Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Perhaps it was a bit elementary for Alice to be sitting amongst her peers with their eyes sneaking glances at Elspeth Bayes across the way. They did it intermittently, one or two of them at a time.

The Pickerel Inn was their place of choice to leave all of their stresses at the door. Save for one, for Alice. She was, in fact, staring at the stressor who sat typically nearest the top of her list. Now, however, Elspeth sat with just a few of her own third-year peers, with a perfectly constructed face turned away from Alice’s group.

Elspeth was not the only worry she had. There was Peter Murdoch. There were deadlines for her coursework. But she could feel her skin prickle at the sight of the other woman sitting with a baggy, maroon college sweater paired with rolled-up blue jeans. In fact, that was what the third years had all chosen to adorn for the night. All casual and hushed among their brew of choice.

One of Elspeth’s long, slim fingers trailed along the wide rim of the half-empty pint. She leaned impossibly back against her chair and turned with a grin while the two with her suddenly erupted into laughter with one another. Their group watched their little intimate exchange.

Murmurs spread as they turned back to one another, mentioning one of the three by name, “-- Yes, I believe his advisor snubbed him–”

“Really? What a waste. He should’ve known better.”

And then to the next, “--And I heard she had left her fellow advisees alone on holiday–”

But Alice didn’t chime in; she only listened. There was no harm in listening. It wasn’t her fault if the next mention led them to the last of the trio across from them.

Elspeth Bayes was her peer by right of being a student of Professor Jacob Grimes. She was his eldest current advisee. Barely. She was a year ahead of both her and Peter, yet Alice could feel herself still measuring herself up to her from the moment they left. Of course, once, there was Olivia. Ever constant, though, there was Elspeth. She was certainly no Olivia. Elspeth was still that stubborn woman that she’d met, been to coffee with, and still saw disappear into their adviser’s office from time to time. She’d remained whilst Olivia had left. She had proven that she was staying regardless of the circumstances.

In time, and with dwindling patience, it seemed Elspeth had begun to count down her days at Cambridge as a postgraduate. This was a strict deviation from how she was perceived. She became impatient when sitting in for meetings over the broad aspects of her paper. She yawned right when Grimes had reached the point of no return with her (precisely, Alice knew this would be about 35 minutes on the dot if not done any earlier). Her disrespect was rather poignant and clear. It was then that he made an example of her in front of her or even Peter.

It was rather important for her to note that Elspeth was also someone she came to really view as an astute academic. She was always so perfectly fitted in her tailored outfits. Strict Oxford shirts, wide-legged slacks, shiny loafers. Maybe even on the occasion, a very sleek pair of heels that let her know that Elspeth was just down the hall, along with her loud praises to one of her undergraduate students.

Her undergraduates adored her all the while. She was a dedicated mentor even though she was still in her PhD. Even when she was increasingly harsh with her grading, she adjusted her attitude to be supportive of the wide-eyed undergraduates. She’d heard it all from those who sat in for her courses: Elspeth was intelligent, cool, and allegedly even quite hilarious.

Oh, how she was Grimes’s prized student when she won various medals for her achievements both in Math and Logic. She was one of the two whom Alice realized she would need to be even more accomplished than. And she watched her with wide eyes some days, wondering how she could even think to attempt to detach herself from Grimes even in her last year at Cambridge. He was their ticket to academia. She was more than willing to take up Elspeth’s spot if she ever forfeited.

And she knew that she herself was brilliant. She had been shaped this way. But she didn’t know if that was enough to satisfy what was being demanded of her. But it was to her advantage that not only was she graduating, but she had heard her overwhelmingly unprofessional conduct with Grimes. The two were practically at each other’s throats, and Alice couldn’t figure out why.

But the walls knew. The postgrads she sat amongst watched her as though something had to give. Elspeth had to give. Elspeth had frequently gotten into heated arguments with her own advisor. Elspeth didn’t get seniority; instead, it came down to her or Peter. And for him to align himself at the expense of her with two younger students would be an embarrassment to all of her work. It was enough to make everyone wonder what she did to royally fuck up.

“Do you know the deal between them, Alice?”

Alice turned to Belinda upon hearing her name. She then turned slowly back to rest her eyes on Elspeth. In an unfortunate moment, Elspeth’s eyes locked with hers. Her lips were pulled taut. She wasn’t speaking to her own little group. She was starting right at Alice. She felt her heart drop a little before she snapped herself back to her peers.

She shrugged. There really wasn’t much she had to say about Elspeth that they probably didn’t already know. She was certainly prone to avoiding their adviser.

“Nothing that isn’t public knowledge.”

Though she felt an odd protectiveness in moments where Elspeth had firmly curled her lips and kept them pressed hard enough to turn a shade lighter than their normal color. As of late, she kept a silent disposition whenever she’d been berated in the lab. She didn’t feel like she should share the moments where Elspeth and Grimes had held one another’s gaze bitterly. That was something she could not even explain herself.

Something was troubling them, and it was tiresome enough to bear witness to the tension they evoked between one another. She’d seen it in the way Elspeth flung a stack of papers before him. When they landed, he already had trained his gaze fiercely on her. Alice had witnessed this odd silence herself firsthand. This was blatant, undeserved disrespect to their adviser. But a side of her still wondered if Elspeth would remain unscathed.

But even if Elspeth was dismissive because she was tired, had something going on, or simply couldn’t care much for her own status, Alice could not see how this was an excuse. She also wasn’t apt to share this with anyone. She didn’t want it to be pinned back to her if Elspeth overheard. There was no discretion in Elspeth’s actions, though. So really, anyone would have been privy to the muffled arguments of theirs when they met in his office. Honestly, Elspeth had lost much of her credibility with her by behaving the way she did.

Belinda leaned over the table and raised her manicured brows at her. “Oh, but surely you two talk! Well? What do you think, then?” She ushered, motioning slightly with her hands.

Alice looked over at her in silence. She wished she could pinpoint a time when this behavior was wholly new. She thought of any awards maybe Elspeth had been snubbed for, if there was a point of discontent in work, if perhaps Elspeth had made any snide comments that would evoke such a reaction. But nothing came to mind.

Even in the brief times they had interacted in Michaelmas Term, she seemed oddly placated. There wasn’t a build toward animosity, not yet.

She rubbed her thumb against her glass. “I… suppose she may be just considering her options now. It is her last year.”

But they didn’t seem to acknowledge this. This couldn’t be final. Not when Belinda lurched forward again with a gasp, hand flying to cover her mouth. Everyone turned their attention to her as she cruelly smirked.

