Work Text:
It was a normal, average day. The Cens had just finished a great practice, the energy was buzzing in the locker room, when something horrible struck on twitter.com.
The Cens account was hacked, as a formal statement would make after the social media team caught wind of the situation.
Thankfully, the players had washed up and all headed home before anyone seemed to notice what was going on. Which unfortunately made it Harris's job to inform them.
The Cool Cens + Harris
Harris: So I take it no one has been on twitter today?
Wyatt: No?
Bood: I don't go on there nearly as much as Hazy does.
Wyatt: I haven't be on as much since Jane and Lily disappeared :(
Troy: I try not to use that app. Or any app.
Luca: Me too!
Luca: But what's going on, Harris?
Wyatt: Is there a new horny account?
Harris: No. Way worse.
Bood: Way worse?
Harris: This isn't even funny at all.
Ilya: What is going on?
Ilya: I just got home.
Wyatt: Twitter situation.
Shane: Me and Ilya didn't do anything this time!
Shane: Promise.
Harris: No, I know Shane. Trust me.
Shane: Okay.
Shane: Then what's going on?
Harris: Just don't freak out, we are currently managing it the best we can.
Ilya: Shane is already heavy breathing, Harris.
Ilya: Please just say it already.
Harris: The official centaurs account was hacked this morning.
Wyatt: What???
Bood: What the fuck?
Troy: Oh that's bad.
Luca: Really bad.
Harris: Yeah, I know.
Harris: But we are working on it, I promise.
Harris: This hacker is something serious, though.
Harris: And none of us are smart enough with the internal workings of stuff to figure it out on our own.
Harris: We have called in a bunch of help though.
Harris: It's gonna get fixed.
Wyatt: Shane?
Wyatt: Ilya?
Troy: You guys okay?
Ilya: Yes.
Ilya: Harris what has the hacker said online?
Harris: [screenshot]
Troy: Jesus fuck.
Bood: That's just stupid.
Wyatt: No one would believe that.
Ilya: Of course it is about us.
Ilya: Okay.
Ilya: Thank you, Harris.
Ilya: Let us know if anything else happens.
Ilya: I'm going to try and keep Shane off his phone as much as I can.
Harris: Is Shane okay, Ilya?
Ilya: He is okay.
Ilya: It just scares him a little.
Ilya: Things online like this.
Ilya: After... you all know.
Harris: Totally understand.
Luca: We're here for you, and Shane.
Wyatt: Of course!
Troy: Harris is gonna find this asshole and everything will be fine.
Harris: Well, not me specifically, but people are working on it.
Harris: Hopefully nothing else gets posted.
The Cool Cens + Harris
Wyatt: [screenshot]
Wyatt: What the fuck?
Troy: That's the shit the hacker is posting?
Bood: They've got to be off their rocker.
Luca: That doesn't even make sense.
Luca: Ilya doesn't have any children.
Luca: ...Right Ilya?
Ilya: No, I was always careful.
Ilya: This motherfucker wants to lie about me.
Troy: Yeah that's fucked up to claim you have illegitimate kids out there.
Ilya: No not that.
Ilya: People have claimed that for years.
Ilya: But to say I would not pay for my own child?
Ilya: Slander.
Ilya: What is that phrase for bad fathers who do not help?
Bood: Deadbeat dad?
Ilya: Yes! That!
Ilya: I would never be a deadbeat.
Ilya: I know about deadbeat fathers.
Ilya: And the only person I ever want to get pregnant is my husband.
Troy: Ignoring that.
Wyatt: No wait hold on, run that back.
Harris: I can't believe the hacker already tweeted something else.
Bood: Have they been posting anything on other accounts?
Harris: No, just twitter.
Harris: It's like they know it will get the most reaction there.
Troy: Maybe they are one of those twitter freaks Wyatt loves so much.
Wyatt: Hey! Do not call my friends freaks.
Bood: Friends?
Bood: You don't follow any of these people, Hazy.
Wyatt: Not on my public account, no.
Luca: ???
Wyatt: Don't worry about it.
