Work Text:
Robert sighs heavily as he stares at the clock that he swears is moving slower and slower. Still two hours left. He was getting bored and anxious to see Herm again. A small wave of embarrassment washed through him as he realized how clingy he was for the tall, wet man. Anyone on Team Z could clearly see that Waterboy was entirely infatuated by the former Mecha Man. Waterboy would stand near Robert and try to talk to Robert, as much as his body allowed, any chance he could get. Team Z might not have noticed that Robert is the same as Herm. Robert can’t get him out of his head, and every minute that passed, he wished he were with him. It had been a while since he had let himself feel so secure around another person. Robert stares at his empty coffee cup as his chest warms, and his thoughts continue to gush over his new boyfriend. When Robert first started noticing his slight attraction to Herm, he pushed it away so he wouldn’t have to deal with it. Now all he can think about is how delicious Herm’s lips are, and how much he’s craving to kiss them again. Heat flushed Robert’s face. He should not be thinking this at work, at least for the sake that his thoughts could get more creative. If he started thinking about how Herm would feel inside of him, that would be bad. Oh no. Robert needs to desperately find a distraction before the growing lump in his pants becomes too much of a distraction. Just then, an exhausted Waterboy steps back into the office, fresh and slightly beat up from his previous mission. Robert’s face lights up when he sees the exhausted hero. He almost too quickly leaves his chair to join Waterboy’s company. Chase notices Robert’s dash from his desk and gives a questioning stare before returning to his own screen.
“Hey, Herm, how was the mission?” Robert smiles up at Waterboy to get a closer look at his slightly dirtied face. Herm’s face is still red from exhaustion,
“I-It went hard-difficult it was a difficult m-misson but I did it Robe- s-sir I did it sir.” Robert lets out a soft chuckle and gives Herm a soft nudge with his elbow.
“You can just call me Robert Herm. Even at the office.” Herm’s expression changes from anxious exhaustion to a large, dopey smile. “Here, let’s get you to the break room. You look pretty worn out.” Robert pats Herm’s shoulder, and he lets his hand linger a little longer than necessary.
Herm makes a loud, wet thump when he goes to take a seat in the breakroom. Robert stares at him with hunger in his eyes as he goes to the vending machine to get his favorite treat. Herm rubs his eyes to see Robert across the room, leaning against the edge of the counter. Herm then notices how Robert is looking at him. His eyes look greedy. Robert unwraps the Twinkie slowly from its wrapper and then proceeds to take a bite, still not breaking eye contact. Herm could swear the room was getting hotter, or maybe Robert was just getting hotter?? If that were even possible. Herm glanced down at Robert’s lips as he ate the rest of the treat in one long bite. They were soft and plump, a perfect contrast to his gritty stubble. Herm felt dizzy as he watched the lump in Robert’s throat as he swallowed. He could feel his ears and whole face burning, his mind racing with images of Robert. Herm suddenly got disracted when he saw that filling from the Twinkie was smeared on the side of Robert’s mouth. Herm felt he had to say something.
“R-RrRobert, there’s um cream um filling s-stuck to your head face-” Herm points as he stammers out his sentence. Robert starts rubbing the opposite side of the smudge.
“Hm? Oh! Thanks, Herm. Did I get it?” Robert plays dumb. Robert did know there was a smudge on his face and was purposefully avoiding it.
“Um..um n-no here-here can I um fix can I get it for you..?” Herm slowly walks towards him, nearly towering over Robert. Robert nods his head and pulls his face closer to Herm. Herm’s heart is beating fast in his chest as he lightly grabs Robert’s face and uses his finger to wipe at the corner of his mouth. Robert can’t focus on anything but wanting to see Herm’s heart rate rise. He’s just too cute when he’s flustered. He wants to see how worked up he can get. Robert glanced at the cream on Herm’s hand and slowly opened his mouth to gently lick the rest off his fingers.
“Mmm thanks, Hermy,” Robert says in a cheeky, seductive voice. Waterboy is frozen in place, his whole body is completely red, and all he can muster out is stammers. Robert bounces himself upright and heads towards the door.
“Welp, break’s over. I’ll talk to you after work!” Robert gives an evil grin and winks at Herm before leaving to return to his desk. Herm can hardly see with his glasses completely fogged.
“h-holy shit.” Herm breathes to himself. He knows he can’t move from this room, at least not until his very visible boner dissipates. Herm makes the mental note to look into suits with less flashy colors.
