Chapter Text
22 April 2011
To: Claire Redfield
From: Jill Valentine
Re: heeellooooo
Hey Claire!
Thanks for emailing, it’s nice to hear your voice again after all these years. I’m glad Chris gave you my email, I would’ve been pissed if he didn’t.
I’m alright, really. Holding up. I’ve been in the BSAA labs for a few weeks now, it’s sort of a hospital setup. My days aren’t very interesting, just a lot of testing right now, so I sleep through the rest of it. Booring.
I’m touched you want to see me so quickly, hah! Unfortunately, I’m still in a quarantine, so you can’t visit till they end it. Sorry, I know you said you were in the area. Promise you’ll be the first to know, yeah?
Anyways, how are you? Chris says you’re still with TerraSave, is it nice over there? Hope they’re treating you well. I’d ask something more specific, but… it’s been a while since I’ve had any information. Just catch me up on anything you deem relevant, please.
Got to go, sleep calls me $_$
Jill
—
24 April 2011
To: Jill Valentine
From: Claire Redfield
Re: re: heeellooooo
Jiiillllll :)
It’s really surreal, I didn’t think I’d ever get to hear your voice again, let alone chat through email. I’d say something really profound, but… I’m just really glad you’re back.
Aw, too bad about your quarantine, I was ready to camp out in your room! Don’t worry, I’ll be round the minute your visitor ban is lifted.
Glad to hear you’re alright, but is it really all that decent? The Jill I know’d be scowling and making a dry joke around now. Kidding, it’s good to be optimistic, of course, but you can be honest too, ok? Don’t worry about being too crass.
Yeah, I’m with good ol’ TerraSave. It’s good there. Honestly, not much to report on that front, work’s work, and I won’t drone on about case details or anything.
Outside of work… hm…. I switched coffee brands? Hah? It’s hard to keep track of what’s changed, if I say anything that catches you out, tell me.
We can just send emails till your bans lifted, kay? I attached some photos of general stuff, my apartment, a picture of me, my dinner last night, anything you might like. I’ll be taking requests.
Claire
P.S. I missed those funny emotions of yours. What even is $_$, lol?
—
25 April 2011
To: Claire Redfield
From: Jill Valentine
Re: re: re: heeellooooo
Hi again, Claire ;P
Thanks for the concern, I really am fine, though. I’ve got what feels like a million drips on me at all times, a ton of medication, and nurses that won’t leave me alone. I don’t think I could die if I wanted to, hah.
Those photos are really nice, thank you. Keep ‘em coming! You look cute in that selfie, I like your hair. Have you dyed it? Or has it always been so red? I took a photo of my crappy hospital breakfast to reciprocate, since they’ve finally put me back on solid foods. No selfies from me, sorry.
When you visit, can you please sneak me in some normal food? This slop is worse than what we got in the army. You’d think being so sick means I’d be allowed something half decent, huh? Well, I think if I get visitors, I’ll be allowed in the cafeteria. Then it’ll be only average food for me, lol.
How’s everyone? Keeping busy? I’ve been meaning to send out more emails, but I don’t have anyone’s contact details. I emailed Chris for them, but no reply. Anyway, send me any details you have, please.
Jill
—
26 April 2011
To: Jill Valentine
From: Claire Redfield
Re: re: re: re: heeellooooo
Jill :)
Alright, alright, I’ll stop nagging. I’m glad the doctors are taking good care of you.
My hair is a little redder, thank you for noticing! I started dyeing it recently, my brown was feeling too…. brown. You brought a smile to my face, I’ll think about that all day. Don’t worry, I can picture a cute Jill without a selfie, 3 years isn’t enough for me to forget that much. I like your makeup today, very nicely done ;)
Jesus, that food you’re getting really is abysmal LOL. You’d think the BSAA could cook you something half decent considering you’re there all hours. Don’t worry, I’ll sneak you something.
