Archive of Our Own

Sunday

“Ugh.”

Eloise let herself fall into the plush armchair by the coffee bar, the steaming hot coffee in her oversized mug sloshing dangerously.

Colin glanced up from his crossword and leaned back on the couch, scanning his sister, who clearly looked annoyed.

“You alright, El?” He mumbled, taking another bite of his blueberry scone.

“I just had the worst lunch date ever. First, he told me that the lack of women in executive positions was a natural side effect of their - and I quote - submissive nature. Then he mentioned that he chose the spot where we met because he had some coupons. The food was gross, by the way. And then, after stuffing himself with an obscene amount of garlic chips, he thought it was a good idea to kiss me goodbye without even asking for consent. I need a mouth wash…”

Colin grimaced, aware that every word he said and expression he made needed to be very carefully chosen since his sister was in such a foul mood. Eloise wasn’t done yet with her rant, though, so he kept quiet.

“Seriously, what is wrong with your sex? Why are they all either assholes, idiots, boring, gross, or all of the above? They’re also stupid and immature and afraid of accepting responsibilities, and of course they want women who know what they want, but they still live at their mummy’s house. Ugh, why can’t I be a lesbian?!”

“Maybe you need to try it?”

“Believe me, I have. And while it was more satisfying than most of my encounters with guys, I’m afraid it’s not for me. I’m stuck with stupid men…”

The way she spat out the last two words made Colin wince. Eloise had fought off their mother's attempts to set her up or make her go out more for so long, and now that she had finally admitted to herself that the thought of a life partner did sound kind of nice, she struggled a lot with how hard and annoying and arduous dating was.

“Hey, what if I set you up with one of my friends?” He offered cautiously.

Eloise scoffed.

“Please, I know the guys you used to hang out with. Those douches, like Stanton and Wilding, are all absolute wankers…”

“Yeah, well, that might be true for most of my old friends from school, but I didn't mean them. I’m talking about my uni and work friends. They’re decent blokes. They have their own flat, proper jobs, and basic social abilities.”

Eloise remained sceptical but didn’t argue back, which Colin took as a good sign and continued speaking.

“Besides, I know a lot of the stuff that irks you and your absolute no-go’s, so I could already rule out the ones that I know wouldn’t click with you beforehand. I’ll be your personal search algorithm if you want!”

To be honest, Colin was getting pretty excited at the idea of setting his sister up. He’d always secretly thought of himself as a talented matchmaker. He clocked immediately when his oldest brother Anthony had not been able to stop staring at his then-date’s older sister, Kate. Colin had deliberately set up an excuse for them to spend time alone, only for Anthony and Kate to get together a few weeks later. He’d also talked his other brother Benedict into not giving up on the love of his life solely because their lives were so different and hard to reconcile. Both Anthony and Benedict were now happily married, with several children adding to the Bridgerton chaos.

Colin looked expectantly at Eloise, who still hadn’t denied him, but was watching him thoughtfully. As if she was contemplating if the gain would be worth the pain, knowing how insufferable Colin would become if - no, when -  he was successful. Finally, she let out a deep sigh.

“Alright, why not. Can’t get worse than today. But you only get one chance!”

“Yes! I won’t blow it, I promise. You will be utterly besotted with whomever I choose!”

“At this point, I’d consider it a success if I make it through the night without feeling the need to amputate either my eyes, ears, nose, or tongue afterwards…”

Colin smiled smugly, already going through his acquaintances in his mind when another thought hit him.

“Oh my god, El! How about you set me up with someone as well, and we’ll go on a double date?! Would take the pressure off a bit of having to keep the conversation going all by yourself!”

Eloise groaned, falling back into her chair and sipping on her coffee. “I’m not sure if I hate any of my female friends so much as to send them on a date with you doofus…”

“Oh c’mon, you know I’m a better choice than most of the guys out there. It would only be one date, I’m not asking you to find me someone to marry at first sight. And aren’t you the one who always complains that I attract the wrong kinds of women who only go for my name or looks or fortune?”

“Sounds like me…” She grumbled with her arms crossed in front of her body.

“See! And you might actually be right about that, considering all the bad luck I’ve had in that regard. Now you finally have the chance to set me up with someone who you don’t think is a total skank.”

