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Josh sees him throughout the party, spilling his drink on shirt fronts—his own and others, shimmying his shoulders, swaying his hips, and sinking to his knees. Josh sees fingers tangle and pull in his brown hair. Fists form, lips part, and Josh sees him throughout the party.
“Hey.” The girl next to Josh is hanging from his arm, has been trying to attract his attention for the past fifteen minutes. She’s hot and isn’t wearing a bra, and Josh wants her off him. “Hey,” she tries again, tossing back another swallow of her beer. Josh watches him swallow and stand from the floor.
“Hey,” she repeats. “You should fuck him.” And she points at him, stumbling as he regains his balance. His can of Coke is left abandoned on the floor, kicked over by a stray foot or palm during the public oral.
“Hey, you should fuck him.” She points, and she drinks, and she says, “I heard he was easy. I heard he’s got a pussy. You should fuck him.”
He’s fumbling for another can of Coke inside a cooler next to the refreshments table. Half-picked at sugar cookies and pretzels, groups of young adults touch red plastic cups and eat sprinkles and lick lips and bite cheeks and moan and groan, and Josh sees him throughout the party.
“Go fuck him,” she says, and does a small grind of her hips. “Go fuck him. He’s easy. He’s got a pussy.”
“What’s his name?” Josh asks.
She rolls her eyes and drifts to another guy who would pay her mind.
Josh sees him throughout the party. Shoulders hunched, posture none too great, he looks out of place. Water drips from the sides of the Coke can kept between his fingertips. He cracks it open, takes a sip, and shakes his head. “Bad,” he mouths, yet doesn’t put it down. Don’t put down drinks at a party. They might get spilled during a blowjob, might get something slipped into it. He grips the can, the aluminum molding to his fingers.
Josh sees him throughout the party. Josh stands next to him, leans into him, whispers into his ear. “Hey,” Josh says, and he shivers. His eyes close. His grip tightens on the can. “I’m Josh.”
“Tyler,” he mumbles, snickering behind him. Someone cracks a glass beer bottle over a coffee table. There’s applause and shouting. “Do you want something, Josh?” Tyler raises an eyebrow. He has a pretty face, red lips, long eyelashes.
“Everybody wants something.” Josh shrugs.
“Yeah, but you came up to me.” Tyler’s other eyebrow arches. His lips part in a knowing smile. “You watched me. You want me.”
“I saw you.” Josh lets Tyler touch his face. Damp fingers, a wavering thumb, Tyler strokes the stubble across Josh’s cheeks. “Do you want me?”
“I want everybody,” Tyler says. “I want everybody everywhere. Where do you want me? On my knees?” Tyler smiles. “Right here? Right now?”
“Not here.” Josh moves his head from Tyler’s hand, mindful to not seem disgusted or as if he’s rejecting Tyler’s offer—far from it, actually. “Are you drunk? Smoked anything?”
“Completely sober. You?”
“Same.” Josh touches Tyler’s face now, petting his cheek and the soft skin there. “Come back to my apartment. I’ll take care of you.”
Tyler nearly buckles. He grows pink. He won’t meet Josh’s eyes. “Okay.”
On the way out, Josh catches the gaze of the girl from before. She’s bent over the arm of the sofa, ass in the air, getting fucked by a man with damaged blond hair and an ugly look on his face. Josh feels nothing. Tyler is behind him, walking with one foot in front of the other, a bounce in his step. “You live close by?”
“Ten or so minutes away.”
Outside is humid. Couples are lying on picnic blankets and kissing. Tyler pours his flat Coke in a bush and sets the empty can on the porch railing. “Hope they recycle it,” he remarks before running the rest of the way to Josh’s car.
They drive with the windows down. Barbecue and cigarette smoke, the night smells waver into the car. Tyler tilts his head back, eyes closed, and looks as if he’s being cleansed. Josh reaches over and holds Tyler’s hand. Tyler squeezes.
“How many people have you been with tonight?” Josh asks.
Tyler takes a moment to think. “About five. No more than I can count on my fingers. Some of them didn’t even come. Told me they would rather come inside some girl.” Tyler opens his eyes. He turns his head and looks outside. “That’s how that goes, though.”
It’s quiet on their way to Josh’s apartment. Once the door closes, Josh kisses Tyler. Tyler is surprised, but leans in again after realizing just what’s going on and what he had agreed to at the party. More tongue and more saliva than Josh would care for at this point, he pulls away to drop to Tyler’s neck. He kisses him here, gently biting. Tyler hums.
