Chapter Text
Whatever you do at the crossroads. Keep going forward.
Or something like that.
(I was never really good with endings)
Avery stared at his screen. He had been doing so for almost an hour. The crackling of fireworks could be heard from outside accompanied by the bright colors seeping through his curtains, signaling the start of the new year. He should be out celebrating with his friends and family, but all he could feel was a deep, hollow feeling, like he would lose his mind if he took his eyes off of the screen for even just a second, how ironic. He stared at the screen as if he could somehow magically change the outcome by sheer willpower.
He reread the letter over and over and over again, until every word was ingrained into his mind. He had promised that he wouldn’t forget, that he wouldn’t let the memories slip from his mind ever again, and this time he wouldn’t.
He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair, wanting nothing more than for the darkness to swallow him whole. He felt like a drowning man, and this time there was no one here to pull him out. His thoughts started to spiral out of control, none of this felt real, he felt so, so useless. If only he had just been a bit smarter, a little quicker maybe then Derek wouldn’t have—
A small voice in the back of his head stopped his train of thought right in its tracks.
‘You’re real. You’re special. Remember who you are.’
Avery jolted upright as the words drifted into his mind, reminding him once more of what had just transpired between them. He chuckled softly as tears pricked at his eyes, even now, that man was the one pulling him out of this dread and misery, his guiding star, a ray of light in this darkness. Derek had wanted him to continue moving forward, and that was what he was going to do.
He found the man once, and he’ll do it again.
With a newfound determination, Avery dried his tears and got to work, time is of the essence.
“Derek..Hutchins..hm” Avery mumbles absentmindedly as he typed the name into google. Nothing. He assumed the man was around his age, probably a college student. Following that line of thought he started searching through college websites before realizing that they probably wouldn’t have the names of the students just on the website.
After hours of research and coming up with nothing, Avery decided to write a post on multiple different platforms as a last ditch effort.
AveryTheMayo
‘Hi everyone! I have a very weird question. Does anyone know a ‘Derek Hutchins’? He’s—‘
Avery pauses. How could he describe a man he knew little to nothing about? The thought sent a sickening wave through his stomach, even if he found Derek, would he even be- what if he goes through all this trouble and turmoil only to end up at a grave. Derek probably knew everything about him didn’t he? What he looks like, what color he likes, what food he enjoys..but Avery might not even get the chance to get to know him better, all he gets is a name that leaves a bitter taste on his tongue.
A sharp pain on his bottom lip pulled him out of his daze. He had accidentally bit his bottom lip so hard it had broken the skin. He snapped back to reality and shook the remainder of whatever that was off of him and focused back on the post.
AveryTheMayo
‘Hi everyone! I have a very weird question. Does anyone know a ‘Derek Hutchins’? He’s a friend that I haven’t been able to contact in a while. I'm not sure where he lives but I know he hasn’t left his house in a long long time. If anyone has any information please shoot me a message!’
“Good enough.” Avery mumbled to himself and posted it. A couple of minutes passed in silence, the ticking from the clock felt like the only thing keeping him sane right now.
After what felt like hours had passed, Avery finally received a couple of comments, mostly from trolls who found it funny to comment useless stuff on other people’s posts. But one comment in particular stood out to him.
<Anonymous> : My dormmate’s name is Derek Hutchins but he hasn’t been back here since he went home for the holidays
Avery shot up in his chair and immediately typed out a reply.
<AveryTheMayo> : ohmygof can you srnd me a DM pleqse?
<Anonymous> : Ofc one moment.
Avery’s hands were shaking so much but he barely registered it, all he could think about was Derek and that commenter. He stares at his inbox eagerly waiting for a message to come through.
When it finally did he took a shaky breath before entering the chat.
<IHateWifies> : Hi, I’m the one who commented on your post just now
<AveryTheMayo> : ohmygod hi I’m Avery, I am Derek’s friend-
No..friend didn’t sound right, were they even friends? Did they know each other well enough? To be fair, Derek did call Avery his friend so he’ll go with that. He turned back down to his keyboard and continued typing.
<AveryTheMayo> : ohmygod hi I’m Avery, I am Derek’s friend. He hasn’t been answering for a while and I’m getting kind of worried, so I was wondering if you knew where he lives or anything that could help me find him?
Avery hoped that they wouldn’t see through the flimsy excuse.
<IHateWifies> : I see, I didn’t know him that well to be honest, we never really talked much despite living in the same dorm. He's not exactly the approachable type. Dude disappeared completely after the holidays, he never came back to the dorm. His things are still here too. I don’t know where he lives but I’ll try to find the dorm documents for you, his address should be on there.
<AveryTheMayo> : Thank you so much-! How can I repay you?
Left on read. They probably went to look for the documents. Avery chewed on his bottom lip nervously as he waited. His heart was pounding in his chest, but before he could start spiraling again, Derek’s dormmate came back.
<IHateWifies> : Sent a photo.
<IHateWifies> : Don’t worry about it man, I just hope he’s doing alright.
<AveryTheMayo> : Thank you so so so much, you’ve been a massive help-!
<IHateWifies> : Anytime. I’m glad I could help.
Avery long pressed the message and gave it an emoji, he didn’t just want to leave them on read after all. As his eyes scanned over the address he was given, he realized how far Derek’s house actually was, he had to leave now.