God, Jill, wait until I catch you up on Barry’s life. Soo much drama. Moira and him were clashing biiig time, did you know she joined up with TerraSave too? A lot happened (all big case sort of stuff, you know?) so I won’t bore you with the details, but she’s actually pretty good on site. Also – you’ll be glad to know your Jill Sandwich joke is still happily living on. Thank me and Moira for that ;).
I’ll attach Barry’s email, actually. You can speak to him yourself. I’m sure he’ll be really happy to hear from you, he was hit really hard when we lost you.
Don’t worry about Chris being distant, that’s a whole other can of worms. I guess he’s going through something, not that he’s told me about it. He’s been out of the country for a while now, too.
This email’s getting too long, I’ll end it here, but I’ve attached some pictures from today. My morning coffee, the sunrise, and me in the work bathroom. Lol, can you tell I didn’t sleep well last night?!
Claire x
—
27 April 2011
To: Claire Redfield
From: Jill Valentine
Re: re: re: re: re: heeellooooo
Claire
That coffee looks delicious, I wish they’d give me coffee in here… ugh. As always, you look really pretty. I like that shirt on you, it fits nicely. Stay strong, Claire! Don’t give in to sleep!
Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t think your mental image will line up very well with current me. I’ve got a new look now, it’s… well, you’ll see. Feel free to picture the old Jill smiling, though. She’s a lot nicer than I am.
Good news, my quarantine’s being ended this week, so you can visit me from next week, if you still wanted to. I’m not exactly a conversationalist these days though, just a warning.
Moira in Terrasave? Really? Wow… I didn’t peg either of Barry’s kids for following in his footsteps, but good for her. I bet he’s still worrying his ass off, I’ll send him an email then, thanks for passing it on. A bunch of teen girls must be hard to raise, just think about how we were!
Ugh, I wish you guys would just let that joke die out already. If you could even call it that. I’m glad you two are getting along, though. We should all meet up once I’m well enough.
Thanks for the words on Chris. Honestly, I think my return’s been hard on him. We talked for a little, while the BSAA transported us back to the US, but it was pretty awkward, honestly. I think we’ve grown apart over the last five years. Or rather, he’s grown and I haven’t. Sorry, it’s a bit heavy to say again, isn’t it? I just mean, I understand why he’s upset, or distant, or whatever.
Anyway, I’m really looking forward to seeing you, if you’re still up to it. No rush, I’ll probably be in here for a good while, lol. Bring food.
Jill <3
—
28 April 2011
To: Jill Valentine
From: Claire Redfield
Re: re: re: re: re: re: heeellooooo
Jiiillll :)
I’ll come round next Monday? Is that alright? I booked the week off, so I’ll come down for a bit. We can meet as much or as little as you like, no pressure, I know it’s tiring for you, you’re still in recovery. I’m really excited to see you <3
Your compliments always make me blush, Jill, you’ve got a knack for them. Makes me miss the good old days of sneaking off with you at parties. Keep them coming, pretty please.
Here’s my selfie / moments of the day. Spot my triple shot latte today, I’m working overtime and I didn’t sleep great.
I don’t have much to say today, really. It’s just exciting to see you again. I’ll be on site for fieldwork for the next few days, so I won’t reply to anything, but I’ll read it when I get back. Then I’ll see you ;-)
I attached some extra photos this time to hold you over, LOL. Take care of yourself.
Claire x
—
29 April 2011
To: Claire Redfield
From: Jill Valentine
Re: re: re: re: re: re: re: heeellooooo
Claire,
Hope the fieldwork’s going all right.
I’m really excited to see you, but I can’t help but worry about what you’ll think when you see me. When I look in the mirror, I can’t recognise myself, so it’s hard to imagine you will.
If you don’t want to come, I won’t be offended. It’s probably for the best.
—
30 April 2011
To: Claire Redfield
From: Jill Valentine
sorry
Claire
Sorry, ignore that last email. I think my sleep meds hit me too hard haha, can’t wait to see you.
Promise I’m okay.
Jill <3
—
2 May 2011
To: Jill Valentine
From: Claire Redfield
Re: sorry
Jill
Sorry, I’ve just landed back in the US. I hope you’re alright?