Eloise sighed, eyeing him thoughtfully. “Yeah, okay, I guess you make a few decent points. And I have to admit that, aside from being annoying as fuck and entirely too good-natured, you are probably decent boyfriend material. Loyal, genuine, clean. That’s more than can be said about approximately 90% of the male dating pool…”

Colin lit up instantly, way too giddy at the small praise and already buzzing with excitement.

“Okay great, then it’s settled. I’ll set you up, and you’ll set me up, and we’ll go on a double date on, say, Friday? Does that work?”

“Yeah, sure, whatever…” Eloise waved him off.

Colin grinned from ear to ear, trying really hard not to look like a child about to be let loose on their birthday presents.

“I can’t wait."

Thursday

“El! Look what I got!” Colin barrelled into his family’s living room with a huge smile on his face and a Selfridges bag in his hand.

Eloise barely had time to hoist herself up from the settee when Colin was already waving a dark brown piece of cloth in front of her face.

“Urgh, are you trying to blindfold me? Get that off of me, you dork!”

“Sorry,” Colin drew back sheepishly, mussing up his hair in that annoying way that all the girls out there seemed to find so swoonworthy.

Bleh…

“But look, I bought this shirt for our date on Friday! The lady in the shop said it makes my eyes pop, and that this style is called a henley and is apparently very popular among the ladies.”

“Mhm… and since when am I anybody’s first choice when it comes to fashion? Daph and Hy are right there, why don’t you get on their nerves for a change?”

“Yeah, well, they won’t be there with me on the date, will they?”

“Eeewww, oh my god, you guys are going on a date? What is wrong with you?!” Hyacinth’s voice screeched from the hallway, and Eloise huffed, letting herself fall back on the settee and groaning into her hands.

“We are not going on a date with each other, we’re going on a double date together,” Colin explained, seeming quite proud of himself.

Her brother’s over-the-top good mood was starting to annoy her.

“Really?”

Eloise could feel Hyacinth’s disbelief without even having to open her eyes.

“And you agreed to that?”

Only after a moment of silence did Eloise realise that Hyacinth was addressing her. She slowly sat back up again, exaggeratedly rolling her eyes.

“Yeah, well, that golden retriever of a man here somehow talked me into it. Besides, look at him. He’s so giddy already, if I’m not there to watch him, he’ll probably ask his date to go play fetch with him, barely ten minutes into the evening.”

Colin huffed. “As if I’d ever abandon a meal… And anyway, why shouldn’t I look forward to it? I love food, I love spending time with my delightful little sister, I - platonically - love the guy I picked out for you (who by the way I’m very sure you’re going to love as well), and 一”

“Oooohhh, whom did you pick for her?” Hyacinth interrupted, bouncing with excitement.

“It’s my mate, Phil. Met him at uni. He’s in science now, very mature, respectful, intelligent, great sense of humour, 一”

“That coming from you must mean he enjoys horrible puns and weird references to things only nerds know about…”

Colin snorted, still refusing to wipe the infuriatingly bright smile off his face.

“As I said, great sense of humour.”

“So El, who’s your pick for Colin then?” Hyacinth blabbered on, now almost as giddy as Colin was.

Oh fuck.

Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Shit!

She had completely forgotten about that part.

Eloise had thought about whom to pick the day she and Colin had made their agreement, but after realising that most of her friends and acquaintances were lesbians, in a relationship, or way too sophisticated for Colin, she had put the topic aside for the moment and… fucking forgotten!

But she bloody well couldn’t admit to it now. He would hold it against her for all eternity how he was a  much better sibling to her than vice versa and, if she was really honest with herself, she’d also feel a little sorry for him. And she definitely didn’t want to have their whole family suffer through another dinner with Colin showing off his gutted puppy face.

Eloise looked up to see both Colin and Hyacinth looking at her expectantly.

“Yeah, El. Tell me something about my girl,” Colin grinned excitedly.

“No.”

“C’mooooooon, give me something. What’s her name?”

Shit, a name. She was supposed to be able to answer such a simple question. She looked down at the book she had just been reading.

Odyssey.

“Um, Penelope.”

“Penelope. That’s so beautiful! What’s her last name?”

“Damn it, is there no mystery left in romance anymore?!”

Colin chuckled, seemingly content with the prospect of a surprise in favour of romance.

