Chapter Text
HYUNJIN
They didn't start as rivals. Not at all. In fact, it was quite the opposite.
When Felix first entered JYP, Hyunjin’s impression of him was the same as everybody’s who got to know him: a shy little guy, with a beautiful face and a voice so deep it brought chills to everyone's spine.
Hyunjin was delighted with the way Felix was always after him, trying to make friends, asking him for tips on dancing. Never having been the modest type, he became even more full of himself seeing that guy, who was already a great dancer by the way, asking him for advice nonstop.
The friendship happened naturally, thanks to Felix’s relentlessness. Everyone loved that little ray of sunshine and to be his favorite made Hyunjin cocky. Made him believe that maybe there was something more to it.
He was used to being popular. The high school prince with a beauty so unquestionable that got him appointed visual of Stray Kids before the group even debuted.
What he was not used to was being rejected.
✧✧✧
Although Felix was always obviously handsome, in Hyunjin's mind he was first categorized in the lines of cute and endearing. A sweet boy that needed to be protected.
That category changed as the years went on and Hyunjin watched him lose his childish figures and childish ways, right before his eyes. He watched Felix gain sharper lines on his face, slim muscles on his body, and a mischievous undertone to his posture. A poise in his demeanor that made it clear he didn't need protection anymore.
People began to ask him about Felix. If he was seeing anyone, if Hyunjin thought they had a chance with him. Hyunjin could not have that. He didn't nurture that boy into a man for someone else to enjoy the feast.
There was no doubt in Hyunjin’s mind that Felix would want him. Everybody wanted him, and he made the most of this. For the past years, he had lived the best life. Collecting hook-ups, never getting attached, enjoying the pros of being a young, beautiful idol.
Maybe it was time to settle down with someone for a bit.
Felix seemed like the perfect choice for the position. He was gorgeous, talented and had become as desired in the industry as Hyunjin was. The fact that they were already friends was a nice bonus. If someone was supposed to have Felix, it should be him. They would be the royal couple of that place.
Until Felix said no.
Hyunjin hadn’t actually asked. He just kissed him. And Felix kissed him back. Let him taste those perfect lips in a skillful kiss that made it obvious this was not his first time. He let Hyunjin have that. A kiss so perfect it had altered the chemistry of his brain. One single kiss. Before pulling away and telling him that he had misunderstood things.
“I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I don't know what made you think otherwise, but I don't see you in that way. We are in the same group. We are almost like brothers. This would be too messy. I have a clear plan for my future and I'm not willing to jeopardize it. I hope you understand and that we can still be friends.”
Friends. Yeah, right.
FELIX
“You do what I couldn't do, ok!?”
Mrs. Lee's words followed Felix all the way from Sidney to Seoul. They accompanied him still, and he was sure they would never leave his mind or his heart. They were his mantra. His mission.
His mother had dreamed of becoming an idol. A dream that could never be fulfilled, due to his grandmother's ideas of what was respectable behavior for a young girl.
Now Felix was given the opportunity to accomplish what she couldn't, and he would not take that for granted. He would become the biggest idol in the industry. Make his mother proud. That was his main goal.
The easiest way to achieve it? Connecting with the right people.
Bang Chan was a no brainer. He was elite. To be on his team was to be on the path to success. And, as luck seemed to be on Felix's side, he was aussie like him.
Felix wasn’t an asshole. He didn't just see Chan as a way to his means. He admired the leadership in him. How he had endured seven years as a trainee without losing his caring side. Felix wanted to learn from him. The bond between them was genuine. They had a piece of home in each other, and this was an unmeasurable gift.
Through Chan, he met the people who would become his family. Who would walk the path to success alongside him, help him accomplish all his life ambitions, support him on his worst falls and celebrate his greatest achievements. He would do the same for them. Together they could conquer anything.
Lee Minho instantly became a true older brother. Their relationship was easy, comfortable. They would always eat together, talking about things of no consequence. Minho helped him with korean, he helped Minho with english. It really felt like they had grown up together.
Seo Changbin was his rock and his laughter. A reliable, constant presence. Offering support or crazy jokes. Anything you need it. Binnie-hyung was the one to go to for a shoulder to cry on, sincere advice, or an efficient cheer up time.
Born only one day apart from him, Han Jisung was the other half of the so-called Sunshine Twins. Having as many similarities as they had differences, their outgoing spirit brought them close. Together they were always brightening up the dullest moments, with something so silly that no one would be able to hold back their laughs.
