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“Max?”
“Max!”
“Max!”
Max’s head snapped up at the sound of Jefferson’s sickeningly loud voice still echoing in her mind as it slowly transitioned into Safi’s gentle tone, now laced with genuine concern as the dark-haired woman called out her name.
Max tightened her grip on the mug she was holding in her hands, the shitty coffee long gone cold. Her eyes met the beautiful brown ones she had learned to love so much in the past few months, those which were now urgently observing her tense frame.
The realisation of being in her own home with Safi being the one who was sitting in front of her right now caused Max’s heart rate to slow down a little bit. Nonetheless, the uncanny feeling in her stomach that she felt whenever she replayed the images of her psycho high school teacher strapping her to a chair in that creepy and cold Dark Room still clung to her like a shadow.
“I– I’m sorry, what did you say?” Max said quietly, taking a large sip from her “Nerdy & Dirty” mug, the coffee tasting bitter on her tongue.
“Are you okay, Max?” Safi asked, her eyes still locked on Max’s face.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Max replied quickly, although the tremble in her voice gave away her discomfort.
“No, you’re not.”
Safi let out a heavy sigh. She had spent enough time with Max to know her tells, she had even been Max at some point, she knew Max better than anyone else. The fact that Max was trying so hard to brush this off only increased her worry.
“You can’t lie to me, Max. Something’s been going on with you.”
Max inhaled sharply, her grip on the mug growing so strong that for a second she was afraid it might shatter. Safi noticed immediately. She reached out, carefully taking Max’s shaky hands in hers and giving them a soft, reassuring squeeze.
“Please don’t shut down like this. Not with me, Max. Just talk to me, please.”
There was a hint of desperation in Safi’s tone, she was practically begging for Max to open up and the way she looked at her with those big, troubled eyes that always revealed so much more about her emotions than words ever could absolutely undid Max, making her feel weak in the knees despite sitting down.
A shaky breath left her lips and when she spoke up, she couldn’t stop her voice from breaking.
“It’s nothing, I just–” A small gasp. “I’ve been thinking a lot,”
“About what?” Safi’s voice was so soft and calm when she asked that question, evidently not aware of the weight behind it and how it fully ripped the ground from under Max’s feet.
Max shook her head, a wave of nausea nearly overwhelming her as she shot up to her feet, hand clasped over her mouth as she fled from the kitchen to the living room, trying her best not to completely lose her composure and because she was failing miserably, she felt fucking pathetic. Her chest tightened and she gasped for air, the panic that was bubbling up inside her at a quick pace threatening to suffocate her any second.
Safi followed her and when Max turned around, she felt something shatter within her.
Safi stopped, she had never seen Max like this. They had gone through thousands of different situations together, Safi had seen Max angry, had seen her smile and laugh, had held Max as she cried and she had even watched her sleep, but this? This was a different kind of vulnerability. It almost felt like Safi could feel the agony radiating off of her.
Safi watched as Max’s blue eyes filled with tears and when the first rolled down her cheek, she finally took a step forward.
“Max…” she whispered, carefully reaching out.
“I– I can’t–”
Safi cupped Max’s face, slowly brushing away one of the many tears rolling down the smaller woman’s cheek.
“Hey, look at me. I need you to breathe, alright?”
Safi inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly. She repeated the process a few times, waiting for Max to follow her actions. It took a few minutes until Max managed to calm down a little.
“There you go. You’re doing great,” Safi breathed, her hands still steadily holding Max’s face.
She brushed a strand of hair away from Max’s forehead before pulling her into her arms, hands moving to draw some soothing circles on her back.
“I’ve got you,” Safi whispered into her ear, hoping to provide at least a little bit of reassurance and comfort.
Eventually, Safi guided Max over to the couch with an arm still wrapped around her tightly. Once they were both seated, Safi took Max’s hands in hers, her voice quiet as she spoke up.
“What’s going on, Max?”
Max sniffled, her look directed at the floor. Shame and guilt were eating away at her and she didn’t dare to look at Safi, too afraid of what she might find, but when Safi lifted her chin, leaving her no choice but to look at her, all that Max found on Safi’s face was love and concern. It was nearly enough to make her let out another sob.
Max swallowed and closed her eyes, still torn between telling Safi everything and just brushing it off like so many times before, trying to be cool about it. The latter was useless, so much was obvious. She couldn’t hide this from Safi, not anymore.
Max opened her mouth just to close it again immediately.
Where the fuck should she even begin?
Safi noticed her hesitation and leaned in to brush a soft kiss to Max’s hairline.
“I’m right here, Max. I’m not going anywhere. You can tell me,”
Another beat or two passed before Max’s small voice filled the room.
“There’s–” she paused, tears flooding her eyes once again.
“There’s something that I never told you. Something that happened in Arcadia Bay,”
Safi listened intently, her eyes never leaving her face.
“The article, the one about Mark Jefferson, you’ve read it, right?”
Safi nodded. “I did, yeah. Some fucked up shit.”
Max took a deep breath. She had known that Safi would find out eventually, but that didn’t make it any easier to say it out loud.
