Archive of Our Own

Admittedly Jasper didn't make a great first impression on Brandon Masters, but neither did his co-star make one on him in return. Brandon had been hired as one of the leads of Kennebunk Maine, the latest gritty crime drama by the British sensation Felicity Zink. They had finished their individual auditions; now was the deciding chemistry test, and Jasper was certain he'd fuck this one up.

Brandon Masters was just very distractingly attractive. Especially up this close.

“I loved you in Offloaders,” Jasper told him while the shot was being set up and the producers were talking among themselves.

Brandon didn't even smile. “Thanks.”

Jasper bit the inside of his cheek. He was far from the only gay man who had loved Brandon in the independent mob drama, which had dazzled the festival circuit. His black hair had been shiny and his biceps huge in that film, but Jasper had genuinely been more impressed with his acting than his physique. Brandon was hot without a doubt, tall, muscular, and all smolder with his vibrant brown eyes. Jasper just also happened to like him as an actor. Brandon had range.

“And I loved your interview in Doggy.com.” Jasper smiled, trying to catch Brandon’s eye. “About your dog Peppy.”

Brandon looked up quickly, but not at Jasper, almost like he was rolling his eyes. “The website is called DoggyPals.com, not Doggy.com, which I haven't visited but would assume is something a bit more pornographic.”

Jasper felt embarrassment color his cheeks. “Yeah, I meant that Doggy Pals website, obviously.” Then, just because he figured he had dug a hole so deep nothing could make him sink further, he thought to add something. “Have you seen any of my work before, just out of curiosity?”

His career thus far had spanned everything from independent films to off-off Broadway plays as well as some well-regarded cult favorite web sketches he'd filmed with friends right after college. The sketches had had a devoted but small following, giving him a modicum of internet fame. He was a funny guy who had done his fair share of improv, but he also had range. He imagined Brandon might have seen his work in a sketch that had gone viral, or maybe one of his more serious roles in his friend's small budget film about a gay construction worker, which had become a critical darling among the festival circuit.

Brandon gave him a flat, cold look that Jasper wouldn't be able to level even at an enemy. “No,” he said, followed by what felt like a very intentional silence.

Jasper was nothing short of humiliated.

That was when Felicity told them the camera was rolling and it was time to show how he and Brandon interacted as county head coroner Johan Scott and Sheriff Will Chisholm, respectively.

Lucky for Jasper, he was a great actor and could pretend that the rude hunk who sat beside him was actually his best friend and colleague going back a decade and then some. Brandon Masters was also a really good actor, and for a small moment Jasper believed he might actually land the part.

“How does this all tie back to your brother?” he asked as Johan.

Brandon met his eye, and held his gaze steadily. His eyes spoke volumes. Will was tired, yet he trusted and cared for Johan so much. “I don’t know,” he ground out in a rumbling voice. “I wish I did, though.”

It was a really good scene, Jasper thought. And it probably wouldn’t be enough to land him the role.

Then Felicity called cut, and Brandon's face slipped back into a mask of indifference. Brandon had been cast, so his opinion would hold some weight, and right now he was the one person Jasper hadn't impressed at all in this room.

Soon it was time for a different scene, one where Johan accused Will of corruption. This was a pivotal moment at the end of the pilot episode, one that had to hook the viewer to keep watching and wonder whether Johan would expose his friend or find out the reasons behind his secret meddling with the biker gangs that rolled through Kennebunk.

Jasper gave it his all, channeling the annoyance he felt towards Brandon while Brandon remained cold, not giving away too much of what he was feeling as Will.

“Wow, that's marvelous,” Felicity said, but Jasper had tanked many an audition with praise heaped on his performance, so he knew not to pay too much attention to that. He held his head high and didn't say anything to Brandon, just thanked Felicity and the producers for the opportunity and left the audition.

After a long call with his good friend and a somber one with his agent, plus one huge margarita at his favorite Mexican place in West Hollywood, Jasper could say with full confidence that he was fine. He wasn't getting the part and he had made peace with it.

Two weeks later, however, he got the call. He was now Johan Scott, and shooting would start in two months.

“You're getting the scripts for the first five episodes delivered by the end of this week, and I've arranged a day at the county coroner office for you to observe their job firsthand to get a feel for the character.” Beth, his agent, was on a roll now that he'd actually bagged a proper role in a prestige television drama. “And Felicity wants to get on a call with you at fuck o'clock in the morning, because she's back in London. But the producer told me there's a big twist coming in the last episode they've scripted and they can't wait to share it with you.”

“I guess it could inform my character some more,” Jasper said, leaning back on his couch to process the news. He still couldn't quite believe it. “Am I the killer or something?”

“She said it was something to do with the chemistry between you and Brandon.” Beth rattled off a bunch of numbers related to the deal that Jasper didn't have time to fully conceptualize, but he took it that his pay was big enough that her cut of it could buy her kids a nice birthday party at somewhere fancier than a fast food restaurant. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his hair.

It had finally happened to him. Jasper Abernathy had made it into the big time.

Brandon didn't hate Jasper Abernathy, even though he wished Jasper wasn't, well, quite so Jasper. He was just so fucking jokey and easy-going, like they were filming an improv comedy show and not the latest dark drama for the full-frontal-fucking-and-murders cable network. Brandon knew full well that Jasper had done those independent gay movies and had some level of talent, but he didn't believe the hype and praise that Felicity lavished on Abernathy as soon as he'd left their final audition together.

“He's brilliant, the edge to your grit, Brandon.”

“He's the thorn in my side,” Brandon had joked back darkly, but she had no longer been listening to him.

Then, some weeks later, Brandon got on the stupid video call with her at 3 AM because that was the only time she had available in her London timezone schedule. She told them the twist to the story, clapping her hands together, then interlacing the fingers.

“Will and Johan are like this. They've always been together in a sense, glued together by their work and friendship. They've always done things for one another, made sacrifices for each other, kept each other’s loyalties. Now we're twisting the relationship a little. What if love and passion got between them, and mangled their previous understanding of each other?”

What the fucking fuck.

“Sorry, um, but—” Brandon started, while Jasper's jaw had dropped.

Felicity didn't register their shock. “Swetha, my co-writer, pitched this idea to me as we continued working on the individual episode scripts in the writer’s room, and it changed the dynamic so deliciously we just had to pursue that story path.” She was smiling brightly at them through the computer screen.

“Is this because I'm out?” Jasper asked bluntly. Brandon glared at him, since the remark seemed a little conceited. It wasn’t all about Jasper. And if it was, he hated the casting choice even more than before.

“No, although it helps with your performance. It wasn’t in the script initially, because I just thought it wouldn’t be such a big part of Johan’s arc.” She gave them a smile and lifted her shoulders in a small shrug. “Johan's sexuality was already there when we conceived the character. It's only Will who's joined the other team.”

“Now wait a second—” Brandon started, but then he noticed the sharp look that Jasper gave him through the screen before turning his head away. “This is—” he said, unable to find the words. He wasn’t opposed to it, not exactly, it was just. It was so unexpected. He'd thought he knew Will Chisholm as a character. Turned out maybe he'd only had some of the full picture.

“You must be thrilled, Masters, having always been such a huge ally.” Jasper turned to look at the screen again, raising an eyebrow in what sure felt like a dare for Brandon to challenge the creative. Which Brandon would not. Not when he was working with a living legend like Felicity Zink.

“Absolutely,” he gritted out with a smile. “Such a great opportunity to do something new. You've played gay before, of course, so this won't be a challenge for you.”

It was a jab, but Felicity didn't seem to notice and Jasper didn't have much opportunity to comment. “You've got impeccable chemistry already,” she noted and started talking about the demands of the shooting schedule, changing topics.

Brandon didn't like Jasper, and it had nothing to do with the fact Jasper was super gay and super out about that fact. It was because Jasper never seemed to take anything seriously, and that pissed Brandon off like nothing else. Brandon loved acting. He was maybe a little pretentious about it, but that all came from respect and admiration for the art of it.

Jasper didn't seem to care. When they finally got onto filming he joked around with costume and makeup people. Then he made jovial small talk with the assistants and the directors and finally the director of photography. Then, when it was time to shoot, Jasper did fine, great even, but he was out of character as soon as the cut was announced. Brandon took a while to get in and out of the role. Only once he took off Will Chisholm's worn leather jacket and flannel shirt did he feel like himself again.

The story of the show was all sorts of fucked up. Will found out about his dad being murdered by the gangs, but also about his mother and possibly his brother being a part of a drug ring. He was trying to chase down a serial killer who left cryptic clues inside the victims’ bodies. Amidst all this, he had to become corrupt to find out who really ratted out his dad when undercover, and now Felicity along with her co-conspirator Swetha had thrown a new spanner in the works: an asinine love story between Will and Johan, completely unexpected.

