Archive of Our Own

“I thought Chan was supposed to be here like. An hour ago.”

Hyunjin was sprawled out on the living room couch, as comfortable as if it were his own home.

”He was,” Felix agreed, playing with Hyunjin’s hair, thwacking his ponytail back and forth like a cat. “But he texted to let me know he’d be running late.” 

“How late?” 

“That’s the question, isn’t it? I don’t know. He said he’d let me know when he was heading home, though.” They were supposed to have dinner and watch a movie together, but it seemed increasingly likely that Chan wouldn’t be back in time to make it to the cinema. “He did say that we could go without him.”

Hyunjin shrugged. “I got high before I got here. I don’t really care what we do.” He twisted around to look at Felix. This was a struggle with the positions they were occupying, and he needed to use his elbow to prop himself up. “Does this happen a lot? Chan coming home late?”

Felix gave him a sad smile. “I guess so? He’s been working really hard lately. There’s a promotion on the line and his boss hasn’t decided who he wants to give it to yet. It’s between him and this guy name Jeongin right now. And, like, get this - He’s, like, ten years younger and has only been at the company for a few months. But he’s some sort of protege or something, so I guess it’s closer. The choice would be so obvious to me, but what do I know?” 

“Mmm. A literal child or your devoted, consistent employee of three years. How could he ever make a decision? This Minho guy sounds like a real ass.”

Felix began kneading Hyunjin’s shoulders. They were way looser than Chan’s, who was usually tense to the tenth degree before Felix worked his magic on him.

“Chan says he can be a bit of a hardass, but he’s usually pretty good to work for. They even went out for soju once after shift, I think? It’s just at times like this that he really turns on manager mode, and you know Chan. He can never just chill, let things be what they are. He probably doesn’t even need to be busting his ass like this - I think his part work should more than speak for itself - But he’d be all anxious if he wasn’t working. So I’ll let him do what he’s gotta do. I only wish there was more that I could do to help him.”

“Personally, if Changbin were to pull such a stunt, I would let him have it. Like, the only person who should be blasting Chan’s ass is you.”

“That is not what I said-”

“Mish mosh.” Hyunjin had a somewhat irritating habit of tuning out whatever he didn’t want to hear. And, apparently, fabricating entire conversations. Felix couldn’t even blame it on the weed, because he was always like this. “I’m hungry. Are you hungry? I don’t mind skipping the movie, but we should have something to eat. Like, right now would be preferable.” 

Just like that, Hyunjin was distracted, easily dropping his point. He bounced up off of the couch, heading towards the kitchen. “What’s in your cupboards?” He asked, already looking through them before Felix could answer. Within no time at all, he had a bag of chips in his hands and was munching away.

“Do you have any brownies? I love your brownies. Oh my God, wait - I just had the best idea ever. I really did.” His hand flew to his forehead, as if he was stunned into disbelief by his own genius. “You should make weed brownies. I can’t believe it took me twenty-five years to think of that. What do you think? Say yes. You have to say yes. It would change my life. They would probably help chill Chan out, too.”

 It was like Hyunjin had put his yapping mode into overdrive. But - It was an interesting idea. Maybe not a bad one. It was worth a try, wasn’t it? Chan deserved a treat, deserved to be able to relax for once, to have some fun.

Sometimes Felix woke up in the middle of the night to an empty bed, and he’d find Chan on the computer in his makeshift home office, working well into the hours when he should’ve been fast asleep. It worried Felix a little bit, how he didn’t seem to know how to stop. He would never blame him for it, because he knew that everything Chan did was for them.

Chan had had a happy childhood, but it had also been a poor one. Sometimes he’d gone to bed hungry, or cold. His mother had worn a plastic ring on her finger, because his father couldn’t afford a real one for her. They’d been terribly in love, so Chan knew that money wasn’t everything. But he had also seen how they’d suffered for it, and he’d made a promise to himself, and to Felix, that they wouldn’t make the same mistakes.

If Felix wanted something, anything, Chan would get it for him. He would never let him go without. And any spare change they had went right back to their families - Extra motivation to work as hard as he possibly could. Felix felt partially to blame for this, for his need to put in such long hours to keep them afloat, because his own job at the animal shelter didn’t pay particularly well.

He’d grown close to Chan’s parents as their relationship progressed, and he’d learned that Chan had always been like this, even as a child. Driven. Motivated. To a fault, at times. It made Felix want to take care of him, in whatever ways that he could. Maybe baking him a special brownie could be his way of doing that for him.

“You know what? Sure. Let’s do it.”

Hyunjin immediately began twisting his hips, hands in the air in a victory dance.

“You’re the best. Have I ever told you that you’re the best? And also the coolest person ever? I’m so excited. I can’t wait.” He broke into a happy shimmy, unable to contain his joy. Felix loved that about him, how his happiness was always a full-body experience. He gave a little spin in solidarity, which only inspired Hyunjin to up the ante, grabbing his hands and jumping up and down. After approximately 2.5 hops, he stopped, breathing heavily.

“That is surprisingly exhausting. It looks like so much more fun in the movies.”

“Yeah, well. I think that’s true for a lot of things.”

“Can we order mozzarella sticks? Or, ooh, mac and cheese? The really thick, creamy kind. I have a serious craving for cheese right now. Can we order both? What about pizza? Are you in the mood for pizza? If we get pizza, we should get garlic breadsticks, too. Actually, we should get those anyways. I’m literally salivating just at the thought.” He opened his mouth as if to show Felix the evidence of this.

Felix flapped his hand in Hyunjin’s direction. “Order whatever you want. Go wild. But use your own card.”

Hyunjin had the audacity to pout at that very reasonable rule.

“Not very polite hosting behavior, but sure.”

“You’re hanging out at my house. I’m not hosting you. This isn’t a dinner party. You’re eating my brand new bag of sour gummy worms right now. You’re here basically every other night. You should be paying rent, actually.”

“Okay, damn.” Hyunjin set the bag of candy down with his hands up, like he was walking away from a bomb. “Hit me a little harder next time.”

Felix raised a playful fist. “Don’t tempt me. And don’t make me tell my fiancé that I spent all of his hard-earned money on breadsticks.”

Their wedding was nearly a year away, but he knew the sheer expense of it added to Chan’s stress, even though they both agreed to keep it somewhat tame. Even then, though, every single aspect came with a bill - Their suits, the cake, renting a venue - And none of it was cheap.

They were far from being in a bad place. They always paid their rent on time, and they could afford to have takeout, even when Hyunjin had the munchies. But if Felix couldn’t make a significant contribution financially, then he felt like the least he could do was avoid putting unnecessary strain on their bank accounts.

“You’re still making the brownies though, right? Don’t worry, I’ll provide the secret ingredient.” Hyunjin slid a small, heart-shaped tin out of his back pocket. Hand-placed jewels glittered in the light. It was adorable.

“Don’t you worry about a thing, princess. I’ll let you know when I need you.”

Felix moved through the kitchen on autopilot, pulling out sugar and flour and cocoa powder, his favorite mixing bowl and teaspoons. He’d made his signature treat so many times that he had the recipe memorized.

Hyunjin watched from a few feet away, mesmerized. Felix appreciated him not trying to involve himself in the process for once. When he was ready, he motioned for Hyunjin to come closer.

“Only put in a little, okay? I think Chan smoked a few times when he was younger, but he certainly doesn’t have any sort of tolerance built up. He’ll probably get high really easily.”

Hyunjin followed his instructions…But shook in just a little bit more when Felix turned his back to make sure that the oven was preheated. Chan really needed to chill out. The last time he’d actually made it to one of their hangouts, he’d tried to engage Hyunjin in a conversation about algorithms. This shit was serious.

