Chapter Text
The hotel that Hakari and Kirara had been squatting in was barely holding it together. The plaster in the lobby was cracked and half the chairs were falling apart, but they’d assured the group that it had running water and electricity which was the minimum requirements for proper lodging at this point. Their small group split up when it was obvious they couldn’t stay up much longer - especially with their plans for the Culling Game finally cemented. Hakari and Kirara took one room, Panda took another, and when Yuuji found a room that was occupied by two beds, Megumi followed after him.
There wasn’t any question about the why of it. Megumi hadn’t left Yuuji out of his sight since they’d been reunited, and it wasn’t like they were strangers to sleeping in the same quarters. In fact, before everything went to shit, it wasn’t uncommon for Yuuji to sneak into Megumi’s room at night when nightmares made it impossible to sleep.
He’d pad into Megumi’s room without even knocking, and the dark haired boy would be waiting, lifting up the covers of his blanket to allow Yuuji to snuggle in. Neither of them could really pinpoint the moment that this habit was established, only that it had started out early, and they never spoke about it. Not even when they’d wake up with their limbs tangled together, heads touching and arms embracing, sharing their breath.
Yuuji stretched as Megumi turned on the light, and before they’d made any other movement, Megumi pointed at the bed. “Take a seat, I need to clean you up. You look like shit after that beating from Hakari.”
Yuuji crinkled his nose. “It was hardly a beating. I’m barely bleeding, see?” He raised his head to present the tissue that was still stuffed up one of his nostrils, kindly supplied by Kirara once Hakari had been convinced that punching Yuuji in the face was enough to constitute joining their mission. Megumi tugged the tissue out in a rough motion that made Yuuji wince. Megumi tsked and held up his evidence: the tissue was still soaked in blood.
“I’m gonna grab a towel, don’t move.”
It was a useless order, Yuuji fidgeted while he listened to Megumi shift around the bathroom, running water over one of the provided washcloths. His fingers drummed against his knees, his feet kicked against the bed. Despite the hour, he was still running on the adrenaline of the fight, and the excitement of a successful gameplan for the games. When Megumi reappeared, he knelt before his friend to take a closer inspection at his nose - which had taken the brunt of the blows.
Gingerly, the towel dabbed against broken skin, tinging the white fabric pink, and with a hesitant hand, Megumi touched Yuuji's nosebridge with the pads of his fingers. “What the hell are your bones made of that your nose isn’t shattered?” he grumbled, satisfied there wasn’t a break. Yuuji tried to wiggle his nose. It was sore, but nothing he wasn’t familiar with.
“Dunno, I’ve never broken a bone before.”
Megumi tsked again. “Of course. You punch through walls and barely break a sweat.” A smirk pulled at his lips. There was some comfort in knowing how sturdy Yuuji was.
Once the rest of the blood was wiped away and Megumi determined none of the scrapes needed additional aid, he rose to his full height and cleared his throat. Yuuji looked up at him curiously, expecting him to talk. When there was a lull of silence, Yuuji tore his eyes away. “About what you said before, about us sticking together through the games-”
“Don’t start on that again.” He already sounded annoyed, tossing the towel aside.
“I’m not! I just think you aren’t using logic here!” Yuuji pleaded, his face contorted - begging Megumi to see some reason. To understand exactly why he was so worried. Megumi didn’t have Sukuna in his head prowling and plotting. Megumi didn’t realize that every minute they spent together, he was in danger. Megumi didn’t realize how powerless Yuuji felt.
“And you are? Mr. Let’s-Get-My-Face-Beaten-In-To-Prove-A-Point?”
Yuuji soured. “That was different.” Megumi rolled his eyes.
“I’m just saying that I’m not safe to be around, especially when it comes to you. Sukuna wants you for something, and whatever it is, I know it’s bad news. Why can’t you trust me on this?” Sunkuna had been oddly quiet since Shibuya, which did little to calm him. He was just biding his time. For what, Yuuji didn’t want to find out.
Megumi pressed his lips together. “It doesn’t mean I don’t trust you. Why don’t you trust me to be able to handle whatever it is he’s planning? I honestly don’t care what Sukuna wants with me. I’m just trying to make it through the games with the people I love intact.”