“Heard you were easy,” Josh says, lowering a hand to cradle the small of Tyler’s back. “Heard you got a cunt.”
Tyler shudders and twists from Josh’s arm. “Fuck you,” he hisses. “Who told you that?”
Josh goes down the obvious route. Maybe. “That you were easy? Some girl. She tried to get with me, but I didn’t want her.”
Tyler rolls his eyes. “Don’t care about that. Who told you I had a… a cunt?”
“The same girl.” Josh shrugs. It’s nothing. He says as much. “Gonna let me kiss you again?”
Tentatively, Tyler nods and steps back into the comfort of Josh’s arms. Josh envelopes him, lifts him, and Tyler touches Josh’s arms, Josh’s shoulders, and they go to Josh’s bedroom, tripping over the leg of a coffee table and the corner of the doorframe. They wobble, but stay upright the rest of the way to Josh’s bedroom.
Unceremoniously, they fall on Josh’s unmade bed, blankets tangled and a corner of the bedsheet loose. Josh struggles to fix it as Tyler’s hands roam along Josh’s sides.
“Okay,” Josh says, and curls his fingers into Tyler’s t-shirt. “Is this okay?” The hem is in his hand. He rubs the cotton material. “Can I take this off?”
Tyler nods. He raises his arms and returns to Josh’s bed, elbows propping himself on a pillow. Josh drops the shirt on the carpet, crawls between Tyler’s legs. “You’ll need to take off your binder, too,” Josh says, “because I don’t want you to—”
“I know.” Tyler looks down at his chest. “I don’t usually wear one. Just… tonight… going out in public.”
“I get it, man.” Josh touches Tyler’s chest and splays out his fingers. “You’re really flat. You’re not that busty, are you?”
Tyler shakes his head. He’s comfortable, tension gone from his shoulders as Josh’s palm runs down to gently pet the slight pouch of his stomach. “Guess I’m lucky.”
Josh kisses Tyler’s neck. Tyler sighs. “Take off your shirt.” He smiles. “It’s your turn.”
Josh does.
Tyler falls onto his back, both hands covering his face. “Josh…”
Josh wraps his fingers around Tyler’s wrists. He slowly pulls them from Tyler’s face.
“Josh.”
“We can take our binders off together,” Josh says, “if that’ll help you feel safer.”
“Of course you didn’t care if I had…” Tyler drifts, can’t say it. He shakes his head. “You have one, too.”
“When that girl told me that, I wanted to laugh in her face. Wanted to tell her, ‘Jokes on you! I got a cunt, too,’ but I didn’t. I’m… I like being able to pass as a cis man.”
After removing their binders, they sit criss-cross applesauce on Josh’s bed. Tyler studies Josh, and Josh studies Tyler. “Obviously you’ve been on testosterone longer than me. I started a month ago.” Tyler scoots closer. “Dude, can I suck on your nipples? Sorry, they’re just… Shit, I love them.”
Josh slowly lowers onto his back, arms going above his head, Tyler hovering over him. “Go ahead.”
Small and brown, Josh’s nipples are hard. His breasts are perky, a perfect shape to mimic sculpted pectoral muscles when he binds. Tyler’s are smaller, nipples pink, barely filling Josh’s hand when he palms it. Tyler’s tongue circles around Josh’s areola. From one to the other, Tyler quietly hums. He presses kisses to the goosebumps around the nipple, on the breast, up to Josh’s collarbones. Tyler slides, using his forearms to crawl. Chest to chest now, Tyler bursts out laughing. “Okay, but when you were on your period, did your boobs hurt, like, a lot?”
“Yes!” Josh laughs with Tyler. “Especially the few days right before I started. They were so tender.”
“Couldn’t even lay on my stomach, they hurt so bad.” Tyler pecks Josh’s chin, the spot beneath his earlobe. “Couldn’t even think about doing this.”
Josh wraps his arms around Tyler’s torso. “Feels nice, yeah? Skin-to-skin contact.”
“Take off your pants.”
“Right after you.”
They’re hugging again, naked flesh to naked flesh. Tyler’s legs are fuzzy and soft. Josh can’t stop touching his thighs and the curve of his ass. Wet lips along necks and cheeks, Tyler becomes acquainted with the hair on Josh’s jawline. He nuzzles it, nips, and Josh arches into him, heels disconnecting from the bedsheets. Josh washed them just this morning. They’re smooth, soothing, and soon to be spoiled.