“You’re right, better not tell me, or I’ll spend the rest of today and tomorrow internet stalking her to find out everything about her.”

Eloise cast him a smile, trying to look smug and self-assured while panicking internally. How the fucking hell was she supposed to find a suitable girl named Penelope with 24 hours left until their date?

She needed a plan. And probably help. An accomplice. Someone who knew lots of girls. Someone she herself knew enough dirty secrets about so that they couldn’t refuse or reprimand her.

So when their mum called them for dinner a few minutes later, she purposefully went to the other side of the table, as far away from Colin and Hyacinth as possible, and sat right next to the one person she knew without a doubt she could either guilt-trip or, at worst, blackmail into helping her.

“Heyyyy, Ben, my favourite big brother!”

“So, just once more, because I still can’t believe how you’ve gotten yourself into this situation. You didn’t actually want to be set up by Colin, but he talked you into it?”

“That is correct.”

“And then when you agreed, he asked you to set him up as well, which you also didn’t actually want to do, but he talked you into that too?”

“Also yes.”

“And then, after you agreed to both of those things, and knowing what a batshit crazy, absolutely hopeless romantic, giddy, overly enthusiastic fool our brother is when it comes to those things, you forgot to find him a date??!! That’s going to kill him! And then Daphne and Francesca are going to kill you, because it will be up to them to stitch him back together when his heart is broken! Then I will be two siblings short, only because you couldn’t hold your ground and tell him no for, like, the first time ever in your life!”

“I knoooow, I know, okay?! I don’t know what came over me. He must have caught me on my only weak day ever, I don’t know how else to explain! Maybe I blacked out. Maybe my mind was temporarily transported out of my body and switched with Hyacinth’s by some alien force or something. I have no idea how it came to this, I only know that it did and that now I need to fix it. And fast.”

Benedict chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief before taking a huge mug of coffee from a waiter with way-too-blonde hair. After El had filled him in under her breath during dinner, they had fled as soon as they could, and had instead taken camp at their favourite coffee place to discuss what to do next.

“And why did I have to say Penelope? I don’t know any Penelopes, how am I supposed to find a Penelope?”

“Yeah, well, sadly, I don’t know a Penelope either, but…”

Benedict looked up from his coffee, glancing around the cafe that was still bustling with people despite the late hour.

“PENELOPE? PENELOPE!”

Eloise jumped at her brother’s sudden yell, her eyes going wide.

“Ben, what the-”

“Yeah?”

Both Eloise’s and Benedict’s heads whipped around, following the voice to find a tiny red-headed woman sitting by her own at a table by the window, laptop open in front of her and staring at them with slight mistrust.

“You… you’re Penelope?”

“Yeah…?”

“Your name is actually Penelope?”

“Yes, um… do we know each other? Why did you call out for me?”

Eloise turned towards Benedict, her triumphant gaze meeting his mischievous one.

“Listen, could we maybe invite you to have a little chat and a coffee with us?”

“I can’t believe I’m actually considering this. I’m still not 100 percent sure that you aren’t just a bunch of serial killers...”

“Oh please,” Eloise tried to reassure Penelope. “If we wanted to take you out, we could’ve already slipped something in your coffee an hour ago.”

Penelope chuckled. “Yeah, well, who’s to say this brother of yours isn’t secretly your cult leader who requires his victims to be awake and willing when they’re delivered to him…”

“That’s, um… oddly specific…” Benedict muttered, raising an eyebrow at Penelope.

“Oh, um, yeah, sorry. I’m in the middle of trying to broaden my horizon writing-wise, and I might have recently done a deep dive into cult horror. Might have made me a little too leery, actually.”

“And yet, you’re sitting here, alone with two strangers trying to convince you to fake a friendship and go on a blind date with another stranger…”

Penelope smiled sheepishly.

“Well… I did just get out of a five-year relationship, so I guess I should be open to taking some risks. Besides, I don’t know why, but I like you two. Somehow I trust you. You might have to write that on my tombstone…”

Eloise grinned, thinking how she already liked this girl. She was funny. She would definitely need to meet up with her again, no matter how the double date went. 

“Everything’s gonna be fine. Colin’s an annoying idiot, but he couldn’t do something purposefully hurtful if his life depended on it. Just follow my lead, okay? All you have to do is pretend to be Penelope.”