His best friend came in the form of Kim Seungmin. And that was kinda crazy because they were total opposites. He was an extrovert, Seungmin was an introvert. He was sloppy, Seungmin was tidy. He was a technology geek, Seungmin appeared to have been born in 1900. Yet, somehow, they just clicked. Minnie was his first roommate and would forever be his first choice.
The maknae was the apple of his eyes. Of the entire group's eyes, if they were gonna be honest. Yang Jeongin was sweet and feisty. The youngest got used to getting his way, either using his cute foxy smile or being a total brat. But he could be the most mature sometimes, taking care of his hyungs like it was his second nature.
Among them, Hwang Hyunjin stood out in Felix's eyes at first sight. The man was a star from the beginning. Tall, handsome, talented, confident. He was everything Felix wanted to be.
Getting close to him was not as easy as it was with Chan, but Felix didn't give up until he succeeded. Always hyping him up, asking for tips and advice on dancing and stage presence. Anything that could help him improve his skills. But he didn't just take. He gave as well. He gave his friendship. He cared.
Felix would pursue his goals without stepping on anyone. Along with the relentlessness and determination, his mother also taught him to be good. To be kind and to help others. He would never let go of these principles.
Some of Hyunjin's confidence eventually rubbed it in on Felix. As the years passed, his features became sharper, his movements became lewder and all the eyes that once saw him as sweet and innocent began to look at him with dripping desire.
It was good. Being wanted. Having people to blow off steam with. To help him take the edge of spending every day with a smoking hot brunet he was supposed to see only as his brother, but had a really hard time doing so.
Felix would never allow himself to have anything with a group member, even though he had heard of Hyunjin’s reputation and was curious as hell. But if things went south, all his plans would be at risk. This was unnegotiable. Don't shit where you eat, right!?
His ambitions were his priority. His mother’s pride.
✧✧✧
This resolve was put to a test on a day like any other.
It was not uncommon for him and Hyunjin to stay for hours in bed, sharing music recommendations, talking about life, about work. Never about crushes or hook-ups, though. It was like they didn't want to admit to seeing each other under these lenses. Trying to keep their relationship chaste and harmless.
That night he could definitely see that Hyunjin was looking at him under those lenses. Between some tickling that Felix couldn't possibly remember how it started, he found himself pinned into bed, Hyunjin's knees straddling him, those big hands holding his wrists above his head, that sultry gaze extinguishing any laughter from his lungs. Any air, for that matter.
“What?” He was gasping. Lips parted.
“Hun?” Came the dumb answer. Hyunjin seemed hypnotized. Eyes fixed on Felix’s lips. He looked ready to devour him. And Felix was ready to let him.
“Why are you looking at me like this? Let me go.” He thought he was fighting to be released. He really wasn't.
Hyunin’s voice came out hoarse, as if he was coming back from sleep, although Felix had never seen him more awake. “You are too pretty for me to let go.”
The words were rapidly followed by action. In a second Hyunjin closed the distance between them. First, it was just a graze of lips. Felix had the time to protest. To turn his face. To stop that from going any further.
He didn't.
Could anyone blame him?
All his wet dreams were coming true.
The hottest man in the world was kissing him. Sue him for indulging a little. Or a lot.
At the realization that Felix was not stopping him, Hyunjin became bolder.
He traced the other’s lips with his tongue, asking for access. Felix gave him what he wanted, parting his lips again, feeling that delicious tongue invades his mouth. It was so much better than he had imagined.
To kiss him back was not a decision. It was a reflex. His tongue just worked on its own, chasing Hyunjin's, swirling it, tasting it. His teeth found themselves alive when they bit the brunet’s plump, juicy bottom lip. The moan that came out of Hyunjin's throat being engraved immediately in his brain.
It lasted much longer than it should. Especially since it shouldn't have happened in the first place. But it was worth every minute. Their mouths fit like they were made for each other. Their rhythm as familiar as it was on stage. They kissed like they danced. And they were the best that was.
Felix didn't know yet how he was gonna be able to move on from this. To look at those lips and prevent himself from wanting more. But he had too.
After they eventually parted their lips apart, grasping for air, Felix began to regain consciousness. To remember why this couldn't happen. Ever.
He pulled himself up and straightened his back. Gathering all his willpower to do what had to be done.
“I’m sorry, Hyunjin. I don't know what made you think otherwise, but I don't see you in that way. We are in the same group. We are almost like brothers. This would be too messy. I have a clear plan for my future and I'm not willing to jeopardize it. I hope you understand and that we can still be friends.”