Yuuji eyed him skeptically. “The people you love?” Megumi rolled his eyes again and took a deep breath.
“Yes, you idiot. Love, care about, whatever.” He grumbled, breaking their eye contact to kick at the carpet awkwardly.
Yuuji was silent for a moment while he digested this information. Love wasn’t a word that Megumi just threw around. Even getting him to admit he cared about someone seemed to be an impossible feat, though now with so many dead, it seemed more important to express those sorts of sentiments. Before Shabuya, there’s no way that Yuuji would admit to loving Nobara, but now that she was gone, what other way could he describe their friendship?
That had to be it. The love of a friend. And Yuuji was his friend, who he loved as a friend. Of course. He wanted to save Tsumiki because she’s his sister, Gojo because he’s his mentor, and Yuuji because he was his friend. That explanation didn’t sit right with him, though. Something heavy in his chest felt like that didn’t explain everything. Not after the nights they’d spent curled up together, Megumi gently rubbing his back while Yuuji trembled through his nightmares. Not after he’d pulled Yuuji out of his deepest spiral of grief and shame. Not after he looked over Yuuji like he was prepared to trade his life for his own. He chewed on the inside of his cheek.
“Maybe I’m just trying to protect the people I love, too. I was serious about what I said to Okkotsu. I want to be killed if Sukuna takes over again. I can’t let anything happen to you.” His tone was steady. Honest. Their eyes locked. Yuuji could get lost in the forest of Megumi’s eyes. They were intense. Searching for an answer to a question he hadn’t asked.
Megumi stiffened. There was a beat of silence, the stagnant air suddenly feeling charged as they both took in the fact that Yuuji was willing to die to save Megumi, something that he hadn’t bargained for when he’d initially asked to be saved.
”And I was serious, too.” Megumi answered sternly. “You can die after I’m dead. I’m not going to lose you either.” It was Yuuji’s turn to stiffen.
They weren’t going to get anywhere in this argument tonight, they’d go around in circles until they were blue in the face. Yuuji had already relented in sticking together when they entered the games tomorrow, regardless of how he felt. He’d lost the battle of keeping Megumi away, of keeping him safe, and that was a price he wasn’t prepared to pay. Yuuji felt the fight leave his body and he slumped over, resting his elbows on his knees while he ran his hands over his face.
“Fine.” He muttered, though it was clear he wasn’t happy. How could he be?
Another beat of silence passed between them.
“But don’t think I won’t do everything in my power to save you. Regardless of what that means for me.”
Megumi sighed and sat down next to Yuuji, nodding silently. Their thighs and shoulders bumped as they took in their reality. He wasn’t going to shoot back that he would do the same. They both knew it already, there was no point in starting that fight again. Absently, Yuuji lowered his hands, and slotted one of them into Megumi’s. It was a far cry from the amount of touching they’d done before, but it felt different somehow. Neither of them were clouded with sleep, they weren’t tearing away from each other once it was obvious they had to face the rest of the world. They simply accepted the familiar touch. Megumi squeezed his hand.
“Things are going to change after tonight.” Megumi noted solemnly. “We’re not going to have chances to stop and breathe, we’ll have to be on guard all the time.” Yuuji nodded, squeezing Megumi’s hand back.
“So what are you saying?” His voice was cautious, and his amber eyes met unyielding emerald.
Megumi shrugged. “Just appreciate this while it lasts, I guess. A sort of normal night.”
Yuuji smirked. “Our version of normal?” He asked with a playful expectancy. Megumi rolled his eyes, as if he was annoyed, but there was no mirth when he replied “Sure.”
The boys shed the clothes in preparation for bed, no longer scandalized by seeing each other in nothing but their boxers. They were long past that point. Turning out the light and crawling into the bed, they fell into comfortable positions immediately, a well practiced choreography of Megumi’s arms wrapped around Yuuji’s middle and Yuuji’s arms slung over Megumi’s neck. Their legs tangled together, combining warmth for maximum coziness. Megumi pressed his forehead to Yuuji’s while the other took in a deep breath of their shared air. Megumi smelt like pine, citrus, and something that was uniquely him. It was an aroma that always put Yuuji at ease. This was simple, natural even. Like they were built to fit together like this. For a moment they laid in familiar comfort, as though they could pretend they were still in their dorm rooms, and their biggest concern was Yuuji’s nightmares.