“I am Penelope.”

“Atta girl!”

Friday

Rain was pouring down like the heavens had opened up, the biting wind forcefully driving the rain drops under the canopy in front of the restaurant, where they were waiting.

Colin was skipping on his heels, anticipation buzzing through him. He had this feeling that tonight was going to change his life forever. He just knew it. He’d always been a romantic, and he loved love. After watching love bloom and grow in his parents’ and so many of his siblings’ relationships, wasn’t it finally time for something just as remarkable to happen to him, too?

“Jesus, Col, can’t you be still for a second?” Phillip chuckled beside him, shaking his head affectionately.

“Ugh, sorry, I know. It’s just… they’re late, right? We said seven, and now it’s three minutes past, and they’re still not here. D’you think something happened? Maybe I should call Eloise…”

“Colin, relax. I’m sure they’ll show up soon. Give them a few minutes…”

“Oh god, what if El changed her mind last minute? She does stuff like that all the time. Or maybe she was planning on fooling me this whole time?”

Phillip just raised an eyebrow in response.

“I 一 I mean, not that it’s like Eloise to be so unreliable. I didn’t lie when I told you about her, she’s great. It’s just… I talked you into this, and you went through all this trouble of organizing a babysitter and everything, and they’re not even here yet. They’re late, right?”

Just as Phillip opened his mouth to try and calm him, Eloise’s voice drifted through the noise of the rain as she called out Colin’s name.

“Thank god,” he muttered, turning towards the sound, ready to reprimand his sister for her tardiness, when he was struck violently in the face with something smooth, yellow, and wet.

“Oh my god!” Someone gasped, squeaky yet melodical.

Colin’s hands shot up, fast enough to still catch the handle of the umbrella that had just hit him before the wind could blow it away completely. 

“Oh god, oh god, I’m so sorry. I was just about to close it when the wind blew it out of my hands, I didn’t mean to hurt you, are you 一 are you injured?”

He shook his head, feeling a wet curl stick to his forehead, and wiped the sleeve of his jacket over his face. He heard the pretty voice babble on, but he couldn’t understand what she was saying over the laughter that escaped him as he took stock of himself: of his carefully selected brand-new henley shirt, damp and clinging to his chest where the majority of the water drops had trickled down on it; of his hair that he had tried to tame three times (okay, four… well, five… okay okay, five times, and only because he had relented and used the ridiculously viral hair gel from TikTok in its ridiculous, flashy, overstated case that Gregory gifted him, only to begrudgingly have to admit that it did indeed make his hair look just right). He had put so much thought and effort and preparation into his looks, had taken meticulous care of everything to give a perfect first impression, only for it all to already be for naught before introductions were even made. It was hilarious. He had thought this evening would change everything for the better, and now here he was: Standing there, looking like a drowned rat, probably laughing like a lunatic.

He could feel several pairs of eyes on him and tried to compose himself and get a hold of his laughing fit. A warm hand settled on his upper arm, warm enough to feel its heat even through his jacket, the pressure of the fingers around his arms somehow making him shiver.

"I'm alright," he said, clearing his throat and looking towards the owner of the hand.

Holy shit.

There she was. The prettiest girl he had ever seen. Her huge, bright blue eyes were staring up at him with a mix of worry, guilt, and embarrassment. Her own hair - the most amazing shade of red - had gotten a little damp, too, and was frizzing where she nervously (and unsuccessfully) tried to stuff it back into her elaborate half-bun. It made her look a little wild and all the more beautiful. She was so endearing with her cheeks flushed red and her perfect, plush lips slightly apart that he had to suppress the urge to brush his hand along her face and smooth out the worry lines. Instead, he tried his nicest, most reassuring smile and found that it came more naturally to him than it normally did in those social situations.

"You sure, Col? You look a little flustered, and you keep blinking like crazy," Eloise interrupted his haze. "That umbrella didn't poke you in the eye, did it?"

"N-no, of course not." Colin shook himself, his voice coming out rougher than usual.

"Um, sorry, I forgot my manners there for a second. That wasn't very well done of me. Hi! I'm Colin."

And then he waved.

Waved.

He was standing right in front of this angel, within reach and perfectly angled for a completely normal, absolutely appropriate, societally acceptable if not cliche handshake. And what did he do?

