Chapter Text
The plan was simple, too simple once they’d exited the upside down. Slipping out of the truck unnoticed had been easy enough once everyone had realised they’d been ambushed. No one spotted her as she snuck back into the upside down, watching silently as the military pinned them all to the truck, separating them all from each other. They still fought, even though they were outnumbered, a small fact that El admired.
When they’d all realised that she hadn’t escaped, hadn’t got out, Mike was the first to react, running towards her with a desperation that she hadn’t seen from him in years. She couldn’t let him reach her, couldn’t let him stop her, not when her mind had been made up from the start. She closed her eyes, pulling them both into her mind, watching as Mike ran up to her.
“You have to get out of there, you have to get out.”
“None of this will ever end, not if I’m still here.”
Mike’s voice cracked as he looked at her panicked, “No, no, no. We’ll figure something out. We’ll fight back. We always do.”
“I need you to talk to the others.”
“No. No-” Tears streamed down both of their faces.
“I need you to thank them for me.” El’s voice broke as she struggled to choke out her words, needing to get her point across before she could go. “For being so kind to me and teaching me what it means to be a friend.”
“No! Please don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”
“Mike, I need you to help them understand my choice.”
"But I don’t. I don’t understand.”
“I know. But you will. One day you will.” Mike looked down, shaking his head before looking back at her, eyes glossed with a thick sheen of tears. “You understand me. Better than anyone. You always have.” She raised her hand, cradling one side of his face, the boy leaning into the touch, tears flowing freely down his face. “From the day we met– you’ve seen me. The real me.”
The two of them wrapped each other in a hug, El embracing him with all the strength she could muster, face screwed up in sadness as she attempted to reign back the flow of tears.
“Please don’t leave me El. Please don’t do this.”
“I will always be with you. I love you.” The two of them leant in then, their kiss a mess of tears and sadness, but she wouldn’t have had it any other way. As she pulled away, she held onto him for a bit longer, allowing herself to mourn the loss of the boy who had loved her the most. He wouldn’t understand, not yet. Maybe he would never understand why she chose to do what she did, but she needed him to know that it was the only way. “Goodbye, Mike.”
She watched as he was pulled out of her mind, two of the men grasping him by the shoulders and pulling him back, his cries of her name only causing her tears to fall harder. Everything descended into chaos after that, Nancy attempting to reach her hysterical brother, Jonathan trying to protect Nancy from the military. The boys were desperately trying to reach her, her boys, only to be held back in the same way Mike was. Their screams clouded her ears, her only able to hear the screams of her names from the people she loved. Hop broke her heart the most, watching her from where he was being held with a sadness in his eyes that was too much for El to be able to put into words. She wished she’d said more to him on the rooftop of the lab, wished she’d said “I love you Dad.” in the same way he had told her he loved her before he had thought he was going to die in the military base.
And as El stood there, waiting for the void to take her, waiting for her suffering to finally end, she locked eyes with Max. Max. Her first true friend. The one to show her what it was like to be Jane, to be a normal girl, to find out what ‘felt like her’.
Mike had shown her how to love someone. Hop had shown her what it was like to have a dad. Will, Jonathan and the other boys had shown her what it was like to have brothers - proper brothers. But Max, Max had shown her what it was like to love herself, what it was like to be like a normal girl her age. Max had shown her individuality, and had equally shown her the importance of having a girl best-friend her own age. She’d missed Max when she’d been in Lenora, and had needed her strong presence when dealing with the bullies she faced. Max would’ve known exactly how to help and El had yearned for that in those lonely months. They hadn’t got enough time together since Max woke up, and she hated that. She wanted nothing more than to be able to have one final sleepover, just like they had that summer. She’d miss Max, a lot. She’d miss everyone. Maybe, in another world, she could stay. In another world, she could stay with the party, learn how to live a normal life - finally take back what had been stolen from her before she’d even had a chance to experience anything - but she couldn’t. It had to be this way, she had to do it. For them. She couldn’t have a normal life, but they could.
The wind picked up around her, shrapnel flying past her at dangerous speeds, but she kept her eyes locked on Max, tears flowing readily down her face. Max shook her head, crystal blue eyes shrouded in tears, attempting to lurch forward in her wheelchair towards her, only to be held back by one of the military men. “EL!” She watched as Max struggled in the grip, desperately attempting to reach her, just like Mike was from over by the van. “EL!” She shook her head, as she finally tore her eyes away from the girl.
She took one last look at everyone. Despite everything, the years that had followed Mike finding her after she escaped the lab had been the best of her life. She was glad that she’d had the chance to know what it was like to be loved, if only for a little while. She loved each and every one of them with all her heart, and she just hoped that they would all finally get to be happy now that things would be finished.
It would be over soon. She would have liked to say goodbye, to give everyone one last hug before she went, but she knew that they wouldn’t let her go so easily. In those last moments, she didn’t dare close her eyes, didn’t dare look away. She wanted the last thing she saw to be the people she loved, no matter how painful it was.
And as she felt herself being tugged away from them, she let herself close her eyes, let herself feel the sadness of losing all the people that she loved, before she let the darkness greet her like an old friend.