“No, you know, I think it’s got something to do with Elspeth throwing herself at Grimes earlier in the year, you didn’t know?”

Alice made a face as their table erupted into laughter. Elspeth wasn’t likely to engage in such conduct— though Alice herself was fiercely critical and overzealous in her cause against Grimes, she couldn’t imagine that would be in her list of priorities. There was even little indication that she would care much to do so.

But, still. Alice could see the appeal. It’d be an easy way in. And Elspeth was quite distanced from the perception of being unattractive. She was just a bit taller than Alice, enough to give her a slightly statuesque look. Her dark hair was long, more unkempt when she was troubled with the academic lifestyle they all were afflicted with. She always seemed to have a deeply contrasted look upon her face, even at rest. Her brows remained narrowed low against her gaze and exemplified the harshness of critique. She looked almost like she always wore the stubborn glare of an archaic, marble statue.

She was rather lovely. But still, she remained unconvinced. This was the same Elspeth who yanked her hair into a stringy, messy bun haphazardly because of “lab safety”. She doubted she would have been trying to catch the attention of Grimes in any way outside of academic. She was unabashedly brilliant in her own respect and demanded attention in the form of respect.

Well, now, as she stared at Elspeth, she could see the sharp details of her face. The dim lighting carved shadows out against cheekbones that outlined her hollow cheeks. Alice couldn’t help but take in her appearance as she was now.

She supposed there could be potential there that she just didn’t know. She supposed this could be a standard implication law if she’d take the statements as true. If P, then Q. If Elspeth is beautiful, then she will have Grimes’s attention.

She could then add in the group’s consensus of a stated assumption and surmise their wild statement: Therefore, Elspeth threw herself at Grimes.

Alice’s head suddenly hurt at this thought as she tried to consider a counter. There wasn’t anything concrete she could offer, nor were their statements. But a false statement was much easier to perpetuate than a true one. A false statement could do damage and still be false, yet people would take it as true. Alice didn’t think it was true. But Alice also didn’t know.

But as Alice drew through these thoughts and failed to offer a defense, she could hear the conversation around her die down. As she regained a sense of being in the pub, she felt the ambiance bleed into her. And then, she realized Elspeth’s face was much closer than before.

No, Elspeth was making her way through crowded tables. She was purposely trailing forward towards her!

Alice tore away from her quickly as it set in; they could have been talking far too loudly. A buzz settled in her brain as she kept her eyes down and swallowed hard. One of her peers cleared his throat and turned toward Belinda, also keeping his head low. Oh, how they certainly had the guilt of gossipy, headstrong undergrads about them. She could imagine if Elspeth didn’t know by now, she’d probably pick up on it whilst their heads hung low.

Elspeth leant in between Alice and Belinda and flashed a bright smile at the small group. Alice breathed in quickly and looked at her. A light scent of a boozy sweetness filled her senses, but it couldn’t be from her breath. No, it had to be her perfume. It made its place in Alice’s nose from how close and level her neck was in proximity to herself.

“Hi.” She said, perfectly normal. Strong. She put her arm around Alice, warm. Elspeth’s arm squeezed her shoulder as she avoided looking at her.

“May I steal Alice here for a chat?”

Oh, Alice mourned. She mourned the idea of Elspeth strictly scolding her based on the perception that she had brought these statements to them. She didn't even say anything! Anything they said had to be from their own mouths!

She shrank under her arm and bit her lip as she waited for replies.

No one spoke. A few dejected nods were finally elicited. She felt Elspeth grasp her shoulder and shake it. “No objections then? Lovely!” She stood upright and gently tapped her arm.

“C’mon, love, much to discuss.” She took on a softer intonation than she first conveyed. It was almost like it was just meant for Alice to hear. Alice stood heavily from her seat and narrowed her eyes. She shot a look at her peers as her arm wrapped around hers. Alice let her as she caught a few mouthed apologies. Everyone looked at her pitifully. She rolled her eyes as she turned, only to hear a few light snickers as she was suddenly pulled along. They would be lucky not to incur any scrutiny from Elspeth. Unfortunately for herself, Alice was sure she’d be taking full responsibility by association.

Her head swam with the conversations of the tables they passed. She wished she could duck away to a random table and hide now. It was so trivial, yet she’d prefer it to Elspeth rambling about how she was so insensitive for even entertaining such a conversation. To her surprise, Elspeth wasn’t guiding her back to her table. She’d hoped she’d make that detour, but her own group disappeared from sight as Elspeth rounded their trail out through the walkway.

They ducked out of the warm atmosphere of the Pickerel into the harsh breeze. The back door they had used led them to the pub garden, a quiet patio that lacked anyone else. Lanterns lined the surrounding area in various places, all allowing for varying levels of illumination in the harsh night.

Elspeth let go of her arms and whistled against the open night.

“Can’t see why no one wants to enjoy how brisk it is. What a night, huh?”

Alice watched as Elspeth tilted her head upwards. Her jawline was quite sharp even in this light. Everything about her was rather dramatic, full of angles that were wholly pleasing to the eye.

Then, before Alice replied, Elspeth continued, “Wow.” She breathed, a clear puff of her breath outlining the space by her lips for a moment. “The stars look bright tonight. I haven’t seen visibility like this since the summer.”

Alice could feel her worries slowly thaw. It was almost refreshing. She looked up and gaped at what she saw. Stars that twinkled much brighter than she remembered. There hadn’t been a time she’d taken to actually watch the sky and observe its changes. Cloudy days bled into her memory when she had paged through papers for days upon days, watching for any particularly heavy clouds that would create dreadful conditions. Seeing the stars now was like the relief felt when embracing an old friend.

She felt a sudden pang deep in her chest. She missed this. No, it wasn’t the clouds; sometimes it was the lights. Too many lights could filter out the creeping darkness and thus steal away the blanket of the stars.

She tilted her head back down. “So, what’s up?” She asked finally. A little meekly.

“I thought you’d have an answer. It seemed like you were either staring at me or the paintings on the walls. I think that after being subjected to your stare for well over 5 minutes was an indication enough that you were staring at me.” Elspeth took a moment to breathe, abruptly stopping any thoughts she had, ”So, I’ll ask again, what’s up?”

It was good that she wasn’t outright accusing her of slandering her name. But she could be digging for a guilty confession. One Alice wasn’t going to give since she didn’t do anything wrong. There was no issue with complacency, and she certainly only relayed the truth to them. The truth that she knew was infallible and undisputed.

