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"Right, that's it. I give up."
"It's looking good, though! You almost just got it."
Friday evening found Heath and Daisy in Studio One. Rehearsal had been long but they were still there, the both of them smiling slightly, light blushes across their cheeks.
Daisy was working on a flip combo she'd been trying to land for the past few weeks, and it just so happened that a certain boyfriend of hers was a master at it.
So, here they were, him sitting on one of the fancy cushioned seats, holding her water bottle, and her on the floor, panting slightly with a small sheen of sweat on her forehead. She was clearly tired, but he was doing his best to motivate her.
"Do you actually give up, or you just saying that?" Heath raised an eyebrow with a certain amusement. She'd been saying she was giving up for the past twenty minutes and still hadn't.
"Very funny," Daisy rolled her eyes, heading over to him and holding out a hand. He passed her her water without another word and watched her take a swig from it, completely mesmerised by her.
She was just standing there, but somehow even then he was able to find the beauty in it. Those two strands of hair she always had out were slightly messed up from the hours she'd spent dancing today, and even though they were both exhausted her eyes seemed to sparkle as she looked at him, putting the bottle down at his feet, pausing for a second as her head hovered just above his, staring him in the eyes.
"You were right," she said, looking down. "I don't give up."
He felt butterflies explode in his stomach at her closeness, staring up at her like she was his entire world and more.
"No," he told her, a small smirk on his face as one of his hands came up to brush her strands of hair out of her face, softly touching her skin in the process. "You never do."
Daisy giggled slightly and rolled her eyes, trying not to blush hard at the feeling of his hands touching her skin that softly, that carefully. She savoured the feeling before his hand left her cheek, sighing and looking down.
"Right, I'm trying again," said, withdrawing her face from being anywhere near his (because otherwise he'd distract her) and facing the mirror.
Heath nodded, smiling slightly. "Come on. You can do it."
It was small moments like this, being in the studio with her after everyone else had left, helping her get a trick he knew so they could synchronise in duets, that he really savoured about their relationship.
(He was having so much fun he didn't notice his phone, which was lying in his discarded bag across the room, exploding with texts and calls. He wouldn't notice this until much later).
"Urgh!" Daisy groaned as she once again managed the landing but stumbled and almost fell on it.
"That was way better than last time," Heath commented, smiling slightly.
"You're just flattering me," Daisy told him, shaking her head. Her tone was teasing, though. Not hollow.
"What? No I'm not," her boyfriend instantly replied.
"Hmm," Daisy hummed slightly, sighing as she set herself up to do it again.
This time, she managed to stick the landing, but missed out the last part of the combo. She rolled her eyes and batted her hair out her eyes, saying exasperatedly. "Can you come over here and do it? I need to see what it looks like again."
(That was part of the reason. About seventy percent, she'd say. The other thirty was more to do about how well he could execute it and how he flexed his muscles during it. She would never admit to watching this).
She kept her eyes glued to him as he demonstrated the trick, seeing what she'd missed and knowing what to fix.
"You see?" He asked, raising his eyebrows after he'd finished.
Daisy shrugged, saying. "I'll try it again and we'll find out, I guess."
He smiled slightly. He'd be happy to sit down and watch her practice for the rest of the night, honestly. As long as he was spending time with her, he didn't care what they were doing.
Being in love with her came as easily to him as breathing. He never wanted to be without her again, and hoped that whatever future he had he was lucky enough to have her in it. Pete kept making jokes about them announcing their wedding any day now, and even though Heath would never propose to her at the moment or anything, he could only hope the future held that for them.
"You even watching, Heathcliff?"
He snapped out his trance to see Daisy grinning at him from across the studio, doing that stupid thing where she fluttered her hands under her chin (it wasn't stupid, it was the cutest thing he'd ever seen).
"Yeah," he said, trying to hide the fact he'd been daydreaming about marrying her someday. "Hit me."
"Be careful what you wish for," Daisy joked, raising a hand in a mocking way. Heath laughed too, and shook his head. She didn't even have to do anything and it would put a smile on his face.
"Come on," he told her, shaking his head, gesturing to the floor. "I've got a good feeling about this one."
"Hm, of course," Daisy nodded, shrugging as she readied herself.
And she didn't know whether it was the 'good feeling' he'd had, or whether it was her determination, or what it was, but in that moment, as she did the trick, she managed to land it and stick it.
"Oh my god!" She grinned, turning to him with her face all lit up in a way he absolutely adored. She rushed over to him and he was there, standing up to catch her as they hugged, spinning her round like an idiot.
"That was amazing, baby!" He told her as he let her go, lifting a hand up to hi five that she quickly reciprocated with.
(She'd never admit it, but she loved it when he called her baby. It made her heart flutter and her face feel hot, and she'd honestly never felt more cared for when she heard him address her like that).
