Archive of Our Own

Dazai felt off. He knew then that he had been drugged.

There wasn't any evidence besides that. He was familiar enough with being drugged to know what was going on though. He was practically immune to all the most common drugs so it must've been an oddball, something Mori didn't consider important enough to train his tolerance on. Chuuya and him were looking for a target at some high end business party. The building was stale and stuffy, and everyone in this damn place had the same stupid laugh. That fake laugh boring rich people did when they secretly hated you. 

He exhaled till his chest clenched in protest, then slowly let air fill his lungs again. The pit of anxiety in his stomach didn't leave him alone. They were in a dark room, it was close enough to the bathrooms that their target would have to walk by at some point, it was a long party and everyone here was holding a drink at all times. He assumed most of them thought it made them look sophisticated or busy. He groaned, everyone here was so damn boring. Chuuya was hiding beside him, watching the hallway. The plan was to use Chuuya's gravity manipulation to knock over a large bookshelf in the hallway onto the target. It would be staged as an accident. No one at the party would care enough to think otherwise. 

Usually they wouldn't put effort into covering up their crimes, but this murder was part of a larger plan that would be ruined if anyone knew of the mafia’s involvement in it. Of course, this ‘larger plan’ was a mystery to Dazai, Mori just implied it while smiling in that knowing manner, as usual.

He didn't warn Chuuya of his predicament— he hadn't made a mistake. It wouldn't be a real mistake if he pretended it didn't happen. He felt warm, a weird type of warmth, it felt familiar but his mind was too foggy to place it. He could tell he was flushed red all over. Thankfully the darkness in the room hid it, he didn't like looking pathetic. His brain was also a bit slow, not too much that it would affect the mission but enough that it was noticeable to himself.

He crossed off possible drugs in his head, his only symptom was warmth and a bit of slowed mental ability, so general and ambiguous it meant almost nothing. The drug was definitely in that glass of wine he had earlier, there was nothing else he consumed this afternoon. Surely he would have noticed if someone got close enough to inject him with something. It has been an hour since he drank it. He crossed off everything that didn't fit the timeline of symptoms.

He stared at the back of Chuuya's head, he was looking out diligently, doing his job like a good dog. His hair shone even in the darkness of the room, there was an unusual amount of gel in it, Koyou had done it up for him. Chuuya didn't normally use gel. Dazai's gaze lowered cautiously. He was wearing a white dress shirt, unbuttoned just enough to be professional and attractive. His collarbones jutted out beautifully. His gaze caught on them. It felt almost like he was getting hotter. He kept staring absentmindedly. Chuuya suddenly shivered as if he could feel Dazai's eyes on him. 

He turned, scowling. “What are you staring at, huh?” Chuuya's eyes were narrowed. 

Dazai froze. He didn't know how to respond— he didn't even know what he was doing, there was weighted pause. 

"I'm babysitting my little dog.” He said it deadpan, mostly because he knew it pissed Chuuya off more when he did.

Chuuya just scoffed, “Just shut up. You're creepin’ me out."

Chuuya turned back to watch the hallway. Dazai tried to look somewhere else. The dimly lit room was decorated in a basic high class fashion. Bookshelves full of pretentious classics, covered in dust. Clearly no one had touched them in a long time. Paintings, they looked expensive. He didn't know much about painters but he could tell they were western, the frames were decorated with gold lining. Probably real.

Pretentious. There was a single couch, earlier Chuuya told him it was apparently an expensive brand. He had looked impressed, but honestly from someone who didn't know any furniture brands, it just looked lonely. A lonely boring couch with no one to sit on it because it wasn't really a couch. It was a prop, a brag. He breathed steadily through his nose.

This wasn't helping at all. What else could he even think about, there was nothing interesting here. Chuuya's collarbones again called out to him from his peripheral vision. Now he could definitely feel the way his face warmed even more, not only from the drug. This is so stupid. This wasn't like him. He wasn't attracted to Chuuya. Such thoughts only ever appeared in his dreams— and he'd tried to bury those dreams so deep within himself. Guilt maybe, shame? Who knows.

He had this rule, he didn’t indulge thoughts like this when he wasn’t alone. Sure in the dark of his room he could admit to himself embarrassing, shameful things, but right now he would be sure to deny it inside and out. It kept him safe, distanced his emotions from outsiders. 

He sighed. Right now all he could think about was the small sliver of skin that Chuuya was showing. He closed his eyes to shut it out. They appeared back in his imagination. He imagined biting them. Putting his tongue in the grooves. Thought of the sound Chuuya would make when he did. He suddenly felt he needed more air. He forced his eyes open, to push the thoughts away, back into secrecy. The warm feeling in his stomach didn't fade. He worriedly looked over to Chuuya as if he’d be staring at him disgusted, as if he would somehow figure out what Dazai was thinking about. 

This wasn't- it wasn’t safe. He couldn’t think about this type of thing here. He looked back at the room but there was nothing new to see. Just the same old bookshelves. Still didn’t recognize the paintings. Couch still lonely. 

Chuuya suddenly moved beside him. He flinched slightly. Chuuya didn’t speak to him, he only heard the strangled yelp that sounded from the hallway and a loud bang. He stared at the back of Chuuya’s head. The target was eliminated.