Alice looked away and shook her head quickly. She decided what was best wasn’t to play into any guilt, but instead to come wholly with the truth. “We were just talking about our advisors. You came up— briefly—“

“Oh? Didn’t realize I was a hot topic now. What transpired? Anything I’m not supposed to know about myself?”

The back of Alice’s neck prickled. The group roaring with laughter invaded her memories. Their loud, boisterous laughs rang in her ears to the point she couldn’t even register if Elspeth had continued to speak. She had to have known. And she didn’t even need to whip up a quick, hidden Liar’s Paradox to elicit this from Alice.

Alice cleared her throat and stared at her for a moment. Then, finally, she turned to Elspeth and raised her shoulders. It would be pathetic to lie to her. But it wasn’t lying if she just came out with the truth. And who better to hear it from than the girl who would lay out the context for her to parse.

“They were pressing me to talk about you and Professor Grimes-”

Elspeth suddenly waved her hand and turned her head. Alice held back further comments as she closed her mouth quickly. Slowly, in the silence, Elspeth’s wispy sigh broke it all. It was drawn out, tired. Her face in the shadows matched her solemn tone. If nothing, Alice was sure she would talk. She had to defend herself in some way. It would be a hefty accusation she would pay the toll for if she didn’t.

But Elspeth’s lips remained stuck together. Her hand slipped down to her pocket and then, suddenly, Elspeth pinched something between her fingers. Alice squinted as Elspeth pulled a little cardboard box out, a familiar one that lit up a sudden need. She beat the box against the flesh of her palm for a moment.

She flipped it open and pulled two long cigarette sticks. She offered one between her two extended fingers to Alice. Alice looked at her. She stared back, only breaking it to look down at the cigarette.

Alice tentatively reached out to take it. Elspeth pulled her hand back and stuck her own in her mouth. “Yeah? Wonder why.”

There had been a few times the two had found solace in smoke breaks. There was an odd comfort that Alice could give in to when Elspeth had made that quiet motion of offering. They’d converse over a struck match and lament over the same issues as all their male colleagues. It was rather melodramatic sometimes.

Elspeth was prone to dragging out conversations about the men they encountered, specifically: Once, as she puffed out a long line of smoke, she gave a caustic remark about the upstanding young man who had solicited Jacob Grimes the whole night of the event. He was, of course, an old advisee of his, and Grimes was not one to shy away from uplifting one of his ‘most stellar students,’ at the expense of undercutting the award ceremony for current students. He’d kept himself away from Alice and Elspeth that night and left the two alone to a table that once had assigned seating.

She remembered the gold medal that sat in Elspeth’s lap. It puckered the fabric of her light blue dress. It looked the same way it did when presented to her in a thin box lined with a satin cushioning.

Later, when they retired to the common area alone, Elspeth pushed the lit cherry down into the medal and scowled down at it. Alice couldn’t fathom why she had even done this at the moment. It wasn’t as though Grimes was putting down this accomplishment. But oh, all Elspeth could mumble then was something incomprehensible about how now this medal wouldn’t be displayed in the department.

But this cigarette was not necessarily friendly. Alice could only assume that this was a simple call for a truce as Elspeth casually produced a box of matches from her other pocket. She bowed her head low and let the cigarette hang between her lips.

She grumbled something when she produced only a single match. She struck it against the strikepad along its side with a rough downward stroke of her wrist. Alice nearly jumped when she finally spoke again, “It’s funny, really. Everyone is quick to blame us, huh? We’re fast, we’re tempting. We’re the like translations of mythology that make men squirm and rewrite to paint themselves in a better light.” The match‘s head exploded in a small flicker of orange.

Alice wasn’t sure she agreed. But, upon looking at Elspeth, she felt an odd pang of pity put a damper on her opinions. Her big, brown eyes stared back at her, faintly overshadowed. She pressed the match to the tip of her cigarette, then covered it slightly with her hand. She motioned Alice over. She obliged and placed her cigarette to her lips. Elspeth continued to talk, ignoring the flittering match she held.

“I scheduled my viva voce earlier for this term. I wanted to be done with it all. I was set. I’d be ready to graduate within my two final terms. I took some revisions from him and set up for my viva. I didn’t realize that he had messed with my prepared product. He gutted my entire research methodology section. Now he’s made it seem like I’m incompetent and need more time out of spite!”

“Spite?” Alice repeated, head spinning as she listened. The professor wouldn’t have done that. Not to Elspeth.

“Quite spiteful. The worst thing was that he was so audacious with his questions. Anything to discredit any old research with current research. Oh, what a long time that half hour was. Barely had a moment to make concessions before being notified that heavy revisions would be pertinent before I could give another viva.”

Alice considered the situation while holding onto her cigarette, motionless. There wasn’t a world where she would have assumed Elspeth would have failed her viva. There wasn’t a notion in her mind that their adviser would have committed to what Elspeth was claiming. She’d always seen him offer up his time to Elspeth in full, compared to what he had allocated for Peter and herself. But she was more senior than either of them, and she assumed once Elspeth was done they would vie for her leftover time.

“He’s supposed to support you during this since you worked under his guidance. What does he stand to gain from barring you?”

“It… Is complicated. I suppose they are right about the generalization itself, just not why. Or how. Doesn’t matter much to me anyway. I’ll be done soon. But I think I have an issue more with being denied a letter of recommendation.”

Elspeth finally raised the match up, but it had fizzled out and left a trail of smoke in its absence. She looked down at her cigarette, then to Alice as she shrugged. She moved in and pressed the end of her cigarette to hers, staying there for a long moment.

It was rather hard to wrap her head around what Elspeth was telling her. That, and she was mildly shocked that Elspeth was trying to light her cigarette this way. So she stayed there. There wasn’t much else she could do, nor was she necessarily needing to leave for any reason. Plus, she offered some shelter from the wind. She breathed in wordlessly as they stayed in that moment. Finally, as she breathed again, a waft of earthy smoke filled her mouth.

Elspeth stepped back as she overlooked her. Her eyes trailed again worldlessly over Alice, something that made her feel like she was being sized up. If anyone else had performed this observation, it would be entirely within her own bounds to approach the issue. Elspeth simply raised her cigarette to her lips and took a smooth, long pull. That was a pull to envy. Her lungs were always so strong, so prone to being able to handle what would make Alice hack and wheeze.

