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Jisung rang the bell and immediately felt like turning away as he swung his weight from leg to leg as he waited for his brother to open the door.
The brothers had never had a bad relationship; they were close enough even when they were very different, or at least Jisung felt like they were.
When he was all about superheroes, dinosaurs and nerdy stuff, his brother, Chan, was all about cool things. Like… being cool, and getting all the girls Jisung had ever had an interest in. Not that he could blame his brother or the girls, if he were in the same situation as them, he would also choose Chan.
But it was Jisung’s first year of university, and for half of it he had done nothing but study and make a few friends. It was alright, but he wanted to be cool. Cool like his brother, who smoked and drank and was in a frat; he wanted to get the girl in his class who listened to rock and had a nose piercing and wore fishnets to uni.
And so he had made a decision, maybe a stupid one as each time he had tried to ask Chan for help with girls it had turned the wrong way, but he was smarter than when he was younger; he would simply not tell Chan that it was to get a girl, he would-
Chan opened the door. He looked at Jisung from the top of his head, backwards cap on it, to his unmatched socks, and then smiled warmly.
“What’s up, baby bro?”
“Hey, Chan,” Jisung smiled. It kind of made him feel like a spring to go see Chan, all his body tensed while he waited for him, and when Chan appeared, it all relaxed and he felt like jumping and shaking.
“What does my cute brother need?” Chan asked, hanging on the door to his frat house. It was quite early in the morning. Jisung had told Chan he was going just to be sure he would be awake. It was all to evade some of Chan’s frat brothers; he felt way too awkward around them for some reason.
“I… Can I tell you inside?” Jisung asked, looking up with big eyes, as if Chan would have a reason to oppose.
Chan nodded and pointed with his hand inside, but the moment Jisung smiled and tried to go past him, Chan got an arm around his waist and lifted him up, back hugging him and pressing him as much as he could against himself.
“Missed you, little bro, you almost never visit.”
“Well, I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Not a lot of time for your uncool big brother, I get it,” Chan whined, putting JIsung down.
As Jisung turned to tell Chan that: “Well, actually, about that-” he saw that in the open space right after the door, Changbin and Hyunjin were talking, already looking at them with that pair of raised eyebrows.
Jisung bit his cheeks. He had been okay with them at the start, a few months back, when he first got into uni and went to visit Chan’s frat house.
Back then, all of them had been sitting in a circle made of couches and chairs and a few people sitting on the floor. And it had been fun! Jisung was already thinking about joining the frat. It felt great to have so many big brothers! It was amazing. But then, as Chan was talking, he put an arm around Jisung, and when Hyunjin came closer to tell something in Jisung’s ear, Chan pulled him away and into his lap, and the eyebrows started to rise as Jisung played it off, happily kicking his feet in the air as he sat on top of his brother.
They kept drinking, Jisung maybe a little too much, as Chan kept looking at him as if he was evaluating if his brother was going to pass out, and telling him to “Come closer, let me smell your breath.” It had been embarrassing, mostly because the rest kept raising their eyebrows and frowning. But Chan had smiled and kissed his cheek each time, telling Jisung he wasn’t “that drunk, yet.”
Later that same night, Jisung was sure he had been, because he kept feeling something on his nape from time to time, a soft pressure and something wet, and the next morning he had a kind of mark there, as if he had hit himself on some corner or something; and Chan’s hands felt a little too hot and a little too close to his crotch where they lied on his lower tummy, playing with the hem of his pants; maybe Jisung had been sitting there with his zipper down, and that was why everyone was looking weird at him.
Since then, well, every time he stayed the night, drinking or not before, everyone looked weird at him. Every time the next day, if he walked out of Chan’s room and found someone, they would ask something weird like “Did you sleep with Chan?”
Well, of course, he had, where else was he supposed to sleep?
After some nights, when he was fed up, Jisung suggested bringing a couch or a mattress inside, and that had made Chan frown. It had been worse than having the rest do it, so he had never asked again.
“Why would you come to visit me, and not sleep with me, Sungie?” Chan had said. “Don’t you love your big bro?”
Jisung had rolled his eyes and apologized, and Chan had hugged him closer that night. Jisung had woken up feeling sweaty and maybe a little too sticky, especially around his lower half, but that was something to be expected with the way Chan had a leg wrapped around him, holding him tight, the covers all messed up around them.
“Sungie? ‘About that’, what?” Chan asked, bringing Jisung back to his latest visit to the frat house.
