Work Text:
Kuko and Jyushi have a problem.
Well, actually, it’s less of a problem and more of a question. For a few weeks now, Hitoya has been acting beyond weird. Firstly, he’s been on his phone more, yet swiftly pockets it when either of his teammates are even in the room. Secondly, he’s been keeping odd hours, being late to agreed meetings with Kuko and Jyushi, not having any reasonable explanations sans some obviously fake admittance to work hang-ups. And thirdly, he’s been happy. Hitoya is not a miserable person, not even really a melancholy one. But he’s not often outwardly happy, except on pay day. However, he’s been smiling more, fueling his raps with more oomph, and one time he even brought donuts to a team meeting. They were day-olds, but still. Donuts.
And so, the two remaining (somewhat) normal-acting members of Bad Ass Temple sit out on the porch at Kuko’s monastery as the summer cicadas sing among the trees. They’re both relaxed, made amiable by the bright sun, though melting slightly.
Jyushi kicks his legs over the grass as he sits on the edge of the porch and Kuko violently fans himself, the July heat sweltering even in the shade.
Kuko sniffs, wiping sweat from his brow.
“Yo, Jyushi. Question,” he says, though the heat has sapped his usual aggression.
“Hmmm,” Jyushi hums in response. He pulls his hair up into a bun, trying anything at all to avoid the heat.
Stretching his arms in front of himself, Kuko speaks through a yawn.
“Hitoya been acting weird to you? Like, recently?”
Jyushi thinks for a moment, then bobs his head.
“Eehh, I suppose so. He’s been distracted lately… I have been wondering why.” He thinks for a moment longer, then his eyebrows press together as he turns to Kuko.
“Kuko-san, what if he’s quitting? He always says that he’s tired of us, and what if… what if he really means it? He doesn’t want to be in Bad Ass Temple anymore?”
“He does gripe a lot…” Kuko muses, then shakes his head. “Hell no, he ain’t quittin’! He’d make a real big dramatic stink about it, right? Or we’d know by now. He ain’t the type to quit without saying anything. He’s too damn prideful for that.”
Jyushi deflates, nodding.
“You’re right, he wouldn’t… then, what’s wrong with him?”
Kuko shrugs.
“Hell if I know. I don’t like this shit, though. He oughta be a man and come clean. This team’s supposed to be honest with each other. And plus, he’s a grown adult, can’t he act like it?”
Jyushi, with all the earthly wisdom of eighteen years, agrees with the great and noble wisdom of Kuko’s own nineteen.
“Well, um, we could just ask him…?” He says hopefully, winning a shrug as Kuko moves his head from side to side.
“Mmm, I dunno. He wouldn’t tell us, I don’t think. Remember how long it took to figure out his birthday? Had to confront him with a copy of his birth certificate.”
Jyushi giggles behind his hand.
“I still have no idea how you got that, Kuko-san. Oh, the look on his face, it was too funny,” he trails off into soft laughter. Kuko scoffs good-naturedly in remembrance.
“I guess we’re just gonna have to figure it out ourselves. Detective shit. How hard can it be?”
Jyushi nods, his face set in determination.
“Let’s tail Hitoya! Like they do in spy movies!” he announces with bravado. Kuko’s eyes light up.
“Oooh… I like that. Tailing the old man. We find him and catch him red handed!” Kuko pummels his palm with a fist. “At whatever he’s doing!”
They quiet for a moment. Jyushi turns to Kuko, his eyebrows pushed together.
“Um, what do we think he’s doing?”
Right now, Hitoya is out sitting in a dusty old diner, checking his watch out of compulsion. He’s early, as usual, but he can’t fight his shifting glance. If anyone saw him with his present company, well, there would be a lot of questions asked. Hitoya just hopes on his last lucky star that his good luck doesn’t run out quite yet.
Jinguji Jakurai sits on the other side of the booth, stirring a straw around in a strawberry milkshake. His chin rests on his hand and he leans slightly to the side, a picture of elegance and relaxation. He’s beautiful as always. Twirling the plastic around, his gaze shifts up to Hitoya, who fidgets with his hands in his lap. He is trying his best to look nonplussed, relaxed as well, but his barely hidden scowl disputes this illusion.