Alice cleared her throat. She sniffed and shrugged. “He isn’t giving you a letter of recommendation?”

Elspeth’s face seemed shadowy with deeply knit brows. “Gods, no. How cruel, huh?”

She couldn’t resist the aching curiosity. She breathed out a whisp of smoke. “So why did you do it? Did he promise a position?”

Her lips curled downwards whilst she took an entirely long drag from her cigarette. Her chest rose as she held it with closed eyes. Splitting in the night was a sudden, wheezy laugh. Alice nearly jumped: she had never heard Elspeth laugh so deeply! It was a little strained, spilling over the edges like the smoke escaping her mouth.

The act itself was almost inhuman. Elspeth should’ve choked and devolved into a fit of coughs on that smoke.

“Oh, I haven’t a clue. It is so easy to feel so self-assured. I don’t remember much. I was inebriated. I’m glad. Can’t remember a thing. Didn’t feel a thing.”

Her tone was a little thin. This was the tone that carried among classes when an undergraduate had infamously said something outlandishly inappropriate; it was a laugh that she would have associated with her finding something quite hilarious.

Though it wasn’t hilarious to hear that this had been Elspeth’s defining experience of her third and final year at Cambridge. There was something Alice couldn’t reconcile about this, holding their adviser in her mind as a separate entity from whatever Elspeth had gone through. But she couldn’t think of any way to defend any actions like this, not when she had once starkly admired Elspeth.

Alice nodded slowly. There could only be so much she could do in this situation, and it quickly came down to her deciding to simply nod and acknowledge Elspeth’s statements. But Elspeth wasn’t done. She blew smoke viciously, as though she were intending it to hit someone in a fierce, burning ramble.

“I can just live with it, yeah? Not like I particularly even fancied men. I didn’t even fancy Cambridge. My hamartia was preordained when my application was postmarked. I’m sure you even think that I brought this on myself.”

Her voice was quiet even through this. She had roped her anger within her trembling voice as she attempted to maintain this steady volume. But it still felt like it reverberated against the brick walls and watchful night.

Alice could feel a heat rise in her cheeks again. There was no easy way to dodge that accusation. That, and it wasn’t as though she could reconcile with Elspeth that she understood her motivation behind derailing the trajectory of her own PhD. She crossed a line. Did she not?

Instead, Alice shook her head and stepped forward. She stayed close to her and eyed the door they had slipped out of to retreat here. No one emerged. No one would. Not with this weather. Here, they could work this out together. Alone. No one would be privy to overhear her.

“You’re still here, though. You want to finish what you started. This doesn’t define what you need to finish.” Alice knew most of this couldn’t be true. But it would be so much easier if she pretended for her. That was her own hamartia, she supposed, a soft spot that she held for Elspeth even when she so badly wanted everything she had worked for.

So what if she embodied a few mistakes? She’d still be well off if she could manage to pull together glowing recommendations from anyone else. It wasn’t as though Elspeth was disregarded by certain pockets of faculty like her. She had a few more options than Alice ever would.

Elspeth’s lips slowly found her cigarette. She bounced on her leg and sighed, smoke still finding itself everywhere as she grew more discontent.

“That’s just the dilemma. I won’t be able to finish.”

Alice pressed her cigarette to her lips and squinted. She slowly rolled her lips over the thin stick and shrugged. “But you will? Why not present at the start of Trinity Term? They’d have to let you if it’s just revisions.”

Elspeth smiled. But that curling of her lips was forced, the look that glossed over her eyes was stricken with a faraway gaze. She shook her head.

“I can only present if I am on decent terms with the professor. He’s made it clear. I’m stuck in limbo until I settle my score. Or, I could accept defeat. I’m bound to scrounge up someone as an adviser, but it just wouldn’t be great on paper.”

Alice had spent a lot of time competing with Elspeth. If this were her first Michaelmas Term and she had just met Elspeth, it would’ve been easier. She would have been more than happy to have one less person to compete with. She knew she had been hand-picked out of many applications because she was capable, smart, and astutely devised.

But so was Elspeth. It was wildly unfair to feel pitted against a mathematically gifted woman who strung together lengthy explanations of theorems faster than anyone she had ever met. In fact, she wasn’t even sure how she and Peter matched up to one another. But in favor of Peter’s comparable brilliance, Elspeth and her accomplishments were consistently shelved just like her. She rather liked the times they had a second to commiserate. Elspeth was never cruelly mean, not outwardly to her. She enjoyed any rare moment Elspeth would have spared for her in her first year.

She couldn't even picture a life outside of Cambridge. What would Elspeth do? Would she be driven to withdraw? To make a fool of herself like many before them? Alice huffed out smoke after holding it for slightly too long. She edged on the threat of a cough. She had to say something.

“You can still finish your PhD. I’d take an adviser change.” She half-blurted, louder than intended. Alice would never dream of taking an adviser change. Elspeth could take the cheap, roundabout way, or she could see to fawning her way out of this.

Elspeth stared at her. Her eyes were trained on her. She smirked.

“Let’s play a little Devil’s Advocate, yeah?” Her dark, big eyes widened as she lowered her hand and flicked her cigarette. Ashes fell onto the cobblestone. Alice wanted to take back her statement.

But Elspeth began her descent into that newly acknowledged rabbit hole. She turned her face to the sky this time. She spoke with a cocky, pert smile. Alice also turned away from her to face the sky.

“Would you be willing to forfeit that letter of recommendation? Would you admit defeat and let him be the end of everything you worked for?”

She ha already considered this and decided: Alice would never let herself delve into the point of no return. She had understood that there was too much on the line to go into academia for Magick. Elspeth apparently had seen this as an opening to be fallible.

“It’s dependent. I think I’d rather not, though.”

“Why?”

Why not? If this were her own situation, she would still have opportunities. She’d likely have a decent pick of faculty who would sign off on her thesis and be there to hear her viva voce. She’d have her PhD in the palm of her hand and whatever job offers she could scrounge up afterward with another professor’s word to pave the way.

“I wouldn’t want to look like I gave up.”

“You have my answer then. The department talks, love. It isn’t that easy. So, I’m stuck having to grovel and hope I’ll make my way into his good graces. Imagine the horror of it all! Going into academia just to haze your students the way you once were. It’s all a silly ritual. I think I’m done with it.”

And when Elspeth said haze, she knew Alice would also have to take this as true. When you are brought into an institution where everyone knew the newcomers had to earn what the more senior members already had. Elspeth had even been endorsed to commit to this, scrawling red, angry ink through Alice’s paper only to hand it back to her with a pretentious little smile and dark rings under her eyes. But something was exciting about it. They had a standard she had to live up to for just a smidge of approval.