Seriously, Jill, no one’s expecting you to be okay. I sure as hell aren’t. If I came and you didn’t say a word to me, I’d be happy just to sit in silence with you. No pressure.
I’ll be there tomorrow, I promise.
Claire x
—
Jill didn’t lie, she really wasn’t a conversationalist these days. She’d said maybe ten words Claire’s entire visit to her hospital room, the rest spent staring holes into her blankets.
Not that she minded - it was surreal having Jill back in her life, in the best way possible - but, it was disconcerting, to say the least. Through email, she could see something wasn’t quite right, especially after their last exchange, but this? She honestly wasn’t sure how to react, when she first walked in.
From the second Claire entered the BSAA hospital room - if you could even call it that, more like a lab, she thought - she was overwhelmed with a strong sense of claustrophobia. Before her eyes could even find Jill, they were accosted with what could only be described as a sheer mass of medical equipment and unknown liquids hanging from bags. At least five separate machines were all hooked up to Jill at once, through some way or another, and incessant beeps and hums came from quite a few of them. It was like something out of a medical drama. If she didn’t know any better, she’d assume whoever was using this room was on their deathbed. It wasn’t exactly a comforting thought, especially with how much Jill looked the part.
She was propped up to a half sitting position, but it was clear that she couldn’t support herself enough to sit up alone; even turning seemed to take quite a bit of effort on her part. Her arms were practically purple, what with all the bruising from being stuck with needles over and over. Purple blossomed into blues, into yellows, half faded up and down her arms. Her chest was bandaged over heavily, and Claire wondered what could’ve possibly happened to cause all this. When Chris had phoned her from Kijuju to tell her Jill was alive and well, she’d figured she was going to be a little sick. At the very least, she’d fallen from that cliff five years ago, no one could just walk away from all that. But this was something different entirely, there was something else going on that her TerraSave clearance wouldn’t get her access to.
Not to mention, she looked entirely different now. The brown ponytail she’d grown accustomed to was now blonde, and several inches longer. She’d always been pretty pale, but she was pretty much translucent now, and was almost powdery looking. Claire could’ve sworn her eyes had lost colour too, but she couldn’t be entirely sure, with the lack of eye contact coming from the other woman. Those eye bags couldn’t hide from anyone, though, they were practically concave. It wasn’t that it bothered her. Jill was Jill, no matter how she looked, but she couldn’t pretend it wasn’t concerning to see her like this. Even at her lowest, she’d never seemed so sick.
Jill didn’t want to speak about it, clearly, and she wasn’t going to push it, but she needed to know what the situation was, even a little - if she was going to get better, what her condition was right now, maybe a little bit of context to whatever the hell happened to her. Frankly, Claire was worried, she looked worse than just sickly. Most of the BSAA doctors didn’t say much, something about privacy clauses due to bioterrorism - stupid. One of the nurses seemed to take a little pity on her, though, and told her ‘what she could’. How she was initially stable when she’d landed with Chris and a woman named Sheva back in the BSAA’s West African base, but something to do with a P30 leaving her bloodstream that caused her body to crash suddenly. Supposedly she was in the ICU there a while before they could even transfer her back to the US branch. So Chris must’ve stayed as well, until they could come back together.
Claire found out what P30 was too - kind of. The nurse looked a little nervous, clearly not wanting to say much, but she managed to discern enough to be even more horrified than she already was. Jill - a test subject for three years, and how she was now was a result of it all. A living nightmare.
Well, she supposed that was all the information she was going to get, and she didn’t want to violate Jill’s privacy any further, honestly. But… Jill, an experiment? She knew from her brother that Wesker was concerned too, and connecting the dots didn’t create a pretty picture. She hadn’t dared to mention Alex Wesker in her own emails to Jill, in case it brought up anything, and she was glad she’d had that wherewithal.