They moved away from the door— they didn’t speak. There was no communication needed. They walked back to the main party. There was no need to worry about alibis, everyone here was so self-absorbed it hardly mattered they’d disappeared for 45 minutes. Chuuya entered the party first and Dazai dragged a minute or two behind. 

They weren’t supposed to be seen together. Honestly Dazai was supposed to just be here to help collect information on the guests, he didn't need to involve himself in the kill. The only reason he had gone to hide with Chuuya was because he hated crowded rooms. He thinks Chuuya knows, because he always lets him escape with little fight. Maybe he should be more worried about that, Mori taught him never show your weaknesses.

He sat back at the bar, he's already talked to half of the people at this party. Chuuya was supposed to do the other half. Talking was Dazai's thing so he had no trouble doing it all efficiently, Chuuya was far less efficient, that's why they weren't leaving yet. It was a pretty unfair split but Dazai surely wasn't going to ask for more work.

The odd sensation of whatever was coursing through his veins brought him back to the moment. Dammit, he couldn’t drink anything else from that stupid bar, maybe he should warn Chuuya too.. Chuuya didn’t have the drug tolerance he had. He didn't even drink enough to get buzzed, what a shame.  Maybe he'd visit Lupin after this. He usually wouldn't go by himself but Oda and Ango had both been busy this past week. Maybe it would help him forget this stupid drug, or maybe it'd react badly with the drug and kill him. Either way, he'd be grateful. Looking out at the party he sighed, he truly had nothing else to do anyway. 

Chuuya was by a staircase talking to a woman in a blue dress beside the stairs. She was taller than him, which most people above the age of twelve were, but she in particular looked down at him with her chin turned up like she was too good to talk to him. It could be the height difference, or maybe she just had an attitude. Either way Chuuya looked annoyed, and that was pretty amusing, he knew just how much Chuuya despised missions like this. He preferred the action. 

Chuuya turned a bit, his back to him, bent slightly to lean his arms on the railing. Almost instantaneously Dazai eyes drifted down his body. Freezing, he stopped himself and looked away, shifting his gaze around before planting it firmly on the woman. He looked at her dress, it framed her figure nicely, she was definitely an attractive woman. Chuuya's lean body was right there despite it all, the pants he wore were tighter than what he would usually pick out himself. He thought of the firm curve of Chuuya's ass while staring blankly at the women's chest. He wanted to stop himself but he couldn’t help it. The thoughts were so tempting— drawing him in. Something twisted deep in his stomach. He looked back to Chuuya. 

The drug must be making him crazy. That was the only explanation. He didn’t look away. The familiar feeling of arousal stirred in his groin. He felt almost sick for it. What was he even thinking about, what is wrong with him. He turned away forcefully. 

He wasn’t looking anymore but he kept thinking about it. He couldn't help but give in to the thoughts– like his self-control was being stripped away. He was imagining horrible things like touching and grabbing and feeling. Not only that, but he could feel himself beginning to get hard in his pants. He felt like a pathetic pervert. Chuuya would be so mad if he knew.

He thought back to the drug, it all connected. Shit. How could he overlook this possibility? He was probably given some sort of aphrodisiac. That’s why he had been so weirdly horny all night. He groaned. This sucked, and his dick was half hard now.

He wanted to die, which wasn’t really out of the ordinary. It felt bad anyway. Chuuya was gone now. He didn't know if that was a good or bad thing, he just prayed he could get rid of this issue before he saw him again. There was a buzz in his pocket.

He pulled out his phone, the message read ‘now.’ Quick, precise and demanding. He looked around and saw Chuuya glaring at him from the corner of the bar, watching him. There was a heavy feeling in his stomach as he exited the room.

The drug was definitely slowing his thought process. He couldn't think straight and his emotions were heightened. He didn't have a plan. Walking up to a black van, he opened the door and perched himself in the passenger seat. There was a mafia grunt in the driver's seat. Neither of them spoke, the man knew who he was and what to do.

He drove Dazai a couple blocks away and dropped him off by the side of the street. Chuuya's car was a couple blocks away, he knew the location well. They used this spot often. He exhaled in relief when he finally got there. It would be a while till Chuuya arrived, he had left early so that they wouldn't be seen leaving at the same time. 

He sat in the passenger seat, it was finally quiet. The tension in his shoulders disappeared. The car was full of his and Chuuya's things. Chuuya's stupid hat was discarded in the front seat. They were going straight home because Mori was too busy this week for his usual nagging. He enjoyed dragging out the post mission process for no reason, always wanted an in person meeting. Dazai was honestly grateful he decided to forego that for today, he already had enough to think about.

Where Dazai and Chuuya lived was classified information so Chuuya drove them home in cases like this. He bounced his leg. In his mind he saw Chuuya bent over again, there was rush in his stomach. Fuck.

He was fighting for his life, dick throbbing shamefully. He wanted to die. The warmth began spreading again, now he knew it was the heat of arousal. Sitting down still like this was making it worse. He couldn't keep his mind straight.

Suddenly the door opened and there he was. His collarbones caught his eye immediately, Dazai averted his eyes. 

