Chapter Text
You’ve been thinking about this night for weeks. Your favorite band is finally performing in a venue in your home town, at one of the smallest, cheapest venues in the state. You bought a ticket at the office at least two hours earlier than the time the doors were supposed to open. You’d been waiting in line outside all afternoon, baking in the sun. Even though you managed to be first inside, it wasn’t exactly a huge feat. There were barely 100 people in line behind you by the time the doors opened, and not many more trickled in after that.
You passed the bar and the tables, walked down all four risers, and wound up centered right in front of the stage. Your hands gripped the edge of it as you watched the clock count down to show time. You’ve been following Twenty One Pilots online for over a year now, and this is the first time you’ve been able to see them live. You came by yourself. None of your friends are really into the band like you are.
You can’t help the feeling that overwhelms you once the two-piece band walks out on stage. The show felt like your soul had been ripped out and shown to you. The way the singer, Tyler, wailed on the piano and twitched his body like he had demons trying to escape made you feel seen. The drummer, Josh, was power made human. You watched him drum along to the track like he would die if the music stopped.
You had the time of your life during the show. When the two players took their bows, they said they would be selling merchandise at a table near the entrance while everyone was filing out. You realized that the only downside of being first into the venue was that you would be the last out of it.
You moved behind the crowd and took your place in the merch line. Last. You settle in and lean your body to the right, gazing down to the front of the line. You can see them standing behind the table. Tyler runs his hand through his hair as he talks to a guy buying a CD and Josh is signing something for a teenager on the side.
Eventually, after almost the entire crowd has had their turn, the people in front of you leave.
You’re next in line.
You move up in a hurry, then take a small breath to steel your nerves. You don’t see Tyler, but Josh is still standing at the table with a face-splitting grin etched onto his face. You have so much to say to him. Every possibility and question and accolade runs through your mind in a second. You speak through an excited grin.
“Hi.”
Your face turns red immediately. All possible words for a first introduction fly from your brain, and you suddenly feel like this is the first conversation with another person you’ve ever had. You sputter and laugh at yourself in embarrassment.
You try to get your name out through the dumb smile plastered on your face. You hold up a hand with a feeble wave.
“H-hi. It’s so cool to meet you. I’m, like, a huge fan. I’ve been watching you guys online for like a year now, and I can’t believe I’m actually meeting you. I- sorry, I just, um…” You start rambling, and there’s a tremble rising in your voice. You aren’t sure why you’re so nervous. Your mind starts moving faster than your mouth and you start stuttering.
“Hey! I’m Josh! It’s so nice to meet you.” He walks around to the front of the table and holds his hand out. You expect a handshake, but he holds it for longer than anticipated. The usually light gesture felt heavy, meaningful. You look down at your hands and notice how much larger his are than yours. You can feel his callouses pressing into your skin. He gives your hand a firm squeeze and he looks into your eyes. His face is so at-ease, and you get lost in it for a second. You wish his relaxation could bleed into you.
“I- I-you, uh…oh my god.” You can barely form a sentence. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to take a deep breath. “Sorry-”
You get cut off by Josh pulling you into him, his arms wrapping around you, crushing you into a warm hug.
“It’s awesome you came out to see the show.” Josh speaks over your shoulder while he hugs you. He’s warm, and he smells like sweat and heat and some kind of earthy cologne. It surrounds your senses and you get caught off guard for a second, but it’s impossible not to relax into the embrace. It was like he was saying “It’s okay, I get it. It’s just me.” with just his body and breath. He inhales deeply, maybe intentionally, and you match it, wrapping your arms around him a half-inch further. You both exhale together, melting into each other just a bit further, and Josh lets go with a final squeeze. You would think a hug like this from a stranger would be awkward, but it somehow managed to relax you, and you can feel your breath slow and your nerves untangle as you face Josh.
“It was such a great show. You guys are now my favorite band to see live.” You can’t quite meet his eyes, and you laugh through your words a bit. His presence is so much larger than the room, and his energy is so bright you find it hard to look directly at him. You clasp your hands together behind your back and rock on your feet, eyes locked on the floor between the two of you.