He waved!

Like a total moron.

As if he was fucking five years old.

Like a dafty, a nitwit.

Damn it, what was so hard about just - being - cool?

In his periphery, he could see Eloise shake her head and rub her temples, but the girl in front of him just smiled, her eyes sparkling as she answered.

"Nice to meet you, Colin. I'm Penelope. Sorry again for hitting you..."

"Oh, don't worry, it takes more than an umbrella to take me out," he reassured her. Without thinking about it, he lifted his right arm and demonstratively flexed his bicep, as if to emphasize his statement, making Eloise groan loudly in disbelief.

Oh god. What was wrong with him? He was pretty sure he'd never made this gesture before in his whole life. What would Penelope think of him? That he was some gormless alpha guy, solely concerned with his looks and muscle growth.

He was such a lummock...

Phillip guffawed, patting his shoulder and gently guiding his arm back down while Colin was still stunned by his own stupidity.

"Okay, enough of Colin. Hello ladies, I'm Phillip, by the way. I'm sure Col would've introduced me as soon as his brain starts working again."

The girls chuckled and made their introductions before Phillip led them inside the restaurant, Colin trailing behind, trying to understand what the hell had just hit him. His eyes were drawn to his friends walking in front of him. By god, Penelope was tiny! She would fit perfectly against his chest. He could even carry her around everywhere, if she'd be open to it. Wrap her over his back like a sloth carrying its baby. Oh great. Now he was comparing her to a sloth. Probably shouldn't say that out loud... On second thought, maybe it was better if he didn't carry her anyway, for he really liked the way she walked. Her luscious bum was swaying so enticingly, the hem of her emerald dress swooshing around her knees, showing off her shapely calves, the pale, ivory skin looking so smooth and alluring.

When he looked up, he saw Eloise shoot him a dark look over her shoulder, mouthing a "get it together" in his direction. Clearly, she had seen where his eyes had been only seconds ago.

He took a deep breath. She was right. It was the mixture of being hit by an umbrella and then being hit by those eyes mere seconds later. He could be cool from now on. Be the confident, charming Bridgerton he was known to be. Should be a piece of cake, shouldn't it?

“So, Penelope, how do you and Eloise know each other anyway?”

They made it to their table, placed their orders, and started up a pleasant conversation. Even Eloise didn’t seem initially appalled by Phillip, which Colin took as an exceptionally good sign.

“How do Eloise and I know each other? Wow, if I had a penny for every time somebody’s asked me that,” Penelope giggled, blushing again, not quite meeting his eyes.

“We, um… we met in school. Um, uni, that is. Took some of the same classes…”

“Oh, so you’re a lawyer like El?” Colin inquired.

Penelope, who had just raised her glass of water to her mouth, sputtered, choking a little on her drink as she shook her head vehemently.

“Me? God, no!”

“But I thought you took the same classes…”

“Oh yes, I- ugh, I took a few basic law classes, for fun, you know. As one does… And Eloise then joined some of my literature classes, too.” 

She was bright red, blinking rapidly, and Colin wondered if she was still suffering from her coughing fit before or if she maybe didn’t like to have all the attention on her. He couldn’t help himself, though.  She was fascinating: funny, witty, intelligent. He wanted to know everything about her. And he enjoyed having an excuse to look at her. Every new detail he discovered about her made him more intrigued. Like the little crinkles around her eyes that appeared when she was laughing, or the sound of her giggle, or how her silky hair fell over her shoulders in glimmering waves, drawing one’s gaze towards her ample cleavage. God, Colin was trying really hard not to look at her cleavage…

“Oh, so you like reading, too? I guess it makes sense that you two became friends then!”

“Yes! Exactly, that does make sense!” She nodded her head fiercely, seeming a little relieved. 

“And what are you up to these days?”

“I’m an editor at a publishing house.”

“Yep,” Eloise cut in smugly. “She’s the one with the power. She gets to tell authors what’s bullshit and what can stay.”

Penelope chuckled shyly.

“Well, that’s a little exaggerated… besides, I recently took a leave of absence. I always wanted to write my own book and I figured if I don’t do it now, I never will.”

“Oh my god, that’s amazing!” Eloise exclaimed, drawing all eyes towards her.