Chuuya grabbed his hat from the seat, “Bastard. “ Chuuya said to him. It was meant to be a greeting, Dazai didn't reply. He felt the heat rising to his face, wanted to stare so badly. It was so tempting. Chuuya just sat behind the wheel squinting a bit at his lack of a reply, he took off in the direction of Dazai and Chuuya's apartment building. They sat in silence. Comfortable for Chuuya, not so much for Dazai.

Five minutes later there was a call from Mori, Chuuya answered it. 

“Hello boss” Chuuya's voice was level, a hint of respect in it. Dazai resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Mori spoke, it was on speaker.

“Hello Chuuya, Dazai. I assume the mission was a success?”

“Yes,” the way Chuuya talked to the boss never failed to annoy him, Mori didn't deserve that kind of respect. 

“Well that's excellent news!” He wanted to groan. He wanted to look at Chuuya more. 

Mori started on a tangent about the mission, giving his consensus on what happened and what to do next. Dazai tuned him out. He'd ask Chuuya to fill him in later, he really couldn't care less right now. The sound of his name called him back to the room, “Although Dazai, don't think I didn't see what happened.” Dazai froze, the other boy raised an eyebrow,

“ I watch the cameras you know. You were drugged. It doesn't seem serious, but I am ordering that Chuuya watches you for the night. I will check up on you if it's still important tomorrow,” Mori didn't even have the decency to sound worried. He obviously knew that Dazai was in zero danger, this was one of those obscure methods of control he liked. It was hard to tell if he knew what he'd been drugged with or not. Chuuya was scowling at him, he chose not to make eye contact.

“Okay! Seems like that’s all, I must get going.” Mori's sudden switch to a cheery voice grated against Dazai’s eardrums. There was a pause, like Mori was waiting for someone to say goodbye. Chuuya was too distracted to notice and Dazai really couldn't care less. After three seconds he hung up without a word. Chuuya was still glaring at nothing.

Dazai didn’t say anything. He for sure didn’t want to tell Chuuya what exactly he was drugged with, maybe for once he felt a small bit embarrassed. Embarrassed for allowing this to happen for him, and the way he felt his control slipping away with every passing second. Cutting through the silence, Chuuya spoke up.

“Are you fucking serious,” he fumed.

Dazai stares back at him, “I had it under control.”

Chuuya sighs, “You always fucking do this,” his voice raised in frustration. He sighed, “just– tell me what drug.”

No, Chuuya would definitely laugh, or be disgusted. The car filled with a tense silence that made it feel as if the walls were closing in on him. Calling him out. 

He hated being the center of attention. The silence weighed down on him, begging for an answer. He hated Mori, he was always finding the most intricate ways to humiliate him.

Chuuya sighed, “Why are you genuinely so childish. I'm tired Dazai, all I want is for you to work with me for once. I really am just tired right now please.”

It wasn't the usual reaction. It made him feel something he didn't understand, but surely negative, even though he usually strived to annoy Chuuya as much as possible. He felt like crying. Fuck, this stupid drug was making him all emotional. He could still feel the disgraceful feeling between his legs despite it all. Still hard.

Eventually Chuuya would have to notice somehow. He wasn't as smart as Dazai, but he was observant and Dazai couldn't hide it. If he lied about the drug Chuuya would probably see his erection anyway then he wouldn't even have an acceptable excuse as to why he was hard. The only answer was to tell him. He bounced his knee.

Chuuya was sitting almost patiently, but his finger tapped over and over on the wheel. Chuuya always got in bad moods after these types of missions, in the past they would just go to arcades afterwards. Dazai claimed he just wanted to beat Chuuya in the games, really he'd rather go to sleep after long boring missions, but Chuuya always smiled more after going to the arcade.

“I–” He cut himself off. Chuuya sighed again. He spoke up,

“Dazai what is the problem. I'm not gonna make a list of your drug weaknesses or something, if that's what you're worried about,” He spoke more softly, finger slowing down. He knew how Dazai was about things like this.

Dazai hated when Chuuya was being nice to him. It felt weird– out of place. 

“If I tell Chuuya he has to promise he won't make fun of me” He replied. Chuuya raised a brow and glanced at Dazai to read his face.

“What's with all these extra theatrics, just tell me.”

Dazai gave him a look. Chuuya looked at him all confused again. “Okay whatever, I won't.”

Dazai squirmed, he looked at Chuuya then the window. Chuuya was visibly holding back a groan. If only he could sink into the car seat. Dazai opened his mouth and mumbled so timidly that it was almost impossible to hear, “Aphrodisiac.”

Chuuya's eyes widened, a faint pink blush dusted his cheeks, “You're not serious." Dazai just groaned and hit his head on the dashboard. It was an uncomfortable stretch considering the way his legs were crossed but he managed. The real issue was the man staring at him baffled.

He took a deep breath, "Okay, you're not joking. " Chuuya looked at him then quickly away. "Is it.. you know - actually working.."

"Chuuya." He said breathlessly.

That was answer enough. Chuuya looked back to the road with a high blush on his cheeks. His heart beat rapidly in his chest. His eyes were fixed on the road, determined not to look at Dazai. Maybe if he pretended he didn't exist he would calm down.

They continued driving in silence. Dazai didn't lift his head but Chuuya eventually let his eyes turn away from the road, they immediately looked to his crossed legs, the implication behind that. He blushed harder and looked back to the road.