Josh rested a hand over his chest. “Aw, I’m glad you liked it. I think I saw you up front, right? That’s a sick spot, I love watching shows front row. You were smiling so big, I think it made me drum harder.” He laughs softly and reaches his hand back to scratch at the back of his neck.
You look up at him and let your eyes really settle on him in his entirety. Your heart stutters a bit. He’s wearing his signature skeleton hoodie with black skinny jeans. You can see the muscles in his shoulders shift as he rocks from side to side on his feet. His faded blue hair was messy and stuck to his forehead a little. He shoves his hands in his pockets, looking around the room.
“So, uh, I’m sorry but, can you do me a favor?” His expression grows apologetic. His brows are furrowed and he’s sucking his bottom lip between his teeth. He looks up at you over a slightly bowed head.
You take a few extra seconds to process what he asked. “Uh-um…yeah, what? What do you need?” Your eyebrows raise in surprise.
He exhales sharply. “Well, I want to keep talking to you since, like, everyone else is gone, but I want to find Tyler. He loves to talk to people that come to our shows and I know he’d be pissed if I get to have a whole conversation with you without him. So, um…” He lets everything out in one breath, speaking rapidly. Nervously. “Can you- would you mind, um, maybe watching the merch table for a sec? You totally don’t have to, like, you can leave if you want. But if you wanted to stay and talk for a bit…uh…yeah.” He punctuates his spiel with a loud exhale.
You freeze. He must trust you, or something about you must seem trustworthy, but you can’t figure out what it is. You just stare in confusion for a beat, before smoothing your expression over. Your eyes remain a little frantic as you search for some kind of joke he might be making, or someone to come tell you that you absolutely are not allowed to be in charge of their source of income. Looking around, however, you realize he’s right. Everyone who was there from the show left, except for two guys who must’ve been their crew packing up a van outside, and a few venue employees.
“Uh… you know what, yeah. Yeah! I can totally watch over your stuff. Do you want me to, like, pack it up or something? I’ve got nowhere to be, so…I mean I would love to talk to you more. And, uh…and Tyler.” You slap yourself internally for adding on the other member of his band like an afterthought. If you’re being honest, you really didn’t care what the circumstances were as long as you could talk to the man in front of you just a bit longer. His performance onstage was so captivating, and in person, he was truly a really nice guy.
And, if you’re being completely honest, he was really nice to look at.
“Oh my god, cool. Thank you…so much. I swear I’ll be right back. You don’t have to, like, do anything if you don’t want to. Just like, don’t let anyone take anything for free. We kinda need the money for gas.” He steps forward and grabs your hand again. You feel your heart skip in your chest, but you ignore it.
“Seriously, thank you so much.” He squeezes your hand and looks at your eyes, flicking back and forth, like he was waiting for you to go back on your agreement. You give him the most reassuring smile you can muster and nod your head once.
“These CDs are in good hands, I promise. I will fight anyone who tries to rip you off. I’m stronger than I look. I got you, for sure.” You squeeze his hand back and let go, lifting your arm to give a soft mock-salute.
Josh stares for a moment before letting out a breathy giggle. “You’re funny, dude. Okay, I guess I’ll, uh, be right back. Bye.” He gives you one last glance, his face etched with disbelief and relief at the same time. He turns quickly and jogs off somewhere backstage.
You take a deep breath and position yourself behind the table, eyes stuck on the door Josh disappeared into.
***
You settled into a folding chair behind the table as you packed everything up into boxes that were shoved underneath. They weren’t labeled, but you did your best to organize it. You found a sharpie and wrote on each box. “CDs”, “Tshirts”, “Stickers” and “Business Cards”, all in bold. You tucked all the boxes back under the table in an attempt to keep them safe so you could check your phone. It was well past midnight. Josh had been gone for nearly 20 minutes. You look around, craning your neck, trying to find any sign of him or Tyler. The only people in the room with you were a janitor and a guy with a shirt that said “SECURITY”. You decide to wave him down.
