Chapter Text
I wake slowly, my mind groggy as I stretch in bed. Half asleep I reach for Benji and find nothing but empty sheets. This startles my brain and I sit up to look for him, expecting him to be getting dressed or be in the bathroom. The bathroom door is wide open and I can clearly see he isn’t there and he definitely isn’t in the bedroom. I have no clue where he has gone and a seed of unease lodges itself in my belly. I brush it aside, he is probably in the kitchen. I’ll sneak back to my room to get dressed for today and meet him there or in the computer room.
I put on last night’s clothes and poke my head out the door to make sure no one is in the hall before I dash to my room. I quickly get dress and style my hair before a knock on the door has me smiling. I bet that’s Benji. I excitedly open the door, smiling brightly only for the expression to drop from my face. It’s Darrell. “Your dad wants you to have breakfast with him.”
“Of course he does.” I roll my eyes. Got to keep the image that he actually cares for me in front of Afonya. A united family front so to speak. I want to throw it all in his face and hunt down Benji but I also don’t like the thought of getting a beating. “I’ll be right there.” I close the door on Darrell’s face in the hopes that he will leave me alone.
I mess around with my hair for another minute or two, enough time for Darrell to piss off and open the door again to find him leaning against the opposite wall. “Can’t get rid of me that easy.” He smirks and I want to gouge his eyes out with a dull spoon.
“Whatever.” I grumble as I walk down the hall towards the dining room I am assuming they are in. Darrell’s presence is like a thorn in my side and I wish for the irritating fucker to just fuck off.
“I heard something interesting last night.” Darrell almost sings and I hate how chirpy he sounds.
“Oh really.” I say flatly, hoping my disdain comes through nice and loud for him.
“I was coming to check on you after dinner and there were some rather strange sounds coming from the IT guy’s room.” Darrell sounds smug now and I react before I can think not to, whipping my head around and staring at him, “Sounds like he had someone with him. Now I wonder who that could’ve been.” He is smirking at me and I know we have been actually caught out. Why Darrell hasn’t gone to my father yet is the real problem.
“What do you want?” I hiss at him as I drag him into a spare lounge. I do not need any more witnesses to this.
“I want many things Jesse. Power, respect, your father to recognise me. But I’ll settle for you spreading your legs for me like you do the IT guy.” He gives me his disgusting smirk as he reaches to grab me around the waist.
I push him away, disgust written all over my face as I step away from him. “Never going to happen.”
“Would you prefer I tell your dad that you like getting fucked in the arse. I’m sure he will be real accepting of his gay son.” Darrell threatens me, stepping into my space again, grabbing for me again. I push him away again and realise I have made a mistake, he is between me and the door. “It won’t be difficult for you. I’m sure you will even like it.” He croons and I feel nauseous.
“Stay away from me.” I warn him. If I need to I will fight him to get out of here. I feel like a caged animal and all I want is to get out.
“Or what?” Darrell laughs and I make an attempt to dash past him. He grabs me around the waist and yanks me back, throwing me backwards where I unfortunately trip over my own damn feet and end up sprawled out on the carpet. “You aren’t going anywhere.” He growls menacingly and I realise how foolish I have really been. He plans to do what he wants regardless of what I say.
I try to get up and away from him again but he kicks me in the stomach and then pulls a gun from out behind him. I freeze at the sight of it. I have seen him shoot people and know he is capable of ending a life and I do not want to die here. “Darrell, think what you are doing.” I try and reason with him. Once upon a time, we were actually friends. I am hoping to appeal to what good is left in him.
“I’m taking what I want.” He points the gun down at me, so much for the good in him, “Now strip.” He demands and I shake my head. I can’t give up just like that. I reach out for the gun slowly and he slaps my hand away before hitting my head with the butt of the gun. My head rings like a bell and I slump to the floor. “Fine. I’ll do it.”