“You… you didn’t know that?” Colin asked.

“Um… well I 一 you know how it is, bro. Penelope and I are two very busy people, we don’t always have time for regular updates…”

Colin hummed, casting an understanding smile towards Penelope, who was blushing once again.

God, he loved that blush. He wanted to elicit that blush again and again, wanted to find out all the ways he could do just that, wanted to make it spread until it reached her chest and he could follow it and 一

Fuck, he was losing it again.

“Um, well, I have to say I agree with El, you writing a book truly sounds amazing, and very brave.”

“Oh, I don’t know. Writing is the one thing I’ve always been drawn to, so it feels more like something I just have to give a try, or else it will haunt me forever. Who knows if it’ll be any good at all?”

“I’m sure it will be. What do you want to write?”

“Um… I know it’s cliche, but I love romance novels, so I’d like to give that a try. I’ve been trying to deliberately write something else, but as it turns out, I always come back to love, even if it starts out as cult horror.”

“I don’t think it’s cliche if you love it. I think it suits you. I would very much like to read it some day.”

She smiled at him, genuine and bright, and Colin felt something inside him open up, as if his heart was already reaching out for hers.

This was turning out to be the best date ever.

“I have to say, it’s so surprising that El kept you a secret for this long. Normally, whenever she’s passionate about something, she  cannot shut up about it. Like when she worked on that huge water pollution case against Fife Corp. and had them pay record high financial penalties.”

“Oh my god, you were on the news with that, weren’t you?!” Penelope gasped towards Eloise. “That’s why you look so familiar!”

“What?”

“What?”

“What?”

Phillip inhaled sharply as Colin’s frown wandered from one woman to the other.

“Do you two not know each other?”

Eloise laughed, a little too loud.

“Of course, we do. Penelope’s playing a game that we used to play in uni, where we pretend we don’t know each other. We played all kinds of games. Hey, remember that one where I step on your feet for not being cool?”

Colin ignored her, instead focussing on Penelope, who had turned beet red.

“Penelope, let me ask you something. How many brothers does Eloise have?”

Penelope straightened up at that, her face brightening.

“Two! You and Benedict. I know him!”

Eloise groaned, burying her face in her hands. Phillip seemed to have been rendered speechless and just sat there, silently watching the spectacle in front of him unfold.

“Eloise,” Colin growled. “Why did you set me up with a stranger?”

“Ugh, because I forgot about our date,” Eloise admitted, looking truly uncomfortable. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Penelope added, her pretty eyes big with shame.

“You are unbelievable. I spent so much time finding the perfect guy for you, you know? Phillip is really smart and funny and in need of a good lay 一”

“Hey!” Phillip cut in.

Colin just raised an eyebrow at him. “Well, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, well. Still…” Phil smiled sheepishly.

“You just… find some girl off the street for me? God, this is humiliating…”

“Look, Colin, I’m so sorry,” Eloise tried again. “Hey, look, if you’re not comfortable with this, I can still set you up with one of my friends, and I’ll just keep Penelope for myself. I, for one, think she’s delightful!”

“For god’s sake, El, shut your mouth, will you? It’s not about that, and you know it,” Colin snapped, now, in addition to feeling blindsided and humiliated, also afraid that Penelope might really think he didn’t like her. A thought that couldn’t be further away from the truth… But she was a total stranger. Someone Eloise had probably picked up on the way over here, with no thought whatsoever about him and what he was looking for. Who knew if her name even really was Penelope? What a shame that would be; it was such a pretty name, and it fit her perfectly. He couldn’t stand the embarrassment any longer, needed some air and time to think, so he stood up, putting his napkin on his still empty plate.

“I’m out of here.”

The last thing he heard was Penelope’s voice trailing after him: “It was nice meeting you…”

Then he was gone.

Silence lingered amongst the three remaining as they watched him hurry out the restaurant door, the look of utter self-loathing on Penelope’s face contrasted by Phillip's stunned expression. His eyebrows were drawn so high that they almost disappeared under his hairline.

As she studied him, Eloise had to admit that Phillip did look rather cute. She’d also really enjoyed the conversation they’d been having before everything went down the drain. She steeled herself. She did feel really sorry about everything, but she also knew that there was nothing to be done about Colin tonight. She would have to let him cool off first and defer her attempts at damage control until tomorrow. Maybe even have him talk to Daphne first, let her take off the worst of the steam before El had to face him again. For now, she decided to focus on trying to save what was left of her own evening.