“Hey, um, do you have any idea where the guys that just played are? They were supposed to come back a little while ago. I don’t want to go look for them and leave their stuff out.” You wring your hands anxiously. The security guard glances around the room.
“Are you with them?” He asks, raising an eyebrow.
You pause, and make a reluctant decision to lie to this man’s face.
“Uh, yeah. I’m their…merch…distributor.” You press your lips together, hoping he doesn’t just throw you outside and lock the door behind you.
He stares at you for a second before relaxing his expression. “Okay. Yeah, they’re backstage right now. I can keep an eye on this stuff if you want to head back to their green room. It’s, like, the only room back there.” He points to the door Josh disappeared into nearly half an hour ago.
“Okay, th-thanks.” You keep your head down as you walk past him, increasing your speed as you approach the door to backstage. You reach down to grab the handle, but you hesitate. You know you don’t belong back there. You said you’d watch the table. You promised Josh. You glance back and see the security guard sitting in the chair behind the table. You look back at the door handle and take a deep breath.
“Okay. Okay, okay, okay.” You whisper to yourself. You turn the door handle and swing the door open. Inside is a small, white hallway, with two rooms on either side. You walk inside slowly, hearing your footsteps echo slightly. You can hear water running as you get closer to the two doors. Following the noise, you see that one room is marked “Restroom/Shower”.
You turn around to find a room marked “Storage”, with a paper taped over it that says “Talent” written in pencil. The door to the storage room is open, and you can see it’s full of stuff. There’s clothing racks along the walls, vanity tables, equipment boxes, and lots of chairs. In the middle is a small couch and two armchairs. There’s an area around a corner towards the back that you can’t quite see, but you assume it’s just more of the same.
You infer that this must be the “green room”, and take a step inside.
“H-hello? Josh? Um, are you h-here?” You call softly, half-hoping that no one answers to avoid the embarrassment. You take a few more hesitant steps inside and approach the sitting area. There’s a coffee table in the middle with a few papers and an unopened veggie tray on top of it. The room is definitely empty. You swing your hands and rock on the balls of your feet for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to do. You check your phone. It’s almost 1:30 in the morning. You sigh.
You turn around to face the doorway, thinking about leaving, when you remember the water running in the bathroom. There’s someone here, but there’s no way you’re going into that bathroom. Josh could be in there. He could be showering.
Fuck. Now you’re thinking about Josh in the shower. Your eyes dart around down the hallway, like the walls could read your mind. Your face heats up, but you shake your head to try and dislodge the thought.
A loud sound startles you, but you barely have time to register what caused it.
The bathroom door swings open, Josh takes about one quick step out the door, and then collides with you. He runs right into you on his way across the hall and you have to catch yourself on whatever you can reach to keep yourself from falling. It just so happens that Josh is what you can reach. You grip onto his upper arms, noticing how warm they are, and bare.
Bare?
Josh is shirtless.
You’re pressed against Josh’s bare chest. Squeezing large biceps for balance. His hands grip your waist, using you to balance himself the same way you were using him. It takes about three seconds before you both realize what happened, and you jump away from each other like it burned to be that close. You stare at each other for a few heartbeats, though you can’t really gauge how long that is because your heart rate has picked up exponentially now that the situation was sinking in.
Josh looks at you like you have two heads. Or like you were in his green room, staring at him shirtless.
“Uh-um…I, uh…w-what are you, uh…why are you here? I-I mean…what?” He narrows his eyes at you, confusion written all over his face. Your mouth may as well be wired open. You can’t think of a way to explain yourself. You can’t think of anything. Nothing swirls around in your mind except how very wet Josh is. He’s dripping water from his hair, his shoulder, his chest…his abs…
You snap your eyes back up to his face, realizing you’ve been staring at him for at least 20 seconds. You close your mouth and open it again.
“I-I um…I was uh, l-looking for you, and…um…” You have to squeeze your eyes shut to focus on getting any words out in an intelligible fashion. Your hand comes up to pinch the bridge of your nose. You can’t even focus on how hot your face is.