After a minute of steady silence, Yuuji nuzzled in closer to Megumi, his face burying itself in his neck. “What do we do if we get separated?” He whispered it like a secret, a fear that had just seeded itself in his mind now that silence had left him alone with his thoughts. Megumi hummed in thought.
“We’ll find each other. I know we will. And we have the same goal - we’ll be looking for the same sorcerer, we’ll end up in the same place.” He sounded sure of himself, enough so that it almost tricked Yuuji into believing him, but it wasn’t enough to keep his brain from nagging him.
Yuuji allowed silence to pass between them again, his mind still working in overdrive. To combat it, he moved impossibly closer, his nose brushing against Megumi’s while he took in another deep breath, letting Megumi’s scent wash over him. “If this is our last chance at normal, we should take advantage of that right?” His voice was steady, but quiet. Words only for Megumi to hear. “Do things we’d regret not doing if we get separated or something.” Despite the darkness, Yuuji could almost feel the heated flush on Megumi’s face.
“Don’t.” Megumi’s voice was weaker, as if he was fighting himself to say it. “Not now. Not because you think we might die before we get the chance.”
“You said this might be our last chance” Yuuji whispered against his skin. In the lull of darkness and steady breathing, it felt so obvious now. The boy who he clung to, who was clinging to him back, he never wanted to let him go. He could never let him go. The realization was hitting him like a freight train, a spiral of ‘When did I start to feel this way?’ followed by ‘I think I’ve always felt this way.’
Megumi swallowed thickly.
“I don’t want it like this, Itadori.” He sounded pained, like it took all his effort to deny what Yuuji was suggesting. “Don’t use the situation as an excuse to do something you wouldn’t have done on your own.”
“Maybe I would have done it on my own.” Yuuji breathed, hot air ghosting against Megumi’s flesh.
Megumi was silent at that. And after a beat of them doing nothing but laying face to face in the darkness, he nodded in resignation. Yuuji closed in what little space was left between them, connecting their lips. At first, Megumi was tense in the touch, but soon he was kissing back, squeezing at Yuuji’s sides to encourage him further. Their noses bumped and Yuuji attempted to tilt his head, but Megumi’s hand moved up to cup his cheek and guide him into a more comfortable position. It was warm, and electrifying, sending a bolt through Yuuji’s spine. The closeness of it, the natural intimacy. Why hadn’t he done this sooner? They’d wasted so much time when they could have done this since the beginning.
He intended it to be a chaste kiss. Something they could look back on fondly if things went south, but Yuuji couldn’t help but deepen it. He’d only seen people kiss in movies and on TV, so when he opened his mouth, he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to slip his tongue in or allow Megumi to make the move. It didn’t seem like Megumi was going to wait around on him to decide, as he was more than willing to oblige. What started out as sweet affection was soon becoming messy and desperate. Spit and tongue and teeth working together to ignite the spark they’d both been denying. Lips that were chapped from exhaustion were now swollen and slick, pushing further into each other so that nothing could possibly separate them.
Yuuji moaned into the kiss, his tongue exploring every inch of Megumi’s mouth. He sucked on his tongue, he nipped at his lip. He needed to taste him and commit that taste to memory so every time he thought of him it was ingrained into the thought.
Something in Yuuji ached for more, commanding him to take everything Megumi was willing to give him. Heat coiled into his stomach, his fingers lacing through Megumi’s hair and closing into a fist. Megumi murmured a moan and it only egged Yuuji on more. He parted their lips to trace his jaw in hungry kisses, then settled on Megumi’s neck where he nipped and licked. He tasted like sweat and desperation, and Yuuji was high off of it. His hips collided into Megumi’s, thigh bumping between his legs. A shallow thrust gave them a taste of friction and Megumi keened, his head falling back. The heat was addicting, Yuuji needed more.