Their hands met in the middle, slapping together as their fingers intertwined. Daisy stared up at him, eyes so bright and warm and expression so open, to find him already staring back at her.
Only difference was, his gaze wasn't focused purely on her eyes. It kept flickering just slightly downwards towards her lips.
Their hands fell apart as they leaned in and he opted to wrap his arms around her waist instead, pulling her body close to his. One of his fingers made contact with the exposed skin between her slightly cropped tank top and joggers and he felt as if he was on fire, pure longing bursting through him.
As they separated, Daisy smiled widely at him, her cheeks flushed. "Thank you," she murmured, biting her lip. "That means a lot."
Heath nodded, already leaning back in, wanting, needing another taste of her lips, grabbing her waist even closer-
"Heathcliff!"
Heath and Daisy jumped apart, eyes both going wide when they saw someone standing in the doorway. Their cheeks both flushed red when they saw it was Heath's mom Victoria, panting slightly.
"Mom, wha...?" Heath fell silent at the sight of her face.
She was crying.
Her eyes were puffy and red, and her hands were shaking. She looked dishevelled and distraught, and as Heath stared at her he began to realise that something was very, very wrong.
So many emotions shot through him. Confusion, because he still didn't know what was going on. Anger, at whatever was making his mom, one of the most important women in his life, cry like this. And guilt. Because whilst she'd been going through whatever was happening he'd been doing nothing more than having fun with his girlfriend.
"Mom, what's going on?" He asked desperately, aware of Daisy next to him, breathing hard.
"You need to come with me," said his mom, another tear running down her face. "You need to come with me, Heath, right n-"
"What's going on?" Heath repeated, unable to hear anything but his mom's voice and his own heartbeat, thumping in his ears. "Mom-"
"Daisy, we can drop you off on the way-"
"Mom, please just-"
"We have to go, we have to-"
"Mom!" Heath yelled, the severity and firmness in his tone making her stop talking, her eyes flying to his. "What. Is going. On?"
She stared at him for a second, shaking her head, clutching her chest as more sobs wracked her chest.
And then she said those three little words that put Heath close to breaking.
"It's your grandmother."
-
Growing up as the youngest child, Heath had found that his elder brother and sister had already sort of 'claimed' a parent each.
It wasn't like his parents didn't love him, because they definitely did. It was just that his elder sister Olivia was their mom all over, and knew her so well, and that his elder brother Chris was way more assimilated with their dad, who was quieter, like him.
But Heath hadn't minded at all.
Because the parental figure he'd been closest with had been his grandmother, Katherine.
When he'd been growing up, his granny had lived just down the road from him, and he'd always gone over to her house, pretty much ever since he'd been able to walk.
She was one of the kindest souls he'd ever met, no question. She was so nice to him and everyone else around her, she always did a bunch of homemade cooking and baking for him, she hung up the awful drawings he did at six years old and told him he'd be an amazing artist one day, if that's what he chose to do.
She watched the stupid dance shows he put on in the living room and was the one clapping and cheering the loudest.
When the alzheimer's had been diagnosed when Heath was fourteen, he'd sobbed into his mom's arms. He sobbed even harder when it had been announced she was needing to be moved into an assisted living centre one hour away. He hadn't been ready to not see her as often as he wanted. He hadn't been ready to watch his granny slowly forget who he was.
It had been hard.
Sometimes, when he went to the centre, she knew who he was. Sometimes she was up for a chat.
And sometimes she didn't, and just sat there blankly as he tried to speak. He'd unashamedly cried in front of her more than once, begging her to see him, to recognise him.
It had been a tough journey.
But he'd never imagined it would end this soon.
-
A heart attack.
A heart attack. So freaking simple, yet so cruel.
When his mom first said those two words, the boy had completely shut down.
Granny Katherine couldn't have had a heart attack. It just wasn't possible.
The last time he'd seen her was a month ago, and he remembered it well. It hadn't been a good day. He'd sat by her bedside and begged her to recognise him, tears in his eyes. She still hadn't seen him.
Now, sat in the car, body rigid and ears ringing, all he could think about was that.
Possibly the last time he'd speak to her.
According to his mom, she was still alive, but barely. The heart attack had taken almost everything from her and there was no chance of her recovering.
So he was riding towards the hospital to give her a final goodbye.
He barely remembered Daisy basically supporting his body and sitting him down in the car, holding him tight and whispering that it was going to be okay. Normally, her touch could break him out of a the deepest sleep. Today, though, it barely roused him.
When his mom dropped her off he'd clung to her, unable to think of words but wanting her to stay close to him. He wasn't sure if he could do this without her.
She'd pressed a long kiss to his cheek and then met his eyes. He didn't have any words, and so just stared at her as she shook her head, murmuring. "I can't go with you, Heath, I'm so sorry."