Later that evening, Robert lay on his couch staring at the ceiling. Robert has made some changes since moving on, but still not much, and still not nearly enough furniture or decoration. Despite living in an almost empty gray box, he felt warmth from his place, but maybe that was just the LA heat. Robert's lips coiled into a smile as he remembered his previous encounter with Herm. It was incredibly stupid and inappropriate for work, and if someone had walked in, neither of them would ever hear the end of it from Team Z. He’s extremely grateful they weren’t caught, but he does have to admit that the idea of being potentially caught doing something was kinda.. at least a little bit hot. But he should shake that thought from his mind. Robert’s phone buzzes in his hoodie pocket. A text from none other than Herm. His phone used to blow up all the time. Team Z created a group chat, and it very quickly became for out-of-work use, if it ever even was. It was constantly being blasted with memes, Robert didn’t understand, gossip, and bets. He would occasionally chime in, but he had to put it on silent, or his phone would have seriously overheated and died. Robert opened the message,
Wet Guy <3: Hey Robert! sry I didnt catch you on the way out from workColm and i grabed a drink
Herman got a little drunker than intended. Colm was a heavy hitter, and Herm was about as light as someone could be. Of course, he didn’t even try to keep up with his friend. He did, however, race him to one beer and lost. After that, they both just went with their own paces, leaving them both at a decent drunk.
Wet Guy <3: wee were celbrating the robbry
Wet Guy <3: not celebrating the robbery celbrating sstoping the robry
Robert Robertson iPhone: I understand you, Herm. Did you have a nice time out? <3
Wet Guy <3: yeeah but i missed you
Robert Robertson iPhone: oh did you?
Wet Guy <3: yeah I meanyeah if that’s like weird srry if that’s werd
Robert giggled at his phone, seeing how silly Herm’s worries are. He wonders how long it will be before Herman stops second-guessing every move he makes.
Robert Robertson iPhone: No Herman, it’s not weird to miss your boyfriend
Herm’s face steams behind his phone screen. Seeing Robert call him his boyfriend was making his stomach do loops. A crazy thought occurred to Herman. Maybe Robert doesn’t find me disgusting…
Wet Guy <3: ok great well Idid mss you I wanted to give yousome kisses afterwrk
With the mixture of alcohol and sweet delish words of enderment from Robert gave Herman a massive boost in confidence. He still needs to be careful and not let his filter be gone entirely, because Herm is a down bad freak. He wants more than anything to give Robert kisses, but he wants to do much, much more. Before Robert even responds, Herm continues
Wet Guy <3: u were super hot in the breakroom
Robert’s eyebrows raise at the sudden confidence. He feels his cheeks rush to his head and between his legs.
Robert Robertson iPhone: I’d love any kisses from you Herm <3
Robert feels so embarrassed at the state Herm puts him in. He’s gushing over his phone, sending sappy texts with growing arousal.
Wet Guy <3: what if I gav you kissesz other places?
Robert Robertson iPhone: I’d love that too, I said any kisses and I’m sticking by word
Wet Guy <3: what if i gave you kisses between your thighs
Robert was fully hard now, and there was no going back. When first getting into Herm, he saw him as so shy and timid that he took the assumption that he would take the lead in things. Robert is quickly discovering that it is not the case. Robert has a desperate desire to see what Herm is like when all his anxiety melts away, and he can just see his urges take control. Robert thinks it would be nice to let go. He’s always quite literally bossing everyone around, telling everyone what to do. Robert bites his lip as his hand reaches for his dick under his boxers, the other hand still holding his phone. He thinks it would be nice if he let Herm control him, let him do whatever he wanted to him. Robert had taken the submissive role with women before. What will be so different?
Robert Robertson iPhone: sounds great to me, Herm
Robert had thought about confessing to Herman what he was doing with his other hand, but he thought maybe that would be too forward at the moment. On the other side, Herman is feeling an extremely uncomfortable tightness in his black going out jeans. He starts to get impatient and quickly undoes his pants to satisfy his need to get off. Waterboy’s mind starts gathering a scenario of himself kissing Robert’s thighs, easing him up so he can fuck him sensually. Herman smiles to himself with a possessive desire as he remembers that no other guy has been with Robert. He’ll be the first person to explore that side of his body. Or at least he thinks so? Maybe Robert has experimented with women before? Even when Herman is tispy and jacking off, his mind still goes on side thoughts. Either way, Herman is just excited that he has Robert now, that he wants him just as much as he does, and that he plans to make sure he enjoys himself. With that thought, he finishes still clutching his phone as his hips buckle. Herman stares at his still hard dick, knowing he’ll have to do this several more times until he’s done. He’s honestly exhausted by how demanding his body is. He hopes he won’t tire Robert out too much, or that he’s too much to handle in the first place. Herman’s mind sobers slightly, and he shoots up, remembering Robert’s inexperience, and Herm is huge. He’s going to have to genuinely warn him. Herman starts frantically texting Robert again.