“Can you teach me how to smoke?”
“Smoke?” Chan asked. He went to grab Jisung’s waist again, shaking Jisung’s hip lightly before pulling him closer. “But I don’t smoke, Sungie. Why-”
“No, I mean like… weed.”
“Ooh…” Chan's eyes grew as big as they could. “Oh, Sungie…” Chan smiled, then giggled a little. “Why?”
“Because-” ‘Don’t mention the girl, don’t say anything about the girl’. “Well, there’s this girl-”
Fuck.
“Ah, Sungie… you want a bad bitch? That’s it?” Chan said, his grip in Jisung’s waist growing stronger, tighter. “Jinnie! Come here, let me tell you something funny,” Chan said, looking past Jisung and calling Hyunjin over with his fingers.
Jisung took in a deep breath. Hyunjin was the worst of them all. Jisung could never read him. Sometimes, he could almost see something like worry in his eyes. Was Jisung so pathetic that Hyunjin felt pity for him?
“Hi, Jisung,” Hyunjin said, already looking kind of sad. “What’s up, Chan?”
“My little brother wants to pull a girl,” Chan said, his look a little venomous, not that Jisung could interpret it as anything but playfully amused.
“Ah. Nice?”
“Yeah,” Chan answered. Jisung could feel his fingers leaving a mark where the hoodie he was wearing didn’t properly cover his lower waist. “So do you have any weed left?”
“Ah, yeah, but I wanted to-”
“Hand it over, Jinnie,” Chan smiled. “We’ll be at my room, okay? Don’t disturb.”
“Alright,” Hyunjin whispered. “Give me five.”
Chan smiled. Hyunjin tried to move closer to Jisung. Jisung wasn’t sure why, but he was yanked closer to Chan before Hyunjin could even try to say anything.
“Chan!” Jisung whined, giggling and hitting his brother in the chest.
Hyunjin didn’t try again. Five minutes later, he and Chan were sitting criss-cross on Chan’s bed, one in front of the other.
“Okay, Sungie. So to be cool, you can’t only smoke, right? You have to know how to roll, too. So, here,” he said, taking Jisung’s hands and making him open them, palm up, in front of him. He looked at Jisung and kissed the palm of one hand before putting a paper there. “The kiss is not necessary, but I’m sure the girl will like it,” Chan said. Jisung giggled. “Did you?”
“Hm?”
“Like it.”
“Yes, hyung.”
“Aww… you get all cute when you want something from me, baby bro,” Chan said, teasing. Jisung blushed just a little.
A friend once told him: “It’s weird that Chan still calls you ‘baby bro’, isn’t it?”
“What’s next?” Jisung asked, trying to shake away the feeling he sometimes got that there was something not right with the way Chan called him, with the way he touched him; a hand already resting over Jisung’s knee, a little closer to his thigh.
“Alright, so here, Jinnie got us his weed, but don’t be too grateful, okay?”
“What?” Jisung asked, frowning a little, a weirded-out smile in place.
“I said don’t be too grateful, Sungie. It’s just weed, okay? Don’t go sucking any dicks for it.”
“Chan!” Jisung hit his brother’s arm and Chan laughed, tilting his body to the side. When he came back from almost lying on the bed sideways, his hand was on Jisung’s thigh.
“Now, we roll it, okay? Look, Sungie, come closer.” Chan pulled his leg and tsked, giving his outer thigh a couple of pats until Jisung opened his legs and Chan brought them over his lap, putting the unrolled joint on the bed as he dragged Jisung until he was almost on top of him, his own legs still criss-cross, his feet pressing against Jisung’s crotch uncomfortably.
“Chan-”
“Ssh, listen, watch, and repeat. Okay, baby bro?”
Jisung nodded, moving a little to find a better position even when Chan’s veiny hand had him gripped, making it impossible for him to move away.
Chan rolled his joint carefully and pruporsfully, like everything he did, and then he licked it closed. Jisung tried to imitate it; he knew his looked a little wonkier, but he thought it was nice for his first one. The only problem was that when he licked it, it didn’t really stick.
“Hm?” Chan asked, coming closer to Jisung to look at it. “Why isn’t it sticking?”
“I don’t know? Maybe it’s the paper’s fault. Did you give me an old one?”
“Sungie! Do you think your big brother would do something like that? I gave you one from the same box as mine, silly,” Chan answered, a little too defensively. Jisung only hummed in answer, sure that facing Chan and telling him he had seen him definitely getting each paper from a different box wasn’t going to end well.