Angling her upper body towards Phillip, she slapped on her most charming smile and took the initiative.

“So, how you doin’?”

Sunday

The rain was falling heavily, same as it had the past two days. It matched Penelope’s mood.

Ever since the disastrous farce of a date on Friday, which had begun so promising, she couldn’t shake the feeling of melancholy that was following her like a shadow. A feeling of loss, of passed chances, of what-might-have-beens.

In all honesty, she should have known from the start. He was almost too perfect. The most beautiful man she had ever seen, with eyes in the most amazing shade of blue, a smile so genuine and bright that it took her breath away, and gorgeous chestnut curls that gave him an aura of mirth and mischief. And then, as if his looks alone weren’t disarming enough, he had also been so kind. He hadn’t been angry with her at all for basically slamming her wet umbrella into his face, and hadn’t even looked put out about it for a single second. Instead, he laughed. Laughed about himself, about the absurdity of the situation, and instantly tried to make her feel better about it. While looking unbelievably hot, with his shirt all wet, outlining the muscular chest underneath. And then again, he’d been so adorably awkward. His silly little wave, like a kid spotting their friend across the playground, had immediately made her smile. And then, in an obvious fit of nervousness, he had flexed his arm like a body builder and, once he realised how weird it must look like only a second later, had blushed so beautifully.

He wasn’t only fucking hot, he was also real and funny and smart and so unbelievably cute. God, her lips drew into a smile, just thinking about him again.

But then of course it all spiraled downwards. Why the hell did she agree to Eloise’s insane plan? Why didn’t she just tell her to set her and Colin up on a proper blind date, without pretending she and Eloise knew each other in the first place? She should have demanded Eloise come clean beforehand. Maybe then…

Ugh, maybe. 

It was always maybe with her. Always what if. When would it finally be her time for actual facts?

The sign of the cafe came in view before her, a guiding light through the curtain of the rain. She sighed in relief when she entered, the cozy lighting and the warmth and quiet a welcome relief from the noise of grey, rainy London outside. She only recently discovered this snug little cafe with its hodge podge of out-of-style furniture and its oversized coffee mugs, and found that the little table by the window was the perfect spot for writing, while also offering an opportunity to watch the people passing by.

After she hurried to the counter and placed her order, Penelope turned, looking for a free spot, when her gaze was drawn to the big couch by a familiar-looking mop of chestnut hair. Could it be…?

She approached slowly, trying to get a better look at the person’s profile without him noticing. Oh god, it was him, sitting there all by himself, deeply lost in thought with a sad, almost longing expression on his face. He had more stubble than on Friday, and didn’t seem to have bothered with styling his hair. It made him look a little more ruffled and, if possible, even hotter. Her heart began to race, but she knew she couldn’t let this opportunity pass, or she’d regret it for the rest of her life.

“Excuse me?”

He blinked, turning to look at her, his eyes getting big the moment he recognized her, so she continued.

“Hi. I’m glad I ran into you. Um, can we talk?”

He swallowed visibly before nodding once.

“Sure.”

Penelope smiled and took a seat beside him on the couch, taking a deep breath before she spoke.

“I'm sorry, really. I'm so embarrassed.”

He looked at her, not unkindly, but wary, clearly waiting for more.

“Really, I'm a pretty nice girl. Just ask my parole officer.”

The corners of his mouth twitched a little, and she had the feeling that he was trying not to smile. She would have to turn up the charm. Great. As if that had ever worked for her before…

“Apparently, I'm not a funny girl,” she admitted bashfully, which made him smile for a moment despite himself.

“Well… why did you go along with it?”

“Because I was told that I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't, and that I'd meet a hot guy, which I did.”

He smiled again, blushing sweetly, and had to clear his throat before he could answer.

”My sister really said I’m hot?” 

“Well, to be honest, she cringed while saying it 一- I was really worried she was lying and I’d actually go on a date with an ogre, but, as it turned out, she was right.”

He grinned, the smugness returning to his features.

“So you think I’m hot?”

She bit her lip, rolling her eyes at him.