“Hitoya,” Jakurai says gently. “Are you uncomfortable? Would you like to leave?”
Hitoya startles, then shakes his head.
“No, no, I’m good. Sorry. What were you talking about?”
Jakurai tilts his head, his expression a little concerned.
“Are you sure? Something is obviously bothering you. I’m here to listen, if you want,” he said. “As your friend,” he adds, “Not as a doctor. I saw you close up once I said that.”
Hitoya sighs, squeezing the bridge of his nose.
“Listen, Jakurai. I…” he grit his teeth, taking in a sharp breath. “I want to keep seeing you. If you want to keep seeing me, I mean. But if we do, keep seeing each other, that is, I guess I’m worried about being spotted.”
Jakurai opened his mouth to reply, but Hitoya cut him off with a shake of his head as he held out his hand.
“Damn, that sounded stupid,” he said. “I’m talking about our teammates seeing us, chatting casually like we aren’t rivals.” Hitoya made air quotes to emphasize the silliness of the word.
“Honestly, in Kuko’s perspective, more like mortal enemies. And Jyushi would think something dramatic like I’m betraying them or something. They… they’re a lot. They can be a lot. And I don’t want our battles to be in the way of our personal lives, you know? I’ve just had this feeling that the kids know something’s different. I dunno, I just… don’t want it to come out the wrong way.”
Jakurai nods thoughtfully.
“I understand where you’re coming from. Hifumi and Doppo, well… neither of them would have the best ideas if they simply saw us talking together without any explanation. They might think I’d betrayed them too, or something of the sort,” he replies with a small laugh, trailing off.
“But none of them are here right now.” he says quietly, reaching his hand across the table, palm up. Hitoya hesitates for a moment, then places his hand in Jakurai’s and squeezes. The doctor’s eyes are warm and caring, and Hitoya feels himself relax.
“Let’s enjoy ourselves, alright? No thinking of divisions or our teammates. Or work, for that matter. I saw you checking your phone earlier,” he adds with a chuckle, and Hitoya smiles sheepishly.
“Right now, we are two ordinary men enjoying each other’s company on a lovely day. That’s more than enough for me.”
Hitoya nods, shoulders relaxing.
“Enough for me too,” he breathes out.
Hours later, Hitoya has either forgotten or willfully ignored Jakurai’s words, for he is hunched over his desk, light dim in the evening dark, squinting over paperwork. His eyes begin to feel heavy, so he sends one of his assistants a quick text, asking if she could bring him some coffee, then go straight home, with a little bonus for her overtime work. He waits for some time, reading the characters that begin to blur, and when he aches for caffeine he finally gets out of his chair and walks from his office into the lobby, which is entirely empty. Ah. Right. He sent his assistant home early, not thinking he had much work to do. He trudges over to the coffee maker and sets about getting it ready to brew a cup as the door creaks open, loud enough for him to make a mental reminder (again) to oil the hinge. He also needs to replace the lock.
“I’m not in the mood right now, you little miscreants,” he says brusquely, expecting Jyushi and Kuko. They have a terrible but endearing habit of showing up to his office when he needs to get work done, but he’s realized his expectation is wrong as he turns his gaze up to the entryway.
“I’m hurt,” Jakurai says, smiling. “I bring you what you ask for, and this is my warm response?”
He holds two coffee cups and a small paper bag, and Hitoya immediately feels the urge to crumple up and stick himself into the filing cabinet, right in the very back.
After a moment of bewildered and embarrassed silence from Hitoya, Jakurai sets down his spoils, pulling his phone out of his jacket pocket. A lovely black linen jacket, Hitoya notices as he begins to come to his senses, that he hasn’t seen before.
Jakurai clears his throat, holding out his phone in front of him.
“Get me coffee please. Vision going. Lots of sugar though please.”
Hitoya closes his eyes.
“I am so sorry, Jakurai,” he says, running a hand over his hair. “That was meant for my assistant. Jesus, did I drag you out of work all the way over here for my sorry ass?”
Jakurai laughs softly, walking over to Hitoya and handing him a cup. Its scent wafts through the air, though it’s a more earthy, lighter scent. It's definitely not coffee.