“I guess I have a dry tongue?” Jisung said then, pouting.
“Aww,” Chan cooed at him. “Let me see.”
Jisung frowned, but he let out the tip of his tongue, and so did Chan.
Chan’s was a perfect pink triangle, and Jisung found himself tilting his head to the side, wondering if it would taste like a gummy, if he could maybe suck on-
Chan grabbed Jisung’s cheeks with a hand, pushing his cheeks in.
“Open wide, Sungie, I can’t see anything like that.”
vJisung swallowed first, then let his tongue out. Chan tsked, and Jisung felt like he was thirteen again and asking Chan if he was old enough to kiss a girl, ‘You have to be twenty-five at least, Jisung,’ Chan had answered. Jisung had nodded.
Jisung could feel the wetness of his own tongue, heavy against his lower lip, tugging on the back of his throat as he tried to show all of it, leaving spit on his chin.
Chan pushed a finger on it and Jisung whined.
“Dry as hell,” Chan mumbled, pinched the tip and tugged just a little more, making Jisung whine louder, a short of humming to it. “A tongue piercing would look good on it, though,” Chan added, still pinching it. It was really going dry with the air contact, but Jisung could feel himself choking on all the saliva inside his mouth. “I can give you one, do you want it?”
Jisung tried to shake his head, humming a ‘no’. Chan laughed, let go of his tongue and pinched his squeezed cheeks harder.
“Of course, no. Baby brother doesn’t like pain, hm?” Chan relaxed his hand, but didn’t let go of Jisung’s face. “Cool girls love pain, though…”
“Chan,” Jisung tried to whine, looking sheepishly at his big brother.
Chan smiled as if he had gotten what he wanted and got his hand around Jisung’s wrists, making him raise his hands right under Chan’s own chin. He looked at Jisung, holding his look as he let out a bubble of spit, slowly letting it fall from his lips down to the semi-rolled joint in Jisung’s hands.
Jisung shivered, felt the hot spit fall on the paper.
“Lick it,” Chan said.
“That’s gross, Chan!” Jisung answered, finally getting his own tongue back in his mouth. For a moment, before the spit had hit the joint, Jisung had been sure Chan was going to spit on him instead, on his tongue, get it wet. He moved on his seat, uncomfortable, he felt Chan’s foot pressing against his crotch again, this time his own fault, and felt himself trying to press against it harder.
“Yeah, true,” Chan smiled, letting go of Jisung’s cheeks and pulling on his wrist before almost taking the joint from his palms.
“Wait! No!”
Chan raised an eyebrow, let go of Jisung’s cheeks and put both hands on his knees, right by his sides, dragging his brother closer, making his breath hitch when Chan’s foot finally pressed more solidly against his crotch. Jisung couldn’t help but notice he was getting hard as he pulled the joint up, getting his wet tongue out, looking at Chan as he spread his brother’s spit around the paper with his tongue.
It was too moist, all around too much saliva for it to work, and when Jisung tried rolling it, still feeling kind of hazy by the whole situation, it came out a mess, and Chan, always the helpful big brother, sighed and took it from Jisung’s hands.
“We will try again later, baby brother, okay?” Jisung nodded. “Let’s light mine up, yeah? What do you say?” Jisung nodded again. “So go get the lighter.”
It was going to be embarrassing, and something in Jisung told him Chan knew it and that was why he was sending Jisung and not only the whole “You’re the little brother, Jisung, you have to go,” that Chan always used when the TV remote or the glass of water was way too far for them to reach it from Chan’s bed.
Jisung moved, first back then up Chan’s bed as Chan nodded at him and pointed with his chin to the nightstand right next to Chan’s bed. Jisung sighed, but then Chan’s eyes dropped to Jisung’s crotch and Jisung couldn’t care for anything else but to get the lighter and cover himself as quickly as possible.
“First drawer,” Chan mumbled, licking his lips.
When Jisung opened it his ears went red and his pulse spiked up. There were two different lubes there, one flavored (peaches), the other unflavored, and around ten condoms, all from different packages, different flavors or textures or- he stopped looking at them.
“It’s there, Sungie, just look around.”
“This-”
“What?” Chan moved to lie on his stomach, head right next to the drawer. “Do I have to teach you about those, too?” Chan said, teasing. Jisung was sure it was a ‘You don’t get any, do you?’ kind of joke, but his cock wasn’t in on it, and it twitched at the idea of Chan showing him.