Claire sighed, looking up and down the sterile hallway. This place was nightmare fuel, she couldn’t imagine it was nice to be locked up here 24/7, especially with all those loud machines and tubes. Enough investigating, she needed to get back to Jill, and make sure she felt at least slightly less alone in this weird liminal hell.
Grabbing two Cokes from the staff vending machine, she headed back down to where Jill lay, position unchanged from half an hour or so ago, “Hey,” she started, putting the Coke down on the tray in front of her, “Snuck you something, figured it beats out whatever they’re forcing on you right now.”
Jill’s face didn’t move as she replied softly, still avoiding eye contact, “Thanks.”
Claire wasn’t sure she’d seen so much as a whisper of a smile grace her face since she’d been here. It was uncanny, and completely unlike her. Jill was always the sort to keep going, even when she was the opposite of okay. She couldn’t even begin to imagine how she felt if she couldn’t even do that.
She watched as Jill moved to open the Coke can, fumbling with the tab, eyebrows furrowing slightly. Couldn’t she open it? Shit, way to go, Claire, she mentally scolded herself. “Here, let me,” she said as she took the can, opened, and passed it back. She could’ve sworn Jill flinched as the can hissed.
The frown stayed on Jill’s face, as she spoke the first full sentence since Claire had seen her again, “I could’ve done it, Claire.”
Claire’s heart fluttered for a second at hearing her name in Jill’s mouth, then immediately sank three depths lower than before when she realised how she just messed up. Jill looked hurt. Of course she did, when Claire was treating her like a small child who couldn’t do anything for herself. It didn’t matter if she couldn’t open the can, she should’ve just shut up and let her keep her pride intact. Her and her stupid big mouth.
“Sorry, you’re right. My bad,” She answered simply, and Jill looked at her for a second before she gazed back down, nodding her head in dismissal.
They returned back to the same stagnant silence as before. There was a small TV in the corner of the room, but Jill had had it off when she came in, and she didn’t want to disturb her. Instead she focused her attention on the machines around Jill herself. There was the normal stuff you’d expect to see in any hospital: a pulse oximeter for the oxygen saturation in her blood, heart rate monitor, quite a few infusion machines, with at least 3 separate medicinal concoctions making their way into Jill’s bloodstream, a leg circulation machine that led under the covers - presumably because she wasn’t very mobile yet - and the like. She recognised it from her own line of work, hospitals weren’t exactly an uncommon place to frequent, when bioterrorism was concerned.
There were a lot of machines she wasn’t sure about, though, and she figured they were probably BSAA specialist machines of sorts. Some of them seemed harmless enough, but quite a few of them were connected up to Jill, with at least one drawing something out of her. It made her uneasy, though she couldn’t quite put her finger on why. They were helping her, surely, making her better. That’s why she was here. There was just something about the way Jill was lying there, though, so helpless, that infuriated her with it all. She was sick, and the BSAA were just running tests on a founding member who’d been shoved away from the light of day, all for their own records? What a joke.
Still, though, she didn’t say any of it outloud. Jill had enough to cope with already, and it wasn’t like she was getting out of here any time soon, regardless.
She was pulled out of her thoughts, however, when Jill’s voice met her ears first, for once, “It’s getting pretty late,” she said, tone flat and neutral.
“Hm? Yeah?,” Claire checked her watch, which read 7:16pm, “You want me to call a nurse or something?”
Jill shook her head slightly. It took her a little before she finally spoke, “It takes a while for you to get down here, right?”
Oh, Claire saw what she was getting at, “You’re kidding? I said I was gonna camp out in here, didn’t I?” She stood up from where she sat by her bedside and walked over to the bag she brought, giving it a firm pat, “Don’t worry about it, I want to be here. I even came prepared.” She wanted to break the tension a little with a joke, but kept her gaze steady, looking at Jill, letting her know she really was serious about staying.
Jill’s eyes looked unfocused as they looked back at her, trying to calculate her motive.
“You’re on holiday,” Her eventual rebuttal came, and Claire couldn’t help but let out a laugh. Like she hadn’t booked the week off specifically to come see her.