She’d seen Elspeth live through this, too. She saw the frustration all across her face as she slammed doors open, left labs abruptly, and endured Grimes’s loud critiques of her for shoddy incantation work all in her own first year. There was a level of inexplicable camaraderie that came with being a student of Grimes alongside Elspeth. She was a special case.

Admittedly, Alice hoped she wouldn’t leave for another professor. She hoped Elspeth was going to at least try and endure it a little longer. Even if she still had to allow her time to be allotted, she rather enjoyed seeing Elspeth so proud and triumphant in her disposition. Something about it was different from how she felt about being around anyone else at Cambridge. Even her time with Peter was incomparable.

She felt her breath catch in her throat before she even looked over at Elspeth. She looked over at her when she did this, both of them staring at one another again. Alice cracked a smile, finally, and watched as Elspeth’s own expression seemed to ease up.

“You hazed me.” She drew out, trying to lighten the mood.

Elspeth scoffed and raised both her arms. “You were making grammatical cardinal sins! I never stalked around you and threw pens and paperweights at you when you recited Latin. I was easy on you. I gave you my notes and let you practice with me!”

They both shared a light laugh. Elspeth’s laugh was refreshing to hear. It was soft, hearty. Healthy. The same laugh she’d shared with her acquaintances from her year.

Alice took in a quick huff of her cigarette as Elspeth moved in closer, taking a moment to grab onto her shoulder. Her hand was warm. She offered some shelter from the cold. Alice slowly breathed the smoke out as she shook her gently.

“Darling, I don’t think I could ever haze you anyway. I’ll save it for Peter, yeah? He needs a taste of his medicine sometimes.”

Alice had a sudden realization at his mention. Her eyes widened as she pulled the cigarette from her lips. “Oh, wait, does Peter know what happened?”

Elspeth drew her lips together. She looked off for a moment. Pensive. Her eyes flickered back to Alice.

“No, he doesn’t. I’d prefer he didn’t– in fact, I would prefer if no one knew.”

Her gaze waited on her. Alice quickly nodded.

“Your secret is as good as mine.”

“Thank you.”

“But why didn’t you tell me earlier? Why now?”

She watched as Elspeth flicked her ashes again. Upon this reminder, Alice quickly did the same and allowed a big stream of ashes to fall.

Her lips were taut again. “Well…” She began, “It’s not like we really get a chance to talk outside of labs and meetings. There’s no room for personal talk then.” Alice listened to her mumblings and came to a quick realization. Elspeth wouldn’t tell just anyone this information. Hell, Alice wouldn’t.

Alice sighed and looked up at the stars. Elspeth followed suit. They both enjoyed the silence they could offer one another. She felt pride swell in her chest as she considered the significance behind this notion.

Then, slowly, Alice put her cigarette up to her lips again. She didn’t necessarily want to sacrifice personal time away from her own dissertation. She loathed the idea of suggesting that they hang out in more social contexts, but just a look from Elspeth would change her mind. Even a few words shared so personally like this were enough to warm her to her presence.

“I’d enjoy working with you again, though. 2 more terms. That’s it. You wouldn’t have to see him past that.”

Alice knew this was inherently paradoxical. So many jobs would be reliant on her connections and dedication in academia. Unless Elspeth intended to not proceed with such a job, Alice feared her completion of her PhD would fall flat.

Elspeth sighed. “Actually, I should head out. I have a flight home tomorrow for the break.”

Alice watched as Elspeth stared down at the cigarette knub between her fingers. It faintly glimmered a deep red. She tossed it down and snubbed it with the tip of her sneaker.

“Oh. Right. Intersession…”

“Are you headed back to the states as well?”

Alice didn’t even consider returning home. She hadn’t previously as it was costly. It would be in her favor to stay and catch up as much as she could before the term began again. But she could feel a light pang of jealousy to think about how Elspeth was going to be home with family. She would be lucky enough to enjoy a meal that wasn’t insufficient in nutrition.

She supposed Elspeth deserved it. Instead of a snide remark, she mumbled, “No. I wish.” Part of her really meant it.

“You should go visit. I’m excited to see my brother and sisters— and my niece! I’m an aunt now, such a crazy notion!” And thus began Elspeth’s excited rambling, something that finally drew Alice’s mind away from everything they talked about. “My brother mailed a photo of her and she’s the cutest baby I’ve seen. I’ll be meeting her when I’m home. My sister-in-law talked about putting her in ballet. Said she’d hope she’d be just as brilliant as us from it.”

“Wait, ballet?”

Ballet was one of those things that seemed so far from what they were pursuing. But Elspeth’s eyes seemed to shimmer at the mention of it. A deep longing warmed her at her core in the inclement weather. She vaguely missed the idea of having time for a hobby like that. Something was soothing about having the time to waste on something that didn’t build the foundations of academic thought. That feeling never lasted long, however, when she realized how much time she had lost dedicated to something that was not bettering her in any way that would help her get ahead.

“Oh yes, you didn’t know? Danced until I was 16. Maybe when I’m home I’ll get to see my little sister’s recital. I still love it. It was predictable and easy to pick up when I was little. It’s so deeply rooted in sequential theorems, too. My teacher used to tell me that I always put my focus on the numerical value of my artistry. But I haven’t danced in so long, I couldn’t even do it if I tried. Well. Maybe when the little one is older, right?”

Alice offered her a weak smile as she copied the movement she did to put out her cigarette. A light buzz carried her as they walked with one another, reinforcing a small delight in hearing Elspeth becoming quite passionate in something that was far removed from their world. A slight, intrusive thought then came to mind: Did Grimes know she danced? Did he read about how she’d been artistically inclined since she could walk? Did she write it in her personal statement? What really did Grimes know about Elspeth?

Alice knew she did not know much before Elspeth had revealed this to her.

She tilted her head a little and asked, “Maybe. Think it’ll help her with math?”

Elspeth snorted. “What’s the saying about correlation and causation again, love?” Her tone grew soft, drawn out as she giggled at the end of her sentence. Alice could feel a flush across her face. She lowered her head as they stepped into the pub together. It took everything in her to hope Elspeth wouldn’t sneak a glance at her face.

Alice shook her head. “But you inferred that!”

“Why, I infer nothing! Anyhow, she will have to be great at math. All of the Bayes are… But I hope she chooses dance over it. She can be brilliant and passionate then.”

