Work Text:
[DAY 1 OF TRAINING]
Minsan iniisip na ni Jhoanna na nakakapagod din pala kapag sobra 'yung tiwala ng boss niya sakanya.
Andito siya ngayon, isa nanamang training hall. Well, buti nalang this time eh sa isang function hall ng resort hotel dito sa Los Baños, Laguna. Buti nalamang din at familiar si Jhoanna sa lugar kaya maaga rin siyang nakarating.
The function hall smelled like faintly brewed coffee.
Jhoanna adjusted the name tag that they are required to wear through the training period. She was scanning the room. Projector humming at the front, people chatting in polite tones while waiting for the orientation to start.
She remembered her boss mentioning someone from another branch would be joining as well pero hindi niya na naitanong pa kung sino at nawala narin sa isip niya. Basta hindi bitch o manyakis na workmate, okay na si Jhoanna 'dun.
Five days mo ba naman makakasama para dito sa Pollution Control Officer Training Course. Awa nalang talaga.
She turned to her seat para tingnan kung marami pa bang kulang and then she froze.
Because standing by the registration table, holding a folder against he chest was her.
Colet.
For a second, Jhoanna's brain just... stopped.
She felt her stomach dropped.
Lahat ng ingay sa paligid niya parang naging white noise bigla.
And she feels every nerve in her body went on alert.
The last time she'd seen Colet in person had been months ago—before her transfer sa ibang branch to help out establish some system, before the quiet messages that also gradually thinned out.
But seeing her now, in the same room again, felt like opening an old chapter seh thought she'd already learned to close.
And then, just like that, the flashback hit her.
The first time Jhoanna met her was five years ago, back wen they were still applicants fresh out of college, at ganitong-ganito rin bumagal 'yung mundo niya nun.
She remembered the HR waiting room, with the weight of her nervousness. The door creaked open, and Colet stepped in, hair neatly tide, smile uncertain but bright enough to rearrange the moment.
"Hi, i'm Colet. Applicant ka rin po ba?"
That was it.
The first hit.
The first time her heart stumbled.
They'd been inseparable ever since they got regularized.
Same department, magkaharap pa sila ng work desk, same late-night deadlines, same shift palagi, and eventually, the same condo unit.
It has started as a practical idea naman talaga.
A studio unit just a few blocks from the office.
'Mas tipid sa rent, mas mabilis mag-commute.' they both said.
Life hacks nga kung tawagin nila since split sila sa lahat ng bills.
Only, no one warned Jhoanna that living with your crush meant leaning the exact sound of her laughter, the smell of her shampoo after every shower, or pretending not to notice the way their arms would brush when they cooked together.
Their apartment became a blur of shared moments— late-night cup noodles while watching Brooklyn Nine Nine, arguments about whose turn it was to take out trash, and sleepy good mornings over their insant coffee.
To anyone else, they were just close officemates.
To Jhoanna, it was a daily emotional chaos disguised as routine.
Because every morning, she'd wake up to Colet na nagmamadali nang gawan sila parehas ng sandwich so they can eat while they walk to work and every night, she'd wonder how can someone look so effortlessly soft in the yellow glow of Jhoanna's duck lamp.
"Good morning, Jho. Long time no see ah," Colet's voice cut through her memory— soft, the same tone that used to wake her up in the morning and that still lingered in Jhoanna's head sometimes.
"May nakaupo na ba dito sa tabi mo? Nahihiya kasi ako magtanong sa iba saka hindi ko sila kilala pa eh."
Classic Colet. Shy, but still managing to disarm her completely.
Jhoanna blinked hard, snapping herself back to reality.
Ngayon niyo siya kuhaan ng heart rate, baka over over ang lumabas sa result.
She forced a small smile, "Wala pa. Dito ka na para di rin ako ma-awkward sa iba."
Colet smiled back, settled down her things and took out some materials that she had prepared.
And for Jhoanna? The world, once again, slowed down just a little bit.
MELTDOWN COUNT: 0
Minsan, sa mga ganitong situations talaga nasusubok 'yung skill niya sa pagpapanggap.
Kanina pa siya tumatango sa facilitator nila while pretending to look engaged kahit deep inside ay wala nang pumapasok sa utak niya.
Yes, she was taking notes of what she thinks are important information but she also had doodled half a page's worth of nonsense on her notepad by the time the speaker reached to the 'definition of environmental compliance'. The powerpoint slides were fifty percent text, fifty percent pictures. Her brain was trying so hard not to melt.
Colet sat beside her, quietly taking notes as well, occasionally tucking strands of hair behind her ear.
Jhoanna caught herself watching that small motion far too many times.
'Parang gusto ko rin haplusin 'yung buhok niya... 'yung mukha niya... 'yung la— Focus, Jho!'
Para lamang magising siya, naglabas ito ng isang habang mentos mula sakanyang bag and pushed it toward Colet.
"Gusto mo? Para di nakaka-antok."
Colet simply stretched her hand out.
Jhoanna stared at it for a ful second before dropping candy on her palm.
Colet does not move as well and Jhoanna swore she felt Colet's eyes on her as well.