“Yeah, and I wanna spend my holiday with my ex, silly. Why’d you think I booked the week off?”
At this, Jill frowned, “Ex?”
“Hey, I distinctly remember you breaking up with me with that skydiving stunt,” She teased. Maybe it was a risk, seeing how sensitive Jill was right now. But if she knew one thing about the other woman, is how much she hated being treated like she was fragile. Hell, even after the Arklay Mountains incident all those years ago, she jumped right back into work with almost no break at all. Besides, it wasn’t a lie, their relationship did technically end when she was declared KIA five years ago.
Claire’s risky joke paid off, clearly, as the corners of Jill’s mouth raised a whisper as she looked away, the happiest she’d seen her all day. She looked like she wanted to say something for a second, but hesitated, so Claire stepped in, “Don’t worry about it. We’ll talk about it another time for real. I just want to spend time with you now, okay?” She paused for a second, “Though, if you really want to be alone, I don’t mind going.”
Jill was silent for a while, before she shook her head slowly, “I’d like it if you stayed,” she replied simply.
“Me too,” Claire grinned, and settled back into the chair she’d pulled up when she first got into the room.
They didn’t speak much after that - honestly, Claire was surprised Jill had ended up talking so much already, in the end - but she settled into her chair comfortably, watching as the night shift nurses came in to enact their night shift routine. Drips were switched around, even more blood was drawn (I mean, really, did they seriously need all that?), and what looked like an entire medicine cupboard of pills went down her throat. Sleeping pills were in there somewhere, along with pain medication, blood thinners, and an array of other pills, one of the nurses told her when she spotted her staring. She wondered how bad the pill hangover from all that was.
Finally, after a short wait, the nurse gestured towards the bandages around Jill’s chest. Huh, it seemed like she was waiting for the sedatives to start kicking in before she started. Weird. Jill blinked slowly, eyes weighed down by pills, and Claire turned around to give her a bit of privacy. It didn’t really seem right to watch.
Ten minutes or so later, the nurse, who was actually pretty friendly, gave Claire the all clear, before reaffirming with her she knew where the panic buttons were and wishing her goodnight. She also let her know that there’d be nurses coming in throughout the night to draw blood, administer medication and such, so as not to get a fright. Jesus, did Jill get a second alone here? It felt like there was always some test to be done. Claire nodded regardless, before taking the opportunity to look at Jill properly now, who had fallen asleep.
Asleep, she didn’t have the same hunched in on herself quality, instead her face was relaxed and Claire could only hope she wasn’t dreaming of anything at all. God, she really did look sickly, though. The bags under her eyes were no joke, they looked practically sunken in, and that translucent quality to her skin exaggerated it further. She wondered if her quality of sleep was that bad, or if there was another reason for her to look so tired. Maybe she was anaemic from all those damn tests.
Claire wasn’t sure she trusted these BSAA doctors, and made a mental note to check in with Chris, when he decided to get over whatever had been bothering him lately. She supposed it was serious, if he was headed abroad instead of spending time with Jill, because this really wasn’t the brother she knew. Her brother would’ve quit the BSAA before he left his best friend alone to recover from three years of hell. Especially with the way he hadn’t given up on her. Hell, even after Claire herself rendered her girlfriend dead, Chris still seemed to believe she was out there somewhere. So where was he now? Clearly it was important, still, she couldn’t help but be a little angry at him. Jill was going through a lot, and she was still trying not to make it anyone else's problem. What excuse did he have?
A nurse entered the room, disturbing her thoughts, and she realised she’d been glaring into thin air. That wouldn’t do, she needed to cool it. The nurse and her exchanged curt nods, before taking some readings and leaving again. Jill didn’t stir. She must be under a lot of sedation, she thought.
Claire gazed at Jill again, fast asleep, and lay her head down beside her. She should probably sleep too, if she wanted to be at her best. For second, she debated taking Jill’s hand, but decided against it. What she’d said before was right, they’d talk about what they were when they got to it, and until then… she was just going to be there for her.