They were welcomed back into the pub with a blast of warmth. Alice shuddered deeply as they stopped together. Elspeth also seemed to let go of a shiver she was holding in. She brushed her clothes down quickly and cast a glance over at the tables of people. She stretched herself out to look around for a group in particular.

She glanced at Alice again and tilted her head. “Guess this is your stop.”

But Alice didn’t want to cut this short. This meant that they wouldn’t have another chance to be alone. But this also meant sacrificing time with her peers.

She shook her head quickly. “I actually want to get home soon. It’s quite late.”

Elspeth smiled and nodded slowly. “Very well. You can walk me home then. Need to say bye first?”

She supposed that if they returned to visit her group, it would be rather silent. She didn’t want to risk another damper in the little time they could speak to one another. “No, I’ll be fine.”

“Great. Me too.”

Elspeth slipped her arm around hers. That felt natural, normal even. It was as though Elspeth was an old friend as they walked together, a stance she’d taken once or twice when walking with Belinda late at night. They walked quickly through the loud pub, both sure no one would particularly look for them. Alice was relieved to hear the sound of glasses clinking and rambunctious conversations disappear from earshot as they left the pub.

She sighed, content. A cloud of air pushed out from her lips as she breathed. This came with the cold night reintroduced to them as they hurried against the sidewalk together. A small chill permeated her bones even as she clung to Elspeth.

She held onto her arm as they walked, both of them close for their walk home. Elspeth finally picked up their previous topic of conversation, “Right where we were then– Do you have siblings? You seem like an older sister.”

“Ah, no. Only child. Just me and my parents. You’ve got a few siblings, huh?”

“Oh yeah, an older brother and a younger sister. I’m the middle child.” She felt that was rather evident in how her speech was paced. Elspeth always had an idea, always had a word or two. She picked up on this upon observations alone, which was her own forte as someone who always looked for another to engage with.

“Is your sister a Radcliffe girl, too?”

Elspeth smiled with half-lidded eyes. Her look was almost entirely jaded as she shook her head. “No, Harvard.”

Alice realized her mistake and uttered a quick apology. Embarrassment struck her as she recalled that she knew this topic and her relation to it quite well. Elspeth shook her head and still held onto her arm.

She humored her, “It’s fine. The merger is going through slowly. I’m proud she’s getting the Harvard experience, but Radcliffe…” Her tone became soft. Gentle almost. Radcliffe was proudly her undergrad. Upon previous mention, Elspeth regarded the institution with a yearn for her younger days.

Though she’d heard her institution would cease to exist as it would be absorbed by Harvard. She couldn’t see the need to grieve this. It was a grand thing for this to occur. It would finally alleviate their notion that there needed to be a separation of men and women. In fact, it was simply the precedent of Harvard as it realigned with modern academia. It was hardly an issue Elspeth should lament over.

“There was just this sense of community within Radcliffe. I rather enjoyed being surrounded by like-minded peers. Especially when they understood how we’d have to bypass much more.”

Alice wasn’t in agreement with Elspeth on these issues. There was no barrier they needed to bypass because of their gender. She wasn’t sure how often they had gotten into this discussion by implication, but she was not shocked that it could be a recurring topic between them. But, instead, she wondered now if this could connect to a rather intrusive thought she had. It was a thought that she knew wasn’t appropriate, but she wanted to know.

She squeezed Elspeth’s bicep lightly. She could feel a slight muscle underneath her sweater. If she had ever held onto Elspeth like this before, she would have assumed that she was as athletic as she assured. She swallowed quietly and cleared her throat. “Considering what you said earlier, may I ask something?” She thought of how Elspeth quickly denounced any relation to men. She thought briefly then of how she had kept her eyes so set on Elspeth often, how she admired her in silence while she was brilliant and bold.

Elspeth squeezed her arm back. She wanted to relax at her touch. She felt warmed enough by her presence. She could sink against her shoulder if she really wanted. But she couldn’t.

“Oh, sure. What’s on your mind, love?” Her voice was low, rich. Like honey in black coffee. Alice wondered how to proceed while clearly flustered.

“Are…” She didn’t know what to ask. She was not sure what would incriminate her.

“Is… It true that Radcliffe students were quite… Open?”

Elspeth cocked a brow at her. Her pink lips quirked up slightly. This little smirk did not help her thoughts.

“Now, we’ve been over this, right? What is true of a group is not true of an individual. Or, what is true of an individual is not true of an entire group. So, as a whole, no. Radcliffe students are not. It’s a diverse group of personalities in just a single cohort. If you are asking if I am open, then I am afraid you know my answer.”

Their steps reverberated against the cobblestone as they continued. Elspeth cast her gaze behind them, forward, and then finally turned to Alice with a cheeky wink. Alice breathed in sharply. She winced at the sudden pinch in her chest when she breathed in.

Alice knew, quietly, that they might share this in one way. But it wasn’t as though she could act on it. She didn’t want to be seen as anything other than fully capable in academia, not as others could perceive her.

“Then I must ask, are you… How’d you put it, ‘open?’”

“I mean… I’ve had boyfriends.”

“So you only fancy men?”

She couldn’t fuel her ego by telling her that she may be considering otherwise. The conversation would eventually have to lead to the fact that she would like to enjoy her company as well. Alice shook her head slowly. “I don’t know.”

Elspeth giggled at this, soft and girlish. “Ah. Well, how are you sure? Have you ever felt a certain way? Tested out your extent?”

“I mean, I don’t think I know anyone I’m particularly comfortable testing that with.”

“I think you may. If you wanted to.”

Alice realized quickly what she was saying as they finally arrived at the looming brick walls of Cambridge. The river Cam loomed nearby, dreary and dark. Elspeth cast her gaze upon its inky face as she encouraged the silence to settle. Alice thought about it slowly. There wasn’t anything that could bind her to a kiss. Elspeth wasn’t going to expect anything from her. All it had to be was a little test. Elspeth even said it.

Her thoughts drifted to Peter for a moment. Was it even possible to like him and Elspeth at once? She supposed there was a possibility of this if she had recognized that she had an interest in Elspeth. But she didn’t know how far that interest could go. For all she was sure, it could have been akin to one picking a major they had vaguely liked. It could be that she may feel otherwise and make a different choice.

Elspeth was allowing her this.

“What, would you just kiss me?”

“Well, do you want me to? You could kiss me if you’d prefer. Or we could go without knowing too. I’m not particularly concerned about my sexuality.”

