up the area. They pulled out the medical cut and tightly bandaged it. “I hope you see the sun someday in the darkness. You were my sun at one point.”

“That doesn’t make sense. Why would I be your sun? I think we already established I’m not exactly a ray of sunshine.” She turned away, refusing to see the extent of her cut but even their gentlest of touch caused her to wince.

“I know you saved my life more than once. You were the one who made sure no one from Zoraxis found out where I was. I was still aware enough to know someone helped me back there. You know how to burn but you made sure I could live.” 

Candlelight pressed a button in the control panel as her back was slowly being pressed against the nearest wall-like location. Her air was running out as she just let Weaved do what she wanted. 

“You are the type I hate the most. You like to be quiet but you place traps for people like me. But don’t worry. It’s more of the last one standing—and I intend to be that one. You’re actually following my lead? You’re actually smarter than you look.”

“I can’t fight back and leave a trace you can use to frame me.” The resentment was bubbling up to the point her fists were shaking but she’d rather keep up the persona than risk her retaliation from being manipulated with her as the aggressor. If they see her as valuable as she assumes she is, this wouldn’t be shrugged off as Weaved’s other victims. But is it worth it to gamble on that?

She refused to answer, closing her eyes and trying to control her breathing as she hoped that whatever button she pressed would do something helpful instead of accidentally locking the door. Thoughts tried to keep her grounded but the sounds from the observation deck were slowly getting muffled and dulled. Her fingertips were slowly feeling cold while her socks were slowly feeling damp from the sweat. 

Whatever happens happens. Giving in to fate feels like the safest option but can she really trust anyone in this place? No. It’s not really a matter of trust anymore, but a matter of proving she does matter enough to be saved.

Chapter Text

There are days where Phoenix finds it hard to look in the mirror, especially once someone notices the growing dullness in their eyes. They clenched their gloved fists as they fixed the Zoraxis uniform they wore on. 

“Well, Agent, seems like you would blend in well. You have to return to this facility not long after your ankle healed. But you didn’t show any other pain when we tested it.” Reginald spoke in their earpiece that was tucked in behind their hair. “Be careful. You may not have the best track record in coming out unscathed but you have a track record of dealing blows. I’m worried for you.”

“Sir, I’ll be alright. Eventually. But I don’t think I can sit by and watch this going on. But I’m putting my trust in an entire half-empty glass. I need a vacation away from all of this but not medical leave. I… I think I need to get out of this nightmare for a few more days at least. No offense.”

“None taken. Aside from going through your own shenanigans, you kept meeting parts of your past that you don’t want to see. That blonde… she was the one who ruined you, isn’t she? The one inside Zoraxis?”

Phoenix merely closed their lips before leaving the CR restroom. They took in a deep breath while trying to walk inside the facility like they actually belong there. 

“I hit the mark.” Reginald sighed, watching the footage from the screen. “Are you worried if you two have another confrontation? She seems to have a fondness for you to the point of sparing your life. And she… saved a few lives of our agents.”

“I know.” They were one of them. They wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for her. They controlled their pace, avoiding the sensation that they shouldn’t be here. They have a mission and they have to finish that quickly. 

“Our intel showed that this facility contains the latest project Zoraxis has in store. Keep your eyes peeled for any clue. Follow my directions since the last group of agents who went here got lost and a confrontation happened. If it wasn’t for whoever was in the control panel having a heated confrontation… many of them wouldn’t be unscathed.” Reginald’s voice was steely, the click of the tea cup on the saucer echoing not long after. 

The halls were winding as they followed the directions once more, trying to keep a proper pace to avoid any accidental injuries. The rooms were identical, only the numbers on the plates providing any distinction between each. The lack of windows except at the end of each turn added to the suffocating feeling. 

Could they navigate this facility with the map they memorized? Yes. Would they rather hear their handler blab about things? Also yes. 

The lighter in their pocket feels like a heavy weight as they finally reach their destination: An office that had a bunch of burnt out candles. It wouldn’t really bother them much, if it wasn’t for the fact they know a person who would do this. They never really bothered to ask why before. 

“We should’ve figured that if anyone would hide an important data cache, it would be a really obvious place.” 

“She wouldn’t hide it here.” They muttered, looking at the empty office that was a bit too… clean. The filing cabinets don’t seem to be disturbed and there was practically no dust in there. It was almost the weekend, if anyone would be cleaning it wouldn’t be now.  Not when she confessed to just shoving everything in a storage—

They muttered to their earpiece. “Find any storage closets with two doors to access it. If my guess is right—”

Their words were cut off when a blunt object hitting the back of their head made them see stars. A throbbing pain blooming in their head while they TK’ed the object away from them. 

“Turns out she’ll be the weakest link in the entire department. I can’t believe she’d be that careless. Don’t you know? She’s suspended following an investigation. Her move yesterday was an unexpected boon for me. But you’d be worried about her, right?” Red hair shone when the light of the hall seemed to bloom harshly enough to sear their eyes. Amber eyes seemed to gleam with malice before widening when they saw an object approach towards her with a quick speed.

“Agent? Agent, do you copy?!” Reginald’s alarmed voice echoed in their earpiece as they fought the urge to hiss in order to get him to avoid giving their brain any more to process. They just knocked out a Zoraxis operative dangerous enough to compromise their civilian identity and connections. 

“Handler, requesting for a retreat… and the proper protocol when your hostage is someone who could compromise your civilian identity.” They clenched their fist as they tried to ground themselves in the present moment. “I may like setting things on fire but even I have things I don’t want to burn down.”

What a mess this will be.

Chapter Text

Evading Zoraxis is a gargantuan task, even after the disgrace they suffered following the Juniper incident. Turns out threatening to nuke the world is not a good look for anyone.