The kitchen filled with the glorious smell of warm chocolate as the brownies baked in the oven. Felix turned on the little light inside so Hyunjin could watch, nose practically pressed up against the glass. Sober, watching brownies bake was probably about as interesting as watching paint dry. For a long stretch of time, there were no visible changes at all. But high - Hyunjin was captivated. It was better than an episode of his favorite television show. Chances were very high that he would want a brownie the moment their timer went off, despite the fact that doing so would burn the entire surface of his mouth.

Luckily, by that time, he’d been provided with a sufficient distraction. The cheesy kingdom of his takeout order had arrived. It was beautiful, really, enough to draw an appreciative tear from the corner of his eye. The moans he let out while eating were probably unnecessary, but he held onto a strong belief that they added to the experience. When you were satisfied with what you were eating, it was important to make that pleasure known. 

Hyunjin’s performance made Felix laugh so hard that he struggled to eat himself. He kept dropping his own slice of pizza, and experienced at least one near-death experience when he choked on a chunk of breadstick. 

All in all - A highly successful evening. It only would’ve been better if Chan had been there, because everything was better when Chan was around. It made Felix sad to think that while he and Hyunjin were clutching their sides in laughter, Chan was busy working at the office - Probably alone, because he put in more hours than anyone else, even his boss. Because he cared the most. While Hyunjin persuaded Felix to dip a mozzarella stick into a creamy bowl of mac and cheese for a super ultra cheesy sensation, Chan was probably eating a cardboard-adjacent protein bar for dinner.

Felix understood the importance of having money. There were so many aspects of just being alive that were expensive. There was rent and car payments and insurance, phone bills and medical bills and prescription prices, groceries and gasoline. But Felix hoped that they would be able to achieve a better work-life balance once they were firmly on their feet.

Once they were easily able to afford the basics, Felix would be satisfied. He would cherish his wedding ring, but he didn’t need a diamond. He didn’t need to live in a mansion or drive a luxury car or wear designer brands. What he needed was Chan - His fiancé, his favorite person, the love of his life. He wanted to spend quiet evenings with him, and to snuggle up against him in bed. He wanted to make him happy, to see a day where there weren’t tired bags hanging under his eyes.

He knew that baking him weed brownies wasn’t a permanent solution, but - It wouldn’t hurt to have some fun in the meantime, right?

𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆🍃⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

It was late by the time Chan got home. Felix was already in bed, reading before he settled down for the night. Chan had told him more than once that he didn’t want Felix to wait up for him, but Felix couldn’t help it. He hated to end his day without Chan, and he would hate for Chan to end his day without him.

Felix was tired, though, putting in a concentrated effort to keep his eyes open. He’d read the same page several times now, the words coming into and falling back out of his head. And if he was tired, he could only imagine how exhausted Chan must be.

“Welcome home, honey,” He greeted him, setting aside his book and turning to watch Chan undress. (Another completely valid and very motivating reason to stay up for him.)

“Did you have a good time with Hyune?” Chan asked, unbuttoning his shirt.

“Mmm,” Felix hummed in the affirmative. “We didn’t end up going out. I made brownies.”

“I love your brownies.” Chan said, crawling into bed beside him.

“I know,” Felix said, kissing him.

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t make it tonight. A potential buyer started acting like they were going to back out at the last minute, so it was an all hands on deck, crisis sort of situation.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. I know that you would choose to be with me, if you could.”

“I would, I really would.” Chan wrapped his arms around Felix’s waist, pulled him up close against him. “I want to be better for you,” He mumbled against Felix’s shoulder blade. “I’m sorry to keep letting you down.” The long hours were wearing on him, pushing his insecurities up to the surface.

“You have never let me down. Never.”

“It must bother you, all the cancellations. When you’re waiting for me and I don’t show up. I’m doing this for us, you know? But it doesn’t feel that way - I mean, it doesn’t feel like it’s actually working - When we aren’t together.”

“It’s the price we have to pay, right? It won’t be this way forever.”

Even in bed, at the end of a long day, Chan was still so tense, still convinced that he wasn’t doing enough. Felix didn’t want to be another item on his list of worries. He shifted so that their faces were close together. Too close to make eye contact without going cross-eyed. Close enough that Chan could feel Felix’s breath fan across his face. Close enough that it was very, very easy to share a kiss or two, or three. Or a dozen? Felix lost count. It didn’t matter. He would leave the math equations to Chan.

“Do you know what I want more than anything else in the world?” He asked, knowing that Chan would give him anything.

“What?”

If Felix asked him for one of the stars, then Chan would defy the laws of science to get him one.

“I want to be here with you right now. I want to be the one that you love, the person you come home to at night. Anything other than that? It’s just icing on the cake, baby. I promise you that I’m happy. Do you believe me?”

Chan took a deep breath, inhaling and then exhaling. His breath smelled minty fresh, like toothpaste. It felt like all of the fears that weighed him down.

“I believe you,” He said, finally.

“Good.” Felix kissed him again, a present for giving the right answer. “Now let’s get some sleep, shall we? It’ll be morning before you know it.”

No matter how long the night lasted, it was never long enough. Chan didn’t put up a fight, and it wasn’t long at all before his breathing was steady and even, the tension finally released from his body as he slept.

Felix had never told him that he snored sometimes. He knew that Chan would be insecure about it, that he’d buy Breathe-Rite strips or something to try and stop. Felix didn’t want him to. He thought that it was cute. A little less so when they were loud enough to wake him up, but - He could never truly be upset to wake up beside him.

He’d promised Chan that he was happy, and he was. He hadn’t made Chan return the promise, though, because he was afraid that if he did, it would be nothing more than a lie.

𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆🍃⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

Chan woke up first, as he usually did. He spent a few extra moments in bed before he dragged his weary bones up and away from the cozy comfort of his blankets and his boyfriend. He allowed himself just a minute to watch Felix sleep. A warm feeling spread over his heart as he did - He was so lucky to have found him. He was so lucky to be the one to love him.

He tried to hold onto that feeling as he got dressed for work, trying to be as quiet as possible to avoid waking him up. The best mornings were always the ones that they started together - Brushing their teeth side by side, sharing frozen waffles and calling it a breakfast, giving a goodbye kiss before they both walked out the door, headed their separate ways - But Chan knew the importance of rest.

He could feel his own lack of sleep beginning to weigh on him, how it made his mind sluggish and his limbs feel heavy, like he was wading through water. Even his multiple cups of coffee per day were doing little to permeate through the sheer exhaustion. But it wouldn’t be for much longer - Minho had promised that he would make a choice before the end of the month. By then, hopefully, all of Chan’s hard work and the sacrifices he had made would finally pay off.

He perked up as he was packing his lunch for the day and saw the tray of brownies sitting pert and pretty on the counter. He’d totally forgotten that Felix had mentioned making them the night before. They would make for the perfect midday treat. His mouth watered as he cut out a big brownie the size of his fist - Felix always encouraged him to let loose, reminded him that he could easily whip up another batch whenever he wanted one.

He was tempted to eat it right away, to call it his breakfast, but he managed to exercise some self-restraint. Brownies were delicious, but they didn’t exactly promise long-lasting energy. He ate a yogurt instead, knowing that he’d still be hungry within the hour but, at the very least, it provided some nutrients. His gut would be healthier for it, or whatever.

He was just about to head out of the door when he stopped in his tracks and pivoted, racing back to the kitchen. He grabbed a post-it note and a sharpie, scribbling a thank you note for his dessert. It wasn’t much, but he hoped that the small gesture would ensure that Felix would start his day with a smile.

𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆🍃⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

On second thought, Chan’s yogurt breakfast had been a mistake. It was nowhere near an acceptable time for lunch, and his stomach was already growling. Literal noises of hunger were erupting from his body. He kept sneaking looks at Seungmin, who worked in the cubicle beside him, to assure that he hadn’t been heard.

The more time that passed, the harder it was for Chan to ignore his hunger. It was making it difficult for him to focus on his work. Typically, this would be the time of day when he’d chow down on a granola bar, something healthy with whole grains and flaxseeds inside. Working in an office for a living had made him acutely aware of his health - Namely, all of the exercise he wasn’t getting. He planned to put in more hours at the gym, when he actually had some hours to spare. Oh, the plans he had made for this mystical future of his, where he wasn’t stuck at work all day…

Grabbing a granola bar would be the correct decision to be made. Anyone would agree. But hadn’t Chan earned the right to make a few poor choices? Didn’t he deserve to have a treat? It wasn’t like his boss was going to present him with a “Good job!” or a “100%” sticker, like he got back in grade school when he aced a test. (He’d earned a hearty collection of those, because he had always been studious and driven, his eyes locked on the prize.)

It was up to Chan to reward himself. And he wanted that brownie badly. It seemed to taunt him, tease him, call to him. He could see that Felix had missed extra chocolate chips in, which elevated the flavor element to another level entirely. He tried to focus, to lock in on his presentation, to survive until his lunch hour.

His stomach did not the same goals and aspirations as his mind. It emitted a growl loud enough that Chan was embarrassed. From the cubicle beside him, Seungmin called out “For Christ’s sake, have a sandwich or something!”

It was all the encouragement that Chan needed. Adults were allowed to make executive decisions like having dessert first, right?

He was tempted to shove the entire thing into his mouth at once, but he decided to pace himself instead, taking a bite here and there in between typing and taking notes, deciding which graphic would allure potential buyers to choose their company over their competitors.

The sweet treat was exactly what he’d needed. The motivation of a brownie bite allowed Chan to begin cruising through his work. He felt better than he had all morning, and he felt insanely grateful for his boyfriend, who not only wasn’t mad at Chan for bailing on their plans again but who had even baked him brownies. The more he thought about it, the more emotional it made him, until tears of gratitude were pricking the backs of his eyes and he had to blink them, and the thoughts, away.

He didn’t start feeling…weird until an hour later, when the brownie was long gone, nothing but a memory. He was in the middle of re-reading a particularly challenging paragraph for the third or fourth time - He wasn’t hungry anymore, but it was midmorning and exhaustion was already sinking in - When he became increasingly aware of the saliva in his mouth. And the more he focused on the saliva, the more aware of his teeth he became.

He’d never really considered how weird teeth were before. He’d never spent much time thinking about his bones, about the fact that underneath all of his skin were muscles and cartilage and a skeleton. Underneath his eyes and his nose and his mouth was a skull. And his teeth…Those were exposed bones, just out there for the world to see. Bones, growing right from his mouth. Wasn’t that wild? 

He clacked them together - Smick, smack. Had his teeth always felt this way, and he just hadn’t been paying attention? You had to brush your teeth and floss them and use mouthwash to keep them healthy, so they didn’t grow cavities and potentially rot away and die. It was a truly terrifying premise, that one of your bones could die because it hadn’t been cleaned enough.

What if human beings had other exposed bones, too? Would we have to wash those as well? Would toothpaste work on all bones, or was that specific for teeth? If our femurs needed to be brushed, would they need a special femur paste? Was his femur okay right now, even though he’d never brushed it? Had corporations ever considered this? This was a potentially massive money marketing scheme.

Smick, smack. Man, his teeth really did feel strange. Had he remembered to brush his teeth this morning? Did he have the time? How many times had he just chosen to skip a brush because he was rushing out of the door, or because he was too tired? How many cavities were growing in his teeth, right this instant? Why did mouthwash taste so freaking bad? Maybe it wasn’t that the taste was horrible, but - The burning sensation. It was awful. You were supposed to use it every single day, but most of the time, Chan just couldn’t force himself to do it. It was a truly unpleasant experience, but for his teeth, it was probably awesome. Smick, smack.

Was Chan a bad person because he hadn’t spent more time thinking about his teeth’s potential feelings? Mouthwash probably felt like a refreshing river bath to them. It probably felt like a nice, long shower after a hard day of work, all of the grease and grime just running right off of you, into the shower drain, never to be seen again. Were his teeth mad at him right now, because he’d just exposed them to all of that sugar? Were they actively rotting away right this minute?

Smick, smack. Chan should probably brush his teeth, but he didn’t have a toothbrush on him. He should probably fix that. He should start carrying a mini toothbrush and toothpaste with him everywhere, one of those travel tubes, so his teeth would never have to suffer again. Maybe a mini mouthwash, too. He would have to get over it, for the sake of their happiness.

Who was the person who had invented making everything in miniature? They should be more famous. They should have their name in history books. They were probably a millionaire - No, billionaire - Because even though tiny things had so little of what you needed in them, they were ridiculously expensive. They were also pretty damn cute, though.

Smick, smack. Where was he on the page again? What paragraph was he reading? He should tell his boss about his idea, the special brushes and pastes for each of your inner bones. He had the possibility to transform the future of this company forever, right here and now. It would probably take forever to clean each and every rib individually. Chan was a little exhausted just thinking about the sort of time commitment that would take. It would probably be fine if he rested his head on his desk just for a minute, right?

Oh, fuck. His head landed on his keyboard and he accidentally smashed so many keys. Like, an absolute smorgasbord of random letters. Maybe he should keep his head upright to avoid any future pitfalls. Maybe he should suggest that they add a mandatory nap time to the work day. It wasn’t fair that toddlers got all of the prime napping real estate. What did they even have to be so tired about? When had they ever worked a sixteen hour shift? What did they know about statistics? And for that matter, why were they crying all the time? They didn’t even know what taxes were!

Smick. Smack.

“Dude. I don’t know what’s up with you today, or what you’re doing with your teeth, but you need to cut that out.” Seungmin sounded irritated. 

“Yes sir.” Chan raised his arm in a salute, and immediately broke into a fit of laughter. Seungmin gave him a dose of side-eye before disappearing back into his own cubicle. 

The moment Seungmin was back out of sight, Chan was gripped with the need to see him again, to ask him a very important question. He ducked his head into his office buddy’s cubicle, knocking on the plaster as if it were a door, giggling to himself as he did. 

“What?” Seungmin asked, knowing who it was without even having to look up, attention laser-focused on the computer screen in front of him. His dedication was impressive. Maybe Seungmin should get a promotion. He should get a raise, for sure. The “being a good office mate” bonus. Those were a thing, right? They should be a thing. 

“Can I ask you for a favor, please?” Chan put on his best, most polite, most well-behaved voice. He was wheedling a little bit. He considered himself charming, irresistible. 

“No.” Seungmin still hadn’t looked up.

“It’s important.” He was whining now. 

“Ask somebody else.” He was so funny, with his deadpan tone of voice, acting like he didn’t care, acting like he didn’t like him. 

“I want to ask you.” It was up to Chan to take matters into his own hands. It wasn’t like he needed something big, anyways. His favor was a small one. It would be over and done with in two seconds. Seungmin was his friend, so he wouldn’t mind, not really.

Chan made himself comfortable in Seungmin’s cubicle, sitting down on his desk. Why had he never done this before? People did things like this on television shows all the time. On television shows, office jobs were a sort of party at all times. You formed unbreakable bonds with the people you worked with, and every day there was something to laugh about, some new sort of adventure or disaster to unfold. Chan’s real life did not live up to that - He mostly just kept to himself, focused on his work, slowly feeling his soul drain away, day by day - But maybe he was doing it wrong. Maybe he should’ve been doing this all along.