"Isa pa ba?" she asked.
"Ha?"
"Guisto mo pa ba ng isa?"
"Ah, hindi, okay na muna to. Thanks, Jho." Colet answered before popping the mentos in her mouth.
'Jhoanna stop staring! Tama ka na, bakla! That's a normal hand! Normal! Walang special about it! Okay, maybe mukha siyang soft and I—'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 1
During the afternoon session, they were just whispering with each other. Mga nagrereklamo kung gaano na sila ka-bored.
"Alam mo ba 'yung bonete?" Colet asked.
"Oo, d'yan nga sa Batangas may masarap, sa may bandang Lipa ata 'yun o Malvar."
"Ang sarap nga nun, lalo pag mainit tapos sasabayan ng kape, tapos.."
Colet was mid-sentence when Jhoanna realized it—she was staring at her lips.
Pink. Glossy. Moving. Kissab—
"May dumi ba ako sa bibig, Jho?"
"H-Ha?"
"Kanina ka pa kasi nakatingin sa lips ko, baka mamaya may lipstick ako sa ngipin."
"W-Wala, promise."
"Okay, good." Colet grinned, and then continue whispering on how good that specific bread is.
Gusto nalang magpalubog ni Jhoanna sa lupa.
MELTDOWN COUNT; 2
[DAY 2 OF TRAINING]
During breakfast, they both agreed na sa mismong buffet area nalang mag-meet para kumain since their rooms are in different floors.
"Jho, gusto mo ako nalang?"
"Oo." she answered in a heartbeat.
'Ikaw at ikaw lang naman kasi talaga. Period. No erase. Tapon susi.'
"Anong papalagay ko sa omelette mo? Tomato, red onion, salt, pepper, ano pa? Cheese gusto mo?"
"Paano mo nalaman 'yan?"
Colet laughed softly, "Baliw, 'yan lagi kong ginagawa para sa'yo dati pag umaga ah."
And there it was. A simple line, but enough to make Jhoanna's heart do a quadruple backlip—kung possible man 'yun.
MELTDOWN COUNT: 3
During the afternoon session, Jhoanna's hand were trembling as she write some notes.
And of course, Colet noticed.
"Nilalamig ka noh?" Colet whispered.
"Pano mo naman nasabi?"
"Baliw, nanginginig 'yang kamay mo."
Then quietly, Colet removed the blazer she was wearing and draped it over Jhoanna's shoulders, leaving her in her baby blue shirt.
"Baka mamaya para ka nang hotdog sa freezer jan eh."
Jhoanna snuggled on the blazer and slowly(and quietly, baka marinig ni Colet) inhaled—God. The smell. That familiar, comforting scent of Colet.
'Pero mas warm siguro kung i-hug nalang niya ako. Eme!'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 4
[DAY 3 OF TRAINING]
During lunch, Colet just asked Jhoanna to reserve them seats sa dining hall tapos siya na ang bahalang kumuha ng food nila. Sino ba naman si Jhoanna para hindi sumunod?
Colet then placed their plates in front of them.
"Jho, swap nalang tayo dun sa menudo. Akin nalang yung pasas, bigay ko nalang sa'yo yung atay."
Jhoanna blinked, "Wait, naalala mo pa 'yun?"
"Of course, fave mo rin naman yung atay eh. Kuha lang ako water natin? May coffee jelly pala dun, gusto mo rin?"
"O-Oo, sige." she answered and watched Colet fetch them their water and desserts.
'Oh, Lord. How is she real?'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 5
During the afternoon session, they were given multiple activities to do and so...
"Sige na nga, you can do it by pairs nalang para may ka-brainstorming kayo." the facilitator said.
Colet turned to her, "Jho, gusto mo tayo nalang?"
Jhoanna, who was busy highlighting something from a handout, was stunned.
"Ha? A-Anong tayo nalang?"
Colet giggled, "Tayo magka-pair sa activities? Ako na bahalang maghanap ng answers sa handouts."
"Oh, uhm, sige. Tayo nalang."
'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get your shit together, Jhoanna!'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 6
[DAY 4 OF TRAINING]
And so they were asked to present some of their output from the activities from yesterday. Colet was chosen to present their group's output. She stood in front, confident but soft-spoken, a little nervous but still explains their work very well. And Jhoanna? She couldn't look anywhere else, parang naging white noise nanaman lahat ng nasa paligid niya.
Then suddenly,
"Jho, any input daw?"
"Ah—yes po! I totally agree po!"
The room fell silent. The facilitator blinked, "With what, Miss Jhoanna?"
"With... Miss Colet po."
Laughter erupted.
After they sat back down, Colet leaned over, "Ang tanong sayo, Jho, kung paano raw natin nasabi na may effect din ang global warming sa mga animals sa ma-ice na areas lang nakaka-survive."
'Diyos ko po, end me gently na po.'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 7
Before dismissal, they took a group photo.
"Jho, dito ka sa tabi ko." Colet said.
Jhoanna's breath hitched.
Colet slung and arm around her shoulder, flashing a peace sign, and tiptoeing para magkapantay lang sila ni Jhoanna.