Tyler’s fingers are as wet as his lips. Down, down, he ghosts the tips along Josh’s sides and lower to his ass, swooping inwards toward the tight space between their bodies. Josh told Tyler he was going to take care of him, but Tyler is stealing that role and turning it on its head. He asks permission before, though—always a good thing to ask permission.
“Do you mind if I get you off first?”
Josh shakes his head. “Go to town.”
Tyler does.
He slides down, using his elbows again to push himself down Josh’s body. A kiss to a nipple, a bite to a hipbone, Tyler is quick when it comes to settling between Josh’s legs and nestling in that patch of dark hair. Josh didn’t shave, didn’t even trim, but Tyler doesn’t mind. He flattens his tongue against Josh’s pubic mound, licking up to the skin beneath Josh’s belly button. And then, he repeats, a little lower this time. He starts, again, at Josh’s pubic mound, flicking upward. And then, he goes lower, at Josh’s clit, and up. And then, again. And then, again.
“Yeah, you’ve definitely been on testosterone longer than me.” Tyler sticks two fingers into his mouth and coats them with saliva. The touches to Josh’s clit are gentle and anxious. Tyler is testing the waters, rubbing the base of Josh’s clit, leaning in to spit on his thumb in order to rub at the tip later on. Josh squirms at that, and Tyler immediately removes his thumb. “Too sensitive?”
Josh nods. “Just keep doing that, baby.”
Tyler slips his fingertips lower, spreading them to run down each side of Josh’s vulva. He kisses Josh’s clit, kisses it again. “Want me to fuck you with my fingers?”
“No.”
Tyler licks Josh’s labia. He wraps his lips around one and sucks. Josh curls his toes and closes his eyes. “Talk to me,” Tyler says, and goes back to Josh’s clit. He touches it with index finger and thumb after getting them wet with drool and Josh’s self-lubrication. “Like it when you talk to me. Call me ‘baby.’” Tyler ghosts his lips up and down Josh’s clit, the tip of his tongue flicking out on every fourth upstroke.
“Do you?” Josh laughs at Tyler’s playful pout. “What else do you like?”
“Not my turn.” Tyler shakes his head. “Ask me later.” He loops his arms around Josh’s legs, pulls him closer. “Gonna suck on your clit now, okay?” Tyler drums an absent beat on Josh’s thighs. “‘Clit’ is cool, yeah? Or d’ya want me to call it a cock?”
“Clit’s fine.” Josh runs his fingers through Tyler’s hair and gives a healthy tug. “Would be better if you—yeah, baby, right there, right there.”
As if he were still at the party, down on his knees before a leaking dick, Tyler bobs his head and slurps and hums. When he hums, Josh shivers and forgets it isn’t polite to maintain a death grip on someone’s hair. Tyler doesn’t care. At Josh’s easing, Tyler glances up at Josh, and Josh tightens his grip, and Tyler hums more often and kisses and drools just as much.
“Baby, baby, baby,” Josh whispers. “M’gonna come.”
Tyler understands. He pushes himself up, sits on Josh’s hips. Tyler’s wet. Warm between his legs, a faint pink flush across the tops of his breasts, Tyler is breathless and wrecked.
“Dammit,” Josh sighs. “You’re beautiful.” He touches Tyler’s hips and edges them forward. Again, Tyler understands. He’s crawling up Josh’s chest and stopping once his knees are on either side of Josh’s neck. “There you go,” Josh whispers, biting into Tyler’s thigh, the soft flesh. Tyler whimpers and trembles. “C’mere, baby. Sit on my face.”
Tyler scoots himself further up Josh’s body and hovers above Josh’s mouth, his hands on his thighs. They’re still trembling. Josh returns his hands on Tyler’s hips and holds on, balancing Tyler, weak Tyler, aroused Tyler. Tyler doesn’t move. He doesn’t sink down, doesn’t do anything, so Josh leans in, sealing the gap between them with an eager tongue. Tyler gasps. He sticks a hand in Josh’s hair. “Oh, shit.” Josh turns his head from side to side, licking at labia, sucking on Tyler’s clit. “Josh, Joshie.” Tyler moves with Josh, hips obtaining a mind of their own as he twists and grinds and fucks himself on Josh’s tongue. He’s crying as he approaches his climax, whole body twitching, whole body shivering and so fucking warm.