His throat was hoarse and he was unable to speak for a second, swallowing and saying. "Daisy-"
His voice broke as she pulled him into a hug, tears appearing in her own eyes.
"I love you," she whispered into his ear. "I love you so much, okay?"
He nodded into her, pressing his fingers into the back of her hoodie, needing her body closer to his. Maybe if he tried hard enough they'd become one person, and he'd be able to get the courage and determination he admired so much from her.
He didn't say he loved her back. But she didn't need him to.
When he finally distangled himself from her she left another short kiss on his forehead before rushing indoors, leaving Heath alone in the back of the car with his mom driving fast to the hospital in the front.
He didn't want to arrive, but at the same time he did. He wanted to say goodbye, but at the same time he didn't.
His legs shook when they finally arrived, and his mom held his arm as they rushed inside. She was teary, as well, but he could tell she was trying to stay strong for him. This was her mom, though. It was going to hurt her as well.
"Listen," she said, her voice shaking slightly as they reached the doors of the ward. "When I left her, she... she wasn't in a good way. She may have-"
"No," Heath muttered, shaking his head and looking down, jaw firmly clenched. "No, she wouldn't. She isn't."
But life wasn't like a fairytale.
And happily every after was not how this tale was going to end.
-
He didn't remember how he got to the room.
He didn't remember what his mom had said to the doctor.
But he remembered the look on the man's face.
And he remembered the way he shook his head.
He remembered rushing for the door and being stopped by a nurse, who shook her head.
"I'm sorry but we can't allow you to enter right now. We're still running tests and-"
"No, let me in!" Heath wasn't aware he was shouting as he tried to shove her out the way, tears now streaming down his face as he realised once and for all what had happened. "Let me in! LET ME IN!"
"Young man you have to calm down-"
"-I HAVE TO SEE H-"
"-there's nothing you can do, you have to stop-"
"Heath, stop!"
His mom's touch was different to the nurse trying to restrain him. It reminded him of her. His granny.
It broke him in a way nothing else could.
He was screaming and crying and sobbing but suddenly he wasn't fighting anymore, falling into her and shaking his head, his hands coming up to cover his face as his mom's arms encircled him.
"Heath... Heath, it's okay," she whispered into him, sighing.
It wasn't.
It wasn't okay for either of them.
His grandmother was one of the kindest souls in this entire world and she'd been taken from him. She'd been taken from him like every other good thing he had, like every other good thing he owned right now was going to be.
As he collapsed against the wall, throat hoarse and eyes bloodshot, he realised fully that she was gone.
And felt his heart break into a million pieces along with it.
-
Looking back on it a week later, he wished the nurses didn't allow him into the room to say goodbye.
Katherine had been lying on the bed, eyes shut and skin ghostly pale. Seeing her like that, so lifeless, made Heath almost throw up. His head spun as his eyes locked onto her, shaking his head.
He'd told her he loved her. He'd told her he was sorry.
He didn't remember saying anything else.
Now, one week later, and he'd barely left his room. His mom had phoned Eldon and Michelle at the studio at some point and explained the situation. A-Troupe had all texted him individually to check in on him. He hadn't replied to any of their messages.
His grief was large, and loomed over him like a black cloud. The funeral was in a week, and he already knew he wasn't ready for it. He couldn't say goodbye.
Because he couldn't stop feeling like this was his fault.
He hadn't gone to see her in a month before it happened, after all. He'd had plenty of chance to try again, to make her remember him like she hadn't the last time, and he hadn't done so.
And now, as he lay in his room with red eyes and a sad face, he couldn't escape that mentality.
And as his phone buzzed beside his head, he didn't want to ever answer it again.
daisy🌼💓👯♀️: hey, i've just been to cha cha's
daisy🌼💓👯♀️: i got u a mint choc chip milkshake
daisy🌼💓👯♀️: disgusting flavour 🙄
daisy🌼💓👯♀️: pete's giving me a lift over, u don't have to speak to us but i'm going to give this to u
Heath felt something within him break as he scrolled back through their texts in the past week. The day after it had all gone down she'd texted him checking up on him, and she'd continued that for the rest of the week.
He'd replied a total of one times.
And it had only been two words, which he was staring at right now.
me: she's gone.
Daisy was the best person he'd ever known.
His granny was the second.
If he couldn't even be there for her and actually properly care about her, then what was he going to do to Daisy when she needed him in the future?
He was going to hurt her. He knew he was. There was no possible reality on this earth where he didn't hurt her like he'd hurt so many others. All his old teammates, Pascale, his grandmother.
And he couldn't hurt her. Because if he hurt her, he wasn't sure he'd ever be able to forgive himself.
Nevertheless, he knew trying to tell her not to bother with the milkshake was a stupid idea, and he also knew she and Pete wouldn't stop until they got it to him.
