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W-M-E-W! Where The Litterbox Is Always Full!
Good morning, Boon County. It’s a nice chilly morning, I’ve got my paws wrapped around a blanket in the studio. Before we get into our tunes, we have an important update on our catastrophic monster duo. The thunder lizard and space turtle have somehow left Boon County. We’re not sure where they’ve gone off to, hey maybe check your backyard folks, we’re all a little frazzled looking out. But please keep in mind, at any time they could come back, so bring an umbrella! Anything could happen at this point. Now, how about some kitty tunes? This next one’s called: Meow Meow Meow, and as you can guess, the lyrics are utterly stupid.
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Zaratana feels her arms struggle to hold her weight.
Currently, she is hiding in her own shell, huddling against the barrage of flames Pyrophina shoots at her. It’s easy to remember why they began fighting, but as they continue slamming into each other, time is crushed by rocks and melted into nothingness. No matter how much exhaustion sinks into her, Zaratana cannot stop fighting. There is no other option.
As the fire subsides on her shell, she stands up once more, each leg forcing itself to stand proud. She stares sharply at Pyrophina, watching for any further attacks. The giant kaiju huffs heavily, her expression clearly hazy with smoke bellowing from her throat. Finally ready to attack, Zaratana headbutts forward, knocking Pyrophina backwards with a heavy hit. Still, she stands tall in spite of her attacks.
Zaratana breathes heavily. It takes all of her strength to remain standing. It feels like her shell is going to crack.
On the other end, Pyrophina seems to struggle with every breath. Her body sways like an uneasy tower. Her gaze, once so sharp and enflamed, has dulled into a mere ember.
They simply stare at each other.
Then, in the distance, something odd catches her eye.
For just a moment, she imagines being elsewhere.
Zaratana makes the first move. With a lumbering step forward, she closes the distance between the two kaijus. Pyrophina tenses up, breathing faster as she approaches. Closer and closer, they both anticipate the worst.
But Zaratana continues walking, merely passing by Pyrophina.
There are some movements, perhaps a confusion that spreads across Pyrophina as she is left alone in their battlefield. However, Zaratana wouldn’t know, for she continues trudging forward. Her legs stomp over stray rocks, snuffing out flames, and passing through lava puddles. Their path of destruction stretches far, yet there is still a world that remains untouched. Zaratana continues, looking to leave into the heavy green trees. It is a hopeful thought. At any moment, Pyrophina could strike her down, finishing the battle easily. So she walks, knowing this may be her last moment in this place.
Eventually, she walks into the nearby forest. Turning around, she watches. Pyrophina stands in the same place as before, just, watching Zaratana. Her gaze looks soft. They stare at each other, far from their own fury. Finally, Pyrophina looks elsewhere, then begins to walk off. Huffing, Zaratana continues into the thicket, hiding deep in the dark. Her vision is filled with the most peculiar sights, beyond anything she has ever seen before. When her body finally gives out, she collapses onto the soft ground. It has been a long time since she has slept. But, she closes her singular eye, knowing that she is safe for now.
The forest is quiet. Zaratana sleeps. And far in the distance, Pyrophina does the same.
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We appreciate you listeners hanging in there with W-M-E-W during a very difficult time. Listenership is down, thanks to the recent kaiju problem. We’re hoping to bring you all some very good news. Thanks to the efforts from our meteorologist team, we have found the space turtle in the nearby forest! It appears to be resting from its, frankly, catastrophic fight with the thunder lizard. In the face of danger, always sniffing out disaster, Jimmy “The Hammer” Valentine… here to tell you more on the ground.
“... and we are going live in just a minute. Microphone, check…. Check… This is Jimmy ‘The Hammer’ Valentine, preparing to go live from the site of the disaster… this thing, the giant rock, what are you calling it? What? Repeat that, slowly. Petram… test-u-do, gra-eca? Sounds like a terrible name. Not like Jimmy ‘The Hammer’ Valentine. Nobody’s going to remember that name. Microphone check… check, check, Jimmy ‘The Hammer’ Valentine, ready to chicky-check that giant space turtle. Wait… we are live? Well, why didn’t you tell me over the IFB earpiece we are live? Well… I didn't hear you. Because I’m used to the kid pointing to me when we go live, but you decided to fire him because his only job was pointing at me when it’s time to go live, now nobody points at me when it’s time to go live. Great management decision. Fine, then. No, I’m not calling it that. You try and say it then. Right, you can’t, because it sounds terrible. You should have fired these lab coats instead of the kid. I don’t care, they barely act like I’m here anyways. Now, you… well maybe I’ll kill your mic. I haven’t even started the live record yet, dumbass. And if you were going to kill my mic, you would have done it a long time ago. Here we go… We are live, audience. I’m Jimmy–”
Take it easy, Jimmy… Just, sorta, take it down a notch. Next time, dear listeners, we will have much more to tell you about this, uh… Ahem, Petram testudo graeca. Now, back to that sweet sweet noise.
