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Mrs. Curtis was always a prepared woman, but Dally hadn’t expected her to leave updated letters to people upon her death. He knew he was gonna cry the moment he opened it, but he still wasn’t prepared. Especially when he got to the part about Sylvia.
Dally, it’s okay that you love her. You didn’t have to tell me aloud for me to know. Maybe others don’t but I always knew. Love is an amazing thing Dally, and I hope Darrel, I, and the boys have shown you enough of it to last you a lifetime, but it can’t fix everything. I didn’t know you very long before you met Sylvia, but I knew you long enough to know that you’ve been fading for years. It’s okay to be angry, to be scared, to protect yourself, but not the way you’re doing it. It is okay to not be able to help everyone. I wish someone had helped you back then, and I wish I was brave enough to reach out to you, but oh, baby, you don’t have to hold a hand to someone who won’t take it.
Dally hadn’t known he needed to hear those words until he read them. It’s like the world ripped around him - glass shattered, the world shook. And then Sylvia found the letter. Insults and curses and objects were thrown back and forth and they fought, and when Sylvia hit him, he finally found the strength to hit back. It tore part of him open, that part of him that had just come to terms with the fact he’d be stuck with love Syl forever. It felt like bleeding atop his abuser, knowing she’d never forget how she was the one who gave him the ability to do so. Part of him felt almost…cathartic. The other part of him, the one Sylvia had trained so well, wanted to apologize and calm her down. Try to help her just one more time. And Dally? He’s always been a creature of habit.
She opened up this time. Cried instead of screaming, explained herself instead of making excuses. Her Daddy hurt her, and when she called for help, no one came. When she lost weight, no one came. When she started shooting up and downing shots, no one came. And her Daddy just kept hurting her. Did vile shit that made Dally want to cry with her. When things were bad with Sylvia, they were bad, but they could also be so good. Sometimes, he’d get a glimpse of the girl she could’ve been, and he’d fall in love all over again. How could anyone ignore her? Hurt her? When all she needed was a careful hand that ended up being offered far too late.
He thought this was the turn-around. That he’d be able to go to Mr. and Mrs. Curtis’ funeral and tell them that things are looking up now. He was wrong. That night, Sylvia packed her bags again. Properly. He nearly begged her to stay. Begged her to give him one last shot at saving her. But he was tired of begging. Tired of chasing Syl down every time she’s gone for more than two nights in a row. Tired of checking every alleyway he walks past, just in case. Tired of clinging to the ankle of someone who would saw it off, if it meant she could leave.
He sat on his bed for a long time, thinking about what she’d told him. She’d been born sick, with no mom to help make sense of what’s going on in her head, and a Daddy who only took advantage. A Daddy who taught her love was pain and manipulation and lies. He doesn’t think he’ll ever let go of the things she told him. No matter what she did to him, it’d be a disservice to the little girl Sylvia used to be, if he just…tossed aside her last act of love. Of trust. Suddenly, he realizes that she didn’t leave because he offered a hand too late. It’s because she opened up to him, and proved to both of them that she can heal. She can get better. And she was too scared to do it. Too used to rotting.
In the end, Dally never used Tim’s advice, or Darry’s, or Evie’s, or Sandy’s, or even Mrs. Curtis’ advice. He didn’t ignore her. He scooped her up, and saved her life, and took her in, and let her in time and time again. And when that advice finally got through to him, he didn’t even use it. Sylvia left first, and maybe it was always going to be that way. In the end, no one had helped him because he had never left Sylvia’s side. Not until she forced him to.