He had the urge to make fun of him— to somehow make it less awkward for himself, but he had to take pity on Dazai's situation. He'd hate it if he ended up in a similar situation. Maybe in another situation he'd offer to let him go to his own apartment for the night, but they both knew Mori's word was final and indisputable. He decided to let the silence exist for a while, until there was reason enough to break it.

When they finally got to their destination Chuuya sighed and looked towards Dazai, who was still bent over the dashboard. He'd laugh if he wasn't so nervous.

"Dazai. We're here." He said. Dazai raised his head, not making eye contact with him, he exited the car silently. The way he attempted to discretely uncross his legs was enough to make his stomach do something weird.

It felt almost wrong, Dazai seemed too shy about everything. Usually he acted like nothing could get to him, as if he was invincible. He didn't ever think that he'd be embarrassed by something like this, but this was a petty embarrassing situation for anyone to be in.

Would Dazai need to— no Chuuya didn't want to think of that. It made that feeling in his stomach strengthen. He didn't want to feel this way about Dazai. His brain was just being dumb, it didn't mean anything. Dazai led the way inside, Chuuya didn't say anything he just let him. He was bent slightly at the waist, nothing that was noticeable to someone that didn't know him, have his posture memorized. It was a small sign of insecurity, but it didn't help him hide. Probably unintentional.

The elevator in their building had been broken for the past week so they'd have to take the stairs. Chuuya lived on the second floor so it really wasn't that much of a bother. Chuuya stepped in front of Dazai to unlock the door to his apartment. He walked in. Dazai stood behind him like an awkward cat. The silence persisted, both boys awkward and unsure.

"You can go to the guest room. " Chuuya muttered, he forced a nonchalance into his voice, a normalcy that didn't fit his internal monologue. Dazai quietly rushed to the guestroom. He didn't know why it was so awkward, he felt like he should tease him, make him embarrassed on purpose. Just to win against him. Maybe it's because of his morbid curiosity. Because he wanted to see him in this state, uncomfortable, hunched over, blushing, crossing his legs, sweating, trying to seem unaffected. He wanted to sit and watch while Dazai squirmed, not in a weird way, just.. just..

The door closed. Chuuya didn't make any move to follow him. He just stood there and let the turmoil inside him fill his mind.

He looked at the closed door and breathed through his nose. He tried to clear his mind. It didn't work. His thoughts changed to the image of a woman getting Dazai off, grinding on his lap. Dazai would probably thrust up, desperate to come. She'd run her hands down his chest and he'd shiver and moan, made weak from the drug. He began stiffly walking in circles. He thought of Dazai's head thrown back in pleasure, the sort of expression that'd be on his face. What he'd sound like. His hips thrusting up again and again, she'd probably barely have to do anything. He'd be so desperate.

No. He stopped walking. What is he doing. He needed to get some of this gel out of his hair.

He didn't like how his brain was betraying him.

Dazai meanwhile, was also in a similar turmoil. Immediately upon being left alone he couldn't help but begin his fantasies again. He stood facing the closed door as if it would suddenly burst open again. His dick throbbed horribly in his slacks. It almost hurt at this point. There was nothing he wanted more than to reach down and relieve himself, but Chuuya was right outside the door. He saw Chuuya's ass again in his mind, it only made it worse. He groaned.

Hesitantly, he reached downwards to palm his erection. A small involuntary noise left him. Immediate relief. The heat spread to his stomach and thighs, he panted. It was addicting, it felt so good. He probably shouldn't have done that. He palmed himself harder, bending over at the waist from the pleasure. A high-pitched breathy moan escaped him, louder. He stopped immediately, he could barely control himself, he's never been so horny in his life. If things continued like this he surely wouldn't be able to stay quiet enough. His dick was weeping in his underwear.

His entire body shivered with need only once before he gave in and palmed himself again— another small noise. He stood up firm. No, no he had to stop. He was stronger than this, he had self-control.

He laid down onto the bed. Chuuya's steps padded along the floor outside, Dazai was again reminded he was not alone. Was he really this weak? He sighed and turned onto his stomach to hide his face in the sheets, big mistake. His erection dragged harshly against the sheets, he gasped and froze in place, as if moving again would be a sign of failure, losing control.

It began to throb again, begging him to move, to let this happen. He shifted slightly— he told himself it was an accident. It felt so good. Accidentally, he pressed himself into the mattress again and shivers ran up his spine. He let himself grind again, firmly against the sheets. Never had he wanted something so bad, a pleasured sob escaped him where his face pressed into the pillow. He did it again, harder, faster. It felt like surrender.

He gave in to it a bit more every time, a harder grind, his fingers clenching firmly into the sheets like it'd help him keep control. He rolled his face to the side to breathe better. An involuntary sob escaped him. Too loud, he bit his lip, the knowledge that Chuuya was still outside the door nagging in the back of his mind. He tucked his hand under his weight. There was no way he could call that an accident. But it felt so good.

He humped into his hand while he palmed himself. The footsteps outside shuffled again, Chuuya's face popped into his mind. He thrust even harder, he knew distantly that he'd probably be ashamed in about ten minutes, the feeling overtook any sense of logic he had.

