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Not making it to the Stanley Cup finals, in the moment it happens, is extremely disappointing. Because they worked so hard to get as far as they did, and it’s a let down to the nth degree when they have to go home, overworked and empty handed, to watch the big show on TV. But, as end of the year meetings, medical appointments, locker clean outs and exit interviews happen, Alex feels super great about what he achieved in his rookie year in the NHL. Things could have definitely gone a lot worse than they did.
And, he’s got Brendan to commiserate and watch the finals with, so that’s fucking awesome. And, they are both in the race for the Calder, which is both a huge accomplishment and fucking nerve racking. He hopes that Brendan wins because he 100% deserves it and Alex dreams about the moment Brendan hugs him in the audience and then giggles his way through a speech he spent the whole night before writing. He needs that to become a reality.
His mom and sister have started packing up their stuff to move back to Russia for the summer. He was going to stay back in Montreal long enough to see the end of the season and consult with the coaches and team trainers, and whoever else, on what his summer should look like. Brendan is doing the same. Neither of them have leave dates and they aren’t in a hurry to make one. This year has had it’s ups and downs, but he’s not willing to admit it’s over yet.
‘some of the guys are going to pk’s to watch game-you in?’ Brendan texts him, in lieu of a good morning.
‘good morning to you-i see youve been in touch with the boys before me.’ It’s like 11 am, but still, it’s the off season.
‘are you in? or should i tell them no?’ They are at the point with the boys that only one of them needs to be given an invitation, it’s a given that they will come together, or not at all.
‘i’m in. want to grab some food before?’ He thinks that at least 25% of the team is on to the fact that they are more than just best buddies. Prust and Gorges, for sure. Pricey and Max, probably. P.K., questionable, but leaning towards probably. The rest don’t bat an eye at them because hockey is a sport of camaraderie and there are plenty of legit bromances, so nothing weird about their situation. It took him a bit to be convinced of it, but now he’s seen the light about the fact that their closeness is just run of the fucking mill in their industry.
‘sure. just come here whenever.’
____
Alex is working himself up to telling his sister before she leaves to go back to Russia. He’s game planned it a million different ways. A whisper in the ear as he helps them take their bags out of the trunk at the airport? Should he take her out to dinner and tell her that way? Have Brendan come, too? Should he text it to her while she sits at the airport? Email her on the night before?
Brendan votes for dinner because he thinks that’s the most proper way to do it. But, he also doesn’t think Alex should make a big deal of it. Like, maybe tell her as they are having breakfast one morning over eggs and coffee. Casual, light, easy, he says. Alex tells him that he knows nothing about Russians and Brendan says he thinks he knows enough while grabbing an absolute handful of his ass.
It’s two in the afternoon on the day before the women of his family are to leave Alex to, unknowingly, live in sin with his hot not-so-much-a-rookie-anymore boyfriend and he is spending the day in a ball of anxiety.
‘already missed the whole casual breakfast thing’ he texts Brendan, who is most definitely working out but, Alex hopes he decided to bring his phone along.
‘what about casual lunch? a little borsch and then a little closet cleaning’. Wow, Alex should not laugh at that because it is wrong in so many ways but he’s mostly glad that Brendan did bring his phone with him. Because he’s a great boyfriend like that.
‘i am not coming out of the closet. she already knows, dickhead. this is a whole nother beast.’ He’s leaning towards an email at, like, 2am because they have to be at the airport by at least 8 am, so chances are she won’t even see it until they are in the airport past security.
‘you know that you don’t actually have to tell her right now. no pressure here.’ Alex isn’t doing this for Brendan though. This is for him-for his relationship with his sister. It’s important to him and he already feels like a fucking jerk for not telling her yet.
‘thanks, i know, not for you, for me. if i call you crying at 2 in the morning it’s because she’s literally tore my face off for lying to her.’ He’s got to tell her though, face to face, you don’t email your family important shit. Email is for business, friends and extended family, not your fucking sister. Especially not one that supports you in everything you do. Fuck, he needs to take her out to dinner.
‘as long as she stays away from the wrists and the knees, it’s all good’ is the response he gets. Then, a minute later, ‘just kidding, i like pretty much all of you.’
‘what about dessert? like after dinner i take her for froyo.’ They just opened up one of those trendy ass places near their place and she has been dying to go. Plus, their mom is a complete lactose intolerant so she wouldn’t want to come.
‘sounds like a great idea.’
Done deal then, Alex thinks, it’s casual and it won’t feel like some special thing because they’ve been meaning to go and then he can drop the bomb over cake-batter froyo with fresh fruit and sprinkles on top. Fucking perfect.
____
“This is amazing,” Anna says after taking the first bite for her concoction. It cost him $11.50 for hers alone. “We should have come here a lot sooner.”
Alex went a little lighter on his, it only cost $7.50, but that is only because he doesn’t have any fruit. Yogurt and sprinkles, keeping it simple.
“You ready to be back in the motherland tomorrow?” He asks Anna around a spoonful.
“Not looking forward to the flight but it will be nice to be home, see my friends,” she says. He’s getting nervous. Like hands shaking nervous. “Will it be nice to have the place to yourself?”
He giggles and wipes his hands on his legs. How does someone sweat while eating frozen yogurt? “Uh, yea, for sure,” he finally says.
“Are you okay?” she asks. His forehead is definitely sweating.