He quickly threw his essentials into a bag and left the house without looking back, his family probably won’t even notice he’s gone. It was still dark outside and taxis were sparse, the ones that were around had refused to go because it was too far for them. After a long while Avery groaned in frustration, tears pricking at his eyes once more.
He sat down at an empty bus stop to rest his legs and dry his eyes when a car pulled up in front of him, it was a taxi. The window rolled down revealing the driver, a man in his sixties with kind eyes and a warm smile. “Are you okay? Do you need to go somewhere?” The man asked sympathetically and Avery suddenly felt self conscious about how pathetic he must look, while others were celebrating the new year with their loved ones, here he was crying alone at a bus stop.
“..I- yeah- I need to get to here as quickly as possible” Avery’s shaky voice managed to croak out as he showed the photo of Derek’s address to the driver.
At first the man seemed like he wanted to refuse but he took one more look at Avery and sighed, signaling for him to get in. The tension in Avery’s shoulder seemed to have lessened at this gesture, sighing in relief. “Thank you so much, I’m so sorry about all this” Avery said, thanking the man profusely.
The car took off into the night, passing by buildings, decorations and colorful lights. It was a beautiful sight. Avery looked out the window, a bittersweet feeling settling in his chest. ‘Maybe Derek would like to come see this with me one day’ He thought absentmindedly before zoning out.
The silence of the car ride left Avery alone with his thoughts once more.
He was so rash and didn’t think this through at all did he? He didn’t even confirm if this was actually his Derek or not. What if this was a different Derek Hutchins? No, the timelines added up, plus he didn’t have anymore time to lose, if this really was his Derek, every single delay could lead to him being too late.
But what if he was already too late..? What if he had gone all this way just to find Derek slumped over on his desk, unmoving? What if all he had left of the man was a gravestone? The thought made him sick to his stomach and tears suddenly rolled down his cheeks. He weeped. He weeped for a man he barely knew. Why? Why was he-
“Kid, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but why are you in such a rush to go so far away?” The driver suddenly spoke up, his voice gentle and patient, like he was trying to sooth the crying Avery with his warmth.
Avery considered the question carefully, deciding whether he should answer truthfully or not, but saying he was on his way to help ‘his friend who was basically possessed by an eldritch entity and cursed with infinite knowledge but is unable to look away from his minecraft screen because if he does he will most likely lose his goddamned mind and die’ doesn’t seem to be a very good idea lest he sound insane.
“I’m trying to get to someone..I don’t know how he’s doing right now, last I heard he’s very sick and I haven’t gotten from him in a long time..” Avery trailed off, making the silence making the air in the car seem a little awkward.
“And I assume this person is someone you hold very dear?” The driver continued for him. Avery paused for a moment, considering something, before reluctantly nodding in response, his stress and worry practically rolling off of him in waves.
“Honestly, I don’t even know him that well, but the thought that I might not have another chance to get to know him better really hurts. And now I’m so scared of what I’m going to see when I walk through that door” Avery blurts out, fidgeting with his fingers, his head hung low. He didn’t understand why he wanted nothing more but to tell this driver everything. Everything just felt so heavy. Too much for one boy to bear.
After a brief silence, the driver chuckled softly. “Ahh..you remind me of myself when I was a teenager”
That intrigued Avery. “Oh..? How so?” He asked curiously.
“I met my wife in college, she was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I couldn’t imagine a life without her constant nagging” The man started fondly. Avery could practically sense the oncoming ‘but’.
“But a little while after we got married, she said she had to go back home and take care of her sick mother and how could I possibly refuse her? I even offered to go with her but she refused profusely.” He let out a shaky sigh before continuing.
“Turns out, her mother wasn't the one who was sick. It was her. By the time I got to the hospital, she was already gone.”
The car went silent, so much so that you could hear a pin drop.
“I..I’m sorry to hear that sir..” Avery mumbles softly.
“Don’t be. I’m sure she would have wanted me to continue moving forward. She would’ve wanted me to be happy and I’m sure he would want you to be happy too.” The driver said with a wistful tone. He obviously missed her dearly. Avery let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding.
“I’m scared. What if he’s already-” Avery cut himself off, realizing how pathetic he was for the nth time today.
“Now, that’s no way to think. Have some faith. I cannot tell you how he is, but I can tell you that you’ll only run yourself into the ground with that mindset. Trust me, I’ve been there before.” The man chided him slightly.
“We’re almost there, clear your head up first. You will get nowhere panicking like this.”
Avery hummed absentmindedly. As he looked out the window he spotted a quaint flower stall, it was the only shop open at this time. He double checked the address on the Driver’s google maps, Derek’s house was just around the block.
“Wait- I’m sorry, could you drop me off here please?” Avery spoke up suddenly. As the car slowly came to a stop Avery rummaged around his bag to find his wallet. “How much do I owe you sir?”
“Don’t worry about it” The man said, waving Avery off.
“Are you sure? I couldn’t possibly-” Avery asked him again for confirmation.
“I am. I wish you both the best of luck, no matter what happens. Go now, before it’s too late”
Avery thanked the man profusely once more. He watched as the car left before pulling out his phone and opening his messages.
<AveryTheMayo> : Hey, I’m so sorry for bothering you again, but do you know what kind of flowers he likes?