Warmth spread all throughout his belly, pleasure between his thighs, shivers running up and down his spine. He sobbed his name as quietly as he could, like it was an accident. Logically, he knew it was wrong, that Chuuya would probably be mad at him. He couldn't help it. Chuuya filled his mind entirely— it wasn't anything specific, just the fleeting images of his face, his collarbones, his throat, his thighs. He wanted him so bad. He sobbed again. It felt almost okay to feel like this for his friend when the pleasure between his legs made it feel so good. He moaned his name a little louder. His movements were uncoordinated and messy. He told himself he would stop any second.

 There was a creak of the door— Dazai's reaction time was too slow to stop in time. A shocked gasp cut through the air. He scrambled off the bed to his feet. His dick tented his pants, damning evidence.

Chuuya was standing, staring with wide eyes and a red face. Dazai's throat lost all function. "I-" Chuuya started, "I heard you calling my name and I thought.. I thought that-" his voice was high-pitched with shock. Dazai just stared, immediately protesting and denying within his mind. He wasn't doing that, he never said Chuuya's name. There was no way Chuuya heard. He wanted to die.

His brain searched around for an explanation. One that would erase that look from Chuuya's face. No answer was good enough, they all sounded like useless denials. He was smarter than that.

"I wasn't— I didn't" Dazai pleaded anyway. He was desperate enough to make himself look stupid.

Chuuya just stared. Dazai couldn't force any more words up his useless throat, instead he felt tears assault his eyes. His vision blurred. He tried to blink them away but all it did was force them out. He sobbed- no longer the desperate sobs from before, but like something backed into a wall. Chuuya's eyes widened even more, and the blush on his cheeks was momentarily forgotten.

"Hey- Hey. I- It's okay- You don't need to cry I'm not like— I'm not mad" He stumbled over his words. Dazai crying was a rare sight. Dazai just sobbed harder. Chuuya approached him carefully, like dealing with an active shooter. He didn't exactly know what to do. Dazai's body folded in on himself, rubbing at his face hopelessly trying to erase the wetness. The damage had already been done, he'd been caught. He exposed all he'd been hiding, trying to erase for all these years. He hated crying, hated other people seeing him crying. It was humiliating.

Chuuya reached a heavy hand to his shoulder, he rubbed it halfheartedly, fingers twitching slightly. Chuuya glanced at his shaking shoulders, he gave a more heated glance to his crotch. Dazai's dick pressed against the fabric uncomfortably. Dazai started to talk, it was muffled by his hands.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry Chuuya," he hesitated on his name, remembering how he'd heard him cry it out earlier, "I really don't know why-I jus- It's the drug. The drug is messing with me really badly. Please it's- it's making my mind all muddled. It's making me think weird things. Please don't-"

Chuuya grabbed his bandaged wrists, lightly tugging them away from his face. "Hey- calm down Dazai. " There was an unusual softness to his tone that made Dazai give in and let him move his hands. Chuuya gave him a small smile. Dazai sobbed again.

He reached for his cheek and cupped it gently. Dazai resisted the urge to lean into it. There were a couple seconds of silence, Chuuya looked like he was considering something.

"Can I-" Chuuya blushed. If Dazai was thinking about him while touching himself, then this was okay right? If he touched him it'd be okay? Could it be allowed, just once?

Chuuya moved his hand to the back of his head, pulling his hair slightly to maneuver his face towards him. He leaned in staring at his lips for a couple seconds too long. Dazai's breath caught in his throat. He pulled away at the last second and leaned into his neck instead. He placed a warm open mouthed kiss to his skin. Dazai let out a small gasp. Chuuya shivered with anticipation. He leaned back again to look into Dazai's uncovered eye. He stared back at him, eye wet, wide, vulnerable.

"Chuuya- what are you.."

Chuuya shushed him, leaned in and whispered into his ear "I'm gonna take care of you. "

Dazai let out a shaky breath, shivering. He didn't know how to respond to that, a small "oh." was all he could manage. Chuuya leaned into his neck, biting the space beneath his ear, Dazai almost flinched away, but his warm tongue soothed the pain with gentle licks. Dazai tried not to lean into it. He stared at the wall in a daze. He could see Chuuya's orange hair in the corner of his vision. In the time he had been alone he had gotten rid of most of the gel.

Chuuya moved slowly against him. He almost felt like he was dreaming. This was the kind of thing that only ever happened in his dreams.

Hands pushed him onto the bed, he let them, his only focus was the tongue gliding across his neck. The room faded away around him. Another hand pressed into his crotch and he whimpered, hips jerking unsure of whether to move away or forward. His eyes teared up again. He could barely comprehend what was happening.

"Shhh- you're okay" Chuuya whispered. He pressed his back into the mattress. His hand pressed down on his crotch firmer until Dazai's legs gave in beneath him. Tears fell down his face. Chuuya's other hand ran down his sides with a certain softness— a care that Chuuya had never shown so blatantly. A care Dazai had not felt in his lifetime. Another sob left him.

Tomorrow they would pretend it was just lust.

Soft hands pressed into his sides as Chuuya knelt down to his lower half, staring at the tent in his pants. He leaned in, Dazai threw his head back and swallowed like he was scared to watch.