“No!” Jisung answered, instead of a ‘yes, please’, that he wasn’t sure how had gotten there.
Chan laughed and pointed to the drawer with his chin again. Jisung swallowed and got his hand in. Oh. Chan also had nipple clips. Nice- not nice, whatever. Jisung found the damn lighter.
Chan rolled on the bed to leave space for Jisung and took the joint again.
“Here,” Chan whispered, taking the lighter from Jisung’s hands, making sure to caress his thumb as he did so. “Lighted and-” He took a drag, not too long. “Started.”
“So how do I-”
“Ssh, big bro will show you. Here. Don’t hold it.”
Chan got his fingers up, the joint between them, and took Jisung’s nape, pressing him forward until his lips were around the joint.
Jisung tried a drag. It was bitter. He coughed. Chan laughed, cooed at him.
“Damn, bro, you are bad at this,” he said as he took one drag himself. “Let’s try again, yeah? Don’t try to get too much, I have more weed, we can roll a few more.”
Jisung nodded and Chan pressed the joint against his lips again. Jisung liked the way they were sitting before better, and, before taking a shorter drag and letting it out, almost not coughing that time, he got on his knees and moved closer to Chan.
Chan put the joint between his lips and his hands behind his back, looking smug as Jisung moved closer.
“Easier,” Jisung whispered.
“Of course, doll,” Chan muttered back.
“What?”
“Nothing,” Chan smiled, moving forward again. He was closer to Jisung’s chest more than his face. “And what’s up with that hoodie, hm?” Chan said, wrapping an arm around Jisung and bringing him the few extra centimeters that put him in his lap that Jisung hadn’t been brave enough to cover himself.
“What do you mean?” Jisung said. He took the joint from Chan’s lips and Chan smiled. Jisung tried to do so too, but he felt too awkward, perched on Chan’s lap, his hand on his shoulder as his brother toyed with the way-too-high waistband of the hoodie. Jisung tried to take another drag, it went down easier.
“Isn’t the whole point of a hoodie to cover yourself and keep you from the cold?”
“Old man,” Jisung teased as an answer.
“Hey!” Chan pressed his thumbs into Jisung’s V-line, just slightly visible now that his pants had also ridden down his hips from him kneeling and dragging them over the bed.
“What! Aren’t you? ‘Isn’t the point’,” Jisung mocked him before passing him the joint again. Chan took it but didn’t smoke it.
“I meant, this one is short-”
“You wear shorter ones.”
“-and that… what’s that, a mail? Instead of a shoulder…”
“What? You don’t like it?” Jisung asked, taking the joint back just to have something to do with his hands that wasn’t playing with the sewing hem of his brother’s hoodie, and something to have in his mouth that wouldn’t let him run it.
“I like it. Come here,” Chan said, pushing on Jisung’s hips, making his pants sit even lower before Jisung could properly sit on his lap. “I like that it sparkles,” he said, caressing the material and then rubbing it between his fingers, as if he were trying to identify it. “Hyunjin seemed to like it too, hm?”
“I don’t know,” Jisung answered, looking away, passing the joint to Chan, who took a longer drag than the ones before and let the smoke float to Jisung’s face, making him turn even further away.
He got Jisung’s cheek again, tapping it a few times before holding his chin and making him turn towards him.
“Do you like him, Sungie?”
“What? No, I don’t like boys.”
“Good,” Chan answered, smiling. Jisung wasn’t sure what that meant. He was pretty sure Chan wasn’t homophobic, right? “Men are trash, Sungie. Here,” he said, pushing the joint between his lips again. “Take a longer drag, blow it out in my face.”
“Why?” Jisung asked, but he took it immediately after.
“It’s sexy, that girl will like it.”
“I’m not sure,” Jisung said, as he let the smoke out.
“Well, not when you do it like that, dumbass.”
“Hey!”
“Here, look,” Chan said, sounding annoyed, like it really was a chore to bring Jisung even closer, as he took the joint from his lips, turning it and leaving Jisung only enough space not to be burnt with the quickly shortening thing. “See? Slow like this,” he said.
Chan let out a soft line of smoke, continuous, directly over Jisung’s lips. Jisung swallowed his own saliva, but not the smoke, and Chan tsked when all the smoke was out and dispersed in the air.
Jisung realized, as he followed the path, that Chan’s room was starting to look cloudier, if ever so slightly.