Brandon emphatically did not have a problem with any gay love story; he was an ally. He'd done an interview with Pink News, he'd done the OUT cover story—shirtless, which not a lot of straight guys did at the time—and he'd donated to charities and joined fundraising dinners and he'd posted all the relevant social media hashtags. He'd done the work.

He didn't need to play gay to prove it. Especially with a guy as annoying as Jasper Abernathy.

But whatever. A job was a job, and a prestige cable show could up his fee into the seven-digit stratosphere. His agent Paul always told him he was the best actor nobody had heard of, but that wasn't quite true. Brandon had done projects that showcased him as a talented actor but had been reasonably popular. His stint on the teen show The Life of Andrea as the bad boy heartthrob Danny was a little too well-remembered for Brandon's liking.

Jasper had mentioned one of his best works during their initial audition together, but even that had annoyed Brandon. He didn't need to be working alongside a fan, and he sure as fuck didn't think of himself as a fan of Jasper's work. He'd seen the gay dramas, all tastefully lit sex scenes with shirts off and flies open, and he'd hated them, not because they were gay, but because they were so pat and clichéd. Another gay film about a working class gay man finding love with a childhood friend? Revolutionary.

Jasper didn't really have range. He was either the funny gay guy or the serious gay guy, but he was always gay, and he would be gay on the show that Brandon had hoped would re-invent his own career.

Even Jasper's look was exactly as one might expect. He wasn't bad-looking by any means, but he was just your standard strawberry blond, slightly twinky, slightly lanky gay dude who cut his hair too short. It was longer now for the role of Johan Scott, which allowed his hair to curl around his temples and over his ears and made Jasper look softer and prettier than he had any right to look, in Brandon's opinion.

But Brandon was also a professional, so he kept his intense dislike to himself. He didn't laugh at Jasper's jokes, but he tolerated them. He didn't make his dislike of Jasper anyone else’s problem. He sat next to him in makeup every day and grunted a polite hello into his coffee. To make up for having to put up with Jasper, he was extra nice to Jasper's personal assistant Cindy. So nice, in fact, that she had to eventually let him know she had a long-distance boyfriend in the Philippines and she wasn't available to date anyone on the show, much less him.

“Leave her alone, Masters,” Jasper told him when Brandon once again graced Cindy with his most charming smile in the makeup trailer. “You're being so weird right now.”

“She's my best friend on the set,” Brandon said.

“Don't you already have a supermodel girlfriend?” Misty, the makeup lady, asked while powdering Brandon's face liberally.

“She left me to follow her career in Italy,” Brandon said, which was true, but nobody needed to know the real story beyond that. Emily wasn’t going to talk about it, and neither was he.

“Oh, don't seem so broken up about it,” Jasper joked, which made Misty laugh out loud.

Brandon seethed on the inside. “How about you? How many boyfriends have you got right now?” His tone was light, but Jasper didn't even look at him when he answered.

“I'm actually extremely monogamous and happen to be single,” he said in a voice that was smaller than his usual note. The mood shifted immediately. Poor, pitiful Jasper, everyone thought, and they rushed to console him.

“You'll find a guy in no time,” Cindy said brightly.

“You've got such a pretty face, and this show is a guaranteed hit, so guys will be throwing themselves at you from now on,” Misty added and powdered over Brandon's eye without any care for his eyesight.

Brandon felt like a bully, when all he'd done was make a stupid joke. “Sorry, Jas,” he said, and felt the need to add, “I'm sure you'll find a great guy somewhere.”

Jasper, the dickwad, threw his head back in a laugh. “Oh my god, you’re too serious, Masters.”

Once again Brandon was the butt of the joke, and he fucking hated it. Just like he hated Jasper Abernathy.

He had breath mints, a bottle of mineral water, and the script memorized front and back, and he hadn't had any garlic for dinner, breakfast, or lunch. Jasper was ready for their first, and mercifully only, kissing scene. He was a professional. He'd kissed friends and acquaintances on-screen and even done theater with an ex-boyfriend, and none of it had gone badly, because he was a consummate professional.

As for his co-star, he could only expect the worst. Brandon was not his friend, or a trusted colleague. He was just a cold, mean, blank slate of a man who only felt alive in his role as Will Chisholm. If Jasper could channel the affection that Johan had for his friend, infuse it with romantic longing and a dash of burning desire for the handsome face and body that, on some level, belonged to Brandon Masters, the most annoying human alive, then he could nail this scene.

He breathed in and then breathed out slowly. He got out of his trailer when they were ready for the shot. Brandon was there, too, and when their eyes met, his burned Jasper's like fire. Of course Brandon had to be in character already, like the idiot method actor he was, and so Jasper did something goofy and extremely un-Johan-like and stuck out his tongue from one corner of his mouth.

Brandon's smolder went down a notch, and what Jasper saw next was the blank, cold annoyance, all Brandon, and none of Will's fondness left. He didn't even feel sorry for potentially jeopardizing the scene. He grinned at Brandon, and got nothing but a cold stare back.

As expected, when they got close enough to talk, Brandon was not in a great mood. He ducked his head and ground out a line. “Let's get this in one, alright?”

Jasper glared at him. “Hope you haven't had garlic or sushi recently.”

Brandon frowned. “The kiss needs to be slow, emotional, soft and both of them hopelessly overwhelmed. Will doesn't know what he's doing, because he wants it so badly, but he also doesn't want to scare Johan. He's gentle to a fault. Johan doesn't trust him fully yet.”

“Don’t give me notes, I read the script. I know where my character's head is at.” Jasper popped a mint in his mouth and shook the tension from his shoulders. “Close your eyes and think of boobs or whatever.”

“Please never say boobs again,” Brandon muttered. “I know how to act, Jas.”

“Do you?” Jasper asked. “I know how to act because in five seconds I'm going to effortlessly pretend to be in love with you. You need five hours in the trailer to make yourself believe you're a macho cop in Maine who wears a different jacket.”

“Just shut up and kiss me,” Brandon ground out. He looked like he was going to say something else, too, but then the shooting started in earnest.

The dialogue before the kiss was exactly as Brandon said, understated and soft, full of unspoken emotion neither character could quite express yet. Johan didn't trust Will. Will didn't trust himself. But somehow his hands ended up around Johan's shoulders, and when he pulled Johan closer, the kiss was perfect, both hesitant and yearning at once. Brandon's mouth was gentle against Jasper's, and when his lips opened slightly, Brandon's tongue swept along his bottom lip and over his teeth. His head tilted just right, Brandon’s fingers cradling his ear and digging into his hair.

Jasper felt nothing while also feeling everything. It was a great kiss. It wasn't their kiss, it belonged to the camera, exactly as they wanted it to and as it needed to be.

“Amazing work, guys,” the episode director said. “I think we have it. Just like that.”

Brandon wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “A little too wet for me, but at least it's over.”

“That's what she said,” Jasper quipped, which made the key grip laugh out loud.

It annoyed him that Brandon Masters was a great kisser, but then, Brandon was great at a lot of things: acting, smiling, dog ownership, and charity. Being a nice person just wasn't a part of that list, and it never would be.

Brandon had a weird, wistful feeling at the wrap party. It was catered to the nines by the network and they even had an open bar, but he did his best not to indulge too much, sticking to beer tonight. He’d gotten a series of ads to work on over the summer, but Felicity had already received news that there would be another season, and the industry was abuzz with the first three episodes that had aired. The show already had awards hype around it. Felicity would pick up Best Drama, and maybe either he or Jasper would wind up with an acting category nod. He knew they would be back to filming in Maine eventually, and he had come to enjoy the place, the crew, and the character of Will Chisholm, who now felt like a second skin. He'd miss it, for sure.

“It's just so cool to see someone from my small hometown make it like this,” one of the script supervisors was drunkenly telling him, and Brandon nodded because he didn't know what else to say.

He'd loved this project, and whatever problems he had had with Jasper Abernathy, it didn't matter. He wanted another season of this show.

Then he glanced over his shoulder to see Jasper flirting with one of the local bartenders, his face pink with drunken enthusiasm, and Brandon saw red. Trust Jasper to get too drunk and tank their reputation with the locals like this. Someone had to step in and stop this before it went any further.

“Hey, Jas,” he said when he approached Jasper, who was leaning over the bar with his ass sticking out slightly, like he wanted people to stare at it. “Haven't you had enough to drink already? Leave this poor guy to serve someone else.”

“Hush, you,” Jasper said rudely. “I'm having fun. You can’t ruin this for me.” He looked at the bartender and gave him a wide, sexy grin.

Brandon's fingers gripped the edge of the bar. “There was something I really wanted to talk to you about. It's important.” He shot a meaningful look at the bartender. “And private.”