“I finished up work early. And I really don’t mind being your errand boy,” he said with a small grin as Hitoya dragged a hand over his face. “Though it is late to be drinking coffee. So I got you green tea. It’s wonderful for digestion.”
“Ah, Jakurai, I really appreciate the gesture,” Hitoya hesitates, the words looking almost painful to get out. “But I really am swamped. I need to work just for a little longer, but I really appreciate the drink.”
“That’s not all,” Jakurai continues. He picks up the bag and pulls out a decadent looking piece of chocolate cake. “I remember you saying something recently about your favorite dessert being chocolate cake? And I saw this at the coffee shop, I couldn’t not get it. It really looked divine.”
He opens the case and pulls out a plastic fork, walking over to Hitoya. He’s taller than Hitoya, so he has to look down at the lawyer through a curtain of hair, eyes warm with fondness.
“Here,” he spears a small piece of cake onto the fork, and lifts it to Hitoya’s mouth. Hitoya’s eyes are ever so slightly widened, and he looks at Jakurai like he’s the only thing in the room.
Hitoya opens his mouth and takes the bite, chewing it and swallowing hard. It’s a simple thing, really, for them to slowly lean together and close the space between them in a warm and tender kiss. After what seems like milliseconds to Hitoya, Jakurai slowly leans back. He smiles.
“It’s really a delicious cake,” he says, and Hitoya grabs the front of his jacket and pulls their mouths together again.
20 minutes later, and Hitoya has certainly gotten no work done. Alas, he has been too busy focusing on kissing every uncovered piece of skin on Jakurai’s body and practically making the doctor melt. The files on his desk have been entirely disorganized and some have fallen to the floor, but honestly, Hitoya doesn’t really care. He can print out new copies.
“Hitoya,” Jakurai mumbles softly, sighing as Hitoya kisses a freckle under his jaw. It’s almost surprising to see a blemish on the doctor’s skin; he seems to come from a mold, from perfect packaging. But it’s lovely, these little dots of pigment on his skin, and they can serve as targets for attention, and they certainly do. Hitoya finally pushes Jakurai’s jacket off his arms and it falls onto the floor, Jakurai wrapping his arms tighter around the lawyer as they kiss passionately. Hitoya’s lips move from Jakurai’s to his jaw again, and then down, down, and his hands reach up under Jakurai’s shirt, and Jakurai moans, and-
There’s the unmistakable noise of the front door of the office slamming, and the two freeze.
“Fuck,” Hitoya mouths to Jakurai, his eyes wide, face flushed. People this late, and with a door slam that violent, could only mean one thing.
“Teammates.”
Jakurai’s eyes widen a little as well, and he unwinds himself from Hitoya as quietly as he can and looks around the room before spotting the small bookshelf in the room that sticks out from the wall, and slides himself behind it just so, and as soon as he does, there’s a bang on the door.
“Yo!” Kuko calls from behind the metal. “Shit-head lawyer! Let’s go get dinner!”
Hitoya frantically tries to straighten his hair and clothes, looking like he hadn’t been making out with one of his opponents less than a minute ago. Jyushi mumbles worriedly to Kuko.
“Don’t be so rude, Kuko-san…”
Kuko obviously doesn’t seem bothered, so he throws the door open.
“Hey! Did you hear me? Let’s- Jesus, man, what happened to your office?”
Hitoya realizes it’s an absolute mess, and blinks.
“I dropped my folder,” he says, and instantly regrets it. Dropping a folder? What kind of stupid lie is that?!
“Okay…” Kuko trails off, raising an eyebrow. “Well, Jyushi and I were in the area, and are stopping by to get some food, and being the nice and generous people we are, we wanted to see if you wanted to join.”
“You mean front the bill?” Hitoya says, crossing his arms. He pointedly does not look towards the bookshelf. He closes off all thoughts about the bookshelf and what is near it.
“Ha!” Kuko says, barking a laugh. He walks around Hitoya’s office, fiddling with the little knick-knacks on his desk. Please don’t go to the bookshelf. What’s a bookshelf? Why would you ever go over there?
