Chapter Text
BREAKING: Attempted robbery at renowned hockey stars Hollander and Rozanov's home—caller was the robber himself!
Approximately 2:13 a.m. on Thursday, Ottawa officers responded to a call from a "Bruce Wayne"—name soon identified as false: Perpetrator's name was revealed by Ottawa's head detective as Jerry MacDonald; also revealed to have been recentally released for assault charges and 3 counts of attempted robbery—who called on accounts of "sexual harassment" and "attempted assault" from the owners of the said home he was robbing. Below is leaked bodycam footage from the Ottawa police department (Transcript found below video):
OTTAWA POLICE SERVICE
Body-Worn Camera Transcript
Occurrence #: 24-178563
Call Type: 459 – Break & Enter in Progress / Suspicious Person
Secondary Complaint (Caller Allegation): Indecent Act / Assault
Date: Thursday, June 19
Time: 03:51:14 EDT
Location: Private cottage property, rural Ottawa (West Carleton-March sector)
Primary Units: 613A21, 613A34
Supervisor Notified: Staff Sgt. 613S2
EMS on Scene: Ottawa Paramedic Service Unit M-42
[03:51:14]
Dash cam footage shows cruiser turning off March Road onto unpaved cottage access lane. Headlights illuminate OPP-style barrier tape and two parked OPS cruisers. Summer fog low over treeline. Approx. 14°C. Clear skies. Cicadas audible.
DISPATCH (earlier, 03:18 hrs):
“613A units respond to a 459 in progress. Caller reporting assault and sexual harassment at private residence. Caller states he is inside location. Complainant refusing to exit bathroom. Possible intox. No confirmed weapons. Use caution.”
[03:51:38 – Bodycam Activated]
Overlay text (white, upper left): BWC OFFICER #6 – CONSTABLE R. LAVOIE – BADGE 2741
Yellow timestamp bottom right.
Camera approaches male, approx. 5’9”, Caucasian, black hoodie, black jeans, wrapped in silver shock blanket. Two officers (613A34) supporting him at elbows. Subject visibly shaking, no visible injuries.
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Good morning sir. I’m Constable Lavoie with Ottawa Police. I just need your full legal name and date of birth before we get started.”
OFFICER (low voice, off-camera):
“Your real name.”
MACDONALD:
“…Jerry MacDonald. June 2nd, ’77.”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“MacDonald with an A?”
MACDONALD:
“Yes sir. With an A.”
[03:52:07 – Officer radio mic audible]
“Dispatch, 613A21. Confirming ID: Jerry MacDonald, DOB 1977-06-02.”
DISPATCH:
“10-4. Standby… Subject flagged CPIC. Prior charges: assault, three counts attempted B&E. Recently released on recognizance.”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Alright Mr. MacDonald. I have a few questions if you don’t mind.”
MACDONALD:
“I don’t.”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“So you contacted 911 at approximately 02:13 hours reporting ‘extreme public indecency’ and ‘sexual harassment.’ Can you explain what occurred?”
MACDONALD:
“Those [BLEEP]! I was walking by and heard this sound like someone was gasping for air. So I was like, ‘oh [BLEEP]. If someone dies then that'll be on me!’ Right?”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“…Continue.”
MACDONALD:
“So I slunked over to the door, avoiding clothes on the ground—”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Slunk?”
MACDONALD:
“—and opened it a-a-and they were [BLEEP] right there! [BLEEP]”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Sir...You understand this is a private residence. The homeowners are legally married. Consensual activity inside their own dwelling is not a criminal offence.”
MACDONALD:
“Yes but you don’t understand! They were [BLEEP] with [BLEEP] with a [BLEEP] and oh god they were [BLEEP] from the ceiling!”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“…From...the ceiling.”
MACDONALD:
“Yes! And they had a [BLEEP] and the Asian guy had the other guy in a [BLEEP] and was [BLEEP] him! Then he kept [BLEEP] a-a-and [BLEEP]. Sir it was horrible! I can’t stop seeing it. This is no [BLEEP] laughing matter!”
Second officer turns away from camera, shoulders visibly shaking.
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Understood. After witnessing this—activity—did you immediately contact police?”
MACDONALD:
“No! It was later after they [BLEEP] and saw me. Then they tried to attack me! That Asian guy came at me with the [BLEEP] after he [BLEEP] and the other guy was all like—”
Subject sobbing.
“‘Get him babe!’ ‘S-show him what happens to [BLEEP] boys—’”
Subject begins crying loudly.
[03:53:41 – Officer pauses, audible exhale]
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Alright Mr.—MacDonald—could you clarify what happened next?”
MACDONALD:
“I ran! I slipped on clothes and he was so close it gave me a [BLEEP] and I knew it had gone too far!”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“…A what?”
MACDONALD:
“A [BLEEP]! When you get a [BLEEP] after being [BLEEP] scared to death!”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Could you spell that for the record?”
MACDONALD:
“Yes. [BLEEEEEEEP]. A [BLEEP].”
Officer #34 audibly choking back laughter.
[03:54:22 – Camera pans briefly toward cottage]
Large lakeside property. Two luxury vehicles in drive. Front door frame splintered. Crowbar on porch. Hockey equipment visible inside mudroom. Two male homeowners inside with separate officer taking statements.
[Homeowner audio faintly overheard]
“He must have came through the back. We thought it was wildlife at first.”
“A stupid wolf-bird—”
“No. Ilya [BLEEP]. No, we did not pursue him with any object—”
"He swung bravely! It was very sexy—"
"[BLEEP] you [BLEEP] shut up!"
[03:55:01]
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Mr. MacDonald, were you aware of who owned this property?”
MACDONALD:
“No sir. I waited until lights were off. Big house means big money.”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“So you admit to entering the residence without permission.”
MACDONALD:
“I was checking on them!”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“You forced entry using a pry tool recovered at the scene. That constitutes Break and Enter under Section 348 of the Criminal Code.”
MACDONALD:
“Me?! What about them?!”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Mr. MacDonald, you are under arrest for Break and Enter and Attempted Theft Over $5,000.”
Officer secures wrists behind back with handcuffs, double-locks.
CONST. LAVOIE (Charter Caution):
“You have the right to retain and instruct counsel without delay. You have the right to free and immediate legal advice from duty counsel. Do you understand?”
MACDONALD:
“He was going to [BLEEP] beat me with the [BLEEP]! He gave me a [BLEEP]! That’s harassment!”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“Do you understand your rights?”
MACDONALD:
“I got a [BLEEP] you [BLEEP]!”
CONST. LAVOIE:
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
[03:57:12]
Subject escorted to cruiser 613A21 rear seat. Seatbelt applied per policy. Vehicle search conducted prior to placement.
OFFICER #34 (quietly, off-mic but audible):
“From the [BLEEP] ceiling?”
SECOND OFFICER:
“They are professional athletes.”
[04:02:45 – Supplemental Note]
Homeowners declined medical attention. No injuries observed. Statement confirms suspect entered property uninvited via rear access door. No physical contact occurred between suspect and homeowners.
Supervisor cleared scene 04:18 hrs.
END OF LEAKED TRANSCRIPT