“Oh my God, fine.” Jasper stepped away from the bar. “Talk to me about your boring bullshit.”

“My trailer,” Brandon said under his breath, which was only met with a bratty roll of the eyes from Jasper.

“What the fuck is this even about?” he demanded once they got to the trailer.

“Awards season.” Brandon sighed, trying to think of what to say. The fact was, he didn’t actually have beef with Jasper right now, beyond him flirting up a storm with that bartender. Brandon didn’t even know why it bothered him so much. “I don't want my team to start a campaign for Best Leading Actor in a Drama if I'm up against you. I'll let you win.”

“Seriously, who cares? You don't even know if we will be nominated.” Jasper leaned against the kitchen sink of Brandon's trailer and leveled an annoyed look at Brandon. “You just sabotaged a guaranteed blowjob for me, I’ll have you know.”

“I'm sure you'll get another one someday,” Brandon bit back. Jasper was pretty enough for anyone, and any guy would be lucky to have his lips wrapped around their cock one day. Or to have his cock in their mouth, Jasper gasping and moaning beneath them, his face beautifully flushed by the proceedings.

Jasper snorted. His mouth widened into a shit-eating grin. “None of your business, is it? You don't like to think about guys and cocksucking, I suppose, beyond all the sanitized charity galas for the cause, because that's the only way you can handle the concept of a gay person.”

“Fuck you,” Brandon said. Jasper didn’t know a damn thing about him, didn’t know what storms raged in his head right now. Everything was so easy for Jasper, coming out, being out, being funny and liked. It annoyed Brandon beyond belief.

“No thanks,” Jasper said and Brandon surged up, pressing him hard against the kitchen cupboard door and slamming his own body against Jasper's, his mouth attacking Jasper's pretty, pink, wet lips that he'd obsessed over all fucking night long.

To his great surprise, the brutal kiss was met with equal force from Jasper, but soon instead of angry groans he was moaning as Brandon licked into his mouth. Brandon tightened his hold on Jasper's shirt, the fabric smooth around his fingers, and kept going, because Jasper had no fucking right to sound so hot while he was being kissed. Brandon wasn't letting him go. His thigh slipped between Jasper’s legs, holding him there, right there where Brandon needed him.

This wasn't a kiss for the camera, too raw and real. Jasper's body was pressed against his own, and Brandon let go of his shirt to wrap his fingers around Jasper's hips, grinding them together. He wasn't hard yet, but he he'd be there soon, especially when Jasper moved his hand over to Brandon's neck and caressed his nape far too gently for what they were doing with their mouths.

Brandon wanted so much he didn't know what he wanted. Jasper quiet and moaning was already great, Jasper's teeth nipping at his own lips was even better. He groaned and dipped his hand lower to cup Jasper's wonderful, tight ass with both hands, drawing them flush against each other. Jasper's pants tenting with a hard, unmistakable erection against his thigh felt like a victory.

But then everything unraveled. Jasper pushed him off, eyes hazy.

“What the fuck was that?” Jasper asked, and without allowing Brandon a moment to answer added, “Get the hell out, geez.”

Brandon felt his temper flare. “Get out? How about you get the hell out, this is my trailer.”

Jasper sniffed, straightening his back, which unfortunately made his arousal more prominent. “Fine. This never happened.”

“Yeah, no shit it never happened.” Too bad Brandon's cock wouldn't forget it happened so easily, but that would be a problem for future him.

Jasper hesitated at the door, probably feeling like he had to have the last word. His eyes swept over Brandon, which made it all the more tempting to close the distance between them and kiss him again.

“Just go already,” Brandon snapped, because he hated the possibility of Jasper staying and figuring him out. Not only his biggest secret but all the other stuff that came along with this, his history of wanting, his elaborate construction of lies. No, Jasper would never access all that.

“You really are a great actor,” Jasper said plainly.

Brandon was stung, because it definitely was not a compliment under this set of circumstances. “Fuck you,” was all he managed to croak out before Jasper left.

Instead of victory that he got the last parting shot, Brandon detected a sadness in Jasper's final expression, which he hated even more. He didn't want to be pitied. He'd made his choices and they were all ones that had gotten him to the success he was now enjoying. Jasper didn't have to feel sad for him.

The world was in love with Kennebunk Maine. The show was critically acclaimed, the ratings were high and remarkably steady throughout the first season, and the crew was hard at work on pre-production for the second season. Jasper got the first two episode scripts delivered via courier mail, then went to New York for costume fittings, and then he visited his family in Chicago. He didn't see Brandon Masters all summer long, and he was convinced it was better this way.

The kiss that hadn't happened haunted him. He thought about it every time he saw a glimpse of Brandon in the media, which was more often than he would have liked. He even found himself reading old interviews to find out if he'd previously missed something crucial about Brandon before. But there wasn't anything there but publicity fluff about being an ally, believing in human rights, yadda yadda. He soon gave up. It didn’t matter what Brandon was or wasn’t when it came to his sexuality.

One thing he knew for sure now: Brandon was an annoyingly good kisser.

When they met again for the first readthrough of the second season episodes, Jasper did his best to ignore Brandon, but it wasn’t easy when production naturally seated them next to one another. So instead he was his usual jovial self, only to be met with the typical cold demeanor from Brandon.

“How was the summer break for you?” Jasper started politely.

“Busy.” Brandon avoided looking at him.

“Heard you made bank on those insurance commercials.” Jasper kept his voice jovial and focused on the script in front of him.

“I listened to that podcast you did with those two Broadway guys,” Brandon said in a low voice, for only the two of them to hear, his mouth curving in a vicious grin. “You were so full of shit when you said your best friend on the set is me.”

“I happen to be a huge believer in second chances,” Jasper countered, which made Brandon laugh out loud.

The cast and crew around the table turned their attention on them. Jasper felt self-conscious. He really did want to be more professional this season—no more cutting remarks or goading Brandon just to get a reaction out of him. God knew where that could lead. His mind jumped to the kiss, Brandon's hands tangled in his shirt, grabbing a possessive hold on his ass. His cock twitched at the memory.

“Great chemistry in action,” Brandon said drily. “Let's get this show on the road, huh, folks?”

It was the perfect thing to say, as the focus shifted from their bickering to the scripts people had in front of them. Felicity started on her speech on how glad she was that everyone was back for a new season, talking about the general direction for the show and where the network saw everything headed.

“The show has been derided as too chaste compared to other shows on the network, so network executives have asked us to up the sex appeal,” Felicity said and made a face, like she didn’t completely agree with the directive. “We'll do that in service of the story and characters, with intimacy coordinators on set for the comfort of everyone. It will be done in a way that feels right, and if anyone has any objections, we can discuss them before filming and decide on what to do next.”

Jasper’s heart dropped to his knees. Strictly professional, he reminded himself and kept his expression decidedly blank. He could handle more kissing with Brandon if the cameras were there to capture it. He could even strip down in front of him, run his fingers down his chest, lick his neck if that’s what the script required. He had no problem with any of that. He’d done sex scenes before for independent films, and there wasn’t anything awkward about it. Just another day at the office for him.

What he had a problem with was the six foot tall asshole next to him, who tore off a slip from the margins of the shooting script and wrote a note on it. Like they were in third grade.

Meet me at my hotel after this is over. The Boulevard, room 465.

The hell Jasper would. Private meetings were forbidden so long as the memory of Brandon's stubble scraping his cheek or his thick thigh between Jasper’s knees was still as potent as it was right now. But Jasper was also curious to a fault. Maybe Brandon wanted to apologize, or turn over a new leaf. Maybe he regretted the kiss as much as Jasper regretted dwelling on it as often as he did.

So after the read was done, he lingered long enough to see Brandon leave, and then he got to his car and drove to Hotel Boulevard.

Brandon opened the hotel room door after a series of impatient knocks. He looked stunning in a pair of gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt that complemented his equally black hair and his toned arms. Instead of his usual sullen expression, Brandon graced him with a smile, a lazy one that accompanied his smooth, deep-voiced opening gambit: “Come on in, Jas.”

“I don't think I ever allowed you to call me by that nickname,” Jasper said.

“You don't like it?” Brandon asked, relaxed.

“Brandon, what is this?” Jasper asked as Brandon closed the door and leaned against it, his t-shirt riding up on his midriff. Jasper could not look away.

“This is me figuring out I prefer you when your mouth is attached to mine,” Brandon said before quickly closing the gap between them and kissing Jasper, as hard as last time, only now enhanced with slowly building, obvious desire.

Jasper was going to start resisting at any moment now. Brandon's tongue slipped artfully into his mouth, just as Brandon's hand found the hem of his shirt, gentle on his skin. Any moment now.

Or maybe sometime later, Jasper decided as he dug his hand into Brandon’s hair and let go of his last bit of sanity.