“You got me, old man,” he leans on the file cabinet. “But still, I’m offering an invitation! Wanna go or not?”
Hitoya feels a bead of sweat drip down his neck. These two are going to be the death of him.
“You know what, I’ll meet you guys there. Text me the address. I just need a little bit to finish up.” he replies. Jyushi stands politely in the entrance of the room, but Kuko keeps moving, walking around until he is too close for comfort near the bookshelf and the hidden leader of Matenrou. But Hitoya thanks every one of his lucky stars and whatever gods are on his side and not Kuko’s for once when Kuko steps back, shoving his hands into his pockets.
“You got it,” he says, turning on his heel. “By the way, you’re looking a little rough. Freshen up, man. I know it’s been a long day, but jeez…”
“See you in a little, Hitoya-san!” Jyushi says, smiling brightly at him and waving. Hitoya forces a smile at the two until the door clicks, and then he actually breathes.
“They’re gonna give me a heart attack one day. I swear to God,” he rasps out.
“Good thing you know a doctor,” Jakurai says as he emerges from his hiding spot. He smiles and brushes his hair out of his face, and Hitoya notices that his face is still quite red, his hair mussed. He looks as close to mortified as Hitoya has ever seen him.
The lawyer shakes his head.
“They’re such idiots. But also too smart for their own good. Why I ever agreed to be Bad Ass Temple’s babysitter is beyond me.”
Jakurai tilts his head a little to the side.
“I think it’s sweet. They care about you a lot, not just as a teammate, but as a friend.” He moves to sit on Hitoya’s desk as the lawyer pushes around a few notebooks, avoiding his eyes.
“That’s partially why you three work so well as a division. You’re close, and that means that you support one another. Lift each other up, and, just as importantly, bring each other down when you get a little ahead of yourself. You work to keep each other in stasis. You’re like a family, isn’t that what you say?”
Hitoya huffs out a laugh.
“Those two get ahead of themselves every damn day.” He sighs. “You’re right, I guess. But they still need to learn about personal space and privacy. If there’s two things I hate, the first thing is grapefruit juice. The second thing is little brats getting up in my business.”
“Little brats who love you,” Jakurai reminds. “And you don’t mind other people getting in your business, do you? Or does it apply to everyone?”
Hitoya laughs, tipping his face down to hide the slight blush on his cheeks.
“Only if they’ve got a good reason to be in my business,”
Jakurai bends his head to meet Hitoya’s eyes, smiling sweetly, but the spark in his eyes offer a different sort of message.
“I assure you, I have only very good reasons.”
Kuko stands outside in the hallway, waiting for Jyushi to fix his hair in the bathroom, which is taking forever. He pops a hard candy into his mouth and rolls it around, the strawberry flavor coating his mouth and the candy clicking against his teeth. Jyushi finally emerges, looking very much the same if only a little more put-together, but his eyebrows are pushed together, and his eyes look a little red. He steps next to Kuko, wringing his hands together.
“Oi. Spit it out.” Kuko says, startling Jyushi.
“Um, well… When Hitoya was in the office…”
Kuko lifts an eyebrow.
“Okay?”
“He… there were, um, two cups… two cups on the desk! And a coat!” Jyushi exclaims. Kuko furrows his brows.
“Okay?” he repeats. He thinks. He understands.
“Oh shit!” Kuko yells. “He’s having an affair or something! He looked all freaked out and shit and like, messed up! Oh shit!”
Jyushi bursts into tears.
“He, he hates us! Bad Ass Temple is over! We’re never gonna win the DRB because we won't have a teaaammmm!”
“Shut up! Shut up! Lemme think!” Kuko screws his face together, concentrating a far shade of his normal meditation, instead it’s much more angry and desperate cousin. Jyushi’s wailing stops, the silence only broken by the occasional sniff.
There’s a long, tense moment of silence before Kuko speaks again, his tone even.
“Let’s corner him,” he says, eyes scarily calm and focused. Jyushi feels a shiver roll up his spine.
“Let’s corner him and ask him straight up. Put stuff in his face he can’t deny. And if he does, you’ll turn on the waterworks, and I’ll give him the tough guy act, and we’ll squeeze the truth outta him. His whole damn life revolves around the truth, he can’t escape it that easy!”