Wet Guy <3: robert not to possibly get ahead of things i know yyou want to take this slow but oh god this is going to sound forward but have you prepared yourself at all in away?
Robert is in a deep, fuzzy trance as he’s been picking up speed and biting onto his arm to keep quiet. He hasn’t even noticed that Herm has texted him, and he got two offers for Uber Eats. Robert’s eyes roll to the back of his head as his hand and hips come crashing down on him as he completes. He lets out an agitated grunt when he realizes some has gotten on his hoodie. He finally notices the text from Herm.
Robert Robertson iPhone: What do I need to prepare for exactly?
Wet Guy <3: well I just need to be upfront if you and i are to getphyiscal and if this is your first or if you r inexperienced that you might need to ease yourself alittle i am a bit larger then average
Herman always feels reserved about saying this because he worries people will think he’s being overcompensating or too prideful. This is not the case; in his many sexual encounters with people, he’s run into the problem several times of being too large.
Robert Robertson iPhone: oooh don’t think I can handle you?
Wet Guy <3: Ii never said that i’m just saying it’s been an issue with some people and i want you to hae a nice time
Robert Robertson iPhone: riiight I forgot you’re a huge slut I guess, with an apparently huge dick
Herman’s cheeks start blushing again as Robert teases him. Herman wants to send him a picture for proof that he isn’t just hyping himself up, but he thinks a drunk sloppy dick pic is an unclassy move, undeserving for Robert’s first look.
Wet Guy <3: serrsly do you own lube
Robert Robertson iPhone: no
Herm smacks his hand against his face at Robert’s unpreparedness.
Wet Guy <3: ok. I will give you some.
Robert Robertson iPhone: haha you better ;)
Robert Robertson iPhone: I’m sure you’ll take care of me, Herm I trust you <3
Wet Guy <3: I ppromise i will Robert i can manage to brag that i am good at it ii gotten plenty of positive reviews
Robert Robertson iPhone: i get it you’ve had many awesome gay lovers you’re starting to make me jealous. Do I need to be worried about anyone?
Wet Guy <3: no! no you don’t I just sleep with them no lovers over here just you and me or just i’m just a slut robert you were right sorry
Robert Robertson iPhone: Hey no worries you teach me I teach you remember?
Wet Guy <3: rright goodnight Robert ill see you tommrow <3
Robert Robertson iPhone: Goodnight Herm <3
Robert turns away from his phone, softly grinning. He feels himself falling deeply for this man. He has so many more sides than the average person sees, and he’s so happy that he gets to see all Herm has to offer. Robert cannot deny the internalized fear he has for his sexuality. His parents were unsupportive at times. It has prevented him from seeking out guys for a long time, but his hunger for Herm was becoming too strong for these thoughts. Robert’s attraction towards Herm might not be evident at first, but he’s tall, has a handsome face, tall, beautiful eyes, pretty hair, tall, he’s actually pretty lean from working out, and yeah, he’s tall. Also, according to Herm, he’s packed. The thought would make him hard again if he weren’t so sleepy. Robert lets sleep take over, and he falls asleep on his couch.
The next day at work, Robert is drinking a cup of coffee next to Herm as Herm eats some melons before the busyness of the shift. Flambae struts past them and gives Waterboy a disgusted stare.
“Hello Bob Bob, hello wetfartboy,” Flambae says coldly as he grabs one of Waterboy’s melon sticks and burns it to a crisp, and walks on as if nothing happened.
“Hey, what the fuck?!” Robert shouts as Flambae continues to walk by. “What is with that guy he’s such an asshole to you and you two have been working together for months now. I should talk to someone about this this is gone on fa-” Robert’s rage is cut off by Waterboy,
“N-no it’s it’s fine really I no need at all.”
“I just don’t see why he’s so rude to you,” Robert rolls his eyes angryily as he takes another sip of his coffee.
“P-Pprobably because I um… I um..never called him back…? I.. think that um hurt his feelings,” Herman confesses awkwardly, which causes Robert to dramatically spurt out his coffee.