It really was so unfair. It wasn’t right that Jasper goddamn Abernathy had provided Brandon with such a weirdly intense kiss that the feeling of it lingered for weeks, months even. He'd hated it at first, and then, over time he'd come to accept it as a strange yet important experience. He'd kissed dudes before, for work and just to try it. None of them kissed like Jasper.

He figured if he did it again, he might get it out of his system and the whole thing would just be another distant memory of a bad hookup. Jasper was single, as far as he followed the gossip. Brandon had picked up the habit of following news about his co-star. He had even set up a search alert, like some stupid fanboy, to get the latest Jasper Abernathy news. But he had an altogether different purpose—know thy enemy and all that.

So he knew Jasper was single, and he knew the looks Jasper had given him last season if he wore a t-shirt just a bit too tight around the chest area. His brilliant plan only started to feel less brilliant when he crushed his mouth against Jasper's and felt himself sink into a state he'd rarely been before. He was suddenly nervous that Jasper would, mid-kiss, actually turn him down.

Jasper, thankfully, did not turn him down. Even when Brandon ran hands beneath his shirt, pulled it off him and continued kissing, Jasper didn't shove him away. Jasper’s hand pressed over his cock and ran over it in slow, frustrating strokes, making Brandon groan and push him further towards the bed. He’d had a plan in his head, but he wasn’t sure how to execute it right. Jasper made his brain feel funny, unfocused.

“You’re so eager.” Jasper’s voice was teasing. His hand still cupped Brandon’s desperately hard cock. “This your first time with a man?”

“Shut up and get on the bed, Jas.” Brandon nudged him to sit on the edge as he pulled his own shirt off, heaving a sigh before he stepped on the bed and planted himself between Jasper’s thighs.

“You don’t want me to shut up,” Jasper said and yanked Brandon into another kiss, their bodies lined together perfectly for Brandon’s cock to rub against Jasper’s hard-on.

Jasper pulled down his sweatpants and underwear, cupping his other hand to knead one side of Brandon’s ass, pushing them even closer. Jasper gasped softly as he got a hand on Brandon’s naked cock, his fingers feather-light over the length before settling a tight grip at the base, stroking.

Brandon lost his head. He wanted to slow down, memorize the feeling of all this more, but a deep need made his blood rush, his veins hot. He loved the way Jasper felt beneath him, pliant yet angled at all the right places, his clever hand stroking Brandon between them.

It was his first time with a guy, actually, but he didn’t want to think about that. The thoughts weren’t entirely new, the impulse wasn’t new. Following through with it, pushing through the initial hesitation and into the realm of touching, that was new. He couldn’t really say what possessed him to do it. Maybe that Jasper was so annoying, so clever, so quick. Brandon wanted to see a new side of him, one with flushed cheeks and lips ajar with a moan, a version of Jasper who was desperate for him.

But it turned out the longer Jasper touched him, the more he ground his hips against Jasper’s cock, still stuck in his pants, the more desperate for Jasper he became. He moaned into the kiss, licking his lips as he felt himself shift closer to the edge.

“You want my mouth on you?” Jasper asked in a low whisper, and just his tone of voice undid Brandon completely. Before he could answer, he felt the stubborn kick and unwinding at his core, the pressure forcing his eyes closed.

“Jesus, fuck.” He felt his cheeks flush as soon as he understood what happened, the mess he’d made all over Jasper’s hand and stomach.

“I’m guessing not, then?” Jasper asked him lightly, reaching for his shirt to clean his hand.

“You’re just really good at that,” Brandon muttered. “I don’t usually—”

“I know, it’s fine,” Jasper said, his voice carrying an unmistakable note of smugness in it. “Now how about you get your mouth on me instead, baby?”

Brandon did, but he hadn’t really done it ever. He fell to one side, allowing Jasper to strip down completely, and clean himself before getting on the bed again. Jasper’s cock was pretty, which felt weird to think and even weirder to say, so Brandon didn’t. It was slightly bigger than average, slightly shorter than his own, and perfectly smooth to the touch, the skin velvety as Brandon stroked it in his hand. He watched as Jasper melted into the touch, and felt Jasper’s hand sink into his hair.

His mouth felt funny, almost as if it was tingling in anticipation of tasting Jasper. Brandon moved down, kissing over Jasper’s chest and navel, before planting a soft kiss at the base of the cock he was still holding in his hand.

His heart was in his throat when he took the first lick, but it didn’t taste like anything, at least not until his tongue moved over the tip of Jasper’s cock. Brandon tasted precome, and he actually groaned. Warmth developed in his core again. He wanted more, sliding the pink, swollen head past his lips. Jasper gasped above him, his hand petting Brandon’s hair.

“Oh, fuck,” Jasper moaned when Brandon pushed his mouth further down on the cock, savoring the silken feel of it on his tongue and lips. But then he hit a wall, choking a little, his eyes briefly tearing up.

Okay, so apparently Brandon wasn’t eager enough a cocksucker to fit one down his throat just yet. “Easy, baby,” Jasper told him, and Brandon pulled back up, sucking on the head, and finding that Jasper really liked that. He groaned and his hips lifted slightly, eagerly trying to get more of Brandon’s mouth on him.

Brandon bobbed his mouth, tightly focused on the head, with his hand working the base in tandem. He wasn’t a pro at first try, and he knew the rhythm was off, but Jasper still moaned prettily as he kept going and the hand in his hair felt nice and heavy.

“You look so hot right now, you have no idea,” Jasper told him breathlessly.

Brandon resisted the temptation to tell him he was pretty sure anyone looked hotter with a cock in their mouth, but the compliment felt as lovely and warm as Jasper’s hand, tightening slightly around his locks of hair. Brandon hummed against the dick and dipped his hand to gently hold Jasper’s balls in his palm, the kind of thing he liked a lot himself, and figured Jasper might as well. The balls tightened against his touch, and he actually felt Jasper’s orgasm before he tasted it, a gentle shudder working through the body before Jasper crashed.

It was the best, even better than his own orgasm, overwhelming and energizing. Jasper’s desperate, wet moan just before the moment were permanently imprinted on his mind. Brandon couldn’t think of a single sexier thing. He wanted so badly to hear it again.

“Pretty good for a first time,” he noted out loud before he licked off the softening, twitching cock in his hand.

Jasper groaned. “Don’t grow an ego.”

“Too late,” Brandon said, grinning.

“Oh my god. Shut up.” Jasper pulled him up, mouth on his own again, and Brandon was so ready for round two.

Of all the ridiculous things to say after sleeping with one’s coworker in an astoundingly ill-advised hookup, Brandon grinned on the bed, hair looking perfectly sex-mussed as he said, “We should make this a thing.”

“No,” Jasper said, pulling his clothes on. “We definitely should not make this a thing.”

He was feeling odd about the whole ordeal, although not at all regretful. Brandon had been remarkably sweet in bed, inexperienced but so enthusiastic, and a whole lot less annoying than Jasper had anticipated. It had been good, terrific even. He didn’t know the details of Brandon’s sexuality, but even if he hadn’t hooked up with a guy before, he didn’t seem to have much shame about the prospect of it. Jasper’s dick responded to the thought of the offer immediately.

“No, seriously, think about it. We don’t have time to get laid with anyone else because we’re either always filming or have time off when nobody normal has time off. We don’t like each other, so it’s not going to get complicated like with someone we actually could develop feelings and fondness for.” Brandon looked confident in this dick-brained plan of his, smiling like he had all the answers. “Hooking up throughout the shoot would be the perfect way to cut the tension between us, keep things professional on the set. Then we just stop when filming wraps up and go our separate ways.”

“You really think you’ve figured it all out?”

“It’s the perfect plan, Jas.”

“Because it includes you getting your dick sucked.” Which Jasper had done, and greatly enjoyed. Brandon had an annoyingly great cock, thick enough to make Jasper’s jaw ache in a satisfying way. God, he really didn’t need to think about that again.

“That’s just a bonus.” Brandon looked down, then met his eyes coyly. “We could try other stuff, if you’d like.”

Jasper’s heart bounced in his chest. He would like to, that was the problem. The thought of Brandon’s gorgeous body, naked in his bed, was enough to give him ideas for days on what he’d like to do together. His dick twitched, but Jasper was no longer twenty-one and his dick wasn’t in charge of him.

“This is a terrible plan,” Jasper said, still hesitant.

“It’ll be fine. We’ll be like fuckbuddies.” Brandon grinned.

“I’m not interested in being buddies with you.”

“Without the buddies part, obviously.”

“Fine.” Jasper sighed. “We can go forward with your so-called perfect plan, but if anyone finds out about us—”

“They won’t,” Brandon cut in impatiently.