His fingers slid over Megumi’s abdomen, mapping every inch of skin in a way he’d never gotten the chance to before. They’d never touched like this when they laid in bed together, never considered that it could be anything more than innocent. But now, Yuuji was starved for an intimate touch, starved to make Megumi know that he was his. If they weren’t together, Megumi needed to know how he felt. Megumi slid his hand through Yuuji’s hair, taking a fistfull of pink as Yuuji’s lips traveled south, mouthing over his pecks and tonguing one of his nipples. Megumi gasped.
Experimentally, Yuuji’s hands dipped down, one of them gripping his ass and the other daring to roam past the elastic of his boxers, but Megumi startled, grabbing his wrist so hard there was a smack of skin at the contact.
“Itadori” His breathing was ragged, voice low. For a moment they stared at each other while the room filled with the sound of their panting breaths.
Megumi swallowed and rested his forehead against Yuuji’s, removing his hands from where they were stationed, moving them up between them. “We’ve done enough. We shouldn’t-”
“Megumi, I need to tell you something-” You need to know I love you.
Megumi pulled away, leaving an ache that hurt far more than Hakari’s relenting blows to the face. Yuuji whimpered at the loss of contact, trying to scoot towards him, but Megumi steeled away.
“I told you, I don’t want to do this just because we’re putting ourselves in danger. You’re acting like this is the last night of our lives. Don’t say anything you might want to take back later.” Megumi took a deep breath to steady his breathing, but even with the distance, Yuuji knew his heart was racing. He could deny it, but he’d wanted it too.
“I won’t want to take it back.” Yuuji pleaded. He was sure of it. He’d just needed the encouragement, it wasn’t until now that he realized how deeply his feelings ran. He didn’t realize that being with Megumi was like being home, that curled up in bed with him was the safest he’d ever felt. Now he wanted to express it. Yuuji wasn’t one to sit on his feelings. He acted on them, he jumped once he felt it, but Megumi was denying him.
Megumi cautiously moved into him, carefully wrapping an arm around Yuuji, but his face remained at a distance, like he was scared Yuuji was going to try and kiss him again. His touch burned where his fingers cupped his shoulder, and his hand laid over his hip. Yuuji wanted to take those hands and kiss them, but he knew that would just push Megumi further away. “I want you to be sure about this. You aren’t in the right headspace.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Yuuji gawked.
“It means only a couple days ago you made Okkotsu promise to murder you if you lost control. We shouldn’t do this while you’re preparing to die.” There was bitterness in Megumi’s voice, a resentment at the deal that had been struck in front of him.
Yuuji scowled, but pushed forward to rest his head on Megumi’s shoulder. To his surprise, Megumi brushed a hand up his neck, gently massaging the back of his head. Yuuji’s eyes fell closed and he sighed, taking in every bit of Megumi’s scent. If only they could stay wrapped up in each other forever. If only they didn’t have a million things to worry about, including dying. Now that he knew he loved Megumi, that door couldn’t be shut. It would always be in the back of his mind. It would be nice to be able to say it, and possibly hear it back. It could be something he could cling to, should Okkotsu need to make good on his word.
“I don’t want to die with regret.”
It was Megumi’s turn to sigh. “Then don’t die.”
Yuuji blinked in the darkness, meeting Megumi’s unwavering eyes. They told him they’d make it through this. They told him not to worry. They told him that in the end, he’d be there waiting for him. Megumi ran his fingers through Yuuji’s hair, and the younger boy hummed with contentment. They shouldn’t be arguing, not when they’d be entering the games in a matter of hours. So, despite wanting to protest further, Yuuji nodded in agreement. He’d live for Megumi.
Their legs intertwined innocently, once again, and Yuuji resumed his koala hold on Megumi. They settled back into their familiar positions. Megumi’s breath ticked against his skin, evening out as the world became heavy around them. The only sound in the room was their steady breathing, and pressed in close Megumi, Yuuji could feel the melodic tempo of his heart. Like his favorite song, eased the tension he was holding. Yuuji didn’t need to look at him to know Megumi’s eyes had fluttered closed - he’d had the same tells that sleep was coming since they first started sleeping together. And before Yuuji even realized it, he was following him into the depths of sleep.