He grabs the waistband of my pants and I fight back as hard as I can, which is pretty feeble with my head ringing the way it is. I claw at his hands and kick out at his body and he hits me with the butt of the gun again. I must have been knocked out this time cause I come to as he is yanking my pants down my legs. He has tied my hands together with something and I fight against the bonds. My head is pounding and my vision swims as he touches my arse, spreading my cheeks apart.
Oh my god, this is actually happening. My whole body tenses up as I come to the realisation that I am about to be raped. Darrell isn’t delicate. He spits on me before shoving two fingers inside of me roughly, making me cry out in pain. “You’re still tight. Good.” He huffs as he withdraws his fingers.
“Please. Don’t.” I plead with him as I break down sobbing, tears beginning to stream down my face. I don’t want this. Someone please save me.
“Could have had it nice. You chose it this way.” Darrell says before he leans over me and kisses the back of my neck, sending terrible shivers throughout my entire body. My sobbing shakes my bond body and I try to kick and buck him off but he just hits me again. I don’t pass out this time but I wish I had as he grabs my hips and forcefully enters my body.
The pain is excruciating and doesn’t stop. My sobs are uncontrollable now while Darrell takes what he wants from me. I plead with the universe to make it stop. I’ll do anything to make this nightmare end. But it doesn’t. Not until Darrell spills his cum inside me, making me want to throw up. “You’re a good fuck. I see why the IT guy likes you.” Darrell pats my arse cheek almost affectionately and I start to gag, “Don’t throw up now. Wait till I leave at least.” Darrell says in disgust.
I hear his zipper as he does his pants back up and then he comes and flips me over so I am laying on my back. He leans down and kisses me, my fight comes back and I bite him hard enough to make him bleed. “You fucking bitch!” He screams at me before throwing me down on the ground. My vision swims as my head hits the ground and I watch as he storms out the room, leaving me bound half naked on the floor.
I can’t stay like this. If I get caught in this state I am most likely going to end up even worse. The feeling of his cum trickling out of my arse makes me sick and I fight the urge to throw up. I am pretty sure I am bleeding as well. Not that I have anything to throw up, I haven’t eaten anything today. I roll onto my stomach again.
I test out whatever is tying my hands together and I think it’s one of the curtain tie cords. It feels like silky rope and I can feel the tassels at the end. Whatever knot he has done is holding fast. I ache all over and am still sobbing so it is hard to focus on trying to slip the knot or get my hands free. My wrists start to chafe as I continue to twist them to try and get free. I think I can get my hand free if I just pull hard enough. It hurts so badly but I keep pulling and finally my hand pops free of the rope. I am maybe missing a couple of layers of skin though.
I want to curl up in a little ball and cry for the next millennia but am still at risk of getting caught with my pants down, literally. I ease my aching body up and attempt to sit which sends spikes of pain up my spine, making me gasp. I decide standing is probably better and try to get upright. I am as shaky as a newborn foal but I manage to stand. Bending to pull my pants up is going to be harder and gravity is now pulling cum out my arse and down my thigh, bringing back the nauseous feeling in full force.
I am eventually able to pull my pants up and try to walk towards the door. Each step aches and sting and I want to stop and cry but I need to get to safety. Well, to relative safety. I want Benji to save me and comfort me while at the same time I never want him to know about this. I decide to try and get back to my room and hide there.
With my arse torn and my head bleeding, I find it difficult to walk in a straight line, relying on the wall to keep me upright. Once I get to my room I close the door and drag the chair over to lodge it underneath. It won’t save me for long but I at least feel a tad safer with it in place. I break down, my sobs coming back in full force, wracking my body. I collapse to the ground, jarring all the aches in my body as I continue to release my anguish.
After it feels like my tears have run dry, I start to feel numb. My pain still screams at me but inside I feel blank and fuzzy. I drag myself off the bedroom floor and into the bathroom where I turn the shower on as hot as it can go. I strip down, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror as I step into the cloud of steam, the hot water scolding my body. I start to scrub hard, trying to wash the taint I feel on my skin.
Eventually I just stand there under the water, feeling broken, a single tear escaping as I contemplate what I am going to do. How do you even move forward after something like this? I have no idea. I have been beaten badly before but never before have I felt so broken.
