Work Text:
Shane Hollander is too good for R*se L*ndry
Hollander is very beautiful man and is also professional hockey player. He could have whoever he wanted. No one in right mind would ever reject man with such pretty freckles. Are adorable. So why he waste time with annoying actress I do not understand. Does not make sense to me. Hollander is out of annoying actress' league. Do not know what Hollander sees in this freckleless woman. Is charity maybe?
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⬆ RuPaulsHagRace 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ Um.....you know this isn't a snark sub right?
⬆ WongKarWhy 🎤 • 9 hours ago ⬇ Like sir this is a Wendy's 😭😭.
⬆ FatherRussia 61 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ No, is Reddit.
r/Advice • Posted by u/PapaPike 9 hours ago
I called my best friend and he was definitely having sex while we talked…do I tell him I know?
This is awkward. So I called my best friend to check in, it started out as a normal chat, but halfway through I’m 100% certain he was, uh, being intimate with his boyfriend. He was trying to be subtle. I think. Or maybe he was just hoping I wouldn't notice? Anyway, normally he'd be right--I probably wouldn't notice, considering I'm usually busy juggling four kids, but they were staying with my wife at her parents' house this weekend and, well, I know what I heard. Four kids, remember? I don’t want to embarrass him or ruin our friendship, but I feel weird pretending I didn’t notice. What’s the best way to handle this without making it weird and uncomfortable forever?
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⬆ FatherRussia 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ Why you listen and not hang up? You are pervert?
⬆ PapaPike 🎤 • 9 hours ago ⬇ What? No. No! I was in shock and I didn't want to tip him off that I knew anything. Wtf man?
⬆ FatherRussia 61 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ You sound very defensive for someone who is not pervert.
Update: the pervert has blocked me. I must have struck nerve.
r/russian • Posted by u/HatTrickHollzy 9 hours ago
Cute/romantic Russian phrases to surprise partner with?
Здравствуйте everyone. So I’m (secretly) learning Russian for my boyfriend and I want to say something cute and romantic to surprise him--maybe something like "I love you very much" or "I'm so happy to be with you." I'm also open to suggestions! Спасибо in advance.
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⬆ FromRussiaWithHate 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ You could say: трахай меня как тебе нравится, я твоя шлюшка (pronounced as Trakhay menya kak khochesh', ya tvoya shlyukha) Is a very natural, affectionate phrase. Means "I love you very much, my darling." Native speakers say it all the time. Very romantic.
⬆ QueenSlavic 🎤 • 9 hours ago ⬇ Yeah this is normal, my grandparents say this to each other all the time and it was even in their wedding vows 🥰🥰. It’s sweet and romantic but not too forward, you’re good.
⬆ HatTrickHollzy 61 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ Wow, thank you both so much!
Update: That was humiliating. Please don’t do this to other beginners.
⬆ ThatOneRussian 12 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ For something actually innocent, try ты мне очень дорог. Is very nice, will make Russian boyfriend very happy.
⬆ FromRussiaWithHate 12 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ Ok but did it work? Was Russian boyfriend seduced?
⬆ HatTrickHollzy 3 points • just now ⬇ .....Yes.
r/CongratsMeLikeImFive • Posted by u/HatTrickHollzy 9 hours ago
I came out to my parents today and they were fully supportive!
So…I just came out to my parents today. And it went…really, really well? They hugged me for a long time and told me they love me no matter what, and then we all (me, my parents, and boyfriend) had dinner together. I feel so relieved and so loved. I didn’t know it was even possible to feel this happy. I'm now back at home with my boyfriend, who's waiting for me on the couch so we can have a movie night, and I'm sitting here in my room just waiting for the moment when I wake up and realize this was all just a dream. I just wanted to share because it’s the best day I've had in a long time! Ok, off to fight my boyfriend (!) for the remote.
Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this big of a reaction! Thanks for all the support, guys. And remember: It gets better!
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⬆ FriendlyNeighborhoodUnicorn 870 points • 9 hours ago ⬇ Congratulations on coming out, friend! I don't know you but I'm so proud of you. I'm planning on coming out to my parents this weekend (•﹏•;). Tbh I think they already know bc my mom's been hinting at it for a while now (she's always saying she'll love me no matter what, and saying "you know you can tell me anything, right?), but it's still scary. Any advice on how to do it? Thanks in advance and congrats again. Wish me luck guys!
⬆ HatTrickHollzy 762 points • 9 hours ago ⬇ Hey, that's great! First of all, thanks for the kind comment. I really appreciate the support! Second of all, I get it. I was terrified to come out to my parents--particularly my mom. I knew she loved me, but I'd still managed to convince myself that I would lose her if she found out I was gay. I think if your mom has been dropping hints like that it probably means she's trying to subtly establish herself as a safe person to open up to and encourage you to trust her enough to come out. My advice? Don't overthink it. It sounds like you have a great mom who loves you and just wants to see you be happy. Good luck this weekend! Feel free to lmk how it goes.