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Pyrophina feels something she’s never felt before: cold.
Heavy darkness covers the sky. Her eyes struggle to adjust to the blanket of black covering her surroundings. Exhaustion weighs on her body, rendering her stuck to the course earth.
For her whole life, she lived comfortably under magma. The chaos of the world above arose her from slumber, doomed them all to flames. Yet, she is now barred from hell, stuck to this world until she renders it into smolders.
Pyrophina grumbles, smoke weakly spilling from her maw. She closes her eyes, curling in onto herself to hold the heat. The cold breeze of the dark breaks her hearth. Opening her eyes, she looks around. There is still nothing to gaze upon. Coughing, she points her head at the ground. A bubbling warmth emerges from her gut, yet it fails to rise out of her mouth. She hacks, spitting out embers that struggle and die against the cold. Closing her eyes, Pyrophina tries to hold her strength as shivers overwhelm her scales.
In an attempt to distract herself from the cold, her mind wanders to Zaratana. Once, she was defeated by a group of cats. Now, she is humiliated by a cat that won’t even give her the pride of dying in a fight. Instead, she’s doomed to die like a wounded animal, left to bleed out alone, hoping for a boon in a cruel and unforgiving world not made for her.
Pyrophina grimaces; she was not forged in flames to die in the cold.
A small flame begins to grow; she will not rest until she finds Zaratana again.
Smoke proudly pours from her maw; Pyrophina smiles.
Spewing fire onto the ground, a puddle of lava and fire sits beneath Pyrophina. The cold shields itself in the face of the fire, receding from her body. As warmth finally soaks into her scales, Pyrophina purrs.
She closes her eyes, finally warm enough to sleep.
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And that was for the kittens back at home, don’t forget to get your milk. Now, my mom always told me to be nice to animals, but spiders… I hate spiders. Do you know what else I hate? Bugs. I hate seeing bugs crawling around me. I found out a few days ago, spiders eat bugs. Sometimes, things you don’t like, still do things you do like. That’s something for all you listeners to think about. Coming now onto our next track, something a little more slow, for this nice chilly morning.
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The soft dew of the morning brushes itself on Pyrophina’s scales. She slowly awakens from her slumber, the morning sun gracing her body. There is enough light to move, yet the day has not fully begun.
She remains on the ground briefly. The aching soreness pervading her legs makes it difficult for her to get up. As she wakes up her joints, she looks around. It’s a calm morning, with small winds caressing the grass of the land. Her path back to the battlefield is obvious, the land has left indents of her footsteps. Wherever Zaratana is, her trace should be close by.
Finally rising from the ground, Pyrophina huffs. Then, she follows the trail. It’s an exhausting walk, but she has evidently survived worse.
When she finally reaches the battlefield, she examines closely. All of her fires have dissipated, yet some puddles of magma still struggle to survive. In one puddle, a clear footprint resides, much different from Pyrophinas. The magma covered footprints go into the nearby forest. The growth looks much heavier than anything Pyrophina has seen. Although, she hasn’t experienced much. It will be difficult to track Zaratana through the dense foliage, but she is persistent.
Marching onwards, she carves a path through the trees. Her head narrowly stays above the foliage of the trees, her body mostly out of sight as she stomps through the thicket. Pyrophina looks far and wide, ignoring the slight annoyance from having to step on irregular roots and prickly twigs.
Eventually, she notices an odd white mass in the distance.
Lowering her head down into the thicket, Pyrophina smiles, finally seeing Zaratana. It seems she is resting, making no movement. As she hurriedly approaches, Pyrophina feels an exciting bubble of fire in her gut.
In a split second, all of her excitement dissipates as her leg snags on a thick tree root.
Falling forward, Pyrophina flails her small arms to catch the ground as she plummets downwards. As her body slams, the entire forest shakes, hundreds of birds flying out of trees in fear. Her eyes remain closed for a long time as she growls. If anything, she is glad her landing wasn’t atop Zaratana. Even if everything hurts, she’s got the scales to survive it.
Finally opening her eyes, Pyrophina sees that she has landed right beside Zaratana. In the same vein, she notices Zaratana is awake, and seemingly doesn’t pay Pyrophina any mind. Instead, her focus is consumed by something else.