“But if they do, it’s over. I don’t want to jeopardize my career.” Jasper stood up and rolled his shoulders back. He honestly didn’t love sneaking around like they just had, even if it had its own illicit appeal to it. He had been out for so long that it really didn’t make sense to hide who he was dating. But then, he wasn’t going to be dating Brandon.

“You think your career is more jeopardized by you sleeping with me?” Brandon raised his eyebrows, then cleared his throat. “The public still knows me as straight. Which I am, obviously.”

“Aren’t you lucky.” Jasper turned towards the door. “Well, bye, fuck-nonbuddy.”

“Bye, sweetheart.” Brandon’s voice was drenched in sarcasm as Jasper pulled the door open.

“Don’t call me that,” Jasper said, hand still paused on the handle.

“I’ll call you whatever I want.”

“Only when your dick is in my mouth.”

Brandon snorted. “Now you got me thinking about that possibility. Jas, get back in here.”

This was such a bad idea. It would only take a step or two for Jasper to leave the hotel room, walk off this entire experience and think about it all with a clear head. Maybe with some distance he could re-assess the whole situation and have a more level-headed response to it. He shouldn’t be asked to make this decision when Brandon was still shirtless on the bed, sheets barely covering his lower half.

Jasper should leave. He knew this.

Instead, he let go of the door handle, allowing it to swing closed and crawled back into bed with the enemy. Brandon kissed him, mouth so hot against Jasper’s own, and wrapped his arms around him.

It was a bad idea, but it felt so good to stay.

An affair with Jasper had been a great plan, if Brandon thought so himself. He loved the secrecy of sneaking around, he loved the way Jasper gave a blowjob—just the perfect amount of wet heat—and he even noticed that their little thing had improved their communication on set.

Once, during an outdoor scene, he accidentally stepped on Jasper’s foot. “Sorry, Jas,” he mumbled.

Instead of being annoyed, Jasper simply reached down to clean the scuff off his shoe and shot Brandon a pleasant smile. “That’s all right.”

No jabs, no snipes, no bickering. Almost as if they actually got along, which they definitely didn’t, unless their clothes were off.

“Your decor is terrible,” Jasper sighed when he saw the apartment Brandon rented in Maine during filming.

“Fuck you,” Brandon said with not much weight behind the words. “Besides, this place came decorated. If it was my place, it’d have a lot of more dog toys around and a lot less beige.”

“Do you miss your dog while you’re out here filming?” Jasper asked, looking around the place but deciding to just walk over to Brandon.

Brandon inhaled quickly, the mood shifting as Jasper took one last step closer to him, arms snaking around his waist. Jasper fit against his body so comfortably it was almost hard to believe this was the same guy he didn’t like it at all. He warmed immediately, a slow flush working up his collar. God, he wanted to kiss Jasper.

“All the time,” he said. “I looked into bringing Peppy here, but he doesn’t like flying, so I didn’t want to make it worse for him. He’s happier with my parents.”

“Hmm,” Jasper said, agreeing as his head tilted back just a touch. It was an invitation that Brandon sure as fuck wouldn’t refuse.

The kiss was long and slow, Jasper grasping him tighter and moaning in surprise when Brandon picked him up and carried him to bed. He knew Jasper at times still needed convincing that this was a good idea; that they could do this and not have it affect their work. Brandon was happy to persuade him further, though, the heel of his hand pressing against Jasper’s hardness, then stripping Jasper leisurely enough to watch his arousal heighten with each item removed.

“I think I want you to fuck me,” Jasper said, hand wrapping around Brandon’s wrist to stop him from bringing Jasper off too quickly.

Brandon could feel the heat at the tops of his cheeks. “I’ve never—” He didn’t really need to finish the sentence. Jasper knew, and he now knew that Jasper wouldn’t make fun of him for it.

“I know,” Jasper said, a little breathless. “Only if you want to.”

“I want to,” Brandon assured him, biting into his lower lip. “Maybe next time?” His heart beat fast in his throat at the prospect. Jasper, beneath him and around him, moaning at each thrust, that fantastic ass of his moving as Brandon fucked into him. It was a mental image he could feast on for years. He definitely wanted it, he just needed to prepare for it.

“Absolutely.” Jasper settled back on the bed, and Brandon took his cock into his mouth, eager as ever.

He still wasn’t as good as Jasper was, but he knew now how to keep his mouth wet enough, his lips wrapped tight enough around his teeth not to have any accidents. He even knew how to bury Jasper’s pretty cock so deep that his nose hit the skin at the base. Brandon loved it, the heady mix of sensations in his mouth, Jasper’s hand in his hair, and the moans and movements as Jasper writhed against the touch.

He really, really loved it.

Both Dave, the director of the episode, and Felicity herself complimented Jasper on the scene they’d just shot.

“Got it in one, lads,” Dave said in his Mancunian accent while Felicity beamed from behind the camera.

“You are exuding the same warmth these two should have for one another,” she told Jasper as they were setting up the next scene. “You two always had the chemistry, but now you have more than the electricity—there’s a real sense of fondness there.”

“Thank you,” Jasper said as Brandon leaned closer to him.

“It’s called acting,” he said sardonically, which made Jasper elbow him further away.

“Get off me, you big oaf,” he said, but he couldn’t help smiling at the same time.

It was a miracle what fooling around with one’s closeted costar could do to one’s performance. Jasper still didn’t like Brandon Masters, but he definitely tolerated him a lot more these days. Felicity was wrong; there wasn’t warmth between them—that part was all acting—but the little moments they had where they could maintain polite conversation were no longer few and far between. Sometimes their bickering even felt like a prelude to the next hookup, making the heat unfurl in Jasper’s stomach.

He didn’t like Brandon, but he did enjoy Brandon a ton in bed, all flustered and moaning with his mouth wrapped around Jasper’s cock, or grabbing hold of Jasper’s ass as he ground their cocks together, frotting until completion. He liked how Brandon hadn’t done certain things but was so eager to learn, how he blushed at Jasper’s dirty talk, and the way his abs flexed right before he came.

He liked the moments after hooking up, too, when they could talk about filming or their lives or whatever else. Once they just argued half-heartedly over what the best brand of soda was, and Jasper almost forgot to leave, so tired by the sex and so relaxed by the gentle bickering that he forgot completely where he was.

He rushed out of the apartment. Falling asleep in Brandon’s arms was definitely not a part of their thing.

“You live in West Hollywood, right?” Brandon asked him at the catering table, where Jasper was picking through the taco toppings. They had an all-night shoot coming up and he needed some energy for it.

“Yeah, since last summer,” Jasper replied offhandedly without looking up and studying Brandon’s expression. “Why?”

“Just thinking,” Brandon said, his eyebrows lifting innocently.

“Thinking about what?” Jasper’s voice gained an edge. He couldn’t help it. His pulse picked up. Something about Brandon’s question was strange. It didn’t matter where Jasper lived, because they didn’t see each other outside of filming and press stuff. They weren’t friends.

“I need a dogsitter, and you probably don’t have any other projects happening,” Brandon said, gaze dropping back to the food.

Jasper snorted. “I’d love to, but you can’t afford my rate.”

“Peppy wouldn’t like you anyway.”

“I’d have him eating out of my hand in no time. Just like his owner.”

Brandon laughed, but his expression soon flattened. “Screw you, Jas.”

“Go right ahead,” Jasper said, lowering his voice, and watched the comprehension wash over Brandon’s features. So quickly they were back to flirting, and he could only blame himself.

But it was such a good feeling, to watch Brandon struggling whether to get annoyed or aroused or both at once. Jasper even licked his lips idly, and saw Brandon’s eyes move instantly to his mouth. Jasper felt a rush of power and a guilty lurch in his stomach. He knew he wasn’t playing fair, but their thing had never had any rules spelled out.

He went back to his trailer to eat his tacos, only to hear a knock on the door two minutes later.

“Fuck, Jas,” Brandon managed before pulling Jasper towards him and crushing their mouths together. He tasted every bit as desperate as Jasper felt, his hands sliding over Brandon’s muscled shoulders to push his jacket off, sinking deeper and deeper into the kiss.

They weren’t buddies, and he didn’t need to play fair.

“You seem happier lately,” Beth told him over the phone while catching up.

Brandon had an easy reply for that. “I’m filming a great show, my career is on the way up, why wouldn’t I be happy?”

Beth snorted. “You’ve had success before and still acted sour through it all. Now you’re actually relaxed and just enjoying the work. What’s up?”

Brandon wasn’t about to tell his agent that he was getting laid on the regular. It couldn’t be that simple. Sure, he enjoyed the sex, but more than that he found himself lingering on the moments before and after their hookups. The little smile Jasper’s mouth curved into before he went in for the kiss, or the way his eyes sparked when Brandon teased him in bed afterwards. It was pure, physical gratification, sure, but there were layers to it that made him more content than any other casual hookup.