“Sungie, you’re supposed to take that in.”
“Ah, yeah, I knew it.”
“Then why didn’t you do it?”
“Because I’m not a cool girl? I don’t know,” Jisung answered, embarrassed, both hands on Chan’s shoulders. They were too close, and Jisung was still semi-hard, and it was kind of weird being like that on top of his brother, and he could smell Chan’s cologne that he used to steal back home and he wanted to drown in it a little.
“Aw, you can be a cool girl for me, Sungie,” Chan answered and, before Jisung could process it, he kept talking. “Come closer, it will be easier.”
Jisung wasn’t sure how much closer he could be. He tried to move just a little, but even then, his lips were so close to Chan’s that it seemed… sacrilegious, wrong, something that shouldn’t be making his skin tingle, his toes curl.
Chan let out the last of the smoke, surprising Jisung and making him cough and move back. Chan laughed and took another drag in the meantime, before taking Jisung’s nape again and putting the joint out on his own jeans before throwing it to the side and making their foreheads knock each other.
“Open your mouth, doll,” he said then, his hand in a vicegrip in Jisung’s nape. Jisung did, only slightly; for a moment it looked more like a pout than anything else. “Good.”
The smoke hit him first, Chan’s lips right after.
Jisung tried to pull away, but Chan’s hand on his nape wouldn’t let him. His brother other hand went to his waist and then lower to his hip, holding him and making him rock forward as Chan’s smoke passed directly to him.
Jisung tried to hold it, and he felt Chan smiling over his lips, letting him the smallest of spaces to blow the smoke out before his lips were back on his little brother, way more insistently than before.
Jisung’s mouth was already parted, and Chan took advantage of it, licking inside him as soon as Jisung had had time to breathe. Jisung whined, groaned, tried to move. Chan cooed at him, getting his hand off Jisung’s hips and hooking a thumb on his mouth, pressing on his teeth to keep his mouth open.
“She will like this too, doll,” Chan mumbled. “Someone has to teach you, right?”
Well, Chan was right. He had only ever had a proper kiss. A cute girl, they were in Jisung’s room. Chan knocked on the door shortly after. Of course, the girl was so embarrassed that she didn’t contact Jisung (or let him contact her) again.
Only practice, a lesson, like the smoking had been, or had been supposed to be, whatever.
Jisung liked it.
Learning.
Not kissing his brother. Not the way Chan’s tongue dragged along his, making the tip of his curl trying to catch it again. Not the way Chan’s thumbs were under his hoodie, drawing circles over his sensitive ribs, in the same way his tongue was doing. Not the humming directly on his lips, making his whole body vibrate.
“Baby,” Chan whispered, for the first time in his life, that Jisung had heard, forgetting the ‘brother’ after it. Jisung whimpered in his mouth, letting Chan scrape his own tongue on Jisung’s teeth. “Like me, follow me,” Chan said, and before he could finish, Jisung’s hands were on his nape and Jisung’s tongue was following every ridge of Chan’s teeth. “Yeah, good, baby.”
Jisung hummed, licked Chan's tongue and made it chase his from Chan’s mouth to his, feeling drunk on the power over his brother, as if Chan would do anything he asked for as long as they kissed.
Maybe it had to do with the weed, maybe he was really drunk, like that first night he had slept over and woke up with aching muscles.
Chan’s hands got higher. Jisung shivered at the contact of his skin with the cold air.
“Ssh, don’t worry, Sungie. I’ll warm you up, okay, doll?”
“No-” Jisung wasn’t sure why he said it. Chan’s hands crept up his sides anyway, his thumbs brushing against his nipples.
“You want to get cold, Sungie?” Chan whispered, kissing the corner of his mouth. Jisung shook his head. “That’s what I thought.”
Jisung gasped at Chan pinching both his nipples, the whole areola, then just the little perky bub.
“You have to learn how to do this, too, yeah? Playing with her boobs, treat her right, hm?”
Jisung was sure Chan had asked him something, but all he could do was hold tight to his shoulders as his dry thumbs flicked his sensitive nipples, making him twitch in his brother’s lap.
“Oh… my little brother likes having his nipples played with that much? What a needy slut, Sungie.”
“I-” Chan pushed him away from himself, making him curve his spine, trying to grab onto his shoulders again as Chan rode his hoodie all the way up and bent to kiss as close to his belly button as he could.