So, slowly, he got out of bed and put a hoodie on over his thin t-shirt, looking at himself in the mirror briefly to see slightly puffy eyes and messy hair.
Neither of them would care. He did, but he didn't have enough time to fix it.
When he heard the car outside he went to the window first, not the door. He watched as Pete got out the driver's side. And then he saw Daisy get out the passenger one.
God, she was so beautiful. And she was holding that goddamn mint milkshake (which was his favourite flavour), her face a weird mixture of sadness and trepidation.
(Tepidation because of him. Because she wasn't sure what he was going to do to her. The thought made him sick).
He heard the knock on the door and then his mom was letting them inside.
"Daisy, Pete, it's so good to see you," she sounded tired, but she was trying to be happy for them.
"Hey," Pete and Daisy said at the same time.
"We brought this," Pete said, and Heath presumed he was referring to some sort of food, because his mom chuckled slightly before accepting it.
"Thank you very much," she said to them. "How are you two doing? Is dance going well?"
"Yeah," Daisy's voice sounded sad. Heath just knew he was the reason for it.
Nevertheless, his need to see her face along with hearing her voice won over his need to not hurt her, and he felt one of his feet travelling in front of the other as he headed down the stairs.
Pete, his mom and Daisy all looked at him as he came downstairs. Daisy's eyes were the only ones he felt though.
Her eyes lit up in a way he used to find adorable as she saw him, despite the sad look still remaining there. Now, he just found it scary. She loved him so much. And he didn't deserve it at all.
"Hey, Heathcliff," she said, her lips forming a small, somewhat sad smile as she held up the milkshake cup. "I got you mint. I know it's your favourite flavour."
He took it from her, avoiding making contact with her hand in the process. He knew touching her would send sparks through him, but that was the problem. If he touched her, he'd just taint her even more than he already had.
"Are you alright, bro?" Pete's voice turned his attention from his girlfriend to his best friend, who was looking at him with an expression of sadness and concern.
Heath looked down, unable to reply but also needing to somehow convince him he was okay.
"Yeah," he said, mustering up the best fake smile he could. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Daisy smiled slightly, but he could tell she didn't believe him. She knew him, after all, just as well as he knew her. There was no hiding stuff with her.
"He's going to try and come back to the studio next week, aren't you?" His mom spoke, her own voice stilted.
"Yeah," Heath looked down.
He wouldn't be able to dance after this, he knew it. But his mom was going to start thinking something was seriously wrong if he didn't go back.
After about five seconds of silence, Pete turned to Daisy, saying. "Well, we should probably head out, but... we'll see you soon, okay? And, uh... we're sorry. Again."
His mom smiled slightly. "Thank you."
Heath hadn't meant to make eye contact with Daisy as they left.
But she clearly meant to make eye contact with him.
The art of being in love was often shown in the eyes, and Daisy's eyes were no exception. They showed concern, and sadness, and a small hint of pity. And they made Heath feel horrible all over again.
(He failed to see that shutting her out was hurting her more than letting her in and risking the fact that she could get hurt. He failed to see how much she loved him because he didn't think he deserved it).
'I love you,' was all her eyes were saying. 'Please let me in.'
His eyes said one word back.
'No.'
-
The first day back was awful.
He couldn't do anything without thinking of the grandmother that used to watch him dance and tell him he was gonna be a star one day. He couldn't dance in time with everyone else or speak to anyone about what was wrong.
He was a beat behind everyone else when he was usually the one with the most energy. Izzy asked him to do a flip and he just about collapsed.
By the end of it he was basically rushing out of the studio to his sister's car. Olivia was in town for the funeral, and had offered to give him a lift to the studio and home because he wasn't in the mood to drive.
"Heath! Heath!"
However, he barely made it two paces before Daisy was accosting him, holding his arm and pulling him back.
Heath felt his skin burn at the touch, but a good kind of burn. He wanted more. He wanted to collapse into her and allow her to comfort him, he wanted to tell her his fears and have her reassure him.
But he couldn't do that.
Because if he did that, he'd be allowing her in. And it would only damn her in the end.
"Hey," he said, drawing his arm away from her. He didn't make eye contact with her deliberately, opting to look just above her beautiful brown eyes. He felt his eyes skim over her rosy cheeks and her slightly dishevelled hair (that he wanted to brush away from her face), but never her eyes.
She sighed, stepping slightly closer to him. "I'm not going to tell you to open up to me, or that I think you should talk to me or anyone really," she declared, taking a deep breath. "But I will tell you that I miss you. Like, a lot."
It took everything within him not to start crying.
He was doing this to protect her, didn't she see? She couldn't miss him. He was doing this because if she got too close he'd mess her up, and he couldn't do that to her.
