Chapter Text
It’s not often that Ambrose chooses to follow the noise, but then again it’s not often that someone cries in the aftermath of an award ceremony. The fact that it was the more unknown spot in the school, the backdoor of the 5th floor library, was already implying that whoever wanted to cry in peace didn’t want to be found.
“Hey.”
“Go away!” The voice was shrill, yet strained following the cry. “I don’t want to see you. Or anyone at all. It’s not like anyone else will look for me. It’s just the stupid intramurals anyway. Of course he wouldn’t care. And besides, it’s not like I have someone looking for me. I already told them that things will end late. Give me a few minutes of peace.”
Ambrose just sighed, taking a few steps downward to stay on the middle platform between the floors. “I will. But that is my spot to hide in for a few hours. I claimed dibs on that place earlier than you.”
Silence bloomed between both, leaving an awkward air as they both tried to control their emotions. Whoever that girl was clearly didn’t want to be heard, so the crying soon lost its volume. Ambrose only clenched a fist in frustration at not being able to help any more. Based on the few footsteps, she was likely sitting on the floor while approaching the stairs.
“I must confess that I feel like a monster.” Her tone was soft, hoarse, and defeated all at the same time. “I know I should be grateful I can still study. Because we both know not everyone has the privilege of that. But I don’t want anyone to make promises they can’t keep. At least you didn’t have to wonder if someone’s coming since it’s clear no one will come for you. Is it monstrous to hate your own father, Ambrose?”
“What about your mother?”
“I told her not to come because I wanted my pa to be there instead. There was only ever one spot. Since there are a lot of people. Why did I give space for someone who can’t even be bothered to show up? I should’ve asked my mom to go. At least someone could walk with me on stage and pick me up. What’s the point of getting a certificate for winning first place anyway?”
“Brantley? From the other section?” Ambrose looked up at the stairs and saw the brunette girl leaning on the wall and staring back. “I don’t think I ever saw him.”
“I never saw yours either. I don’t know. It felt like he came back… wrong. He used to be so warm and nice. He used to make time for me. But it feels like he’s slowly transforming into a man I no longer recognize. He used to not run away like this. But it feels like a burn that hurts little by little.” She got up and dusted her skirt before heading down to sit closer. “It’s a painful transformation from the man who would have cradled me to wipe my tears into the man who can’t even give me an hour of time despite telling him at least two weeks in advance.”
“I’m told you barely talk in class. You keep to yourself.”
“And I’ve been told you’re really noisy. But we switched roles this evening, didn’t we?” She chuckled, trying to hold back the tears. “You’re lucky that I can still think in English. Andami kong hinanakit. Ang sakit na.” The laughter soon dissolved into sobs as the damsel trembled while grabbing her skirt. “Do you think my pa developed amnesia from how many times he’s forgotten I exist?”
“I feel like my own parents have amnesia. It doesn’t really feel like I have them as well. But what can I do? It’s not like they even paid attention to me since I was born. I don’t have any hope they’ll ever be there for me.”
“I guess I’m worse for hoping they will be there for me. I think I should just give up on them. Not like they’d actually appear. I mean, if they aren’t here for the ‘small’ things… they’re big for me. Who’s to tell them what’s big to me other than me?”
There was silence between the two students as the stars started to shine a bit brighter under the darkening sky. Their hair was disheveled, following the events earlier in the day. It was another school event where Brantley shone in the academic portion of the competition by taking first place.
“If it helps, I think you were cool back there. You know how to think fast and you know what to do to make you win. You make yourself hard to catch up to.” Ambrose made sure their eyes didn't meet under the darkened lights. “If your parents don’t know that, then that’s their loss.”
“What, you’re going to punch my dad when you first meet or something?” The sardonic tone pulled something that made it remain set in memory.
And Phoenix knew well that they didn’t do that—they met Brantley’s father with a handshake and civility.