Chapter Text
“So! How's that for your first mission!?” Riyo stared back at you with a smile, nudging at your side, “Crazy shit, huh?”
You gave her a weak smile, “Crazy… fuckin' insane, actually.” You breathed out, your eyes tracing the vast desert you called home.
It had been just shy of a month since you were recruited to the cleaners, though with the amount of time you spent at the base, it felt like a year. Days and days went by with training, falling, getting hurt, training and more falling and this truly felt like the first time you were confident enough in your abilities.
You continued to stare out the window of the jeep, eyelids heavy. All you wanted was to crawl into your bed and sleep for a week, but you were so accustomed to the way they worked that you knew the sleep would only last a few hours.
“Y'know I think you were pretty great, ‘specially for your first time.” Your other counterpart, Enjin, smiled back at you from the driver's seat.
“Don't flatter me… I fucked up major on getting its one leg off.” You sighed.
“Oh come on! It was impressive!” Riyo barked, “Better than Enjin’s first day that's for sure!”
“Yeah I better not hear shit from you Riyo, y'know, on her first mission she-”
Riyo smacked the back of his head, rolling her eyes. “Don't listen to him, he's just jealous that I took down a trash beast alone on my first try.” She laughed, resting her head on the headrest.
You smiled in response, your eyes meeting Enjin’s as the two of you laughed quietly. Even back at the base, this was the dynamic, for mostly everyone. Enjin teased anyone he could, because he could, especially you, he always told you it was to “toughen you up” but you figured it was just his weird way of showing he cares.
Closer, you came up to the entrance of the base and you couldn't wait to have at least a night's worth of rest. The car halted and the three of you got out, slowly making your way inside.
You gave a small wave to Semiu and quickly ducked down the hall to your room. You had to be fast, because the likeliness of someone trying to get you to do something was high and you didn't want to risk having to do anything else.
“Yo, y/n-” Enjin
You froze, turning your head slightly, “Yeah…?”
“C’mere, I just wanna talk to you for a sec.” He ushered for you to follow him down the opposite hall. You groaned, of course he needed you, you just prayed that it wasn't another mission. You followed him down the hall into an empty room, waiting as he shut the door behind him.
“So, how’d you think you did?” He asked.
“Uh… well… to be honest, not the greatest…” you mumbled.
“Mhm… go on.” He crossed his arms in front of him, leaning against the wall.
“I just… I don't know, I know it was my first time but I just figured that I'd get it done quicker.” You frowned, staring up at him.
“I mean yeah, I'm not gonna lie, I know you could've.” He smiled, “but… as you said, it was your first time… you'll get quicker the more you’re out, y'know?”
You nodded in response as you bit the inside of your cheek, he really was being too nice about it, hell, he was always too nice to you about everything. You thought about how he was with Rudo when he was brought in, sure, he was nice but he was more strict than anything and that's all you wanted. It felt like a game, like he was almost too confident in you, which made you feel like the both of you weren't taking this seriously.
“I guess…” you kept your eyes away from him, fiddling with the hem of your shirt.
“C’mon, don't beat yourself up too much, I don't want you quittin’ on me.” He tilted his head down towards you, and your face grew hot.
You had to admit, the few times that the two of you were alone together, it made you feel a different type of nervous. Riyo constantly made remarks that he favoured you and that's why he wasn't hard on you, but you shook it off every time. The thought of him feeling that type of way, especially now, with how close he was to you, made you want to curl up and die, but not in a bad way. Moreso, in a “there's no way this is happening because it's me” type of way.
“You okay?” He asked, waving his hand in front of your face.
You snapped out of your daze and nodded, “Mhm, yeah… just tired.” You mumbled.
“Well, go rest, I won't keep you here-” His eyes fixated on yours, making your stomach flip, “-unless you want me to.” Your eyes widened as he opened the door with a laugh. “I'm kidding, go rest, you did good today.”
You gave him a weak smile as you squeezed past him, once again making your way to your room.
2am.
You rolled onto your back, pissed off at yourself that you were still awake. Usually, it was easy for you to fall asleep, but tonight you felt as if you were on drugs. You couldn't sleep, you couldn't even rest, your mind just raced with a million different thoughts, especially from that fucking mentor of yours. Admittedly, you never had any type of thought about him, it wasn't until recently that you noticed his behaviour around you.
-
"You realize he's only ever like this with you, right?” Riyo whispered, her focus being on her scissors as she cleaned them gently.
“Huh?”
“He's only ever not strict with you.”
“Oh come on, you look too much into shit.”
“I'm serious!” She huffed, “he fuckin’ worships you or something… like, I figured he'd be like that with little wonder boy Rudo, but he treats you like he treats his vital instrument.”
She wasn't wrong and that's what made you look too much into it. Any time there was something around the base that required either too much work, stamina or attention, he'd never assign it to you. Any time there was training, he'd never go too hard on you, or, he'd just let Riyo help and watch you.