Josh pulls away. Tyler is breathless again, pink again, breasts moving up and down while he fights to catch his breath. Warm palms, warm breasts, Josh cups them, squeezes, and Tyler places his hands over Josh’s hands. He shuts his eyes, lips parted. A whimper escapes. Tyler is drenched, and Josh can feel it on his chin.
“Next to me,” Josh says, and Tyler flops onto his side, next to Josh. “Do you want me to fuck you?” he asks, and wiggles his fingers.
Tyler says, “No, fingers feel weird to me.”
“Dude, same.”
They smile.
Tyler says, “What do you want me to do?”
“Lie there and be pretty. Told you I’d take care of you.”
Amongst the crumpled bedsheets and wrinkled pillow cases, Tyler is a god. He looks at Josh through his dark eyelashes and keeps that eye contact with a part in his lips and sweat on his face. Josh’s hand drops between Tyler’s legs as he stays by Tyler’s side, rubbing and stroking whatever his fingers can touch. He begins high, with the dark curls, and then lower to the darker and damper curls there. Josh plays with them, parts them, and uses a fingertip to massage Tyler’s outer labia, then closer to the inner labia. “I can tell you like this,” he says to Tyler. “Look at you.”
Tyler closes his eyes.
“Look at you.” Josh kisses Tyler’s neck. Tyler turns his head, tilting it to expose more of his neck. An invitation, Josh scoots closer, digs in his teeth. He runs his fingers up and circles Tyler’s clit. Tyler convulses. He bites his lip. “Yeah?”
“Keep doing that,” Tyler murmurs, languid and sweet. “I’m so close.”
“Don’t want me to go faster?”
“No. Keep doing this.” Tyler rests his hand on his stomach, the other grasping the bed covers. “My orgasm will be more intense like this.”
“Done this before, then?”
“Of course.” Tyler lets go of the sheets and drifts toward Josh’s groin. He’s shaking. Josh bends a knee and spreads his legs. “Want you to feel what I’m feeling.” So, he coats his fingers with the wet slick of Josh’s cunt and dances circles around Josh’s clit.
Josh’s body is static. He’s pinker than Tyler. He’s losing control. Tyler kisses his shoulder. “Shit,” he curses, and grunts into Josh’s shoulder, his arm. Both his and Josh’s movements are stuttered as Tyler comes. Whole body twitches, back arching, legs curling into his chest, Tyler gasps and tosses his head back in the process. “Fuck,” he exclaims, and shoves away Josh’s hand. “Are you close?” He’s nearly drunk from his apex, fumbling to climb on top of Josh. “Want you to come inside me,” he says, and sits on Josh’s hips again. So fucking wet, so fucking loose, Tyler scoots back until Josh’s cunt is beneath his. Tyler sinks down, down, down on Josh’s clit. Too sensitive, Tyler cries, not for the first time tonight and probably not the last. “Jesus Christ,” he says in a mock prayer. “I think you can fuck me like this.”
Josh bucks his hips. Tyler whines. Josh says, “Baby boy,” and Tyler whines even longer. “Rub your clit for me. I bet you can come again.”
“I can’t,” Tyler protests, but he’s licking his fingers and rubbing his clit. “Too much.” He rocks his hips. “It’s too much.”
This time, when Tyler comes, Josh comes with him. Unable to form a coherent thought, Tyler grumbles something unintelligent and lies on top of Josh. Eyes closed, fresh tears on his cheeks, Tyler is going to spend the rest of the night in Josh’s bed. Josh doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t want to move either. With a well-aimed kick of his foot, Josh grabs hold of the blanket and tosses it over the pair of them. Tyler grumbles, Josh kisses his forehead, and they don’t move until morning.
By then, Tyler is better. He can speak without fault. “Last night was good,” he says, walking around Josh’s room and collecting his clothes. “Was this a one-time thing? That girl dared you to fuck me, right?”
“I did fuck you.” Josh sits on the edge of his bed, dressing, too.
Tyler grins after pulling on his binder. “We should get breakfast. I’m hungry.”
“Do you want this to be a one-time thing?”
“Obviously not. I’m asking for breakfast. If you were a bad lay, I would have crawled out the window when you fell asleep.”
“No, you wouldn’t.”
Tyler can’t stop smiling. “Yeah. You’re soft. You treat me nice. Didn’t care I—”
“—was easy?”
Tyler rolls his eyes. “Had a cunt.”
Josh stands. He pushes Tyler’s hair from his face and kisses his mouth. “Jokes on you,” Josh sings. “I got a cunt, too.”