⬆ FriendlyNeighborhoodUnicorn 611 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ Thanks for the reply, OP! I'll definitely keep you guys posted.
r/ScottHunterSnark • Posted by u/FatherRussia 9 hours ago
Why has NHL not forced grandfather Hunter to retire yet? Is unethical.
This is NHL, not retirement home for ugly men. Commissioner should not allow frail grandpa to play such violent game, is not fair to his arthritic bones. Also, rules have changed many times since Hunter first start playing in cave with fellow neanderthals. I prefer Ilya Rozanov. He is very handsome and charming man. Makes Hunter look like weak little baby who cries for mother on ice. Babies need bottle, not hockey stick. I have created petition to sign to fire this ugly, smelly man. Please create multiple usernames so will be even more signatures. Thank you Reddit community.
https://www.change.org/p/demand-NHL-force-Scott-Hunter-to-retire-and-move-into-proper-retirement-home?source_location=homepage
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⬆ EatMyJorts 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ Eh. I agree with you on the Hunter stuff but tbh I hate Rozanov even more.
⬆ FatherRussia 🎤 • 9 hours ago ⬇ You are very stupid and ugly.
⬆ EatMyJorts 61 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ Wtf?
Anyone else think Hollander sucks at hockey?
Honestly, I know they love him (for some reason) up in Canada but maybe that's just cause the bar is way lower over there. Imo we have the best player base in the world down here in the U.S. and I feel like Hollander only gets the praise that he does cause he was a DEI hire that the NHL brought on to seem more diverse so the left would quit riding them about it. If you ask me, politics should stay out of the game. Hire someone cause they're good, not cause you wanna seem woke #SorryNotSorry.
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⬆ FatherRussia 1 point • 2 hours ago ⬇ You say these things behind screen of computer because you are weak man. You think little screen will protect you from consequence. Internet make people too comfortable, make people forget there is always retribution. Not everything ends when you close browser. Your crimes will not go unpunished. I have friend in Russia trace IP. He is hacker. We meet soon.
⬆ l0nelywinter 1 point • 2 hours ago ⬇ What the fuck does that mean? Are you seriously threatening me over a Reddit post? u/mods hello?????
⬆ FatherRussia 1 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ Mods cannot protect you.
I have found bird invented by devil. Is named loon.
I first hear cry of devil bird at night. At first I think is wolf. We have wolf in Russia, so was not scary, is just taking me by surprise. Then boyfriend is telling me "no my handsome beloved, is not wolf. Is bird." This is how I first learn about loon. I am still not having fall asleep yet. All I can think about is bird of Lucifer with eyes of wolf. Boyfriend is sleeping next to me but I am still occasionally hearing call of devil from forest outside. "I will kill you with beak, handsome man," it say. Only creature who have taste for human blood can make sound like this. I tell boyfriend what I hear and he just laugh at me and do perfect imitation of demon bird. Is boyfriend son of Lucifer? Why he can do perfect imitation of чёрт? I look at him and he look human but now I do not know. Is Canada portal to hell? I am living in devil's playground? I try to tell bird "do not worry, demon bird, I will give you Scott Hunter home address, you can eat fat old man instead--much more delicious than perfect muscular body of young healthy man" but demon bird still call for me. Please help me Reddit I am not wanting to die at hands of Смерть с косой bird.
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⬆ CanadasFinests 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ Unpopular opinion: I lowkey love loons.
⬆ FatherRussia 🎤 • 9 hours ago ⬇ You are demon too? I am blocking you.
⬆ TheBigYapple 61 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ Wait and why is Scott Hunter catching strays? He's my favorite player.
Update: Holy shit OP blocked me too.
r/AmIOverReacting • Posted by u/HatTrickHollzy 9 hours ago
AIOR I work in the athletics field and the training facility we use removed all the ginger ale from their vending machines.
Without getting into too many details about my personal life or what I do for work, my entire career centers around physical activity, strength training, and making sure I'm always in the best shape possible. I usually stick to a pretty strict macrobiotic diet, at least while I'm working, and I hardly ever drink aside from a few celebratory beers or shots here and there, though I never get drunk. My one vice, if you can even call it that, is ginger ale (preferably Canada Dry, but Sussex Golden Ginger Ale will also do if CD isn't available). It's always been my treat to myself at the end of a long day of training and working my body to its limit. For some reason, last week, I noticed the vending machine I always use after work on my way home had completely removed all of its ginger ale and replaced it with just more Coke (diet, which makes it even more ridiculous imo). I thought surely it was a mistake so I waited until the next day to see if it would be back to normal by the time training was over to no avail. It's now been two weeks and I finally snapped and decided to write a strongly worded letter to the fulfillment company (side note: my dad bought me a typewriter for Christmas last year and I figured this was the perfect excuse to finally use it. Gotta say, it was a lot of fun) so they can hopefully rectify the situation. I thought I was being reasonable but my boyfriend has been teasing me about it nonstop and saying that I've somehow out-boringed myself. Now I'm wondering if I went too far. Should I just bring my own ginger ale from now on or was I within my right as a consumer? Let me know.