“How are you going to do anything with a partner when you are like this?” Chan tsked, trailing his kisses up until he was licking around a nipple, making Jisung moan and his breath hitch. “So needy, Jisung. Moaning this much just because of a couple of kisses.” He sighed and bit his brother’s perky nipple between his teeth, making him yelp in protest.
Chan giggled and brought him closer, sitting him on his lap again. He noticed Jisung’s little yelp when he felt his boner against his ass.
“Ssh, don’t worry about that, doll. It’s just normal, yeah? I’m only teaching you, baby.”
Jisung should have realized, knowing his brother, that the trail of warm appellatives was one of Chan’s tactics to get his way. He had always used them since they were little, but maybe the change of ‘baby brother’ to a plain ‘baby’, and ‘Sungie’ to ‘doll’, distracted him too much. Maybe he didn’t really dislike the press of his brother’s cock between his cheeks as much as he should, either.
“Okay,” Jisung whimpered, hiding his face in Chan’s neck crook, giving the skin there the tiniest of kisses.
“Let’s take this off, yeah?” Chan whispered, pushing the hoodie up and making it fly to the other side of the room, chains shimmering, as soon as Jisung nodded and raised his arms.
Chan took Jisung’s nape and moved him to his neck again, encouraging another little kiss as he started to kiss up Jisung’s neck again, then moved his face again to kiss him again, dirty and deep as he toyed with Jisung’s pants, opening them and making Jisung whimper in his mouth when he pressed against his hard cock.
“Cute little thing, and so fucking wet,” he whispered against Jisung’s lips, just to abandon his cock to grab at his asscheek instead, massaging it roughly. “Your cool girl is going to be wet, but you aren’t back here, hm?” Chan said, annoyed. Jisung whimpered, not sure how to fix that until his brother got his other hand in front of his face. “Baby, lick my fingers.”
Jisung frowned, feeling it all was too much already. He should say no. He should get himself out of the room, cry for Changbin or Hyunjin to come in and get him out.
“You want me to go dry, baby?” Chan asked, raising an eyebrow.
Jisung opened his mouth.
Chan was tender at first, getting only the pad of two fingers in, pressing them softly against Jisung’s tongue, collecting a little wetness on them, but then he pushed deeper and pinched his tongue between both fingers, pulling on it so Jisung would start to move it, covering his fingers on saliva as Chan started to move them in and out slowly.
“Good boy,” Chan mumbled, kissing his neck as he kept playing with his asscheeks and fucking his fingers a little faster in his little brother’s mouth until Jisung choked on them. “Aw, baby, no,” Chan whispered. He got his fingers out and let Jisung cough before kissing his shiny tears away and cooing at him. “You did so well, Sungie,” he whispered against his cheek like he used to do after Jisung’s P.E. exams that always left him breathless and in tears, rubbing his nose against it.
He kissed him and Jisung kissed him back, taking in a breath when he felt his brother's wet fingers dipping between his cheeks.
He whimpered at the feel of the pads against his rim, pressing softly, and Chan shushed him as he kept pressing, lightly tapping against the tense muscle.
“Sungie, it’s going to hurt more if you don’t relax, hm?” Chan kissed him again before Jisung could say anything.
Jisung took in a deep breath. It was like that time Chan was trying to teach him how to skateboard and Jisung was so scared of the pain that he was stiff as a board. He just had to relax and his brother would take care of him; he wouldn’t let him fall.
“Good, baby,” Chan whispered, a hot, wet breath over his neck as he rubbed against Jisung’s rim, dragging it down, pressing the pad of one finger into it. “So good,” he added, kissing Jisung’s neck. “Let me lie you down, doll.”
Chan lay Jisung down, but he was so focused on getting his face as close to his crotch as possible that he didn’t calculate the position correctly and Jisung’s head lay off the bed. He groaned, protesting it before Chan giggled and pulled him by the legs.
“I’m sorry, baby.”
“Mean,” Jisung whispered. He was sure there was something else to say, but as Chan moved up, kissing his stomach and licking at his nipple again before sucking on it like he expected something to come out, he forgot what else he could have wanted to say. He grabbed Chan’s hair and pulled him up, kissing him.
Chan smiled as wide as ever, getting his hoodie finally off when Jisung let his lips free and coming back to grab Jisung’s cheeks like he had done when they were still trying to roll a joint that had been smashed and littered around by Jisung’s body already.
“Open wide, doll.”