Troy: Any progress yet Harris?
Harris: Not much, unfortunately.
Harris: I'm sitting back and biting my nails mostly.
Harris: I wish I could do more to help.
Bood: Ilya how are you holding up?
Ilya: I don't really care.
Ilya: People lie about me all the time.
Ilya: But this hacker better keep their mouth shut about my husband.
The hacker did not keep their mouth shut about his husband. An hour later...
The Cool Cens + Harris
Wyatt: [screenshot]
Wyatt: I know this is bad, but the replies people are making have me dying.
Bood: I do not understand this hacker at all.
Troy: Literally what are they doing?
Luca: I can't believe Shayden is a real thing people believe in.
Ilya: Shayden?
Ilya: Again?
Ilya: The fuck.
Harris: Ilya, I know it's frustrating, but please do not do anything public.
Harris: We are working on it, I promise.
Wyatt: Working pretty slowly...
Harris: Hey!
Harris: This is uncharted territory.
Harris: And also I'm not doing much to help at all.
Harris: I'm not smart enough with computers to fix this.
Troy: Don't talk about yourself like that.
Harris: Sorry, this is just very stressful.
Harris: I probably won't be home until late, Troy.
Troy: :(
Troy: I get it.
Wyatt: Uh oh.
Harris: Uh oh?
Bood: What now?
Harris: It couldn't have been another hacked tweet, we are monitoring that by the second.
Wyatt: Nope, not a hacked tweet.
Luca: Whose tweet then?
Harris: ...
Harris: Ilya Rozanov.
The Cool Cens + Harris
Ilya: Whoops.
Ilya: My finger slipped.
Four hours into one very long day...
The Cool Cens + Harris
Harris: Ilya please tell me Shane still does not have his phone.
Ilya: He does not.
Ilya: Why?
Harris: [screenshot]
Ilya: I want this person dead.
Wyatt: Oh what the fuck.
Bood: I second that, Ilya.
Luca: Dead seems really far.
Luca: Maybe just put in jail?
Troy: No. Dead.
Ilya: I may have acted far too angry.
Ilya: And Shane wrestled me for his phone back.
Ilya: And then locked himself in our bathroom.
Harris: Oh no!
Troy: Shit.
Bood: That's not good.
Five Minutes Later
Private Chat
Shane: What the actual fuck.
Shane: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK.
Shane: I'm gonna smash my phone.
Ilya: Please do not hurt yourself.
Ilya: Come out of the bathroom.
Shane: I'm so angry.
Shane: People had finally stopped talking about that.
Shane: And I would never have fucking tripped on purpose.
Shane: Not for you, not for anyone.
Shane: I'd rather be dead.
Ilya: Yes, I know my love.
Ilya: Everyone with a brain knows this.
Ilya: One hacker isn't going to change that.
Ilya: Come out of the bathroom.
Shane: You're gonna take my phone again.
Shane: And what about this other shit, Ilya?
Shane: Shayden again?
Shane: And our relationship being fake?
Shane: I hate this person.
Shane: So much.
Shane: I'm so upset.
Ilya: This is why I took your phone.
Ilya: Come out of the bathroom.
The Cool Cens + Harris
Harris: Ilya?
Harris: What's going on?
Ilya: Shane is still locked in the bathroom.
Shane: I'm not leaving.
Shane: I need to see if this motherfucker dares to open their mouth about me again.
Shane: Or about you again.
Shane: I'm gonna kill him.
Luca: Shane is scaring me.
Shane: Good.
Wyatt: Jesus christ this is bad.
Bood: They have no idea who they fucked with.
Shane: No idea.
Shane: I'm gonna call my mom.
Ilya: Shane wait.
Ilya: Harris and people are working to fix this.
Ilya: And I am sure Yuna already knows.
Ilya: But do not call her.
Troy: Why shouldn't he?
Ilya: Yuna is good, yes.
Ilya: But she would also burn down the entire world if it meant keeping Shane safe.
Ilya: I assume it would be worse for us if this ended in flames, yes?
Harris: Yes.