“Dude. Get your butt off of my desk. Are you feeling alright? You’re acting really strange today.” Seungmin was not in on the ‘make this office into a comedy show’ memo, but that was okay. Chan would get him there. Seungmin could go through character development. 

“I feel great. I feel…I’ve never felt better, actually. Look. I just need you to help me with something, okay?” Before Seungmin could reject him again, Chan leaned over, close enough to his face that Seungmin would be able to smell his breath when Chan let out a heavy exhale. “Did I brush my teeth this morning? I can’t remember. Does it smell like I brushed my teeth?”

Seungmin physically recoiled away from him, crinkling his nose and waving the air in front of his face as he did. It was not an especially promising reaction. 

“I didn’t, did I? My teeth are going to be so mad at me. I’m such a bad parent. I’m putting my bone’s structural integrity at risk. What if my other bones join in solidarity against me?” He broke out into a cold sweat just thinking about it. He stumbled back to his own cubicle, slumping into his chair, distressed at the thought of his fate.

He ran his tongue over his teeth, and they felt covered in layers of plaque. They were only moments away from rotting out of his mouth entirely, he was sure. It would probably hurt like hell, and how would he eat with nothing but gums? Would he have to survive on a liquids only diet for the rest of his life, eating broth and ice cream? Would he have to get dentures? He wasn’t sure which was worse.

Smick smack. He clicked his teeth together, just as a reassurance that they were still there, exactly as they should be. He was afraid, suddenly, that he would lose one without realizing it, and accidentally swallow it. That would cause a whole host of other problems. If only there was something he could do about it, something he could do to save himself…

It took Chan longer than it should’ve to realize that he could text Felix and ask him to visit him at work, with a toothbrush and toothpaste in tow. If he could just give his teeth a nice, thorough brushing, then surely they would be satisfied, and stick with him for at least a while longer. Smick smack. Yes, they were still there, but who knew how much time he had left…

Felix replied almost instantly: “I’ll be there as soon as I can” and “You haven’t eaten the brownie yet, have you?”

It was a little freaky that he knew. Chan looked over his shoulder, giving the security camera mounted on the wall behind him a skeptical look. Felix wasn’t over possessive or a tech genius, so surely he hadn’t hacked into the office’s cameras to watch over Chan during the day, right? He wouldn’t do that. Unless he had gone literally crazy with missing him…

No. That was a train of thought that he was not going to let himself go down. It was just an uncanny guess, that was all. 

“I was really hungry this morning, I’m sorry 😢It was super tasty…” 

“On my way now.”

𓂃˖˳·˖ ִֶָ ⋆🍃⋆ ִֶָ˖·˳˖𓂃 ִֶָ

Felix hadn’t gone downstairs the moment he’d woken up. He almost never did - He liked to take his time adjusting to being awake. He would scroll around on his phone, checking social media to see what he’d missed when he was asleep - Then continue scrolling for a while afterwards, just for good measure. Once his bladder felt about fit to burst, he would finally force himself to roll out of bed and begin his morning routine. He would use the bathroom, wash his hands and his face and brush his teeth, get dressed for the day and do his hair.

By the time he moseyed on over to the kitchen, he’d usually already been awake for an hour or more. And when he didn’t have a shift or other plans for his day, he really stretched it out. Sometimes he would wake up, see the sunlight streaming in through the windows, and roll over, clutching at whatever remnants of sleep still remained.

All of which was to say: Felix didn’t see the note that Chan had left beside the brownies - The weed brownies - Until it was already much too late. He’d been in the middle of pulling his shoes and jacket on, hoping to intercept Chan before he sat down for lunch, when he’d received the text message requesting dental supplies. It wasn’t overly concerning on its own, but - Within the context of the missing brownie, it put a sinking feeling in the pit of Felix’s stomach. 

He’d been afraid to ask for confirmation, but he knew that he had to. And when he got it - He knew that he had fucked up.

The plan had been to give Chan the brownie when they were home, when it was safe for him to get a little high and relax. But they had no idea of how he would react to the TLC, and he wasn’t even aware that his brownies were spiked. It was possible that everything was fine…But what if it wasn’t? What if he made a fool of himself at the office, and he lost the promotion? Would he ever forgive Felix? He’d been so stupid to just leave them on the counter overnight, so dumb to not even consider this as a possibility. 

Felix was typically an overly cautious driver. He had procrastinated getting his license for as long as possible, happy to catch a ride with his parents long after his friends had secured their own freedom. Even now that he’d been driving for a few years, he still felt on edge every time he got behind the wheel, overly aware that his life - And the lives of those on the road around him - Were in his hands. While everyone else he knew took speed limits as a mere suggestion, Felix obeyed them religiously.

Today, though - Today, he needed to get to Chan as quickly as possible. Today, he pressed his foot down on the gas pedal and dared to go five, sometimes even ten miles faster than the suggested limit. If there was any proof that this was serious to him, it was that. 

Chan was typically a calm and cool and collected person. He kept his wits about him, even in stressful situations. He was the eye of the storm, someone to rely on, a shoulder to lean on. So he would be fine, right? Felix hoped that he was worried for nothing. Maybe he’d eaten an orange in the break room, and one of the stringy bits had gotten stuck in his teeth, and that was the cause of his toothbrush emergency. Maybe the weed hadn’t hit him yet. Anything was possible, right? 

Felix’s hands were sweaty as he walked through the lobby. He greeted the security guard sitting behind the front desk, who recognized him from the handful of times he had gone to visit Chan on his lunch break, or when he picked him up at the end of his shift - Back when he still had shifts that ended. 

The guard perked up at the sight of Felix, probably bored to death from endless hours of scanning for a threat that never emerged. He gestured for Felix to come over. Felix knew that he wanted to engage him in a conversation, and usually he would oblige, but today he couldn’t be pulled in. He knew that this guy could easily hold him captivate for half an hour, telling him stories and showing him pictures and videos of his two young children. It wasn’t that Felix didn’t enjoy talking to him, but - This was potentially a time-sensitive situation. He needed to keep moving.

Felix stayed on the far side of the lobby, making a beeline straight to the elevator. While its doors usually opened right away, as if it had been waiting just for him, today they took their sweet time. He shuffled his feet awkwardly back and forth, feeling both impatient and impolite as he felt the guard’s gaze boring a hole through his back. 

He practically darted into the elevator when the doors finally crept open, as if his life were on the line. He punched the number for Chan’s floor several times, as if doing so might signal to the elevator that he was in a hurry, that it was important that they get on the move a little bit faster than usual. If anything, it seemed to piss it off, and the doors remained open for a few extra moments, even after Felix pressed the button to close them. He waved awkwardly at the security guard as they crept close, sending him a sunshine smile and hoping that his goodwill was apparent, even though he was in a rush.

He thought about how much time Chan had probably spent in this elevator as it finally began its ascent. What did he do as he waited? Did he take his phone out and scroll through his messages? Did he lean his head against the wall, closing his eyes for one last moment of rest before his day truly began? Did he usually ride up with one of his coworkers, making small talk with them? Did he chug his coffee, hoping that it kicked in faster, that it woke him up? Did he feel dread, knowing that he was back in the damn building again? Or was it all the same to him? 

It always took Felix a moment to orient himself once he stepped out onto Chan’s floor, looking at the identical cubicles positioned side by side, at all of the people who spent their days trapped within their allotted ten square feet, hunched over their computers. If asked to explain how to find Chan, Felix probably wouldn’t have been able to guide a lost soul. Did he have to take one turn, or two? Was Chan the fourth one in, or the fifth? His subconscious knew how to find his boyfriend better than he did. All he had to do was start walking, and before he knew it, he would be right in front of him.