Jisung scrunched his nose, but he obeyed once again. He wanted to puke the moment Chan spat on his mouth, but his brother’s tongue was pushing his spit down his throat as Chan finally dragged his pants down.
“Have you ever eaten anyone out, Sungie?” Chan asked right in his ear as he dragged his blunt nails down Jisung’s thigh, making his wet cock twitch.
“No,” Jisung whined back. He knew he should have used that word before, wasn’t sure if he had; the weed was getting to him, everything seemed less important, and Chan’s hands felt so comforting.
“Of course no, baby,” Chan whispered, smiling, playing with the shape of his brother’s ear as he tapped his cock away, as if he were a cat playing with it. “Going to show you, okay?”
“Please.”
Chan huffed, dangerous, finally stroking Jisung properly, making him thrash and arch his back up the mattress, trying to grab onto Chan.
“Let me get the peach lube, baby bro,” Chan muttered, kissing under his ear.
He got up on his knees on the bed. Jisung was taken aback by the sight. He had always admired his brother, and admiring his body had seamlessly merged into that adoration; it was easy when Chan looked like that. Jisung’s breath hitched, his legs trembled to close around Chan’s hips when he thought of those powerful muscles, of the care and dedication Chan had put into sculpting himself, when he thought about the idea of Chan putting the same care and dedication in him.
“Here we go, baby,”
Chan let the cold lube fall directly between Jisung’s cheeks, just to see him squirm. It was completely useless; there was not even a real fight behind it, just Jisung’s feet stomping on Chan’s bed like an annoyed bunny, just his arms flapping and grabbing the pillow as he whined again.
“You sound so sweet, baby. I should record you next time.”
“Next time-”
“Hm, oh… You can’t wait, is that it? Do you want me to set up my phone, Sungie?”
“Chan,” Jisung protested, pouting. Chan laughed and moved up to kiss Jisung, a soft peck as he pushed a couple of fingers against Jisung’s hole.
“I’m kidding, baby. I won’t risk anyone else hearing you, hm? And I can have you like this whenever I want, right?” Jisung didn’t answer. Chan started kissing down his neck and Jisung thought he could answer difficult questions like that one when his head was in a better, less foggy place, but then Chan twitched his nipple with malice. “Right, baby brother?”
“Chan-”
“I asked a question, Jisung, you know I don’t like it when you don’t answer.”
Jisung knew. He once didn’t answer Chan’s goodnight text and Chan went and dragged him out of his first-ever college party, twisting his wrist so hard he made him cry.
“I- Yes.”
“Yes, what, doll?” Chan asked, he kept trailing his kisses down Jisung’s stomach to his thighs, but his hand was still menacing over Jisung’s chest.
“You can have me, Chan. You can always have me.”
“Like this,” Chan added, pushing Jisung’s legs up and apart.
“Like this, big brother.”
“Right.”
Chan's tongue was long, wide; it seemed to be everywhere at once, licking up along his crack, pressing against his rim, teasing his balls, down again. Jisung was trembling before Chan even pushed it inside him, making Jisung squeeze the pillow harder.
“That’s-”
“Good?” Chan asked, spat over his hole and rubbed it in with two fingers. “You taste good, doll.”
“The lube-”
“Hm, next time I’ll use the unflavored one. Such a pity not to really taste all of you.”
“Chan-” Jisung almost tried to cover himself, too embarrassed about what Chan was suggesting, but something in his mind warned him in time, so he only rested his hand against his belly instead of obstructing Chan and angering him.
Chan smiled and took Jisung’s hand, kissed his knuckles and put it on his hair.
“Put me wherever you want, Sungie.”
Jisung looked down between his legs. Chan’s chin was shining with spit and lube, his lips swollen, even bigger than usual, redder, pinker, like a strawberry. Jisung swallowed, feeling the way his nails scraped against Chan’s scalp, making himself shiver just imagining the sensation in his own head.
He pushed his brother between his legs, against his cheeks, rubbed his nose along his crack as Chan smirked before grabbing both his cheeks and opening them again, licking along the path Jisung made him follow.
“Channie-”
“What, baby?” Chan asked, his fingers pressing into his brother’s cheeks, making sure to keep him open enough that he could feel the cold air when Chan moved back to talk to him, so he was aware that every time he tried to question anything, he was just losing the warmth of Chan between his legs.
“More.”
“Oh.”
