Chapter Text
A year has passed, and Logan has been unable to get Shane pregnant. At first, Shane thought the problem might be his, but that wasn’t the case: her husband’s sperm was damaged—or at least that’s what the first doctor they visited had told them. So now they were going from doctor to doctor, hoping one of them would provide a solution to their problem. So far, they all seemed to agree on the same thing: they had to keep trying until a miracle happened—a rainbow baby, just like he had been in his parents’ lives. Shane knew, however, that the reality was more complex.
He was realistic, and his husband didn’t like that. They fought every night, right before going to bed together, as if nothing was wrong. In the end, his husband managed to calm him down; they kissed and fell asleep together. They were far from being a happy couple, but at least they both tried to make it work, even though there were many cracks in their marriage. Anything for the sake of having a family, Shane thought, sometimes through tears. It all made him feel insecure, as if he weren’t living up to the role he was supposed to play. His husband was the breadwinner, and he had to stay home to raise the offspring. Sex wasn’t the problem; in fact, their bodies understood each other quite well, but for a while now… he had to admit that sex didn’t feel the same as it used to. His husband had sex with him nearly every night just to keep his mind occupied. They no longer made love, as Shane had thought they had since they got married. Everything had changed ever since they were dating. And now they were both trying to get used to the life they were leading. But it wasn’t easy, especially for the Canadian, who had some pretty noticeable mood swings.
His marriage seemed like a taboo subject at the dinner table. No one brought it up because there was nothing nice to say about it. Logan didn't hate him, no, it wasn't that, and yet he wanted to hate him. Sometimes he looked at him with disdain, perhaps helplessness. He felt bad for not being the husband who could give him a child. There was a “flaw” in him. That was how, after sleepless nights debating the future of this family project, they decided to seek the opinion of a renowned specialist in fertility issues: Dr. Ilya Rozanov.
Everyone at medical school knew Ilya Rozanov. A Russian immigrant who managed to graduate from medical school with honors after his passion for hockey came to an end with an injury that took him off the rink. He worked at a fertility clinic that had been helping couples struggling to conceive for over fifteen years. Up until now, almost all of his cases had been successful. Ilya was tall, strong, and often joked about being quite the stud. He was a desirable heartthrob, but he was too busy sleeping with half the town to think about settling down. His most stable partner was Svetlana Vetrova, though they both agreed to keep their relationship open. Ilya had never fallen in love, and he was starting to think it would never happen. He was too busy with work and his wild partying anyway. Deep down, though, he loved the idea of falling in love and giving his all for that person. He often saw the couples who visited his clinic and convinced himself that not everything was lost. Many of those couples had no other choice, and because they loved each other, they were willing to give it a try. Love made them want to try. Ilya had attended several of the babies’ baptisms, even though he knew that wasn’t very professional of him.
Last Friday, Shane scheduled an appointment. The secretary told him to come in next Wednesday at noon. Logan was notified immediately.
The day before, Shane went to talk to his family. David was in the kitchen while Yuna listened to her son and offered encouraging words.
“Everything will work out for the best,” Yuna said, “I’m sure having a donor will help. How has Logan taken it?”
Shane was deep in thought, almost distant.
“He doesn’t like the idea that he won’t be the one to make the baby with me, but he’s willing to try. I know this is going to bring us even closer together.”
Logan was at work right now, texting Shane whenever he could. His tone was sweet, very similar to the one he used to use when they were still dating.
David announced that dinner was ready, so mother and son got up from the couch. Behind them, they left a photo of Shane as a baby and a photo album on the table. Yuna loved telling everyone about her pregnancy. Shane was her only child, and the fact that he was there was a miracle.
Wednesday at noon - Irina's Fertility Clinic
Logan took the day off from work. He drove to the clinic with a nervous Shane in the passenger seat. Their lives were about to change, and they both knew it—they just hadn’t yet realized just how much would change.
“I love you, and I always will,” Logan told him, keeping his eyes on the road to avoid crashing. They were about to pull in, and he needed to find a good spot that wasn’t too far from the clinic's gates.
Ilya’s secretary greeted them and told them he had two patients waiting right now. Shane would be the third.
The entire waiting room was themed around motherhood and babies. There were brochures on the methods the clinic used, information on sperm donation, and some testimonials from first-time parents. On the wall were pictures of babies and happy couples. A shiver ran through Shane as he imagined himself pregnant. Was this really happening?
Soft music was playing in the background; there was a couple with a baby, a woman sitting alone flipping through a magazine, and two other men who seemed to be at the clinic for the same reason as the Hollanders.
It took about forty-five minutes before he heard his last name again. Logan was the first to get up; they still hadn’t seen the doctor. The secretary opened the door for them, and there he was. Ilya Rozanov, dressed in a white coat, dress pants, and a sweater that looked expensive. There were a couple of photos on his desk and pictures of babies hanging on the walls.
But Shane’s gaze was focused on something else. He was a young, attractive doctor—not like the version Shane had conjured up in his mind. He wasn’t old, nor did he have gray hair. He was very attractive—so much so that you could see his fit body even through his clothes.
“Good afternoon, gentlemen,” said Ilya in a deep voice. His accent was really peculiar, and with that name, Shane assumed he had to be a foreigner.
Ilya sat down and began typing on his computer as he entered the information from the form Shane had filled out while waiting.
Logan was deep in thought, as if he knew he was the one who should speak. After all, he was the reason they were both looking for other options.
“How can I help you?” asked Ilya, looking up from the screen. He adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose and looked at the supposedly happy couple sitting in front of him.
Logan explained everything. He told Ilya that the problem was with his sperm, and that was why Shane couldn’t get pregnant. They’d tried everything: eating certain foods, sexual positions that helped conceive, and having sex even more often than before. But when it came down to it, Logan couldn’t manage a decent load. At least not enough to fill Shane with his babies.
The previous doctors had just parroted what they could do, and when they saw that nothing was working, they seemed to lose interest in the couple. But Ilya wasn’t like that; in fact, he seemed very interested in the case right in front of him. However, he wasn’t concerned about the case because he wanted to provide a solution, but also because he wanted to help Shane in another way.
Ilya lowered his gaze as he typed on the computer, imagining what it would be like to give the married man the best sex of his life.
“I need you to bring me a couple of test results for the next appointment. Once we've evaluated Shane's cycle and his hormone levels, we can start with the most appropriate treatment.”
It was clear that the hot doctor wouldn't send them off to have more wild sex, since it had already been proven that it wasn't helping.
Logan walked out the door as soon as the session ended, and went straight to the receptionist to schedule another appointment.
Shane was smiling like a dumb schoolgirl. Ilya kept a straight face, though inside he was smiling. Of course, he’s crazy about me—they all are.
Before Shane could walk out the door, Dr. Rozanov closed it and leaned in close toward him.
“What's the matter? Isn't your husband doing it right enough for you? My sperm is perfectly fine...”
His words were meant solely to drive him crazy. He wanted him to go home and beg his husband to fuck him, even though his sperm was useless.
Ilya couldn't wait for their next appointment...