He often thought about the way they could tell a story with just their looks. He knew Jasper well enough by now that sometimes all he needed was to glance at him across the set and they both knew what would happen next. Once they had a moment to themselves, they met in Brandon’s trailer and just stared at each other while saying nothing, both knowing where this would go.

“You’re so—” Jasper started, then shut his mouth.

“I’m so what?” Brandon asked, grinning.

Jasper took a couple of steps forward, closing the gap between them. Tension stayed taut as his his eyes locked with Brandon’s, that little smile forming again. “Hot,” he finished and kissed Brandon, all intense need. His hand tilted Brandon’s head and the kiss deepened, and for a moment Brandon allowed himself to get lost in it. The way Jasper’s face felt in his hands, the sandpaper of freshly shaven skin, and the softness of his hair at the temples. Brandon was obsessed with all the little details that made up the simple act of kissing him. He doubted he could ever get enough.

Jasper’s hands made quick work of Brandon’s fly and slotted them against one another, tight together in Jasper’s grasp. Brandon gasped at the feel of it. Jasper’s cock was hard, but the skin cool against Brandon’s cock, which was already wet at the tip.

“Fuck,” Jasper said, pulling back momentarily for the kiss to glance down at his hand, stroking them both at the same time.

“You kept giving me looks,” Brandon said. “Got me so fucking hard, thinking about it.”

“Thinking about what?” Jasper’s head dropped on Brandon’s shoulder, his focus on the movement of his hand, quickening as Brandon’s hips thrust into the hold.

“You,” Brandon said, because that’s what it was. It wasn’t just Jasper’s teasing looks or the way he licked over his lips. It wasn’t his body and the way it felt in Brandon’s arms. It wasn’t his quick wit or his jokes or the way his hair looked after Brandon’s hand had messed it up. It was the whole Jasper, everything at once.

“Oh my fucking God.” Jasper probably didn’t even hear his stupid, sexdrunk confession, because he came first, spilling and slumping against Brandon, his hand working them both.

Brandon gritted his teeth and rolled his hips into Jasper’s hand, and came with a quick shudder. As he recovered and Jasper gently cleaned them both, he didn’t want to think about what he’d said. Because he hadn’t said anything, not really, and if he had said something, it didn’t mean anything. Just sex talk, wasn’t it?

Jasper kissed him lazily afterwards before slipping out of his trailer with a smile, dark pupils studying Brandon carefully. But Jasper couldn’t see what Brandon didn’t even understand himself.

They were just hooking up, same as ever.

“What's your family like?” Brandon asked while pulling his jeans back on.

Jasper snorted. “Are we bonding now?”

“I wasn’t aware curiosity was a crime, Jas.”

Jasper watched Brandon’s eyes twinkle with amusement, his mouth curving to a grin that was more teasing than angry. He decided to drop the attitude. “My parents are two theater kids who went into accounting and teaching, so when they found out I wanted to act in middle school, they were thrilled. They've been insanely supportive every step of the way. Even when I came out. Some might say especially after I came out.”

“That’s incredible,” Brandon said.

“I’m very lucky.” Jasper opened his mouth to ask about Brandon’s family in return, then bit back down on his words.

“My family is a bit more complicated,” Brandon said.

“Oh.” Jasper never knew what to say in these situations. The words hid so much potential pain that he didn’t know if Brandon was willing to share with him. They weren’t even friends, right? “I’m sorry.”

“Thanks,” Brandon said. “If it was easier, maybe I’d—” But then he leaned back down to put on his shoes and when he stood back up, he cleared his throat. “Whatever, you don’t care about that. I gotta go. See you for the next shoot.”

“See you,” Jasper said, nodding.

He shouldn’t care about Brandon’s family or what it meant for his coming out. They weren’t buddies, and although they were no longer enemies, that didn’t make them easy confidantes for each other’s worries.

Jasper shouldn’t care, so he said nothing, even though his heart felt like it was being squeezed.

The last scene on the shooting schedule was the love scene. It was a whole ordeal of negotiations, discussions with the intimacy coordinator, his manager going back and forth with the director over what could be shot (his ass) and what couldn’t be (his cock), and the same kinds of discussions with Jasper’s representatives. By the time they got to shooting, Brandon was kind of over it. He just wanted to get it over and done with and didn’t want any more therapeutic talks with the coordinator or anyone else over a plain conference room table. He wanted to just act, immerse himself in the character of Will Chisholm, because he wasn’t sure if the show would stay on the air for a third season. Felicity was known for having short runs on all her shows. She preferred shows to end while they were at the height of their popularity rather than fade into some disappointing valley of public opinion.

Jasper sat in his chair, a huge white robe wrapped around himself. He took a swig of water and swirled it in his mouth, swallowing. Brandon watched his Adam's apple bob up and down as he did. Jasper then caught Brandon staring at him. “How are you feeling about this?”

Brandon shrugged. “I was happy to film it, but now I’m sick of all this auxiliary shit. Just want to get to filming it, you know?”

Jasper nodded. “I hope it won’t be weird, what with our—” He shut his mouth quickly. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Brandon’s jaw tightened. He hadn’t really thought of the two in conjunction with one another: the lovemaking they would do on-screen and the kind they were doing on the sly. When they kissed as Will and Johan, it wasn’t really them and it wasn’t really about them. But he now wondered if the intimacy that their secret relationship fostered showed up on screen. Or if their relationship as Johan and Will was what made their hookups feel more intimate.

“It’s fine, it’s just—” Brandon tried to find the words for the mess in his head. “I think this scene isn’t about us, you know? We have to do right by the characters and their story.”

Jasper smiled from one corner of his mouth. “That’s so pretentious,” he said. “And so true.”

The scene was amped up with all kinds of tender, fragile emotions. It followed Will telling Johan one of his biggest secrets, laying some of his mistakes out on the table, and starting anew with more honesty than he was strictly speaking comfortable with. But Johan had pushed him enough to get there; without this moment, they couldn’t go forward as a couple or even as friends. It started with a heavy makeout, transitioned to Will stripping Johan down and fucking him with all the intensity of the conversation before. If they nailed it, it could turn out quite beautifully. A perfect encapsulation of the relationship that held the show together.

If they fucked it up—well, Brandon really didn’t want to think about that possibility.

Thankfully, he was filming this with Jasper. No matter how awkward it got, Jasper made it okay with a joke, or simply by looking Brandon in the eye, centering him back into the scene. It wasn’t at all like actually having sex, because they had to have a million breaks between shots, a dozen retakes of the simplest action like Brandon lifting Jasper in his arms. The shoot was grueling, tiring emotionally and a little bit physically. The coordinator helped giving them breaks and enough breathing room, but that didn't make the whole thing much less exhausting.

But Jasper was there with him, every step of the way, and that made it all right. Brandon almost forgot himself, unconscious of where they were, and leaned in close enough to kiss Jasper between takes. He drew back just in time. He could save that gratitude for later.

The same intimacy they’d just acted, he wanted to experience so badly as themselves.

“You want to hang out later?” he asked Jasper, an innocent enough suggestion to make in front of other people.

Jasper groaned. “I would, but I’m exhausted.”

Brandon felt similarly, but he’d thought they could just hang out together. Maybe fall asleep in the same bed. That might be nice. “My bed has room for two,” he said, voice low enough so only Jasper could hear.

Jasper smiled, ducking his head. “No, but thank you.” He met Brandon’s eye, his brow lifting slightly, suggestively. “Tomorrow, though, we could—”

Brandon knew immediately what he meant, and desire flared in his stomach. Jasper had hardened at one point during filming, and Brandon had felt a frisson in the back of his head, thinking briefly about what it would be like to actually fuck Jasper. God, he wanted it, but in that moment he'd had to focus on the scene, on looking at Jasper like he was Johan and Brandon was Will. The fiction had been layered between them, shielding them. What Brandon wanted now was the real thing.

“Okay,” he said, nodding. “I—Looking forward to it, then.”

Jasper’s look back at him was quick, private, full of promise. Tomorrow, he thought. Finally, tomorrow.

It had been a while since Jasper got nerves before having sex. He tried to calm himself and ease the tension with a few jokey comments, which drew a grin out of Brandon as they kissed and undressed in Jasper’s hotel room. Jasper had experience on his side; Brandon didn't, but his demeanor didn't betray any nervousness.

At least until he had Jasper beneath him, pressed into the mattress. Brandon looked down at him. “Do you need, uhh—prep, or whatever they call it?”

Jasper smiled and ran his arms up Brandon’s biceps reassuringly. “I don’t. I did it myself in the shower before you arrived, so—” He then reached down to the space between them and took Brandon’s cock in hand, feeling it pulse against his fingers. Brandon’s eyes closed and his breaths came stuttery. Jasper enjoyed the sight of it, loving the way he could so quickly drive Brandon wild with just a touch. “Go ahead, then,” he said softly, pushing Brandon up a little so he could turn around on the bed.