He stared at the ceiling as he felt Chuuya's warm mouth on his dick through his pants. Wetness seeped through to his skin. He thrust up into it, lost and desperate. Hands, firmer pushed his hips back into the bed, holding him still. He sobbed, Chuuya's mouth only moved lightly, teasing him. He panted heavily while his hands clenched in the sheets.

"Please-" he begged. It was small, weak and all he could do. Chuuya paused, then pressed his mouth in harder. Dazai practically melted. Tears slid down the side of his face, into his ear. Chuuya grabbed the waistband of his pants, he smirked a bit before pulling his pants down. Dazai's head went back again. Chuuya stared at his exposed cock, weeping at the tip, fully hard. He pressed soft kisses to his hip bone, Dazai shivered beneath him. He looked up, Dazai's head was completely thrown back, letting him take control.

Dazai felt a hand grasp his dick, he wanted to thrust into it but another held him still. A warm wet tongue circled his tip and he squirmed in place. He couldn't do anything. He waited for the feeling of a warm mouth as patiently as he could, instead he felt two already wet fingers prodding at his ass. They tried to push in, he gasped and immediately tried to move away, nervous.

Chuuya shushed him and held him down even firmer, leaving his fingers to tease the rim but not going in. "What's wrong baby?" He said softly. Dazai moaned at the nickname. Chuuya's fingers kept lightly rubbing against him. He opened his mouth but all that came out was some unintelligible nonsense. Chuuya chuckled. He sat up and shuffled up to be level his face, his hand never left his dick. He looked into Dazai's eyes.

"Come on, what happened to that smart mouth of yours?"

The fingers kept teasing him, it made his chest feel light. Dazai just looked away and blushed.

He pushed Dazai's shirt up and exposed his stomach. There was more exposed skin there then on his neck. Chuuya leaned down and pressed a kiss to the sharp edge of his hipbone. Then another wet kiss against the tip of his cock, he kept licking it until Dazai squirmed beneath his tight grip, overwhelmed and desperate.

One of Dazai's hands reached to grab Chuuya's hand, he hovered before retreating, Chuuya pulled his hand momentarily from his hip to force it back. He held Dazai's own hand firmly against his hip, his fingers shook beneath Chuuya's.

It was disgustingly intimate.

Chuuya pushed a finger up into Dazai and he gasped. His entire body went tense as he clenched around it. Chuuya didn't let up, he began slowly circling his finger. Dazai's hips stuttered like they didn't know what to do.

Chuuya pressed into the walls of Dazai harder, slower. His dick throbbed and a desperate whimper left his lips. Chuuya's finger pressed in again. Another wet lick to the tip of his cock. Dazai body started to cave into the touch, his thighs relaxing slowly into the sheets beneath them. He pushed in another finger as soon as he relaxed, Dazai tensed again but then two fingers starting moving inside him in those slow, addicting circles. He immediately let go with another whimper.

"That's it baby, you're doing so good," Dazai's dick twitched against Chuuya's lips when he praised him. Chuuya pressed his lips against it. He didn't know why he was doing this, treating Dazai like his precious lover or something. But with every touch Dazai pushed back into and every tear that slipped from his big brown eyes he felt something that made him push further. Dazai didn't say anything about the soft words that kept spilling out of him, and Chuuya could tell he liked it. It just made more spill out.

He shouldn't be doing this.

Fingers pressed into a spot that made Dazai's whole body go still. He went silent immediately. Chuuya smirked and pressed even harder, Dazai let out a choked sob and a glob of precome leaked out, he licked it up immediately. His fingers began to assault that spot relentlessly, the hips beneath him trying to move around in response. Not to get away or to get closer, just twitching and bucking uselessly. He held him down.

Dazai let out a series of choked moans and gasps mixed with his pathetic crying while Chuuya fingered him slowly. Chuuya pressed his own hips into the bed, trying not to make it obvious. Dazai's fingers clenched and twitched where they were still holding hands. Chuuya wrapped his mouth around the tip of his cock finally, earning himself a violent twitch and a breathy noise.

He really wasn't going to last long. He licked up the sides of his cock and then returned his attention to the tip.

Dazai went silent as his entire body locked up. Warm spurts of come shot into Chuuya's mouth, he sucked harder as it twitched in his mouth. One of Dazai's knees tried to close him in, no move was made to push it away, instead he gripped his hand tighter, reassuring. The muscles in Dazai's stomach tensed while he came.

After about 10 seconds his body slumped completely. Chuuya moved off of him and sat back. Dazai laid on the bed, eyes wet and lidded and chest heaving, staring blankly at the ceiling. The look in his eyes was dazed with pleasure. It was hard to look away. Fresh tears fell from his eyes catching the dim light of the dark room, he sniffled. He looked like a complete loser, his pants pulled down halfway, laying there dazed and confused. So unlike himself.

"Are you okay?" Chuuya said, slightly teasing. He had one of his self-satisfied smirks on his face. Dazai let out something like an embarrassed groan, but it was high-pitched and broken. Chuuya giggled. Then they sat there, room silent. It felt weirdly light considering what they'd just done. Maybe it hadn't hit yet. Dazai's eyes dragged dangerously along Chuuya's body, as if unaware Chuuya could see him. He raised an eyebrow, Dazai didn't notice.

Dazai looked down at his crotch, Chuuya watched his throat bob, a hungry look in his eye.