“I was one of his victims,”
Time seemed to stand still after Max had uttered those words. She had never wanted anyone in Lakeport to find out about this, not even Safi, even though she was the only person she genuinely trusted. Max didn’t want people to see her as a victim, she didn’t want them to walk on eggshells around her, acting like she was broken, although lately, she felt like that’s exactly what she was. Broken. Shattered.
Now the secret was out, all because she couldn’t keep herself together.
So fucking pathetic.
Suddenly it felt like Max was suffocating again, the words getting stuck in her throat and all she managed to get out was a shaky gasp. She couldn’t breathe, her heart felt heavier than a ton of bricks and when she watched Safi’s expression turn into one of pure horror and sadness, something twisted in her gut.
“David Madsen, Chloe’s stepdad, was Blackwell’s head of security. He’s the one who saved me. I told him about Jefferson and the Dark Room and he fortunately found me in time, but—”
Her voice cracked.
“There were girls who lost their lives in that place. If David hadn’t found me, I could’ve been one of them.”
A heavy silence settled over the two of them.
Max looked away. She couldn’t bear the intensity of Safi’s gaze, the utter shock in her expression as Max revealed her deepest, darkest secret.
Once again, guilt began to gnaw at her. Max shouldn’t have just dropped this on Safi, it was way too huge of a burden, something that Max never wanted to be. After discovering her powers, she had constantly felt like a burden. She had thought that her doubts would go away someday if she stopped using her powers, but she was proven wrong.
Maybe this was how she was always gonna feel.
Safi inhaled.
“Shit, Max, I— I had no idea.” Her voice wavered.
Max shook her head.
“You weren’t supposed to. You were never supposed to find out in the first place. I kept it hidden for so long, I’m so sorry—”
“What? Hey, no, none of that,” Safi quickly shook her head and slid her hands down to Max’s shoulders.
“You have absolutely nothing to apologise for, you hear me?” The certainty in Safi’s voice left no room for argument.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I didn’t want you to think any less of me,” Max confessed, her voice so small and broken it made Safi’s heart sting.
“Max,” Safi blurted out in disbelief. “Listen to me,” She leaned in, their foreheads touching. “I think the world of you, Max. And there is nothing— absolutely fucking nothing— that is ever going to change that. Especially if it’s something that has happened to you which was completely out of your control. It wasn’t your fault, Max. You were a victim and it doesn’t make me think any less of you. On the contrary, it just makes me realise how fucking strong you are. I love you so much, Max.”
Max couldn’t hold back anymore. A painful sob escaped her mouth, hot tears freely flowing down her flushed cheeks. Safi’s arms were around her in a heartbeat. She cradled Max’s head, whispering gentle reassurances as the other woman wailed.
“Shh, I’ve got you. Just let it out. You don’t have to hide it anymore,” Her lips brushed over Max’s temple.
“I’m right here. You’re safe with me.”
“I keep reliving it,” Max sobbed. “It can’t let it go. It gets so overwhelming—”
“I know, I know. I’m here. You don’t have to do this alone,”
Max grabbed a fist of Safi’s shirt. She was holding onto her for dear life, her fingers clenching around the fabric.
“I was so terrified. It was so cold and he— I thought I was gonna die,” Max gasped for air. “He killed people, Safi— He shot Chloe, he nearly killed me,”
Max’s entire body was trembling. Safi tightened her grip, pulling Max as close as humanly possible.
“He’s in jail. He is right where he belongs. He’s going to rot in there for the rest of his life. He can’t hurt you anymore, Max.”
“I got lucky. So many others didn’t,” Max whimpered. “I just wish someone had found out sooner—”
“Max, this wasn’t your fault,” Safi repeated. “None of it was. He was a sick bastard with an obsession for young girls and was in a powerful position. You were a victim just like all those other girls. You could’ve done nothing to prevent it.”
“You made it out of there, Max. You survived,” Safi pulled away slightly so she could look into Max’s eyes.
“And you know what that makes you? The strongest person in the fucking world.”
Safi pressed a kiss to Max’s forehead.
“You have no idea how proud I am of you,” Safi said sincerely. “I love you, Max.”
Max looked up at the other woman.
“Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
Max sighed and rested her forehead against Safi’s.
“I love you, Safi. I’m so sorry.”
“Shh, there’s nothing to be sorry for. I’ve got you,”
“Always.”
The two of them remained like this for a while. Max just let Safi hold her, let her be her one true source of comfort in a time like this. Safi never let go of Max, not even for a second. She continued to hold her tightly, occasionally running a hand through her hair or brushing soft kisses against her temple. Safi’s soft promises were a constant reminder that Max was safe, that Safi would have her, always. Safi’s sweet whispers were like a soothing balm for her broken soul.
Later at night, when the two of them lay in bed, Safi’s front pressed snugly against Max’s back, her arms wrapped safely around her waist. The last thing that Max heard before finally drifting off to a much needed sleep, was Safi’s voice.
“I’ll always love you, Max. No amount of nightmares can ever change that.”