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English
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Published:
2026-01-11
Completed:
2026-03-10
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16,533
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7/7
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Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes

Summary:

Hayden knew he shouldn’t do it. He knew snooping on someone’s phone is not cool at all, but Shane’s dry spell had really tanked their standing for the playoffs.

And before, anytime he was off his game a little “hanging out” with his “good friend” Boston Lily seemed to fix him up. Set him straight.

So, while Shane toweled off in the showers, Hayden might have grabbed Boston Lily’s number from his phone.

{Or, Hayden keeps meddling in Shane's love life to his own detriment.}

Notes:

I loved Rachel Reid's My Dinner with Hayden short story and wanted more Hayden & Ilya content. I also like torturing Hayden into slowly, with dawning horror, figuring out Shane is both a gay man and fucking Ilya Rozanov. This is fun for me!

Fingers crossed we get to see Hayden meeting Ilya next season!!!

Chapter 1: Con-TEXT is Important

Notes:

***The text exchange images on this chapter now have descriptive Alt Text for screen readers! Please don't hesitate to let me know if I need to modify the Alt Text, it was my first time doing it for a text convo so if it isn't understandable I can workshop it! Thank you @Not_so_Innocent_69 for bringing this to my attention! If you need a transcript version please reach out to me on tumblr @quagsireinthemud.***

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Con-TEXT is Important

Hayden knew he shouldn’t do it. He knew snooping on someone’s phone is not cool at all, but Shane’s dry spell had really tanked their standing for the playoffs.

 

And before, anytime he was off his game a little “hanging out” with his “good friend” Boston Lily seemed to fix him up. Set him straight.

 

So, while Shane toweled off in the showers, Hayden might have grabbed Boston Lily’s number from his phone. Look, it’s not his fault Shane’s phone was so easy to break into! Shane has had the same phone passcode since forever- 1221 and he’s not exactly stealthy guy. At least Hayden cycled his passcodes between his, Jackie’s, and their children’s birthdays. So many children’s birthdays...

 

He quickly added Boston Lily as a new contact and decides to just name her number “B.L.” so as not to arise suspicion if Shane ever saw him texting her.

 

Hayden knew Shane struggles with social interactions and he just wants to help his buddy out of a slump! And beating the Raiders was the cherry on top. Hayden couldn’t wait to rub it in Rozanov’s face.

 

Truly he was such a good friend.

 

He texted Lily’s number and was shocked (read: relieved) to see three little dots appear almost immediately. Then they fell away, reappeared, and fell away until finally Lily replied back.

Screenshot of a text exchange between Hayden and unknown number 1-617-811-1221. Hayden Text 1: Hi Lily. Hayden Text 2: Uh, I know we haven't met before but I'm Hayden Pike, Shane's best friend. Lily Text 1: I know who you are Hayden Pike. Did Hollander give you this number? Hayden Text 3: No! No! Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that- I actually grabbed it from his phone... Lily Text 2: Ah so you are bad at hockey and a snooper. Hayden Text 4: Lol good to know Shane likes a girl with a sense of humor. End text exchange

Hayden was, as the youth say, shook. And insulted!

 

He’d never been able to pin down Shane’s type of girl but snarky and rude was way low on the list of traits he’d used as criteria to set Shane up with Jackie’s friends. Is this how she talked to him too? Did he like it? Maybe she was just rude to him because he had gotten her number through illicit channels?

Screenshot of a text exchange between Hayden and B.L. Lily Text 1: Was not joke. Hayden Text 1: Ouch. Hayden Text 2: Well...Anyway, not important. I'm sure you're bias because of your relationship with Shane. Hayden Text 3: Speaking of which he's been going through a dry spell lately... Hayden Text 4: Goalwise, I mean! Lily Text 2: And? Hayden Text 5: ...well, we are playing in Boston in a few days and I figured you might want to... Hayden Text 6: ... you know. End text exchange.

Hayden wished he wasn’t blushing like a virgin right now.

Screenshot of a text exchange between Hayden and B.L. Lily Text 1: You want me to fuck him. Hayden Text 1: ... Hayden Text 2: I mean, if he's into that... Lily Text 2: He is. Hayden Text 3: Cool cool cool. I didn't need to know that about my bud there, Lily. Lily Text 3: Did you or did you not steal my number to get your bud laid? Hayden Text 4: I...did do that yes. Hayden Text 5: But listen, he plays better after being with you. End text exchange.