“Kuko-san, that was a cool line,” Jyushi mumbles. “But are we sure this will work? I don’t want him getting mad at us, or feeling bad or uncomfortable…” Jyushi’s eyes are already beginning to take on a dangerous shimmer, so Kuko vigorously shakes his head.
“We’re a team! We have to tell each other the truth. No matter what. “Three things cannot hide for long; the moon, the sun, and the truth.” Or somethin’. C'mon, let’s go back and ask him about it. At least we’ll give him the advantage of being on his home turf.”
Jyushi thinks for a moment, eyes darting around and brows furrowed, then looks up with an expression of determination.
“You’re right! He should be honest with us. We’re a family, right? We should tell each other the truth. Let’s go!”
Despite the bravado, the two stand in the hallway unmoving, before Jyushi speaks, his voice a little meek.
“Um, Kuko-san, why don’t you go ahead?”
Kuko makes a sound in his throat, but moves forward and begins walking towards Hitoya’s office. The two move with swift determination until they reach the shut door, and they only pause for a second before Kuko opens the door with force.
“Yo!” He calls. “Hitoya! We wanna talk!”
“Y-yeah!” Jyushi adds. They were met with silence, not a sound in the front room of the office.
“Hitoya-san…?” Jyushi calls softly. Kuko huffs in annoyance.
“He must still be in his office! We gave him plenty of time to get ready, that shitty lawyer…”
Kuko marches over to the office door, and with great strength and enthusiasm, yanks it open.
“Hey, asshole!” He yells, before making eye contact with both Hitoya and one Jinguji Jakurai, both rather shirtless and quite wrapped around each other.
Kuko lets out a high-pitched shriek of horror and slams the door shut as hard as he can.
He whips around, eyes wide and face beet red. Jyushi makes a squeak when he sees his face, looking terrified.
“Kuko-san…. What did you see…?”
Kuko just shakes his head, looking shell-shocked.
“Buddha fucking almighty,” he says.
They stand in stunned and fearful silence until the office door is opened with force, and Hitoya (wearing a shirt, thank God) steps out. He says nothing to the pair, instead, in a move of desperation, makes a 90 degree bow.
Both Kuko and Jyushi are shocked. They turn to each other, mouths gaping.
“Um, hey man, no worries…” Kuko says, really not knowing what else to say. “My bad for, uh, not knocking I guess? Um.”
He walks over to Hitoya and pats his shoulder awkwardly. He’s never seen the lawyer so embarrassed, and he really doesn’t know how to react.
“Kuko-san,” Jyushi whispers quite loudly. “What is it?”
At that moment Jakurai also steps out, clearly embarrassed as well, but a little more collected. Jyushi gasps.
“Matenrou’s leader!!!” He whispers at Kuko. “What… What is he doing here?!”
“Fuck if I know! All I know is that they were tongue-fuckin’ with no shirts in the middle of the office!”
Hitoya’s face turns red and he glares at Kuko. Jakurai’s eyes widen. Jyushi puts a hand over his mouth.
“You watch your damn mouth, you little hellion,” Hitoya hisses. “What I do in my own office is my own business. You two are the ones who invaded my privacy. If there’s two things I can’t stand, it’s nosy little brats and little shits who don’t know when to shut up.”
“Hitoya,” Jakurai says quietly. Jyushi tears up.
“We, we’re so sorry, Hitoyaaaa!” he wails. “We were just worried about you, and, and, we don’t want you to leave Bad Ass Temple! We’re a family!”
“I never took you for a damn traitor, Hitoya, but I guess I was wrong!” Kuko shouts. “Whatever! We don’t care! Have fun over in Shinjuku, now that you’re joining Matenrou! We’ll beat the shit out of you anyways, just me and Jyushi!”
“What?!” Hitoya says, face twisted in confusion. “What the actual hell are you talking about?”
“Can’t be any more obvious, old man. Don’t try to break it soft to us. You and Jakurai are on the same team now. Why else would you be makin’ out?”