He found Chan exactly where he always found him, sitting prim and proper sitting in his desk chair, looking focused and committed as he clacked away on his computer. He felt relief seeing him like that. He wasn’t sure exactly what he’d thought he was going to find - Chan covered in chip dust because he’d gotten an overwhelming case of the munchies? Chan surrounded by his coworkers, entertaining them as he put on a show? Chan huddled in the corner, victim to a paranoid high? If he was still working, though - Maybe everything was fine. Maybe he wasn’t high yet at all.

“Hi, baby.” Felix rested a gentle hand on Chan’s shoulder, doing his best not to scare him, but he jumped in his seat anyways, startled. Chan swiveled to face Felix, hand clutched against his chest.

“You scared me,” He panted. “What are you doing here? What a nice surprise. I’m so happy to see you. You look so beautiful today.” Chan’s smile lit up his entire face, and he motioned for Felix to come closer. He kissed him - Not a light, chaste kiss like they usually exchanged in public, but a passionate one with tongue and fervor. Felix felt a little flushed when they finally parted for air.

“You asked me to come, remember? With your toothbrush?” Felix lifted the plastic baggie he’d stored Chan’s dental supplies in.

“Oh.” Chan’s eyes widened, enough for Felix to see that his pupils were far more dilated than usual. Definitely high, then. “My teeth.” He opened his mouth awkwardly, smashing it back closed with an audible smick-smack noise.

As if summoned by the sound, Seungmin joined the two of them in Chan’s office.

“Hey, Felix. Please tell me that you’re here to take him home, or to fix -” He waved his hand around, vaguely gesturing towards Chan’s entire being - “Whatever this is. He’s being very weird today, and it’s making it hard to focus.”

“Yes, of course! I’m so sorry, he’s just - He’s had a bit of a cold, but he didn’t want to miss any time at work, so we drugged him up on a lot of cold medicine, and it’s clearly taking its toll. So yeah, I’m here to take him back home, so he can get some rest!” Felix hadn’t played an improv game since his time spent in high school acting courses, but he’d retained his ability to think on his toes.

Seungmin had heard nary a cough or a sneeze, or even a snuffle, coming from Chan’s direction, so he seemed skeptical to believe this explanation. For his part, Chan looked equally confused.

“I’m not-” He began, eyebrows furrowed together, but Felix cut him off before he could continue.

“He’s not feeling too good! But don’t worry, I’m here now, sweetheart. You have everything that you need, right?” Felix had officially fallen in damage-mitigation mode, gathering up Chan’s phone and wallet from where he stored them in his desk drawer.

He expected some resistance from Chan, who had been reluctant to call out of work even when he was genuinely too sick to get out of bed. He was the kind of person who stuck to his task, no matter what adversity came his way. Today, though, he was genuinely out of it, and easily distracted.

“Felix.” Chan cupped his chin within his hands, giving him a dreamy look. “I can’t believe that you’re here…” 

Felix grabbed his hand and cupped it within his own, giving it a quick squeeze and shooting him a reassuring smile. “I would always come for you when you need me. You know that.”

He didn’t expect to see Chan’s eyes fill with tears.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Felix panicked slightly. 

In all the years of their relationship, he had never seen Chan cry. He’d asked him why, once - Why he never let himself loose in that particular way. He’d been worried that it meant Chan didn’t trust him, didn’t feel safe around him. Chan had revealed that this was a habit he’d held onto since childhood - That he used to cry at school after his parents dropped him off, and he’d been bullied relentlessly for it. That after since then, he’d found it difficult to allow himself to cry.

Felix knew that it was the weed that was loosening his boundaries, that was drawing his emotions to the surface. But he also knew that sober Chan would rather die than to expose himself in such a way at the office, so he grabbed both of his hands, pulling him up, cooing at him gently as he tried to inflict damage control.

It didn’t work. The tears spilled over, and Chan began making heartbreaking sniffling sounds. He buried his head into Felix’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close, holding onto him for dear life. Felix leaned into him and rubbed the back of his head, trying to look around for a secluded space for the two of them to hide. And…There. The bathroom would work.

“I’m not even sad,” Chan sobbed against Felix’s chest. “I don’t know why this is happening.”

“It’s okay, you can let it out. I’m right here.” If Felix had known that a little intoxication would be what Chan needed to finally open up, to release the dam he’d put so much time and effort into holding back over the years - Well, he would’ve done this ages ago.

“I just love you so much.” Chan’s hands held a tight grip on Felix’s shirt. He wouldn’t have been able to break away from him, from this embrace, if he had wanted to. “You’re s-so pretty. And so nice. And you bake me brownies.” Chan hiccuped.

“And that’s making you cry?” Felix asked, gently stroking Chan’s hair. He felt Chan nod underneath his touch.

“I’m s-so lucky that I get to look at you.” 

“You’re so silly. I’m not that pretty,” Felix chuckled. He didn’t except this to make Chan cry even harder, somewhat closer to a wail now. He hurriedly tried to hush him, rubbing his back and attempting to wipe away his tears as they pooled and streamed down his cheeks.

“Don’t say that,” Chan sobbed into his neck. “Don’t ever say that. You’re the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen. The most beautiful person in the w-world.”

“Okay, okay. I didn’t realize how much that would upset you. I’m pretty, okay?” Felix felt silly saying it, but he wanted to satiate him, wanted to make him feel better.

“You can’t just say that because y-you know that I want you to. I need you to believe it.” Chan was stubborn, insistent. It was charming, really, as much as it was frustrating. 

Chan leaned back a little so he could cup Felix’s face within his hands, so he could really look into his eyes. Chan’s own eyes were bombarded with a fresh wave of tears as he did, like he really was overwhelmed by his boyfriend’s beauty. It made Felix’s heart feel as if it would melt. How could he ever love him more?

“You have the prettiest freckles,” Chan murmured, brushing his thumb across Felix’s cheeks. He leaned forward to scatter kisses across them. “And the cutest nose.” His nose got a kiss, too. “And your eyes…I love looking into your eyes…I know that you wish they were blue, but I wouldn’t ever change any part of you. I think that your eyes are the prettiest shade of brown I have ever seen. I think that my favorite color is brown because of you.” 

Felix had not expected love soliloquies. He hadn’t realized that losing his inhibitions would result in such an outpouring of love for him. He hadn’t realized that Chan was holding this sort of admiration back all the time. And how lucky was he, to have a boyfriend who cherished him in such a way?

“I love your eyelashes, and your jawline, and the shape of your ears. I love your earlobes.” Chan gave Felix’s earlobe the smallest of tugs, and giggled as he did. “I love your hair. I think you’re beautiful when it’s long and blonde and when it’s short and black and when it’s blue or purple or pink. I think it’s a little ridiculous, how every look suits you, how you look so gorgeous no matter what. I always think, no, Lix couldn’t possibly look more beautiful than he does right now, and every day, you prove me wrong. How is that possible? How are you possible?”

Chan was kissing him again, and Felix was leaning into it, into him, because how could he not? It didn’t even matter that they were scrunched into an employee bathroom that was clearly built for only one occupant at a time. He got so little time with Chan like this, where it was just the two of them, where they had all of the time in the world, and -

Felix was getting carried away, getting caught up in the moment. It was a little hard not to, when Chan was being so romantic, when his tongue was hot and heavy in his mouth. The truth of the situation was that he needed to get him home, needed to get both of them out of there. He should wet a paper towel and wash Chan’s face and shuffle him out of there before anyone knocked on the door, wondering what they were doing in there. Maybe they could pick up this particular conversation once they were back home, in the bed that they shared, when they really would have the time to take their time.