Okay that was way too much info for Hayden. Not that it was a problem or anything. He knew plenty of guys liked… well… And not to say he had a vanilla sex life with Jackie! But they’d never done that… Fuck, this was going off the rails, he needed to steer them into safer waters.

Screenshot of text exchange between Hayden and B.L. Lily Text 1: Does he? Hayden Text 1: He tries to keep uh whatever you are to each other on the DL. Lily Text 2: I know you are married Pike but surely you've heard of fuck buddies. Hayden Text 2: JFC! Lily Text 3: I'll fuck Hollander on one condition. Hayden Text 3: ??? I thought you liked Shane! Lily Text 4: Condition: Get him his own room, a few floors away from the team. Hayden Text 4: How the fuck would I do that? End text exchange.

How could he possibly pull that off? Like okay, Shane is obviously the star player of the Metros, so maybe Coach Theriault would go for it. Depending on the city, sometimes they got single rooms but never in Boston…

 

God, Lily was something else.

 

Shane has his snarky moments, sure, and he’s highly competitive but he was always respectful and polite. It was hard to imagine the words “fuck buddy” falling from Shane’s lips especially in relation to someone else.

Screenshot of a text exchange between Hayden and B.L. Lily Text 1: If you want your buddy to score... Lily Text 2: Get him his own room. Lily Text 3: You can say he's meditating or something boring to get ready to face off with Rozanov. Hayden Text 1: Pfft, like he needs to psych himself up against that asshole. Lily Text 4: I will psych up his asshole plenty for Rozanov. Hayden Text 2: ... End text exchange.

If Hayden had been prone to wearing his Gam-Gam's pearls they would have been clutched right now.

 

He had to finish this conversation before Boston Lily gave him a heart attack.

Screenshot of a text exchange between Hayden and B.L. Hayden Text 1: You know, I thought Shane liked nice girls. Lily Text 1: [smiling devil emoji] Hayden Text 2: Alright, whatever. Hayden Text 3: I'll get him a room, alone, away from the team. Lily Text 2: [eggplant emoji] [water squirt emoji] [peach emoji] End text exchange.

Hayden cringed at the emojis and like a man walking towards his execution he went to Coach Theriault’s office.

It took a lot of convincing (and groveling and psychological mind-games), but Hayden successfully secured Shane a single room, three floors up from the team.

Screenshot of continuation of previous text exchange between Hayden and B.L. Hayden Text 1: Got it, room #1410. Lily Text 1: LMAO. End text exchange.

When Coach Theriault announced the room assignments, Shane got a confused, momentarily concerned look on his face as he glanced over at Hayden mocked mirrored confusion.

 

Given Lily’s response, Hayden took special care to watch his friend when their coach gave him the card key for Rm 1410; Shane ducked as he said his thanks, red trailing up the back of his neck. Shane didn’t embarrass easy and blushed even less…

 

There was something weird going on with Shane and Boston Lily. Besides the pegging- which Hayden was totally normal about knowing! He had not fallen down a Wikipedia rabbit hole the previous night- nope nope nope.

 

Hayden went to bed that night to the sounds of J.J. snoring, resolving to put this whole thing out of his mind and focus instead on what a good best friend he is. It's obviously totally platonic (and normal!) to facilitate getting your best bud laid. It was selfless of Hayden- hell it was for the team. 

Screenshot of a text exchange between Hayden and B.L. Lily Text 1: You are welcome BTW. End text exchange.

Image bordered in cracked ice. First line inside has the Montreal Metros logo, followed by versus, and then the Boston Raiders logo. On the second line under the Metros logo is the number 3, then the word final, then the number 1 under the Raider's logo. End image.

 

Hayden Pike: -1,000

Notes:

Because I'm a goober and I like to leave little "easter eggs" in my fics here are some you might have missed!

Ilya's number is 1(US Country Code)-617(Boston area code)-811(his jersey # + # of cups he's won)-1221(second hotel room they hooked up in). Please don't call this # looking for Ilya Rozanov, no one will be happy with the outcome.

Also while B.L. could stand for Boston Lily it commonly stands for Boys' Love (BL [or yaoi]) usually written by women for women. So this is a nod to all the BL ships that I've had before!

Next time on Play Stupid Games, Win Stupid Prizes: Hayden & Shane's aquarium bro-date doesn't go as planned and why is Lily accusing him of baby trapping Shane???