Ilya: So no call to Yuna, yet.
Ilya: Got it, Shane?
Shane: ...
Shane: Fine.
Shane: For now.
Ilya: Good boy.
Bood: Uh?
Wyatt: Let them have this right now.
The Cool Cens + Harris
Shane: [screenshot]
Shane: THERE LITERALLY IS NO FUCKING SEX TAPE.
Shane: I honestly should have let Ilya film one if people are going to keep talking about it.
Shane: Obviously people want to see it.
Ilya: I have made that argument before and you still turned it down.
Troy: Harris what is taking so long on this?
Luca: It's only getting worse.
Harris: I know, trust me, I know.
Harris: But we are doing all we can.
Harris: It should only be a little longer now, but it's already late.
Harris: It might not get fixed until tomorrow morning.
Bood: Jesus.
Wyatt: When you do fix it, I wanna know who was behind this.
Bood: Oh for sure.
Troy: Yeah, so we can kill them.
Ilya: Yes.
Luca: I don't like how comfortable you all are with planning a murder.
The Cool Cens + Harris
Wyatt: I'm so fucking pissed.
Wyatt: Lisa is helping plot this motherfuckers murder.
Bood: Cassie wants in too.
Troy: Harris just got home.
Troy: He's not gonna text, his eyes are fried from staring at the screens all day.
Luca: Did they fix it?
Troy: Not yet, but tomorrow morning hopefully.
Bood: Fuck.
Wyatt: This is so fucking awful.
Wyatt: We haven't even joked in a while.
Ilya: Shane is not going to be at practice tomorrow morning.
Wyatt: Oh god?
Troy: Is he alright?
Ilya: He is holding up.
Ilya: Out of the bathroom, thankfully.
Ilya: But... not totally okay.
Ilya: The mention of the video still makes him uneasy.
Ilya: And implying that this person has more is really not good for him.
Bood: God.
Luca: Send him our love, please.
Wyatt: Yes, all the love from me and Lisa.
Bood: Me and Cas too!
Troy: Harris wants me to ask how you are doing, Ilya?
Ilya: I am okay.
Ilya: Not great.
Ilya: Probably not bad enough though.
Ilya: I am very open person though, yes?
Ilya: I am more upset about this asshole hurting Shane.
Ilya: And things are only fun when we decide to make them public.
Ilya: Not fun to have that taken away from you.
Ilya: Or threatened.
Wyatt: We totally get it.
Wyatt: Well, not totally.
Bood: Yeah, I'm sure we could ever understand this level of things.
Bood: But we are here for you and Hollzy.
Troy: Tell him we'll miss him at practice tomorrow.
Luca: Are you coming to practice, Ilya?
Ilya: Yes, I am the Captain.
Ilya: I tried to say I'd stay with Shane but he told me he would kill me if I let down the team so.
Ilya: It is important to listen to your wife, yes?
Bood: All the time.
Wyatt: 100%
Troy: Wife?
The next morning...
Thankfully, that would be the last tweet from the horrible hacker. Ever.
After the internet showed it's support for Shane and Ilya, and all made numerous murder threats at the fuckface who decided to mess with them, they eventually stopped talking about. Like all things online, it got swept under the rug, forgotten in the haze of everything that is twitter. Shane went back to normal, though he would forever be a little scarred by social media. And the Centaurs moved on. Until, a month later.
Secret Cens
Wyatt: What is this?
Troy: Harris?
Troy: Why did you make this?
Bood: Who is in here?
Luca: It seems like all of us from the other chat, just without Shane?
Ilya: Harris.
Ilya: What is going on?
Harris: We found him.
Troy: Huh?
Wyatt: Found who?
Harris: The hacker from a month ago.
Bood: No way.
Wyatt: No fucking way.
Luca: Well who is it?
Harris: This is the craziest part.
Harris: It's Brad.
Bood: Brad?
Troy: Are we supposed to know this guy?
Harris: Brad, like THE fanmail video Brad.
Wyatt: Oh fuck no.
Luca: Hasn't he already done enough, now he somehow did this?