I find myself going through the motions of getting out of the shower, getting dried and dressed, to then find myself laying on my bed, clutching a pillow as the horrors play over and over in my head. I can remember every sound, every excruciating thing he did to me and it won’t stop playing on repeat in my head. I’m going to go mad. In a moment of weakness I pull my phone out and text Benji.
Jesse: Help me
When he doesn’t respond I toss my phone to the side. No one can help me now. I am broken beyond repair because of what he did to me. How will Benji ever love me now?
~~~~~
I must have fallen asleep cause a loud noise startled me awake. I sit up quickly and then wince at the pain. That’s not going away anytime soon. More loud noises and voices sound out and I get up from my bed, on edge. My door handle is jiggled but when the door doesn’t open it is quickly busted down. I have nothing to defend myself with so just stand in the middle of the room, expecting Darrell to come back for more or my dad to be on a murder spree.
What comes through my door instead is a bunch of men and a woman all in bullet proof vests and pointing guns at me. That’s not the first time today. I raise my hands in surrender, not wanting to get shot. “Jesse Wilson, you are under arrest.” The pretty woman says as she holsters her weapon and grabs a pair of cuffs. “I trust you will come easily.” I nod my head, too tired to talk. She pauses as she grabs my wrists, “Do you need medical attention?” I stare at her blankly and she blinks at me. “I’m taking this one to the ambulance to get him checked out.” She tells the men and they all nod before the stalk off to the next room.
The lady leads me out of my home in cuffs and I spot many of our members in cuffs as well. Outside I see Afonya and my dad in separate cars. I am a little surprised they didn’t go out in a blaze of gun fire but it seems that whoever has arrested us did so with the element of surprise. The lady’s grip is firm as she directs me to a medic who starts to check over my wrists and head, glaring at the lady agent who puts her hands up, “He was like this when I arrested him.”
The medic still gives her a disapproving look as he starts to assess me. I am watching the stream of people being arrested coming out of the house. I freeze when I see Darrell in cuffs, all the horror of what he did to me washing over me and giving me cold chills. The other thing that is causing major panic in me is the arresting agent that is leading him out. It’s Benji.
The medic notices my demeanour and follows my eyesight. “Is there something you need to tell me?” He says it softly and kindly and I feel tears spring in my eyes. I shake my head, choosing to remain mute about it. Who would believe me if I told them I was raped. “I can help you.” The medic places a hand on my lower back and I wince, the pain spiking. “He needs to go to hospital. He might have a concussion from repeated blows to the head.” The medic tells the woman agent.
My eyes are trained on Benji. I want him to look at me, to notice me. He puts Darrell with the rest of the gang before sweeping his eyes over everyone. That’s when he notices me. His eyes look shocked as he sees me standing with the medic and the pretty agent. He almost looks like he wants to come over and part of me wants that. Part of me wants him to come hold me and tell me everything will be alright like he did last night but he lied to me and I feel so betrayed.
I turn away from him and look at the medic, pleading with my eyes to get me out of here. He looks at me with sympathy before ushering me inside the ambulance. “He will need an escort.” the lady says as she pulls herself in after the medic and I.
“Fine, stay out of my way and he will need the cuffs removed.” The medic points at my bound hands.
“He will have to be cuffed to the bed.” The lady steps forward and undoes the cuffs before slapping them on the railing of the bed, chaining me down. The medic grunts as he comes to check my vitals.
“By the way my name is Stefan.” The medic, Stefan, smiles at me and I just stare at him blankly. I am far too broken to smile again. “You are safe here. Can you tell me what happened to you?” I blink at him, my eyes watery again as I relive the horror of my abuse in my head again. I shake my head, refusing to speak. “I can help if you tell me.” He says it kindly.
“Were you raped?” The lady agent seems to be more observant than I thought and I clam up, trying to seal all the feelings inside. It’s like a swirling storm and I don’t think I can contain it for much longer.
“Manda!” The medic, Stefan, yells at the agent. I feel a tear slip past my defenses and it rolls down my cheek before I angrily swipe it away. Not before both Stefan and Manda notice.