Looking forward, Pyrophina sees something unusual.
It’s a strange, small thing. Something Pyrophina hasn’t seen before. It extends out to the sky in a large bunch, all of its green shoots emerging from the ground. The tip is covered in purple colors, the great collection of growths forming a great collection of sweet colors. The thing exists boldly, so tiny compared to the two kaijus yet unabashedly beautiful. It is nice to look at, Pyrophina thinks. She remains on the ground, merely looking at this beautiful purple thing.
The surface world is so different from her home. Smothered in confusing colors and strange structures, she feels out of place. Reducing all of it to ash would bring it closer to brimstone and flames. Maybe then, she’d feel more at home. Yet, this small beautiful thing wouldn’t exist.
Strange.
Pyrophina looks over at Zaratana again. She’s not from here, either. They’re clearly both unfamiliar in this vast world.
Finally, Zaratana looks back. She seems irritated by the company. They still have some issues to settle.
But, she huffs, and looks back to the small purple thing. At least, for now, they don’t need to fight. They can just sit here and enjoy something new.
Pyrophina looks forward.
It’s nice to not be alone.
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W-M-E-W! Where The Litterbox Is Always Full!
This next one is called Cat Chase. I don’t know who’s chasing who, is it cats chasing cats? Or rats chasing cats? Or humans chasing cats?
… what’s happening.
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Zaratana is starting to realize she doesn’t know where home is.
She stomps her way through her previous war torn path. The rocks and fire that once smothered the land seem to loosely remain. There’s an odd feeling that smothers her as she retreads the same place she once fought in. Small flashes of emotion and memory emerge in certain places. Craters in the ground remind her of how easily she was flung into the air, odd paths carved into the dirt refresh that nervously exciting desire to fight Pyrophina. All of it is left in the land she now walks across. In spite of all of this, the world around her seems almost unbothered.
Zaratana stops, snorting as she turns around. Her expression remains stone solid as she sees Pyrophina, far behind her. As she looks, her rival stops and stares.
Pyrophina has been following Zaratana for the entire day.
Turning around, she grumbles, pushing forward.
The road to nowhere is long, with a familiar rival behind her, it feels even longer.
Zaratana doesn’t belong on this planet. While her memory is fogged in nothingness, she knows the great vastness far above is her home. She drifted for eons, colliding with other asteroids on occasion, enjoying the infinite calmness of the unknown. Being stuck on this planet is a disaster, she’s cursed to move slowly with no clear way back up. For a time, being scared and confused plagued her senses. Rampaging through this strange new world gave her no answers, but it let her realize how powerful she is. That answer was enough for then. Now, she has to live with the knowledge that she’s stuck, both to this planet and to another giant.
Admittedly, she is growing to like one of those things. This strange new world is covered in color. Everything is small compared to her, yet the smaller it is, the more beautiful it can be.
Raising her head, Zaratana looks into the sky. It seems darker than it did before. Still, she can’t see anything, just a constant unfamiliar color. So she continues stomping onwards, hoping to find… something. There is no other option.
The farther she roams, the less chaos she walks upon. Although her fight has left small beautiful things ruined, it seems to come back, but slowly. The planet changes slowly as well, getting darker and darker. It becomes harder to see over time. She doesn’t understand why.
After walking in encroaching darkness for a time, she stops. The great vastness has darkness, but she never had to worry about walking in the dark. Until it becomes bright again, she decides to turtle, gladly taking the time to rest.
Zaratana enjoys her brief seclusion. Until, of course, her rival catches up. The loud footsteps are a warning for Zaratana; she’s unsure what will happen. Even if they have relinquished fighting, Pyrophina’s footsteps have stopped right beside her. If they are to rest through the night, then Zaratana can hold her contempt. But she knows that is unlikely.
Unfurling herself from her turtle, Zaratana snorts. The dark has seemingly smothered all of the land, leaving her near blind. She almost turtles again, until a noise stops her. A familiar huff rings to her, then, light clashes against the dark. A small distance away, Pyrophina is curled on the ground, huddled close to a tiny puddle of fire. Her expression is soft with concern.
A pang of yearning stings Zaratana’s stone heart. She grimaces, unable to look away. Here they exist, on the same battle battered path, close and bizarrely vulnerable.
It would be very easy to turn a blind eye and return to rest.
Zaratana watches.
Pyrophina huddles closer to her fire, quietly purring.