“It seems she was also right about the other things she said…”

“What else did she say?”

“That you’re annoyingly self-assured and disgustingly good-natured but, once you get past those things, a really nice guy.”

“Nice guy? You fell for nice guy?!

“Well, did you already forget? She also said hot!”

He chuckled, rubbing his neck, looking adorably nervous.

“I would have thought that a girl who looks like you would have so many people kissing her feet that you wouldn’t need to do blind dates set up by strangers.”

That caught her off guard. She was confident enough to admit that some of her assets seemed to be appealing to men, but she’d never had men lining up in front of her apartment for a chance to get with her. She was way too shy and socially awkward and kind of nerdy to ever be made to feel so wanted. Was Colin really being serious? Was that indeed how he saw her?

“Not really… I only broke up with my boyfriend a few months ago, and I’ve been kind of stumbling since, dating-wise…”

Colin nodded understandingly, his smile so full of gentleness that she almost reached out for his hand.

“Well, is anything you told me about yourself true?”

“My name is Penelope. And I do want to write a romance novel.”

“Oh, uh-huh, uh-huh, prove it.”

She stared at him, stunned by his weird request.

“Prove I’m a writer? How does one even do that?”

Colin shrugged, grinning mischievously.

“A true writer would find a way…”

She huffed. The sheer audacity of this man! Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her laptop, opened it and began typing demonstratively while faking a thoughtful expression, scrunched up nose, teeth biting her lower lip and all.

That made him chuckle, and when she looked back to him, he was smiling brightly, almost adoringly, at her.

“You are really good. I do write a little myself.”

“Oh really? That’s great. What are you writing?”

“Um, mostly just journal entries of my travels and stuff, or the occasional drabble, you know? Just thoughts that need an outlet… It’s weird. I’ve never told anybody about that ever before.”

She nodded reassuringly, somehow deeply moved by his trust. How did this man get more perfect by the minute?

“Do you think that maybe, sometime, I could…”

She stopped. Fuck, what was she doing? Had she just impulsively almost asked him for another date? She never did stuff like that. She was never that bold. Only somehow, with him, it seemed like she was.

He grinned, bright and happy and endlessly handsome.

“It’s okay. Go ahead, ask me out.”

“Okay. Do you think maybe, sometime, I could take you out?”

“Oh, you just got me off guard!” He quipped, and she had to laugh out loud. He so effortlessly made her feel light, confident, secure.

“Yeah, that would be nice. How about dinner tonight?”

“Sounds lovely,” she beamed back at him, her heart beating rapidly.

The heated gaze between them got interrupted by an exaggerated “aawwww” sound coming from somewhere behind them.

Penelope looked up to see Eloise standing there with a take-out coffee and a paper bag in hand, grinning broadly. That woman was absolutely crazy, but somehow she liked her nonetheless. “Look at this, my two best friends!”

A growl came from Colin beside her, making Eloise jump a little as she got the gist. 

“Excuse me,” she whispered, and out the door she went.

One year later

“Nooooooooo!” Benedict screamed as Anthony and Gregory groaned into their hands, bemoaning yet another goal chance for Chelsea.

“Would you mind screaming a little quieter?” Colin’s voice came from the hallway. “I can’t concentrate on my Windsor knot with all the noise…”

“What do you need a Windsor knot for? Why are you all dressed up anyway?” Gregory asked, raising his eyebrows as he mustered Colin through the open doorway.

“I’m having dinner with Pen,” Colin beamed brightly, trying to smooth out his hair in the mirror. “It’s our anniversary. Just stopped by to get her present. I had Mum store it so Pen wouldn’t accidentally stumble over it in our flat.”

“Awww, you guys are so cute,” Benedict sighed. “I can’t believe it’s already been a year since your favourite brother decided to loudly scream a random name in a public place and make you the happiest man alive.”

“Happiest and most sickeningly in love…” Gregory coughed.

“And yet, it feels like Penelope has been a part of us forever, does it not?” Anthony added, eyeing Colin’s necktie with the critical look of a CEO used to impeccable tie knots.

“So, what’s it the anniversary of?” Benedict inquired, eyes half on the game again. “Your first date? First kiss? First time you had sex?”

Colin turned around, finally satisfied with his appearance, his smile spanning his whole face.

“Mhm, yeah.”