Chancellor Magpantay may mention denouncing Zoraxis for what they tried doing but everyone knows it’s just to preserve their dignity in the international stage. Zoraxis still has a chokehold in the shadows if they’re careful enough. 

That’s why Candlelight is hiding in her bedroom, being too late to get away in the middle of the night. She should have fled when she was temporarily released in the investigation but she—she shook her head, covering her mouth as the breaths were spaced evenly. She kept her head down, staying in the more solid walls just in case someone decided to shoot. Her location wasn’t something that could be seen easily. 

“Find her and make sure she pays for snitching at us to the agency.” 

Candlelight kept her ear on the wall, hoping but then stopping. She’s not an Anna Ulanova, or an Ashley Lincoln. She’s just… herself. She’s not even a Dr. Roxana Prism. There’s no way the agency or anyone else will send someone to save a terrible person like her. These are the consequences of her own actions.

So, why is her hand shaking as she holds her eyes close tight? The blunt stick she was holding for self-defense seemed weaker in comparison. They don’t even need to step close to do enough damage. 

The room itself was dark, barely illuminated by moonlight and the candles from the corner of her room extinguished since she last came from. The bed was made and lined with the pillows she wanted to hug after getting home from the horrible shift. 

There’s not really much in the trash can besides crumpled paper and a few medical supplies from treating her injuries sustained in recent memories. 

“Found you!” The cold voice echoed in the room as she felt herself get yanked out to the living room, hand on the stick barely moving. Her arm hurts, even under the bandage. If it's bruised, so be it.

“Well, I should have known the reason why you’re evading my offer is because you’re loyal to the agency. I should’ve realized you would have gone to the highest bidder. Then again, you do seem to be the type to be ungrateful.” Weaver’s cold voice was biting yet her gentle touch only led to Candlelight’s head raise slightly. “She really did a number on you. That looks quite… nasty. Thankfully, your double crossing only led to a small cut. Not really a huge loss. But… Even with the smallest cuts. You can still lose so much blood. You never really gave us time to heal.” 

Weaver’s grasp felt tighter as her nails dug into Candlelight’s cheek. “Where’s Maura? I know the agency has her but surely you know.”

 “I don’t know where she is. I just got home. I never had any communication with the EOD ever since you held me for custody. And I passed out from not being able to breathe because of her.” 

“Search the house. Now.” Weaver’s command echoed as the other operatives stalked her entire house. There’s no way they’ll find anything in this place. They can turn it upside down and toss everything… But she knows her walls won’t talk. 

Candlelight tried to move, only for a loud bang to ring out as the pain started to bloom in her sides, the smell of metal wafting in her nose. Tears filled her eyes as her heavy arms tried to press onto the wound. Her hands felt sticky, the warmth that should be kept inside now seeping out onto the floor. 

The sound of the chaos outside of her felt muddled, her mind only focused on pressing onto the wound despite the fact she was still slipping. Her breathing was staggering, eyes slowly trying to close due to the pain and the growing darkness. She can’t… she can’t fall asleep here. Anyone else who falls asleep in this situation might not wake up once more. 

 A wet laugh escaped her lips as she tried to shake the tears away from her face as she took in a deep breath. Her fingertips were slowly getting cold, her arm losing more strength as she tried to curl up closer to make herself seem smaller. The tears stung her eyes as she tried to stop the panic from rising up. 

She’d only die faster if she allowed it to happen. Despite knowing she could be facing her turn some time soon, she still wanted to fight it. Unfortunately, that meant keeping her head down and hoping they don’t take another shot. Surely, whatever higher power there is would allow her to keep her dignity intact.

The weakening pressure on her wound soon increased sharply, causing her to take in a sharp breath. “Floriana, stay with us. Come on. Come on. Hang in there.” Phoenix’s voice echoed in her ears as the weight shifted slightly. “You need to live.”

“... Ameri?”

“Well, someone needed to rescue you, don’t you think?” They grinned wryly as she tried to close her eyes. “Wake up, Floriana. Come on, stay with me.”

She groaned, trying to keep her breathing steady as she tried to fight the growing darkness. “I’m trying.”

“Yeah, yeah. I know you already have a contingency plan for this so I’m not worried you’re going to die.” Phoenix huffed, looking around at the messy house, wincing when they noticed the mess they would likely need to clean up. “I’m more worried about the paperwork. You’re helping.”

“What… makes you think I will help you?” The darkness was retreating more as the pain started to bloom even more—whether it’s from the fact her body was finally fighting back from the pain or not, she doesn’t care.

“Well, you’re not exactly someone Zoraxis will keep, are you?” Phoenix smiled, adding another layer of bandage. “That old lady got away though. And… sorry for the mess. There’s blood everywhere. And bodies.” They looked awkward explaining the situation. “I acted rashly.”

“I was planning to move out anyway.” She huffed, strength slowly returning. “I guess we won’t be neighbors, huh?”

“I’d rather have someone I care about live far away but safe than someone I see every day but unsafe. You did what you could, it’s our turn now. The agency isn’t exactly the moral paragon but we are trying… like you.”

“Your sweet tongue wouldn’t work on me. What now? It’s not like you can move since you’re keeping me alive.”

“Well, we’re just waiting for someone to treat you. After that, we can discuss it further. Rescuing you is more important.”

“I think you getting compromised is worse.”

“Hah. I’ll manage that when the time comes. But you need to get better first. I took one of Zoraxis’ hidden top minds, after all.”

“I’m still—”

“You were smart enough to hide it. Hush. Just rest” Phoenix chuckled, hoping the bleeding slows down by the time the extraction team makes their way in the house.