Losing his grandmother had really been the final straw in all this. He was drowning in guilt and grief and instead of accepting her hand to pull him out of it he was going to let her and everyone else go.
He just had to.
So it was that he made eye contact with Daisy right then, making his tone as cold as he possibly could as he spoke to her.
"No," he shot back, venom laced in the word. "No, you don't."
And then he was walking past her, unable to look at the shock and sadness and anger all forming on her face.
It was better this way, he told himself.
This way, she was safe.
-
The funeral was better than he'd thought it was going to be.
Loads of fake people didn't show up. Everyone who was there had known his granny and loved her dearly.
Well, aside from two people.
And those were Pete and Daisy.
He hadn't expected them to show up. Pete had texted him saying they were going to, and he hadn't replied. When he'd seen them, he had felt dazed and angry and sad all at once.
Daisy's hair was down, and she was wearing a black dress that hugged her body perfectly. He'd never seen it before. It had taken everything within him not to go over to her and tell her she looked beautiful, but then he'd turned and seen pictures of his granny and he'd realised why he was actually here.
They hadn't spoken at all since that day he'd snapped at her. He didn't blame her. Who would want to be involved with him anyways?
But seeing her there, at the funeral, dressed something that made his mouth go dry, he realised he hadn't been clear enough.
He was in love with her. He knew it, and he used to tell her so often.
It had now been a month since those words had been uttered from his mouth. It didn't mean he didn't still feel it, though.
The ceremony was fine. He didn't make a speech, owing to the fact that he didn't think he could remain upright for the entire length of one if he was stood in front of that audience. Sure, he was a dancer. But this wasn't dancing. It was different.
He didn't speak to Daisy or Pete, and kept his distance. He was trying to process everything, and them being there wasn't helping. He still didn't understood why they cared so much.
He didn't want to speak to Daisy. Didn't want to see her sad eyes or beautiful face right in front of him because it would make him break and he'd confess everything. And he couldn't put that on her. He loved her way too much to allow her to deal with that.
By the end of the whole thing he was silently victorious in his efforts to avoid them.
Well, that was until Pete basically tripped him up in the corridor outside the hall.
"You need to stop this."
His voice was harsher than Daisy's had been. More cynical. His best friend wasn't always for the 'tough love' type of speeches but it appeared that he was done with Heath by now. Heath didn't understand why he didn't just leave and get away from him.
"Stop what?" He replied, fighting to keep his voice steady.
"Listen, I'm sorry," Pete stepped forwards, his tone filled with concern. "I'm sorry that all this happened to you, but let me tell you that I have experience with this, and you know it."
Heath did know it. Pete's grandfather died back before Internationals, just before the whole debacle with Daisy being sabotaged. Heath had been the one to try and prompt him out his shell back then.
But that was different. Pete was a good person. He hadn't done anything terrible and he was nice to everyone around him. He wasn't a problem like Heath was.
"I'm not saying I understand what you're going through, but I am saying that that girl in there cares so much about you. And I'm not gonna stand by as you push her away all because you're hurting."
But that was the problem! How didn't anyone see that? Daisy didn't just care, she cared too much. And if she started to care too much about him then all she was doing was getting herself hurt.
So again, Heath found himself speaking in that harsh voice. The one that wasn't him, but was becoming one of his traits.
(Good, he thought bitterly. It'll keep them away).
"Tell her to stop caring," he snapped, his voice flat.
Pete stared at him, eyes wide, shaking his head. He took a deep breath, sighing and saying. "Heath, I don't think I could get her to stop caring if I took her to mars."
Heath wanted to scream.
Couldn't they all just leave? He didn't deserve to have people checking in on him. He'd deserted his granny and his neglect had meant he hadn't been able to say goodbye to her. He felt like he was fighting a battle, running from everyone who cared about him.
He just wished they would stop.
"I'm not going to force you to speak to her," said Pete, a final word to him. "But I need you to know that I'm not leaving, and neither is Daisy. You have to come to terms with that."
As he left Heath felt the physical blow to his chest.
But he didn't waver in his decisions.
-
It had been a month since the funeral.
Two months since her death.
A month, and he was still stuck in this stupid graveyard, sitting next to this stupid gravestone, speaking to thin air.
It was a cold one, that day. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were red, and he was speaking to the stone like it was real.
"I, uh... I still haven't spoken to her," he sighed, looking down even though nobody was looking at him. "She keeps trying. She texts me every once in a while and, I mean, technically we're still dating, but... that's just because I can't bring myself to end it."
He was crying now, tears leaking out his eyes and down his face.
"I'm sorry," he whispered to the stone, shaking his head and running a hand down his face. "I'm sorry f-for not trying harder, for not being able to say goodbye."
The only time he ever saw Daisy these days was at the studio, and she still tried to get back to him. She still tried to speak to him, she still tried to dance with him, she still tried to be with him.