“Could you stay on your back?” Brandon asked. “I want to see your face when I—”

“Oh.” Jasper bit into his lip and stayed on his back, drawing his knees up. “Sure.” His eyes dropped away from Brandon’s, which now seemed to burn not only with desire, but also a startling intimacy.

Brandon slipped on the condom, and Jasper slicked down the full length of his delicious cock with lube, enjoying the thickness against his hand. Brandon gasped at the hold, especially when Jasper positioned his cock, nudged against his own hole.

“Jesus,” Brandon let out. “Sorry it’s just a lot.”

“You don’t have to—” Jasper started.

“I want to, so much you have no idea.” Brandon leaned down to kiss him, groaning as he sank past Jasper’s brim with the first thrust.

Jasper said nothing, too focused on the pressure that enveloped him. The intensity made his toes curl and his mouth fall open against Brandon’s.

He had a pretty good idea of how much Brandon wanted it, because he wanted it, too.

Brandon couldn’t believe how good it felt. Jasper was tight and hot around his cock, moaning loudly at each pistoning thrust, and Brandon was losing himself in it. He knew it was probably the wrong move to keep kissing Jasper, to make it feel more intimate and romantic than this probably should, but he couldn’t help himself. He loved Jasper like this, flushed and pretty and still somehow in control of himself, urging Brandon on.

“God, I love your cock,” Jasper whispered into the air between them.

Brandon smiled. “Thanks, Jas.”

“Harder, baby, harder,” Jasper said between moans, and Brandon obeyed, lifting himself just enough to get better leverage to pound into Jasper.

It was so overwhelming he almost wanted to close his eyes and focus on the tight, perfect feeling of Jasper around him and beneath him, but he also wanted to savor the sight of him. Jasper’s chest was flushed a lovely pink, and his lips were slightly open and wet from Brandon kissing him. It was the kind of image he wouldn’t so easily forget and the kind of moment he knew he'd want so many more of.

“Fuck, Jas,” he groaned, dropping onto his elbows, head buried against Jasper’s neck.

“Please, please,” Jasper said, but Brandon had no idea what he was begging for, except for more, which Brandon would gladly give.

He felt the tightening in his core and the telltale kick just before the release, muffling the sound against Jasper’s skin as he came. He felt empty and complete and content. Yet he still burned with a strange want for more.

After pulling out, still dazed as he discarded the condom into the trash, he knew it couldn’t be over just yet. He kissed down Jasper’s body and took his flushed, still hard cock into his mouth. Jasper moaned, hand petting Brandon’s hair as he sucked down as much of Jasper as he could, cupping his balls gently exactly the way he knew Jasper liked it. It didn’t take long for him to get Jasper off, tasting him on his tongue.

He was triumphant and exhausted. He grinned up at Jasper, who was busy catching his breath and brushing Brandon’s hair off his forehead. “Not bad for a first time, huh?”

“Oh my God,” Jasper groaned, but then laughed. “Shut up and kiss me.”

Brandon was happy to.

Jasper was distracted at the wrap party. They’d shot their last scenes yesterday, and the party was even bigger than last year. The mood was jovial and relaxed. Everyone had worked hard, and after the post-production had wrapped, they’d all be seeing the results. He had some press appearances lined up—some with Brandon, a couple of them alone—and then he had a movie to shoot in London. Dave had talked to someone, who had talked to someone else, and now one of the most lauded working directors of the day wanted Jasper in his movie. It all felt so surreal.

His eyes kept seeking out Brandon amidst the crowd, and he hated it. The last thing he needed was to feel wistful about their brief on-set affair ending. Because it was definitely, categorically, undeniably ending.

He opened his phone and thumbed through the messages from friends back home in LA and some in New York, all congratulating him on the new movie role. He replied to a few of them with emojis, then felt someone standing next to him. He looked up before he heard the deep voice say:

“So, what day are you getting back from London?” Brandon’s smile was lazy and a little tipsy maybe, but still so captivating it made Jasper’s stomach flip.

Jasper bit down. “What’s it to you?”

“I told you, I need a dogsitter.”

“Brandon,” Jasper said slowly. “We’re not seeing each other again. Unless the show gets picked up.”

Brandon made a face. “What’s with the attitude? I’m just making conversation.”

“So you don’t want to hang out if we both happen to be in LA?”

“Sure, we can hang out.” Brandon shrugged, but his eyes lit up like he was excited by the idea.

Jasper was infuriated. “No, we can’t. Because we’re not friends. Fuckbuddies without the buddies part, remember?”

Brandon clicked his tongue. “Okay, new deal then. We can become friends.”

“No,” Jasper said.

“Why not?”

“Because—” Because if he allowed that, then he’d never be rid of the niggling feeling in his gut whenever he kissed Brandon. He wouldn’t allow that feeling to bloom and grow, get to his heart, consume him until he was all feeling, and all for a guy who wasn’t even out. “Because I don’t like you,” he said, which wasn’t the truth, and God he wished it was.

“Oh, come on,” Brandon said, drawing closer. “I’m not that bad.”

“In bed you’re not. But that ends tonight.” Jasper took a step back, but he was slightly cornered in by the wall behind him.

“It doesn’t have to end tonight,” Brandon said softly, and Jasper didn’t resist when his hand wrapped around Jasper’s waist, pulling him just a touch closer. “If we don’t want it to.”

“We’re in public,” Jasper reminded him. But Brandon seemed to have forgotten himself, his head dipping slightly and his eyes focused on Jasper’s mouth.

“I’m not going to kiss you here,” Brandon said.

“Of course not. You have more to lose than me if people find out, right?” Jasper didn’t like how bitter he sounded. He wasn’t invested in Brandon coming out of the closet, that made no difference to him. Of course, if Brandon was out, he might consider—but he hadn't dated anyone in the closet in a small forever. He wasn’t about to consider it now.

“God, I’d love to kiss you, though,” Brandon murmured, and Jasper softened even as Brandon’s hand fell away from his hip. There was air between them again, a comfortable amount of space. Yet Jasper felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Maybe one more time wouldn’t be so bad,” he found himself saying. “And then it’s over.” He swallowed. “I mean it.”

Brandon smiled triumphantly as Jasper put his drink down, and tilted his head towards the door, signaling that they should go.

The last time at Brandon’s rental apartment felt weird. It was unhurried and measured, like they had all the time in the world, even though they didn't. Brandon kissed him and pushed up his legs so that he could see Jasper when he pushed in, his cock filling Jasper in the most satisfying way. Jasper moaned and pulled him closer, kissing him even as Brandon began to drill his hips down, fucking into Jasper as hard as he liked it, as hard as Brandon had learned he liked it.

It wasn’t break-up sex, because they weren’t breaking up in any real sense of the word, but it felt wistful all the same. Jasper didn’t love the idea that every touch, every kiss, every intimate sound could be the last time he experienced it with Brandon. He didn’t like that his brain started to cling onto the hope that maybe they’d hook up again, next season, or during those abominable press junket tours, or maybe at the Emmys after-party or some industry event they both happened to be attending. It was possible.

Afterwards Brandon cleaned up gently, grinning as he flopped down on the bed next to Jasper again. “Fuck, that was hot.”

“I should go,” Jasper mumbled, but the way Brandon wrapped his arms around him and held him tight made leaving quickly impossible.

“Just five minutes of cuddling?” Brandon asked, and Jasper relented because it was warm and comfortable and couldn't hurt.

He was sleepy. Five minutes turned to ten. He felt the heat from Brandon’s chest radiate against his shoulder blades. He found it impossible to leave that sweet warmth and gradually drifted off to sleep.

When he woke up the next morning, the panic in his chest sprang him up and out of bed in record time. But Brandon was also up and cooking breakfast. Jasper knew he shouldn’t stay for breakfast. That wasn’t the deal they’d agreed to.

But resisting a shirtless Brandon Masters was one thing, and resisting a shirtless Brandon Masters who had made coffee from freshly ground dark roast beans, the scent lingering in the air, and who knew how to make breakfast chilaquiles—that was another thing entirely. He was only a man. He sat down at the kitchen island, said nothing, and drank his coffee.

This would be the last time. Definitely, categorically, undeniably.

Brandon didn’t mean to be in touch with Jasper during their long break from filming. It wasn’t as big of a deal as Jasper made it out to be, because by now their thing had definitely evolved into a not-buddies-but-also-not-not-buddies with benefits thing. Brandon sent Jasper a few pictures of his dog during the week or two he had with absolutely nothing to do, and while Jasper didn’t reply back immediately, he did reply. It was weirdly comforting to Brandon to keep the connection going, even though they weren’t actually hooking up anymore.