“I love your jawline…” Chan took his time on this particular body part, really getting into it, sucking. Felix should bat him away, because he was going to leave little red marks, because it was going to be a dead giveaway as to what they’d gotten up to in here, but - It felt so good, and he couldn’t bring himself to pull away. “Is it bad that your neck turns me on? That’s weird, right? I can’t help it…You’re so pretty…” 

Felix’s neck was sensitive. All of his nerve endings felt like they were on fire when Chan was nipping at it, sucking hard enough to leave a hickey. He was barely touching him, and Felix’s back was already arching, because Chan knew exactly how to press all of his buttons, how to drive him wild. What he shouldn’t be doing was slipping out of his mind at an alarming speed - But it was hard to be the responsible one when Chan was complimenting him, when he was kissing him, when his hands had found their way to his ass, and he was squeezing.

“We shouldn’t,” He managed to gasp into his mouth, because that was all he was capable of right now. It was impressive that he’d managed to mount a defense at all. He didn’t move away, though - He found himself doing the exact opposite by pure instinct, grinding down into Chan instead. He could feel through his jeans that he was already hard, just from making out with him, even though they were awkwardly positioned on a closed toilet seat. 

“Have I ever told you that you have a beautiful butt?” Chan giggled, ignoring him, and how could Felix not give into him when he was like this? It was a well known fact that Chan would do anything for Felix, that he would give him the world if he could, but the reverse was true, too. There was definitely a chance that they would be caught, and the consequences of that would be disastrous. But Felix couldn’t deny that he wanted to stay exactly where he was, that he wanted to give into him, that for once he wanted to be the one who gave. He wanted Chan to have everything that he wanted, too. Even if that something was sloppy sex in a bathroom stall in his office building. 

“You know how I feel about yours,” Felix muttered, feeling like he was the one who was high, snaking his own hands around Chan’s back, down towards his fiancé’s perfectly sculpted arse. He’d told him how nice it was on their first date, just blurted it out like an idiot, and he’d thought for sure that he’d ruined the whole thing before it had even begun, that he’d fumbled the most gorgeous man he’d ever seen through his sheer inability to keep his damn mouth shut. But Chan had liked it - He’d laughed, and given it a little wiggle for Felix’s enjoyment, and Felix hadn’t shut up about it since, hadn’t missed even a single opportunity to worship it.

“I’ve got nothing on you,” Chan said, his face buried in Felix’s chest now, and when had he managed to unbutton his shirt? Felix shuddered when Chan licked a stripe across one of his nipples. This really shouldn’t have been as sexy as it was, but this was Bang Chan. He could make any situation sexy - Even if this really was one of their worst ideas ever. 

“We should wait. Until we’re back home. This is not…It’s not a good place…We might get caught, and I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble. What if someone needs to use the bathroom, and they hear us, and -” It took a considerable effort on Felix’s part to move his hands from where they’d been wrapped around Chan’s arse, to try and shakily guide his buttons back to where they needed to be.

Chan moved his own hands to cover Felix’s, to make him stop. “I want you,” He said, looking right into Felix’s eyes, so he could see just how much he meant it. “I don’t want to wait. I think I’ll die if I have to wait. I think that I really will, Lixie. We can make it fast. We can be quiet. But please don’t make me wait.” He bit his lip, and he was pleading, and fuck. Guess that they were doing this.

“Fast, we’ll be fast. And quiet.” Felix was just repeating words now, his mind somewhat in daze, and he really hoped that they could pull this off, that Chan wouldn’t lose his promotion over this, that he wouldn’t get fired for this, that Seungmin wasn’t paying attention to the fact that they’d disappeared into the bathroom and never came back out, that nobody in this office had to pee right now.

“So fast,” Chan murmured, unzipping Felix’s pants in one fluid motion,  sliding them down to mid-thigh with no effort at all. As if he did things like this all the time - As if he’d spent a considerable amount of time dreaming about doing something like this with Felix here. He swept a finger over Felix’s small bulge, protected only by the thin cloth of his underwear, and Felix bit his lip. The fast part wasn’t going to be a problem - He was so wet already - But remaining quiet? That would be more of a challenge.

He returned the favor for Chan, working on his pants a bit more clumsily, his hands shaky. He was excited, and somewhat anxious about being caught, and that only turned him on more. He felt like a novice, like this was their first time, like he hadn’t had sex with him more times than he could count. 

“You’re so cute. My baby. My beautiful boy. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts.” This was the opposite of dirty talk - Chan’s words were sugary sweet - But it did the trick all the same, made Felix ache to have him inside of him. He’d already shimmied Felix’s underwear down, was teasing his t-dick with slow circles. “My boy has the prettiest pussy…” 

There had been a time when Felix was tempted to get bottom surgery, but being with Chan had changed his mind. Not that Chan had tried to talk him out of it - He would never do that - But through the way that he had accepted it as part of him so easily. Chan hadn’t flinched when Felix came out to him as trans, hadn’t faltered for a moment, had never questioned the fact that some boys had vaginas. Felix became more comfortable with his own body through Chan’s worship of him, through the way that he loved him. 

Chan was playing with his clit now, and Felix was bucking up against him, and he knew they said that it would be fast, but he needed it to be faster. He needed Chan to be inside of him, now. Suddenly it felt like nothing else in the world mattered but this, but them, and the magic they could make together. 

“Christopher,” He hissed into Chan’s ear. “Stop taking your time. I need you inside of me, now.” 

“I want to make sure it feels good for you too,” Chan said, his stubbornness rearing up, his hand staying exactly where it was, rubbing in slow circles, driving Felix mad. 

“You don’t have to worry about that,” He whined, working Chan’s dick out of his underwear, wrapping his hand around the length of him and stroking up and down, giving him a taste of his own medicine.

“Alright, okay,” Chan panted, positioning himself so he was lined up with Felix’s opening and slowly working his way inside. “S’good?” He asked, checking in before he began moving.

Felix wanted to snap at him to go faster, wanted to tease him for taking his time, wanted to beg him to start moving, goddamnit, but he couldn’t deny it was sweet, the way that Chan always checked to make sure he was comfortable, that he prioritized Felix’s pleasure. 

“Good,” He gasped instead, clutching onto Chan’s shoulders for support. Fuck, his boyfriend had such a nice body. There was nothing but pure power in those muscles as he started to thrust, and Felix could tell that he was holding back a little bit, that he wasn’t using all of his strength. He didn’t want to hurt him, and although Felix wanted to urge him to let go, he had just enough presence of mind not to. If Chan pushed any harder, their thumping against the wall would give them away for sure. 

“Have I ever told you…There’s nothing better than the way you look when I’m inside of you…” Chan was holding Felix on top of him, one hand on his back and the other on his hip to keep him steady as he thrusted, but he was still managing to compliment him, to make his admiration known. 

Felix leaned down to kiss him, swaying his hips to play his part, and moaned into Chan’s mouth when he began playing with his clit again.

“Sshhh,” Chan teased him. “We have to be quiet.” 

“Then stop - Fuck - Touching me like that,” Felix complained, not wanting him to stop at all. It had only been a handful of minutes, and he already felt his core warming up, already felt the beginning touches of an approaching orgasm. There was just something about the way Chan looked at him, how he spoke to him, and the danger of fucking around in a public place. The idea that anyone could knock on the door, could walk in on them at any time, made Felix feel like he was hurtling towards the finish line. 

“You’re so wet…so tight…So good…I missed you so much, baby. I missed this. I wish that we could be together every minute of every hour. I wish that this never had to end.” Chan’s eyes looked wet, like he might start crying again. 