He looked down, Dazai was still half hard. Must be because of the aphrodisiac, he almost forgot about that part of this. Chuuya crawled on top of him to put a hand on his cheek.

"Hey, look at me." 

Dazai looked into his eyes.

He decided to test it again, "Do you need more baby?" Dazai let out a small whine as he reached up to claw at Chuuya's shirt, pulling him down.

Chuuya resisted the tug, Dazai whined again.

Chuuya swallowed at how obviously desperate he was, he ran his hands down his sides holding him softly.

"It's okay baby, I got you. Just stay still." Dazai thrust his hips up into nothing, Chuuya held him down.

"I said stay still."

Dazai sobbed. Chuuya started slowly, kissing his neck again. He pointedly avoided his lips— as if that was what would make this too serious. Not the pet name, or the soft caresses. A kiss.

Dazai let out small moans unconsciously. His brain was too far gone, the drug slowing it down just enough to make him accept any touch he was given with a need he usually wouldn't express. He felt soft inside, like he was allowed to cry and whine and beg. Allowed to feel good.

His hips tried to thrust up again but the firm hands didn't give in. His dick twitched helplessly as he sobbed again.

Chuuya sat back and let go of him. He took of his own shirt casually, Dazai stared. Every other time he'd seen Chuuya shirtless he'd tried to avert his gaze as discreetly as he could, now he could let his gaze linger on every bit of skin. Chuuya pulled off his pants next, Dazai's eyes caught on the boner tenting his boxers.

Chuuya leaned forward again, Dazai's pants still half pulled down. He pulled them down fully, slowly like Dazai was something fragile. Dazai laid limp as he did what he wanted, only staring at Chuuya's exposed body.

He pulled off Dazai's shirt next, Dazai caught the way Chuuya was staring at his own body with lust in his eyes. He blushed. Chuuya went to place kisses on Dazai's stomach again, some of his hair fell and tickled the area between his thighs and stomach. It tickled, Dazai squirmed.

Warm wetness engulfed Dazai's cock again, this time it swallowed him whole. His mouth opened on a silent cry. Everything was so warm. The roof blurred again. His thighs trembled. A tongue pressed into his slit, His dick twitched. He whimpered again, his dignity was long forgotten.

Chuuya licked into the slit of Dazai's weeping cock. He loved every second of it, the way his dick twitched in his mouth. This soft and pliant version of Dazai that leaned into every touch like he wanted more. He wanted to give him whatever he needed. Chuuya palmed his own erection, his breath stuttering.

Dazai moaned, Chuuya could tell he was absolutely lost in it. His body was completely relaxed as Chuuya mouthed around his cock. He lifted his head up to push his tongue into the slit, earning him another moan. Tears were still slipping down Dazai's face. He pushed his tongue in again and felt the throb of his cock along with a glob of precome. He entertained the thought of just doing that motion over and over until Dazai came against his tongue from just that. He probably would. He was so desperate.

He removed one hand from Dazai's hip to satisfy the part of his cock that his mouth wasn't. He pushed his tongue in again, this time Dazai's dick throbbed a bit too hard, like he was actually about to come. Chuuya paused a moment then left him completely. Dazai groaned as he tried to thrust up into something, anything. His dick twitched dejected on his stomach. Chuuya tried not to laugh in his face.

"Already? Are you serious." He said it like he was disappointed, like he wasn't intensely watching Dazai's dick twitch in despair while he shook like a leaf. He palmed himself harder, biting his lip to stifle a groan.

Dazai began sobbing again. "Chuuya please, please— I need—" He was cut off by two fingers shoved gently into his mouth. He sobbed again.

"Be good baby."

Dazai moaned. He was so easy in this state. Chuuya pressed down on his tongue. He was moving it unconsciously, small twitches, licking at Chuuya's fingers. His hips were still thrusting into nothing.

He brushed his fingers over the wet tip of Dazai's dick, he let out a noise between a gasp, moan and sob all at once. His hips froze in place. He made a marbled sound sounding like a plea but it was hard to tell with the fingers in his mouth.

"Are you gonna be good?" He smirked, his voice came out more breathy than he intended.

Dazai nodded as fresh tears slipped down his face. Then he spoke, this time Chuuya could tell what he said.

Please.

Chuuya barely hesitated before he pulled down his own boxers. Dazai paused and stared at his cock. Chuuya watched the way his face reddened, letting out a heated breath where Chuuya's fingers were still pressed into his mouth. Chuuya pressed down on his tongue almost on purpose.

He didn't remove his fingers as he used one hand to spread Dazai's legs open. His breath hitched against his fingers. He grabbed his cock and pressed it against his hole, moaning roughly. Slim legs clenched around his hips. Just the thought of actually fucking Dazai made his mind go fuzzy. He sat there for a second not moving. Dazai squirmed.

God. Chuuya shivered. He was really about to fuck Dazai. And he was so desperate for it. Crying like he needed him. He let go of his dick to brush his finger across the head of Dazai's cock, his hips twitched up. He used it on himself, slathering his dick with precome. Lifting his hips up slightly he lined himself up to actually fuck him. He pushed it in, Dazai tensed a bit. Slowing down, he leaned closer, over his chest.