It was a tempting offer. Tantamount, it was a frightening one as well. Alice wasn’t sure how deep into knowing herself she would want to go. It was easier to ignore and assume it was simply an unconscious thought brought to her forefront. It would be much easier to assume that all she was fond of was that tall, floppy-haired boy whom she could not pin down. And she was not floppy-haired, nor was she much taller than her, nor was she any easier to find. But she was alluring in the sense that Alice stayed magnetized to her compared to their other female peers.

Alice nodded and sighed. She turned, still wrapped around Elspeth’s arm. She was suddenly close. Much closer than they were when Elspeth had lit her cigarette with her own. Elspeth’s eyes widened slightly, clearly taken aback at the motion. But she didn't move away. Instead, she turned her head slightly and offered her that polite, quiet smile.

“Oh,” She murmured, voice frayed by the wind. Alice suddenly felt awkwardly wrong for this.

She could assume that Elspeth had recently been in a predicament like this not too long ago, such as with their adviser. The thought of this made Alice quickly wonder if Elspeth had flinched away from a similar moment. A seed of doubt had been cultivated as she considered her tenseness in the lecture halls, how she left labs with them in a hurry, and how she lashed out viciously in return to snide comments. Perhaps it was that Elspeth was indeed deeply discomforted by her experience with him.

Alice froze in place and wondered now if Elspeth, too, was having harsh second thoughts.

Before she could allow her space, Elspeth gently smoothed her other hand against her waist. She pat her gently, as though to tell her she could back out. She hummed, delighted at her demeanor. “It’s okay, darling. I think you have your answer–” Upon watching how she relaxed, Alice moved forward. She closed her eyes and tilted her head up, her own free hand up to cup Elspeth’s cheek.

She wasn’t going to shy away from testing a hypothesis. And as she felt a weak, familiar rushing burn between her ribs, she realized what she had feared. She deeply enjoyed the soft, tobacco-y taste that was bitter on her lips. It amazed her how gently Elspeth returned the kiss as well. She almost instinctively knew Alice was going to change her mind. She was sure. It felt right.

Alice didn’t want to pull away. Her mind was crowded with memories of wondering what kind of guys Elspeth liked. Though she would never allow this to come up in conversation when there were always much better topics to explore. She wasn’t going to talk about superfluous topics that would make her appear to Elspeth as a gossip.

She remembered watching Elspeth at conferences or in their weekly meetings with the professor. She would nervously wring her lip under her top teeth, and Alice would always recognize how full and deeply flushed Elspeth’s lips were then.

But most of all, she did love hearing her random bursts of intense math. It was rather seductive how Elspeth could pull her into a deep, spiraling conversation that tested her own logical basis. She could feel Elspeth’s attempts at decoding what her biases had to be behind any statement. And she loved the challenge that it brought.

Entirely, she had expected that the kiss would make her feel quite stricken.

She carefully inched away from her, almost reluctant. She could feel Elspeth move in to press her lips to her own and stopped, hoping for a moment she would draw her in now. She anticipated that they could belong in a heated haze together. Instead, she opened her eyes as Elspeth curtly laughed. Soft. Airy.

Distant. Elspeth reached up to touch her cheek, then sighed. She watched her for a long moment, and in this, Alice knew it could not be akin to a moment where they had once sized one another up with shifty eyes. She watched her as if she knew her well.

Alice smiled slightly. She supposed Elspeth was waiting for her to speak first.

“May I kiss you again? Just to be sure?”

Elspeth grinned and burst into laughter. It carried in the cold, winter air. Bounced off the water’s face like a haphazardly thrown rock. She rubbed Alice’s cheek and moved in again.

“You rascal, is one kiss not enough to satisfy you? Or am I just that good?” She whispered, breathing warm against her lips.

Alice did not answer. Alice moved in again and pressed into a kiss with her again.

Another long moment ensued as she felt perfectly warmed by their shared proximity. There was a smoothness about Elspeth as well, a fluidity she had not felt before in movements when she had moved in close enough to hold onto her with both arms. Elspeth was not really bothered by her going in for more; she almost encouraged it as they stood alone by the Cam. Alice had matched this with a slightly loose hold on her, just in case she wanted to break away first.

Slowly, Alice pulled herself off her lips with half-opened eyes. Elspeth quickly looked at her as well, cheeks dark in the night’s light. They both shared this quiet acknowledgment, then welcomed Elspeth’s quick kiss to her cheek.

“For good measure.” She half-whispered as Alice let an embarrassed flush spread across her face. Alice didn’t want to let go. She wasn’t moving away either. They both stayed still in each other’s embrace.

Alice stayed quiet for a long moment. She and Elspeth shared a long, forlorn stare as they recognized they had not placed any implications for one another for this kiss. No one was holding the other to anything.

She finally managed a whisper, “I think I do have my answer.”

Elspeth managed a weak grimace and nodded. “Good. Well… I have a lot to accomplish still. I’ll probably sleep on the plane home. Work up a few syllabi.” Yet she still watched her, expectant. Waiting.

Alice wanted to say more. But it was so hard to say more as she thought of potential repercussions that could come out of this. Still, she wanted to say something to impress Elspeth regardless.

“May I come sit with you then?” She finally settled on. She felt awfully juvenile as she considered how she had done this at the start of old relationships, had made an offer just to continue being close to them for the day. She hadn’t done this in a long time. Elspeth turned her head to look at the housing building that was not too far from them. But the cold night always made it seem like a harsh, long walk away.

She shook her head. “I’d love to have you, Alice, but… if this is not to be taken with intention, then I feel it would only hurt rather than help.”

Alice reached for her hand. Elspeth let her grab it. She sighed and nodded. “Yeah. Got it. But I would like to make the argument that I want to spend some time with you before you leave. How would I get another chance apart from this?”

“Perhaps you are correct. But I only want to guard my own heart, yes?”

“I understand.” Alice finally settled on. She bowed her head slightly as Elspeth rolled her eyes.

“Oh, fine. C’mon, you sad little thing. But you may not spend the night!” Alice brightened and held onto her arm as Elspeth, once again, pulled her along. She’d be more than willing to abide by this if it meant they could have a little more time. Even if it was just to hear her delve into sporadic theories and to renounce philosophers she had little knowledge of. Even if she just wanted to get a better feel of how Elspeth felt about her on a deeper level.