Felix cupped Chan’s face within his hands, stroked his thumbs across his cheeks. “I’m always with you, even when we aren’t together. And soon - ah - someday we’ll have as much time as we need, okay? And for now - Isn’t it better somehow, finally what you’ve waited for for so long, what you’ve wanted so much?” He rested his head against Chan’s forehead.

“You’re right.” Chan had maintained a steady rhythm, and it was doing the trick. He groaned, deep in his throat, trying not to make too much of a sound. It was one of the sexiest things Felix had ever heard. “I’m close. Are you close?” 

Felix nodded, unable to speak any longer. All there was was this moment, the glorious warmth of Chan inside of him, of finally being as close as he wanted them to be, and how fucking good it felt. 

They were interrupted by a knock on the door, the worst possible outcome for them. Felix stilled, as if they were playing the statue game, as if the person outside could see through doors but might just miss Felix if he were still enough. 

“Are you two okay in there?” The voice was familiar. Seungmin’s. “Because if you don’t mind, I kind of have to piss?” 

Okay. This was fine. They could deal with this. They could get through this. Felix had an idea.

“Ah, um - Sorry!” He was also sorry about the fact that, although Chan had stopped thrusting, he hadn’t stopped his fancy finger work around Felix’s clit. It was making it hard for him to focus, which he really needed to do in order to try and pull this off. “Chan-hyung is just, um - Very sick! But we’ll be done soon, I promise! Just - Cleaning up!” He gave Chan a look of desperation, of ‘Please play along and help me pull this off.’ 

Helpfully, Chan made a realistic gagging noise, which did the trick. 

“Take your time, take your time!” Seungmin sounded somewhat frantic. “And clean up well! I don’t want to catch anything!” 

There was a collective holding of breaths until enough time had passed that they were certain Seungmin had walked away. Chan did his very best to hold in his giggles, but he was only human, and soon enough they were spilling out, infectious and wonderful and much too loud. Felix put a hand over his mouth to shush him, his own chest bouncing with bottled up laughter. 

“Oh my God,” Chan wheezed once he was able to pull himself somewhat together. “That was close.” 

Their efforts were somewhat more focused after that, determined to finish, and it wasn’t hard when they were both already so close, when the incident had made the room feel hotter, made the sex feel more electric. Chan pounded into Felix’s g-spot and he had to bite his lip to avoid crying out, hard enough to draw blood. Chan noticed his reaction and made the same move again, and again, and again, until Felix was falling apart on top of him, until he was coming so hard he saw stars, until Chan was right there with him, and Felix could feel him come inside of him and swore that it made him peak again.

They allowed themselves a moment, just a moment, to catch their breaths. To have a shared appreciation for the bliss they had just shared, for a high that felt particularly satisfying because of its secrecy and urgency. 

“I love you,” Felix whispered, and it wasn’t out of fear of being caught, but rather because hushed tones seemed more suitable, because he didn’t want to break them out of this particular moment, even though he knew that they would have to. Nothing good lasts forever, but oh God, if it could.

“I love you so much,” Chan agreed, and it soothed the ache of him slipping back out of Felix just a little bit. 

They spent the next minute pulling up pants and zippers, Felix buttoning his shirt back up, Chan running his hands through Felix’s long hair, trying to put the strands back into place. Felix attempted to smooth out the crinkles in Chan’s shirt, but that was a lost cause. He finally washed off Chan’s face, like he should’ve done in the first place. It was a surprisingly tender routine, making themselves presentable for the rest of the world, preparing themselves to go back out into it. 

Chan was still clingy when they walked out, clutching Felix’s hand like it would physically pain him to let go, walking much closer to him than was necessary, so they were constantly bumping into each other. Felix tried to walk at a fast clip, hoping to get them out of there as soon as possible, before anyone looked too closely, before anyone asked any questions. 

He let out a sigh of relief once they were in the elevator with the door closed, heading back to the ground floor, on their way back home, finally. He leaned into Chan, whose mind was in an entirely different place, and took their newfound privacy as an opportunity to kiss him again - A handsy one, with his tongue shoved halfway down Felix’s throat and his hands all over the place, tilting Felix’s jaw up and underneath his shirt and creeping below his panties again.

“Mmmph,” Was the best protest that Felix was able to manage. Chan, ever the gentleman - Although he was really edging the boundaries right about now - Let go just long enough for Felix to take a breath, for him to speak. “I can’t take you anywhere,” He sighed, somewhat convinced at this point that Chan wanted the two of them to be caught.

“It isn’t my fault that you’re so irresistible…And since you’re mine…I’m obligated to take advantage of that, aren’t I? To keep you happy? To please you?” And he was sinking to his knees, right there in the elevator, and they didn’t have time for this, they really didn’t - They were moving steadily downwards, only one floor until the lobby - But could Felix be blamed for wanting it, for wanting this, for wanting him? He slapped his palm down on the emergency stop button, and sent one more quick prayer that nobody was paying too much attention today, that nobody was going to read between the lines and discern what they were doing.

Chan wasted no time at all in tugging Felix’s pants back down, in using his fingers to push Felix’s underwear to the side, in diving between his folds. The absurd sucking sounds he made as he lapped up Felix’s pussy should not have been as hot as it was. 

“You taste so good,” He moaned, sneaking one finger in and curling it, continuing to suck at Felix’s clit, until Felix was leaning against the wall, knees bent, struggling to remain upright.

Felix had never quite come down from his first high - And how ironic it was, that Chan was the one who had devoured a brownie full of TLC and yet Felix was the one with his head in the clouds - So it wasn’t long at all before he came again, legs shaking, Chan’s head between his legs and hands grasping his thighs the only thing keeping him from collapsing. Felix put a hand on Chan’s head to steady himself, and Chan took that as permission to keep going, to see just how many times he could make Felix orgasm in the space of the few minutes they had stolen away for themselves, and - Felix could see him palming himself over his pants, and was he hard again already? Was that even possible?

Felix had never been able to get off on being eaten out before. He’d dissociated when anyone went between his legs, because he felt disconnected with that particular part of himself. His vagina had never felt like it belonged to him - It felt like a spare part he’d been given at birth that he wanted nothing to do with. But Chan had a way of making him feel so comfortable within his own body, and he taught Felix that he was able to reach heights that he’d never known were possible. Maybe it never would’ve been possible, if he’d never met Chan.

Now - “If you don’t stop, I won’t be able to walk out of here,” Felix warned, knowing that Chan could make him come again if he kept going, knowing that they could go on and on like this forever, a never ending loop of bliss. 

“I can carry you.” Chan’s fingers were still inside of Felix, still moving, still pumping in and back out, still making Felix’s head spin. Was it possible to come so hard, or so many times, that you literally blacked out? 

“That would look…Weird…” It was hard to properly voice his thoughts with Chan fingering his g-spot and his clit at the same time. It was hard to have thoughts at all, really, and - What was one more time, when he was already so close? 

“I don’t care. I’ve spent so much time trapped in the walls of this building, putting in the work, being the perfect employee. I’ve started my work days before this place is even open - Minho had to make a key for me, because security wasn’t even scheduled yet - And I’ve stayed long past when everyone else has gone home. When there’s a new project, I’m the first set of eyes on it, and before we turn it in, I’m the last one to look it over, to make sure there aren’t any mistakes, to make sure it will satisfy our clients, and if there are mistakes, then it’s up to me to fix them. 

“Nobody ever asks if I’m okay, if I’m burned out, if I need to take a break. They’re all more than happy to let me take on the lion’s share of the work, and for what? It’s all for what, a chance at a raise, at a promotion? Meanwhile, I never get to see you, and I’m so tired all of the time, and I never complain, but - I want to be with you. I want to be doing this. This is the point of it all, of being alive, and if I don’t get to do this - If I don’t get to make you come, if I don’t get to see your beautiful face while your eyes roll back - Then I swear to God, Felix, I am going to fucking lose it.”