"Relax baby." he whispered, grinning when Dazai's dick twitched at the nickname again. It twitched against Chuuya's stomach, fresh precome leaving a wet trail. He pumped his fingers once in his mouth, somehow that made him relax his hips with a small noise. Dazai looked was so dazed. He pushed his fingers in again, Dazai moaned. Chuuya grinned, he liked that. He pushed his hips deeper, his previous line of thought immediately left him. It was so warm. He felt so good.

"Ugh, fuck." Chuuya groaned, legs weak. He felt Dazai shiver when he shifted. He pulled back then thrust all the way in. Dazai's hips twitched up. He looked down at his face. Dazai's eye was lidded staring into nothing, mouth slightly agape. He thrust in again. Dazai moaned around his fingers. He started a steady rhythm, thrusting messily into Dazai while he whined and cried.

A trail of drool fell from the side of Dazai's mouth. He pushed his fingers deeper. A deeper thrust, Dazai's hips moved desperately. Dazai's thighs squeezed around his waist, gripping the sheets to ground himself. He was letting out small moans and whimpers that seemed almost unconscious. So gone.

His legs shook beneath him. It all felt distant compared to the feeling of being inside Dazai, his walls clenched around him weakly.

Dazai's precome dragged along his stomach with every thrust forward. Chuuya removed his fingers from his mouth to leave soft caresses down his chest, his sides. He didn't miss the way Dazai sobbed when he did. He ghosted his fingers along his neck, his stomach, and his nipples, which earned him a needy twitch.

Chuuya’s hips twitched involuntarily slowing his rhythm, he could tell he was getting close. He moved his hand down to Dazai hips to get a firmer grip, when he thrust in he felt Dazai shiver especially hard. Shit, he must've hit his prostate. He began thrusting even deeper. Dazai's eyes screwed shut and he whimpered.

The feeling inside him intensified as Dazai clenched down on his cock, Chuuya came suddenly and hard. He didn't even know just how close he was until it happened.

Dazai felt Chuuya's hips waver as warm liquid filled him. He moaned. He could feel every twitch and spurt of Chuuya's cock, a shaky hand loosely wrapped around him and began moving up and down. His back arched, overwhelmed by all the sensations. Chuuya was still coming inside him.

He began to shake as he cried out. His head went back and he felt himself twitching in Chuuya's hand. The pleasure was overwhelming. He heard Chuuya let out an overstimulated whimper while he clamped down around his spent cock.

They both slumped. The room was quiet aside from their panting. Chuuya let go of Dazai's legs and they fell softly onto the mattress. He looked at his expression. Dazai looked like he was completely relaxed probably lost in his own post orgasmic bliss. There was still drool on his face.

It was almost cute.

He finally had that moment of clarity, he looked at himself, at Dazai. His heart was beating. He couldn't tell if it was bad.

Dazai was clearly too dazed to care about what they'd just done. It was stupid, Chuuya couldn't control his own desires. He should have ignored it when he heard Dazai call his name.

But he still felt that indescribable urge to take care of him. Comfort him. He came on his own stomach. It looked pathetic. He wanted to clean it up.

Maybe something could change.

Chuuya grabbed his own shirt from the ground. Dazai's eyes followed his moves lazily. He bunched it up in his fist and crawled back over to Dazai. He wiped the come of his chest. Slowly. Tenderly.

Dazai didn't know what to do with it. His brain was coming back to him. He tried not to do anything weird. He stayed as still as possible.

He could feel Chuuya's come leaking out of him. It made him blush. It was wrong.

He made a fool of himself. What was he thinking. His chest hurt. Stupid fucking aphrodisiac. Chuuya touched his thigh, reaching down with the towel. He flinched, Chuuya froze.

"Get off." He said coldly. Chuuya stared at him, he ignored the hurt expression in his eyes. He sat up. He felt the wetness on his mouth and cringed, wiping the drool off harshly, sliding his hand to the side of his face to wipe off the tears aswell. He reached for his boxers. Chuuya clenched the shirt covered in Dazai's come tighter between his fingers.

Ignoring how his whole body still felt light, he pulled on the boxers. The insides of his thighs were still so sensitive. He tried not to flinch when he accidentally grazed the sensitive head of his cock.

Chuuya spoke up, "Shouldn -"

"No Chuuya, it's fine." They stared at each other. Dazai broke the eye contact first, pressing his thighs together like it would hide his trembling.

"I- " Dazai looked down. "I was just out of my mind.. because of the aphrodisiac."

Chuuya looked down. He didn't feel like talking anymore. " yeah."

There was a pause.

Chuuya's saliva was still drying on his neck. His face heated as he remembered the warm kisses and licks.

His warm touch. His blue eyes. His pretty orange hair. How easily Dazai gave in.

They spent a couple moments in silence. Chuuya could still feel Dazai's saliva drying on his fingers. He could almost feel the inside of his mouth. His tears. His warmth. He stood up.

"Goodnight Dazai."

Dazai turned over. He didn't respond. Footsteps padded away to the door and it slowly creaked shut. He folded into himself. Chuuya was right there, right in front of him. Chuuya wanted him. He was so gentle with him, even if only for a moment.

Everything in his body felt light, he was still shaking. Chuuya had been so warm. So soft.

He should go back out and get him.

He didn't move.

If only.