Hitoya raises his eyebrows as high as they can go, stands still for a moment, then bursts out laughing.
“Good God, Kuko.” he manages to get out through laughter. “You really are a moron. I’m not leaving Bad Ass Temple. Sure as hell not joining Matenrou, either. No offense,” he says, turning to Jakurai, who smiles a little and shakes his head.
“Huh?” Jyushi squeaks. He sniffles, his crying stopping for a moment. He wipes his cheeks, and Kuko frowns.
“But you and Jakurai… he’s got his hooks in ya, man!”
Hitoya lets out a bark of a laugh.
“Oh my god, Kuko. You really know nothing about separating parts of your life, do you? I’m… I like Jakurai, and I have for a long time. But I won’t hesitate to beat his ass in a DRB, you understand? You have to stop thinking in black and white.”
Kuko stares at the floor, face screwed in confusion. Jakurai turns to Hitoya, his cheeks pink.
“Oh, really?” he asks quietly, smiling. Hitoya punches him lightly.
“Course. If you didn’t know by now, you’re way dumber than I thought.” He gently links his fingers through Jakurai’s and squeezes once, twice, three times. Jakurai squeezes back, then lets go and steps towards Kuko and Jyushi, who look a little suspicious.
“Jyushi-san, Kuko-san, I do want to say I have no intent of making any part of this relationship about our divisions.” he starts. Kuko crosses his arms.
“I care about Hitoya a lot, as I know you two do as well. I don’t want to take him away from you; you’re family. I also don’t wish to make either of you uncomfortable. It is not my goal in any way, shape, or form to break up Bad Ass Temple; you’re a formidable division who, quite honestly, is one of Matenrou’s greatest competition. You three are incredibly strong. I would never wish to disrupt the bond you share.”
Kuko scowls, then looks down at the floor.
“Well, if you leave your mic at home when you’re hanging around us, and if you pay for any meals we have with you, I guess I’ll think about accepting this. Only think about it, though. I don’t know, man, this is weird.”
“It’s true love!” Jyushi exclaims. “Jakurai-san, we’re a little wary, but we’ll trust you. I can see how you look at Hitoya-san…” He giggles, and Hitoya rolls his eyes, cheeks red.
“Alright, you punks. Enough wishy-washy shit. You two oughta get home, and I’ve got work in the morning. Jakurai does too.”
Jyushi pauses for a moment, hands wringing together, then runs and hugs Hitoya, who lets out a surprised oomph.
“We’re happy for you, Hitoya-san,” he says, and spreads one of his arms. Kuko sighs, and joins in the hug. Hitoya wraps his arms around these kids, who he’d never admit it, but mean the world to him.
“Thanks, Jyushi,” he replies quietly, catching Jakurai’s eye, who stands behind them. He smiles, eyes sparkling. Hitoya gently shoves Kuko and Jyushi away, adopting his tough-guy persona once again.
“Alright, punks. Time to go. I’ll see you later this week for practice okay?”
The two say their reluctant goodbyes, and the door slams behind them. Hitoya can hear their voices chatting animatedly down the hall until he can’t anymore, then turns to Jakurai.
“Thank you. That… meant a lot. To me and to them.”
“Of course, Hitoya.” Jakurai replies. “All of it was true. I respect you three greatly.”
Hitoya sighs, running a hand down his face, grinning. “You big sap… Thanks.”
Jakurai smiles, then tilts his head.
“What was that about having work tomorrow? I thought you said you had the day off.”
“Oh, nah. I was lying. I’ve got nothing to do tomorrow,” Hitoya laughs. He steps a little closer to Jakurai, trailing his fingers through his hair. Jakurai leans into the touch. “Feel a little bad about lying to the kids, but I didn’t want them to stick around too long. I’m gonna be a little busy tonight and might be up late.”
“Oh, really?” Jakurai asks teasingly. “I wonder, what will you be up to? Might it be something that could be at your apartment?”
“You’re right on the money. Let me grab my coat, then we can get on the way. Don’t forget your shoes by the desk, either.”
Jakurai laughs, slipping his loafers back on, and the two walk to the door and kiss gently before opening it and stepping into the night, the door slowly swinging shut behind them.