“Yea, I’m fine. It’s just, I need to tell you something.” He’s all in now.
Anna leans her body forward in her chair and kicks her leg out at him. “What is it?”
“Um,” he stops and Anna motions with her hand for him to continue. “Um, it’s. I’m seeing someone. And by someone I mean Brendan. Gallagher. My teammate. Number 11. For the Montreal Canadiens. Yea.”
He continues to talk fucking nonsense because the mixed look of confusion and horror on her face is too much. She takes another bite of her froyo in lieu of a response, so Alex does the same.
“You know I already know this, right?” She finally says. “I mean, I knew you were into him and I was pretty sure that he was into you too.” Alex cannot literally breath. “But, I didn’t know that you had actually sealed the deal.”
He exhales and looks down at his mostly empty cup, he scrapes the side with his spoon, “Well, the deal has definitely been sealed.”
Anna’s mouth drops open a little bit and Alex can’t believe that he just told her that he’s had sex with Brendan, that he’s having sex with him. Holy shit, this is not what he wanted to say. He’s also glad they are speaking in Russian because he thinks the girls at the next table just took a cell phone picture of him. Please, don’t be videoing this, he thinks.
“So is this a sex thing, or is it more?” Anna asks him. She has yet to finish her froyo so Alex takes a huge spoonful of it to speed this process up.
“No,” he says with a mouthful, “it’s more. I mean it’s been a little shaky because I can kind of be an asshole sometimes, but I’m working on it, and Brendan seems to like me regardless, so, yea, it’s more.”
“Huh,” she says and takes the last bite, “well, I can’t say I’m surprised and I like Brendan. But, have you thought this through? Have you told anyone else?”
“Nope, you’re the first one. I mean, some of the boys have probably caught on but, no one’s said anything.” He’s ignoring her first question because he’s doesn’t have a good answer for it. ‘But I just really like him’ doesn’t seem to feel like the appropriate adult response.
“And what if someone does find out, like the coach or PR or some fan somewhere and then blasts it on the internet?” Anna has always been incredibly protective of him. When she deduced that he was gay back in Russia, she told him that they have to tell their parents but they are going to do everything to ensure this doesn’t put a wrinkle in his career. His parents were actually fairly cool about it, but they kind of swept it under the rug, because they are all so dedicated as a family to him being a professional hockey player.
“We’re super careful, you know, and two dudes being close and doing a lot of shit together in the NHL is not weird. We are low on the scale of bromance, if you ask me. At least in the media.”
“Alright. Okay,” she says. Alex can tell she is plotting something, a way to make sure that this doesn’t affect him in any negative way. “So, this is serious. Like, this isn’t some passing thing.”
“No, I mean, I’m not ready to put a ring on it, but we are enjoying our time together and we don’t want to be with other people.”
“You’re so young, Alex, and so is he,” she says and then gets up to throw their empty cups away.
When she sits back down he says, “Look, at the beginning, I didn’t want anything serious either. Attraction led to, you know, and then after a while there was more involved. Do you think I would be telling you if this was just some passing thing?”
“Okay, okay. I get it. First thing we are going to do is not tell mom or dad or anyone else. Same goes for Brendan. Keep this shit under wraps, at least for the summer.”
“I know, Anna, we got it. I wanted to tell you because I felt bad for lying to you and it would be nice to have someone to talk to because I screw shit up a lot. But, I don’t need you to be my career advisor here, okay? Just my sister.”
She grabs his hand and reaches across the table to kiss him on the cheek. “Okay. Thanks for telling me. Let’s go, I got a lot of packing to do.”
“Thanks for not being mad at me,” Alex says as they walk out.
“Oh, I’m mad at you. But, I’m also happy for you,” she says and Alex can’t help but fucking smile huge. “I know we kind of try to pretend you didn’t have a private life after you told us you were gay but you deserve to have one.”
“Thanks, that means a lot.”
“And, I like Brendan, I think he’s good for you.”
“He’ll be happy to hear that,” Alex says sitting down and putting the keys in the ignition.
“We’re all having dinner when I get back, tell him I have a few things he needs to know,” she says giving him the side eye. “Actually you should probably give me his phone number right now so I can be in contact immediately.”
“No way in hell, Anna. I know you and you will fucking threaten the guy with your Russian mafia friend. Not happening.”
She laughs and then he laughs. He feels so relieved it’s over and that she took it well. It’s a good start to what he hopes will be an amazing summer.
____
When they get back he texts Brendan, ‘i did it.’
30 seconds later his phone buzzes with, ‘and?’
‘it’s all good.’
‘told you!’ Anna had gone to her room to pack after giving him a hug at the door. Alex kind of wants to go to to Brendan’s now to celebrate or something but he knows he has to drive them to the airport in the morning, so text messaging will have to suffice.
‘if you get a text message from an unknown number with a threat about some dude named Vlad-ignore it’
‘haha, okay? i’m proud of you a.gally’
‘thanks b.gally. pick you up tomorrow after i drop them at airport?’
‘a little eager are we? last time they left i remember this going differently’
‘shut up. i’ve grown, matured, fuckface.’
‘really?’
‘ugh’
‘you owe me breakfast for making me get out of bed so early tom’
‘i’ll make you bacon!!!’
‘deal. can’t wait to be alone’
‘me either. night’
‘night :*’
____