On the other hand, he wondered why they couldn’t hook up anymore and why Jasper had drawn such a strong line under their thing during filming and whatever they had outside of it. They weren’t the level of celebrity that would get hounded by the paparazzi at every turn, and he knew for a fact Jasper wasn’t dating anyone else. He himself had gotten some interest from a few people, and one of his exes had reached out as well. He hadn’t done anything, though, rebuffing the offers as nicely as possible.

It wasn’t like he was trying to stay celibate; he just really didn’t have an active desire to date anyone. The thing with Jasper had been so comfortable and easy. He wished he could have that, but all the time, and maybe more of it.

When his manager told him he’d been booked with Jasper to do an interview with a popular podcast about prestige TV, he used it as an excuse to call Jasper.

“What do you want?” Jasper was full of attitude, which made Brandon grin into the phone. His stomach did a little flip as he heard Jasper’s voice again.

“I wanted to talk to you, Jas, that’s why the phone was invented.”

Jasper sighed. “Okay, I’ll holster the sass. What is it, though?”

“We have that podcast recording on Wednesday—”

“Yes, we do. Do we need to compare notes or something?” Jasper sounded like he couldn’t wait to get off the phone.

“I don’t know, do we?” Brandon was desperate to keep the conversation going. “They might ask about us.”

“I’m not going to let it slip that I’ve sucked your cock, so you don’t need to worry about that.”

“You let it slip just now, so I wouldn’t be so sure, Jas.”

Jasper snorted a laugh. “Relax, I’ve listened to the podcast before. It’s hosted by two women who already like the show. It’ll be softball questions all around, a little teasing of the new season, and then it’s a wrap.”

“It’s going to be fun seeing you again,” Brandon said, before his brain caught up to his mouth.

“Ha, that’s funny.” Jasper’s voice had lost its edge, picking up a gentle sing-songy note. “Next you’re going to tell me you miss me.”

“I kind of do, now that you mention it.” Brandon bit into his lower lip. What was this? Was he trying to be vulnerable, or swim back into Jasper’s good graces long enough to get into his pants? But he didn’t need to be liked by Jasper to get laid, their history had shown that. Yet the words had come out of him, and he’d meant them, and now he couldn’t take them back.

“Maybe you’re just horny,” Jasper said lightly. “You’ll get over it.”

“I’m not the one who brought up sucking dick,” Brandon pointed out.

“Then I’ll be the one to get over it.” Jasper paused. “It’ll be nice seeing you again, too, I suppose. If I must.”

Brandon’s stomach did an annoying little flip. “What is this, us being all cordial with one another? Who would have thought, huh.”

“Well, you know I’m a pretty good actor,” Jasper quipped. “Are we done here? I have some silver to polish.”

“Let’s do lunch before the recording,” Brandon said. He’d had this idea for a while, but now felt like the right time to ask. He just wanted to see Jasper face to face again, to sort out what everything meant. He needed more of Jasper to get a handle on any semblance of certainty in his head. But saying all that would have been too heavy and vulnerable for what they were, so he kept his tone light.

“No, I’m busy,” Jasper said, though he sounded unsure of that statement.

“Then let’s do dinner afterwards,” Brandon said.

“I don’t eat after 6 o’clock.”

“Drinks, then.”

“Oh my days. Fine.” Jasper still sounded hesitant. “I—just drinks. Somewhere secluded and private.”

“I’ll find a nice place,” Brandon agreed, and almost added, it’s a date.

But it wasn’t going to be a date. It was just him, trying to figure this out; what it was now and what it could possibly be, if he just—

It wasn’t a date.

Jasper walked out of the podcasting recording, his stomach in knots. The recording had gone well, they’d bickered about the characters and Brandon had said some PR fluff about how much he liked working on the show. That part was all fine, all stuff Jasper could handle. But Brandon was looking at him more than usual and acting oddly. They took two cars to the bar he’d suggested, and when Jasper got there, Brandon greeted him warmly at the door and lightly touched Jasper’s elbow to guide him in.

By the time they were seated in the secluded corner of the fancy cocktail bar, Jasper turned the stem of his martini glass slowly between his fingers. He had to do something about the direction this was all going, halt it in its tracks. Brandon wouldn’t, and he now understood it. He looked up at Brandon. “You have to stop this.”

Brandon’s eyes widened. “Stop what, exactly?”

“This,” Jasper said, and made a gesture in the air between them. “I know you like getting your cock sucked. But it can’t go as far as trying to date me.”

Brandon sat back, and made a face, but he didn’t meet Jasper’s eye. “I’m not trying to date you.”

“This kind of feels like you are,” Jasper said. He clicked his tongue, and forced out the precise words he really didn’t want to say. Brandon was making him say them out loud, put them out there so that whatever he wanted next couldn't happen. He really didn’t want to say it, and his rapidly beating heart, his palms beginning to sweat, all told him he didn’t want to say it. But his other option was going along and getting deeper, and then saying it would become a lot more difficult. He swallowed and took a deep breath in. “I don’t date guys who are in the closet.”

Brandon opened his mouth, unable to say anything, before slowly finding his words. “You’re telling me this in public?”

Jasper nodded. “Yeah, because I’m out, precisely so I don’t have to hide.” He shrugged. “It’s still in private, nobody’s going to find out your secret.”

Brandon cleared his throat. “I’m not worried about that, I’m more worried that you’ve got this all wrong, because I’m not—” He trailed off suddenly, eyes cast down.

“You’re not—?”

“I’m not trying to date you,” Brandon managed finally. “I’m just—you’re great, and I like being with you—”

Jasper’s heart stuttered in his chest, but his jaw tightened, fighting the emotion. “Wow, how romantic,” he said flatly.

“Shut up,” Brandon said.

“What happened to the guy in the podcast studio, ‘love will carry them through’ or whatever?” Jasper asked, trying to make a joke, but it didn’t land.

Brandon looked at him, eyes dark and deep and far too full of emotion. “That guy was fake, and this is real.”

Jesus. Jasper’s stomach dropped and he felt short of breath, a stone landing on his chest. He took a sip of his martini, letting it burn coolly down his throat. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to be an asshole.”

“I didn’t mean to be one, either,” Brandon said, “I meant it. I wasn’t trying to date you, but now that I'm thinking about it, it's like. Maybe we—maybe we should try it?”

What a terrible idea. Jasper wanted it so badly he felt his eyes well up with the emotion. “You want to—?”

Brandon smiled at last, looking at Jasper from under his brow. “I meant we should definitely try it. If you want to. Because I really, truly want to.”

“What if the show gets a third season?” Jasper asked, like he was looking for excuses. Which maybe he was, some sign from the universe for them to turn back and undo this, even when it felt right.

“It will, but it also doesn’t matter.” Brandon grinned. “I’ll show up the first day and tell everyone this is my boyfriend Jasper, and we’re not making it weird for anyone.”

It forced a laugh out of Jasper. “Oh my god, I’m your boyfriend now? That’s a little fast. What about your family?”

Brandon made a face. “I’ve been thinking, and I think it’s time for me to be honest with them. How that'll change my relationship with them, I really don’t know yet. But this feels more important to me.

Jasper nodded. “Well, I guess if the offer of ‘boyfriend’ is on the table—” His tone was light, but he felt heat on his cheeks.

Brandon reached for the hand that wasn’t holding onto the martini glass for dear life. “It’s definitely on the table.”

Jasper snorted. “You’re so—”

“I’m so what?” Brandon leaned in. “Listen, I mean it. You’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met, and I’m so fucking new at this, but if you don’t date guys who aren’t out, maybe I need to cross that bridge for you.”

“Really?” Jasper asked.

“Fuck yes,” Brandon said and stood up, shaking the table enough to tip their glasses over. But before Jasper registered the wasted thirty-eight dollar martini soaking into the table cloth, he felt Brandon’s hand tilting his chin up and Brandon’s mouth on his own.

Fuck it, he told his brain and deepened the kiss, the heat in his abdomen already curling.

“Now, can you actually say something romantic?” he said when Brandon withdrew to his own side of the table, grinning like he’d won the lottery.

“Jasper Abernathy, I’m pretty sure I’m madly in love with you,” Brandon said. “Now can we get a check so I can take you home with me? If you want, we can kiss in front of the photographers and kill two birds with one stone. My great big coming-out party.”

Jasper smiled. “I think an interview would be a better way to do it. Just get the check for now.”

Brandon did pull him in for a kiss, though, shocking their server who had raved about the show before they’d made their orders. But Jasper didn’t care, if Brandon didn’t, either. It felt right to be kissing, the same as it always did when it was just for them and not anyone else. Raw and real, and hopelessly entangled in each other.