He didn't know why pushing her away hadn't worked. Why hadn't she just left already? He was no good for her, surely she had realised that.
Dancing had got easier. He was still good at it, and A-Troupe had sort of got used to his routine of not really speaking much or letting anyone in. He could still dance well, after all. That was all he needed to do.
He knew Pete was getting worried about him. He knew his mom was, too. He hadn't had anyone round since that night, and there was a reason for it.
But no one was more worried than Daisy.
"I just... I wish she didn't care so much," he mumbled, letting only his granny in on his deepest secrets. "She doesn't understand that me letting her in will just mean she gets hurt. And I don't wanna do that to her."
His granny didn't reply. Of course she didn't.
"I love her," he said. "I'll always love her. But... if I don't push her away right now, she's gonna learn that loving me has consequences."
He'd seen it happen before, time and time again.
"Anyways, um-" he wiped more tears from his face as he clambered to his feet. "I have to go. I'll see you soon, though."
He left the fresh flowers he'd brought into the pot next to her grave and headed off down the path, steeling himself for the drive home.
He still wasn't sure what lay ahead with Daisy.
But he just sure as hell hoped she didn't end up getting hurt by it.
-
Their next proper conversation was two weeks later, when he accidentally ran into her and her brother Aaron at the supermarket.
He'd been trying to hide, but she'd spotted him immediately. He hadn't met her eyes as she'd walked up to him, the look in her eyes half sad half hopeful.
"Hey," she said, her voice kind of awkward. "Fancy seeing you here, huh?"
It was weird. Because they were still technically in a relationship. It was just that they hadn't spoken properly in two months, and that he was trying to push her away.
"Yeah," Heath's voice was hollow.
Aaron was staring between them, frowning slightly. Heath knew he'd want to say something, but didn't. Instead, he just slowly walked off to 'look at something else', presumably just giving them some time.
"So, uh..." Daisy bit her lip, walking slightly closer. "How have... how've you been?"
Heath didn't want to do this.
He didn't want to do the whole 'familiarity' act with her, as if he didn't know what her lips tasted like and the way she always looked down when she blushed.
"Fine," he said, trying to keep his tone flat.
His technical girlfriend sighed, looking down (but not to blush this time).
"You, uh... you ready for conditioning on Monday?" She raised her eyebrows and tried to smile. "Eldon's running it as well, which means no water or anything for like hours on end, which I'm pretty sure is illegal-"
"Listen, I have to go," Heath told her, making to walk past her.
Daisy's face fell. "Heath, listen-"
"I have to go."
He left, deliberately not turning round. He could picture the look on her face and seeing it in real life would probably kill him.
As if all this wasn't already killing him, anyway.
-
Three months of this, and Daisy was done.
Three months of him shunning her at every opportunity. Three months of him shutting her out. Three months of watching him isolate himself from everything and everyone.
That night, the night his granny had died, she'd been there. She'd seen his reaction, and she'd watched him cling to her before getting out the car. She'd kissed him to try and help him get over it.
And then the next time she'd seen him, a switch had been flipped, and he'd pushed her away.
And then he'd continued to push her away every single time they'd been together since then.
She'd tried everything. She'd tried not talking about it, she'd tried bringing it up, she'd tried getting Pete to help her, she'd tried the whole lot. But nothing had worked.
Because he wouldn't freaking tell her what was going on.
So, today, she'd made a decision. A last ditch attempt to help him.
She'd smiled at his mom as she let her in, even though she wasn't feeling happy about this whatsoever. Her heart was thumping in her chest and her eyes were beginning to gloss over.
"He's upstairs," she said, sighing slightly as she called upstairs. "Heath! Daisy's here!"
When there was no reply for a minute, Victoria told her to just go upstairs. Daisy took a deep breath and began to climb, her body shaking.
She had no idea how this was going to go.
But she knew how she wanted it to.
-
"Heath! Daisy's here!"
He hadn't realised she was coming.
She hadn't told her.
But as he heard her footsteps on the stairs, he realised that she was. He could recognise the sound of that tread anywhere. Lighter on the left, heavier on the right (her right ankle was looser because of a bad sprain she once got).
He was lying on his bed, his hoodie zipped all the way up and his body sprawled out. He didn't make any effort to sit up when she entered, knowing she knew exactly what was awaiting her in there.
"Hey," she said as she shut the door, placing something down on the desk. His heart stuttered when he realised it was a mint milkshake, feeling his throat begin to tighten.
Her tone wasn't angry, but it wasn't sad either. It was matter of fact.
Her hair was down, and she looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful, and that was the problem. He didn't deserve her.
"Here's how this is going to go," Daisy's voice was flat. "I'm going to talk for a second, and you're going to listen."
Heath stared at her blankly.
Daisy took that as a green light.