Bood: That dude is straight up evil.
Troy: Man, I feel awful for Shane and Roz.
Harris: I wanted to tell you all, but wasn't sure if Ilya would want Shane to find out like this.
Harris: Ilya?
Harris: ...
Harris: Ilya???
Ilya found Shane in their bed, back resting against the headboard, glasses perched on his perfect nose. He took a heavy inhale and stepped through the doorway.
"You coming to bed already?" Shane asked, not even looking up from his book. "I told you, you could play a few more rounds of your game." Anya had followed just behind Ilya's feet, and she padded over to the bed and hopped up. That made Shane smile and shut his book, letting her settle against his side. It wasn't often Shane was okay with Anya being on their bed, but Ilya was grateful he was letting her right now.
"I have to tell you something." Ilya's expression must have looked like he was ready to potentially be murdered, or be plotting a murder, because Shane sat up straighter, his shoulders tensing.
"Okay." He answered, pretending to be calm. Shane then pat the empty side of the bed, on the other side of where Anya was laying. "What's going on?" His eyes followed as Ilya slowly made his way to his side of the bed, sitting down but not nearly close enough to touch. Shane's lips turned into a pout at the distance. "What, Ilya? What's going on?"
"You remember a month ago." Ilya decided to start there, easing his way into this. "The incident... online." Shane's nose scrunched, like he was thinking. God, Ilya hated this. Shane had just gotten over it, to the point where it wasn't even the first thing he associated with the internet. After a second, Shane's face hardened and Ilya knew he remembered clearly. "They found the guy who did it."
"They did?" Shane blinked, leaning closer to Ilya, like his body was seeking contact without his brain even telling it too, "Who is it?"
Ilya sighed. This only made it worse. He almost wished it was just some other random asshole, not the same man who had already hurt them so badly. "Brad."
"Brad." Shane repeated, his mind trying to figure out why the name was familiar, "Brad, like-"
"Yes. The same one." Shane exhaled shakily, turning his head away from Ilya.
"Motherfucker."
"Yes, I said the same."
"Are they doing anything about him?" Shane asked, looking back at Ilya with a blaze of anger in his eyes. Ilya usually liked this, sometimes even got turned on by that fire, but not right now. Not about this.
"I do not know. Harris just told us."
"Us?" Shane's eyebrows furrowed, "Who us?"
"The team."
Shane shook his head, "I didn't get any text."
"No, he..." Ilya hadn't actually thought about what Shane would think of this, "He made a separate group to tell us. He didn't know if you would want to find out that way. Or at all."
"That's bullshit." Shane said, far harsher than he probably meant. He wasn't angry at Harris. Ilya knew Shane understood why Harris did what he did. Probably appreciated it, the same way Ilya did. He was just feeling a lot right now, with nowhere to put it all. "I can handle this. I want to handle this asshole."
"Yes, me too." Ilya agreed, reaching out to take Shane's hand from his lap, intertwining their fingers. "But we can be better than him, yes?" He gave Shane's hand a squeeze.
"Is it bad online right now?" Shane asked, another emotion sparking in his fiery eyes. Fear.
"No, it is kind of great." Ilya's lips quirked up into a smile, his free hand reaching into his pocket for his phone, "Our fans have started a hashtag to support us." He shuffled closer to Shane, their shoulders nudging, and opened his phone to twitter. Tons of tweets filled the screen, in bold lettering staring back at them they all read #FUCKBRAD.
"Wow." Shane almost laughed. Almost. "That's amazing."
"Mhm." Ilya let his phone drop into his lap and pressed a kiss to Shane's cheek. "Almost as amazing as you." Ilya could see the blush that flushed across Shane's perfectly freckled cheeks from the dim light of their bedside lamp. "What do you want to do, if you want us to do anything?" He asked, after letting them relax in their moment for a minute.
"I have an idea..." Shane actually managed a smile, reaching for his own phone from the bedside table.
The Cool Cens + Harris
Shane: We love you all.
Shane: So much.
Wyatt: Not as much as we love you guys.
Ilya: Debatable.