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The hallway at Devil’s Kettle High smelled like floor wax and teenage desperation. Needy clutched her textbooks to her chest, weaving past a gaggle of freshmen who smelled like grape bubblegum and anxiety. She spotted Jennifer at her locker, all black hair and a cheerleading hoodie that hugged her curves just right. Jennifer was laughing at something Colin Gray was saying, but her eyes kept cutting toward Needy. That was new. Or maybe not new, but newly noticeable.
“Hey, Chip,” Needy mumbled as she passed him. He gave her a tight smile and a wave. They’d been a thing last year, but it had fizzled out before it really started. Now he was just a guy she sometimes shared awkward silence with in math class.
Jennifer slammed her locker shut and sauntered over, hips swaying like she owned the cracked linoleum. “Colin was just telling me about some band. They suck. You’d hate them.”
“Good to know,” Needy said, adjusting her glasses. “I’ll add them to the list of bands I’ll never listen to.”
Jennifer’s grin was sharp and bright. “Exactly.” She hooked her arm through Needy’s, pulling her close. “Walk me to class?”
“Always,” Needy said, because that’s what best friends did. They walked each other to class. They shared snacks. They sometimes fell asleep in the same bed after watching horror movies until dawn. That was just them. Jennifer’s hand lingered on Needy’s lower back, thumb stroking the fabric of her hoodie. Needy didn’t flinch. It was just Jennifer being Jennifer.
—
At lunch, Jennifer slid onto the bench beside Needy, their thighs pressed together. She’d brought Needy a chocolate milk, the kind with the foil top, even though Needy had packed her own. “You’re gonna need the energy,” Jennifer said, popping the straw through the foil for her.
“For what? Surviving Mr. Wroblewski’s lecture on the Gilded Age?” Needy took a sip. The milk was cold, perfect.
“No. For later.” Jennifer’s voice dropped, low and conspiratorial. “My parents are out. We can watch that movie you like. The one with the guy who gets his face ripped off.”
“Saw?” Needy joked.
Jennifer snorted, a real, unguarded sound that made Needy’s chest feel warm. “No, dummy. The other one. With Reese Witherspoon.”
“Freeway,” Needy said. “Yeah. Okay.”
Jennifer’s hand found her knee under the table, squeezing gently. Needy didn’t pull away. It was just Jennifer. Possessive, touchy, always a little too much. But it was their normal. Across the cafeteria, Chip was watching them, his brow furrowed. Needy ignored him. What did he know?
—
After school, Jennifer dragged Needy to the mall. “You need new jeans,” she declared, holding up a pair of dark wash skinnies. “These make your ass look amazing.”
Needy blushed, grabbing the jeans. “I don’t know, Jen. They’re probably expensive.”
“So? I’m buying.” Jennifer was already pulling out her dad’s credit card, the one he gave her for “emergencies.” Jennifer’s definition of emergency was loose and included anything that made Needy smile.
In the dressing room, Jennifer insisted on coming in with her. “I need to make sure they fit right,” she said, leaning against the door. Needy turned her back, pulling off her old jeans and tugging on the new ones. They were snug, hugging her hips and thighs in a way that felt both exposing and kind of nice.
“Turn around,” Jennifer said. Needy did, her cheeks burning. Jennifer’s eyes roamed over her, dark and appreciative. “Yeah. Definitely. We’re getting them.”
Jennifer’s fingers brushed against Needy’s waist as she adjusted the waistband. “See? Perfect.” Her touch lingered, and Needy’s breath hitched. It was just Jennifer. Just her best friend, being weirdly intense. That’s all.
—
At Jennifer’s house, they collapsed onto her bed, pizza boxes stacked on the nightstand. The movie played, but Needy wasn’t really watching. She was too aware of Jennifer beside her, of the way Jennifer’s leg was thrown over hers, of the way Jennifer’s fingers were tracing patterns on her arm.
“You’re quiet,” Jennifer murmured, her lips close to Needy’s ear.
“Just tired,” Needy lied.
Jennifer shifted, propping herself up on an elbow. Her hair fell over her shoulder, black silk against her pale skin. “You’ve been weird lately.”