✧

Elspeth led her to her little home away from home in silence. Neither of them made a move to bring up their earlier predicament despite it being wholly fresh on both of their minds. Alice could see clearly as they paced a long hallway that Elspeth was still quite red, even if she had tried to conceal it. She felt a faint exhilaration at the idea that she had caused that. Elspeth bowed her head as she worked a key into the door they stopped at.

She opened it and flipped on a light, which allowed Alice to see clearly that Elspeth had been given one of those rare rooms. It was sizable and long, with balcony-style windows across from where they stood. She marveled quietly at her very put-together room and stepped in while Elspeth made a quick beeline to her bed.

It was the only thing slightly out of place, disheveled with blankets, sheets, and an empty suitcase. Alice slowly reached down to pull off her shoes, with Elspeth returning to the door to also do the same. She sighed and mumbled something about forgetting while Alice’s eyes drifted to a desk that was tucked neatly into the corner. Alice pushed her shoes neatly against the wall and walked towards it to peer momentarily at what she had left.

A rather hefty pile of papers was in an organized pile, binder clips separating what she could guess were hundreds of papers. She looked back and chuckled slightly. “You’re grading a lot of papers, huh?”

Elspeth walked around her and glanced at the desk. She shrugged. “Yeah. Per the professor’s request. I get the remedial work.”

Alice suddenly recalled that she had been given entirely desirable work by him. Work that would encourage critical thinking, work that wasn’t light by any means. She supposed they might have been given her current work if not for their dissonant relationship.

“He gave you all of that?”

“Sure did. I’m almost done. Well, some of it is editing one of his literature reviews, another is revising some paradox proposals, and some others are just some notes on other projects to get done. I’m leaving it here, of course. I try not to take anything home that pertains to… all this.”

Alice touched the creamy pages quietly and nodded. She understood the implication that came with it. The weight that would keep her from enjoying much of her coveted free time. Especially for paltry respect from him.

“How about you?” She asked suddenly. Alice breathed in quickly and smiled.

“Just a few labs. With Peter.”

She smiled and raised her brow at her. Alice cleared her throat and looked away.

She felt oddly weird mentioning Peter now. After kissing Elspeth, she now had to remember that she would have to reconcile with how she also felt about Peter. Elspeth didn’t seem bothered, though. She continued to flutter around her room quickly and pull a few various items.

“Ah, I miss that. I think I’ve been out of labwork for a minute. But it’s great having more time for the students. It’s soothing.” But it would be hard to maneuver if she couldn’t secure a job in academia. She could, maybe, go into teaching Math and Logic on its own. After all, she was still a Magick student. She’d forever be a magician by rite. She’d studied this like it was gospel for so long. Alice could argue she was the same.

“Oh, go ahead and sit where you’d like! Don’t mind the mess on the bed.” She suddenly said. Alice slowly obliged by her words and took a seat on her bed, choosing to sit at the end of it.

She leaned back into her white comforter and watched as Elspeth turned and stacked clothes into the suitcase methodically. She felt rather at ease then, able to glimpse at what was so part of her life and what was so similar to her own.

She peered around at the books stacked on a wicker bookcase. She scanned the familiar classics and the hefty textbooks that had shelves devoted to them. A little empty vase sat at the top, lonesome and stacked upon a few more books she could only imagine were devoted to her dissertation. By all this was a framed photo, three similar faces all squished together and sat neatly under a tree.

Alice squinted at the little faces until she recognized the three as Elspeth and her siblings, all at a much younger age. Elspeth was indeed the middle child, seated with her head leant on her brother’s shoulder and her baby sister posed on her lap. Alice smiled at this and considered how Elspeth had to have been a wild child, unable to be controlled by her dance teachers and academic tutors alike.

She turned back to Elspeth, noting how she had really grown into her features. She wondered if they all resembled her mother or if they resembled her father. She supposed they were past that conversation for now.

So, instead, Alice settled on, “You think you’ll move back home when you’re graduated?”

“If.” Elspeth corrected, softly. Alice scowled.

“When.”

She stopped for a moment and stood up. She walked to the desk and picked up the papers. Her thumb ran down the stacks. “I don’t want to. But I guess I don’t want to be here either. It's all so ephemeral right now. I honestly have no clue what I want to do if this all doesn't go the way it should.”

Alice would be a liar if she said she didn’t think about that either. But the predicament Alice was in was quite different. She pushed the suitcase back as Elspeth turned, papers in hand. She moved over to the bed and sat as she looked down at the structured font. Alice forgot for a moment that she had been involved in a level of academic misconduct, though it wasn’t as though she was going to bring it to anyone’s attention. Even if she didn’t have a great reason behind it.

Alice sighed while Elspeth turned and threw the stacks into her suitcase. “Guess I need to get it together though, right?”

Alice smoothed her hand against the fluffy comforter. “I can always talk to him. He might change his mind.” There was nothing else she could offer. Nothing would actually help, nor would this make an impact. Elspeth still shot her a smile. “Maybe help me with the papers I don’t finish grading instead.”

“You’ll have to carve out some time with me then.” She suggested, half-hoping it would give them more time past this. A promise that would have to be fulfilled. Elspeth wasn’t one to forsake a promise, she assumed.

She waved her hand at her and flopped back against her pillows with a sigh. “You know, Law, you’re very insistent. Maybe. We can figure it out.” She pushed herself up to be propped up as she spoke. She looked over at a small clock on the nearby nightstand, then back to her. She yawned and pulled her legs up onto her bed.

Alice supposed they would have to continue this another time. Elspeth’s eyes were suddenly heavy, her look distant. She’d have to wake up in a few hours.

Alice started to stand and gave her a polite smile. “Well-”

“Wait.” She paused just as Elspeth spoke. Elspeth looked out the long, outstretched windows into the pitch-black night. She patted the side of her bed that was unoccupied. “I was kidding. If you need to stay, you can.” She offered sheepishly.

Alice sank back down against the bed and looked too at the windows. It was late. And it could be nothing much more than sleeping over at someone else’s house. It was like they had been deep in their studies and had forgotten that sleep was a thing, so it would only be natural for her to stay.

Elspeth was already retreating beneath her covers as well. She wouldn’t want to get up and re-lock her door. Plus, Alice was not ready to walk back just yet. She could walk back when Elspeth was up. As much as she should have refused, Alice didn’t want to. Her chest fluttered as they gazed at one another.

So, Alice stood and went quickly to the windows, drawing the curtains from their sides to conceal the outside from them. Winter intersession could wait a few more hours for them to rest together.