“You said you’d be back, and then you weren’t, and the security guy said you were-” Your eyes widen. “Th-the security guard, he’s watching the merch! I didn’t leave it, I swear. I packed it up and made sure he would watch it while I looked for you. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t know you’d, um, I guess I should’ve figured you’d be in the…shower.” You lean limply against the doorframe and grip your hand over your mouth, just willing yourself to shut up.
Josh was still staring at you. He either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care that he is standing (and dripping) half-naked in the hallway. His mouth is slightly open, his hands still extended in a surrender, frozen from when you pushed off of each other. He seems to snap back into consciousness when a soft thunk sound comes from the bathroom. His eyes dart around for a second, and then he takes a sharp, deep breath.
“Okay. Um…okay. It-it’s fine. I guess I was gone for a long time. I’m…I’m really sorry. Just, uh, here. Come in here.” He walks past you into the green room, making a beeline for a clothing rack. He yanks a t-shirt off a hanger and throws it on (over his soaking wet torso, you notice). He’s slightly out of breath, his chest rising and falling quickly. He stands for a second in the middle of the room, hands out, like he’s caught between objectives. Eventually, he settles for walking up to you. You’ve been standing by an armchair, watching him silently.
He walks up to you quickly, and you jump when he lightly grabs each of your arms, caging you in his glare. He sighs and searches your face.
“Okay. So, I won’t be mad, but…how did you get back here? The security is supposed to, like, stop you. From doing that. Just be honest.” His eyes won’t leave yours, and it melts away any ideas you have about lying.
“I, uh, told him that I’m your…merch…distributor…?” You phrase it like a question, slightly cringing away from Josh’s gaze.
Josh’s grip on your arms loosens. He scoffs and drags a hand down his face.
“Y-you what? Merch distributor? That’s…that’s not even a thing. You totally made that up! You lied to that giant security guard to get back here? To find me?” His voice stayed twinged in disbelief, but when you look up, you can see the corners of his mouth curling upward. His face splits into a grin.
Josh’s laugh startles you. A loud, sharp sound, which melts into high-pitched giggles, and in a moment Josh is bent over, wheezing. He braces his hands onto his knees in front of you, genuinely losing it.
You stare in shock. Not only did you just totally invade his space, but you basically pressed yourself against his bare chest not five minutes ago. And he’s laughing. Muscles that you didn’t even realize were tensed start to relax, and you smile wide enough to hurt your cheeks. You snort despite yourself, slapping your hand over your mouth again.
“I-I’m really sorry. Like, really really sorry, man. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay because you said you’d be right back. Everyone’s like, gone. The place is totally empty.” You start laughing through your words. Josh stands up straight, wiping a tear from his eyes, still laughing softly. You throw your hands up in defeat. “Did you, uh…did you find Tyler?”
Josh nods and flicks his gaze toward the bathroom door. “Yeah. Yeah he was in the shower.” His smile fades. Worry takes over his face and he starts fidgeting with his hands. “Listen, I’m really sorry, for, uh, bumping into you like that. Totally not cool. Usually I buy somebody dinner before I hug them shirtless in a random hallway.” His eyes move down to the floor.
You reach out to rest your hand on his arm instinctually, trying to reassure him. It’s not lost on you how you’re touching him again, for the third time in less than an hour. His forearm is still damp.
“Hey, it wasn’t your fault. I was not supposed to be there. I’m sorry. Really it was just the end of a long line of stupid decisions.” You smile at him as he looks back up to you, glancing briefly at your hand on his arm.
“I don’t think it was a stupid decision for you to come back here.” Josh says softly, more to himself than to you. His eyes are searching your face, and all the laughter between the two of you dies. Josh flinches like someone just snapped their fingers in this face, and his expression falls back into a reflexive smile and warm eyes.
“Uh…I-I’m just stoked you didn’t leave. You can, like, stay as long as you want. I know it’s late, but if you want to…” Josh scratches the back of his neck. It takes you a second to realize he’s asking you to stay.
“Yeah!” You reply too enthusiastically. “Uh-um, yeah. For sure, I’d love to stay for a bit.” You give a shy smile, and Josh answers with a huge, toothy grin.
“Awesome.”