Like a small crack on a rock, the tiniest opening unveils something beautiful. Zaratana huffs, finally relenting against her own better judgement. Stomping towards the fire, she sits down near Pyrophina as the small flames welcome her.
Pyrophina perks up, staring brightly at Zaratana. Instead of staring back, she looks at the flames, the grace of heat barely caressing her rocks; she needs a lot of heat to become warm. They remain in awkward silence for a time.
Finally, Pyrophina breaks the silence by grumbling. Her voice is low and heavy, soaked in smoke. With a small hand, she points at Zaratana.
In return, she snorts. Shaking her head, she lets out a low hiss. With confidence, she stomps a foot, then carefully points back.
Pyrophina huffs out smoke, rolling her eyes. She makes a gesture, her hand punching her other hand, then points to herself. Then, she points off into the distance. Somewhere unknown, but somehow, Zaratana has a hunch. The house on the hill.
She frowns, looking downcast. Eventually she nods, stomping her foot twice before carefully pushing her head on the dirt. Pyrophina seems to growl, huffing out smoke as she shakes her head. Suddenly, her tail swings towards the fire, showing the tip with a broken set of spikes. Zaratana gazes intensely, suddenly feeling lucky to not be more hurt from her encounter. They both look at each other and sigh. Then, they sit in silence.
The flame between them grows as Pyrophina spews more fire.
After a long silence, Pyrophina huffs loudly. Zaratana looks at her curiously. It’s an awkward gesture, but she points at Zaratana, then rubs the top of her hand. Finally, she puts her hands against her chest and sighs slowly. Her gaze is elsewhere as they both stew in the feeling. Zaratana thinks she knows what is being said. It’s going to take time to fully accept any kind of apology. But, she can accept this one for now. In return, she softly stomps the ground, pushing her head against the ground before nodding. Pyrophina exhales with a smile, still too bashful to return the gaze.
The night is long, but together, it isn’t oppressive.
Zaratana’s wandering eye looks up into the sky. She’s taken aback by the sight filling the sky. As she stares, soon, Pyrophina joins her. The endless sky, despite being covered in darkness, has small powerful lights. Small, numerous, beautiful lights, like her home is calling out to her, showing her how wonderful it is to exist among all these beauties. It’s overwhelming in the most wonderful way. Zaratana smiles. Then, she looks down at Pyrophina, excitedly stomping her foot. When they both understand each other, she gestures to the sky, then to herself. Pyrophina seems surprised at that answer. She responds by digging a small hole. Spewing some magma from her maw, the small hole looks like a pit of lava. Pointing at the pit, Pyrophina points at herself, then nods.
Both kaijus stare at each other in newfound understanding. They’re not from this place, not truly. It almost seems like a miracle they’ve both met at such strange times.
Looking back at the stars, Zaratana wonders.
Would she enjoy this sight, if not for Pyrophina?
It’s a concern that makes her realize how comforting it is to not be alone.
They remain in silence again for a time. When Zaratana looks at Pyrophina, her head is resting on the ground, fully silent. They are both due for their rest. For a moment, Zaratana thinks a strange idea. Then, she acts on it.
Stomping forward, Zaratana huddles next to Pyrophina. She rests her frame against the other, their bodies neatly uniting in this resting position. Her scales are warm, gently rising and falling. It’s bizarre to be so close to her. But it doesn’t feel bad. So she remains there, slowly falling to rest, feeling warmth sink into her heart. She feels Pyrophina’s tail wrap around her, keeping them both close and safe. It makes her smile. She’s been alone for so long.
As the night gets colder, Zaratana and Pyrophina remain warm together.
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Much to my horror, the thunder lizard and petram… uh… the space turtle, both of them have returned and seem more angry than before. Making a beeline towards that house on the hill downtown there… folks if you’re religious, now might be the time to start praying for whoever lives in that house! if you were thinking about doing anything today, don’t! Cancel your schedule for the rest of the week! In fact, get out of the county! I uh… I am personally, taking the day off tomorrow. I do not want to be near those two beasts. We were supposed to have a segment here from Jimmy “The Hammer” Valentine, and he is… uh huh, yeah, sorry folks, he has taken his sick day today. I think that’s for the best. Please uh… be safe folks.
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Pyrophina and Zaratana walk side by side, smiles wide as they march through Boon County.
In the distance is the house on the hill, the same place where they were thoroughly defeated.
With a renewed fire in her belly and a magnetic field strongly gravitating through her, both kaijus happily demolish everything in their path.
United, they realized, their strength dwarfs all others on this planet.
Excited to be united, they consummate their newfound love for each other in the only way they know how:
By destroying the same cats that brought them together.