Half was true. Half wasn't. But it was imperious for Felix that Hyunjin was discouraged. He knew he wouldn't be able to resist if the brunet ever tried for more. He was barely resisting now, as the words flew out of his mouth and he fought the urge to jump Hyunjin right there, to keep going from where they had stopped.
“Oh! I’m… I’m sorry! I didn't mean… to…” Hyunjin was scrambling for words, getting out of bed and pulling his hoodie down, trying to hide how hard he was. Felix wasn't much better, so he rapidly grabbed a pillow to cover his crotch.
“It's ok, Hyunie. It was the heat of the moment. I guess we’re under a lot of stress with the comeback biting at our ankles. It happens. Let's just forget it, ok!?” Felix had no hope of forgetting this, but he was gonna have to endure it.
“Yeah. Stress. The comeback. That's it. Sorry, Felix. It won't happen again. I have to go now.”
While professing his apologies, he vanished through the door, leaving Felix with the feeling that this would change their relationship in an unrepairable way.
HYUN LIX
The path to Hyunjin's home was a 10-minute walk. More than enough time for his feelings (and the tent on his pants) to calm down. Or so he hoped.
Gladly, his three roommates were already locked in their own bedrooms by the time he got home.
He walked into the bathroom still stone hard. Cold sweat damping his hairline. The memory of the kiss burning inside his mind.
On the other dorm, still lying on his bed, Felix didn't want to give in to desire. It was not like he had never jerked off thinking of Hyunjin. He was just a guy, after all. But that was before. It was all imagination. He could rule it out as fantasy.
Now it was too real. The taste, the pace, the moans. He could still feel it, hear it. It was too dangerous. It was inevitable.
The shower was supposed to relax him. But nothing seemed to do the trick. He closed his eyes under the water, and the image of Felix giggling immediately resurfaced. It started like that. Almost too innocent.
The blond laughing, trapped between his knees. Wrists pinned to the pillow over his head. Bare face. Freckles like golden powder on his flustered cheeks. Lips parted and chest heaving. He was just so beautiful. “How could I resist?”
To be wanted by the object of your desire: what a powerful feeling. Felix couldn't shake Hyunjin's predatory gaze out of his mind, as his hands slid through his crotch. He wanted to be consumed by the fire that burned in those eyes.
The memory of Hyunjin’s tight grip on his wrists made him clutch the base of his cock. Instant pleasure immediately knocking down any resistance he was still trying to maintain. He was gonna have to get this out of his system. One last time.
Hyunjin’s thumb pressured his own slit, holding in the precum. His hand was sliding through his shaft, fueled by Felix’s taste still on his lips. Sweet and sinful. Such a dangerous combination.
He increased speed, remembering the blond’s tongue taking ownership of his mouth, his teeth biting on his bottom lip. He couldn’t hold the moan back on that bed, and he couldn’t now. That kiss...
Hyunjin had watched the shy demeanor in Felix be overthrown by confidence, but to feel that confidence in every slip of his tongue... That was something he had not prepared for.
Jerking off didn’t seem to be enough to soothe the amount of eagerness in Felix at that moment. He yearned for those lips again, to go past his mouth, to suck at his neck, to bite him back, to eat him whole.
He used his free hand to reach for his nightstand, where he kept a bullet vibrator. It felt good inserting it through his rim. The minimum speed was enough to take him to the edge. His hands tightened the grip on his cock, his thumb teasing the slit, gathering precum that assisted on the slide. “Hyunjin… why did you have to do this?” His words were a supplication trapped between lustful moans.
The thought of Felix being with other people filled Hyunjin with rage, which only boosted his arousal. “How could he be the one pinned to bed, but I be the one feeling dominated? Where did he learn to do that with his tongue, with his teeth? With whom did he learn? It should have been me!”
Hyunjin stroked his cock almost painfully. Possessiveness firing him up. “You’ll be mine, Felix. One way or another. You’ll be mine!” Hot strings of cum shot out of him with uncommon strength, rapidly traveling from the bathroom’s tiles into the drain. He’d never had an orgasm so strong from jerking off. This was Felix’s doing, and this realization only made Hyunjin want him more.
As if the claim he so desperately wanted had reached him even from a distance, Felix came at the same time. Just as hard. His legs were trembling, his breathing was failing him, and all he could think was how he wanted to have Hyunjin on top of him again.