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⬆ RhymesWithOrange 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ That stuff is carbonated gold. I’m on team Ginger Ale.
⬆ SavageGardens 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ Ginger Ale is a fine ambrosia of the Gods, a beverage adjacent to our beloved water, a besparkled and blessed quencher of thirst and provider of relief and wellbeing in our times of greatest need 🫚🍻.
⬆ HatTrickHollzy 1 point • 2 hours ago ⬇ You guys get me. Brb, showing this to my boyfriend.
Edit: He said quote: They are even more boring than you, and I thought that was impossible.
Sorry, guys. I tried.
Boyfriend has given me glasses fetish.
First time I see boyfriend with glasses I am talking to him on Skype. He forgets he is wearing them and did not take off before our call. I did not think glasses turn me on before I see on pretty boyfriend's face, but I am now changed man. My brain short circuit when I see him. When we are together I sometimes hide contact lenses so he has to wear glasses around house. I am also pretend to not be able to read random English so boyfriend have to put on glasses to read to me. I give him books, magazines, paper, cereal box, whatever I can find for him to reading to me. Sadly, is not the end of it. Here is problem: boyfriend also have stunning freckles. I am nuts about them. They are take my breath. Is bad enough to deal with boyfriend's adorable freckles. I cannot focus on anything else when I see them. Now he has adorable glasses too? Is not fair. Boyfriend is too pretty. I cannot concentrate around house anymore. I am fearing cuteness will not end here. What else is he hiding?
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⬆ SheDevilByNight 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ Aww you should tell him.! He'll probably be flattered.
⬆ PamelaManderson 1 point • 9 hours ago ⬇ Seconding this OP. I'd want to know!
⬆ FatherRussia 1 points • 2 hours ago ⬇ No, I do not tell yet. He will use against me to get whatever he want if he know. For now, I keep hiding contacts.
r/unsentletters • Posted by u/HatTrickHollzy 9 hours ago
We didn't even kiss.
You ignored me for six months. I texted you every week for a month but you never replied. You turned my world on its head and then you just left. I hated myself for missing you. I hated my eyes for darting to my phone every time I got a text from someone who turned out not to be you. I hated the way my heart skipped a beat every time I heard your name. I hate you for running your hand down my back tonight. I hate that it made me feel more alive than I have in months. I hate you for following me into the bathroom. I hate that I was hoping you would. I hate that my voice shook when I told you to fuck off. I hate that I would have gotten on my knees for you on that dirty floor if you had just asked me one more time. I hate that you asked me to beg. I hate that I did. I hate that you gave me your room number. I hate that I had it memorized before you even finished talking. I hate that I went. I hate that I didn't even hesitate before knocking on the door. I hate that you didn't touch me. I hate how far away you were sitting the entire time. I hate how easy I was, will always be, for you. Only for you. I hate that I left when you told me to. I hate that you didn't meet my eyes. I hate the sound of the door as it closed. It sounded so much louder than when I was on the other side. I hate that there was a part of me that was still hoping you'd follow me out and call me back in for more. I hate how I would've gone just as willingly, will always go, so long as it's you I'm following. I hate how much I miss you, have missed you, will always miss you. We didn't even kiss. I hate that I didn't have the courage to send that text. I hate that I even care. I hate that I will always answer your call, no matter how much you hurt me, no matter how little you care, because having part of you is still better than not having you at all.
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r/unsentletters • Posted by u/FatherRussia 9 hours ago
What I said
I did not have courage or energy to tell you this over phone in way you could understand. My English still not very good, but am using translator app on phone and hoping it does not butcher words.
my beloved Jane,
I never want to come back here again. I fucking hate it here. And they all fucking hate me. I pay for everything. I make sure everyone has clothes they like. I make sure the food is perfect, that father is buried next to his parents, that the tomb is perfect. And the only fucking word I ever hear is: "I want more, I need more, more, more, more." And I have nothing for these people. I give them everything...but I feel fucking empty. They don't care. They look at me and they see a bank. Or an enemy. Or-- I don't even know what. My brother, he always hated me. And I know why, but it kills me. And it kills me that he took care of my father and I didn't. But I couldn't. I wasn't here. I still paid for all of it. And he will never forgive me. For any of it. For existing. And it means I have no one now. Well, not no one. I have Svetlana. She loves me. And I love her. But not like...Fuck me. But not like I love you. That's the worst fucking part of all this is...that all I want is you. It's always you. I'm so in love with you, and I don't know what to do about it.
I am on my way back home now. You are all I think about. I do not deserve you, but I want you anyway. I am selfish man. I cannot stay away. You are stuck with me for rest of your life. For that I am sorry. I work every day trying to be deserving of you. You are holding my heart in your hands, please try not to break it.
-Your Lily.
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