As her eyes fell closed, Claire’s mind drifted to better days of her and Jill together.
—
The week of Claire’s holiday passed pretty monotonously, with the two of them sitting mostly in silence, being disturbed what felt like every 5 minutes by nurses needing to take readings or draw blood, or a whole other host of things. It was weird, but it was nice, in some twisted way, spending so much time with Jill again. She wanted to be caught up on a lot of what she missed over the past few years, so when they weren’t sitting in silence, Claire caught Jill up however she could, verbally, videos on her camera roll, the like. Sometimes, doctors wheeled Jill away for a few hours – tests, supposedly – but they left Jill more sullen than usual, and it was all Claire could do to not go berserk watching her suffer internally.
About halfway through her stay, one of the nurses changed up her routine. Jill had taken her medicines, as usual, and Claire had turned around to give her a little privacy when she heard the nurse telling her that they wouldn’t be redressing her wound anymore, something about the healing process.
“What?,” she heard Jill whisper, and the tone in her voice was sickening. Even through the sedatives, she was trying to make a fuss, she could hear it, but it was a battle she was rapidly losing. Besides, she could barely sit up by herself normally, there wasn’t a battle in the world she could win right now. The nurse was trying to be comforting, softly offering words of affirmation, but there’s only so much she could do when she was trying to destroy the one ounce of comfort Jill had right now. Despite not having seen her chest herself, Claire didn’t need to to see how much distress it caused her. On top of the bandages, she usually made sure the covers were hiding them too. It wasn't something Claire thought to ask further about, when she was so clearly fragile, and this was one of her greatest sources of distress. She was still arguing now, words slurring together as she begged for the dressings back. Claire pretended not to hear.
Sedatives taking over, Jill finally dropped off into sleep, and when she turned back around, her chest was covered by the blanket.
Claire didn’t ask to see her scar.
—
Over the next few weeks, Claire visited Jill regularly. She had to go back to work eventually, but after explaining what she could to her supervisor, he let her leave earlier every few days to drive down and visit.
Honestly, she was thankful. It didn't seem like Jill was getting any other visitors, by her choice or by demand, and she wanted to make sure she knew she had someone around to lean on. Maybe that someone was her ex-girlfriend, so what? She’d rather she had someone rather than no one. It wasn’t like they intentionally ended their relationship regardless, they’d still been dating when Jill was declared KIA and all. Besides, maybe it was wishful thinking, but she seemed to enjoy the company. It was pretty rare, but she cracked the hint of a smile every now and again.
They settled into a routine, eventually, Claire visiting, exchanging emails when she wasn’t there. Barry was talking to her through email too, she found out, which relieved her somewhat. Her brother was still radio silent, as far as Jill was concerned, she’d think about it more when she had the time. What with making up work from days where she left early, and constantly driving down to and from the hospital, she was pretty run off her feet. The sleep quality from a chair wasn’t particularly great, either.
Life went on, and the next few months passed pretty uneventfully. Jill was slowly gaining her strength back, and the number of machines and tubes poking out from her slowly declined, with now just her IV remaining. There were talks about her starting rehab soon, since her muscle strength was practically non-existent, and the thought of her being able to walk about again like usual comforted Claire a lot. She hoped that therapy was part of the rehab schedule too, though. Jill was still noticeably not herself, and way quieter than usual, barely smiling at all. She didn’t blame her, who could, knowing the circumstances? Still, though, she was worried about her. She tried raising her spirits as much as possible, but there was only so much she could try, especially with her being hospital bound and all.
Once, a few weeks ago, she’d tried to get clearance to take her out for the day, just for coffee or something. The request was denied faster than she’d submitted it, practically. She’d even asked staff face-to-face, all of them giving her excuses. In short – Jill was chained here till she could walk out on her own two feet. Her own distrust of the BSAA grew yet again, and she wished Chris was here to pull some strings or something. Until then, she’d stay by Jill’s side and help out however she could. It was the least she could do.