Chan was touching upon serious subjects, about how he really felt about his job and the time he was putting into it, about how close he was to crashing. But he was also telling Felix how much he loved him, how important their time together was to him, how much he enjoyed doing this - And it was his words as much as his actions that sent Felix over the edge again, coming so hard that his eyes rolled back into his head just the way Chan wanted them to, coming so hard that he saw nothing but warm shades of red, that the world went silent for a moment.

Chan was there waiting for him when he came back down to earth, a satisfied smirk on his face as he sucked his fingers into his mouth, licking off Felix’s juices and acting like they were a delicacy. When he was done putting on his show, he lovingly adjusted Felix’s underwear back to their proper position - The thin cloth was soaked - Shimmied his jeans back up his thighs, redid his zipper. It was a funeral of sorts, to be done, even if just for the moment.

“You okay?” He asked once he was back on his own two feet, when they were once again face to face. Felix kissed him before he answered, could taste himself on Chan’s tongue.

“I’m great, sweetheart. I’ve never been better. I might need to lean on you a little bit walking out of here, but…” He sighed wistfully. “What about you? How are you, really?” 

“I’m tired, baby. I sort of want to burn this building down. I want to run away and live in a cottage in the middle of the woods with you and forget about capitalism entirely. I want to go home and absolutely ravage you. I would also really like to grab something to eat on the way home…I’m actually very hungry, now that I think about it…” 

“We can pick up something to eat, whatever you’d like. Although it’s a surprise that you’re still hungry, after the meal you just had,” Felix teased him.

“You naughty, naughty boy,” Chan said, as if he hadn’t been the one on his knees. He pressed the button for the elevator to resume its descent, for the two of them to rejoin the world. 

The security guard was paying a little too much attention as they made their way across the lobby, Felix somewhat stumbling as if he were drunk, Chan’s arm wrapped around his waist to steady him. 

“I can drive,” Chan offered once they made it to the car.

“Oh, uh, no, I’ve got it! I’m fine, I promise. Get a little bit of rest, let me take care of you.” Felix was not about to let him behind the wheel when he was high.

“It’s really no big deal-” But Felix cut him off, opening the passenger door and ushering him inside.

Chan ordered almost everything on the menu of the drive-through, his eyes as wide as dinner plates.

“I don’t know why I’m so hungry today,” He mused as Felix handed him the bags - Yes, multiple bags - Of their food. 

“I might know why.” Felix drummed his fingers on the wheel anxiously, hesitant to make his confession. He was afraid it would ruin the warm, happy atmosphere they were fostering. He was afraid that Chan would be mad at him for basically drugging him involuntarily - And he would be well within his rights to feel that way. Still, he owed it to Chan to tell him, whether he wanted to or not. “So, you know the brownies that I made last night? The one that you ate at work today?”

“Ugh, yes. Felix, your brownies are so good. I might have another one once we get back.” Chan leaned his head against the headrest, daydreaming about his dessert even as he was currently chewing a handful of french fries.

“Don’t!” Felix yelped, startling Chan. “The brownies - Look - They’re not my normal brownies, okay? They’re…Augh…This is so hard to say.” If he wasn’t driving, he’d have his head buried in his hands.

“What is it? You’re scaring me a little bit.” He wasn’t so scared that he couldn’t take another massive bite out of his burger, though.

“Last night, Hyunjin asked me to make some weed brownies for him. And when you got back it was late, and I forgot to tell you, and I didn’t think that you would take one with you - I mean, I should’ve known, but - And I didn’t think you would eat it so early, either, I thought that I would have time to warn you, to stop you -” His cheeks were a bright shade of strawberry red as he confessed, wanting to die from embarrassment. “It’s okay if you’re mad at me. You should be! I basically drugged you! I got you high while you were still at work! Anything could’ve happened! If anything bad does happen because of this, it’s all my fault!” 

“So you’re saying…That you fed me marijuana brownies.”

“Yes.” Felix pretended that his eyes were laser focused on the road because he was a good driver, and not because he was terrified to look at Chan, to see how he was taking this information.

He didn’t expect the burst of laughter to escape from Chan, for him to laugh so hard that he had to put his food down so he didn’t choke, so hard that that he had to clutch his sides and tears crept out of his eyes. 

“You aren’t…mad?” Felix asked, still a little wary of Chan’s hysteria.

“This is the funniest thing that has ever happened, ever. Which apparently might be because I’m high, so maybe check in again later, but - Oh my God, I can’t breathe - Holy shit, this is funny as hell.” 

“Alright, okay, take it easy.” Felix took one hand off of the wheel to pat Chan on the shoulder. He was an endless surprise today, each action as unanticipated as the one before it. Maybe he should get him high more often.

It was evening by the time Chan’s high started to fade, when he began to settle back into himself. They’d had sex several more times, more than taking advantage of a free afternoon together. They lay together on the bed, naked and tucked into each other’s arms. Felix considered it a very realistic possibility that he may never regain full control of his limbs, that he would be trapped within these sheets forever. It wouldn’t be the worst possible future.

“How are you feeling?” He asked, tracing shapes on Chan’s abdomen, luxuriating in being next to him, in having nothing to do and nowhere to go. He already felt an ache in his chest knowing that tomorrow they’d be right back to their normal schedule, knowing that their time together was so limited.

“Sleepy,” Chan replied, despite the fact that they’d just woken up from a nap. “And happy.”

“You really aren’t mad at me, even now that you’ve had time to think about it?” Felix couldn’t help but ask again.

“I just spent half of the day having sex with my boyfriend. What is there to possibly be mad about?” He had his fingers threaded through Felix’s hair and was lazily playing with the strands.

“What if you get in trouble for leaving early? Or for what we did in the bathroom? And the elevator?” 

“If I get in trouble, I get in trouble. But I don’t regret a thing, Lixie. And anyways, I know that it wasn’t on purpose, and I would never hold that against you.”

“You’re the best boyfriend ever. You’re going to be the best husband ever.” Felix nuzzled into him, savoring his body heat.

“I’m really glad that we got to have this time together. Would you hold it against me if I took another brownie to work tomorrow, and we did this all over again?” Chan was joking. Mostly.

“Brownies are for out of office hours only. I’m not having sex with you in a bathroom again. I don’t even want to think about how unsanitary that was.” Felix fake-shuddered.

“That’s funny. I don’t seem to remember hearing you complain at the time,” Chan mused.

“Yeah, because I’m supposed to complain about anything when your dick is inside of me,” Felix grumbled, looking back down at it now, thinking thoughts. He should really be done by now, but their sex had been so infrequent these days, so was it really his fault for being so damn horny? 

He didn’t make a move, though, because mostly he was exhausted, and satisfied, and long-abandoned muscles that he’d forgotten he even had ached. He was halfway to falling asleep again when Chan spoke. With his head resting on his chest, Felix could feel the rumble of his voice.

“I really love you.” 

“I love you too.”

“I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me either.” Felix shifted so he could steal a quick kiss.

“But next time, maybe make your brownies without any special ingredients?” There was laughter in Chan’s eyes as he said it.

“What do you mean? I’ll always make them with love, and that’s the most special ingredient of all.” Felix batted his eyelashes, acting innocent.

Chan gave him a look, like: You know what I mean, and Felix did.

“Alright, okay, I do. I promise.” He linked their pinkies together, and he meant it.

But the next time that Chan became too stressed out, the next time he started fraying at the edges, the next time Felix missed him so much that it hurt - Well, he had a little trick up his sleeve now, a new weapon in his arsenal. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to use it - But after the marathon sex session they’d just had, he wouldn’t exactly mind it if he did.