"First of all, I need to tell you again that I'm sorry. I've been sorry this whole time, and I've been wanting you to let me in so I can help you, and you haven't."
He wasn't going to say anything, mainly because he couldn't tell her why he wasn't letting her in, but also because she'd told him not to interrupt her. He wouldn't disobey that.
"Second of all, I need to tell you that even if you weren't aware, I still love you," she told him. "I still care about you. I still want to help you. I know you're trying to push me away. I don't know why, but I know you are."
Again, Heath didn't say anything. He played with his fingers in his lap, sighing slightly.
Daisy took a deep breath, her bottom lip quivering.
"And finally," she began, swallowing the lump in her throat. "I need to say that even though we've barely spoken in three months, you and I are technically still dating. So... I guess the main reason I'm here today is to tell you that if you don't want that to still be true, you can end it."
His eyes flew to her beautiful brown ones, looking at her for the first time. He couldn't believe she was saying that, but also he had no idea what to do with this. She was everything to him, but he didn't deserve her.
"So here's the deal," Daisy told him, leaning back and crossing her arms, her voice cold and hard. "I'm going to visit family with my mom and Aaron in two days. We're going to Texas for one week. And when I come back, I'm gonna need to know your decision. Either you start actually talking to me, or our relationship ends until you can tell me why you're pushing me away."
His heart was thumping in his chest as he stared at her. He wanted to scream at her and tell her to leave, but he also wanted to scream at her to tell her to come closer. Every single part of him was begging for her touch, needing to be comforted and helped.
But he couldn't let her in. If he let her in, then all he would do was hurt her, because he was broken. If he let her in, she'd end up hurt and alone and it would be all because of him.
And he wasn't sure he would ever forgive himself for hurting the human-form sunshine that was her.
So he went for the first option.
"Go away," he shot at her, his voice full of as much venom as he could work up.
Daisy reeled back, clearly shocked and sad from this statement. Heath wanted to run at her and tell her he didn't mean it.
But she was shaking her head and leaving the room before he could, leaving him with five words.
"Have it your way, Heathcliff."
-
It was the day that she was leaving that Olivia came back home.
She was leaving in an hour to be exact, when his sister barged into her room.
"We need to talk."
Heath had been lying on his bed, descending deeper and deeper into his own misery, before she'd come in.
He was still unsure of what to do. It was hurt Daisy or hurt himself. The problem was apparently hurting himself would hurt Daisy.
She just didn't understand that he was protecting her, and never would.
"What about?" He shot back at Olivia.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that mom has told me and Pete and Daisy have both called me in the past few hours telling me to check up on you?" Olivia snapped back. "I'm not stupid, Heathcliff. If they're all saying you're needing to be checked up on then something's going on."
"Go away," Heath snapped at her.
"That's not going to work on me," Olivia shot back. "You've been allowed three months to sulk and cry and do whatever on your own, but now you need to start talking, otherwise you're going to get too deep into this."
"Could you just stop caring too much?" Heath yelled, his voice going up in volume.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" His sister demanded, narrowing her eyes.
Heath had never been able to keep secrets from her.
And then, suddenly, things were flying out left and right.
"Everyone cares way too much!" He yelled. "Mom, Pete, you, Daisy! You're all getting way too close to me and that's a problem! Because what's gonna happen when I hurt you like I've hurt everyone else?"
Olivia's eyes widened and then an expression of absolute shock and understanding came onto her face.
"You're pushing us all away because you're blaming yourself," she shook her head. "Heath, granny's death was not your fault-"
"It was!" Heath yelled. "Liv, I didn't go and visit her in that hospital for a month because I thought there'd be so much time! And because of that, I never got to say goodbye! How the hell do you think that isn't my fault?"
"That's why you're pushing Daisy away," his sister's eyes got wider. "Because you think you're going to hurt h-"
"Oh well done! A-star for you," Heath chuckled bitterly, shaking his head. "
"I'm being serious!" Olivia yelled, sitting down opposite him. "Heath, you have to listen to me. Daisy knows you. That's what loving somebody means. She chose to be in a relationship with you because she loves you, and if she ever didn't want that she'd decide that herself. It's not your responsibility to 'make her realise' how bad you are, or whatever. Because you're not."
Heath listened to her. Actually listened. And for the first time in three months, he felt hope. He felt like there was a light at the end of this tunnel.
"Pushing Daisy away isn't going to do anything other than make you both sad," she said. "And I know you don't want to make her sad. You did this whole thing to 'protect' her."
Heath was crying now, his teary eyes looking down with a small smile on his face.
Suddenly, the past three months seemed crazy to him. His granny wouldn't have been happy at him for pushing everyone away. She would've told him to stop being such an idiot.
And that idea suddenly made him want to laugh, not sob until his chest hurt.
"I'm sorry," he said weakly, looking at his sister in the eyes. "I love you."