She froze on her spot, feeling the warmth of her hand against her bare skin.
'Sakto lang po pala itong pa-off shoulder ko today. Pero sana kamay ko naman next. Charot!'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 8
[DAY 5 OF TRAINING]
After the seminar officially ended, they bid their goodbye with some people they worked with.
Now, clutching their small luggages, they walk out of the hotel they were staying in.
"Paluwas ka narin ba o sa Calamba ka uuwi?" Colet asked, slinging her laptop bag over her shoulder.
"Ah, luluwas sana kasi kailangan ko parin mag-report kay boss bukas.":
"Sabay ka na sa'kin?"
"May sundo ka?"
"Hindi, may dala akong auto."
"Aba nga naman!" Jhoanna's face lit up. "Nakakaluwag-luwag ka na ah! Pero bakit stay-in ka parin dito?"
Colet scratched her head, smiling sheepishly, "Akala ko kasi wala akong kakilala rito, so mag-uwian nalang sana ako pero buti may dala akong damit! Pero ayun, since andito ka naman, nag-stay narin ako."
Jhoanna blinked.
'She stayed because of me?'
She quickly shook her head then watched Colet walking to her car with both of their luggage now.
'Napaka-delulu mo talaga, Jho. Tigil mo yan, bakla.'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 9
The drive back to Makati was quiet in a comfortable way, buti nalamang at walang traffic kung hindi eh pati 'tong si Colet eh buryong buryo na.
Sometimes they'd walk about work, sometimes about things na nakikita nila sa palid like bakit kung kailan may enforcer eh saka nag-ttraffic?
Colet hummed along to an OPM song playing faintly on the radio—"Kung ako nalang sana ang 'yong minahal...".
Jhoanna had to look away before her face betrayed her.
After they arrived infront of Jhoanna's building, Colet helped her unload her luggage.
"Awww, back to reality na ulit." Colet sighed while unloading her remaining items. "Sad."
"Yeah, wala na free food at coffee."
"No Jhoanna narin." Colet mumbled as she closes the trunk of her car.
"Ha?"
"Wala, sabi ko see you in my dreams."
"Ha?"
Colet laughed, and gave Jhoanna a pat on her head— like she always does before.
"Wala, sabi ko see you nalang ulit sa mga meeting sa Teams."
As she watch Colet drive away, she pressed her lips together, trying not to smile too obviously.
'Kung 'eto po ang cost ng sanity ko, kahit mag-advance payment narin po ako.'
MELTDOWN COUNT: 10
[BACK IN THE OFFICE]
Mondays for Jhoanna meant multiple meeetings, and endless updating of monitorings.
Jhoanna returned to the office, half-asleep, clutching her laptop—only to freeze mid-step.
The desk across her used to be empty—because it used to be Colet's.
But someone was unpacking office things there now. Familiar green tumbler. Familiar hair tied in a bun.
"Uy! Ate Colet! Welcome back!" Stacey chirped from behind before shooting Jhoanna a teasing look.
Well, nakwento kasi niya kasi kay Stacey 'yung mga kabaliwan niya during the PCO Training.
Jhoanna's jaw slackered.
"Uy, Staku." Colet said casually, before placing a cup of iced coffee in Jhoanna's table. "Hi, Jho. Musta? Nakapag-request ka na ba ng requirements mo para sa PCO Application?"
"A-Ah, ano, medyo... need ko pa magpa-notaryo."
Her voice cracked slightly, but Colet didn't seem to notice.
Hours later, when everyone else had gone home, the office was just quiet with just Colet's keyboard clacking.
Jhoanna just sent the report that her boss needed early the next day.
She took a sip on the iced coffee that Colet gave her earlier.
"Thank you pala rito," she started. "May pasalubong ka pa talaga. So, dito ka na ulit? Kasi parang nasa desk mo na ulit yung mga necessities mo eh."
"Yep," Colet answered, still typing. "Di ko sure kung ililipat pa ulit ako pero dito raw muna focus ko ulit."
"That's... nice" Jhoanna tried not to sound like she was screaming internally. "Sabi ka pa sa'kin ng 'See you sa Teams.' ha."
Colet smiled, closing her laptop. "Gusto mo mag-dinner? Haven't eaten the whole day, kinulong ako ni bossing sa office niya."
Jhoanna laughed.
"Andun pa ba 'yung dating sisigan na kinakainan natin sa may tulay? Na-miss ko na 'yun."
"Yeah. Tara?"
They packed up quietly, the kind of comfortable silence only people with history could have.
While waiting for the elevator, Colet stood beside her. Without a word, she reached down and slipped her hand into Jhoanna's—fingers intertwining naturally, like they'd done it a thousand times before.
Jhoanna froze.
"Alam mo ba," Colet said, almost whispering. "Nung nilalamig ka sa training palang, gusto ko talagang gawin 'to."
Jhoanna looked up at their reflection in the elevator doors.
Two silhouettes, holding on like it was the most natural thing in the world.
Colet smiled softly.
"Feels good to be back here. With you."
The elevator dinged, doors opened.
And still, neither of them let go.
Meltdown Count: To infinity and beyond.