“Jesse, you are safe now. Nothing can hurt you. Just tell us what happened.” Manda says in a softer tone than I expected and I choke on the lump in my throat. They are going to keep insisting until I give them something.
“He hurt me.” I whisper, my voice hoarse.
“Who? Who hurt you?” Manda pushes me and Stefan scolds her again, “We need to know who so we can add the charge.”
“Darrell.” I say in a whisper and Manda is immediately on her phone, calling someone.
“Is there a Darrell that was arrested?” She pauses, “We need to add rape charges to his offence list.” She pauses again and looks at me, “He’s beat up but he will be fine.” She looks away, “Don’t do anything stupid, again. No, you cannot-, I mean it! Don’t do anything stupid you idiot!" She hangs up and I look away from her. I have a sneaking suspicion she was on the phone with Benji.
“What am I under arrest for?” I jangle the cuffs.
“Fraud and money laundering.” Manda says without looking up from her phone. I mean it makes sense. I kinda did that. At least they aren’t trying to pin any murders on me. Not yet anyway. I slump into the bed, feeling utterly defeated. I just wanted to be free but it looks like I am going from one cage to an even smaller cage.
~~~~~
They lock me to the bed after they have taken photos of my wrist, head and my butt which was incredibly humiliating. They need it for evidence and I am subjected to an exam of my rear as well which leaves me in even more pain. I am told it was a bad idea to have had a shower afterwards but I needed to wash the taint off. The one I can still feel on my skin.
I am left alone in a hospital gown feeling numb inside again. This day is too much for me and I contemplate how life has brought me here. The door opens and Benji walks in, which tears my heart to shreds. He is no longer wearing the bullet proof vest, just some smart pants and a button up shirt. I have never seen him like that and as much as I enjoy how he looks, my heart aches at the sight of him. “What are you doing here?” I spit out at him. He probably just used me, it was all a lie.
“I’m here for you.” He steps up to the bed and brushes his hand against the back of mine. I snatch it away quickly, my breath heaving at that little contact. “Am so sorry Jesse.”
“You lied. About everything.” I hiss at him. I just want him to go away and let me wallow in my own self pity. That’s what I am telling myself. I won’t let myself want him to comfort me.
“It wasn’t all a lie.” Benji says with his heart in his eyes and I can’t look at him any longer, turning my head away as the tears threaten to spill. I want so desperately to forgive him but I just can’t. He broke my trust and I don’t know if I can get it back again. He left me to get raped.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I look back at him, accusation plain and clear in my expression.
“I wanted to tell you. So many times. I nearly did.” He reaches for my hand aain and I let him hold my limp hand, “I did it for us. Now we can be free.”
I yank on my other hand, hurting the burns on my wrist but effectively drawing his attention to the fact I am cuffed to a bed. “I’m not free though, am I?”
“You can be.” Benji looks hopeful as he clasps my hand in both of his, brings it up to his lips and kisses my knuckles, “Make a deal. All your charges dropped in exchange for flipping on Afonya and your dad.”
I scoff, “And if they don’t have the evidence needed, I am going to have a target painted on my back. I may as well sign my own death certificate.”
“We have the footage from all the cameras and some of the staff are coming forward with what they have seen.” Benji squeezes my hand, “Please Jesse, make the deal. Then we can be together for real.”
“I’ll make the deal.” I say slowly. I may as well attempt this last ditch attempt to be free. Benji looks happy and smiles at me brightly, “But we can’t be together.”
His face falls and his brows furrow in confusion, “What? Why not?”
“You broke my heart Benji. I love you and you chose not to trust me. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me and lies to me.” It tears my heart out to finally confess to him for it to only be the end of our ill fated romance.
“Jesse…” He trails off, clinging to my hand. I pull it out of his grasp and feel the first tears roll down my face.
“Just go.” I tell him turning away from him and staring at the wall. He stands there for a few more seconds before he turns and leaves, taking the last few shreds of my heart with him.