Olivia smiled, rushing over and hugging him tightly. "Love you too."
As they hugged, Heath felt something within him heal. Something that hadn't been whole since hearing "it's your grandmother" in Studio One that day.
"So, what you gonna do?" Olivia raised her eyebrows as they pulled back.
Heath sighed, looking at the clock and saying. "Well, she leaves in forty minutes, so-"
"Wait, she leaves in forty minutes?!" Olivia yelled, eyes going wide. "Come on, we have to go! The ride to her house is longer than that!"
"Wha-? Liv, I was going to say I'll speak to her when she gets back!"
However, as Olivia pulled him off his bed and out his room, he had to admit that the idea of rendezvousing with Daisy before she left was very appealing.
"Oh hell no!" His sister yelled over her shoulder. "We have to go!"
-
She drove him.
He'd never seen Olivia drive so fast as he directed her to Daisy's house, his heart beating fast and his eyes wild.
He needed to get to her, to tell her everything and to apologise. To apologise most of all.
"Left here," he said, checking his watch. They were supposed to leave in a minute.
He was worried. If he couldn't get to her, he'd have to wait a week and what if she met someone in Texas or something? What if something happened that made her sure she wanted them to break up?
"Right h-"
"Wait, that's her!"
Heath's eyes flew to the side of the road, a gasp escaping his lips as he saw his technical girlfriend just exiting the small corner shop there, heading back towards her house with presumable holiday supplies.
"Liv, let me out!" He yelled, because he knew this was his last chance.
"Heath, this is a one way street and someone's following me-"
"Then go faster and make a U-turn!"
"I can't just-"
"GO!"
She slammed on the accelerator and rushed down the street, taking the first turn off she could.
As soon as she was parked up, Heath slammed the door shut, yelling a thanks out before sprinting down the street.
"Daisy!" He yelled, seeing her swishing black ponytail in the distance and running faster. "Daisy! Daisy!"
She didn't seem to notice him, and she was nearing her street-
"DAISY!" The yell tore from his throat as she stopped at a crossing, sprinting faster and faster, filled with so much longing he could barely breathe-
"Daisy! DAISY!"
When she finally turned round, there was surprise written all over her face, but so much love, too. He rushed towards her, unable to believe she'd actually seen him.
He was panting by the time he reached her, his chest rising and falling like mad. His eyes were clouded over and emotion was written all over his face as he stared at her, the both of them just stood there on her street corner, staring at each other.
Daisy's eyes were full of emotion too, as she looked at him, her lips trying to form words she couldn't fathom. She looked like the most beautiful thing on earth, and he was quite sure that he wanted to spend the rest of his life by her side.
"Listen," Heath told her, voice choked up, shaking his head. "I... when my granny died, I- I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault," his voice broke. "B-because whenever I- I get too close to someone, bad things happen to them."
He'd ruined his old A-Troupe by being the mole. He'd ruined Pascale by being an idiot. And he'd ruined his grandmother by not being there beside her through all this.
Daisy stared up at him, shaking her head. "Heath..."
"And I- I know that it's stupid," he told her, still panting, shaking his head. "But I just felt like if I stayed close to you, I'd ruin you like I've ruined so many other things."
A tear leaked out his eye and ran down his face. He swallowed the lump in his throat, forcing himself to keep going.
"But I love you," he continued, his voice warm and open and emotional in a way Daisy hadn't heard in months. "I love you so, so much. And I've only just realised that I can't spend time running away from you because you're it for me. And you're always gonna be it for me, Daisy, I-"
The rest of his speech was swallowed by her lips as she went up on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard. She was crying, too, but for the first time in a long time, they were happy tears.
Butterflies were flying around her stomach by the time they pulled away, both emotional yet happy.
"Listen to me," Daisy told him, moving one of her hands up to his face and gently moving her thumb underneath his eye, catching the tears that lay there. "You're not going to ruin me, okay? Ever. You're it for me too, Heath."
Her voice broke slightly as she said his name, and he looked at her like she was the greatest thing he'd ever seen.
"I'm sorry," he told her, his hands squeezing her waist and bringing her closer. "I don't want you to go away. Ever. I want you next to me for the rest of my life."
Daisy kissed him again, unable to verbalise the amount of love coursing through her body for him right then, needing to show him.
"You don't have to be sorry," she told him. "I'm sorry I left you to do this alone for this long."
Heath shook his head. "That's not your fault. It's never your fault."
He kissed her again, his whole body burning with the need to be close to her, to show her how in love with her he was. He kissed her again, and again, and again. And Daisy kissed back.
She knew these past three months had been hard for him.
He knew he hadn't made it very easy for her to help.
But they'd learned a lot throughout the time. About themselves, and about their future.
And it just made them both even more sure that a future for them existed.