You rolled on your side, remembering that a few weeks ago, Zanka made the exact same comment that Riyo had.
“He treats you like his instrument, I don't get it.”
They had to be fucking with you, there's absolutely no way Enjin would be doing this because he thought about you in some type of way. You were still new, he was probably like this with a lot of people. He probably figured you were too nervous, or still trying to get used to how things worked around here, right?
There was a small knock at your door and you jumped up, rushing to it to open it.
“Enjin?”
“Sorry… I didn't know if you were awake or not.” He seemed concerned as he leaned himself in your doorway.
“Uh- yeah… I can't really sleep… is… everything okay?” You asked.
"Yeah… um… I-I just forgot to give this to you.”
He handed you a small leather holster, the one he mentioned from a few weeks ago. You had completely forgotten about the fact that he was going to get you something to hold your instrument, so you were relieved that he had remembered.
“I honestly forgot about it.” You laughed as you examined it.
“Not gonna lie, me too…” he smiled, “it's been in my room for weeks and I only just remembered now, sorry.”
“No, it's okay! Thank you…” you trailed off, smiling up at him.
“Yeah.. um, so here if you just press that-” he gently grabbed at your hand and pressed it onto the front, “- it'll open it… I dunno how August does it, but it should be good for you”
His hand is so warm.
You nodded slightly, your hand still underneath his. It was something you were used to, his touchiness, not that it was with you only, but even though you were used to it, in this moment it felt different. You tried to be coy, with the way you looked up at him, but your eyes immediately met his. His gaze hadn't left you since he got here, but this was the first time you had actually noticed it. It felt as if he was devouring you, his eyes, almost hypnotic with the way he stared into yours.
“Thanks again…” You smiled weakly, pulling your hand away.
“Of course… if you, uh, need anything else… just lemme know, yeah?”
You nodded, your opposite hand still on the door, though he wasn't moving. You didn't know what else to say or do, it's not like you were going to sleep, so, you bit your lip and opened the door a bit more.
“I’m… probably not… gonna sleep… do you-” Your body started to shake from nerves, “- wanna come in?”
He raised his eyebrows and smiled with a nod, “yeah… I mean, if you want…” his tone was almost anxious.
You nodded again as you made your way back into the room, sitting and leaning yourself on your headboard. Enjin followed after you, sitting himself at the edge of your bed. You noticed the door was cracked open slightly, a curious move on his part. The two of you sat in silence for a moment before you finally mustered up the courage to say something.
“Why do you always go so easy on me?” You asked.
“Huh?” He looked back at you.
“I feel like you go too easy on me… compared to everyone else.” You mumbled, hugging your legs to your chest.
“I- um… do I? I don't… try to.” He looked away, scratching at his arm.
“I just… I feel like… you don't actually trust me with stuff…”
He stared at you wide eyed, "Absolutely not, I trust you with a lot of shit, I wouldn't have wanted you out on the field if I didn't.”
You bit your lip, “I don't know… Riyo said-”
“Riyo can be full of it sometimes.” He laughed.
“She just… I don't know.”
“No, tell me.” He pestered, leaning back against his elbow.
“She…” you sighed, “... made a comment the other day about how you treat me like Umbreaker sometimes.”
Enjin stared back at you, smiling at your comment,“Yeah, like I said, she can be full of it.” He laughed nervously, eyes averting yours. Ypu noticed he was really bad at hiding how he was feeling and you knew from his reaction, Riyo was absolutely right.
“I just… I don't want to disappoint anyone…”
“No- no, trust me, you're far from that, y/n.
“Then why aren't you stricter?"
"Y/n, it's not like that, believe me."
"But you-"
Swiftly, Enjin sat up and moved himself closer to you, resting his hand on your leg, his face inches away from yours.
“Why do you want me to go hard on you?” He asked.
You leaned back a bit as your breath hitched and you dropped your legs, allowing him to lean closer into you.
“I- um… I-”
“Because I can be harder on you… if that's what you really want…”
“W-Well… I- um…”
“I mean…” his hand squeezed at your skin, “I… I'll only ever do what you want… I don't want you getting hurt, y'know?"
Your entire body felt like jelly, you were too aware of what he was doing, how his touch felt on your skin, you didn't know what to do but you didn't want him to stop.
“I…”
“Tell me… what you want.” He whispered, leaning closer to you.
“I just… I-I want…”
“I'd do anything… just tell me, please.”
What was this sudden change? He sounded pathetic, like he was desperate for validation or confirmation from you.
“Please.” He persisted.
“I just… want… y-you to be stricter w-with me…” you breathed, watching as his hand slid up to your thigh.
“Stricter?”
You nodded.
“Mm… I'll try…” he sighed as he leaned back and stood up, “Y’know… I do hate to admit when Riyo’s right…” his voice low as he made his way back to the door, shooting you a smile before he left, leaving you alone in the dark, pulse racing.