“I have?” Needy’s heart started pounding. “How?”
“I don’t know. You just… you’re letting me do stuff.” Jennifer’s voice was soft, uncertain. “And you’re not running away.”
Needy blinked. “Why would I run away?”
Jennifer’s eyes searched hers. “I don’t know.”
Then Jennifer leaned in and kissed her. It wasn’t hard or demanding, just a soft press of lips, hesitant and sweet. Needy froze, her mind racing. This was new. This was different. But it was also Jennifer. And Jennifer had always been the center of her universe, the sun she orbited. So she kissed back, just as softly.
Jennifer pulled away, her cheeks flushed. “Sorry,” she whispered.
“Don’t be,” Needy said, because she didn’t know what else to say.
—
The next few weeks were a blur of touches and glances, of Jennifer buying her things and pulling her into her lap at parties. Needy didn’t question it. Best friends did weird stuff. Jennifer was just weird. But then Colin asked Jennifer to the winter formal, and Jennifer shot him down so fast it made Needy’s head spin.
“I thought you liked him,” Needy said later, while they were lying on Jennifer’s bed, staring at the ceiling.
“I like you,” Jennifer said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Needy’s stomach did a flip. “Yeah, but you can like more than one person.”
Jennifer rolled onto her side, propping her head up with her hand. “Not like that.”
Needy didn’t know what to say to that, so she didn’t say anything. Jennifer’s fingers found hers, lacing them together. “You’re my person, Needy. You know that, right?”
“Yeah,” Needy said, because she did know. She just didn’t know what Jennifer meant by it.
—
The misunderstanding came to a head one night, after Jennifer had kissed her again, this time deeper, more desperate. Needy’s lips were swollen, her body humming with something she couldn’t name.
“Jen?” she said, her voice shaky.
“Hmm?” Jennifer was nuzzling her neck, her hands roaming under Needy’s shirt.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
Needy took a deep breath. “Why haven’t we… you know… had sex?”
Jennifer froze. She pulled back, her eyes wide with panic. “What?”
“I just mean… if we’re… you know…” Needy trailed off, her face burning. “Aren’t you wondering why we haven’t done it?”
Jennifer looked like she was about to be sick. “Do you want to break up with me?”
“What?” Needy sat up, her heart racing. “No! Why would you think that?”
“Because you’re asking why we haven’t had sex!” Jennifer’s voice cracked. “Like you’re waiting for an excuse to leave!”
Needy stared at her, her mind reeling. “Leave? Jen, I’m not… I thought we were just… hanging out.”
Jennifer’s face crumpled. “Hanging out? Needy, I’ve been buying you stuff and kissing you and pulling you into my lap for months! I thought we were dating!”
Needy’s jaw dropped. “Dating?”
“Yes, dating!” Jennifer threw her hands up in frustration. “I thought we were just… one of those couples who didn’t need to talk about it! Like we just knew!”
Needy’s brain short-circuited. All the touches, the gifts, the possessive glances—it all clicked into place. Oh. Oh.
“Jen,” she said softly, reaching for her hand. “I… I didn’t know.”
Jennifer’s eyes filled with tears. “You didn’t know?”
“I thought you were just being… you,” Needy said, her voice barely a whisper. “I thought this was just what best friends do.”
Jennifer stared at her, her expression a mixture of hurt and disbelief. “Best friends don’t make out, Needy.”
“Some do?” Needy offered weakly.
Jennifer let out a watery laugh. “Not like this.”
Needy’s heart ached. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t know.”
Jennifer squeezed her hand, her thumb stroking her knuckles. “So… what now?”
Needy looked at her, at the girl who had been her everything for as long as she could remember. The girl who made her feel safe and seen and wanted, even when she didn’t understand it.
“I guess…” Needy took a deep breath. “I guess we’re dating now.”
Jennifer’s face lit up, hope dawning in her eyes. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Needy said, and then she leaned in and kissed her, hard and sure. Jennifer kissed back, her hands tangling in Needy’s hair, and for the first time, Needy felt like she was exactly where she was supposed to be.