It was animalistic. Jisung's whole body was pushed up when Chan got his legs over his shoulders, bending him so he could stand on his knees and eat him out at the same time, pressing his upper body against the mattress as he devoured him, pushing his tongue all the way inside him, licking him like he really tasted of peaches and Chan wasn’t allergic.
Jisung whined, trying to make Chan lower him again, but Chan didn’t even hear him. The pulse on Jisung’s thighs, right around his ears, was too loud for him to hear anything else, and his attention was fully on the meal all around him.
He pushed a finger inside and Jisung jolted, squeezing him down for a moment.
“Relax, doll, don’t you like it?”
Jisung wasn’t sure. He did, he thought he did. It was a little too much, though; it all was a little too much.
But Chan started to fuck him with that finger, still eating him out, licking around and inside him as he bent his finger and tried to stretch him faster, already pressing a second one against his rim.
It wasn’t long until the second finger was inside too, scissoring him open further than if Chan had pushed a third finger in, licking him deeper. Jisung’s cock was leaking all over his stomach, his breath was short, the position was making his blood flow to his head, his legs had gone a little numb, and the fog was denser.
“Chan- Channie- I want- I want to stop-”
Chan shushed him, but he moved Jisung down and let his legs rest, kissing his thighs and moving up to kiss him too. He tasted of peaches.
“You look so good like this, baby, so much better than when you sleep.”
“What?”
Chan smiled, kissed him again, longer, deeper, making it difficult for Jisung to think.
He thought he could remember a little; the press of Chan’s hips, the grinding, the stickiness, the hand against his chest, around his cock, a particular ache like when Chan had pressed his fingers inside him the first time. He thought he could remember, but he was also high, and maybe he was just wishful thinking.
Chan kissed away a tear that Jisung wasn’t sure how had gotten to his cheek, and when he tried to dry his eyes, Chan took his wrists and pushed them to the sides, kissing his lips again.
“Lesson is over then. Okay, baby boy?”
Jisung nodded, finally breathing again, relieved.
“Thanks-”
“But can you help your big bro out in compensation, doll?”
Jisung nodded, too quickly, far too grateful that it was all over, relieved that his brother had listened to him, didn’t try to push him anymore.
“Let me just- Just the tip, yeah?”
“Chan, no-”
Chan was already kissing around his stomach, then upwards to his chest, stroking his cock with the peach-flavored lube.
“Didn’t you want to be cool, baby? Cool girls don’t say no.”
“But I’m not a girl.”
“I don’t mind, baby.”
Jisung breath hitched, a short scream leaving him as he felt his brother’s cock pressing against his hole. He was stretched enough that it didn’t physically hurt.
“Just the tip, yeah, Sungie?”
Jisung nodded, biting his lip, holding his tears. Just the tip. It was still redeemable. It was the weed; they were too worked up. It wasn’t his brother’s intention. It was contextual. He liked it. He didn’t hate it. He had wanted it. Maybe.
Jisung held Chan’s shoulders, keeping him close as Chan pushed inside. It was Chan, Chan who could save him, who would save him from the weird feeling in his stomach that kept making him want to cry. He needed him, needed him closer, deeper.
Chan bottomed out and kissed Jisung’s forehead, and the tears flowed down Jisung’s cheeks. It felt good. It was okay; everything Chan had ever done had always felt good. And Chan was so close then, not like when he had gone and gotten a girlfriend and stopped paying enough attention to Jisung, letting him go to bed alone, cold. Not like when he moved to university. He wasn’t pushing him away anymore; he was deep within him, and it was okay. It was perfect.
He trusted him the most, and Chan was thrusting in and out, making him feel how deep and hard and big he was, all because of him; it made him feel proud. His brother was moaning his name, squeezing him close, panting in his ear, all because of him.
It was only a touch, Chan grabbed his cock and just like that Jisung was finally coming all over himself, all over Chan’s stomach too, clenching around him and making him moan louder.
“Yeah- yeah, squeeze me like that, Sungie, milk me. So good, so good-”
Jisung clenched his eyes shut, tightened himself, gripping Chan's cock as it throbbed inside him, getting him full of his brother’s cum, deep inside him.
When Jisung opened his eyes, he thought maybe he would find himself alone in his bed or maybe, like the nights he had dreamt about something like that, Chan would be spooning him, looking innocent; but Chan was still on top of him, still inside him, kissing his tears away, caressing his cheek and tugging his hair away.
Chan smiled when he saw Jisung’s open eyes, and Jisung smiled in a mirrored way, not sure why.
“Do you want to light another one, Sungie?